The Shepherdess and the Questing Beast
by PMC65
Summary: The second installment of E.W. Shepard and Liara T'Soni's Story that includes the two finally meeting, Shepard becoming a SpecTRe, the hunt for Saren Arterius and the destruction of the Normandy. This is a blend of ME1 and AU ... Please be advised, as with A Thessian's Whisper, there are dark elements in this story as well as humor. Rated M for mature themes.
1. Meeting of the Minds

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or storylines from the Mass Effect Universe._

_Author's Note: This is the second installment of E.W. Shepard's life …The story follows the lives of those aboard the SSV Normandy SR-1 as they hunt down the former Spectre Saren Arterius, as well as the lives that they touch along the way._

**"And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." (John 10:16)**

* * *

><p>"Well, what about Shepard?" The question hung in the air of the Human Ambassador's office.<p>

The Ambassador, Donnel Udina, was seated at the head of the conference table with Admiral Steven Hackett and the United North American States Senator Claudette Varus to his right while Captain David Anderson and Udina's Executive Assistant, Antun Obradovićo, were to his left. On the table mixed in with the coffee cups, glasses of water, the Senator's purse and Hackett's flask were datapads, pictures of the Mindoir massacre, the Blitz, the dead body of the turian Admiral Carthaana and an Alliance soldier being awarded the Star of Terra.

For the past few hours the group had been reviewing the record as well as the political advantages of a human becoming an agent of the Citadel Council … One human in particular, Lieutenant Commander Elizabeth W. Shepard. It had been two weeks since the Ambassador had been notified by the Citadel Council that one of their SpecTRe agents had submitted the name of the human as a potential candidate to the elite group. While Udina sensed hesitation, actually disapproval by the turian Ambassador, he knew that there was hope. Hope not because of the nomination, candidates had been submitted throughout the years, but because for the first time the nomination did not come from a human. This nomination came from another species and a turian at that. This was not only truly a first, but a very surprising first.

Udina had spent a great portion of his time pushing for humanity to be accepted within the 'trilogy', as he privately called the Citadel Council. The trio had made him feel small, dim-witted and weak when he first became Ambassador but over time he had pushed to be, if not equal … well, then recognized. And it hadn't been easy. It still wasn't. It was a constant battle for each half step that humanity took. Udina's struggle to further humanity's role in the galactic community and especially within the Council, just as his predecessor had, resulted in a daily dose of diazepam, bottles of Bourbon and sleepless nights. As he slowly sold off his soul he told himself that if it meant that humanity was that much closer to having an actual seat on the Council, having an equal voice in galactic decisions and not having to wait on approval for every decision then he would gladly strip his soul bare. Having a human inducted into the SpecTRes was one step closer to humanity having that seat on the Citadel Council … A seat that he saw as his and his alone.

But he was also nervous that the human picked might not be approved. His nervousness increased after reviewing the military record of the just recently promoted Lieutenant Commander. Yes, she was the reason that Elysium survived but she was also known as the 'Butcher of Children' as well. He saw no higher education, no real pedigree and, truth be told, he would have preferred that Shepard had been male. He was concerned about Shepard's ability to hold her own against humans, turians, asari and god only knows what else in the galaxy. He would have preferred a male for the physical strength, highly educated to be able to mentally maneuver socially as needed and from a respected family. That would have been his choice.

He had always monitored the types of humans arriving on the Citadel, since they represented humanity. Anyone or anything seen as inappropriate or unseeming in manner by his office was dealt with swiftly. He was just thankful that one had to have some funds to fly out to the Citadel. One of his re-occurring nightmares was a dream where shuttles full of dirty, filthy colonists arrive on the Citadel bringing their vulgarity, crime and stench with them. There was enough of that deep in the wards, although not like Omega. He just didn't want humanity rolled into that. Udina knew that others may see him as a snobbish hard ass, but they did not have the burden of answering to the Council or explaining every step that his kind made. They did not have the burden of justifying and promoting the human race to other species, while covering up their own shortcomings.

_Why has this turian picked a non-educated female colonist?_ Udina had thought as he prepared for the meeting. _What does he plan to gain?_ Udina was not one to trust anyone or anything straight out of the gate and was always looking for ulterior motives; the knife aimed at his back. Paranoid? Maybe. Some would say a healthy politician's mindset. Yes, Udina was always cautious of strangers bearing gifts. And this gift concerned him at the same time that it pleased him.

* * *

><p>Before the guests began to arrive at his office, Udina ran his staff ragged in preparation. He had never met the prominant and very influential Claudette T. Varus, who was not only the United North American States Senator and a retired Fleet Admiral of the Systems Alliance, but she was also one of the Varus' of North Carolina. The Varus name was old money tied to railroads, aviation and American politics with a US President and countless Senators in the tree. As she entered the office he felt his stomach tighten.<p>

Udina was not unaware of the Senator's connection to Shepard but did not know just how deep that connection ran. The Senator had been behind the young soldier's career since the Blitz, pushing any ceilings out of her way and responsible, although not intentionally, of the soldier becoming an N7. The Senator was instrumental in seeing that Shepard not only received the Star of Terra but also that she was promoted to Staff Lieutenant after not only defending Elysium but also avenging her son's death during the siege. Senator Varus had come to the meeting to ensure that nothing stopped the nomination, to blow out another ceiling if needed. She was glad that she came when she saw that Udina had files of other soldiers and law enforcement officers as potential replacements. She could also see that all the files were of males which made her look at her old friend Hackett and smile as she whispered, "Strange … I do not see any females in these stacks."

"Now, Claudy," Hackett grinned back. "You and I know that there is only one Shepard. On the battlefield political correctness can get people killed. The Ambassador is concerned that a female out in the galaxy may be more at risk then a male. I would agree except that we both know that this female is unique. She has a gift to overcome even her own limitations."

The Senator thought of the massive injuries that would have killed a weaker soul ... injuries that Shepard had received on the planet Antibaar just six months prior. It had placed her in the hospital for a month, physical therapy for another three months and from what she heard the soldier was now a fanatic of strength training. "Unique. I hear that she spends a great time in the gym now."

"Did you read the Antibaar report?" He asked. "How she not only survived but killed General Lers Wrylhilm … and with a knife. Not many men could have done that from what I understand of the General."

"But Shepard did," She reminded as she placed a hand on his arm and said just loud enough for his ears only, "I could not have picked a better candidate than her and I trust that you will see that she is approved."

Hackett pulled her chair out for her to sit and as she took her place he bent down and whispered back, "Have I ever disappointed you, Claudy?" This had made the two old friends laugh.

* * *

><p>"Senator, I am very pleased that you have graced us with your presence," Udina welcomed her as the meeting was called to order.<p>

"Ambassador," the Senator responded, "To have a human inducted into the SpecTRes is of the utmost importance. We cannot allow the chance to be lost once again." Captain Anderson shifted uncomfortably in his chair at the words. Varus, ignoring the effect of her words on him, continued, "Do you know why this agent chose her?"

"He must have seen her on the extranet," Udina answered.

"Did he wake up one morning and decide to find a human to nominate?" She asked as she opened her purse, "I find that improbable. No. There was a reason."

Udina watched as the Senator took out a small bottle of perfume, "Maybe they met previously?"

"No," Captain Anderson responded. "Our records show that Shep-"

"Commander Shepard," Hackett corrected.

"Excuse me, sir," Anderson nodded, "Commander Shepard and this Nihlus Kryik have never met."

"How can we be sure?" Udina responded.

"Ambassador," Hackett frowned, "the Commander has been in the Alliance since she was nineteen. Before that she was either on Earth or Mindoir. If they met it would not have been in an official or military capacity. That is a fact."

"Maybe they met in passing, while the Commander was on shore leave?" Udina questioned.

The Senator gave a small laugh, "Ambassador, while Commander Shepard is an extraordinary soldier … she is still a woman. And a soldier, male or female, on leave would not inspire someone to see SpecTRe potential."

Hackett looked at the Senator, "Unless the shore leave was on Elysium. But we show no records of this Nihlus being there."

The Senator's brow furrowed at the mention of Elysium causing Hackett to touch her hand. The Senator patted him back and then turned her eyes on Udina, "Ambassador, why the Commander? What was the reason given?"

Udina could feel the tension as the knot in his stomach returned, "I am sorry Senator, how or why he chose her was not shared with me. The Council only said that he had reviewed her record and felt that she had the potential to join the ranks."

"He reviewed her records? Based on what?" the Senator said more to herself.

"The Blitz?" Hackett mused.

The Senator looked over at Hackett now himself deep in thought, "I have heard that the turians were impressed with her art of the general on Elysium."

"Art of the general?" Udina asked the Senator confused.

Hackett hearing the old term being used was roused from the Blitz and answered for the Senator, "Her military strategy, Ambassador. She was able to plan, coordinate and execute a defensive line using a very rag tag team on Elysium."

Anderson pulling a picture of Elysium showing scorched bodies of men, women and children added, "She brought soldiers, colonists and even children together to hold back pirates, warlords and slavers until the Alliance could break through."

The Senator thinking of her son, as well as those that were more fortunate and survived, looked directly at Udina and said, "What she did on Elysium was not only impressive as a soldier … it was inspirational as a human. Not only her acts of courage, but her resilience serve as a reminder to what we as a species can do, inspiring those who serve in the trenches and to colonists carving out new settlements in unknown and very dangerous waters."

Hackett loved it when the Senator got up on her soap box, the fire returning to her eyes. As his friend finished her short speech he reached out and squeezed her hand again. "Mindoir is very proud of their daughter and honoring her again as we speak. The Commander is there now at the opening of her childhood home as a museum."

"I hear that she donated the ranch that belonged to the Sheriff Birgit Hallestrøm back to Highland Falls," Captain Anderson said.

"Yes, Captain." The senator answered. "The main home is a museum to the Sheriff and from what I hear it houses some amazing artwork as well. The Sheriff was an avid art collector and some of the pieces are worth millions. The remaining thirty acres were turned into a park … The Birgit Hallestrøm Reserve, they call it."

"It is hard to believe that it's been almost thirteen years since that raid," Anderson lowered his head as he thought of all the civilians killed and the children carried off. "What she must have seen."

Now three hours later after reviewing and ultimately rejecting all alternatives, dissecting the Commander Shepard's service record and personal history, discussing options if failure appeared down the road and potential backlashes as a result, Udina asked, "Well, what about Shepard?"

"She knows how tough life can be out there," Captain Anderson answered as he looked at photos of the Mindoir massacre. To highlight how much she knew he added, "Her parents were killed when slavers attacked Mindoir." With Hannah Shepard dying just 4 days prior to the attack the general belief was that she had also died in the assault with her husband, Pierce Shepard. No matter how many times Shepard tried to get this corrected, she found that once the information had been entered into the Systems Alliance data base it was forever cited as truth.

"She proved herself during the Blitz," Admiral Hackett added, "Held off enemy forces on the ground until reinforcements arrived."

"She's the only reason that Elysium is still standing," Captain Anderson agreed.

Ambassador Udina looked at pictures of the aftermath and there was no denying what she had went through there, "We can't question her courage."

Udina's secretary, Mary Rhys, brought in the afternoon tea as Captain Anderson rose to stretch his legs. After reviewing the Commander's record he realized that if anyone could make this work … well, the colonist that had survived everything she had faced to date was probably their best bet, "Humanity needs a hero … And Shepard's the best we've got."

Admiral Hackett took a swig from his flask as the Senator nodded her head in agreement moving the Ambassador Udina to rise from his seat, "I'll make the call."

As Udina went to the other side of the office to contact the Council and the Senator excused herself to the ladies room, Anderson looked at Hackett, "Admiral, what do you personally know of the Commander?"

"Outside of the reports?" Hackett asked as he stopped the secretary from pouring tea in a cup she had placed in front of him, choosing to drink the Scotch whiskey in his ever present flask instead.

"Yes, sir." Anderson answered as he sat back down. He knew that you couldn't get a true sense of a person based off reports. He needed to understand a person's motivations … what drove them. You couldn't find a person's soul in documents.

"She barely survived Mindoir '70," Hackett said as he put the cap back on his flask. "I would think that seeing the horrors there were part of her drive to join the Alliance. It was also seeing what an enemy will do that gave her the understanding that she could not flinch from making hard decisions during the Blitz."

"Those children would have died," Anderson said in reference to the group that Shepard had called her LOTF team, named after 'Lord of the Flies'. These children ranging from six to eighteen were handed weapons, morse code devices and used to run supplies as needed. Many were killed as they stood beside the adults and after the dust had settled she was demonized by some for this. Lawsuits followed and as one mother, Tawny Hillard, called her the 'Butcher of children!' during a press conference the name stuck. But to most, the Alliance, Elysium and Mindoir especially, she was considered a hero.

Hackett, along with the Senator who at that time was an Admiral, were one of the few privy to the full report and knew that Captain Anderson had no idea of what the young Alliance Naval Operations Chief E.W. Shepard had not only commanded but really done during the Blitz. There were times that she had made very ruthless decisions that must not have been easy. Decisions that a true military mind would understand but civilians would have not only found inhumane … they would have condemned. Looking at the Senator's lipstick on her half-empty coffee cup, Hackett thought of the night that Shepard with three Marines stripped down naked, covered each other in mud and taking only their weapons carefully snuck behind enemy lines to not only avenge the death of Major Dander Varus but to cause fear and psychological damage to the enemy. Following her lead, all four were cruel and without mercy as they overtook the enemy. What Hackett didn't know but would have guessed was that a part of Hannah Shepard's daughter died that night. He could have guessed that Shepard knew that if others were going to survive she would have to sacrifice a part of herself and so without hesitation she removed all compassion and empathy as she crossed into enemy territory. He would have guessed because as an old soldier he had his own scars … scars not visible but carved deep into his very being.

After Elysium was liberated and the Alliance began investigating the events, the brutal acts of 'Dander's Night', as the Alliance codenamed the event, were covered up for fear that it would not only add to the small group that was demonizing the "Hero of the Blitz"… but it would also have far reaching and very negative repercussions within the galactic community. Granted, there was no love lost with the batarians but her acts of retribution were so severe and violent that the Alliance believed that the other alien species would see the acts as not only unnecessary violence, cruelty and torture, but also standard operation procedures for humans during battle. The other alien races already saw humans as brutal and what she had done that dark night would have confirmed the unforgiving and darker side of humanity that the Alliance was trying to keep from the Council. The Alliance brass had been grateful that Shepard had used only Marines during the infiltration since civilians were more likely to talk about what happened to the press. _She did what she had to do that night_, Hackett thought to himself as he looked over at Anderson, "Yes … the children."

As minutes passed, Anderson finally asked what he had wanted to ask since he was summoned away from the responsibilities of the SSV Normandy to the Citadel. After all, for the last six months he had been instructed to focus all of his time and attention on overseeing the construction process of a new type of frigate, a deep scout frigate that was co-developed between the Alliance and the turian hierarchy. All other matters had been placed on hold and now as the frigate was nearly completed, his crew handpicked and finishing up their training, he was called away for this. "Admiral, while I am honored to be included in this potential advancement for humanity …. Well, there are more qualified individuals that could have been here in my place."

Hackett looked up at Anderson as he finished answering a text and then as he turned to look at Udina across the office speaking with the asari Councilor he said, "Ask your real question, Captain."

"Why was my presence needed her today, sir?" Anderson asked as he turned the tea cup absentmindedly in the saucer.

Hackett put his flask back into his inside pocket before answering, "A fair question, Captain. After careful deliberation with the Senator Varus we have agreed that in light of the Lieutenant Commander's potential SpecTRe status … she is to be placed under your command as the Executive Officer of the SSV Normandy."

Captain Anderson respected the record of E.W. Shepard but he had been carefully picking and training the crew for over six months, "Admiral, the Normandy crew has been in training together now for half a year with a very qualified XO."

"Yes, Chief Navigator Pressly … A good man," Hackett smiled. "Captain, this will only be temporary. Once Shepard is inducted into the SpecTRes then she will be placed elsewhere."

"I see," And Anderson did see. He was not being consulted on this decision, the decision had been made. "Wasn't Shepard being assigned to the 63rd Scout Flotilla?"

"Yes," Hackett not only could see that Anderson was concerned about changing XO's so close to the shakedown run but also understood his reasons, "I have been in discussion with the Rear Admiral Mikhailovich of this latest development. He had personally requested the Commander so he was just as happy as you, Captain." Anderson tried to protest but the Admiral held up his hand, "But unlike you he is under the impression that she is just to be involved in the shakedown run. The nomination is not being shared outside of a very small circle."

Anderson began turning his cup in semi-circles as he cleared his throat, "I am just concerned that with only a few more weeks, a month at the most, left of training … well, the Lieutenant -"

"I can assure you Captain," Hackett interrupted, "the Lieutenant Commander will not only meet any expectations that you have, but she will exceed them as well. We would not put the success of the Normandy at risk for political reasons. Of that I can guarantee you."

"I did not mean to give the appearance that I thought the Alliance would, Admiral."

"It's agreed then," Hackett smiled and stood up as both the Ambassador and Senator returned to the conference table. "Lieutenant Commander Shepard will report to you by the end of the week."

"As will the SpecTRe Nihlus Kryik," Udina said as he sat down.

"The SpecTRe?" The Senator asked as Hackett held out her seat. She looked down at it, shook her head no and continued, "Was this approved by you Stevie?"

Udina spoke before either Hackett or Anderson could, "He will need to start evaluating as well as training her if she is to even be considered … as the Captain here can fully attest to."

Anderson was quickly brought back to when he had been a candidate and the image of Saren Arterius flashed in his memory. "Of course, but I would like to meet with this Nihlus first."

"Of course, Captain." Udina said as Hackett and the Senator continued to stand. "He has requested to meet with you later this evening at Flux's for drinks. I told him that you would be glad to meet with him."

"Well, gentleman and lady," Hackett said as he began to move away from the table, "I must leave your company as I have a dinner engagement with my niece in just under an hour."

"Your niece is on the Citadel?" Udina asked. "Do I know her?"

"Auggie is here?" The Senator asked, "How is she?"

Hackett grabbed his cap from the hat rack as he answered, "She is well and still full of spit. Perhaps you would like to join us? I am sure she would love to see you."

"Just let me stop by my suite and freshen up," The Senator smiled.

Hackett looked over at Udina, as he helped the Senator on with her coat, "My niece, Captain August Roux, is here visiting a friend that just recently joined the C-Sec … an Officer Eddie Lang."

"Officer Eddie Lang?" Udina repeated. "Where is he stationed on the Citadel?"

"In the Wards from what I understand," Hackett answered, extending his arm for the Senator. "According to my niece, he loves it there."

"I am glad to hear that," Udina smiled at Hackett and then turned to his real focus, "It was a pleasure meeting you, Senator Varrus. I hope that the diplomatic suite is to your satisfaction."

"Thank you, Ambassador," Senator Varrus smiled, as Udina bent slightly at the waist and lightly kissing her hand. "My … Stevie why aren't you as well-mannered as the Ambassador?" Hackett could be heard grumbling a response as he adjusted his hat, prompting the Senator to squeeze his arm playfully, "What was that?"

Hackett's eyes crinkled as he couldn't help but smile, "I said we needed to leave so that Auggie doesn't have to wait too long for us."

"Yes, I'm sure that is what you said, Admiral." The Senator laughed.

Udina had hoped to be invited as well, but when no invitation came, he offered his hand to the Admiral and said, "If you or your niece needs anything while on the Citadel … anything at all, please don't hesitate to call me."

As Udina walked the Senator and Admiral out of his office, Anderson smiled at Udina's assistant who had sat quietly taking notes throughout the meeting and then walked over to the terrace. As he looked out over the Presidium he couldn't help but worry. _Commander Shepard_, he thought, _let's hope that you are everything they say you are. _


	2. Homecoming

It was a beautiful crisp early morning in downtown Highland Falls as Shepard walked outside of the Wextin Hotel. One of the bellboys had escorted her out and as he opened the cab door he tipped his cap, "Have a nice morning, Commander Shepard."

Shepard smiled at him as she took her seat, "Thank you Roger. You have a nice morning as well."

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call the hotel," he added as he carefully closed the door.

Shepard tucked warmly in the cab looked at the driver, "Please take me to 2001 Verne Street."

The cab driver looked back at her in the mirror, "Ma'am?"

Shepard frowned, "I'm sorry … I mean Shepard Street."

Strange … For sixteen years she had lived at 2001 Verne Street and now for the past five years it had been re-named Shepard Street. Her father's parents had flown from Savannah, Georgia to Highland Falls, Mindoir to attend the unveiling of the sign in her place while Shepard had been in yet another court hearing in Geneva, following the Skyllian Blitz. She had been back to Mindoir four times since the Blitz, though and had kept active, or at least the best that she could after she had joined the Alliance, with Mindoir and the re-building. But she had not in all that time been ready to walk down her old childhood street or see where she had spent her happiest moments. She had avoided her childhood home on all those trips … Avoided it until now.

Now here she was about to not only see it, but open it to the public. The ceremony was to take place in just three hours and Shepard had not slept well. She had decided that she wanted to see her home alone after being away thirteen years. She felt that she was ready, but just in case she couldn't stop tears from falling … she preferred to share them with the ghosts of her past.

Just as the cab driver turned on to the street, Shepard asked him to stop. "I'll walk from here."

She paid the cab and as he drove off she looked at the street sign, Shepard Street. It made her shake her head, _it just doesn't look right ... It should say Verne Street_. Then she thought of what her mother might have said and she felt embarrassed. Shepard then looked towards the lake and as a shuima rose out of the water, she smiled. The horse-like fish use to scare her dad and she could remember how her mother once shook her head at his flinching when one of them appeared. "Pierce, they don't bite."

"So you say," her father had replied. "But anything with teeth like that woman … they don't fool me. They are just waiting."

Shepard and her friends would ride them and the first time that her father saw her hanging on as the shuima cut through the water, he could be heard screaming her name. "Eli! No! Get off that … dear Bacchus! Look at its teeth!"

Shepard and her friends had laughed until she saw that he was really terrified for her and she had quickly jumped off the shuima and swam towards her father on the bank. "Daddy, it's okay! Nothing bad happened. It's my friend."

Her mother had run out to their backyard after hearing the panic in her husband's voice and as Pierce walked shaking to the garage; Hannah made Shepard promise her that she would never do that in front of her father again. "I'm sorry, mama. The shuima is my friend … and its fun."

"Elizabeth, promise!" Hannah had repeated as she lifted her eight-year-old's chin up.

"Yes, mama." Shepard had pouted.

Hannah seeing the pout gave a smile laugh, "Now, now. Pick up that lip before you trip on it."

"Aw, mama," Shepard had said as she pulled away from her mother's hand.

Hannah pulled her daughter's face back up at her as she bent closer, "Don't you ever pull away from me, Elizabeth Whisper. I won't have that." Shepard looked up into her mother's dark green eyes pouting bigger as Hannah bent closer and kissed her on the lips. "Take that daughter."

As Shepard's mother kissed her again and again … The pout was gone and Shepard started to giggle, despite herself. She heard her mother laugh as she began to pull away, "I love you, mama," the little girl said as she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

"Of course you do, my Whisper," Hannah had smiled as she hugged her daughter back. "And I love you."

The memory made Shepard look down at the ground, down at the street that was once where her mother traveled on her way home. Here on this street at 2001 Verne Street was where she had been her happiest, her most secure and most loved. It was here that she had been loved not as a war hero or as a soldier, but as a daughter.

A tear escaped down her cheek, "Sweet Bacchus," Shepard grumbled as she wiped it away. "You are almost thirty years old … stop it." The wind pushed past her as if to move her on and Shepard pulled her jacket tight against it, wrapped her scarf around her neck ... "I'm going." Now as she looked down the street her breath caught as she saw her father's yellow 1943 Ford Jeep in the driveway. She took a deep breath as her heart raced at the sight but she refused to cry. She made her way slowly towards it, looking at the neighbors' houses as she passed them. Remembering who lived in each and which one housed a childhood friend as she slowly made her way towards her own home. As she reached her father's Jeep, she imagined his legs sticking out from under it. "Hey pops! The girl giving you trouble again?"

She imagined him rolling out from underneath it and smiling with grease on his face, "Shhh! No trouble. The gal just needs some lovin'. That's all."

"Well, you better not let mom know that you are out here feeling up another girl." Shepard laughed again as she imagined how he would make some comment about the preacher woman. Behind her dad's Jeep was her mother's 2170 Mercedes C-Class Sedan. Her father had given it to her on her last birthday and it had made her balk at the excess. But she had finally accepted his gift when he admitted that it had been sold to him on discount after he had done some electrical work for the dealership's owner. She had only driven it for a little over a month and a half … and then she was gone.

Shepard then moved to the porch where she saw a plaque to the left of the door that had the image of her and her parents taken from a 2169 photograph. Below it read;

**Home of Pierce and Hannah Shepard**

**2153 - 2170**

**Parents of Elizabeth W. Shepard, Alliance Soldier and Hero of the Skyllian Blitz**

The word _hero_ made her cringe. It always did. She didn't feel like a hero and remembering the Skyllian Blitz brought back all the pain, tears and death. While others glorified her … she knew the truth. She remembered the loss mixed with the hard decisions and the dark deeds. There was no glory either in her or what she had performed there, only fear and survival.

Standing on the porch she saw the place where her mother had died … the same swing that her parents had sat on especially during warm evenings. How many times did she bring ice tea out to her parents as they sat there chatting? Or the nights that she brought her guitar out and they would sing together. If her best friend Ricky Parks was there, he would clap and join in with his tone-deaf singing. It made her and her father laugh, but her mother would smile and encourage the boy, "Don't mind these two," she would say, "The Lord sees that you are singing from the heart, Richard. That is what counts … Nothing more."

"Thank you, Pastor Hannah." He would blush. Like everyone else, Ricky had a crush on Shepard's mom. Hannah had been a crowd-stopper in her youth and in her later years she was still a beautiful woman. Her beauty was the kind that could intimidate others around her, as if she wasn't real. But she never seemed to be aware of it. Now as Shepard found herself in the same position, she understood that her mother had to know. But that it was just easier to ignore the obvious looks of desire and move along. Shepard found being complimented on her looks was empty since she had nothing to do with it.

Once when a group of women at church were talking about how Shepard was growing into a beauty like her mother she had blushed. The compliments meant something because she was being compared to her mother but it also embarrassed her. There was no way that she would ever come close to being like her mother.

Hannah had overheard the conversation and walked over to the group of women who were surrounding the young fourteen year old. Hannah could see that Shepard was embarrassed and so she pulled her daughter close as she put her arm through hers, "Elizabeth is a pretty girl … with her father's smile."

Now that Shepard looked back on that moment she saw how even then with her mother focusing on her lips and away from everything else, that Hannah was trying to deflect the compliment away from her and towards her husband and daughter alone. The women agreed that Shepard's lips were beautiful and like her father's ... but they then pointed out that Shepard favored the pastor more … Shepard had her mother's eyes, facial structure, nose, high cheekbones, dark hair and slender build. Hannah looked at her daughter as the women went on about how beautiful Elizabeth Shepard was becoming and how sweet in nature as well and it had made the pastor smile at her as she brushed back Shepard's dark hair. As one of the women chimed in, "Oh, Pastor Hannah … She is your copy." Shepard could feel her face turn red.

"So she is," Hannah squeezed her daughter's arm. "But she is prettier than I was at her age."

It had made Shepard almost cry as her mother appeared proud of her in that moment. Granted, it was over her looks which she had no control, but she would take any type of positive attention from her mother. Later that evening, Hannah had pulled Shepard into the kitchen to help her clean up after dinner and as they washed the dishes together she had started one of her nightly routines of teaching her daughter. This was Pierce's cue to sneak out to the garage where he would have an after dinner cigar and drink. That night she was instructing their daughter on beauty … true beauty.

"Elizabeth," Hannah began as she handed Shepard a clean dish to dry, "the word says _Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price_. Do you understand?"

"I shouldn't plait my hair, wear gold or wear clothes … so it means to go about naked?" Shepard teased as she dried a dish.

Hannah gave a small smile as she flicked suds at her daughter, "Don't be smart with me."

"Sorry, mama," Shepard smiled back as she bumped against her mother. "It means that the outward person isn't what's important. It's what we have in our heart … that we should be kind and humble and gentle in spirit … because our inner beauty never fades, right?"

"How did I have such a smart child?" Hannah asked as she handed her daughter another dish. "No matter how others treat you because of your beauty … you must never let it give you license to be hateful, arrogant or selfish. You must know that people will fall in love with what you look like … be kind to them but do not accept that as true love."

"I won't," Shepard said, not sure what her mother meant.

"Physical beauty can be a curse if you put faith in it, Elizabeth ... Wait for someone who will love you for your mind," Hannah stopped washing and turned to look at her daughter, "Wait for someone who will love your spirit … someone who will hold you up in a place of honor but also demand goodness from you. Only someone who will see your goodness and ask that you be your best ... only someone who will inspire you to take a kind and honest path and not the easier more selfish and destructive one … only that person, will be right. Do you understand?"

Shepard looked at her mom, slightly confused, "Not really mama."

Hannah smiled as she went back to washing the dishes, "That's okay, baby. One day you will … and we will have this conversation again at that time." That follow-up conversation never happened but Shepard never forgot that talk. No longer a child, there was so much that Shepard wished that she could talk to her mother about, woman to woman. Questions that she had now that she was grown … but Hannah Shepard … her mother … the pastor … was gone.

One topic that she would have avoided though was her time in the Alliance. She had two more years left of service and she wasn't sure that she wanted to continue. It had gotten her no closer to finding Ricky, the reason that she had originally joined up, and she knew that her mother would have been so disappointed in her joining. This was on her mind as she sat down on the porch steps … her left foot on the second step and her right on the porch as she turned slightly to face the swing. This was where her mother and dad always sat in the evenings when life was not pressing them. "I'm twenty-nine, pops," Shepard quietly said. "Can you believe that? You would be soooo old." Shepard teased her father's empty seat.

She could see him tilting back his Gnats baseball cap and squinting at her, "Watch it Eli!"

As she laughed at the image in her head she heard the birds begin to chirp as the sky became a little brighter. "It's going to be a beautiful Mindoir day, dad … I'm glad that I got time away from the Alliance to visit you and mom. You two should come visit me on the Arcturus Station sometime … I just moved into a single bedroom apartment with a fireplace ... well, not an actual fireplace. But you would swear it was … looks like fire, sounds like fire and even has that oak burning smell and gives off heat if you want … It's my first apartment alone, dad ... but its small ... and I mean small. A closet really. But it seems spacious after being cramped on ships for six months … That can become pretty claustrophobic … So claustrophobic that ... don't tell anyone, but I'm wondering if I should leave once my contract is up."

Yes there were two years left on Shepard's service and she was struggling with what she should do. She felt all eyes on her when she stepped on a ship, as her reputation walked ahead of her. The pressure to be the war hero sometimes seemed a little too heavy and she just wanted to be a normal person. She wanted to meet some nice guy, get married and have kids … _You had Manny_. The words came at her hard. _Strong and handsome ... Manny_. So she wasn't in love with him. But she did care about him, she still did. And he had loved her, really loved her. But it was too late ... The last that she had heard of him was that he was doing well back in San Antonio where he had eventually married the mother of his child. A son. The other woman had given him a son. "You would have liked him, dad. He reminded me of you … he was good, caring and calm. I blew it there though … I left him alone and …" Shepard thought of the faceless bartenders, waiters and soldiers that she had slept with while away on assignments. "Dad, I hurt him ... I hurt a good man."

She sat on the porch for a half hour watching the birds in her mother's birdbath and a neighbor's dog running around in circles as he chased his own tail. It made her think of her dog Moonie who had been found dead next to her father's friend, Stu Aasen, at his home. Stu had agreed to watch the dog while Shepard and her father took Hannah back to Earth for burial. A trip the two never took together as a result of the raid on Mindoir. Shepard finally rose, walked over to the big picture window and looked in. She almost jumped when she saw the furnishings; the couch, her father's chair, the Gibson on its stand and … her mother's piano. The pain was sharp as the memories of her sitting there with her mother practicing … practicing … practicing … came rushing in. She then remembered a night that her mother had sat down and began playing _Fur Elise_ as her father read Mickey Spillane's _One Lonely Night_ silently in his chair. She had just returned from the library where she had studied ... okay, truth be told she had made out in a corner with her boyfriend, Tait Rickman. He was the most beautiful boy that she had ever seen and she was glad that he had been her first. The sound of his heavy breathing as she carefully guided him inside ... A young boy's words of love as he pushed deeper in her, his blond hair falling over his blue eyes. She had always wondered what would have happened if he had lived … if he hadn't tried to save her. If the raid had never happened.

As Shepard looked at the family photo over the fireplace she smiled. She had known that her dad's sisters Toni and Melanie had been working with the Mindoir Historical Society in preparing the home. They had flown out and went through the Shepard family items that had been in storage since 2170 and began placing them back in the house. Returning them home for a family that would never return … A house that was now to be a museum dedicated to the memory of Hannah and Pierce Shepard as much as Elizabeth, their daughter. That had been Shepard's only request, that her parents were given the place of honor above her name. She looked at the plaque again, ran her hand over the names of her parents and smiled.

She tried the front door knowing that it would locked and then went around the side of the house, running her hand against her mother's car as she made her way to the backyard where to her surprise, her mother's garden was thriving, _what the_- She thought to herself as a voice came from behind her, "Commander Shepard?"

Shepard turned to see a woman around her age smiling, "Yes?"

"I thought that was you," the woman smiled as she began pulling out the house keys. "I'm Gillian Freemont, I work with the Mindoir Historical Society … I came early to get the house ready for the ceremony."

"Oh," Shepard wished that she had more time to herself at the house.

"I thought that two hours should be enough time," Gillian said.

"Two hours?" Shepard looked at her watch and was surprised to see that she had been there for almost an hour, "oh … two hours."

Gillian Freemont smiled appearing a little embarrassed as she walked over to the garden, "I see that you found the garden."

"Yes," Shepard said focusing on the tomato plants. "How?"

"After the raid, this garden fed your neighbors that survived," She answered. "From that point on, it became a community goal to keep it thriving … you didn't know?"

Shepard thought of all the hours that she had spent with her mother getting their hands dirty, "No … but it is fitting. My mother would have been glad to know that her garden fed the hungry."

"Pastor Hannah was a good woman," Gillian nodded. "To be honest, she is the reason that I'm nervous. Not only is this my first project with the MHS … but everyone that knew her … respected her and I don't want to mess it up."

"You won't," Shepard couldn't help but smile at the woman's honesty. "But I might."

"You?" Gillian seemed surprised. "Commander Shepard, you could set the house on fire and everyone would just clap."

"Is that so?" Shepard laughed, "Everyone … but the neighbors and the ghost of my mother." Shepard responded as she bent down at a tomato plant. "Especially if the fire destroyed her tomato plants! My mother almost killed me over these once."

"Did she?" Gillian asked.

"Oh, yeah," Shepard laughed again as she pulled a tomato off the vine, "I was six and the tomatoes were ripe … red ripe. I took a bite out of every one of them. My mother swears …" Shepard stopped as she realized what she had said, "I mean … my mother swore that if my father had not been home that day, well … the life of Elizabeth Whisper Shepard would have ended in a garden patch. This very garden patch."

Both women laughed as Shepard stood and offered the tomato to Gillian, "No thank you. I would think that Pastor Hannah would want her thieving daughter to eat what she stole and not corrupt others."

"So true!" Shepard laughed harder as she bit into the tomato. "Ahhh, the spoils of war."

"I was just about to start setting up the podium and look through the home," Gillian explained as she began walking towards the front. Shepard stood still, frozen at the thought of going in the home with someone else seeing her, watching her reactions and Gillian stopped mid-step as if reading her mind.

"Commander," she said softly, "I can open the home and turn off the alarm for you if you would like. I just remembered that I haven't gotten coffee so … you could review the home while I get us both coffee and donuts?"

"That would be nice," Shepard almost gave a sigh of relief as she watched Gillian open the house, front door now open and then turn to go. "Ms. Freemont?"

Gillian stopped and turned, "Yes, Commander?"

"Thank you."

"No, Commander," Gillian answered. "Thank you for not letting them win. Thank you for honoring the dead … my family included."

"Your family?" Shepard stopped.

Gillian looked down at her hands, "Mindoir '70 … I was in my first year of college on Earth when the raid happened. My parents and baby brother were here when-"

Shepard could see the pain and understood, "Freemont? I don-"

"Freemont is my married name," she said as she looked up. "My parents were Lars and Alva Axelsson … my brother was-"

"Ewald?" Shepard couldn't believe that she hadn't made the connection ... She had grown up around the Axelsson family, attended each other's birthday parties and taken ballet together as children, "Gilly?"

"I guess that I don't look eighteen anymore?" She said with a smile.

"And I don't look sixteen," Shepard grinned. "How are you? How did you end up back here?"

"After my divorce from my first husband," Gillian began to reply but stopped as she thought of her first marriage, "Can you imagine what my mother would have said? Divorce!"

"Look at me," Shepard smiled, "Can you imagine what my mother would have said about me being in the Alliance?"

"Pastor Hannah would have been proud," Gillian said.

"No," Shepard smiled as she shook her head. "My mother would have been horrified and grounded me to this day."

"Is that why you said that you wouldn't wear your uniform at the opening?"

Shepard looked up at the house, front door open, "Yes. I can't imagine walking in my mother's home in uniform. Here or not, my mother wouldn't approve."

Gillian laughed, "So now I know what you are afraid of ... Pastor Hannah."

"You got me," Shepard squinted an eye, "That woman could bring down the wrath of God with just one look … so yes!"

"Oh, Shepard," Gillian laughed. "I can't imagine your mother ever raising her voice."

This caused Shepard to laugh out loud, "Gilly, trust me … I tried my mother's patience on more than one occasion. She didn't yell, really … but she had a look that caused the hair on my arm to stand up. You know that look."

"The mother look," Gillian said as she thought of her own mother. "Oh, yes. My mother had the gift as well … I just never saw Pastor Hannah upset or … or … she was always smiling and comforting to be around. Like she was this light that offered warmth."

Shepard felt that twinge of daughter's pride as Gillian spoke of her mother, "Yes, she was a light. A beautiful, strong and compassionate light that blessed my father and I. We were two lucky slobs … my dad always commented on how he had no right to be with someone so perfect. "

"Well," Gillian said pulling both out of the past, "You look just like her … and you inspire like she did."

Shepard could see that Gillian was being genuine and smiled, "Thank you."

"I should let you check the house while I get us coffee."

"And donuts!" Shepard added. "Don't forget."

"No bossing me," Gillian pretended to scowl, "I am older than you!"

As Gillian pulled away, Shepard slowly walked up the porch again and took a small breath before she entered the home of Pierce and Hannah Shepard. She couldn't help but touch the piano but avoided the keys … she had not played a piano since her mother's funeral and she wasn't planning on doing it now. She had vowed that she would never play again. But she ran her hand across the edges and then smiling at the couch she remembered the "talk" about that stupid asari site. Another memory that caused her to laugh and it felt good. Her aunt's had remembered the living room perfectly and it looked as if her parents were still there. She had to remember to thank them later that day when they arrived for the ceremony.

The house seemed smaller than she remembered … funny. She then made her way down the hallway looking in at the bathroom and guest bedroom. She then turned to check out her private little sanctuary and opened the door to her bedroom. There she saw her old aquarium, the stuffed Pepe Le Pew, her netbook that she had spent nights chatting with her pal, Ricky … and there was her guitar. She went over to her bed and laid down on it looking up at the ceiling. How many nights did she dream of seeing other places when she grew up … If only she could close her eyes and re-open them to 2169. How long she laid there she wasn't sure but she finally sat up and headed for her parents room. She walked to their bathroom looking in and seeing her parents' toiletries … _You two old women are amazing_, Shepard thought of her aunts staging of the house. A few items were missing and some items were in wrong places but overall it was just as she remembered their home. Shepard moved her mother's brush to her nightstand then headed back up to the room that she had avoided looking at … the kitchen. This was the heart of the house, where she had spent most of the time with her mother. It was where … Shepard stopped with her heart in her throat.

There on the kitchen table was not only her mother's netbook, a glass of tea prop and her mother's reading glasses … but her mother's Bible. She knew that it was hers because she would have recognized the Bible from a mile with its burgundy leather cover and her mother's handwritten notes. Shepard walked closer and saw that the book was opened to her mother's favorite scripture in Psalms, _He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler_. Shepard touched the writing of her mother next to it which read, _Cover my Whisper_.

Shepard lowered her head and wiped away an escaping tear, "Mother …"

"Elizabeth?" a voice cut through the quiet and Shepard looked up to see her Aunt Melanie.

"Aunt Mel-," Shepard started but then the tears came as her father's younger sister rushed to her and held her. She felt the dam about to explode and as she began to pull away and apologize, Melanie pulled her gently back to her.

"It's okay, Lil'bit," her aunt comforted. "There is no shame in crying over the loss … especially not here. Just let it go … you are safe."

_Safe_? Shepard wanted to feel safe but that feeling had eluded her since the batarian spread her open. The memory of that four-eyed foul smelling beast grunting while inside her had haunted her and the thought of others feeling that shame angered her. Between the grief and the anger she couldn't stop the tears and as she held on to her aunt she cried. She cried over the loss of her parents … her friends … her town. She cried for every innocent soul that had fallen prey to outsiders. It was in that moment that Shepard knew that she would never be able to go back to a normal life.


	3. Elasa and Venefirous

"A human," Tela Vasir mused as she watched a scantily clad asari walk by, "Interesting choice." Tela then looked over at her fellow SpecTRe and asked, "But why a human?"

The Flux had just recently been opened and it had been packed every night since. As Tela entered the club she was drawn to the dancefloor on her right. She liked the fact that the music playing was a mix of asari and quarian. She found turian music to be stiff and monotone while the volus music was repetitive percussion drivel. Looking around she saw that the majority of the patrons were asari, salarian and turian. Tela had seen two female humans that appeared to be working there and one male human on the dance floor with one of her kind. This made her roll her eyes and she turn quickly towards the mezzanine where she knew he was waiting.

Tela Vasir was not a fan of the humans and seeing her kind mix with them always left a sour taste in her mouth. It's not that she hated them; it's just that they were creatures with a strong sense of entitlement. They had just stepped into the galactic sandbox and were crying that they deserved the same rights and privileges that other species had long worked for. Not been given, like the humans wanted, but actually worked and sacrificed for. No, she would not say that she hated them … disliked would have been more fitting.

While on the Citadel turning in her latest report it had come to her attention that one of the SpecTRes that she respected had actually nominated one of them. It had piqued her curiosity and she had to understand why this human had gained his attention. So she logged on to the STR database, pulled the human's Alliance military files and after seeing a photo of the female on Elysium and reading about this EW Shepard she had to talk to him. Six hours later and she was at the club sitting down with him upstairs at a table located next to the casino. The spot was chosen not only because the music was a little muted here with the sounds of the quasar machines taking center stage but it also had mirrors in the ceiling set in such a way that the patrons sitting at the table could see who entered the club down below. The owner, a volus named Doran, was quick to comp the two SPecTRes their drinks and had instructed one of his waitresses named Jenna to make their table priority.

Nihlus Kryik was glad to spend time with Tela Vasir, a fellow agent who had a record for exposing corruption that had freed slaves, cleaned up corporations and more than once stopped potential wars. She appeared hard but Nihlus had seen her with her daughter and loved ones … She was the type of person that the agency needed. The SpecTRes were not there to stop crime exactly but to ensure galactic stability. Sometimes that meant leaving corruption as the status quo if unseating it could result in an instability that would encourage more jackals to descend. It took not just a mix of mind and heart to weed through it all but also the ability to subjugate the heart to the intellect when necessary. To determine the best course of action could not be trained, could not be placed in a textbook … the individual had to be born with the ability to see past the moment and focus on the ripple effect. Humans had not been considered to have that ability and the human candidates in the past had only strengthened that opinion with their failures.

Tela knew that Nihlus would tell her why he had picked the human based on the SpecTRes unspoken code of honesty amongst their own. They were completely forthright with each other unless it jeopardized a mission. After all, only they understood the lengths that they went to in order to protect the galaxy as a whole. "She shows great potential, Tela … and don't underestimate her kind. They have shown themselves to be resilient and able to assimilate when needed."

"I don't call painting themselves blue and shaving their heads assimilating," Tela scoffed. There had been a new movement among humans trying to look like the asari and this had been mocked within the asari circles as idiocy. Short-span humans thinking that if they looked like the asari it would somehow grant them the same wisdom and understanding. But those gifts were only attained through living for centuries. It was further proof to Tela that the humans wanted … wanted everything without understanding the labor or price that was truly required. These humans that were now blue and bald were called adites by the asari. While maidens found the adites toy-like, something to play with, the matrons found them offensive and the matriarchs found them beggarly. "If this human is an adite-"

"No, she is not blue," Nihlus cut her off, not realizing that his friend was teasing him. "But the Commander and you do share something."

Tela rose slightly in her seat, "And that would be?"

"According to my reports, like you … well, she is not too fond of your species." Nihlus answered her with a slight laugh.

"Or yours, if we are referring to the same report, Nihlus." Tela laughed back at him.

"But my species does not want to pleasure with her," he countered, using the asari term as a deeper jab. "It appears that she turns heads in your world. Would you like to see a Crystalis Resort vid of her in the club 'Invage'? If I were you … any asari really, it would be embarrassing."

"Do not think so highly of your species, turian," Tela said with annoyance. "Your kind is easily led by asari and if I remember correctly, her kind did not fall so easy. The Relay 314 Incident was not a win for your military if I remember correctly."

Nihlus laughed and put up his hands, "I surrender. But be warned that when you meet her you will want her."

"And be warned that when you meet her you will be meeting your master," Tela smirked at him then drank down her Elasa as she waved the waitress over, "Another Elasa for me … and Palaven Venefirous for my friend who has lost his intellect."

"Excuse me?" the waitress asked over the clanging of machines.

"Elasa and Venefirous," Tela repeated, waving her away.

"She will learn to trust us," Nihlus said as he took his friend's hand, "she just needs to spend time with us … Trust me."

"Nihlus, I hope that you know what you are doing," Tela shook her head. "A human and one from their weaker …. What do they call it? Sex?"

"Yes, sex." Nihlus answered as the waitress placed another tumbler of Palaven Venefirous in front of him. "She is unique … she is strong of mind and body."

"Hmm," Tela shook her head again as she waved the human waitress away, "the humans have no idea of what is lurking out here. They cry as their colonies get attacked by batarians, pissing in their pants …"

"Commander Shepard was just sixteen when her colony was attacked," Nihlus said in a more serious tone, "and she fought back, killing at least eight of the raider before being shot down. She neither cried, cowered or pissed in that moment … she fought back. She fought back until she was brought down … at sixteen Earth years."

"Sixteen?" Tela knew that at sixteen Shepard was still in the infant years of her species … She thought again of the picture of Shepard that had caught her attention. It was taken during the victory celebration on Elysium. While others in the picture were smiling, dancing and drinking the soldier with blood and dirt on her was looking off camera to her left. Hair pulled up and under a black beret, full lips turned slightly down, blood on her nose and right cheek. But these things Tela only noticed in passing. It was her eyes that caught Tela's attention. They had seen things that had darkened them … the human had been exposed to brutality and had not flinched. Just by the picture she knew why her kind found the woman attractive … Yes, part of the reason was physical but her eyes were the secret. In them, even in the photo, they showed a depth, a promise of strength, of power in her mind. "Sixteen, you say?"

Nihlus nodded as he took a drink, "Then there is Elysium."

"I read that report," Tela smiled, that picture rushing once again into her mind. "There are holes there … It was impressive, her actions, her use of resources. But I would venture a guess that she did more than they documented."

"Go on," Nihlus pushed.

Tela thought of Shepard's eyes, "Did you read some of the reports from the batarians?" Nihlus nodded a yes as he took a drink. "A great portion of their statement was edited out by the Alliance, obviously."

"Obviously," Nihlus repeated.

"But what they couldn't edit was the fear," Tela used her finger to stir her drink around; "Darker things would have been required to cause such fear … such hesitation in the enemy like that. Darker things then I read in those reports."

"Yes," Nihlus smiled. "The Councilor Tevos said the same thing to me in private."

Tela looked at the ice shift in her glass, "The Alliance has buried whatever _dark_ things were done there."

Nihlus nodded, "Buried out of concern that we would disapprove."

"Hmmph," Tela laughed. "These humans are so predictable."

Nihlus looked at the time, "Captain Anderson should be arriving soon."

Tela did not hear him as she continued to think of Shepard's eyes, "I would love to know what was left out of those reports … It might even make me desire her … but still, will she able to survive, as the humans would say, on our playing field?"

"Well," Nihlus sat forward as he began to confide how she had caught his attention in the first place, "Just last year she not only defeated General Lers Wrylhilm … but she survived battling me."

"You?" Tela was now confused. "You two battled?"

"On a mission that involved Admiral Carthaana," Nihlus answered. Tela moved closer to Nihlus as he began to tell her of that assignment and how she had found him injured. Had she not come along he probably would have died there. But she tended to his wounds, despite her distrust of his kind … but once he had a bit of strength back he had fought with her.

"So she saved you and you, in return, added to her distrust by trying to kill her?" Tela laughed.

Nihlus shook his head as he continued to describe their fight, how even with her shoulder blown open she had still cut him and … "her looks are deceiving, Tela. She appears fragile but she does not go down easy."

Tela was impressed by the humans ability to not only stand against Nihlus but to survive with her injuries, "So you are the one that put her in the hospital … Priceless." Tela in mid-laugh stopped, "But then … how are you going to train her if she-"

"She won't," he stopped her. "She never saw me without my helmet … Besides, I'm sure we all look alike to her."

"Yes. Ugly."

Nihlus looked at the clock again as he warned, "Careful asari."

"I'll give that she has seen a small portion of the struggles out there," Tela finally spoke. "But she has no idea how much darker the galaxy is. What really lies in wait out there or what it will require of her to survive … Nihlus, the choices she will have to make may be too much for a human. "

"True, but I will train her … guide her."

"Nihlus, are you sure letting a human into the agency is wise?" Tela looked down at her drink, thinking of her last assignment which required her to kill witnesses … innocent witnesses … innocent witnesses that were her own kind. Killed for salarian and human peace …To have let the witnesses live could have been the spark to a war between the salarian and human governments which the Council did not want. Her instructions had been to isolate and eliminate the situation before it was revealed to the public. So Tela had killed her own to keep the galaxy level. "Would she be able to silence voices … voices of her own kind … put another species ahead of her own in that moment? Would she understand that in doing that, she was saving more lives in the process?"

Nihlus and Tela both knew that there was no way of really knowing if she could until in that situation. Both SpecTRes sat in silence as each thought of the blood, the innocent blood, that was on their hands … but that had been to save that times ten. One for many. The last human candidate had failed at just that. He had risked the mission to save one human and that had been the nail in his coffin. The SpecTRe had ensured that he did not become one of them after that. _Saren_, Nihlus thought, _this will not make you happy_. "She has the potential but when do any of us know until that moment?"

"Nihlus, we must make the hard decisions and then follow through. No hesitation, no mercy … to keep the galaxy in balance we must at times silence the innocent with the guilty … our own innocent."

He remembered the body of General Lers Wrylhilm of the turian military and still could not believe that she had taken him down with just a knife. He had not only wondered if he could have been able to … Not just physically but because the General was a hero. A hero that would have been one of those casualties … He would have been part of the innocent witness category. He was there to find and then protect the Admiral and Nihlus would have had to kill him if they had crossed paths to ensure that his mission was successful. Kill his boyhood hero. Could Shepard do that? "Tela, she has the art, the focus and execution of a SpecTRe. Of that I am sure. She just needs to refine them … I can show her how."

"She may have the skills … but will she understand the math?" As she said those words Nihlus thought of Saren again. Saren had told him how the human had not understood that sometimes you had to sacrifice the life of one for a million. This was called SpecTRe mathematics … But when it was people and not numbers this "truth" was harder to follow and that is what separated this elite group from the others. They saw past that moment to the bigger picture. The human had made it easy for Saren to disqualify him.

Tela knew that Nihlus was neither foolish nor sentimental but she wondered if the human saving his life was clouding his judgment. He had never recommended anyone before and now he was putting his own reputation on the line for her. "Are you sure?

Nihlus thought of the human over him, helping him … he thought of the bodies she had left behind to get to him … her beaten and dying body he had left and yet she lived. She had survived. "Yes. This Commander Shepard has the promise of being a SpecTRe."

"Well, if she has your recommendation then she must be exceptional. What do you need from me?"

Nihlus shifted as he spied the Alliance Captain entering the club, "When the time comes I may need you to assist in her field training."

"You recommended her," Tela teased, "You train her."

"Tela, please."

"Why do you need me?" Tela asked, "Oh … does she have biotic ability?"

"No," Nihlus answered, "that is where your training comes in. She will need to know how to go one-on-one with natural biotics, not that cheap version the humans have."

"Now who is being critical?" Tela laughed. "The humans are coming along nicely in that area. Not as strong as asari but they are improving."

"Of course," Nihlus said.

Tela looked at the mirror and saw a human in an Alliance uniform looking around, "And what will you do for me in return?"

Nihlus stood as he said, "I'll sign your breastplate."

* * *

><p>Captain Anderson had a lot of questions for this SpecTRe and wished that they were meeting in an office instead of a club. This feeling was made even stronger as he saw a human male trying to dance provocatively with an asari on the dance floor. He shook his head at the male and then spotted a volus waving at him.<p>

"Are you Captain Anderson?" the volus asked, sounding out of breath.

"Yes." He answered, drowned out by the music.

"Good." The volus said as he took Anderson by the arm, "I am Doran and this is my club. The SpecTRes are up here waiting for you."

"SpecTRes?" Anderson stopped and pulled away. He had not expected to be outnumbered and was concerned that one of them might be Saren Arterius.

"Yes, yes," Doran answered frustrated at the human's hesitation as he pulled at his arm again. "Please, this way."

As Anderson and Doran made their way up to the mezzanine and the table became visible, he was relieved to see that the other SpecTRe wasn't Saren but an asari. Nihlus greeted the Captain with respect which did what it was meant to do, it put the Captain at ease, "Captain Anderson, a pleasure to meet you … I am Nihlus Kryik and this is a fellow SpecTRe, Tela Vasir."

Tela gave Anderson a smile that hid her displeasure of having to share drinks with him, "Captain." It wasn't so much that he was human, but that he was one of the humans who had failed becoming one of them. To fail was a greater dishonor than never trying out and those that had failed were looked down on as worthless to SpecTRes. Anderson, to Tela, was worthless.

As Jenna, the waitress, reappeared, Nihlus asked Anderson if he wanted a drink. Anderson looked at the two SpecTRes, knowing that he might have been one of them … having drinks with them as equals. But Saren Arterius had made sure that it didn't happen. The thought of that turian left his mouth sour and he ordered an Aberfeldy 21 to wash it out. "Please have a seat," Nihlus guided him to the seat where Anderson's back was facing the staircase. A placement that did not go unnoticed by him, it showed that Anderson was the lesser. "So Captain … you must have some questions."

* * *

><p>Two hours later found Anderson entering Chora's Den, a gentlemen's club not too far from his apartment. He sat at the bar and ordered an Aberfeldy 21 as he thought of Lieutenant Commander Elizabeth Shepard, his new XO. The reasons that Nihlus Kryik gave for nominating her while accurate, she was a woman of courage, resilience and based on her leadership at Elysium, a military tactician and strategist … these were not the real reasons. Or at least, not all of the reasons why he chose her and it bothered Anderson. When Nihlus spoke of her it was with an intimacy, as if he knew her. Anderson had seen the reports though; there was no mention of the turian ever being near the Commander. He had asked the turian if he had ever met the Lieutenant Commander, but Nihlus had said no. Why then did he sense that the turian did know her or at the very least had met her? Should he ask the Lieutenant?<p>

Anderson pulled up his ePad and looked at her service record again. Her photograph showed what an exceptional beauty she was, even with the scars over her right eye and chin. Anderson had also seen her financial records and her IQ test scores … Why would a woman financially independent, smart and gifted with her looks choose the Alliance instead? Why would she choose months cramped on a ship, hot-racking in sleeper pods … hell, the very limited habitability and privacy? Even with the advancement of women in the military, the percentage of females on a ship was still much lower than males and he worried that as the weeks, months rolled by she could become a distraction. He knew that what he was thinking wasn't fair to Shepard but facts were facts. A beautiful woman onboard a ship could be counterproductive to the job at hand. Yes, he knew that she had served on other ships and been very successful, but this was his ship.

His ship or not, the decision had been made by higher ranking Officers and so he took another big swallow of Aberfeldy 21. _Why are you out here, Lieutenant_? Anderson wondered looking at her picture. _What drives you?_

"Beautiful," a voice behind him said, "Is she your lover?"

Anderson turned around on his stool coming face-to-face with one of the asari strippers, "No."

The asari smiled, "Hmmm … Does she ever come to the Citadel?"

_Great_, Anderson thought. _Even her photograph attracts attention_. "I don't believe so."

"A shame ... I would have liked to meet her," the asari smiled and moved toward a turian patron.

Anderson slammed down his drink and motioned for another as he turned off the ePad.

He was going to get drunk … This evening with all the talk of Commander Shepard and SpecTRes had brought back memories of Kahlee Sanders, Jon Grissom and most of all Saren Arterius. The turian that had made sure that Anderson's SpecTRe candidacy was destroyed. Anderson had seen how Saren enjoyed killing and that he also carried a hatred for humans. Anderson should have been made a SpecTRe dammit!

_If we ever meet again you turian bastard!_ Anderson thought angrily as he slammed down another tumbler of scotch whiskey. _I should have been a SpecTRe! This turian better be on the up and up with the Lieutenant … or he'll have my boot up his ass! My time may have passed but she has been through enough, she will succeed and move humanity further._


	4. CCR & Blow Up Sheep

As Shepard dropped her bags inside her apartment she couldn't help but smile to be home and, more importantly, to sleep in her bed again. She had loved her time on Mindoir, being back in her childhood home and reconnecting with her parents through their personal belongings but it had been tiring wearing the "hero" title as she moved about town. No, that wasn't exactly true … being a hero was hard enough, but being a preacher's kid was harder. Being a preacher's kid meant that she was representing her mother and that responsibility had even more meaning to her than the Alliance or herself for that matter. She never wanted to do something that would somehow negatively impact or embarrass her mother's memory. She knew that her actions and deeds on or off Mindoir would always reflect on her parents to some degree, fair or not. But on Mindoir that fact was reflected in almost everyone and everything. Mindoir had been her parents' home and there were still people there that had known them … known her mother. The street where her mother's church still stood had been changed to Hannah Shepard Street and a plaque of remembrance to her had been placed on the Immanuel Baptist Church. But on the Arcturus Station it was different; she wasn't seen as the daughter of Pastor Hannah Shepard but the Alliance Commander EW Shepard. But being looked upon as a hero was a lighter burden to her then being the Pastor's kid around those who had known her mother.

Shepard took her carry-on bag and placed it on the kitchen counter where she then turned on the light over the stove. As she began removing the bags of tomatoes, bell peppers, onions and radishes that she had picked from her mother's garden her smile grew. She looked over at the photograph of her mother and her taken by her dad in the spring of 2163 …Hannah on her knees in the garden with her yellow oversized hat on holding up dirty hands, palms out, and Shepard next to her doing the same thing with a front tooth missing. Shepard grinned at the memory of that day as she took a tomato and placed it under her nose. The memory of her mother telling her that a tomato tastes just like it smells came back in a rush, "Tomatoes are honest … If they have no smell, then they are telling you that they have no taste. How they smell is how they taste, remember that Elizabeth."

Shepard placed the tomato back on the counter, went to her media station and put on NovaGrecia's version of Akdhat's 'EtZev'. She lit a few candles and contemplated taking a nice hot shower. "First, get the coffee on!" Shepard said out loud. As she took out the coffee beans from the freezer to grind them she closed her eyes and took a deep breath … _This is so relaxi-_

Shepard's thoughts were stopped as the sound of "Suzie Q" by CCR came thumping through the wall. Shepard opened her eyes slightly startled, looked at her watch and frowned. The apartment next to hers had been on the market for months but as the music came spilling into her place she knew that it was no longer vacant. Not the way that she would have liked to be informed but there it was. "Great," Shepard said to herself. Deciding to try and ignore the sound she continued making her coffee and just as she slid the carafe under the filter tray the music seemed to get louder. CCR was now drowning out NovaGrecia and as the guitar riff started up the music was turned up four more notches.

"Really?" Shepard asked looking at the wall where the picture of her parents rattled in protest and her 'Pride and Prejudice' hardback fell over on a shelf below it. "Oh, for Pete's sake!" Shepard went out into the hallway where the music was even louder and started to knock on the neighbor's door.

"Welcome home, Shepard," Mr. Kramer, her elderly neighbor across the way called out from his slightly opened front door. "Did you just return from your holiday?"

"Good evening, Mr. Kramer," Shepard smiled as she stood in front of the door to apartment M14. "Yes, they called me back early. I have to report for duty on Monday."

Mr. Kramer was a retired art teacher who watched after Shepard's apartment while she was away, watering her plants and feeding her two Illium Skald fish, Odysseus and Penelope. "I saw the vid on you speaking at your childhood home. Impressive."

"Impressive that I was speaking or that I had a childhood?" Shepard teased him.

"Impressive that you held up," he wagged his finger and then said seriously, "It must have been a little bittersweet."

"Bittersweet." Shepard said softly. "But it was good to be home, to see my parents' things … yet weird that I wasn't told to wipe my feet before entering the house after being out in the garden."

"Garden?" Shepard knew that would catch his attention as he opened the door a little wider.

"Yes, garden," She responded, "I brought some fresh vegetables home as well."

The door was opened a little wider, "What did you bring?"

Shepard put her hand on her hip as she smirked, "Is that why you love me? Vegetables?"

"Well, not just any vegetables ... Real _Garden _vegetables," Mr. Kramer clarified as he over enunciated the word garden.

"I see," Shepard laughed, "Fine. I know how you love radishes; sooo ... just wait until you taste the ones from my mother's garden."

"You are a doll! I just made my walnut oil and cider vinegar Vinaigrette," he said excitedly, "Why don't you come over for dinner? Bring the radishes."

"Give me an hour or so," Shepard smiled. "But first …"

Mr. Kramer shook his head, "Shepard, I wouldn't do that."

Shepard looked at him as she knocked on the door, "Has this become the norm while I've been gone?"

"Since he moved in," he answered with a frown. "I asked him once to turn it-"

Just then the door to M14 began to open, Kramer in M15 slammed his door shut and Shepard turned to face a scruffy guy in a stained N7 CoH t-shirt as a male voice behind him yelled out, "If they don't have pizza or tits tell them to scuttle away!"

"Yes?" The scruff asked with a sloppy, slighly embarrassed smile.

"Do you live here?" Shepard asked and when the guy shook his head no, motioning toward the living room, she moved past him, a lava lamp sitting on a milk carton crate, framed posters of 'The Matrix' and 'Blade Runner' leaning against the entrance wall, six empty pizza boxes laying gutted of its contents and left on the kitchen counter, a few bowls with left-over ramen hardened in the sink and empty bottles of Duvel beer scattered around. In one of the two oversized lay-Z-boy chairs sat another scruffy guy in a t-shirt with the pulp book cover of Myth Master on it, wearing a gaming head set, controller in hand and N7 Code of Honor: Medal of Duty playing on his video screen.

"You think you got me, bitch?" he called out as he continued to look at the screen and gun down turians. Next to his seat was a half empty beer, a jar of Skippy peanut butter with half a Hershey's bar sticking in it and all around his chair, stray popcorn.

"Excuse me!" Shepard yelled over the Reticulating Splines' 'Hard Boiled' now blaring.

"Look, I said if you do-" seeing a beautiful woman standing over him stopped the seated scruff in his tracks.

"Are you the new tenant here?" Shepard asked as she focused on not pulling her new neighbor out of his chair and telling him if he valued his life he would never play music again in the apartment. And as if testing her control, the scruff who had answered the door had followed her into the living room and was now mouthing '_Holy shit_!' behind her as his hands cupped air to suggest her breasts and then moved them lower near her ass. Shepard had seen his suggestive moves in the reflection of a mirror leaning against a carton. _Lord,_ g_ive me strength_, Shepard prayed as she took a breath. _Or I'm going to kill these two idiots_.

The seated scruff began to try and get up but Shepard could see that he was struggling. _Too drunk to get up, ass?_ She had thought to herself in response to his unsteady movements. He appeared slightly frustrated as he fell back down and then said to his friend harshly, "Wang … turn off the music!"

"Sure thing, Joker" Shepard watched as Wang went to the Bose station and turned it off, leaving a much welcome silence. Wang, wiping his hands on his t-shirt looked at Shepard and smiled, "Do you want a beer, sweetheart? We got plenty."

"I bet you do," Shepard said coldly as she looked away from him, fighting the urge to rip the t-shirt with N7 off his body and looked instead around the apartment. There were unpacked boxes scattered around along with Bongo drums, two figurines (Snoopy as the Red Baron atop his doghouse figurine and Persephone from the Matrix), a case of Beaver Extra Hot Horseradish, a carton of Whoppers turned on its side on the coffee table with some of the chocolate covered milk balls escaping, a pair of Nike's and crutches. That is where Shepard's eyes stopped … crutches. She then saw a wheelchair in the corner buried beneath a leather flight jacket, an oversized pillow with the Alliance emblem on it, top hat, Monopoly game, a couple vids (Matrix, Starless, Rodin vs Metagodzilla, Vaenia), two Fornax magazines, a packet of Trojans, box of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, The Reticulating Splines t-shirt and a book by Keith Miller titled The Book of Flying.

"Uh, didn't realize the music was so loud," Joker said as he took off his gaming headset and ran his hand over his head. "You know .. killin' … well … loud work. Good headset knocks out … never mind."

Shepard spotted an Alliance field manual and turned back to face him, "Just keep it down if you don't mind … This is my first day home after three weeks and watching my pictures and anything attached to our shared wall falling to the floor isn't how I want to spend it."

"Sure," Joker answered as he once again tried getting up again. Shepard turned away, picking up the Alliance manual as a way of letting him stand without her seeing his struggle. On the front cover she read the words Flight Lt. Jeff Moreau. That name was familiar. "So you are my neighbor in M16?"

"That's correct," Shepard answered as the cover of the vid Vaenia caught her attention. As she went to pick it up she heard a crashing sound behind her. She acted as if she had not heard and as she looked closer at the cover of the two women she gave a small smirk, _some guys and their girl on girl_. Manny had never been into that. He liked … Shepard forced her mind to come back to the present, "May I ask when you moved in?"

"I …."Joker grunted as he finally stood up, "I moved in a week … week?" he looked at his friend for confirmation.

"Week?" Wang repeated, "Yeah … yeah. Last Saturday? And it's… uh."

"Thursday," Shepard said as she turned around. "So are you new to the Arcturus Station?"

"Me?" Wang asked with a grin. "No … I"

"I've lived here since I was a kid," Joker began. "My mom is a civilian contractor at -"

"He just moved out of his mom's place," Wang explained.

"Utshay upway aboutway ymay ommay," Joker unsuccessfully tried to say to his friend so that Shepard did not understand. Shepard fought back laughter as she realized that she was starting to like this guy despite her initial desire to kill him. He was an ass ... but a funny ass.

"And you?" Wang asked as he tried looking manly, pushing out his chest. "Where are you from? What is your name? Do you need someone to cuddle with?"

_You, however, I still might kill before I leave this place_, Shepard thought as she ignored his questions and pointed to the Alliance manual, "So are you interested in the Alliance?"

"Interested?" Wang scoffed, "He is in the Alliance."

Shepard looked at the video game of an N7 ducked behind a rock paused, then at the crutches and with a slight smile asked, "In real life or on-screen?"

"I am part of the SSV Normandy SR-1 crew," Joker said, pulling himself up even taller at the mention of the frigate as he added; "Which just so happens to be the best damn Alliance Starship there is."

"Really?" Shepard wanted to laugh at her luck of having one of her crew move next door to her. How small the galaxy seemed at times. Then the thought of his friend also being in the crew, months stuck on a ship with both? She reluctantly asked, "Are you both in the Alliance?"

"Me? In the Alliance? Hell no! I'm in IT at the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB," Wang answered, "Only Joker is Alliance … he is one of the pilots."

"I'm not just a pilot," Joker said as he slowly limped to the kitchen counter and took a seat on a barstool there, "I am the best damn helmsman there is."

"Are you an N7 as well?" Shepard asked as she looked at the screen.

"No. I think that you have to be homicidal as well as have a stick up your ass …" Joker said, "Not that I'd tell them that … I'm just sayin' … you sure you don't want a beer?"

Shepard smiled and curious about her new pilot sat on the barstool next to him, "Sure."

"Really?" Joker was surprised that this woman would spend time there and he suddenly realized how messy the place was. "I just have Duvel beer … and pizza … not that …"

"A beer is fine," Shepard answered as she watched Wang go to the fridge and Joker get up and using the counter as a support walk around to the kitchen side. As he began putting the empty beer bottles in the glass receptacle he looked at the empty pizza boxes, gave a disgusted look and whispered something to Wang. Shepard turned and saw that Joker's bedroom door was open and at the foot of the bed on the floor was a blow up sheep with a sign, "Welcome to your new place! Be a Baaaaad boy!" tacked over his bed. Now Shepard really fought off laughing as she shook her head.

After Wang gave her the beer he grabbed the boxes and headed for the apartments trash chute at the end of the hall. That left Shepard alone with her pilot. She wanted to ask him what was physically wrong with him but she knew that it would be in his file. A file of many that was in her apartment stored in her netbook and waiting to be reviewed. As they both drank their beers the sound of the game in pause was the only noise in the room. Shepard looked back at the bongos, "So how long have you played the bongos?"

"How did … oh," Joker saw the bongos half exposed beneath a pair of bermuda shorts, _Just shoot me_, "I started playing them when I was thirteen. You play an instrument?"

"I use to." Shepard smiled. "I was tortured with piano lessons from the age of five."

"I have keyboards … ugh," Joker looked around his living room and at the wall of boxes against the far wall still needing to be opened, " … well, let's forget that."

Shepard looked at the wall, "Just take it one box at a time."

"He's leavin' that for me," Wang said as he returned into the living room. "He's scheduled to fly out on Wednesday so his mom and I are going to unpack him while he is gone."

Joker groaned at the mention of his mother again and as Shepard stood up; his humiliation nose-dived as he saw the gag gift of the sheep visible. _Oh, no. no, no, no_. "Wang, utshay ymay edroombay oorday."

"What?" Wang looked confused.

"Oorday, oorday!" Joker said motioning to the door with his head.

As Joker had his panic attack, Shepard finished her beer as she thought about what she had just heard. She had received her orders to report to a Captain David Anderson on Monday but she had not been informed of anything except that her ship assignment was the SSV Normandy SR-1. "Did they say how long you would be gone?"

Joker shook his head no as he took a drink of beer. "We were told we had another month of training," he said, wiping his mouth. "But it looks like the plans were changed because this morning we not only were told that we were doing a shakedown run to Eden Prime but that we had some hero joining us. Unless he found a planet with nothing but women ... oh, wait."

"Eden Prime?" Shepard wasn't sure why they would pick that destination. "Why Eden Prime?"

"Probably produces a brandy that some Admiral likes," Joker sarcastically answered. "Not that I'm trying to start any rumors."

"Well, I hope that you survive your battle," Shepard said looking at the game paused, "But I have to get unpacked."

"Why don't you come meet some of Joker's friends for drinks tomorrow night?" Wang asked as Shepard headed to the door. "Joker, where is some of your friends meeting?"

"Aircraft 1512," he answered, "But it's really not a place that a woman like … uh, it's dirty. Not friendly really. Big ugly men."

Shepard knew the club ... it was owned by a retired Alliance officer and packed nightly with Alliance personnel. She was curious about her new crew and this might be an opportunity to break the ice but she would have to sleep on it. Now that it was possible that she had even less time home, she had a lot to do. As she was about to leave she turned to Joker, "Joker, be nice to Mr. Kramer in M15 … okay? He is a nice man and I would hate to hear that you were not at least civil with him."

"Sure," Joker said as he leaned against the wall. "Can I ask your name?"

"Shepard," she smiled. _Shit, she saw the sheep_. Joker's head dropped. _Shepherd .. sheep. Nice jab_. _I think I might love you_.

As the door closed, Wang looked at Joker, "I'll keep her company while you are gone."

"Like that would happen," Joker grumbled as he carefully went back to his Lay-Z-Boy. Looking at the N7 soldier on the screen he absentmindedly turned the headset around in his hand. "I hope she isn't a reporter."

"Was that classified what you said?" Wang asked as he sat in the other chair and opened a bag of Doritos. "Ohway, anmay ouyay areway uckedfay."

Joker looked down at his legs; beautiful women always made him feel less than a man. A feeling that he hated, hated just as much as people pitying him. At least when he flew, no one could even compare to him. In the pilot's seat he could be the hero, the strongest one. The one who could save the day. "She's probably got a boyfriend, anyway."

"Yeh … me!" Wang said as he took a swig of beer then burped.

But as Joker ignored his friend, looking at his legs … he knew that his disease was the least of his problem with his neighbor. "She saw the sheep," Joker slapped his palm to his forehead. "How do I … what the … she must think-"

"Shepherd," Wang thought. "Wouldn't that be a shepherdess?"

Joker glared at his friend, "Does it really matter? She saw the blow-up ... the ..." Joker frustrated, arms flailing, had no words left for what he felt.

"Yep, f-u-c-k-e-d!" Wang finished for him.


	5. Therum Letters

"Dr. T'Soni?" Deek'Lo called out as he walked quickly down the hallway of Residence-A1 where Dr. Liara T'Soni's living quarters were located. This building, simply called R-A1, housed the scientists and engineers only. Deek'Lo, housed in R-A3, was the salarian responsible for not only the support staff that worked in the excavation site but also the service crews dealing with the kitchen, maintenance and housekeeping. It required him to be constantly on the move as he juggled countless schedules, directed the staff both on the dig site and the living quarters and ensure that both tools and necessities were managed so that the community moved along without the site stopping due to material shortages or bellies going empty.

During the two years that he had been stationed there he had found only one person that he liked spending time with … Dr. Liara T'Soni. She had arrived almost a year prior and they shared not only a love for skyball but elious. So on their off days, the two would either catch a skyball game or carry their elious kits and find a place perfect for painting. Dr. T'Soni, as he always called her, not only had an eye for locations but also could determine when it was at its most glorious. It was a gift in his opinion. They had both just completed their last canvas pieces and he had loved hers so much that she had given it to him. In return he had given his to her which now hung on the wall behind her couch. A fact that not only made him smile but something he loved to brag about to the others.

The team had started vacating the planet for the two-month holiday when the temperatures on Therum would fluctuate between 51C and 58C. For the past week, the port had been extremely busy with loading and departures … The final shuttle was at the port ready to leave and it was delayed as the crew and passengers waited on just one individual who was nowhere to be seen. Deek'Lo had grumbled as he was forced to leave the cool air conditioned shuttle and exit to the 49.2C mixed with extreme humidity dock.

Now in the air-conditioned R-A1 building he was much cooler and as he knocked on Dr. T'Soni's door there was no response. He sighed as he tried the door which opened to reveal her luggage on the floor next to the couch. "Dr. T'Soni?" he called out as he entered the small suite. The main room contained a white couch against the left wall, a flat screen monitor on the opposite wall, glass coffee-table with a sheet containing the Serrice Delphinus Skyball team roster and game schedule between the couch and the monitor, a door leading to her bedroom and bathroom, which contained a toilet, sink and shower. There was no kitchen in the unit as the team used a common kitchen and dining room in building Community-1. The speakers on the far wall of the room had the soft sound of Beethoven's Bagatelle No. 25 in A minor playing and Deek'Lo hummed along as he moved toward that wall which not only contained a speaker in each corner but a window looking out at the hills. A desk was located under the window which contained a half empty cup of sitruuna, open netbook, a silver bracelet with a cross, a frame that rotated images which at the moment showed the Matriarch Benezia, a prothean bowl unearthed on Therum and a pad that showed the console of their latest find as sketched by the doctor. Deek'Lo shook his head realizing where she had gone and in that realization knew that it meant suffering the heat inside the cavern where he now had to go to get her.

"Dr. T'Soni," he shook his head as he went to leave her quarters.

* * *

><p>The young scientist ran her hand over the console carefully as she mentally tried to determine what type of prothean device she was looking at. The console had been waiting for thousands of years in silence, hidden away … waiting to be found. The research team had completed their studies of the last level and had moved forward, carefully using their mining equipment to push through and open up the next level in PRT-2183. This section was to be excavated when the team returned to a slightly cooler, if that word could be used, planet.<p>

Liara had awakened just a few hours earlier, taken a shower, finished packing her things, made a small pot of sitruuna and then sat down to compose yet another letter to her mother. She had not heard from the Matriarch in years and she was once again reaching out. She knew that she was only going to displease her mother more by writing again but she needed to hear from her. She had placed the cross between her lips as her brows furrowed and she thought of what she should say this time.

The years that she had not been allowed to be in her mother's presence had been dark times for her. She had tried to keep busy, to focus on other things ... But Benezia was the most important thing in her life and the thought of reliving those years struck fear in her. She did not want to be denied her mother's presence, to not hear her voice, to not have the Matriarch look at her and say words of favor or to have her mother open her arms for an embrace. She not only missed her mother's presence, her words, her laugh, her beauty … she was also afraid that she had done something again to displease her mother. After being accepted back home, she had been very careful to get approval for everything that she did, even when her mother had said it was not needed. Every purchase, every job and even Eveline Dellis had to be approved or Liara would not have made the purchase, accepted the position or continued to see Evie.

Now with her mother removed from her, she had started to turn to her mother's sister for advice and direction. She could see that sometimes her Theia was unsure and her answers were not always as carefully explained as the Matriarchs but Liara wanted to ensure that when her mother returned she could see that Liara was a good daughter. That Liara valued wisdom and did nothing out of haste.

After reaching out to her mother numerous times and receiving no response she had taken a chance reaching out to her mother's younger sister, Tatiaria, in letter and that had not ended well.

_Dear Theia, _

_Thank you so much for the shipment of sitruuna and the Thessian bath oils but they could not compare to the gentle words that you carefully crafted with your hand. I am always honored when you take the time and send me words of comfort. This was made even more special as your daughter had also sent me a case of __Sokolatí sweets from Illium. You and Sibila have pampered me and I am very __appreciative__ as to knowing that I am unworthy of both your favors. _

_Yes, I have remembered to pray to the Goddess Athame and the teachings of Matriarch Nephele are kept by my bed and read every evening. I had asked mother to send me her last writings but I have yet to receive a response. I think about mother as I spend my first hour performing positions of Anskrit and pray for her well-being._

_I have not heard from Mother these past few years despite my letters and voice messages. Have you heard from her? Do you know what it is that has kept her presence from me? Have I disappointed her again? My spirit is heavy at her silence and I wish to be in her grace again._

_With kind thoughts,_

_Liara_

The response came two weeks later:

_Dearest Liara,_

_I was caught with joy at the painting you sent me and it is now placed in my bedroom above the vase of __liatris__. You have always been thoughtful and I am honored by your gift. The colors and presentation are wonderful and when you are once again home we must share our thoughts on it as we have sitruuna together. How I miss having you and Sibila here on Thessia creating laughter and water marks all through my home. Poor __Antonina must__ comfort me during those moments as I find water on my cheeks._

_The Matriarch sent me a copy of her writings on the meditations of Athame as well as the last writings that she released for public study. You will find them in the container with the undergarments that you requested from the designer V__enustas, who sends her regards. She hopes that you will be pleased with her next seasons line as well. _

_The Matriarch is fine and wants to send you her deepest affections. She is unable to contact you because she is working on a project that requires all of her attention. __But the Matriarch has assured me that she will be home soon. As is always, you are in her thoughts above all else._

_Focus on your duties there and think not of your mother's silence. You have not disappointed her and it is her wish to be with you again. Please be safe, stay hydrated and make sure that you get plenty of rest. I know how you can get so focused on your work that you will not eat or get the proper amount of sleep. Being tired and hungry can leave you open to accidents. Enough of my mothering, dear one, just be careful and come home soon._

_Fondest thoughts,_

_Theia Tatiaria T'Soni_

Upon receiving the response, Liara frowned at her aunt's response and even though she knew that she had already overstepped her place when she discussed the Matriarch's silence towards her she refused to stop there. She quickly drafted another letter and sent it to her aunt, questioning why her mother could not spare at least a few minutes on her and the response was swift.

_Liara,_

_You have forgotten your place. While your mother and I may be more lenient with our daughters, neither of you must ever forget your place. If the Matriarch has not returned communication with you then it is your duty to wait quietly. It is both inappropriate and disrespectful to share your mother's silence with anyone, myself included. You know that._

_Should I worry that you fail to behave properly and may lead your cousin down this path as well? Are you going to make me consider forbidding you to see or speak with Sibila in order to protect her from this type of ill-behavior? _

_Do not disrespect the Matriarch again! Do not disappoint me again! _

_Wait in silence and be a good dutiful daughter._

_Theia Tatiaria T'Soni_

* * *

><p>Tatiaria had stood in front of the serenity wall shortly after she had written her cold and threatening response. It had pained her to rebuke Liara and that pain was even deeper as she used Sibila to drive the point home. The T'Soni's were a respected name on Thessia and that made them even more bound to the asari customs and practices. Both Benezia and Tatiaria had grown up under the weight of their ancestor, Justicar Cerelia ... not to mention the T'Soni legacy and each had hoped that they could ease that burden from their daughters. But Benezia had always been gifted and beautiful … when she spoke people were drawn to her and in the end; she had placed an even heavier burden on her daughter. Tatiaria saw that others were already looking at Liara to walk in her mother's footsteps of spiritual leader and it had made the child start to withdraw from outsiders. Benezia tried to protect her and encourage her to find her own path, allowing Liara more freedom than normal in their society.<p>

Tatiaria understood Liara's struggle with Benezia's silence as she was struggling herself. The matriarch had not contacted her in over a year outside of communications in reagrd to business. In those moments she was always reserved, withdrawn and she never asked about their daughters. Tatiaria knew that something had gone terribly wrong but when she had pushed her sister to confide in her, to tell her what was going on, the Matriarch had rebuked her questioning her. Her sister's harsh response had left her despondent for a few weeks until her partner of 222 years, Antonina Delana, had her go to the temple of Athame for prayers and meditation. After a week, Tatiaria had emerged refreshed, calm and hopeful that her sister would be home safe and sound. She had started performing prayers for athegis as she did her morning Anskrit.

"Tati," Delana had interrupted her thoughts, "Why don't you confide with the Matriarch Livia?"

Tatiaria looked at her partner with horror, "Antonina! I cannot discuss this with anyone without Benez-"

"Tati,"she stopped her, "based on what you told me … there is something wrong. Benezia would never treat you or the water beasts this way … not without cause."

"Not without cause," Tatiaria said softly._ Not without cause_, she repeated in her mind,_ that's it, sister is trying to protect us. I must trust her_. "Thank you, my pleasure." Tatiaria smiled as she placed her arms around her partner's neck. "Benezia must have a reason and I need to trust her."

"Not what I meant," Delana frowned, but as Tatiaria began kissing her she put the conversation to the side.

* * *

><p>"Dr. T'Soni?" Deek'Lo grumbled as he saw her standing at the console and a barrier between them. "What have you done?"<p>

"Isn't this wonderful?" She grinned as she walked to him … or as close as she could with the barrier dividing them. "This is a prothean barrier. At first I thought it could be a trap, but no. It's just an everyday common defense mechanism."

"Wonderful," he groused. "Can we leave now?"

"What?" Liara asked as she began to walk back to the console.

"Leave?" he repeated. "The shuttle is ready."

"Leave?" She looked confused as she began to flip switches. "I think it is …" Deek'Lo watched her as she began flipping switches and turning knobs, "now if I turn …" more activity, Liara frowning, the barrier getting thicker, Liara shaking her head, barrier moving two feet farther out.

"Dr. do you know what you are doing?" Deek'Lo asked concerned as the barrier shifted, moved and changed colors.

"Of course," Liara said a little frazzled as she bit her bottom lip, furrowed brow deeper and turned another knob.

The barrier began racing towards Deek'Lo who went running and screaming. In his panic he started sliding towards the edge and just as the barrier stopped, Deek'Lo slid off the ledge. "No, no, no!" he heard Dr. T'Soni saying to herself.

"Doctor!" she heard him holler as he held on the ledge with one hand.

"Oh, oh … Deek!" she panicked and hit another knob causing the barrier to move four feet the other way and chasing her to the other side of the console. "Oh, by the goddess!" If the barrier had moved just one more foot it would have trapped her on the other side where another barrier had just popped up. "Hold on Deek!"

"Dr. T'Soni!" she heard him cry out, "I'm slipping!"

Liara took a deep breath and then carefully began turning a knob as she flipped two switches. The barriers dropped and Liara ran to help Deek'Lo up. "I'm so sorry!"

"No, it's completely my fault," he said as he wiped off the dirt from his clothes. "I panicked when that blue-y thing came at me. Silly of me. It wouldn't have hurt me. Right?"

"So, what did you come here for?" Liara asked as she tried avoiding the question.

"It wouldn't have hurt me, right?" Deek'Lo asked again, rubbing his arm. Liara turned around and began running her hand under the console as she pretended to be busy. "Doctor?"

"Odd that there would be this kind of defense here," she said as she got on her knees and looked under the console. "Interesting, no?"

"No." he answered as he wiped dirt off his cheek. "Are you ready to leave now, Doctor?"

Liara frowned and as she stood up answered, "Deek, this level has great possibilities. I can't just leave it … you go on ahead."

"What?" Deek'Lo dropped his mouth.

Liara continued looking at the console as she answered, "There is enough provisions and more to last these next two months … I just can't leave not knowing all the secrets waiting here to be revealed. Go on ahead without me."

"But Doctor," Deek'Lo argued, "You won't have any support or security. There are pirates out here and what happens if something goes wrong?"

"What could go wrong?" Liara asked looking innocent as she leaned back against the console. The barrier appeared on the other side of them and they both looked at it and then at each other.

"Wrong?" Deek'Lo was amazed at her ability to ask that question after what just happened.

"I'm fine," Liara said as she began guiding him on to the elevator. "When you return in two months you will find me here with wonderful treasures!"

"Wonderful treasures stuck in that blue-y liquid," he snapped back. "Just don't get caught in that thing! There won't be anyone here to save you!"

"Me? Caught in that thing?" Liara said as if that was the silliest thing she had ever heard, "Now why would I get caught in that? You worry too much! Now go and enjoy your time away."

"Just be careful!" Deek'Lo said, worried for his friend.

"Don't worry, Deek! I will be fine!" Liara smiled as she moved him into the elevator.


	6. Docking Bay 94

Captain David Anderson had just returned to Docking Bay 94, after having a quick breakfast at the Avenue Diner, and now he stood looking at his state-of-the-art frigate and thinking how beautiful she was. _You are one lucky SOB_, he thought to himself, _all these years and this is what it comes to … she belongs to you_. Well, maybe that wasn't completely accurate … she belonged to the Alliance, but he was given authority over her and personally handpicked her crew, well handpicked all except one that is. The SSV Normandy SR-1 appeared to be suspended in air if you overlooked the loading and boarding bridges attached along with numerous hoses running under her. Anderson saw that at the moment spices, coffee and sugar containers were being loaded onto her as the Operations Chief, Monica Negulesco, ensured that the next load containing canned goods being pulled up matched both its packing slip and bill of lading.

There were groups of personnel opting out of breakfast in the mess and heading to the diner or McDonald's. As the minutes ticked away, life on the dock was starting to pick up with shipments coming in and the crew not already on duty coming to life. The majority of the crew was already living on board with the rest either a residence of the Arcturus Station or temporarily staying at a local hotel. Anderson, a residence on the Citadel, had himself already started living aboard the Normandy and rarely ventured too far from the DB94 outside of the mandatory Alliance meetings, occasional drinks at the Officer's Club and dinner meals at the local Avenue Diner.

The Normandy in just two days' time was scheduled to depart from the Arcturus station and travel to Eden Prime, officially as a shake-down run while unofficially it was to retrieve a Prothean beacon that had been unearthed two months earlier. The farming colony was in the middle of expanding when a crew stumbled upon a prothean ruin that contained the beacon. They were clearing paths to extend the monorail system when they made the discovery … a discovery that was being touted as the biggest scientific discovery of the century. The local scientists were called out and the discovery of the beacon had resulted in a staff of scientists setting up base there to study it. The team, headed by Dr. Warren, after a month of intense study could not determine what it was designed for so a meeting was held with top officials in the Alliance and the decision was made to notify the Citadel Council. They had hoped that they could do this on their own but after struggling they had to admit that they were still too inexperienced with this type of technology and would need help. Alien help. So they reached out to the Council and presented their finding, shaving off a month so that the Council would not know that humanity had tried withholding the discovery from them. Just shortly before they notified the Council, two Alliance marine units were sent to secure and guard it as a precaution.

Following the decision by the Alliance brass and the Citadel Council to move the beacon to the Citadel for further studies, Captain Anderson had been contacted and briefed. The Normandy was to retrieve the artifact under the guise of a shake-down run, with the truth of the mission on a very strict need-to-know basis. The Normandy would have left for Eden Prime that very Monday morning, but Anderson was instructed to wait for the SpecTRe Nihlus Kryik to arrive. He was set to arrive from the Citadel that Tuesday evening so the departure was scheduled for Wednesday 06:00. The SpecTRe was to be present not only to ensure that the beacon was delivered to the agreed upon location but to also start the evaluation and field training of Commander E. W. Shepard.

So here stood … Captain Anderson on the dock, a steaming cup of coffee in hand, looking at his ship an hour and thirty before his new executive officer was scheduled to arrive. The hot coffee cup felt good against his hands in the frigid docking area as he continued to watch the activities around him … the workers loading provisions, his off-duty crew that lived onboard slowly starting to spill out and he even saw across the way a shapely blond waitress arriving at the Avenue Diner. He had asked her out once but she had declined, saying that she was already seeing someone. "She was too young for you anyway," he consoled himself out loud as he watched her adjust her uniform before entering the diner.

He had awakened extra early this morning just so he could perform a walk-through before Commander Shepard arrived. He had to laugh at how he was acting as if he was the junior officer … but after looking back through this young woman's Alliance records he respected her. She had suffered things that he could only imagine and those dark moments had not crippled her but had made her stronger. She could have done so many other things and yet she chose the Alliance, chose to live confined on ships for months, to defend humanity. He was sure that if her parents had lived they would be very proud of her.

That was not to say he was no longer concerned about her looks or wondered how she would fit in with his hand-picked crew. But her record showed a woman who understood discipline and self-sacrifice. As he walked closer to his ship he couldn't help but smile as he thought how Shepard was probably at this very moment fighting off nerves over meeting him. It wasn't ego but a fact that with his military record and position he made others nervous in his presence … well, everyone except his helmsman, Flight Lt. Moreau. The pilot had the most impressive scores and he was one of the easiest picks based on resume … But from their first meeting Anderson had wanted to reject the pilot who he found to be disagreeable, sarcastic and arrogant just for starters. He changed his mind when he saw in the simulation exercises that the pilot's record and test scores did not exaggerate his abilities but actually did not do the pilot's skills justice. Anderson was impressed with Lt. Moreau's skills but still wished that the pilot wasn't so abrasive and cocky.

"Captain Anderson?" he heard a female inquire from behind him.

As he turned around, there she stood in front of him in her dress blues, at attention and more beautiful than her photographs. Standing this close to her he could see just how green her eyes were … eyes that hid the horrors she had seen. In that instance the images of Mindoir came rushing to his mind and he thought of this woman at sixteen being pushed like cattle by the batarians, witnessing the brutality that not only resulted in the loss of her parents but her innocence. Anderson knew that once you had taken a life, and Shepard had taken more than one during the raid on Mindoir, that you were forever changed. Thinking of her past, a child driven to murder … all he could do was nod an affirmative.

She appeared to not notice his hesitation and as she saluted said, "Lieutenant Commander Elizabeth Shepard reporting to the commanding officer as directed."

Anderson returned the salute and as she dropped her hand he looked around to see that the dock workers and Normandy personnel were stopped and looking at his new Executive Officer. She seemed completely unaware of the impact she had on people around her and it began to make him uncomfortable seeing the dock stopped. "It's like one of those Twilight Zone episodes," he had said more to himself.

"Sir?" Shepard asked.

He had never met a woman, or man for that matter, who had this kind of presence and as he turned back to her he realized that he had not even heard her walk up earlier. _Must be getting old_, he said to himself. "Good morning, Commander Shepard."

* * *

><p>The Devlins 'Love Is Blindness' played softly in the hotel room with the acoustic guitar and violin floating passed the perfectly made bed, passed the nightstand that had the hardbound book of the Dalai Lama's 'The Art Of Happiness'laid on top of it and passed the bottle of Maxalt-MLT opened with four tablets placed next to a pad that had '<em>Sleep my handsome prince, XOXO Grace<em>'. The hotel guest had awoken to find the other side of the bed empty and a migraine coming on … so he got up, turned on his iMuse, made his bed, spent the next twenty on his morning yoga routine, took a hot shower, shaved and was now rubbing herbal aftershave cream on his face when the phone began to sound.

He turned down the music, already at a soft low level, before punching the speaker on the phone, "Hello?"

"Kaidan, she's here," the voice of NFO Silas Crosby announced excited but also slightly muffled.

"Who?" Kaidan's head was starting to pound despite the yoga and soft breathing exercises, so with a slight scowl he crossed the room, grabbed the four tablets and swallowed them. He hated taking medication, admitting defeat to his body … but today he had to be at his best. "Who's there?" he asked as he looked at the note that Grace had left while he slept. He had met Grace at the Avenue Diner, where she waitressed, and even though he was not into casual relationships it had been so long since he had touched a woman and Grace was easy to be with. She had made him laugh and feel like a man. A seductive combination to start but even harder to resist when one was lonely. She could be demure even in bed, which he liked because it mirrored him ... But even after last night's release, he awoke to the start of a migraine.

"Commander Shepard," Silas answered a little more clearly. "The Captain is showing her around the Normandy this very moment!"

Kaidan looked at his watch … 04:43 blinking back at him. He swallowed hard, "She's there already?"

"Yes, sir!" came the quick response. "She's been here about … oh, fifteen …. No, twenty minutes. I think I'm in love!"

Kaidan ignored the last comment and pulled the towel from around his waist and started drying his hair with it. He had seen the pictures and he had known women like her. Well, not as attractive but close and they thought highly of themselves. He was not looking forward to meeting the Commander, between her looks and achievements he was expecting an alpha prima donna female that would be self-absorbed, aggressive and very high-maintenance. "Where is she now?"

As he picked up his bottle of Victorinox Swiss Army cologne, he could hear Silas pull the phone from his mouth, ask someone where she was, followed by a mumbled response and then, "She is in the medical lab with Dr. Chakwas … the Captain has just left her there and went to his cabin. I think she is getting a check-up … oh, man. I wish I was there when she took off her-"

"Okay, okay!" Kaidan cut him off, "Back to your station."

"Aye, aye," Silas answered.

As Kaidan went to disconnect he stopped, "Oh … Silas?"

"Yes?" a faint response was heard.

"Thanks!" With that, Kaidan disconnected.

* * *

><p>Joker rubbed his beard as he sat up still half-asleep and clumsily moved to the side of the bed. As his feet slowly moved over the side he looked at his clock blinking 04:44 and knew that he had to get in the shower quickly. He had promised Kaidan he would meet him for a quick breakfast at the Avenue Diner by 05:15, swearing that he would not be late again. He grabbed a crutch and moved to his living room turning on his media center. He looked at his music library and slid his finger over Toad and the Wet Sprockets hitting 'Pray Your Gods'. He thought of his neighbor next door and turned the music down a tad, not wanting to disturb her again and then went to take a shower.<p>

He had seen her twice since their initial meeting and both times she had smiled and asked how he was. He had heard her laughing once as he was about to take out his trash ... she was in the hallway with their neighbor in M15; it had made his heart jump a little and he watched her from his slightly ajar door. He loved her smile and her laugh … For once, he hated that he was heading out to fly. Heading out for an undetermined time and he wanted to punch Wang in the face every time his friend made some joke about "keeping her company" while he was gone. He had never felt this way about a woman … not ever. In the shower he looked at his legs and then ribs as he used his arms for support on the rail. The warm water splashed against his face as he closed his eyes and cursed his bones. His mind quickly went to the one place where he felt whole. Flying. _If only she could see me fly_, he thought as he lowered his head under the shower spout.

As he grabbed the bar of Irish Spring he heard his phone ringing, "Shitnips!"

He carefully got out of the shower, grabbed a towel and limped to the phone that had a young Elvis swiveling with each ring. "What?" he grumbled as he pulled the receiver to his face.

"Joker," Kaidan answered, "I can't meet you for breakfast."

"Are you shacked up with that blonde waitress?" Joker asked.

"What?"

"That flirty waitress," he responded, "Ginger, no … Barbara … wait-"

"Joker," Kaidan cut in, "That's not why I'm cancelling. Commander Shepard has already arrived on the Normandy."

"Who?"

Kaidan could be heard sighing, "… Commander Shepard. Don't you ever listen to anything the Captain announces?"

"Yes," Joker answered, as he shook his head no.

"Really?" Kaidan came back. "I bet you don't even listen to me"

Joker still shaking his head no grumbled, "I listen, I listen."

"Then what did I just say?" Kaidan challenged.

"The N7 hero dude that will make my life miserable ... he is now on my ship," Joker shot back.

"He?" Kaidan sounded frustrated. "He is a she … not … one day Joker this not listening to the Captain will come back to haunt you."

Joker, dripping water on his carpet, picked up his latest copy of Fornax and started thumbing through it as Kaidan rambled on, "huh uh … haunt me … gotcha"

Kaidan hearing Joker's disinterest, gave in with a sigh and an "Okay, Joker … See you on the Normandy."

"Just keep him off my bridge," Joker said as Kaidan hung up. "Is that a hanar with a … now that is disturbing." With that Joker dropped the magazine on the deflated sheep and carefully headed back to the shower.

* * *

><p>"You're in excellent shape, Commander." Dr. Chakwas pronounced as she handed her datapad to one of her assistance.<p>

Shepard, still seated on a biobed and in the process of buttoning up her shirt, responded, "You sound surprised, doctor."

"After a review of your medical history," Dr. Chakwas explained, while she keyed data into the Alliance Medical DataBase, "the grocery list of injuries … the many times that you appeared to cheat death … I was expecting you to be wheeled in here."

Shepard gave a small laugh, "I should have been."

"But you weren't," Chakwas said in almost a stern voice as she walked over to Shepard, "That says a lot about your character."

"My character?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow, "As in?"

"As in … it says to me that you, Commander, are determined, fierce and quite stubborn." Chakwas said, still without a hint of humor. "Should I be concerned that you will be keeping me busy?"

Shepard shook her head, "I am not battle hungry nor do I encourage foolish acts of supposed bravery if that is what you are concerned about."

"So I have nothing to worry about?" Chakwas raised a brow. "You aren't going to keep my dance card full?"

"I can't promise to not keep you busy, doctor." Shepard said softly. "I seem to be at the wrong place at the wrong time more than I care. If I could change that …"

Chakwas took Shepard by the arm softly and said, "No, Commander. I have known some of the young men and women that benefitted from your 'wrong place, wrong time' luck … Elysium comes to mind. I was there after it was secured and you ensured that we had people left to bandage … to save. You have been where you needed to be and generations of children will exist because of you. I just wondered if you were a risk taker for the thrill or-"

Shepard looked at Chakwas' hand, "I did what was required … Nothing more."

"Of course, Commander," Chakwas said, liking this young woman more and more as the minutes passed. "But what you did during the Blitz wa-"

"I did what anyone else would have done … there was nothing special about me or my actions." Shepard stopped her, now looking down at her own hands.

"Nothing special?" Chakwas let Shepard's arm go and gave her a slight pat on her upper arm, "I applaud your modesty … but I question your assessment of others. The average soul does not do what you did. Of that I'm certain, Commander." Shepard would have argued that others in her position would have had no choice when the sound of a whistle interrupted her … "Yes?" Chakwas said as she pushed a button on her desk.

"Doctor? Corporal Jenkins requesting entry," came the response over the speaker.

Chakwas, a romantic at heart, had set her entry chime to the very old-fashioned and no longer used Boatswain's Call ... She looked at Shepard and seeing her fully dressed nodded to her assistant to unlock the med bay door. "Come in, Corporal."

As the young man, red at the cheeks, entered he stopped as he saw Shepard stand up and face him. He saluted at once, "Good morning, Commander!" he almost shouted. "I'm Corporal Richard Jenkins ... It's an honor to-"

"Corporal," Shepard saluted back as she cut him off. She could see that the Marine was still slightly green, very excited and about to heap praise on her. Praise that she never felt worthy to receive … Praise that her mother would have quickly discouraged. Her mind went back to her first piano recital at the age of eight and after hearing everyone praise her performance she had developed a slight case of self-importance. While her father thought it was "cute", her mother stopped the "cute" in its track with a stern talking that ended with Shepard spending a weekend writing a thousand word essay on what Proverbs 11:2 meant. Some may have thought her mother could be a little too stern with her at times … but here, years later and even with her mother gone over thirteen years … she could feel her presence, feel her mother looking at her with love in her eyes and saying softly, "Elizabeth, remember … When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom. You are a good girl, not haughty or prideful." _I try, mother_, Shepard thought to herself. _But I'm afraid I fail too often to be that person you wanted me to be_.

"I-I … I'm sorry to interrupt," the young soldier fumbled out as he continued to look at Shepard, "I have a … uh … a slight nose … er, ear ache."

"One minute, Corporal," Chakwas said as she turned to Shepard.

"Do you need anything else from me, doctor?" Shepard asked, ignoring Jenkin's apparent fib and stare.

"That's all," Chakwas answered as she held back a laugh at Jenkin's face which was turning even redder as he continued to look at Shepard. "Maybe we can have dinner together in the near future to discuss life in the Alliance."

"That would be nice," Shepard smiled as she tucked her hat under her left arm. "In fact, if you aren't busy this evening ... I am having a small get together for dinner at my place. It's just a few civilians that I invited to help me finish off some fresh vegetables before our departure."

"Fresh vegetables, you say?" Chakwas stopped and gave a slight inhale as her eyes closed, "I haven't had fresh anything for quite a while. Where and at what time?"

Shepard smiled, "Dinner is at 19:00 hour, casual dress … but a bottle of libations is required for entry."

"This dinner is sounding even more inviting," Chakwas laughed. "I have just the libations! Now where do you live?"

"You have my address on file, don't you?" Shepard asked looking back at the monitor.

"File … oh, of course." Chakwas laughed, "It appears that at the mention of fresh vegetables my mind loses all senses and becomes slightly slow and forgetful."

"Understandable," Shepard smiled. "What I wouldn't do for fresh tomatoes, avocados and real beef when they aren't available could be considered obscene."

Jenkins blush came back full force at the word obscene and as Shepard walked out, his eyes continued to follow her. "Corporal?" Chakwas called as his attention was still focused on the closing door. "Corporal!" Chakwas raised her voice, which startled him.

"Uh … I," Jenkings mumbled as he turned to face the doctor.

Chakwas opened a drawer and pulled out an otoscope and as she came towards him, "Which ear?"

"Ear?" Jenkins said, confused.

"Yes," Chakwas was now biting down as she fought laughing, "Which ear has the … ache?"

"Oh," Jenkins blush moved down his chest, "the middle."

"Of course," Chakwas shook her head as she turned his head to the right and put the otoscope in.


	7. Dharwad Pedha & Goat Cheese

It was another beautiful evening on Eden Prime as the Marines came marching back into their makeshift camp after a full day spent patrolling the outskirts. While the 232 were given the task of keeping the scientists and the beacon secure, the 212 had been shuttled off to secure the outside perimeters … away from the main colony.

The Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams slipped into her tent, grabbed her toiletries, a towel and a change of clothes before heading to the showers. One thing about Eden Prime was the showers were a step up from her last assignment. There the showers were made of plywood and built to resemble small stalls that required you to take a container of water ... So there you were with cold water and taking a whore's bath at best. Here it was more like showers after gym in high school with no real privacy but it had running water … hot water even!

As she stepped under the shower head and felt the hot water dance on her skin she could hear guys starting to hoot and holler. She looked over at the window where a couple of her squad was peering in and making obscene gestures. "Fuck off!" she hollered back as she flipped her fingers under her chin towards the idiots.

"I swear, they need to get curtains over this peephole window," Service Chief Krisia Nowicki said as she stepped into the shower with a ragged towel. As she placed it over the window the guys could be heard groaning and booing. "Ya! Ya! Go circle jerk somewhere!"

"A curtain? I'd prefer land mines at the foot of the window," Ashley replied as she squeezed Organik Brazilian Therapy Shampoo into her hand. She then lifted her palm to her nose to smell the coconut scent, "Thank you, Lynn." She knew that her mother and sisters spoiled her with the constant care packages she received. The packages not only contained sensible items but also sweets ... Ashley was a self-admitted sweet eater with a weakness for anything made with honey. A container of honey had been in the last package and she couldn't wait to open it after this patrol duty was over.

As she began to lather the shampoo into her hair she couldn't help but wonder if her transfer request to the SSV Kilimanjaro had been approved. She had not given up hope … not yet. She did not want to believe that she would be given backwater assignments her entire career … she couldn't believe that.

"Who brought the towel?" Private Nirali Bhatia asked as she stepped next to Ashley wearing a bathrobe still.

"That would be Kris," Ashley smiled, eyes closed and head under the running water.

"My husband thanks you," Nirali said as she removed her robe and then took the bottle of shampoo from Ashley. "My next package from Samesh will have Sunsilk. You will like it."

"Is he also sending more Dharwad pedha?" Ashley asked as she opened her eyes.

Kris laughed, "You and those sweets! I swear Ash … if you lived near an Indian bakery you would weigh over two hundred pounds!"

"Look, just because you defended my honor, "Ash said in mock anger as she motioned towards the towel, "Does not give you the right to criticize my eating habits!"

"Oh my," Nirali said with a slight frown, "my husband would not be pleased to know that he is causing you two to fight."

"Are you kidding?" Kris laughed as she began soaping up, "Any man would love to know that he had naked, wet women fighting ov-"

"Stop, Kris," Ashley laughed. "You're embarrassing Nirali."

"Thank you, Chief Williams," She said as she turned away from Kris.

"I'm sorry, Nirali," Kris said as she turned and mouthed _I keep forgetting_, "I'll behave."

"That's okay," Nirali answered as she kept her back to Kris.

Ashley liked Nirali and although they did not share the same beliefs with Nirali being Hindu and Ash a Nazarene they both were believers and that at times resulted in others making fun of them. After serving in the same unit now for over a year, they had slowly influenced one another as well … Ashley was learning yoga and Indian cuisine, she had even learned how to make pesarattu which she loved. Nirali was reading Lord Alfred Tennyson's poetry with "The Lotos-Eaters" currently her favorite and she was also learning needlepoint. She was working on a cushion cover with Cape Lilies. These were her husband's favorite and she couldn't wait to present it to him when she went home for the holiday. It had been hard leaving him and their two children, but this was their chance to open that restaurant they had always dreamed of. She had days that the separation from her family was too deep and it was always Ashley who was there to comfort, encourage and put her back on track.

Hours later, after dinner and a review of where the next day's patrol would be … Ashley headed to her tent. Nirali arrived shortly afterward bringing her needlepoint and as they worked on their cushion covers they listened to Lata Mangeshkar sing _Aayega Aanewala / Naina Barse Rhim Jhim_ as her voice mixed with the night sounds of Eden Prime. As Ash worked on the pink rose tapestry cushion for her sister, Abby, she prayed that her transfer request would be approved. That her family's name wouldn't keep holding her back … that she might prove herself, that she might take away the disgrace from her family. She would not give up hope.

* * *

><p>The Normandy had a completely different feel to Kaidan as he entered and walked towards the Combat Information Center (CIC). The crew seemed to be focused on the person that was talking with Chief Navigator Pressly and not at their duties which made him clear his throat. This caused a small stir as the personnel went back to their duties, but not before Kaidan heard NFO Silas Crosby whisper, "Remember, she's my girlfriend."<p>

Kaidan shook his head as he continued on towards her and as he was within just a few feet, Pressly saw him and said, "Lieutenant Alenko, you are here early."

"Yes, I thought-" his throat dried up as Commander Shepard turned around to face him. Without realizing it, he found himself standing at full height, saluting and saying "Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko … welcome aboard, ma'am." It seemed forever before she returned the salute and he wasn't sure of what he said after that because his mind went blank ... as if he was caught in some kind of dream. As he watched her walk away with Pressly to the other side of the room, Kaidan tried remembering anything but her face … her eyes had slammed into him and when she spoke her lips held a promise. He had seen this type of moment in films and read about them in books but that was make believe, not real life. Or at least that is what he had always believed. Now if he could just remember what he had said to her … did he look foolish? With each moment of angst his head began to pound. _What just happened?_

As Pressly turned away from Shepard to speak with one of the crew, she looked over at Alenko who was still standing in the same spot ... as if frozen. It made her smile as he stood there half-mumbling to himself, unaware that she was watching or that he was mumbling. She could see his desire for her within seconds of their meeting and as he spoke she sensed that he was not a duplicitous man but very open, honest and transparent. That was one gift she inherited from her mother, the ability to read people. When he spoke she was pleased to find his voice soft to the ears and the way he halted in speech made her smile. Now as he rubbed the back of his neck, she wished that he was closer so she could smell his cologne again. Cologne that she thought fit him perfectly. It was a masculine scent of citrus, lavender and wood blended together and as she looked at him she thought of Manny … the Lieutenant was built like him and even had his dark looks although his skin was much lighter. If she had met him in a bar she would have been very tempted to seduce him … but this wasn't a bar and he was serving on the same ship as her. _That's the way it goes_, Shepard thought to herself as she watched him walk away. _You can't have all the potato chips_.

"So, is the LFX still scheduled today?" Joker asked as he lowered himself into his seat.

Flight Officer Talitha Draven nodded, "At 09:00 … the targets are being set up on the other side of Themis."

"I hope they make this exercise more difficult than the last," Joker grumbled as he tried getting comfortable in his seat, "The last tests could have been passed by even you."

"Less than five minutes," Talitha squished her face at him.

"What?" Joker put his hands up, "I'm just saying …"

"And I'm just saying," Talitha said getting up from her chair, "It took you less than five minutes here to make me want to punch you! How do you do that?"

"Focus," Joker answered as he readjusted his hat. "A little focus ... and an easy target."

"Yeah, well … focus you!" she shot back as she flipped him off.

"I see at least this area hasn't changed," Kaidan laughed as he walked up behind Joker.

"You mean, Commander Shepard?" Talitha asked as Kaidan nodded his head. "It's funny, everywhere she goes the room feels electric. Did you hear what she did during the Blitz?"

"Held off the enemy forces for over a week," Kaidan said as he adjusted his belt. "Looking at her it seems impossible ... I mean she is too -"

"Electricity … Blitz," Joker mumbled as he began checking the readings of the Normandy, "As long as that N7 keeps his ass off my bridge we will get along."

Silence.

"I mean it!" Joker said more firmly, "He comes near me and I'll put my boot up his ass ... N7 this!"

Silence.

Joker, still bent over his console, half-whispered, "We're not alone, are we?"

Silence.

"I don't want to look up, do I?"

Silence.

"I should just stay here … right?"

As Joker lowered in his seat, pulling his cap over his face and staying bent over the console he heard Kaidan clear his throat and say, "Commander Shepard, this is Flight Officer Talitha Draven and Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau."

"It is such an honor to meet you, Commander Shepard." Joker heard Talitha say. _Kiss ass_, he thought.

"Thank you, Officer Draven," a very familiar voice answered ... a very familiar female voice.

Joker slowly rose up and as he turned around his stomach became knots as he heard himself say, "Commander Sheep … no, Sheepuhherd er …er"

Kaidan and Talitha were looking at him wide-eyed; mouths opened as the Commander stood over him, her arms folded as she stared down at him with no expression on her face.

"Joker," Kaidan went to stop him but was silenced as the Commander held up her right hand.

Shepard looking down at Joker commanded, "Proceed."

Joker taking a deep breath continued his downward spiral, "I mean … Shep-ard-er. Sh-Sheepard. I .. I too am ... qui ...te hono- no, I'm ... just gonna w-waait here for ... for the ... nosebleed."

Shepard stepped closer to Joker, turned to Kaidan and said, "I understand that we are scheduled for a live fire exercise today."

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan answered pulling his eyes away from her lips. "We are scheduled for an LFX at 09:00."

"Perfect," Shepard smiled. "Lieutenant Moreau …" at the sound of his name, Joker jerked up and his cap flew off his head landing at her feet. Shepard looked down at his cap which contained a very erotic picture of an asari and female human nude together stuck inside his cap. As all four looked down at the cap and the exposed picture of the asari pleasuring the human a small embarrassed groan came from Joker.

Kaidan kicked the cap away from Shepard and stood in between her and Joker, "You were saying, Commander?"

Shepard looked over at the cap, remembered the night that her parents had the "talk" with her … They had thought that she was attracted to the species because her best friend had used her netbook to look at the site As Ari Ass. How uncomfortable her father had been and the look on her mother's face was priceless when she had said, "They'll sleep with anything … and I mean anything! So Ricky figures he has a chance with them, since no human girl would touch him. I tell him that he'll have blue babies but he doesn't care. But hey, they might as well match his blue balls … oh, sorry momma."

"Commander?" Kaidan asked again as Joker pulled on his jacket.

"Make her forget," Joker whispered in desperation as he held on to Kaidan's jacket ... "Obi-wan her ... you can do it."

Kaidan pulled his jacket away from Joker as he looked at Shepard, "You were saying?"

Shepard, the memory of that night still on her mind, smiled as she looked over at Joker, "Lieutenant Moreau, I would like to see how you pilot this ship. Please arrange to have a place for me at 09:00 hours."

"Yes, ma'am," he responded as he silently wished that he could fall into a black hole. Here he had dreamt of showing M16 his abilities ... He had wanted her to see him fly. Now he just wanted to hide and hope that she would develop some type of amnesia that took the past ten minutes away.

"Commander, has anyone shown you your stateroom?" Kaidan asked, trying to change the focus from Joker who could be heard mumbling to himself the words _Jedi, Obi-wan, forget, sheep, M16_.

"Not as of yet," Shepard smiled. "Would you mind showing me?"

"I would be honored, Commander." He smiled.

As the two exited the area, Joker looked at Talitha and slouching down in his seat said, "Just shoot me now."

"So who are the gals?" Talitha laughed as Joker dropped his head even lower.

* * *

><p>"You are joking," Michelle Edgar laughed as she pulled down two wine glasses. "He kept a risqué photo in his cap?"<p>

"Yes," Shepard laughed as she thinly sliced the zucchini, "As I looked at the picture at my feet, it took everything I had to not laugh out loud."

"Were they hot?" Michelle asked as she held up the bottle of Pinot Noir and cork screw.

Shepard looked at her, motioned for her to open the bottle and as she smiled, said ... "They didn't hold a candle to you."

"I'm sure," Michelle laughed as she began to open the bottle.

"So when did you get back to the station?" Shepard asked as she continued slicing.

Michelle told Shepard that the SSV Madrid had docked two days prior and that she would have come to see her straightaway but she thought that Shepard was still on vacation. Shepard then explained how she was contacted about the Normandy, her trip to Mindoir ... along with updates on their mutual friends. This was something that Shepard enjoyed, being with her long-time friend and former bootcamp buddy, as she cooked in her kitchen. It would have been even better if her family and other friends were there but she was always grateful for what she received ... Michelle had put on her favorite singer of the past, Alison Moyet and now the song _Whispering Your Name_ was playing as Shepard stood over zucchini, radishes, olive oil, sherry vinegar, garlic chives, mint, mustard, pepper and sea salt. The chicken was in the oven roasting and the potatoes boiling as the minutes pulled closer to the guests arriving.

As Michelle finished pouring the wine she handed a full glass to Shepard who eyed the amount, "You do realize that I have a meal to cook."

"It's just one glass," Michelle retorted.

"Well, you will have to drive me home," Shepard gave a slight smile as they clinked glasses.

"You are home," Michelle pulled closer and after they shared a soft kiss they took a drink of the wine, "Missed you girlfriend."

"Of course you missed me," Shepard teased, biting her bottom lip and then taking another sip.

"Don't do that thing," Michelle frowned. "I hate when you do that thing."

"What thing?" Shepard smiled as she kept the rim of the glass pressed against her bottom lip.

Michelle laughed and took a piece of zucchini, "God I love you!"

"I love you too." Shepard responded in a more serious tone making Michelle look at her, "I'm glad you are in my life, friend."

"Don't get all serious on me," Michelle moved away from the kitchen and looked at the picture of Shepard's parents. "God, you really do look like your mother."

Shepard back to preparing the roasted zucchini and radishes dish looked up at her mother, "You should have met her … she was so much more beautiful than I am. And if I could be half the person she was … She was perfect."

The dinner party kept creeping closer with Shepard carefully timing her dishes despite the pressure … She knew that this crunch was all her fault … Everyone had wanted to meet the Commander and share their connection to her no matter how small. Some told her they knew someone on Elysium or was part of the fleet that arrived or knew someone on the fleet that arrived or knew someone she served with or knew someone who knew someone who served with her and so on. She had grown used to people needing to connect to her, to that image of her they had in their minds and so she had allowed each and every one of them their moment. This ability to wait on people, listen to them, make them feel special was cultivated at a very young age. Growing up the preacher's kid, she had stood next to her mother after every service for hours and watched her mother do this very thing … and so she began to emulate her. She emulated until it became a real part of her person and she found that she was truly interested in what others had to say. She found that in just being present with others, really listening like her mother did … not only made people feel special, made them feel heard … it was a very fulfilling thing.

Shepard shared with Michelle her day, how she was impressed with the Normandy, the crew and the Captain. They both laughed as she talked about the exercise which had gone well but not without the pilot, Joker, flexing his flying muscles as she sat next to him. She had caught his sideway glances and she knew that he was dying to talk to her … but every time he tried to talk something went horribly wrong ... If she had taken a shot of Tuaca after every slip of the word _sheep_ she would have been drunk by the day's end. And then she mentioned Kaidan.

"Reminds you of Manny, huh?" Michelle shook her head. "That bastard cheated on you."

"Yes, after I cheated on him how many times?" Shepard countered as she washed off the radishes, looking over at the chicken in the oven. "I was the reason we failed, not him."

"Yeh, well … you didn't knock anyone up," Michelle grabbed another piece of zucchini.

"I can't knock-", Shepard seeing yet another piece of zucchini leave the paper towel, grabbed her paring knife and threatened, "You take one more … just one more and you are losing digits!"

"You are threatening me with a small paring knife?" Michelle growled as she stood up and raised her fists. "Just try it girlfriend … I'll show you what a real woman can do."

Just as Michelle began bouncing around the kitchen, fists held up to her face and Shepard laughing, the doorbell chimed.

"Saved by the bell," Michelle said as a punch drunk boxer.

Shepard put the knife down, "Get the door Rocky while I get the goat cheese!"


	8. Silken Damages

He loved touching her, loved looking at her as she moved on top of him … it always gave him a rush seeing her face as she first slid down on him. Between the feeling of her body accepting him in and the way her lips would slightly part as she looked down at him … he had never ached for a woman like this before. The sound of Sonny Rollins' sax was heard over their breathing and as a piano broke in he continued looking up at her as her head hung down … her eyes closed as her long wavy black hair became curtains, hiding the world from them. Even with all the scars on her body she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. From the first time that they kissed he had known that he was hopelessly in love and he still didn't know how he had ended up with her. Yes, she had told him no strings, no monogamy, no promises … but he couldn't help but dream that one day she would marry him. Marry him and have his children.

Liam Serafino had just eleven months prior celebrated his fortieth birthday in London, England. He had felt on top of the world that day ... After all, he had just shortly been promoted to the VP of Purchasing at the London branch of the prestigious InNoVaTiVe Research LaB. His life was one that was greatly admired by his family, friends and peers and he knew it. With an estate in Kent, his daughter attending Oxford and a beautiful wife of twenty years together he knew that by appearance he had it all. He had thought that was enough. It had to be. After all, his and Virginia's marriage wasn't perfect, he spent long hours at a job that he had not imagined for himself in his younger years and he still didn't know how to play a guitar like Chet Atkins. At the party, his wife had seemed distant but after that long together it hadn't really worried him. With his work and her newfound love of tennis all they had in common was their daughter, Maggie, and family commitments, but that happened … right? He had known Virginia for twenty-six years total and thought he knew her, well as much as a man can know a woman. He never thought that she would do what she had done. Just two days after his birthday, she had come by his job and confessed that she was pregnant but that the baby was not his. She had told him there, she said, "in case you tried to hit me." He had never touched her once in violence all those years together … not once. No, she didn't know him and he apparently had never known her.

Overnight his world had come crashing down around him over a lousy cliché of betrayal and infidelity. If it hadn't been so awful he would have laughed. By that week's end he had moved out and when he had looked for support from his family they had blamed him for the failure. He wasn't a very communicative type of guy, preferring deeds to words … and trusting actions over proclamations. _Wasn't working over 80 hours a week showing her that I loved her?_ He bitterly asked the bottle of scotch which sat silent. _I took vacations where she chose, had meals with her friends, spent holidays with her family. Wasn't that enough?_

He knew that he had left her alone while he buried himself at work but he felt like he was being kicked by people who should have been his support. Even his daughter had turned her back on him and blamed him for everything that was happening. He hadn't expected his daughter to be involved but his wife and daughter were close. His daughter, the one who he had made sure always had the best in everything, told him that her mother had been lonely for years, that he was to blame with his coldness and absences. He wanted to tell his daughter how he had been away at the office to ensure that she and her mother had the best in life, that he had wanted to quit his job many times and just head to the stars but because he loved her, he had stayed. But what would that have solved? After all someone had to be the bad guy … Why not him.

After months of seeing his life stripped away … his family, friends, home, bank account … he decided to move as far away as he could … to start over. It wasn't too late, right? So he took a demotion to Director of Purchasing and transferred to the stars … or close enough. His daughter had told him good riddance and his wife laughed at his "stupidity". This stupid, broken man arrived exhausted, defeated, lost and thirty pounds overweight. But the new life held promise … he had leased a nice two-bedroom apartment with a view of the stars, enrolled in a class to learn the guitar, started to make actual friends at work and joined the Athletica Gym located just two blocks from his office. Learning the guitar was a boyhood dream but he was more confident at becoming Chet Atkins then the gym turning him into Steve Reeves. He was never an athletic man, had not been in a gym since his mid-twenties and even then it was to swim … but he saw that after years of sitting behind a desk left him even more seriously needing help. What woman would want a soft, middle-aged man?

So late one evening, after a very hectic day at work, he arrived nervous and hoping that the gym wouldn't be filled with people. He thought he would start fairly simple and headed to the treadmill where he looked down at the console and … what the … the console was … shit! He was confused on how to work the thing. After pushing on the console, causing the belt to stop then start then almost throw him off … he had given up and just as he grabbed his water and towel she had appeared. His white knight. The defeater of treadmills as he liked to call her. She had asked if he was okay and he couldn't help but laugh, was he okay? He had to laugh as he thought that the treadmill was the least of his failures. So here he stood, towel in hand and feeling foolish. She had smiled sweetly at him and to his surprise didn't call him stupid …She made light of the situation and showed him how to work the equipment. As he watched her explain the console he thought how she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, had the sexiest laugh and an amazing way of putting him at ease … He had thanked her and just as she started to leave he surprised himself as he offered to buy her dinner for saving him.

He hadn't expected her to say yes, not really, but the very next night they were having dinner together. He also hadn't planned on talking about his life in London, his failures, his loss … but she seemed to have a way of making him feel safe to share his fears, losses and dreams. As he talked about his past she was quiet, when he struggled to find words she touched his hand, when he needed to laugh she was humorous and when he shared his pain she understood. After they had been dating for a couple weeks he was surprised to learn that she was in the Alliance and had he not went on-line he would never have known she was the soldier who led the resistance on the ground during the Blitz. She rarely talked about her current life and she never talked about her past, but she had a way of making her walls too beautiful to complain about.

Now as he lay on his back, feeling her slightly shake as she moved hard against him, moaning as her hands grabbed the sheets … he knew that even here she had boundaries. Not once had she let him roll her over on her back and make love to her. He had tried on many occasions to enter her as he lay on top of her making out but she always rejected him. He had also learned that she preferred no talking while having sex … That was even harder for him. He wanted to express how he felt, how she was making him feel … but it was always the same. He wanted to break through her walls and claim her as his … he didn't want to lose her because he was absent of words or less of a man like London. But when he had pressed her she would pull away from him, shut him out and that was torture. Not being near her, not seeing her smile or holding her. She was the exact opposite to his soon-to-be ex and it confused him. Virginia had been the only other woman he had been with. Something that made him feel somehow less of a man as well … he had hoped that his lack of previous lovers wouldn't show.

She could see he was thinking, worrying even as he was inside her. She could see that he had been hurt and she had seen that pain from the start. That day at the gym as she saw him there confused and needing help on getting the treadmill started … She watched as he wrestled with the machine and was about to go back to lifting weights when a look in his eyes caught her. A look that said, "help, please" … He was a man who needed help and not just in the gym. He was lost … damaged and Hannah's daughter would never turn away from helping someone like that.

She dropped her gloves on the weight bench, told her workout partner that she would be right back and went to him as he was grabbing his things … Hannah's daughter had took pity on him. When she had stepped up to him, he looked at her with kind eyes, an unsure smile and just a twinge of embarrassment. After she showed him how to operate the equipment he had asked her to dinner which had surprised her. She could see that he was waiting for a rejection and it touched her … she had almost said no but his lack of ego was her weakness. Some women loved bad boys but Shepard found that she was attracted to good men … men that made her think of her own father. She had watched how her father had made both her and her mother his center and she wanted that kind of man in her life … she wanted that kind of man to be the father of her children. She wanted to give her children what she had been blessed with. Manny had been that kind of man and she had … she had lost him. Hurt him.

At dinner as he talked she began to see that he was actually handsome but not in a movie-star way … he was handsome in an everyman kind of way. While her beauty just was … his was revealed as he spoke his heart.

Now after two months he had become her only sexual partner and she had grown to care for him. But while she cared for him, she knew that he had fallen in love with her. It broke her heart because she knew that she would never feel the same. Yes, she cared about him … she had cared for Manny … she had cared for Tait … but she had yet to fall in love. Almost thirty and she had yet to meet someone who took her breath away. She was beginning to wonder if she would ever fall in love or if there was just something wrong with her. She knew that love existed, she had seen it with her parents, her grandparents … and she did want to fall in love. Fall in love with a good and honest man who loved to laugh, fish and maybe even play music. When Liam showed her his guitar and told her he was taking classes, he had expected her to laugh at him, but instead she had kissed him and then pulled him off into the bedroom. If people knew how simple Shepard's needs were they wouldn't believe it.

Shepard lowered down to get closer to him and began kissing his lips, her hands now on his chest as she slowed her movements. He heard her moan as he pushed up and it drove him to work harder … his eyes searching her out, begging her to look at him and hoping to understand what she felt for him. He said her name and she looked down at him, gave him a smile as she ran her fingernails softly down his chest before reaching out and grabbing the headboard. He couldn't help but return her smile as he felt her hips changing rhythm … she had a gift at making him feel he was being fucked and not the other way around. He groaned as he placed his hands on her hips trying to feel partially in control which made her give a small giggle as she pulled his hands away. "No Liam, let me do it."

She forced his hands up over his head and as she came face to face with him he looked her in the eyes and started, "Shepard … I lo-"

"Shh," Shepard let go of his left hand, covered his mouth with her right hand as she picked up her rhythm hoping to keep him weak and wordless. Shepard hated words of love, pillow talk, dirty words, any words … she didn't want words. She wanted her lover's lips, fingers, tongue and cock … not his words. She closed her eyes as she heard him groan her name again … He pulled his hands away from her and was now thrusting in her and pushing her down on his shaft with his hands ... hands no longer restrained by her but back on her hips. If only he could know just once what it felt to be on top … he felt a flash of jealousy as he thought of faceless lovers that might have had her submissive sexually. He had tried countless times to take her in the missionary position, to feel that he was in control but she always pushed him on his back.

What he didn't know is that Shepard lying on her back with her legs spread as someone invaded her and grunting on top wasn't going to ever happen ... not if she could help it. Especially not after the last time … Manny had made her feel safe and she knew that he would never hurt her, not on purpose. So she had tried to give herself to him like she had Tait. But as he started penetrating her, his body pushing her into the bed, his breath hot on her neck and face … his weight bearing down on her … she felt helpless and vulnerable and weak and … and the memory of Rurik's Grocers rape rushed in. He was there; his stench filled her nose as she heard him speaking in a language that she didn't understand. She remembered how he grunted as her body gave him pleasure … her body betraying her and not hurting the bastard. Why was her body pleasing him … She cried out and when Manny didn't pull away fast enough her panic turned to anger and she began to punch on him. Manny tried restraining her as she threw punches at his face. Through bitter tears she had cried out, bloodied his lip and blackened his eye. He had fallen off the bed and as she came at him, rage in her face, he had restrained her until her energy was depleted. He was on his back, her back against his chest as he held her to him ... As the tears came and the rage subsided she looked at her hands, saw the blood under her nails and began to cry. She looked back at her lover and when she saw his face, the scratch marks on him … she begged him to forgive her. He had held her, cared for her and told her that everything would be alright. He had been too good for her.

That was the first and only attempt ... Manok would have been pleased to know that he left that girl on Mindoir damaged … left her incapable of being completely open with a lover. He would have been pleased to know that he was always there in her mind when she took a lover, just at the edge of her mind waiting to crawl back up on her. He would have been pleased to know that he really hadn't been silenced by a Swede and her Eastwood Special. Shepard could fight his memory; push his rotting corpse in a dark corner of her mind, as long she approached the bedroom on her terms and her terms only. There was to be no negotiations there.

* * *

><p>The club Aircraft 1512 was dimly lit and slightly crowded as Kaidan arrived … The house band was playing <em>Truly Madly Deeply<em> onstage as eight couples and a lone male slow danced below them. The Normandy crew had claimed the tables on the entire left side of the stage and already over half the seats were filled. This was the last night before the Normandy was taking its first run through a mass relay and so a portion of the crew was celebrating.

Kaidan had heard that Shepard was planning on dropping in and so he had dressed in grey dress slacks, black turtleneck, grey jacket and black boots. Grace was set to arrive after she finished her double shift and Kaidan felt a slight twinge of guilt that he had dressed for Shepard, not her. He knew that Shepard was off-limits, per Alliance regulations, and he wasn't a man who was made weak by beautiful women but she … there was something about her. He couldn't explain what "it" was but she had it in spades. As he looked around at the other guys, also dressed smartly, he knew that he wasn't the only one.

Joker and Wang were already at a table, Joker drinking a Duvel beer and eating pretzels while Wang was drinking a Bud. Kaidan sat down next to Joker and Wang asked if he wanted a drink, "I'm about to get us a refill … you want something?"

"A sidecar," Kaidan said as he looked around.

"She's not here yet," Joker said, tossing a pretzel in his mouth.

"Who?" Kaidan acted innocent.

"Oh, it's gonna be like that?" Joker rubbed his exposed head, leaving his hat at the apartment.

"Like what, Joker?" Kaidan stood up and removed his jacket.

"Okay … play that game," Joker shook his head and then finished off his beer.

"Is she here yet?" Silas asked as he approached the table with three other crewmen.

"No!" Joker and Kaidan answered in unison and then looked at each other.

Just as the group was settling in, Wang returned with drinks and the band started playing _Under the Milky Way_, "What crap," Joker grumbled as he took a drink of his new beer. "Don't they know CCR or Reticulating Splines?"

"What, like Suzie Q?" Wang laughed as he grabbed a handful of pretzels.

Before Joker had a chance to respond there was movement at the entrance … female movement that prompted the men and a few women to turn. Engineer Helen Lowe arrived and seeing the eyes on her, rolled hers, "No, I'm not the Commander!"

"What?" Silas shot back, "We weren-"

"Ya, ya ... It's okay," Helen shook her head as she cut him off. "I served under the Commander on the Madrid. I'm use to men falling all over her … just don't let her see it. She doesn't like it."

"You served with the Commander?" Silas asked.

"Over a year with her," Helen said, suddenly becoming the center of attention.

Silas then asked her what every other man was thinking, "Is she seeing anyone? I mean, I know she's not married but is she …?"

"No, not that I'm aware of," Helen said as she sat down next to Kaidan. "But I haven't seen her since her mission on Antibaar … that was bad."

"Antibaar?" Kaidan asked as he wiped away the sweat on his glass with a napkin.

"A mission that almost killed her," Helen answered as she took a deep breath remembering what the Commander looked like when she was brought back on the Madrid. "A turian vessel crashed on the planet and Shepard was sent down with a three-man crew ... It was a bloodbath down there with dozens of dead turians … one was an Admiral and another a General."

"I think I read about that," Kaidan said.

"Shepard looked bad," Helen continued, "We all thought she was dead. There was blood all over her, she was cut deep, her shoulder blown open … how she survived none of us knew."

"I bet she killed the shits!" Wang said, munching on yet another pretzel.

"No," Helen shook her head. "They never found the turian. Shame, if they had we would have killed him."

"Speaking of turians," Silas motioned to the door.

There at the entrance stood a turian in armor and he was looking around as if he were expecting somebody. The table watched as he made his way to the farthest side of the bar.

"That must be the SpecTRe," Kaidan said more to himself.


	9. Sitruuna Secrets

The sitruuna room was dimly lit and Liara still couldn't believe that she was actually sitting on the beautiful soft cushions, not that she hadn't been in the room before. She had snuck in countless times to her mother's elegant and sensual sitruuna room, but this time the Matriarch had invited her to enter. She was to start learning the ritual that was shared around the soothing powers of the asari tea. The ritual was sacred, a blessing of the Goddess Athame and the celebration of life eternal. The asari now shared the ritual not in mating but in remembrance of times past. Liara had seen her mother and Theia perform it together and she had seen the way that they had moved about each other, the sound of the old asari language softly escaping from their lips and the way that they looked at each other. Everything was part of the ritual and fascinated Liara. The way that her mother looked at Theia made Liara's heart melt and she desired to have her mother look at her that way.

_Today mother will look at me like that instead of Theia_, she had thought happily to herself as she sat waiting for her mother to return. She always loved this room and had turned her attention from the entrance to the wall of water that contained an asari couple moving together. Even as a little girl she understood that they were lovers, touching each other in a way that was beautiful. The asari were neither ashamed of their bodies nor of sharing their bodies with others. Art of lovers was never shielded from their off-spring and mothers guided their daughters on the road to all the joys and sorrows of life. For a daughter to enter life ill-equipped was a shame on the mother and as some of the older customs gave way to new ways, blending influences by other species, the elite families did not, could not stray from their ancestors ways. They were the keepers of the truths, customs, rituals and when all came to an end the asari knew that all of them would return to who they truly were. After all, all things fade and what remains is where they started.

The T'Soni's were part of that elite circle and their responsibilities could be heavy with each generation passing the torch. Benezia had never planned on having a daughter partly because of that heavy responsibility but then she saw her sister with her off-spring and it made her want. But the final push came after her mother's passing and she felt the painful sever from her mother's grace and the emptiness was unbearable. Her mother had done everything to prepare her but she couldn't breathe without her. Had it not been for her own mother's younger sister, Matriarch Livia, she would not have survived. For all her strength she was lost without that connection.

ΕπZρεάζYω was a special bond that mothers and daughters shared immediately after birth which made all other bonds pale in comparison. Lovers, friends, family … all fell short of that one special connection and while the asari cherished that thread of devotion, other species did not or really could not understand how absolute it was.

As Liara sat waiting for her mother she looked up at the sky through the glass ceiling and could see the stars. Then she heard slight movement of fabric and looked towards the entrance. Her heart leapt as she saw her mother carrying the sitruuna set and she started to get up … "Mother," Liara almost shouted with excitement, "Can I help?"

Benezia shook her head, "No, Liara. What did I tell you? You must watch me in silence as I approach."

"Why?" Liara asked as she sat back down as her mother had shown her earlier. There were proper ways to sit and Liara was making sure that she was in the correct position.

"Because my entrance is designed to please you ..." Benezia smiled. "... to seduce ... Remember? I am not your mother but a lover." The tea set was carefully placed on the table between them. "Think of me like … what is her name? Xanic? One day you may do this with Xanic and so you must know how to act."

"I want to be with you not Xanic," Liara protested as the thought of her wanting someone over the Matriarch was not only unthinkable but wrong. She wished that she hadn't told her mother that she thought Xanic was pretty. _Now mother thinks I desire someone over her!_

This made Benezia smile and she brushed her young daughter's cheek, "Your devotion touches me, but your art of pleasure is not mine to have. We have ΕπZρεάζYω and with all others …" Benezia motioned over to the wall of pleasure, "the movement of body and mind."

"I don't understand," Liara said as she looked at the wall.

"You will … one day, now put the tiveen on," her mother whispered as she slowly sat on her knees.

The headband was worn only during this ritual and Liara was so small that it fell over her eyes. "Mother, why can't I have a tiveen that fits?"

"Because you are not at the age of truly sharing this ceremony with another," Benezia smiled as she reached across the table and readjusted the tiveen just above her daughter's eyes. "When you are older it will fit and look lovely on you … I promise."

Benezia raised the pot of sitruuna over her small daughter's cup as she reminded her to slowly turn it as she poured … "Remember Liara to slowly turn the cup counter-clockwise as the amber falls. You must not let any of it fall outside the cup as this represents my spirit."

"Yes, mother." But she was so little that she picked the cup up carelessly with her tiny hands and as Benezia began to pour she failed to catch the amber completely. The liquid spilled partly in the cup, the saucer and the table with Benezia quickly raising the spout as she fought back a smile.

Her offspring was frowning, "No, no … wait, mother." She placed the cup back down in her careless manner and it chipped the cup. "Mother!"

"Mother?" Benezia put down the pot, "I didn't spill the sitruuna or chip the cup."

"You said to raise it and … and …" Liara was almost in tears as she looked at the chipped cup.

"Liara, you do not pick it up. You must lightly raise it with just a hint of separation from the saucer."

"But that is picking it up!" Liara argued as she fought back tears.

"Liara, will you open your mind or shall we stop here?" Benezia asked as she removed the chipped cup and its saucer.

Liara was so tiny and even though she was only ten she really wanted to learn the ritual of the sitruuna. She wanted her mother to look at her like she was Theia, "No, mother … I will listen."

"Well, then …" Benezia placed a new saucer and cup before her daughter. "You must remember that this cup represents your mind and the saucer your body. The sitruuna is your lover's spirit. As your lover gives you of herself you are not only open to her but more mindful of what you bring in place of what you feel." As Benezia spoke she showed Liara how delicate and small all the movements were to be. "You must be tender and aware of all that you bring just as your lover must be aware of all that she gives."

"Why?" Liara asked as she watched her mother's fingers caress the cup as she turned it slowly.

"Our minds have many layers, Liara … Some of those layers are to be shared while others must be shielded. Some layers are meant only for you while others must be veiled to ensure that no one is hurt … or worse."

"Or worse?" Liara with wide eyes looked up into her mother's face which had never appeared so serious with her until now.

"Liara, not all things are meant to be shared, not all things are meant to be taken and until you can properly veil them … or more importantly, know what to veil then you must never join in mind with another." Benezia stopped, looked deeply into her daughter's eyes and then added, "And you must feel your partner … know when to push and know when to stop when in their mind. You must know when to turn away in order to keep that connection pure. To take from a lover what is not yours is unforgivable."

Liara thought of how her mother would guide her during the ΕπZρεάζYω and she looked over at a flower arrangement next to the entrance. "Why can't she do like you and show me?"

Benezia laughed as she thought of how strong her daughter was during the union and how a weaker mind would be powerless against Liara, "Daughter, first I don't see you letting another lead as you struggle even with me … secondly, if you share these moments with a non-asari they will not have this gift and you will need to control it."

"Well if they can't do it then I don't want them!" Liara was upset that her mother had laughed at her. She hated to feel foolish and she knew that her mother had laughed because she didn't understand what was being said. Not really.

Benezia stopped laughing and went back to the cup, "I see, only asari then? Well we must be serious on learning this ritual and properly at that … we asari demand only the best."

"You mean to confuse me," Liara began to rise up.

"Liara, you are not about to rise without my approval are you?"

"No, mother." Liara lowered back down, head hung.

"I'm pleased … Now back to our training?" Benezia smiled as she raised Liara's head up.

Liara looked at her mother's beautiful face and wiped away a tear, "Yes, please."

"When you invite another in you must be careful not to harm them. You must come to them pure, open and yet protective," Benezia whispered as she continued turning the cup. "The way you hold the cup, caressing it with your fingers is done as a hint of the pleasures you are going to bring to them … The separation of cup and saucer … mind and body must be so small that it appears to still be connected."

"Why?" Liara placed her chin on the table and tried to see between the saucer and cup.

"Because no matter how wonderful it is for our minds to connect," Benezia put the cup back in place and looked at her daughter, "Our bodies are the vessels that give life, pleasure and true comfort."

"Mother, you're trying to confuse me," Liara cried as tears began to form in her eyes again. She hated not understanding and this whole ritual was confusing her. She thought that all her mother and Theia were doing was pouring, lighting candles, hitting a chime, movements, saying words, looking at each other in a beautiful way and then to laughter and normal talk. She didn't know that it was harder then that. That everything meant something! How was that fun?

Benezia sensing her daughter's frustration reached across and took her small hand, "No daughter, you are just trying to run ahead of yourself. You will understand the ritual when you get older … for now you will learn the movements only."

"But I want to learn it all so you can look at me like you do Theia!" Liara pushed the cup away. "I want to please you too!"

Benezia began to laugh as she rose and moved around the table to her pouting and angry daughter. Liara tried to move away as Benezia pulled her to her bosom and once next to her mother's heart she stopped fighting. As Liara was comforted, Benezia teasingly whispered, "So you think that you have competition for my grace?"

Liara pushed her mother away as the tears began to fall, "She has your grace and you laugh at me!"

Benezia laughed even harder as she watched her daughter try and stand but fall over the cushions instead. "Going somewhere?"

Liara swallowed up by the cushions peeked out, "Don't talk to me!"

"No?" Benezia began to look sad and as she started to rise herself Liara saw that her mother was about to leave.

"No, mother," she scattered, cushions being thrown about as she reached for the Matriarch. "Please stay with me! I'll be smarter … I can learn!"

Benezia looked at the tears starting to fall down her face and felt such need … a need to hold, to protect and to shelter. "Little Wing you have already amazed and inspired me with your presence, with your ideas and with your giggles."

"Promise me," Liara said, "that you won't ever find me dull and leave?"

Benezia felt the tears building in her own eyes as she saw her daughter reveal her greatest fear … she had seen it during their ΕπZρεάζYω many times. The fear that she would fail her mother, that she would not be bright enough, that another would take Benezia away from her … it was a hidden fear that broke Benezia's heart and that she was always mindful of. Barely touching it without her daughter's knowledge and giving comfort. "One day we will share sitruuna and you will remember this with fondness and joy."

"Promise me!" Liara could not be distracted from her plea.

"I will never find you dull," Benezia calmed her daughter. "Stubborn? Yes. Dull? Never."

"I'm not stubborn," Liara picked up a small pillow.

"No?" Benezia picked up a pillow slighter smaller.

* * *

><p>As Liara looked at the cup with a chip she smiled at the memory, giving a small laugh at the pillow fight that had followed. Her mother was so affectionate, so full of patience and tender touches when alone with her that hours spent with others around them could at times be unbearable. There she was in the presence of the Matriarch not her mother. She was to stand away, approaching only if invited and talking of public things only, never of what she really wanted to discuss … But when they were alone the Matriarch was gone and her mother was there. Even when she trained her in private there was a softness that quickly disappeared when someone else approached. Liara learned the complete sitruuna ritual by the time she was sixteen and her mother had been right. She looked back at that first time with fondness and joy ... and a little embarrasement at her innocence.<p>

As she looked at the cup her lips curled downward. She had sent yet another plea but there had been no response. She had contemplated leaving Therum and finding her mother but she was afraid of the Matriarch being angry and turning her away. So instead she was now seated at her desk, netbook open, cup of sitruuna to her left and looking at a vid of her mother teaching her to dance the ancient nectpir. The dance was one of their oldest that took centuries to master and was rarely mastered before an asari became a Matriarch. She had loved the dance which celebrated water and fire, and required two bodies to move about each other as fire and water would. To see two Matriarchs perform it was beautiful and if you were not asari it could hypnotize if you watched it too long. There was no worry of that happening with her as one of the partners though ... She would need at least another four centuries at least before she was accomplished but she loved watching the vid and her mother's fluid movements.

* * *

><p>She was fluid, even with the pain, as she moved down the passageway … Saren had been in a rage for hours after the Matriarch had shared two items with him and to ensure that his anger wasn't taken out on her acolytes … <em>Not your acolytes anymore<em>, Benezia whispered behind the wall … she had come to him, let him take his pleasures on her body and his pleasures could be brutal. He had loved doing his darkest desires on her acolyte Shiala and so she had made sure that it was that acolyte that had been left on Feros. She had made both Saren and Shiala believe that only she, outside of the Matriarch, would be strong enough to survive the Thorian and assist Saren.

She had looked at Shiala before they departed Feros and was reminded again how she had failed all of them. _But I will not give up hope_, the Matriarch said behind her wall as she thought of her daughter. _I will not let Saren or the reapers win … I must find a way to protect Liara, the asari … the galaxy. Oh, Goddess, just give me strength to not lose my entire mind before that time comes. _Keeping that small piece of her was getting harder as time passed.

The first item that angered Saren was that his friend and fellow SpecTRe, Nihlus Kryik, had recommended a human for the agency.

"A human!" he had raged as Benezia watched him curse the turian. "How could he think that a human could even understand what we do? How can he think to raise them up to our level? They are a disease that needs to be kept on their knees not sitting at our table. He has betrayed us!"

"The Councilor needs my vote to accept or reject his recommendation," Benezia said.

"Reject it!" he quickly responded. "Do you hear me? Reject it now!"

"In time," Benezia answered. "To reject straightaway would raise questions."

Saren could have broken her neck at that very asari response, "Yes … an asari actually making a timely decision would be out of the question. And when would you give an answer? Two centuries from now?"

"Saren," Benezia tried explaining, "I must review the report, look at the human's record, think of the effects on our civilization not just now but in years to come … Decisions made quickly are made thoughtlessly … are made in ignorance."

Saren wasn't listening to her, he had always hated how the asari seemed to stand still … "Break tradition … reject! The others will follow your lead."

"As you say," she had responded. She would need to review the file that had been sent on this Lt. Commander E.W. Shepard and then send the rejection. But first she had to tell him that it got worse. A prothean beacon had been unearthed on a planet colonized by humans as well.

They both knew that if the message was the same as what was in the beacon located on Virmire that others might learn of the reapers. So they began moving towards that colony as she moved towards her acolytes … What sweetness filled her as she thought of how she had pleased Saren. How he had seemed exalted as she was abased. But deep in her mind as the last remnant of her true self watched she cried. Cried at her helplessness and at what she had done.

As the "rotting her" moved about the ship the "pure her" slid away to her memories. She was back with her daughter at their home on Thessia and it was the first time that she had tried teaching her the sitruuna ritual. As the memory came rushing back to her she smiled, laughed and cried. _Liara, may the Goddess protect you and may you feel my grace even now_, she prayed as her mind watched Liara giggling as they had a pillow fight.

As Benezia overtook her daughter, pulling the pillow away and kissing her small neck her heart swelled at her daughter's laughter.

As they both settled down and laid back on the rug, heads on the cushions and looking at each other … Liara took her mother's hand and kissed it. "You have the most beautiful hands, mother."

"I'm glad that you think so, daughter." Benezia smiled as she squeezed her daughter's hand. "Especially since you have my hands."

"Do I?" Liara's eyes got a little wider as she looked at them.

"Yes … see," Benezia let Liara's hand go and held up her hand, spreading her fingers and watching Liara do the same. "It's just your hands are smaller at the moment. But one day, when you grow up they will look just like mine."

The time moved slowly as the two laid silent. Liara began to think of veiling her thoughts and wondered if her mother had hid things from her when they were together. She had seen small flashes during the unions, faces she didn't know, sadness fleeting by, unknown sounds … but just glimpses. Had her mother not been completely honest when they were together?

"What are you thinking, Liara?" Benezia had been lying with her eyes closed, listening to the soft breathing of her daughter, feeling her daughter touch her fingers. She had sensed that Liara was thinking serious thoughts again and said a prayer that one day Liara would find someone who would understand her curious and serious nature … Someone who would accept her but also challenge her to laugh and be fragile in desire.

"Why must I veil?" she heard from her daughter's small voice.

"Hmmm, to veil," the question made Benezia smile, "You must learn to veil parts of yourself because to give everything leaves nothing."

Liara looked at her mother who looked serene with her eyes closed and face relaxed, "Do you veil from me?"

Benezia could feel her daughter looking at her, the sound of the little girl's breathing closer. "Yes, Liara."

"Why? I would never hurt you." Liara said confused.

Benezia smiled and slowly opened her eyes to see Liara's blue eyes not six inches from her, "Liara, it's not about trust. There are parts of you that belong only to you … then as you grow there will be moments that you experience with lovers, friends … even with me that will belong only to you."

"Moments with you?" Liara put her small hand on her mother's cheek, "Mother, I want the whole world to know what I feel for you. I would never veil these feelings or deny how I feel about you … Never!"

Benezia took her daughter's hand and kissed it, "You are so sure of yourself, Little Wing."

"Are you laughing at me?" the serious face returned.

"I am marveling at you!" Benezia kissed her on the lips and then as Liara curled up against her mother, Benezia stroking her forehead, she prayed, _May your words of never not be put to the test._

Benezia in her prison began to feel the pain of the separation, the shame and the loss of her daughter. _Liara … May you understand why I was here and my shame not cover you. May you never remember that moment of your promise to me when history … oh, Goddess, please let there be a history to curse me! Daughter, may your spirit remember me in those private moments when I could be with you simply as your mother and not … not … oh, Goddess! I would gladly have her despise me if it means that she lives a full life … I would gladly be remembered in shame if it means that she lives._


	10. Aircraft 1512

Nihlus could see that he was making the humans nervous by his presence and as he was in no mood to cause a problem or suffer the fools, he went to the far back end of the bar. It was better here anyway … his back was against the wall and he had a clear view of the entrance. He had already suspected that establishments on the human Alliance station would not carry his kind of drink so he had come prepared. He took a seat on the barstool, pulled out a bottle of Palaven Venefirous and waved over one of the bartenders.

"Can I help you?" the bartender asked with a scowl. Nihlus could see the hate in the human's eyes and it did not surprise him. The Relay 314 Incident, or the First Contact War as the humans called it, had left a bruise between the species and in some cases a deep cut of hate. This bartender it appeared was part of the latter group.

Nihlus shifted causing the bartender to back up slightly, "Just a glass for my drink."

"That will be 2,000 credits," the bartender said as he put down a dirty glass in front of Nihlus. At that price, Nihlus knew he could have purchased two bottles of Serrice Ice Brandy on Omega.

"Isn't there an entry fee as well?" A customer standing a few feet away at the bar asked. "Like ... oh, I don't know ... 3,000 credits?

Nihlus could have snapped the bartender and patron's necks in two quick moves or at the very least put them down for the rest of the night but he knew that it would create a problem for the Council so he began practicing sufōcāR, a turian way of restraining all emotion and keeping control.

"Did you hear, turian?" The customer said in a louder voice, "I think you have to pay an entry fee of 3C as well."

"No," A voice said from Nihlus' right. "No entry fee and no charge for a clean glass."

"Captain Anderson," the bartender looked embarrassed. "This turian with you?"

" Yes," Anderson answered, "and I expect him to be treated with the respect that you would show me or any other Alliance officer."

"Well …I …" the bartender looked at the dirty glass.

"Let's start with a clean glass." Anderson said without a hint of humor as he pushed the dirty glass towards the bartender.

"Captain Anderson," Nihlus greeted without emotion as he watched the bartender place a clean glass in front of him.

Anderson was under the impression that the SpecTRe was to meet him on the Normandy but when Nihlus had called and asked him about Shepard … Anderson had, without thinking, informed him that some of the Normandy crew and possibly his XO were going to be meeting at the club Aircraft 1512 for a pre-flight celebration. It had taken him all of two seconds after hanging up that he realized that Nihlus was going to where Shepard potentially was. He rushed to the club knowing that there might be problems and the last thing he needed was an incident with the SpecTRe … that would have been his ass.

"Shall we have a seat?" Anderson asked, motioning to a table unoccupied.

"Somewhere that I can see the entrance," Nihlus answered, rejecting the table motioned to.

As Nihlus moved over to a table that met his needs, Anderson ordered a bottle of Aberfeldy 21 ... "Have it and a clean glass sent to our table."

"Yes, sir," the bartender said.

As Anderson went to leave he stopped and added, "If Commander Shepard arrives have her come to our table."

"Shepard?" the bartender smiled. "Sure … and I'm a-sorry ab-"

Anderson did not care to hear apologies and left the bartender in mid-sentence. Nihlus was already sitting and looking at the entrance … Anderson sat across from him and thinking he might be hungry, "There is a restaurant just down the way that has a menu for turians."

"I'm not hungry," Nihlus said as he continued to look at the entrance. He had hoped to be alone when he saw her again … he wanted to simply watch her, see how she was with her kind. He had to hold his tongue as Anderson sitting across from him moved in his way. As he shifted slightly to see the entrance he realized that Anderson had said something. "What did you say?"

"I requested the bartender to have the Commander come to our table if she arrives," Anderson repeated. He had thought that it would make the SpecTRe relax and stop watching the door. Instead he sensed anger. "You did want to meet her, didn't you?"

Nihlus had meant to just watch her … "Of course," he answered, instead of showing his disapproval. He filled his glass and kept his eyes on the club's entrance as Anderson talked about the upcoming mission.

* * *

><p>The Normandy crowd was deep into their celebration of the next day's launch as the house band started taking requests and Joker cringed at every song performed. "I hate this band," he said as it started playing <em>Lay Your Hands On Me<em>. "I think I'm gonna …"

Kaidan was on his third sidecar and looked over at Joker, "You're gonna what?"

Joker was frozen, mouth open and looking towards the entrance. Kaidan turned to look and there she stood … hair down, dark green v-top that fell just above her knees and cinched at the waist with a black belt, black leggings and black thigh boots. She had walked in alone and her eyes fell on the turian within seconds and the battle on Antibaar came back to her in a flash. She wanted to turn around and leave but she knew that she had been seen by others so she took a breath, _its okay … you're not on Antibaar and that's not the turian that you fought_. She thought to herself … _Let it go_.

The bar had seemed to stop as she stood in the entrance … Kaidan, as senior officer present, quickly stood and was about to approach her when he saw her turn. An older male in a grey business suit came up behind her and put his arm around her waist ... Kaidan continued to watch as the two smiled at each other and she put her hand on his chest and whispered in his ear. Kaidan looked over at Joker who was now glaring.

"Do you know how handsome you are?" Shepard had said to her lover.

Liam pulled away, smiled at her, looked around and saw that he had competition as usual, "Hopefully more than the other guys here."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "What other guys?"

He looked into her eyes and felt his love grow, "Would you like me to get you a whiskey?"

Shepard nodded and as he started to leave she stopped him and added, "An hour and then back to my bed, I promise."

"Shit!" Joker said as Shepard made the bastard smile, "Shit! Shit! Shit!" he repeated and then gulped down his beer.

"Yeh," Kaidan was right there with Joker as they watched her pull away from the male and look in their direction.

"Commander!" Engineer Helen Lowe called out, waving her over to the table.

Shepard saw her, smiled and walked over causing heads to turn as she went, "Helen?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Helen beamed as she knew that everyone was watching them. "I'm stationed on the Normandy too!"

"I'm glad to hear that," she said. "I won't feel so alone."

"Alone?" Helen smiled as she motioned towards the tables with the crew. "You don't ever have to worry about that. I've never seen the guys look so stupid or hungry."

"Helen," Shepard cocked an eye, "I know that you and Michelle are friends but don't take some of her bad qualities."

"No one can be that bad," Helen laughed. "Although, she did call me this morning and told me that I have to represent her … oh, and I thought that you were single."

"Hmm," Shepard smiled as both women looked at Liam who was at the bar getting jealous looks as he ordered Shepard's whiskey and a mineral water for himself.

"Bringing a lamb among the wolves?" Helen teased, "You know the boys ... and some of us girls are going to kill him if you leave him alone."

This made Shepard laugh ... She had debated letting him come with him, worried that he might feel out of place more than get murdered, but it was their last night for an undetermined amount of time … so, there he was braving the wolves. "I think he'll survive."

"How long have you two been dating?" Helen asked.

"We started dating a couple months ago." Shepard looked again over at the turian briefly and saw that Captain Anderson was with him. _So it must be the SpecTRe_, she thought and then looked at Helen.

"Civilian?" Helen asked.

"Of course," Shepard was not into military men unless it was quick sex. "But I keep waiting for him to realize that there isn't any positive things about dating an Alliance officer."

"What?" Helen feigned shock. "Not seeing your partner for six months to a year sometimes is a drawback?"

Shepard looked at Liam standing in his business suit and looking so out of place among the uniforms, "I'm sure that he will break my heart at some point."

"A man leave you?" Helen looked at Shepard's curves, "That would never happen."

"Already has," Shepard smiled. "How is Nancy?"

"Now that was a great segue way … She dumped me and went back to her husband," Helen frowned. "And before you say anything, I know it was crazy being with a straight married woman."

"The heart doesn't take advice from the head," Shepard squeezed Helen's arm and looked over at Joker who was rubbing his head. "Is this a good group tonight?"

"I think so," Helen answered, "Well if you don't count our senior pilot."

"Lt. Moreau?" Shepard asked although not surprised.

"He goes by Joker," Helen answered. "He is an absolute ass and can make you want to kill him within seconds. I'm just glad that I work far away from him."

"You work alongside of him," Shepard looked at her confused.

"Not normally on the same shift though," Helen explained. "and when we are together we say the minimum."

"I see," Shepard could tell that he would be a hard guy to get to know, but if you were patient enough he would be a loyal and true friend.

"Now Lt. Alenko is good looking and smells good for a guy but I swear half the time I don't know what he's saying," Helen offered, prompting Shepard to look at him. He was standing and looking back at her, turning away when their eyes caught. "Oh ... and across from him is Silas. He is funny as hell and has a crush on Kaid-"

"Okay," Shepard laughed as she cut off Helen. "Maybe I should go and say hello before I have all of their history."

Joker saw her walking towards him and he pushed his crutches under the table, "Commander."

"Lt. Moreau, it's good to see you here," Shepard said, trying to put him at ease.

"I'm here too!" Wang popped his head between the two. "Why don't you drop the loser and come back to my friend's place? We have-"

Wang did not get to finish his sentence as Joker grabbed his shirt and pulled him down into a seat, "Aysay ustjay oneway oremay Ordway andway I'llway utcay ouryay oatthray."

"Alright," Wang said as he put his hand to his throat. "I was just trying to be your wingman."

Shepard looked over at Kaidan, who was still standing and he was good looking ... Shepard had quickly scanned his body and it made her smile, "Lt. Alenko."

"Commander," he said trying not to look at her body. "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you," she said. "My date is getting my drink."

* * *

><p>Nihlus had watched her from the moment she had arrived … he watched her move through the crowd, saw how she impacted a room and it made him smile. She had seen him when she first arrived, her eyes darkening at his presence but she had not flinched … if the memories of what she had experienced passed in her mind she had not shown it.<p>

Anderson had not realized that Shepard was there and was talking about how they were going to tell Shepard, "we need to present this to her as a positive move for her career."

Nihlus, as he poured another drink, was now watching Shepard's male at the bar. "Are you concerned that the Commander will reject the offer?"

"It's possible," Anderson responded, hoping that he was wrong. But a part of him saw the possibility as Shepard's profile was not one of intentional advancement but one of cause and effect. No, there was nothing in her report that implied she was career driven but given that she had been serving for over ten years, she might be a career soldier. That would work in their favor.

"She will see reason," Nihlus said more to himself then Anderson.

* * *

><p>"Shepard," Liam handed her a tumbler of whiskey on the rocks.<p>

Kaidan looked at Shepard's date and just couldn't see it. The man was older than her by at least ten years, slightly overweight and not good looking. Okay, he knew that looks weren't everything but … he looked at her. It just didn't make sense. He looked over at Joker who was glaring at her companion and it worried Kaidan that her date or worse … Shepard herself might notice. "Uh, Joker can you go to the bar with me?"

_I hate him_, Joker was thinking as Kaidan was talking to him. _He must have money because he sure doesn't have looks or … or a body._

Shepard had seen Joker's glares but Liam was too busy looking at Kaidan to notice ... Liam was feeling threatened by Kaidan and trying hard not to show it while Kaidan was too busy trying to get Joker away to notice. Sometimes men made her laugh at their transparency when it came to desire. She thought of her dad and how he had started acting weird after she had started to develop … upset over her friend Tyler helping her out of a twisted shirt, that two-piece bathing suit that he hated and sitting in the dark with Tait on the porch. _Well, pops … this would be your idea of hell_, she thought as she watched these three men. But the thought of Pierce Shepard made her wish that he would walk in. She would have gladly traded every male in that room for just an hour being with him. Laughing, playing music and even sharing a drink together. _Pops ... I wish you were here. We could have one more secret from mom._

The band began to play _Into The Mystic_ and Shepard put down her drink, "Liam, dance with me."

As they headed for the dance floor, Kaidan finished his drink and headed to the bar after Joker grumbled, "I really hate this shitty band!"

* * *

><p>Nihlus watched Shepard lead the male to the dance floor and as they began to slow dance Anderson realized that she was there. He looked over at the bartender who was busy serving drinks and he cursed under his breath. He told Nihlus that he would get the Commander but Nihlus stopped him. "I can meet her tomorrow, Captain."<p>

"It will take just a minute," Anderson said as he began to stand up.

Nihlus watched Anderson walk out onto the dance floor, moving through the small crowd towards her and then a tap on the male's shoulder. He watched Anderson motion over to the table after Shepard introduced him to her companion and when she looked at him he remembered pulling her helmet off as she lay dying. He remembered the oath that he had made as he left her on the Antibaar ground to be rescued by her own people, "We will meet again Shepard. I will teach you to be stronger, quicker ... to understand what is hidden in the galaxy. And after you have trained with me you will be a SpecTRe." This was a time of honoring his oath.

"Commander Shepard may I introduce you to Nihlus Kryik," Anderson said as they arrived at the table.

"Kryik," Shepard smiled at the turian but she would have preferred to still be on the dance floor ... anywhere really but standing in front of the turian who had made her skin crawl the moment that she had seen him. Now standing face to face she looked into his eyes and saw sacrifice. He had sacrificed much and she saw it, using her mother's gift of perception.

"Commander Shepard," he seemed to purr as he extended his hand to honor her. Humans were the only species to shake hands as a greeting while the turians would grasp each other on the forearms. Shepard knowing that the turians had a custom like the ancient romans placed her hand on his forearm which pleased him.

"An honor," Shepard smiled, as she thought of how to bid a quick farewell.

"No," Nihlus countered, "you have honored me."

"I hope that you are enjoying your time on the station," Shepard smiled as her date moved closer.

"I miss Palaven," Nihlus found himself being open with her.

"I understand," Shepard knew he was honest in that moment and it touched her. "I miss Mindoir at times."

"Need of home," Nihlus looked deep into her eyes, "One thing our species has in common."

"I'm sure there are more things then just homesickness that we share," Shepard said as Liam shifted next to her. "Oh, please excuse my rudeness, this is Liam Serafino.

Liam put his hand out and Nihlus just looked at it for a moment as only Shepard deserved that kind of respect. "You must be her suppliant?"

"Suppliant?" Liam lowered his hand.

"Lover," Shepard lied, as she knew that it was a turian term for a person who was being sexually used by someone of greater authority or place in life.

"Yes," Nihlus looked at Shepard.

Another individual might have been offended by the use, but Shepard knew that each species was different. He had simply stated what he saw and Shepard couldn't honestly say if she wasn't just using Liam for sexual purposes ... _Don't judge what you don't understand_, her mother would caution. "Well, I must say goodnight. Liam and I are scheduled to meet friends at a restaurant for a late meal."

"Yes," Liam caught the lie and thought he would help. "I am afraid that our time is limited and can't keep our friends waiting."

"Commander," Anderson said sharply, "The SpecTRe wishes to discuss a very important matter with you. Your friends can wait."

"No, Captain." Nilhus said, "The Commander should enjoy her evening before her duties take her away in the morning."

Shepard looked at the turian, sensing that he was trying to read her, _Sorry, but if I could hide my thoughts from my mother_, Shepard thought, _you don't have a chance in hell of seeing the true me. So stop trying to read me, turian._

Nihlus could size people up in a matter of seconds but this human … she was an enigma. _I have time,_ he told himself. _I will solve your mystery. You will learn to trust me, to need me and you will be stronger, faster and wiser because of it_.

* * *

><p>As the house band went on break, the Alliance crew watched across the dance floor at the meeting between the SpecTRe, Captain, civilian and Commander. The DJ stepped up and began spinning <em>Better The Devil You Know<em> as the dance floor lights cast colors and shadows on the meeting.

Helen had just done shots of tequila with a few of the guys and looked over at Shepard. "This is gonna be a bumpy ride, boys!"


	11. Wings of Flight

The morning had started out bitterly cold but now at midday it was 71 degrees with a warm breeze coming up from the south. The 212, now on their second day securing the perimeter, was stopped at a stream as the Staff Lieutenant Birral looked at their current location and the surrounding area using his omni-tool as his 1st Lieutenant lit a cigarette.

"How long do you think that we will be out here?" Private Aaron Potgieter asked Williams as they both bent down next to the stream to fill their canteens.

"Damned if I know," Williams answered as she dipped her canteen in the cold, clear water.

Splashing sounds were heard off to their left as fish swam upstream and a couple marines tried catching them with their bare hands. Private Preston Hudson with his trusty harmonica was softly playing _Bury Me Not On The Lone Prairie_ as he watched a rabble of butterflies move off to the left of him. A group was huddled together squatting as dice was thrown while two female soldiers were discussing the best omni-tool manufacturers. Every soldier was taking advantage of the break with a few going off to relieve themselves as well.

Private Nirali Bhatia walked up next to Williams as she removed her helmet and looked up at the sky, "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

"That's beautiful," Williams said putting her canteen on her belt as Nirali looked down at her. "Is it part of you Hindi teachings?"

"Kabir," Bhatia handed her canteen to Williams. "We must live our life always giving back so that when we are gone our contributions are remembered and we are missed."

"What made you think of that?" Williams asked, as she filled up the canteen.

"Do we need a reason to contemplate life and death?" Bhatia asked.

"Do we?" Williams knew that Bhatia was holding back something.

"You have spent too much time with me," Bhatia smiled as a shiver ran through her. She had been having them all day as the previous night's dream kept coming back to her mind.

"I'm waiting," Williams was not one to let things go.

"I had a nightmare last night," Bhatia confessed as another shiver caused her to hug herself slightly.

Potgieter, who had just started splashing water on the back of his neck stopped and looked up at her, "What did you dream, Nirali?"

Bhatia moved in between the two as she began, "I was swimming and I came across a wall of marble. It was so beautiful, Aaron … I felt as if the wall was calling to me, pulling me in. But then as I started to give in, it began to turn red … dark red … with clots of black tearing away at it … The black clots started to reach out like tar and I was afraid."

"What did you do?" Potgieter asked, mouth open.

"I tried to swim away," Bhatia answered, "that's when I saw it."

"Saw it?" Potgieter was caught up in her dream.

"The elephant made of steel," Bhatia said wide-eyed, causing Potgieter to unconsciously mimic her look, " … the tusks were caked with flesh and blood, the eyes were black and cold …"

"… black and cold …" Potgieter whispered as Williams raised her eyebrow at him and Bhatia continued.

"It was moving straight towards me and before I knew it …" Nirali slapped her hands together.

"Holy shit!" Potgieter who had been squatting fell over at the sound of her slap, "that must mean something, right?"

"It means that dinner disagreed with her," Williams shook her head as she stood, putting the top on the filled canteen and looking at Bhatia, "It was just a dream, Nirali. That's all."

"You are probably right, Ashley." Bhatia smiled, "I was having trouble sleeping last night as it was."

Potgieter still down on his butt, looked up at Nirali, "That ain't surprising … did you notice how quiet it was last night?"

"You noticed too?" Bhatia said, "The Aba crickets were silent, that can't be good."

"Oh, man," Potgieter wiped his face, "Something bad is going to happen."

Williams shook her head, "You two and your superstitions. Nothing bad is going to happen ... unless you count us being stuck out here all day."

Corporal Vieira, who had also been listening, added, "So true, Ash! What a shit assignment! While the 232 gets to sit up in the camp with the scientists and real shitters we are out here with the gas bags and bushes! I swear this place is going to kill us with shit details and boredom!"

Williams handed the filled canteen back to Bhatia as she silently seconded the feeling with the Corporal and then walked towards the main settlement. Eden Prime was a beautiful planet and a great place to get a tan but Williams wanted to be out in the Terminus Systems stopping the slaving rings that had captured and sold humans. Hell, she wanted to be given a chance to show what she was capable of and not left groundside because of her last name. The main colony was barely visible from where they were and she couldn't believe that even on Eden Prime she was somehow giving the shittier of the two assignments. Maybe one day she would be given a chance. Maybe one day her family name would not hold her back and she could prove her value … maybe even restore her family's honor. _Sure … like that is ever going to happen_, Williams thought as she checked her weapon.

* * *

><p>The bottle smashed against the SSV Normandy spraying Atlantic sea water on her hull and on the Senator Varus who was christening her. Standing just to the side of her was Admiral Hackett who was ducking the spray as well as ensuring that the Senator did not fall out of the bucket that had brought them out and over to the side of the vessel. The possibility of her falling out was highly unlikely but he was always a cautious man. Experience had taught him that nothing was impossible. Although this was not the first flight of the Normandy it was the first time that it would go through a mass relay and so this was its day to be christened and receive its official launch.<p>

The Senator had been pleased to see the young Lieutenant again and after smashing the bottle she looked over at her. Shepard was standing next to Anderson looking not at her but at the vessel and watching the sea water dripping off of her. Senator Varus smiled at Shepard as she leaned into the Admiral and said through a smile so as not to be understood by anyone but the Admiral, "Is she privy yet to where her career is going?"

"I don't believe so," Hackett answered in the same fashion as he looked over at Shepard, "The Captain wanted to tell her with the turian present."

"I see," Varus said, grabbing on to the rail and Hackett's extended arm as the bucket began to move slowly back, "You realize that she will not be pleased with this development?"

"What?" Hackett was sure that he had misunderstood what was just said by his old friend.

"Come, Stevie," Varus laughed at his shock. "Was there anything in her file that would suggest otherwise?"

Hackett looked over at Shepard again who was now smiling as the Alliance Band played _Wings To Flight_. "She must accept this, Claudy."

"Of course she must," Varus said smiling towards the media and their cameras as the bucket drew closer. "And Shepard will accept ... but I'm afraid that we will be more pleased than she will."

"Then why did you ensure that she was approved?" Hackett looked at Varus who was still smiling at the media; _I will never understand women_, "What kind of soldier would not want this honor... this ... ?"

"Power?" Varus finished. "The only kind of soldier … human or otherwise, that should ever be allowed to be a SpecTRe. Shepard has never been comfortable in her hero role nor has she ever abused it. Not once have I seen or heard of her using her past record to advance or receive special favors."

"Why should she?" Hackett asked. "Everything came to her without her needing to ask."

Varus gave a short laugh, "And every time she has accepted without desiring it."

Hackett shook his head, "Why would a woman accept what she doesn't desire?"

Varus turned and looked at Hackett, "Duty. That has no sex … and you know that! She feels a duty and I would hazard a guess that she is here for personal reasons. But not reasons of greed ... Something to do with Mindoir."

"Revenge?" Hackett felt the bucket lurch slightly and Varus held his arm tighter. It made him feel good.

"Nothing so base as that," Varus said in disgust. "No ... her reasons would be of a more noble set."

"So that is why you were so quick to step in the ring for her all these years?" Hackett looked deep into her eyes.

Varus turned away from Hackett and smiled again at the crowd … through her smile she answered, "Do not flatter me with false words, Stevie. I am not above base motivations and as such that was not my original reason for moving her forward." The memory of her son and his death passed in her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Claudy." Hackett had seen the shadow pass over her and regretted causing her pain, no matter how brief.

Varus patted him on the arm and gave a faint smile, "It's okay ... My original reasons were selfish but not for this role. This will require someone special because they will represent all of us ... She does not abuse her position, want for promotion and is here out of duty. What she is being offered has the weight of being a hero. That ... times a hundred ... She will not want it, it will weigh heavy on her soul, but she is the only individual that I would trust in that capacity. The only individual that may have a chance of not being corrupted by it and most importantly on the galactic stage showing the best of what we humans are to the other species."

Hackett looked down at the Senator as the bucket was being lowered onto the stage, "I am glad that you are on our side, Claudy."

The Senator as the door on the bucket was opened whispered into the Admiral's right ear, "She will need a support system, Admiral. I will leave that to you to ensure that it is the best."

"She doesn't need anything with you on her side," Hackett laughed as he took her hand and they started walking with her back to the podium.

* * *

><p>Shepard looked past the Senator, the Admiral, media, brass, politicians, everyone and looked at Liam. He had surprised her and showed up at the launch in his Sunday best. He was smiling and looking at her with such pride that she wished that she could feel for him the way he felt for her. That was always how it went, Shepard wishing that she could fully reciprocate feelings but coming up empty. Maybe if she just tried harder ... or faked it. Maybe with time she would love the person. As the Admiral and Senator walked back to the podium she thought of her last hours at her aparment early in the AM. He had made her breakfast at 0430 as she showered. She had thought that he was still sleeping and it made her laugh with joy as she saw the table set and him holding a cup of coffee as she came out of the bathroom.<p>

As she sat at the small dining table and he put a Spanish omelet on her plate, he had asked her if she had ever wanted to do anything else.

"You mean other than being in the Alliance?" Shepard had asked as she picked up a slice of bacon off the plate.

"Yes," Liam really wanted to know everything about her.

"Hmm," Shepard took a small bite and thought as she chewed. "Well, let's see. I wanted to be a ballerina, a concert pianist, a doctor, a swim teacher to a krogan, a-"

"Wait," Liam laughed, "a swim teacher to a krogan?"

A small smile crossed Shepard's face as she took a drink of orange juice, "I was ten. Don't ask."

"What do you mean 'don't ask'? … You can't say that then expect me to drop it, you know?" He pulled the glass of orange juice away from her.

"Can't I?" Shepard reached over and kissed him.

"No fair!" Liam closed his eyes as she kissed him again.

"You want fair?" Shepard whispered, as she slid onto his lap and began kissing his neck, "Let me use you once more before I hit the road."

"You mean space?" Liam pulled away from her.

Shepard ran her hand through his hair and nodded, "Uhm … space. So does that mean yes?"

The memory of that early morning release made her smile as she looked over at the Normandy again. The sea water was no longer dripping off it and Shepard was once again struggling with her life choices. She was wondering if this was really what she should be doing. The Alliance. She could go back to school and get her medical degree … There was so much doubt, so many questions, no one to really ask for guidance. The older she got the more she realized that she needed her mother's wisdom. But she knew that her mother would advise her to leave the Alliance. This was not what her mother would ever want for her … or her father if she were being really honest. He would have supported her, pretended that he was happy, but he would have lost sleep every night … Of course it would have been more about all the male soldiers then the bullets. _Maybe after this mission_, she thought. _Maybe I could take an early leave._

She looked back at Liam; _I could just marry him, make a home and have children. Would our son look like dad? Would our daughter look like momma?_ An image of her children running between her and Liam crossed her mind. Shepard looked down at her medals … _Haven't I done enough? Ricky would understand wouldn't he? Ricky_ … the image of him being chained somewhere, jagged scar where they put the chip in his head, some creature owning him … hurting him all these years … while she laughed, fucked, moved in freedom he was what? Chained, raped, confined ... the thought caused her to flinch. _No_, Shepard looked at Liam. _It's not about me or what I want … not until I find Ricky_. _If he is alive he will be freed! This I swear. _This was her constant internal struggle. It was also a part of her push, strength and need to stay in control came from. Back and forth her mind went. One minute ready to walk away and be an everyday person … then the next knowing that she would never leave until she had her friend home. Until Ricky was on Illium, marrying that asari what's-her-name, working at some boring job and having his blue babies ... or his body placed in a grave next to his mother and sister on Mindoir, would she be free to truly live her life.

* * *

><p>Nihlus had been observing Shepard all day and he was pleased at what he saw … She had a way of controlling those around her, of being the center without even trying and he was amazed at the way it did not seem to affect her. As he had watched her move through the crowd earlier he had found her movements so graceful that she reminded him of the asari on Thessia. Asari. <em>Tela should be here<em>, Nihlus thought wickedly. _My old friend would fall into her web easily_. He thought of that vid on her among the asari and the way she looked like a forbidden fruit among them. It had made him laugh as she denied them in a way that he had thought impossible of humans. Not that he didn't know of humans who hated the asari and were even petitioning a bill to add human to the definition of marriage as more humans started mixing with the aliens, especially the asari. The Alliance frowned on interspecies relationships but made no public stand on it since it might cause friction between them and the Council's acceptance and support of all relationships. But every soldier, officer and citizen working in the Alliance knew that it could be a death to advancement to take an alien as a partner. This was a mutual feeling between the turian government who also discouraged turians with humans.

In their brief conversation earlier in the morning Nihlus was surprised that Shepard was aware of his social customs, unaware that it was because of him that she had studied his species. After their battle on Antibaar, she had studied his kind with a passion in order to read them, to understand them, to kill them quickly. She had in fact did that with all the council races, studying them to better prepare for any possible future conflicts. She had even started learning their languages ... starting with the batarian standard language. Next time she met one of them she was prepared in more ways than one to cut them down.

As he spoke with her he was slightly frustrated that unlike other humans, he could not understand her motivation or desires. He saw no greed, no lust for power or arrogance. But he also saw that her politeness was a wall. She was shielded in mind and in absolute control of herself, leaving him unable to really see her. The more he studied her the more he realized that she was not like the other humans that he had met. No, she was different. Despite her wall, he believed that she was what he had hoped the new species might be … strong of mind, emotionally in control and self-sacrificing. But she was not perfect; part of that imperfection was revealed in her choice of a companion … a suppliant and not an equal. Nihlus could not believe that she had lowered herself to this human.

* * *

><p>"Why him?" Silas asked Kaidan and Helen as he looked at Liam just twenty paces away from them. "I don't get it."<p>

"I don't know," Helen was looking at Shepard and Anderson talking together on the stage, "Kaidan, do you?"

"What?" Kaidan, who had been deep in thought about the upcoming jump through the mass relay, looked at Helen confused.

"The Commander," Silas answered, glad to have any reason to look into Kaidan's brown eyes so close, "why is she with him? I mean, she could be with anyone."

"Like you?" Helen teased, knowing Silas' desire for the Lieutenant.

"Well," Silas looked embarrassed, "I was thinking someone like – like you." He said looking again at Kaidan. "I mean she's beautiful and your handsome … anyone would want either one of you."

"Hell, I'd take both of you at the same time," Helen laughed. "And I'm not even into guys! But you smell too good to not give a try!"

Kaidan put his hand to the back of his neck, "I think I need to take my position on the bridge."

"You would take them both as well," Helen whispered to Silas as she then followed Kaidan.

Helen was right, Silas had been attracted to Kaidan since day one of meeting him and it was the same with Shepard. Unlike Helen, he did find both men and women attractive, but after spending these past few months with Kaidan he would gladly give up sex with everyone else, settle down and commit to Kaidan … Silas looked at Shepard and frowned. _But anyone could see that h__e likes you, hell, he wants you more than the waitress … I can tell_. Silas thought. _I hope that you are really in love with that loser or at the least don't like Kaidan. I'll never stand a chance if you do like him_.

* * *

><p>Williams was face down in the stream, the water no longer clear but red with blood … Alliance blood. It had happened so fast, one minute they were getting ready to move out … then death. None of the soldiers had ever seen the geth before and so many were unsure of how to respond. Williams had fought as her unit was quickly overpowered … They had tried to get off a distress signal as they fought and all of them experienced pressure in their head as they watched a ship, unlike any other, come down from the sky. Williams had taken down at least thirty of them as her fellow soldiers stood next to her and fought, died, hid and in some cases even ran.<p>

They were quickly pushed back to the stream where they had earlier been laughing, cooling down and resting. A blast had scorched Williams' left side and had thrown her into the deeper part of the stream, the water carrying her twenty feet down as she struggled to gain control. She had heard Bhatia call out her name as she went under. This gave her the added strength to get back in shallow water but her energy was drained. She threw up water as she used every last drop of her strength to move closer to dry land.

_Dear God_, she prayed as she tried to stand_, please help me_! She had not made it in far enough and the current was too strong … it knocked her back down, pushing her yet again deeper into the water and as she saw geth off in the distance heading towards her she grabbed on to her weapon tight just as the stream began to push her on. The last sight that she remembered before going under yet again was Bhatia lying on her back next to the stream. _Oh, God … please no! _

* * *

><p>"I searched for cracks and the wanting parts I fixed, three sari of bitumen I poured over the outside, to the gods I caused oxen to be sacrificed." Kaidan said as he took his seat next to Joker.<p>

"What the hell does that mean?" Joker asked as he shifted in his seat.

"It's an old Babylonian description of a ship's completion," Kaidan answered as he began to check his console.

"Old?" Helen asked as she put her headset on. "How old?"

"It's from the third millennium," Kaidan answered, checking the time. "BC."

"You mean PU …" Joker cracked, pushing his cap lower on his forehead.

"Okay, Joker." Kaidan shook his head. "Everyone nervous?"

"Nope," Joker rubbed the console, "She is all mine and we are about to take her for a real spin."

"Did you get in on the bet?" Helen asked the two.

"Bet?" Kaidan asked.

"I went O for O …" Joker responded as he reviewed his readings.

"You don't think the Normandy will have any problems after going through?" Helen shook her head. "I went with the thrusters …"

"You two are betting on the problems we might have going through the relay?" Kaidan compared his readings with Joker's.

"Hey," Joker defended himself, "At least we are betting that she holds up!"

Helen tapping on her headset joined in, "Some guys in the other areas are betting we break apart in tiny pieces! A surprise gift from the turian part of the design."

* * *

><p>"Shepard," Liam smiled as she came to him.<p>

"What are you doing here?" She returned the smile. "I thought I left you exhausted in my bed."

Liam looked at Shepard's hands and held them, "When you get back I would like to ask you something."

Shepard knew that look. She had seen it on men before and her stomach sank. Funny how she had briefly contemplated settling for him, marrying him and now as he was about to verbalize it she knew that it would never work … never last. She would never marry unless it was for the same reasons that her parents did. Love. Shepard stepped closer as she held his hands tighter, "Liam, I'm not sure how long I'll be out there. Sometimes you go out on a mission that is scheduled to last a week and six months later you return."

"I can wait," Liam thought that she might think he would stray.

Shepard squeezed his hands, "Don't ... Make sure that while I'm gone that you see other lusty women."

Liam felt tears bite at him as she said those words and it left him cold, "Is that what you'll be doing?"

"Chasing lusty women?" Shepard tried to soften the message as she saw the hurt in his face. "Wasn't on my to-do list but if you want me to."

"Be serious," Liam stepped closer to her, letting her hands go and putting his arms around her waist.

Shepard quickly pulled away, "Not here, Liam."

"Don't want the guys to think you aren't available?" he shot and quickly regretted.

Shepard looked up into his face and frowned, "I told you … no promises. Please. I like us … I like spending time with you but … I need freedom. I need you to know that it's okay to not wait. To find comfort if needed with others. To fall in love with someone else."

"I know ... Sorry," he answered as she moved away from him. "I just … I want more but ... I won't push ... I just need to know that you feel-"

"When I get back," Shepard cut him off as she saw more of her crew boarding the Normandy, "we can talk then … but I must go."

Without a kiss or brush of the cheek, no words of _I love you_, Liam watched as Shepard turned and moved through the crowd towards the Normandy. He knew that she did not love him, that she would take lovers while gone … but he hoped that if he was patient enough, understanding enough and was open in how he felt … she would one day love him. Marry him. Have his children. One day.


	12. Distress Calls

"The Arcturus Prime relay is in range," Joker announced, wishing that the Commander was there to see him at work. "… Initiating transmission sequence."

Kaidan took a deep breath and silently said a line from a Buddhist prayer to himself, "_May the frightened cease to be afraid and those bound be freed."_

The turian SpecTRe had made both Kaidan and Helen jump just slightly as he moved into the room while Joker was too in his groove to even notice … "We are connected ... Calculating transit mass and destination."

Shepard had spent the last hour down in Engineering with Adams and his team when Anderson called her to the bridge "to enjoy the moment, Commander."

Shepard felt a rush at what they were about to do, understood the risks at what could potentially go wrong on this jump and did a final check where it counted before stepping up next to the SpecTRe. She had spent the last few hours in preparation, but now all she could do was stand by as her mother was heard in her soul ... _Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by. _Shepard smiled thinking that even now her mother was present and putting her at ease. _I hope you enjoy this flight_, she teased her mother's ghost. _Tell dad it's the Serenity_.

Joker fought smiling as he caught her in his peripheral vision and continued, "The relay is hot … Acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit."

Kaidan looked back at the Commander who despite her concerns appeared relaxed and confident when the SpecTRe turned to look at him. Kaidan felt uncomfortable with the turian and he quickly turned back to his console and thought, _Fill your mind with compassion_.

Joker wished that he could blast the Reticulating Splines' _Workin' the Ratchet_ on the speakers but … "The Board is green. Approach run has begun … Hitting the relay in 3…2…1…"

* * *

><p>Her left side was hurting where the blast had hit her; her hands were cut to shreds as she had removed her gloves to try and get a better grip on the slimy rocks. She couldn't get a good grip with her damn gloves on but using her bare hands had resulted in cuts. She cursed under her breath, as the razor cuts began to sting, but she was now standing back on the shore and that is what mattered. She could hear the firefight off to her left and as she started to head there she heard movement to her right … Scared she raised her weapon almost shooting a fellow soldier.<p>

"It's me!" Private Potgieter almost screamed with blood streaked across his chin.

"Aaron!" Williams looked around them, "Anyone else with you?"

"No … Nirali is … oh, dear god! They … they killed," Potgieter began retching and Ashley grabbed him as he almost fell over.

"Pull it together, soldier." She told him. "We have got to get back to the settlement."

Potgieter still bent over cried, "What? I ain't going back! We have to run."

"Aaron," Williams could feel the anger in her rise, "we can't run away. We have to go warn the others!"

"Warn?" Potgieter couldn't believe what he was hearing, "You don't think they saw that big ship? You don't think they know? If we go back then we die!"

"Private Potgieter," Williams pulled away from him, grabbed his weapon and checked it as she continued, "we are going back there and warning the others. If it means that we have to fight them … if it means that we might die … so be it … we are soldiers!"

As Williams put his rifle in his hands, Potgieter fought another turn in his stomach and shook his head yes. He watched as Williams began heading for the dig site and he stopped her, "Wait! Where are we going?"

Williams pulled him behind a rock and answered, "There is only one thing that those things might want … that beacon. I'm sure that if we go there we will find more soldiers. We will find help."

"Promise?" he asked fighting tears.

Williams began moving forward saying nothing … promising nothing. Just praying that help would be there when they arrived … _Please God, let there be help there. Don't let us die here. Not like this._

* * *

><p><em>No, no, no! This … this wasn't … Oh, Goddess … how did this happen<em>?_ Who is here to help?_

Just an hour earlier, Liara had been working on the floor one level lower. She had been in heaven as she slowly continued to uncover the south wall that was white with red flecks. It was true … even though the process was slow and tedious it made her happy. She loved to use her hands, to use her gift of the brush to reveal hidden secrets … to reveal the past. She could see the shape of something starting to appear as she moved farther down the wall and had she not bent down to clean her brush they would have seen her. She would have had no chance to take flight.

She instantly upon hearing movement, knew that they weren't part of her team. The team was not due to arrive back for another three weeks and so she stayed completely still. As the sound of movement came closer she crouched lower ... she slowed her breathing as she heard the voice of a krogan, "Dr. T'Soni? We know that you are here ... we saw your log."

Liara looked around, trying to see an escape route and was almost in tears as fear overtook her. The krogan and the two geth with him moved closer to where she was and she caught her breath upon seeing them. The sound of the geth confused her … _Geth? But how_? Her mind began to race as she grabbed the small hand shovel she had been using earlier and slid behind a crate.

"Dr. T'Soni! Do not keep us waiting ... the Matriarch sent us to get you." The krogan called out as he motioned the geth to check each side of the pit.

_Mother_? Liara was confused. The Matriarch would never send a krogan to retrieve her … never. She would have sent an acolyte and commandos. She would have sent asari not a krogan … and definitely not geth. _Mother, have these creatures hurt you? I don't understand_.

"Dr. T'Soni, stop hiding!" the krogan was getting angry and starting to toss crates aside as he looked for her. "If you do not come out I will not be so gentle when I find you!"

Liara saw the geth past her and knew that it was a now or never moment. She took off running and as the geth turned and caught her she stumbled ... as she turned her upper body in the direction of the geth, the shovel hit it in its head knocking it back. She lost the shovel as it slammed against the geth's head and caught herself on a crate. The krogan roared at her and she fought losing power of her legs and took off running again. The krogan seeing her in-flight again hollered in rage, "Stop or you will make it worse for you!"

As Liara pushed harder towards the elevator, towards her escape, she could hear the geth make their odd noise and moving quick towards her. Just as she jumped into the elevator and closed the door the geth she had hit on accident was pulling on it, trying to open it. Liara gave out a small scream, holding the door shut as she used her legs to reach behind her and tap the control with her foot. She heard a blast come from the krogan who was deeper in the pit and she caught her breath as she saw the second geth start climbing the scaffolding. _Oh, Goddess! Move! Move! Move! _Liara yelled at the elevator.

"Stop the asari!" the krogan could be heard as the elevator started moving up towards the next level. "Kill her if you need to!"

As the elevator came to a stop Liara could see the geth pulling itself up onto the catwalk and she could feel the panic starting to freeze her legs again. _No, keep running! You must not die_! She looked around and there it was … The console. Liara held her breath as she started running towards it and as she hit the tiles she started to slide. Everything after that was a blur as the next thing she knew … she was spread eagle in the air as the krogan bellowed in rage again, "Even if I have to tear you apart to get you out of that … I will! Saren will take you either way, asari!"

_Saren?_ Liara wanted to scream as her body refused to move. She looked back over to where the console was and a tear ran down her cheek. The struggle to keep her head in that position was tiring and so she let her body go and she went face forward. As she watched the intruders move about trying to get past the barrier she could hear her cousin, Sibila, "I can just see your future. Somewhere you are stuck in some prothean trap to rot! I can see that happening!" _No, I will not rot here … I must find a way out and then … then I must find mother. She must be in danger! Oh, Goddess! Please send someone to help me … I can't die here. Mother needs me. _

* * *

><p>There was laughter, high fives, congratulations and money being exchanged as the Normandy had passed successfully through the Arcturus Prime relay into the Utopia System. Kaidan had let out a sigh of release as Shepard said a private thanks to Hannah's God while Joker continued his moment of glory, "Thrusters … check. Internal emissions sink engaged. All systems online. Drift… just under 1500 K."<p>

Nihlus had waited long enough; he was ready to tell Shepard what was planned for her. "1500 is good. Your captain will be pleased."

As Nihlus went to prepare for the meeting, Joker admitted, "I hate that guy."

Kaidan, feeling a slight cramp in his neck, shook his head, "Nihlus gave you a compliment…so you hate him?"

"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom? That's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that's incredible!" Joker stated as he sat up a little taller. The commander had remained silent so he continued, "Besides, SpecTRes are trouble. I don't like having him on board. Call me paranoid."

"You're paranoid," Kaidan said. "The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

"Yeah, that is the official story." Joker sometimes couldn't believe how others could be so naïve and trusting of the suits. "But only an idiot believes the official story."

Shepard looked down at Joker and knew that he was probably right, she had been wondering why she had been assigned to the ship last minute and a turian SpecTRe also placed on board, "They don't send SpecTRes on shakedown runs."

"So there's more going on here than the Captain's letting on," Joker added, happy that the Commander had agreed with him and not 'biotic boy'.

Before he had time to rub it in, the Captain broke in "Joker, status report."

* * *

><p>Joker's voice was heard in the comm room as Nihlus stood by preparing for Shepard, "Just cleared the mass relay, Captain. Stealth systems engaged. Everything looks solid."<p>

"Good," Anderson had been on the CIC standing over the map prior and after they had successfully jumped he couldn't help but smile at his crew. But the celebration had been short-lived as the turian walked by and went into the comm room. He knew that it was time to bring his Lt. Commander up to speed. "Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass before we reach Eden Prime."

"Aye, aye, Captain," Joker responded. "Better brace yourself, sir, I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant," Anderson would have definitely replaced the pilot if he weren't the best.

Nihlus was getting impatient and he moved in front of Anderson, "Get Shepard. It's time."

Captain Anderson moved away from the SpecTRe and instructed Joker, "Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing."

"Remember Captain," Nihlus said, "She must accept this position."

"She will," Anderson said and hoped. "Please excuse me while I check on Engineering."

"Of course," Nihlus knew that the Captain could have just called down but it would give him some time alone with Shepard. As the minutes ticked by and she did not appear it began to make him angry. He was about to go look for her when she entered the room, "Commander Shepard, I was hoping you would get here first. It will give us a chance to talk."

Shepard was surprised to find only the SpecTRe in the room and kept her distance, "The Captain said he would meet me here. "

"He's on his way," Nihlus said. "I'm interested in this world we are going to … Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful."

Shepard looked at him knowing that he was not interested in Eden Prime, "They say it's a paradise."

"Yes … a paradise," Nihlus tried reading Shepard again and the wall was impenetrable, "Serene, tranquil, safe. Eden Prime has become something of a symbol for your people, hasn't it? Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy but also protect them. But how safe is it really?"

* * *

><p>"So what do you think we are really doing out here?" Pressly had come into the bridge.<p>

"See!" Joker looked at Kaidan, "We all know that there is a reason other than a simple run."

"Both of you," Kaidan shook his head as he stood up and removed the headset, "there is no ulterior motive or secret mission."

"That's not what the Commander said," Joker mumbled.

"What did the Commander say?" Pressly asked.

"That I was right!" Joker answered looking at Kaidan. "… oh, yeah .. and you were wrong!"

"That's not wha-" Kaidan started.

"I knew it," Pressly cut off Kaidan. "I knew that this wasn't a normal mission. This sudden need for a shakedown run months ahead of our scheduled date? Not to mention that we have Captain Anderson, Commander Shepard and a turian SpecTRe! A SpecTRe! This cannot be just a simple run."

"And next week you two will solve who shot John," Helen laughed at Joker and Pressly.

"Ha!Ha!" Joker glared at her, "Just mark my words … there is definitely something-"

"What the …" Helen cut him off as her eyes got wide. "Holy shit!"

"What is it?" Kaidan asked walking closer to her.

"A distress signal," Helen answered as she switched the speaker on in their area for review. "A recorded distress signal from Eden Prime!"

* * *

><p>Captain Anderson had returned to the comm room and revealed to Shepard the true reason for the mission. Shepard listened as Anderson informed her that the Alliance had reached out to the Council and agreed to hand over the prothean beacon unearthed there for further study. <em>Why would humanity, not knowing what might be locked in that beacon, just hand it over<em>? Shepard thought as she looked at Nihlus and then at Anderson … she had to ask and did so in front of the SpecTRe, not caring that he knew of her distrust.

He understood her concern and was glad to see her cautious nature peek out … _No, Shepard_. He thought; _Trust no one … not us and not your own_. As Anderson started to try and answer in a way that was appropriate in front of the turian, Nihlus stepped forward, "You humans don't have the best reputations. Some species see you as selfish … too unpredictable, too independent ... Even dangerous."

"Sharing that beacon will improve relations with the Council," Anderson added, even going a step further since the turian had been honest, "Plus we need their scientific expertise. They know more about the protheans then we do."

_So is this why you are here?_ Shepard thought as she looked at Nihlus. _No, something more … but what? _

Nihlus could see her trying to understand his presence and said, "The beacons not the only reason I'm here, Shepard."

Shepard took a slight step back, eyebrows lowering and Anderson seeing her defenses starting to rise said, "Nihlus wants to see you in action, Commander. He's here to evaluate you."

Nihlus had been watching her since the previous evening and it had not gone unnoticed by Shepard. There was only one reason why a SpecTRe would evaluate someone and Shepard was not happy, "I guess that's why I bump into him every time I turn around."

Anderson sensed Shepard's displeasure and explained, "The Alliance has been pushing this for a long time ..Humanity wants a larger role in shaping inter-stellar policy … we want more say with the Citadel Council. The SpecTRes represent the Councils power and authority. If they accept a human in their ranks it shows how far the Alliance has come."

"You held off an enemy assault during the Blitz, single-handed." Nihlus could not have her reject the opportunity, "You showed not only courage, but also incredible skill … that's why I put your name forward as a candidate for the SpecTRes."

"Why would a turian what a human in the SpecTRes?" Shepard asked, but that is not what she was thinking. He had slipped and she had been there to catch it. While others may give her false credit for 'single-handedly' fighting the ground forces on Elysium … not a SpecTRe. No. He would have known that she had not been alone … But there was a place that she had fought alone … fought turian. Antibaar.

As Shepard thought of her Bowie knife tucked in her boot, Nihlus was telling her, "Not all turians resent humanity … Some of us see the potential of your species. We see what you have to offer to the rest of the galaxy. And to the spectres. We are an elite group … it's rare to find an individual with the skills we seek. I don't care that you're human Shepard, I only care that you can do the job."

Shepard heard truth in his word, knew that he had left her body to be found … he had changed his mind and wondered if this was why. SpecTRe? Shepard looked at her Captain, "I assume this is good for the Alliance?"

"Earth needs this, Shepard," Anderson pushed, "We're counting on you."

"I need to see your skills for myself, Commander." Nihlus had seen her body shift, get defensive and realized his own slip. _Do you know_? he thought as he said, "Eden Prime will be the first of several missions together."

"You'll be in charge of the ground team," Anderson, unaware of the two individuals ready to battle each other if either made a false move, continued, "Secure the beacon and get it on the ship ASAP. Nihlus will accompany you to observe the mission."

Shepard had seen the turian shift and knew that they both were completely aware of each other's slightest move. She knew how to kill him swiftly if needed but a part of her said that he would not harm her now. Not here at least, she thought as she said to Anderson while not breaking eye contact with Nihlus, "Just give the word, Captain."

Anderson said, "We should be getting close to Eden-"

"Captain," Joker's voice sliced through the room, "We got a problem!"

_Shit!_ Anderson did not want to hear problem … "What's wrong, Joker?"

"Transmission from Eden Prime, sir." Joker said as Shepard and Nihlus continued to look at each other, "You better see this."

Anderson moved to the back of the comm room, "Bring it up on screen."

The screen appeared and caused Nihlus and Shepard to stop looking at each other as the video threw shadows in the room along with soldiers fighting. Shepard's attention was brought to the screen as a female soldier was seen running towards the camera yelling, "Get down!" As they pulled closer to the screen the personnel with the camera had falling down on the ground, but was still filming the assault. Shepard forgot about the Spectre as she watched the conflict and saw a male officer onscreen yelling, "We are under attack, taking heavy casualties … I repeat, heavy casualties! We can't …we need evac.. they came out of nowhere! We need-" followed by a humming sound, bits of madness and then nothing.

Joker's voice followed, "Everything cuts out after that .. no comm traffic at all. Just goes dead. There's nothing."

Anderson had seen something and instructed his helmsman, "Reverse and hold at 38.5"

The three were looking at a ship unlike they had ever seen. The ship appeared to be reaching down and Shepard hoped that they were not too late.

"Status Report!" Anderson was glad that he had both the Commander and the SpecTRe on the ship. This mission had in a blink changed.

"17 minutes out Captain … no other Alliance ships in the area," Joker knew that the shit was about to get real ... as did Shepard.

"Take us in Joker … fast and quiet," Anderson instructed. "This mission just got a lot more complicated."

Nihlus looked at Shepard and then then Anderson, "A small strike team can move quickly without drawing attention. It's our best chance to secure the beacon."

Anderson looked at Nihlus, "Grab your gear and meet us in the cargo hold." He then looked at Shepard, "Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up, Commander. You're going in."


	13. The End of Eden

"I grew up on Eden Prime," Corporal Jenkins told Kaidan as they walked into the elevator.

Kaidan, with his helmet off and placed under his right arm, stepped next to Shepard who was rubbing what appeared to be an ornate piece of jewelry in her hand, like a worry rock. She saw him looking at her hand and she put it in a pouch attached to her belt, "Good luck charm," she said.

He would not have thought her superstitious and wanted to ask her what it was and where she got it ... but he could see that she was not open to discussion. She was focused on the upcoming mission. So he looked at Jenkins, "What is your home world like?"

"It's really peaceful," Jenkins answered as he watched the Commander slide her Bowie knife out of its sheath and check the blade. "I mean … it was. They were real careful with development ... so we didn't have any city noise or pollution."

"Is your family still living there?" Kaidan asked with concern in his voice.

"My parents use to live on the outskirts of the colony but they moved back to Missouri a year ago." Jenkins answered as he dropped his helmet. "My parents missed vacationing in Branson and fishing on the ole Miss."

Shepard watched him pick it up as she started the elevator, "Is that why you left?"

"No," Jenkins answered as a big grin spread across his face, not really believing that the Commander Shepard had actually asked him about his life. "Mags was a great place to grow up …"

"Mags?" Kaidan cut in.

Jenkins dropped his helmet again as he tried to adjust the strap, "Oh, Magnolia Springs ... We just called it Mags for short. It was a smaller farming community about twenty miles from the main settlement, Constant. At night when I was a kid, I'd climb this big hill and stare across the fields back at the lights from the main settlement … it was gorgeous. But, when I got older … I realized that it was a little too calm and quiet for me. That's why I joined the Alliance … Even paradise gets boring after awhile."

"And look," Kaidan noted as the elevator slowly moved down to the garage, "Here you are back home."

"My parents won't believe it," Jenkins slightly choked, "But today I can prove myself, you know … and actually help my own people!"

Shepard knew that he meant well and he reminded her of the boys she had known on Mindoir … colonist kids. During their short time together she knew that had Tyler, Freddy or even Ewald grown up to be young men they would be like Jenkins. It was their memory that made her go easy on him when she said, "Just calm down, Corporal ... A good soldier stays cool even under fire."

"Sorry, Commander," Jenkins looked over at Kaidan and then back at her, "but this waiting's kinda killing me. I've never been on a mission like this before … I mean with you and maybe even with a SpecTRe … No one in my old platoon will believe that I went on a mission with you."

"Just try and treat this like every other assignment you've had and everything will work out," Shepard instructed as the elevator came to a stop.

"Easy for you to say … you proved yourself in the Blitz," Jenkins called out as Shepard exited the elevator towards Anderson. "Everybody knows what you can do. This is my big chance! I need to show the brass what I can do!"

Shepard stopped and turned to him, "A lot of people died on Elysium … there were no heroes there, just survivors and dead bodies. The Blitz was not there for my own personal gain ... it is not something to be glorified. Don't dishonor the dead there by implying that it was a stepping stone for me."

"I'm sure that he didn't mean anything by it, Commander." Kaidan spoke up, trying to help Jenkin's misstep with the Commander.

Shepard ignoring Kaidan, but also knowing that she may have been a little too hard in her response, softened her tone, "You're young Corporal … you've got a long career ahead of you. Don't do something stupid to mess it up."

Jenkins looked embarrassed, "Don't worry, ma'am … I'm not gonna to screw this up."

As Shepard turned back around and walked towards Anderson, Kaidan patted Jenkins on the back as he moved past him, "Just do your job, Richie."

"Uh, yah." Jenkins began putting his helmet on. "I mean … yes, sir!"

* * *

><p>Williams was experiencing a side stitch after running so long. Private Potgieter and she had walked right into another ambush with the geth just a quarter mile into their trek and they had been running off and on ever since. The settlement had been over five miles away and while Williams could run that on the treadmill this was a rough five miles and she was not alone. The terrain was not flat but hilly, wooded and in some areas interrupted with the curving streams and her fellow soldier was not as capable as her.<p>

Potgieter had at one point stopped altogether and she had tried to carry him. Williams was a strong believer in no soldier left behind, but even though he wasn't a big man, her muscles strained at his weight and she was struggling to hold him up. They had finally stopped after she had struggled for over a mile and as they sat down that's when she heard them … drones. She pulled Potgieter up and when he saw the metallic objects her took off past her. "It's about damn time!" she yelled as she took off after him.

It was only a mile into the run that he had started lagging behind her again and she screamed, "Keep moving!" The two crested a hill and started sliding down … Potgieter lost his footing and fell. Williams heard the snap of his neck as his helmet flew off and she hoped that she was wrong, that he wasn't … _oh dear God, Aaron_. Ash looking at the way his body was positioned instantly knew that she was right, he was dead. She slowly bent down next to him, removed her helmet and silently recited the Lord's Prayer … as she finished she felt her fear increase as she realized that she was alone and then she froze. Froze because right above her head the drones appeared and her heart began to pound hard in her chest. She almost cried out in relief as she saw that they had not seen her right below them ... She had put her hand over her mouth as they moved slightly to her left and she knew that if they moved just another few feet a rock would block them from her view. She would have pulled up her rifle but any movement now could draw attention to her so she remained with her hand over her own mouth ... so quiet and still.

When they finally disappeared from view, Williams put her helmet back on and began to run … run as fast as her legs could. She tried jumping over a downed tree just as the drones came back into view ... Williams hearing the drones move around the rock just ten feet away, fell over the tree and bit down on her lip. As she scrambled back up on to her feet she tasted her own blood and knew that her hands were bleeding again as well. _Why not_, she thought as quickly stood, _my lips, hands and side should come in matching colors ... red_. Her strained legs pushed forward and she was thankful that she had started long distance running just a few months past. It was saving her life, or at least giving her a fighting chance. If only she could get rid of the drones or at least the stabbing pain in her side she just might make it.

_Please God let there be soldiers at the beacon! Please!_ Williams continued to pray as she slid yet again down a hill as the drones continued on her heel. With every step Williams hurt and she knew that she was almost at the end … that if she didn't see help soon that she would be the end of the 212.

* * *

><p>Anderson stood before the trio, "Your team's the muscle in this operation Commander … go in heavy and head straight for the dig site."<p>

"What about survivors, Captain?" Kaidan asked.

"Helping survivors is a secondary objective." Anderson instructed the team, "The beacon is your top priority."

Joker cut through the headsets … "Approaching drop point one."

Nihlus appeared and Jenkins asked excitedly, "Nihlus, you coming with us?"

Nihlus looked over at Shepard, ignoring all the other humans. He knew that his slight misstep had tipped her off and it pleased him. It showed him that even in discussions she was quick, attentive and heard even what wasn't said. _You will be one of the best agents once I have trained you out in the field, Shepard_, he thought as he said, "I move faster on my own."

"Nihlus will scout out ahead." Anderson told the team, "He'll feed you status reports throughout the mission. Otherwise, I want radio silence."

Shepard looked over at Nihlus and wished they were already finished … _I have questions that you better answer when we complete this mission, SpecTRe,_ she thought as she said, "We got his back, Captain."

Nihlus gave a slap to his chest, an act of honor towards Shepard and then jumped out.

Anderson looked at the Commander and knew that he was sending the best as he told her, "The missions yours now Shepard … Good luck."

Joker's voice cut in again … "We are approaching drop point two."

* * *

><p>The first thing that assaulted the trio was the smell of burning flesh as they looked out at the blackened terrain. Shepard felt all of her senses go on high alert as they started moving towards the dig site and location of the beacon.<p>

Jenkins seeing his home planet scorched broke radio silence as he said more to himself, "Oh, God … what happened here?"

Shepard put her hand up to her helmet where her ear was to instruct him to listen as Nihlus cut in, "This place got hit hard, Commander. Hostiles everywhere … Keep your guard up."

As the trio passed a stream, Kaidan saw creatures with sacs on their backs and blurted, "What the hell are those?"

Jenkins seeing the species replied, "Gas bags … don't worry, they're harmless."

Shepard hearing the two commenting on the local wildlife shook her head and moved forward. It was then that she saw the first of many victims … A family of six. The youngest must have been around two and they were huddled together, the parents had tried shielding the children as they were shot. Two feet away were two more adults burned to death. Shepard knew this was not batarians when she saw the children, they would have taken them and killed the parents.

As they came to a hill, Shepard looked up and upon seeing no movement waved the two forward. As Kaidan moved quickly, Jenkins hesitated and three drones appeared from up the hill using his momentary pause to their advantage. As the young Corporal fell to the ground, Kaidan began firing to give cover to Shepard who then moved next to him. She pulled out her rifle and took aim as the drones moved closer to her and the Lieutenant. Shepard had never seen biotics being used before. She had only heard about them and as she took down the two drones she saw the third caught in some kind of field and then thrown, smashing against a tree.

She was amazed at what she had just seen Kaidan do and had newfound respect for him. She then watched him head directly to Jenkins and bend down, closing the fallen brother's eyes. "Ripped right through his shields … He never had a chance."

Shepard then saw Kaidan close his own eyes and she didn't know if he was saying a prayer or not, but it wasn't the time or place. She pulled him up and said, "We'll see that he receives a proper service once the mission is complete … but I need you to stay focused."

Kaidan, looking into the face of Shepard and instead of seeing the woman … he was looking into the eyes of the warrior. Even with her helmet's shield on he could see ice in her eyes, a deadliness that made his balls crawl up into his stomach. Battles fought … Mindoir, Elysium, Antibaar … all reached out and the darkness was frightening. He had never seen anyone look at him with such dark, cold eyes before and all he could muster was "Aye, aye, ma'am."

* * *

><p>Williams wasn't far from where the beacon was but as she got closer she didn't see any soldiers. <em>No!<em> Her mind was screaming as she pushed on. _Please send me help! I don't want to die, not here! Not today!_

Just above the hill, Shepard and Kaidan watched the soldier as she ran towards them … Her legs were so tired and in one last ditch effort she tucked and rolled, spinning on her back and firing. Shepard smiled as she saw the drones shatter as the soldier's aim was true. She had been ready, scope up to her eye, but the soldier was deadly accurate and Shepard lowered her rifle, smiling as the soldier hadn't needed her. She then turned to Kaidan, "Go show her that she's not alone … I'll be right behind you."

As Shepard motioned Kaidan to the soldier they were not privy to what Williams saw as she knocked off the drones. She had seen a colonist placed over some kind of spike, his body pulled across and then the spike drove through him. _Dear God!_ Williams couldn't believe what she had seen and she forced her body to move forward. As she slid around a rock, she leaned against it believing that she might be in her final moments. Then she heard movement … _Please make this quick!_

As Williams opened her eyes expecting to see geth moving in, she saw a human next to her and she thought she must be dreaming … Dream or not, she watched with the Alliance officer as the two geth were dropped without either aiming a weapon. As the threat was removed, Williams' legs gave way and Kaidan caught her, "I'm Lieutenant Alenko and this is Commander Shepard."

Williams still being steadied by Alenko looked towards the direction that he was looking and saw the Commander with her sniper rifle descending the hill. "Thanks for your help, Commander. I didn't think I was gonna make it."

Shepard walked past her and looked at the things that she had shot, confused at what she was looking at. As she bent down next to one she saw the shadow of the soldier pacing, "I'm Commander Shepard …" she said as she continued to examine the enemy, "and you?"

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212," Williams answered, as she struggled to stay standing.

Shepard stood and looked over at her, "Are you wounded, Williams?"

"A few scrapes and burns," Williams answered as she thought of her injuries, "nothing serious. The others weren't so lucky. "

Shepard looked at the beaten soldier and seeing her exhaustion pushed her to focus outside of her body, "Give me a status report, Williams."

"Oh, man … We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack hit," Williams began as she started to pace, "We tried to get off a distress call but they cut off our communications. I've been fighting for my life ever since."

Shepard looked at William's damaged armor, the blood stained on her shirt below her left breast, only visible because that part of her armor was gone. Shepard could see that the soldier had been through hell and that she was in pain but trying to push past it, "Where's the rest of your squad?"

"We tried to double back to the beacon, but we walked into an ambush," The side stitch ache was slowly going away as she continued, "I don't think any of the others … I think I'm the only one left."

Shepard could hear the pain, the guilt in those words and stepped closer to the soldier, "This isn't your fault, Williams. You couldn't have done anything to save them. "

"Yes, ma'am," Williams choked out. "We held our position as long as we could … until the geth overwhelmed us."

"The geth haven't been seen outside the veil in nearly 200 years," Kaidan looked at Shepard who was now walking back over the two kills, "Why are they here now?"

Williams saw the Commander squat next to one again and look at the weapon it was carrying, "They must have come for the beacon ... The dig site is close, just over that rise … It might still be there."

_Geth!_ Shepard was pissed. Pissed at her own ignorance. She had started studying other species so that she knew their weaknesses, ways to kill them quick, to torture them if necessary … If she were looking at a batarian she would know her enemy. Turian, asari, krogan … the same. Not geth. She had not even thought of studying them. "What else do you know about the geth?"

Williams moved closer to where Shepard was, "Just what I remember from history class back in school. They're synthetics. Non-organic life forms with limited AI programming, created by the quarians a few centuries ago. They were supposed to be a source of cheap labor, but ended up turning on the quarians and drove them into exile. Well after that, they just kinda disappeared behind the Perseus Veil. Nobody has heard much from them since."

Shepard stood and looked in the direction of the beacon, "And the beacon?"

Williams took a deep breath and answered, "They were doing some digging out here to extend the monorail and expand the colony … a few weeks ago they unearthed some prothean ruins and the beacon. Suddenly every scientific expert in the colony was interested. That's when they brought us in to secure the site. I don't know much about the beacon itself but I heard one of the researchers say this could be the biggest scientific discovery of the century."

"What happened to the researchers at the dig site?" Shepard asked, cold eyes looking into Williams'.

"I don't know," Williams felt her throat slightly close up as Shepard's eyes turned a little colder. "They set up camp near the beacon … the 232 was with them. Maybe their unit fared better than mine."

Shepard knew that the soldier was exhausted, that she needed medical attention, but the mission came first, "We could use your help, Williams."

Williams was expecting to be pushed to the side, seen as nonessential and was shocked at the request. She looked at Shepard and without hesitation she answered, "Aye, aye, ma'am. It's time for payback."

* * *

><p>Nihlus had been watching the Commander from afar and had been pleased once more by her abilities. She had quickly accessed and taken control of the situation, not losing her way when she had lost one of her own. No … She had not let her emotions stop her, had not let the dead bodies of her kind weaken her. He had watched her easily destroy a dozen drones and even a few geth which made him wish that he had left more for her to better review her combat abilities. He had taken out more than Shepard since landing, helping to pave her way, but he was stronger and more skilled than her. He knew that she had much to learn but after what he had just seen … she was paces ahead of other candidates that he had seen in the past. <em>I will try and not underestimate you abilities again, Shepard<em>.

He then watched as she moved past the dig site and would have waited for her but he saw movement farther ahead … so as he started to move on, "Change of plans Shepard. There's a small space port up ahead … I want to check it out. I'll wait for you there."

As Nihlus watched Shepard he did not realize that he too was being watched. Saren Arterius had seen him and was patiently waiting at the train station after purposely drawing Nihlus in that direction … he waited for his old friend and knew that despite that friendship no one could get in his way. No one could disrupt his plans. As he watched his friend a part had hoped that Nihlus would stop and go in the opposite direction. He could only hope that something would stop what was about to happen. Stop what he had to do.

Nihlus moved down the hill, seeing no one on the station platform and approached it cautiously. As he began his sweep of the area it was then that he saw his trusted friend … "Saren."

"Nihlus," Saren looked at Nihlus and for a brief moment he felt the need to confide in him, to try and get him to join in his plan. He needed someone to confide in. He didn't trust the Matriarch, he had never trusted her. But he knew that Nihlus would not understand … could not understand. _No_, his mind yelled back at him. _He must die!_

"This isn't your mission, Saren," Nihlus was confused. "What are you doing here?"

Saren moved slightly closer, "The council thought you could use some help on this one."

"I wasn't expecting to find the geth here," Nihlus said as he turned away from his friend to see if he could see Shepard yet. "The situations bad."

"Don't worry," Saren answered as he raised his weapon, "I've got it under control."

As the shot rang out and he watched his friend fall Saren knew that he had lost a piece of him. What he had done was without honor and no matter how he justified it; a part of him was shamed. So as Nihlus lay dying Saren bent over him, "Sleep friend … I will see that your family is provided for."

"Why?" Nihlus asked as he felt his life slipping from him.

"Survival," Saren answered just as two geth approached making him bend down lower and say just loud enough for the dying friend to hear, "I know that you won't understand but I am doing this for our kind. We must have a chance to go on when they come … I will see to that."

In his final moments Nihlus thought of his children as Saren put his hand on his chest and asked for his forgiveness. As the minutes passed, Saren watched until the final breath was taken and exhaled by his friend.

* * *

><p>Liara did not know how long that she had been there but she knew that it had been at least two hours since the krogan had left. Not that she believed that he was gone for good … she knew that he would return just as angry if not more so. The krogan with his team of geth had tried to blast through the barrier and her heart stopped when she heard him say that if they could just get to the console they could drop the shield. <em>Oh, no! <em>She had thought as her eyes got wide, _if he touches the wrong thing he could make it even worse!_ She wasn't as worried about him bringing down the barrier but blocking them all in and that would be that. If that console was isolated they would have no chance of ever getting free and that would mean … _death! Oh dear Goddess … please don't let that happen. I must get out of here and find mother. She must be in danger._

* * *

><p>Saren looked at the beacon hoping that it would reveal not only the location of the gateway to the Citadel but also secrets to prevent indoctrination. Just maybe the protheans had found a way to stop the poisoning of the mind and he could use it. He had seen the Matriarch with her strength slowly fall under it and he could not let that happen to him. <em>The Matriarch<em>, Saren bitterly thought of how she had initially looked down on him. Not anymore. Now she would do anything that he instructed and he had used that for both Sovereign and his own personal pleasure. But she wasn't who he really wanted.

The Matriarch had vast knowledge but she had failed in understanding the prothean codes … But he knew that her daughter might have the knowledge that he needed. The Matriarch had initially fought bringing her to the ship, refused to get her involved … but now these past few weeks the Matriarch was more in-line with what he wanted and so she had agreed. "Liara," he said as he stepped closer to the beacon. "You should be reunited with your mother in due time and she will make sure that you are an obedient daughter."

He had liked the way that Dr. Liara T'Soni looked when he first saw her on Illium at the Opik Dinner … so innocent and yet promising. There was intelligence in her eyes, haughtiness to her carriage and her eyes … so blue. If her aunt had not been there he might have taken her back to his suite that very night and taught her how a true turian found pleasure with an asari. _Soon_, he thought as he turned to one of the geth, "Set the charges … destroy the entire colony. Leave no evidence that we were here."

As he thought of what he was going to do with the Matriarch's daughter once she was in his presence he walked up to the beacon, _Liara …_ _soon I will have you_.


	14. Message in the Beacon

The team had just left the cargo shed that contained Dr. Warren, the researcher in charge of the excavation site, and Dr. Manuel. The conversation had shed no more light on what the beacon was for but it did reveal that the current events had made at least one person snap from reality. Shepard could relate to how Dr. Manuel felt … her moment of potential snap came when the husks appeared. She had always hated zombies … okay, fear would be a more appropriate word. It had started after sneaking into a theatre with Ricky and Tyler to see _The Zombie Drool_ when she was nine. That night and the next couple months of nights she found it hard to sleep. Every branch against the window, every rustling of trees and trash cans moving in the wind caused her eyes to go wide and her head to pop down under the covers. She would have run into her parents' bedroom but then she would have had to tell her mother what she had done. Stealing … Stealing a movie theater seat because she wanted the extra money for more popcorn, soda and a snickers bar. Nope, she may have been afraid of zombies, but that was no match against the preacher woman. So she suffered in silence, just as she was doing this day. No, today she could not let her team know that every part of her wanted to run when the husks appeared. Instead, she bit down on her bottom lip, stood fast and focused on making sure that neither Alenko nor Williams was killed by one of the stinking, flesh peeling, zombie looking creatures.

As they moved away from the researchers, Williams felt physically exhausted and emotionally depleted, her left side down to a dull throb at last but her hands were starting to stiffen, and Alenko was starting to move slower as well after using his biotics. He was more tired than he should have been, but he knew that it was partly due to him holding back. If he wasn't restraining his body he would be much quicker at bouncing back. But as both were exhausted, Shepard was just getting starting. Both were amazed at how the Commander seemed to have more energy and drive as they continued on.

It was good that they did not know what was driving her ... pure unadulterated fear. Besides the fear of knowing there had to be more zombies waiting, there was also something in Dr. Manuel's ranting that hit a nerve. As they moved toward the space port and away from the research camp she kept hearing his words "_We have unearthed the heart of evil … awakened the beast. Unleashed the darkness!"_ _Darkness of drool!_ Ricky cracked in her head. _C'mon ole Shep! What's a zombie or two? Ty and I are here with you and we ain't letting nothin' bad happen._ Shepard cracked a smile as she saw Ricky with a baseball bat and Tyler falling off his bike for the millionth time. _Worst case scenario ... if the zombies do come and try to get us then poor ole Ty will fall down and they will eat him while we run away! _Ricky always did make her laugh at the most inappropriate times. Shepard knew that she was using her mind to lighten her fear, using her memory of Ricky and Tyler to keep her moving forward ... _Hey, whatever works ... right_? She saw the boys running ahead of her. _Everything will work out!_

As the Alliance trio came up around the bend the air seemed to turn into a dry heat as Alenko's teeth began to ache and a massive black ship began to ascend towards the heavens. The sound was deafening and Shepard could just barely hear him exclaim, "What is that off in the distance?"

Williams moved next to Alenko, "It's a ship! Look at the size of it!"

* * *

><p>The sound of the ship caused the trio to huddle closer as the heat rose inside the cargo bin. Just as Phoebe started to cry and Blake whimper, the sound was gone and the room back to normal. Cole moved closer to the door as he heard movement just outside again. As he placed his ear against the door he could hear something scrapping against the side and knew that whatever those dead things were, they were back again trying to get to them. He looked over at Blake and Phoebe huddled in the corner and pulled out the pistol that he had found in one of the stolen packages.<p>

That's when they heard the others … Phoebe pulled away from Blake, "Are the soldiers back?"

"Shhh," Blake had been silent until that moment, "… we can't chance it!" Blake was not about to leave the safety of the locked cargo bin. Not for anyone or anything.

Cole looked at his two friends still semi-cowering, "We need to get help. They might have a ship or a command base where we would be safe."

"What?" Blake did not want to see those dead things again, "We are safer just staying-"

The battle outside their hiding place seemed to go on for over half an hour ... Phoebe had started crying and Cole started praying as Blake put his hands over his ears. They had all agreed that if those things got to them, Cole would shoot the other two and them himself. He wasn't sure that he could do it ... _Please send help_, he prayed as he looked at the pistol. _I couldn't ... No, I just_. Then there was silence. They listened for any kind of movement and all three caught their breaths as they heard from the other side of the door, "This is Commander Shepard of the Alliance … Come out with your hands up."

Cole looked at his two friends, placed the pistol on a crate next to the door and then followed the instructions, "Keep calm out there! We're coming out and we're not armed!"

"Is it safe? Are they gone?" Phoebe peeked out and seeing the three soldiers came out pulling Blake with her.

"You're okay now," Shepard said as she lowered her weapon "Nobody's going to hurt you."

"Those things were crawling all around the shed," Blake said. "They would have found us for sure. We owe you our lives."

Phoebe agreed, "Ah … I still can't believe it. When we saw that ship I thought it was all over."

"It showed up right before the attack," Cole told Shepard. "Knew it was trouble the second I saw it so we made a break for the sheds."

"What else can you tell me about it?" Shepard had never seen a ship like that herself.

"I was too busy running to get a clear look at it," Cole admitted without shame." I think it landed over near the space port."

Phoebe prodded, "Tell them about the noise Cole … That awful noise."

"It was emitting some kind of signal as it descended," he explained." Sounded like the shriek of the damned. Only it was coming from inside your own head."

Shepard remembering the sound herself, "It was probably trying to block communications."

"Well, whatever it was … it felt like it was tearing right through my skull," he said, which told her that she had just a slight taste of the ship's sound and that it had been stronger than what she had just experienced as it left." It almost made it impossible to think."

Shepard focusing back on the main goal of the mission asked, "Do you know anything about the prothean beacon they dug up?"

"We're just farmers," Cole said almost apologetically, "… we heard that they had found something out there but it never really mattered to us. Not until now."

Shepard looked out over the platform below, "Tell me everything you remember about the attack."

"The three of us were working the crops when that ship showed up," Cole answered. "We just saw it and ran. I don't know what happened to the rest of the crew."

Blake rubbing his cheek added, "They were by the garage …over by the space port, right where that ship came down. No way they survived."

Shepard heard the female almost cry, "You don't know that! We survived! If they made it to the garage they could've had a fighting chance!"

Shepard looked at Williams and then back at the farmers, "Well, you should be safe for now. Just stay in the shed and I'll have someone come and get you once we have secured the area."

Blake said to his friend, "Hey, Cole, we're just a bunch of farmers … these guys are soldiers. Maybe we should give them the stuff."

Cole could not believe it … "Jeez Blake! You gotta learn when to shut up!"

Shepard slightly raised her weapon, "You have something to tell me Cole?"

Cole shook his head, but seeing the ice in her eyes, "Some guys in the space port were running a small smuggling ring … nothing major. In exchange for a cut of the profits we'd let them store packages in our sheds."

"You greedy bastard!" Williams cut in, "You weren't running for your life, you were running to check on your merchandise."

"No! It's not like that … I just …. I just knew there was some packages here … something we could use … I found a pistol." Cole quickly explained as Williams moved closer. "Figured it would come in handy if those things came back. But … you'll probably get more use out of it then we will."

Williams hated thieves and as he pulled the pistol from the shed and went to hand it to her, she fought the urge to pistol whip the bastard with it, "Who's your contact at the space port, Cole? What's his name?"

Cole was afraid of this soldier, "He's not a bad guy … I don't want to get him in trouble. Besides, I'm not a snitch."

Shepard stepped in front of Williams, "He might have something to do with this whole attack, Cole. We need his name, it's important."

"Yeh, okay … you're right." Cole felt less safe with Shepard then Williams and he didn't really know why. Williams was more vocal and physically aggressive in posture but Shepard … there was something unmerciful about her. Just below the surface of her calm demeanor he saw it. "His name is Powell. Works the docks at the space port, if he's still alive."

"No honor among thieves," Williams said to Alenko who was really starting to like her no bullshit ways.

Shepard took the pistol from Williams and gave it back to Cole, "You might need this, we have weapons. But if I find out that you have shot one of us due to carelessness I'll come back here and make you swallow your tongue. Understand?"

"Yes, ma'am." Cole answered, trying to hand the weapon to his friends as they both declined and moved away from him.

* * *

><p>As they walked up on the platform Alenko saw the dead SpecTRe, "Commander … its Nihlus."<p>

Williams looked down and was surprised to see a … "A Turian? You know him?"

Shepard nodded as she saw her future as an agent with the Council bleeding out onto the platform. She had not wanted the job but this was not how she wanted to get out of it either. Kaidan looked at Shepard but couldn't read her … was she angry? Confused? What? He then looked over at Williams, "He's a SpecTRe. He was with us on the Normandy."

Shepard was about to bend down and check the turian … after all he had escaped death before and she needed him to be alive_. _Not dead_. I have too many questions unanswered, damn it! I need to know why you saved me … why you put my name forward. Dang! Ding! Dong! Frubit! Could this day get any worse?_

Williams not letting her guard down spied movement behind the crates as Kaidan watched Shepard and Shepard cursed at how cursed this mission had become. "Something's moving … over behind those crates."

Shepard and Alenko both followed her example and raised their weapons as a colonist appeared, "Wait! Don't … Don't shoot! I'm one of you … I'm human!"

Shepard realizing how she had let her guard down was angry at herself and the anger seeped into her voice as she said, "Sneaking up on us like that nearly got you killed."

The colonist seeing the look in the woman's eyes was now scared more than ever, "I .. I'm sorry. I was hiding from those creatures. My name's Powell … I saw what happened to that turian. The other one shot him."

Shepard growing more frustrated as each step forward only seemed to go farther downhill didn't want to ask but … "What the hell are you talking about?"

Powell leaned against a crate, "There were two turians here. Your friend and another one he called Saren. I think they knew each other. Your friend seemed to relax, he let his guard down … and Saren killed him. Shot him right in the back. I .. I'm just lucky that he didn't see me behind the crates."

_Another turian? SpecTRe maybe? What the hell is really going on here … Freakin' zombies, geth, dead SpecTRe, prothean beacon _… then came that nutcase researcher's sermon ... _We have unearthed the heart of evil … awakened the beast. Unleashed the darkness!_ Shepard's mind was running a mile a minute but she needed to stay focused on the mission … to secure the beacon, "We were told a prothean beacon was brought to the space port … what happened to it?"

"It's over on the other platform," he answered. "Probably where that guy Saren was headed. He hopped on the cargo train right after he killed your friend. I knew that beacon was trouble … everything's gone to hell since we found it. First that damn mother ship showed up … then the attack … they killed everyone. Everyone! If I hadn't been behind the crates, I'd be dead too."

Shepard had to think, had to get her mind off the zombie things, "You're Cole's contact here on the docks for the smuggling ring."

"What?" he began to stumble, "No! Uh … I mean .. What does it matter now? So I'm a smuggler … who cares? My supervisors dead, the entire crews dead … doesn't matter now, does it?"

"Anything hidden nearby that we can use against the geth?" Shepard asked as her mind went closer to the edge ... _Anything to use against the dead, stinking, freakin' flesh ... sweet Jesus! Now I know how you felt about the shuima, pops. This sucks! I cannot give in to this very creeped out ... Crap!_

"A shipment of grenades came through last week," he admitted. "Nobody notices if a few small pieces go missing from the military orders."

"You greedy son-of-a-bitch!" Williams blew, "We're out here trying to protect your sorry ass and all you can think about is how you can rip us off?"

"I never thought that you'd actually need those grenades," he answered just hoping that the soldier didn't drop him, "Who'd wanna attack Eden Prime? We're just a bunch of farmers. How was I supposed to know?"

* * *

><p>"Anything yet?" Silas asked as he came onto the bridge.<p>

"Nothing," Helen answered as she put her mic on mute.

Joker was silent as he thought about the Commander down there with just Kaidan and some unknown soldier. There were reports of geth being down there … Geth! And a fellow soldier had died … He hadn't been close to Corporal Jenkins but it showed him that whatever was down was … it was serious and she was in the middle of it. "If biotic boy doesn't protect her I'll … I'll … I just said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yep," Helen laughed as Joker pushed his hat over his eyes and dropped lower in his seat. "But it's the Commander who will protect Silas' biotic boy!"

"How can you two … I mean is it true about Richie?" Silas asked as the rumor regarding Corporal Jenkins was running rampant on the ship. "Is he really dead?"

Both Helen and Joker became serious while remaining silent … that was enough for Silas to know that it wasn't just a rumor.

"Joker!" The voice of the Captain cut into the room. "Status update!"

Joker sat up, "We are bringing the Normandy around to the west side of the space port ... The Commander and her team is heading there and will let us know when the beacon is ready for extraction, Captain."

"I want to be updated on everything," Anderson barked. "If they lose a shoe I want to know!"

"Aye, aye, Captain." Joker answered.

"Is Kaidan still alive?" Silas finally asked Helen, "I mean … you wouldn't hide that from me, right?"

"No, I would tell you," Helen answered as she went back to her duties. "He and the Commander are still alive and kicking."

"Good," Silas said under his breath as he left the area.

"Geth!" Joker shook his head as he tried tapping into the surveillance cameras in the space port area, "How the …"

"Fuck if I know," Helen answered as she tapped her headset.

* * *

><p>As the final demolition charge was silenced on the east side of the space port Shepard sat down on her ass, removed her helmet to wipe off the sweat. "According to my readings," Alenko said to her, "this was the last one … but I am getting readings on the west side of the port."<p>

"More Geth?" Williams asked as she flexed her hands, trying to fight the stiffness. They had just pushed their way through three dozen of them as the Commander silenced four bombs. The Commander was precise with the sniper rifle and in between her stops at the ticking treasures she was knocking the enemy off ... sometimes two at a time. Williams knew that this was indeed the Commander Shepard of the Blitz.

"I don't know," he said looking at his omni-tool. "But ... it's movement so most likely."

_Zombies_, Shepard couldn't help but think as she put the palms of her hands against her eyes. _Stop complaining_, Shepard told herself. _At least the geth used basic demolition charges … anything more complicated and this planet would not have survived. Or us … so be_ "grateful."

This was the first word from Shepard since being with the smuggler and Alenko looked down at her, "Commander?"

Shepard got up and motioned towards the bomb, "That the geth used such basic bombs."

"Are you complaining?" Williams asked, trying to lighten the mood. "Should we tell them to try again? We could go get coffee ... they could set up four new bombs and double the geth."

Shepard shook her head no as she smiled at her, "I'm just surprised that I didn't blow us up even on these low level items. Anything more complicated and I'm afraid that we would have been in different zip codes ... our bodies, that is."

"Wait," Alenko looked at Shepard, "you are a demolition expert, right? You didn't … uh, you-"

"She's teasing us," Williams said with a short laugh. "Right, Commander?"

Shepard looked at her weapon, "Well, let's go dance with some geth on the promenade."

"Seriously," Williams whispered as they started moving out, "You did know what you were doing, right?"

"Shhhh!" Shepard instructed as she moved down the balcony and froze as they heard the familiar sound of the spikes freeing husks. "Oh dear Bacchus!" Shepard let out as she heard over a dozen spikes go off.

"That doesn't sound good," Williams said, "You don't suppose a spike or two malfunctioned and there are only three or four?"

Shepard fought laughing hysterically as she tried to count the number of spikes sounding ... as the spikes kept sliding she felt her stomach twist, "Where is Ty and his bike when I need them?"

"What?" Williams asked, thinking it was code for something.

Alenko stepped in front of the two and motioned them to stand back, "If I wait until a batch of them start up the ramp I might be able to knock them back."

"Batch?" Williams shook her head, "They aren't cookies!"

Shepard mumbling about this being her "absolute worst nightmare" and shouting, "Come on! Would you stop already!" as a spike went off yet again ...got down on one knee and pulled her sniper rifle up towards the ramp of no return.

"How many?" Williams asked no one in particular as she moved to Shepard's right and pulled out her assault rifle.

Alenko looked at the Commander prepared to impress her with his biotic abilities. _Maybe the migraines are worth this moment_, he thought as he saw the first wave moving towards them.

"You ever bowl, Commander?" he smiled as he lifted his right hand and blue energy appeared.

"If you get a strike," Shepard smiled at Alenko, "I'll buy you dinner."

As he blushed, Williams joked, "Hell, I'll let you do body shots off me."

Shepard and Alenko both laughed at that despite the hell coming at them ... they laughed harder as they heard the ramp make noise under the weight of the husks … Alenko looked back at the two women. He was not a smooth talker or courageous with women as a rule but looking death in the face he asked, "So dinner and body shots?"

"Yes!" Williams and Shepard said in unison.

Alenko turned to face the husks, "… watch this strike."

* * *

><p>"Joker, status report!" the Captain bellowed as he entered the bridge.<p>

"We're just 10 minutes out, Captain." Joker answered as he continued to try and hack into the system. "The Commander has deactivated all of the bombs and we are waiting on her request for pickup."

"Did we get a confirmation on the SpecTRe's death?" Anderson asked.

"Uh, yes sir," Helen answered. "Lieutenant Alenko has confirmed that the turian was killed. He said that a witness reported that a turian named Saleen? No, Siren … I-"

"Saren?" Anderson felt his blood turn cold.

"Yes sir!" Helen breathed a sigh of relief. "His name was Saren and apparently he knew the SpecTRe. The Lieutenant says that the Commander will have a complete update once they are back onboard."

"Yes!" Joker had tapped in ... "Oh, shit! No!"

"What?" Anderson was in no mood for this.

"If they survive," Joker sounded nervous. "By this vid feed there are over two dozen ... what the fu- ... zombies?" Joker hated zombies.

"Zombies?" Helen repeated the word as her eyes got big.

"And geth!" Joker said, "They are outnumb- … no wait, strike! You go biotic bitch boy!" Joker yelled as he pumped his right arm. "Now there is a doz- … oh, man the Commander got two for one on that shot! Sweet! My angel of ..." Joker looked back at Anderson and cleared his throat. He then turned back to the vid as Alenko threw a group of husks ... "There is … duck unknown soldier! Man, that musta hurt!" Then there was no movement.

"Joker?" Anderson asked the suddenly quiet pilot.

"Never mind," he smiled as he turned off the feed, "Home team at 3 standing strong and visitors ... I got nothing."

"Play that back," Anderson instructed his pilot.

"Sure," Joker smiled. "Can we have beers while watching? This is better than any sports I've seen."

* * *

><p>Shepard reached down and pulled Williams up from underneath a pile of husks, "Are you okay?"<p>

"Okay?" Williams looked over at Alenko, "Why did you throw them towards me?"

"You were supposed to duck!" Alenko answered as he kicked a crawling geth from his leg at the same time that Shepard shot its head off. "Nice shot!"

"Thanks!" Shepard answered as she walked over to the far west edge past the beacon.

Williams followed her and they both looked out at the destruction … "My god! It's like someone dropped a bomb," Williams said.

Alenko came up behind them, "That must be where the geth ship landed."

Williams thought of Eden Prime just the day before, "We thought this world was safe until the geth showed up ... It used to be beautiful here."

Alenko put his hand on Williams' shoulder, "Eden Prime will never be the same again."

Williams dropped her head as she finally allowed herself to think of her unit, of the dead soldiers … "Somebody's gonna pay for this."

Shepard walked away from the two and as she passed the beacon she looked at it thinking, _I sure hope that you are worth all of the lives lost here today_. She then instructed the Normandy that it was clear to extract both the beacon and the team.

Alenko watched the Commander walk away and then he turned his attention on the beacon that seemed to have some type of energy coming from it, "This is amazing! Actual working prothean technology. Unbelievable!"

Williams was surprised at the energy emitting from it, "It wasn't doing anything like that when they dug it up."

Kaidan stepped closer, "Something must have activated it."

Shepard looked at Williams as she walked towards her, "Roger, Normandy! Standing by."

Alenko started walking closer to the beacon and as he tried to stop the beacon flashed and continued to drag the Lieutenant to it. Shepard seeing him defenseless and in trouble pushed Williams to the side and ran to him. As she pulled Alenko out of the way the beam's energy now had her and as she tried to move away she realized that it … it … she was raised up, powerless and caught in a tidal wave of images and sounds.

Alenko wanted to save her and he reached out, "Shepard!"

Williams seeing that the Commander was already lost held him back, "No! Don't touch her! It's too dangerous!"

Shepard's body was rigid as her mind screamed out … the images were violent, begging, brutal, pleading! Her head felt as if it was going to explode and she struggled to hang on. She fought. She fought the pressure and as she struggled to not get consumed by the energy she heard a tearing in her mind and screams. _You will not have me;_ she heard her own internal cries. _You will not take my mind, my memories_. The tearing continued in her mind, the pain running through her making her scream internally with every part of her being. _You must hear me_, the images screamed back. _You must understand or all of you will die!_ The internal struggle ended as the transfer was completed, as her mind pushed the invader out, as the beacon exploded and Shepard fell back to the platform.


	15. A Mummy & Sleeping Beauty

Dr. Jamin Bakari had just dressed Williams' wounds and while she was glad about the painkiller administered to her she felt like a mummy with her hands all bandaged. "Is this really necessary?" She asked as she waved her hands to highlight the excessive wrappings.

Bakari picking up his tray, nodded as he said, "Ja."

Williams tried pulling out her pistol and couldn't pick it up, "I'm a soldier! I can't have my hands like this. I'll be dead before I even get my weapon out!"

Dr. Chakwas, was checking on Commander Shepard, who was still unconscious, when she looked over at the new addition to the Normandy, "Are you not happy with our services? Shall I have your head wrapped as well by Dr. Bakari?"

"No, ma'am … I mean, …" Williams looked at her hands, "I just … I-" she waved them again.

Chakwas, holding back from laughing at the excessive wrapping, went over to Williams and smiled, "You will need your hands bandaged for just a few days. The healing ointment works fast. Just suffer the Boris Karloff fashion."

"Boris who?" Williams asked.

"It's not important," Chakwas smiled as she went to her station and sat down while Bakari put away the unused bandages.

"Yes, ma'am." Williams gave an embarrassed smile as she jumped off the biobed.

Alenko had just finished briefing the Captain when he entered the medbay. "Any change with the Commander?"

"No," Chakwas answered as she keyed the latest readings into Commander Shepard's medical file located in the Alliance Medical DataBase. "She is still not awake … but all her vitals look normal so we will just have to wait."

Alenko stepped next to Shepard and looked at the unconscious woman. She was just as beautiful sleeping and he thought of the fairytale. _Maybe if I kissed her_ … "She isn't in pain … is she?"

Chakwas looked over at Alenko, "Not according to the readings, but …"

"..but?" Alenko asked concerned, knowing that whatever happened to her was his fault. His brief romantic idea of kissing her awake and that kiss making it all better made him get angry at himself. This wasn't a fairytale but reality. She might die and it was his damn fault!

"There is some unusual brain activity," Chakwas answered as she motioned toward the biofunction monitor … "Abnormal beta waves."

"What does that mean? Brain damage?" Williams asked.

"That means that she needs rest and you two need to go shower," Bakari broke in as he stated the obvious. Both Alenko and Williams stunk to high heaven as did Shepard. Bombs, sweat, blood, tears, fear all had an odor that clung to a soldier … remedy was a long hot shower with plenty of soap and shampoo. "Shower!"

"But not together," Chakwas added as she showed them the door. "If there is a change, I will let you know."

"Oh, about that body shot," Williams said as the door to the medbay shut behind them.

Alenko, embarrassed at his moment of daring rubbed the back of his neck, "Uh … why don't we forget that."

"Really?" Williams raised a brow. "You mean that you won't hold Shepard or me to that promise? I mean ... the Commander and I figured that we would each go half on dinner and let you take body shots off both of us ... That strike was sexy."

Alenko began to blush as he headed towards his cabin to get his toiletries and take a cold shower.

* * *

><p>The Matriarch knew that the news she was about to deliver was going to enrage the SpecTRe once again … and his anger was only getting worse. After returning from Eden Prime he had been silent, almost remorseful, but she did not know why. He had also declined her joining minds to see if she understood the visions left by this beacon. No … he was shutting her out.<p>

Nihlus Kryik was on his mind … they had been friends. This was not what he wanted, to kill those he cared about. _But he would not have understood_, he thought as he put his hand over his eyes. _If only there had been another way … Nihlus._ He saw Nihlus' faustal, Licinia, and their two offspring, Sulpicia and Septimius … _I had no choice._ And then he thought of Nihlus' nomination of a human, and _you betrayed us! Why should I regret … no. Licinia_ … his mind went to her. The pain that she would feel and his children. _But I had no choice … he would not have listened. No, I had no choice._

Benezia, standing behind the silent SpecTRe cleared her throat, "We've identified the ship that touched down on Eden Prime ... The Normandy. A human Alliance vessel. It was under the command of Captain Anderson. They managed to save the colony."

"And the beacon?" he asked.

"One of the humans may have used it," she answered.

The thought of the warning being placed in the hands … in the mind of another caused Saren to throw Benezia's chair across the room and grab her face. He could have just snapped her in two but as he looked into her eyes he knew that he still needed her. "This human must be eliminated." Not that he believed the human had survived. They had weaker minds then other species as far as he was concerned. The human was probably dead or at the least a raving lunatic by now. But if the human had survived then death was the only answer.

As he stormed out of the room, she knew that she would need to use her influence to locate this human and then the death would be quick. As the rotting Matriarch moved forward, Benezia prayed inside her … she prayed that allowing Saren to send krogan and geth for her daughter would warn Liara. It had taken so much of strength to silence her memories so that the indoctrinated part of her would not know or advise Saren that Liara would only respond to her acolytes. _Remember daughter_, she prayed. _Remember that time in the park._

* * *

><p>The Matriarch's household had been staying in Serrice at her small villa located in the exclusive area of Politia while she was giving a month of lectures at the University of Serrice. Liara and her private tutors had been brought along for the stay … and it was one afternoon after giving a speech at the University on the importance of educating themselves on other species … languages, customs, habits, ideas … that her young daughter of just thirteen had met her in the Serrice Square Park. The Matriarch had been busy for the past three weeks and had instructed her acolyte, Shiala, to bring Liara to the park in front of the memorial to their ancestor Cerelia T'Soni and leave here there.<p>

"Mother!" Liara had said in joy as she saw the Matriarch approaching alone. This meant that it was their time … mother and daughter.

"Liara," the Matriarch had smiled back as her daughter waited for her to pat her leg.

"Mother!" Liara whined as the Matriarch reached the memorial and stood a few feet away not giving her daughter approval to approach her. "Why must you torment me?"

The Matriarch laughed at her daughter's inability to hide her emotions, "Daughter, you must be patient and in control."

"Why?" Liara asked, wanting to hug her and be in her grace.

"Because one must be able to maintain their dignity, their emo-" the Matriarch started but was cut off as her daughter broke custom, ran to her and began to hug her. "I should rebuke you for this behavior!"

"Forgive me, mother," Liara begged as she kissed her mother on the cheek and hugged her tighter. "I have not seen you in ages."

"Ages?" The Matriarch laughed. "Liara we saw each other this morning at breakfast."

"Not like this," Liara said, pulling away from her mother and looking around. "We are never alone like this … not really."

The Matriarch looked around and then smiled at her daughter, "Are we alone?"

There off in the distance were four commando assigned to Liara for security measures. Thessia was safe and protected but Benezia took no chances after two daughters of a wealthy neighbor had been kidnapped on Illium and later found dead. It was said to be the fault of krogan mercenaries but Benezia knew that it was engineered by a rival house … even the asari were not above greed. The rival house had hired krogan who had inadvertently murdered the daughters while in their care and this brought a backlash from the senior houses. Senior houses known as the Corallium Circle sent a representative from each and after reviewing the evidence stripped the offending house of all its possessions and social standing … distributing the assets among lesser houses.

The Matriarch Benezia had been called to Illium as part of that trial and she knew that no matter what was done to the offenders … the mother was forever stripped of her daughters. Stripped of their presence and of their connection … This was the fear of all mothers, the death of a daughter. So she had made sure that her daughter was protected when not in her presence.

Liara looked at the four asari, "Why do they follow me, mother?"

The Matriarch took her daughter by the hand and walked her closer to the memorial, "I want to make sure that you are safe, daughter."

"From what?" Liara did not understand. The Matriarch was respected by everyone, Thessia was safe and Liara was only thirteen. Who or what would want to hurt her?

The Matriarch brushed her daughter's cheek, "There are those that would take what is not theirs just to persuade another to trade items."

"What items?" Liara was still confused. "Did we take someone's item?"

"No," the Matriarch said. "They would take you in trade for our goods."

"But why would you give them our goods?" Liara asked. "You could just make another daughter."

"What?" The Matriarch could not believe what her daughter had said, "And would you let them keep me?"

"No," Liara's eyes grew wide. "I would trade everything … I would trade me to save you mother."

"Then why would I do anything different?" she asked, hurt by her daughter's lack of faith in her. "Why would you think that I would value materials over you?"

"Because I am not worth anything," Liara answered simply. "You … you are worth everything."

The Matriarch felt the tears wanting to flow as she began to hug her daughter, "Oh, Little Wing … I would give all that I have for you."

Liara feeling wanted and safe in her mother's embrace looked at one of the commando and asked, "I am glad, mother."

The Matriarch thought of how the daughters had willingly followed the krogan mercs who came in their mother's name and she felt a shiver … she pulled away from her daughter, "Now listen to my words … You are never to go with anyone that you do not know."

"But what if you send them?" Liara was always getting picked up by someone else as her mother was always too busy. "I would never dishonor you by refusing to obey your instructions."

Benezia looked at her daughter and smiled. It was true that the Matriarch might ask someone not too familiar to her daughter to retrieve her when she was unavailable. So on this day she had made a pact, "Going forward I will only send an acolyte that you know from our home and while she may come with others only she will speak to you in my name. If anyone else comes to you in my name it is false and you are not to follow them. Agreed and understood?"

"Yes, mother." Liara smiled as her mother splashed water on her. "Mother!"

"Enough serious talk," Benezia smiled. "Shall we sneak off to Armali and have lunch at Korain?"

* * *

><p>"Oh, Korain," Liara was so hungry. "A big plate of manitaro with Cilrag."<p>

"I demand that you come down!" the krogan bellowed again. He had been yelling at her for the past hour telling her that the Matriarch had sent him. He had no clue of the Matriarch's instruction or that Liara was stuck. Even if she wanted to come down there was nothing that she could do … nothing.

"I do not know you!" Liara had answered back, not sharing the predicament she had found herself in. "Tell the Matriarch that she will need to come here personally! I will not follow you! Go away!"

The krogan charged the shield and as he bounced off Liara could feel the impact … he could kill her if he got to her and she knew that. "You will not stay in that for long! And when you come down you will suffer before the Matriarch sees you … do you hear me?"

Liara watched him charge the shield again and she closed her eyes. She was afraid but she was also hungry. With her eyes closed, the shield vibrating as the krogan kept charging it she saw a big plate of manitaro with Cilrag and next to that a bigger glass of ice water … "Oh, Goddess! Water."

* * *

><p>The images washed over her and Shepard could not only see but feel the slaughter. She didn't understand the words, the screams, the shouts … they were in a language that she had never heard before. But the bleeding, the dying, the destruction … she understood those things. At least, her mind understood them … her subconscious trapped them in and the pain was too much. Shepard screamed and then began throwing up as blood started to flow from her nose. Chakwas rushed over from her desk and turned Shepard on her side, "Get me a bucket and a cloth!" she called to Bakari.<p>

"What is happening?" Bakari asked as he grabbed the items. Chakwas looked at the biofunction monitor and did not see any change in Shepard's physical state to explain what was happening. Shepard began yelling in a language that they did not understand and as the Commander passed out again, Bakari began to clean her face with the cloth as Chakwas started to draw blood.

* * *

><p>"I see no reason for you to go to the Crystalis Resort," Saren said as the Matriarch began to pack. "You need to focus on finding and eliminating the human if they survived."<p>

"Saren," The Matriarch said, "I have contacts there that will be able to assist in locating and eliminating this human without drawing attention to us. There can be no mistakes or it could bring us to the light and then I would be cut off from the Council and you would be cut off as well … Do you want that?"

"And then you will return?" He was not happy that she was not following his directions only. Was Sovereign now guiding her … He worried that he might be seen as a liability. _No_, he reassured himself, _Sovereign has had to spoil her mind … he needs me._

"If that pleases you," the Matriarch smiled as she moved towards him and waited.

"It would also please Liara," he purred as he touched the Matriarch but thought of her daughter. "She should be here shortly."

"Will she?" the Matriarch asked pleased as Benezia began to plead to her Goddess for protection. _Watch over Liara! Please you must have reminded her … oh, Liara!_

"You will need to train her on my desires … teach her to be …" Saren began to take off her headdress, "obedient."

"Of course," the Matriarch answered with a smile as Benezia screamed.

* * *

><p>Shepard felt like someone had taken a blender to her brains as she started to wake up. She heard the voice of Alenko, "Doctor! Doctor Chakwas … I think she's waking up."<p>

As she started to struggle up she felt Chakwas help her as she said, "You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you feeling?"

_How am I feeling?_ Shepard thought as she kept her eyes closed. The pain in her temples was increasing and so Shepard lied back on the bed, placing her arm over her eyes. "Minor throbbing … nothing serious. How long was I out?"

Chakwas shook her head at Shepard's false answer and she motioned for Alenko to start turning off lights as she dimmed the ones around the Commander, "About 15 hours … something happened down there with the beacon I think."

Alenko turning the light off over a biobed said, "It's my fault. I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached it. You had to push me out of the way."

Shepard was trying to remember the beacon. She remembered the … the … _Zombies?_ She fought the urge to retch as she said, "You had no way to know what would happen." _So what happened_? _No … really, what happened?_ She wanted to ask him but she did not want them to know that she was suffering memory loss. That would mean tests and she hated tests.

"Actually we don't even know if that's what set it off," Chakwas said. "Unfortunately, we'll never get a chance to find out."

"The beacon exploded," Alenko could see that Shepard was still in pain as she tried to sit up again. "A system overload maybe, the blast knocked you cold. Williams and I had to carry you back here to the ship."

Shepard held out her hand, eyes still closed and Alenko grabbed her by the forearm to help her up, "I appreciate it."

"Physically you're fine … but I detected some unusual brain activity," Chakwas informed her. "Abnormal beta waves. I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement. Signs typically associated with intense dreaming."

At the word dreaming Shepard heard whispers move around her, memories of something … "I saw … I'm not sure what I saw. Death … destruction. Nothing's really clear."

Chakwas saw Shepard close her eyes again as her head began to pound harder, "Hmmm … I better add this to my report. It may .. oh, Captain Anderson."

Anderson had stopped in for the fourth time to see if his Executive Officer had awakened, "How's our XO holding up, Doctor?"

"Well, all the readings look normal," she answered. "I'd say the Commander's going to be fine."

"Glad to hear it," he smiled at her and then turned to the Commander, "Shepard, I need to speak with you … in private."

Alenko looked at Shepard and then the Captain, "Aye, aye, Captain. I'll be in the mess if you need me."

As the medbay was emptied, Anderson looked at Shepard, "Sounds like that beacon hit you pretty hard, Commander. Are you sure you're okay?"

Shepard thought of Jenkins, the geth, the beacon … why couldn't she remember the beacon? Then she remembered the female soldier. "Captain, there was a soldier … she-"

"Gunnery Chief Williams?" Anderson could see that Shepard was not 100% yet as her words were a little slow. "I figured we could use a soldier like her. She's been reassigned to the Normandy."

"Williams is a good soldier," Shepard smiled despite the pain. "She deserves it."

"Lt. Alenko agrees with you," he said. "That's why I added her to our crew."

Shepard remembered _bowling? Dinner? No … who was bowling? Body shots?_ She was struggling to remember … she could remember _Nihlus. Dead. Frick! There was a smuggler? … Why do I remember dinner and body shots? Think!_

"I won't lie to you Shepard," Anderson interrupted her thoughts. "Things look bad. Nihlus is dead, the beacon was destroyed and geth are invading. The Councils going to want answers."

"I didn't do anything wrong, Captain." Shepard said as her head felt cloudy and even as she said the words she knew that she wasn't so sure. Without really remembering she only hoped that she was telling the truth. "Hopefully, the council can see that." _Not that it matters … my head is going to explode and all my problems will be gone._

"I'll stand behind you and your report, Shepard." Anderson said not realizing that she was partly listening. "You're a damned hero in my book … that's not why I'm here. It's Saren. That other turian. Saren's a SpecTRe … one of the best. A living legend. But if he's working with the geth, it means he's gone rogue. A rogue SpecTRe's trouble … Saren's dangerous and he hates humans."

Shepard froze on the mention of writing a report. _Frick you have to remember … You can't just make something up_ … then she heard him say that the turian hated humans, "Why?"

"He thinks we're growing too fast … taking over the galaxy," Anderson explained. "A lot of aliens think that way … Most of em' don't do anything about it. But Saren has allied himself with the geth. I don't know how, I don't know why … I only know it had something to do with that beacon. You were there before that beacon self-destructed … Did you see anything? Any clue to tell us what Saren was after?"

At the mention of the beacon she felt nauseous again and she saw … what did she see? She had a vague memory of …"Just before I lost consciousness I had some kind of vision."

"A vision?" Anderson asked, "A vision of what?"

Shepard tried to remember, "I saw synthetics ... Geth, maybe." Her brain felt like it was starting to whirl about, "Slaughtering people ... Butchering them."

Anderson could see that Shepard was in pain, "We need to report this to the Council, Shepard."

Shepard laughed, fighting the urge to throw up, "What are we going to tell them? I had a bad dream?"

Anderson saw a chance to get payback, "We don't know what information was stored in that beacon … Lost prothean technology, blueprint for some ancient weapon of mass destruction, whatever it was … Saren took it. But I know Saren … I know his reputations and politics. He believes that humans are a blight on the galaxy … this attack was an act of war. He has the secrets from the beacon … he has an army of geth at his command …he won't stop until he has wiped humanity from the face of the galaxy."

Shepard began to rub her temples, wishing that the pain would subside. She couldn't think and just wanted to throw up, get a painkiller, shower and then sleep with all the lights out. "I'll find some way to take him down," she said hoping that the Captain would accept that and leave.

Anderson didn't budge, "It's not that easy. He's a SpecTRe. He can go anywhere … do almost anything … that's why we need the Council on our side."

_Okay, think_! She told herself as she looked at a dark spot in the room to try and ease her headache. _The Captain is right, we need to address this … you don't have the luxury to sleep yet_. "We prove Saren's gone rogue and the Council will revoke his SpecTRe status."

Anderson had waited a long time for this, "I'll contact the Ambassador and see if he can get us an audience with the Council. He'll want to see us as soon as we reach the Citadel. We should be getting close … head up to the bridge and tell Joker to bring us into dock."

That was not what Shepard wanted to hear … she wanted to go take a shower at least.


	16. Movements

Alenko had been waiting just outside the medbay for her and when she appeared he could see that she was moving slower than usual, "Commander, I'm glad to see you're okay. Losing Jenkins was hard on the crew … I'm glad that we didn't lose you too."

Shepard remembered him praying over the body of Jenkins on Eden Prime and touched his arm, "Things were pretty rough down there."

"Yeh, you never get used to seeing dead civilians." He answered, remembering her standing over the remains of the family. "It doesn't seem right, somehow. But at least you stopped Saren from wiping out the whole colony."

Shepard looked into his dark eyes and saw compassion, "I couldn't have done it without you."

"We're Marines," he said a little shy. "We stick together … and I'm just sorry that we lost Jenkins."

Shepard knew that it had hurt the Lieutenant seeing his friend dead, "I wish I could have done something to save him."

Alenko seeing the vulnerability in her eyes quickly defended her, "I was there … you did everything right. It was just bad luck."

_Bad luck?_ Shepard thought. She didn't believe in luck. Good or bad ... No, that wasn't true. She didn't know what she believed anymore. All she wanted was her head to stop hurting and a shower.

"It's been a helluva shake-down cruise," Alenko said as they both started walking towards the bridge. "Our first mission ends with one SpecTRe killing another. The Citadel Council is not going to be happy about that … probably use it to lever more concessions out of the Alliance."

Shepard stopped on the stairs and looked at Alenko who was two steps below, "You've got a good grasp of the situation … you a career man?"

"Yeh, a lot of biotics are," he answered. "We're not restricted but we sure don't go undocumented ... May as well get a paycheck for it. Besides, my father served … it made him proud when I enlisted, eventually. But is that why you're here? Because of your family?"

Shepard thought of her parents, "My family were homesteaders on Mindoir … I'm the only one left. But I've moved beyond that." This had become her stock answer when fellow soldiers asked about her past. It was not entirely true, well any of it really, but it made things simple. She was always trying to avoid discussing her past unless it was on her terms and when she wanted to. Otherwise, she gave half-truths and sometimes lies to brush away the person.

Alenko thought of the famous picture taken of Shepard during the victory celebration on Elysium, "Ah, that's right … the Blitz. I imagine that bought you any post in the fleet."

Bought on the bodies of dead civilians, children used as soldiers and soldiers crying for their mothers as they took their final breaths … But what he said was true. It had opened doors … the N7 status for one. She looked back at him, _a career man_.

* * *

><p>"I'm glad you're okay, Commander." Chief Navigator Pressly said as the Commander and Alenko passed. "Losing Jenkins was hard enough on the crew."<p>

"Thank you," Shepard said as she looked at all the somber faces.

Williams was standing next to Pressly, hands all bundled. Shepard would have made a joke about the excessive wrappings but saw the pain on Williams' face. "I'm glad you're okay, Commander. The crew could use some good news after what happened to …"

"Corporal Jenkins." Alenko said which caused a silence on the CIC.

"Part of me feels guilty over what happened," Williams said, "If the Corporal was still alive I might not be here."

Shepard thought of how Williams jumped back into the fight despite her injuries, "You're a good soldier, Williams. You belong on the Normandy."

"Thanks, Commander." Williams said as she looked down at her bandaged hands. "That means a lot from you. I never met anyone who was awarded the Star of Terra."

"There's nothing special about me, Williams." Shepard said as the three started heading towards Joker, "Anyone would have done the same."

"Held off an entire enemy platoon alone?" Williams stated. "With all due respect, Commander, I think you got someone watching over you."

Shepard looked at the Chief and wanted to say that she didn't do it alone but the comment of someone watching over her took her thoughts to her mother. _Maybe she is,_ Shepard smiled at the thought. If anyone had any kind of pull with God it would have been her mother.

* * *

><p>The quick response was the first of many signals that the message was wrong. No matter how many times she listened to it … it just did not make sense and this concerned her. If forgetfulness and dementia were part of the asari aging process it might have made sense but these were not … no, something was wrong.<p>

As she replayed the message she moved towards the window overlooking the view of the presidium in her office: "Councilor Tevos, I received your message regarding Commander Elizabeth Shepard. This human is not only an unknown quantity but also from a planet that is unknown as well. What has she done to prove her worth? Survived one small attack? If that is what is required to earn an nomination from a SpecTRe then the standards have been lowered … so please consider my vote as a no. I will not support a human … this human to become a SpecTRe. I hope that the others are in agreement with this."

She knew that the voice belonged to the Matriarch; they had known each other for over 300 years … It was the Matriarch that not only introduced her to her bondmate, the Matriarch Lidanya, but also presided over their union ceremony. Yes, there was no mistaking that voice. But the message was all wrong. The Matriarch knew Mindoir, had even tried to save it from the batarian attack … she had also spoke highly of the human after the Skyllian Blitz saying that "this human has shown great strength and skill in leading her people during a dark and unforgiving moment … you need to watch her closely. I see great promise in her." And others? The Matriarch was the Councilor's sole advisor in these types of matter. No, there was something wrong indeed. The Councilor needed to reach out but to whom … the Matriarch Livia? Surely if there was a problem then the Grameno of the T'Soni line would know. "But if she doesn't," Tevos frowned. She then thought of her ex-lover and the Matriarch's younger sister, Tatiaria. They had been together for over 80 years when Tati met Antonina Delana and that was the end of their romantic relationship … but they had remained close friends. "Tati might have answers," Tevos said to herself as she moved back to the desk. "Yes … Tati."

"Councilor Tevos," Psyria, her Executive Assistant, said softly as she moved into the office.

"Yes?" Tevos found Psyria pleasing to look upon as did the turian Counsilor Sparatus. His desire for her was used as a way to keep him in absolute support of her actions and to ensure that the balance of power was held by the asari. The salarian Councilor, Valern, did not need such "assistance" as he saw the wisdom of the asari and believed that neither he nor the turian could keep the peace if given the lead.

"There is a message from the Ambassador Udina," she said as she put down the tray of sitruuna on the lounging table. "The Matriarch Lidanya has also asked that I remind you of the charity event tonight."

The human Ambassador was always pushing for more rights, settlements and concessions for his species. He was even worse than the previous ambassador and it took all of Tevos' diplomatic skills to keep the other two Councilors from shutting him out at times. She respected Udina's loyalty and tenaciousness to his people but the manners of the humans could be off-putting to the other species. They appeared as teenagers to the elderly ... a lack of wisdom, manners and gratitude. "Thank you. Shall you stay and have tea with me?"

"If that is what you desire," Psyria smiled. "But Sparatus asked if I could see him. Shall I cancel?"

"No," Tevos brushed her cheek, "Do you care for him?"

"A turian?" Psyria laughed. "I dream of going home to Lusia when my term here has ended. I might take from him to have my daughter but nothing more."

"He does not please you?" Tevos asked as she moved to the sitting area where the tray had been placed.

"He is kind," she answered, watching as Tevos began pouring herself a cup of sitruuna. "But there is someone back home and I prefer our own kind."

"As do I," Tevos smiled as she thought of Tatiaria and then caught herself as the face of Lidanya appeared. "I find the touch of others not quite as pleasing."

"True," Psyria agreed as she thought of her lover, "Councilor, you have never told me of your future plans."

Tevos thought of her home on Thessia and her bondmate, "I will return to Armali and teach at the university there … But for now, I was chosen to do this by the Matriarchs for our people."

"And as always they chose wisely," Psyria complimented.

"Now you are being too kind," Tevos responded as she looked at the plate of deleazo. "I sometimes think that there are others that would do this with much more skill than I … a Matriarch perhaps."

"I can see no one else in this position," she said as she moved to her and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I must leave now or I will be late. Please forgive my haste."

"No," Tevos squeezed her hand, "We all must sacrifice for Thessia."

"For Thessia," Psyria smiled as she left the Councilor alone.

* * *

><p>"The position that this puts us in," Udina grabbed the bottle of diazepam. "I must turn this away from our failure and at someone … anything else."<p>

Udina's Executive Assistant, Antun Obradovićo, motioned for the two other assistants and the three secretaries to leave the Ambassador's office as he grabbed a glass of water. "I am sure that you will handle this properly."

Udina tossed two pills in his mouth and swallowed before Antun had time to give him the glass of water, "The beacon destroyed … a SpecTRe dead. This was a colossal failure … a failure that can cost us dearly!"

"If the reports are true," Antun said as he tried to calm Udina, "then this actually falls on the Council. A rogue SpecTRe? Has that ever happened before?"

Udina was not listening as he looked out over the lake. _How could this have happened?_ He thought to himself. _When everything was looking so promising!_ If anyone has to take a fall then it would not be him. Not because he was trying to save his own ass but because he represented all of humanity. No, if anyone had to put their head on the chopping block then Captain Anderson would take the fall. _His mission, his failure._ _I will not see humanity as a whole take a hit for this … not while I am here._

* * *

><p>"What absurdity is this?" Counselor Sparatus asked as he read the message from Udina. "Saren Arterius is loyal to this Council … loyal to his people. Joining with the geth to destroy the humans? These lies will not be tolerated!"<p>

Domitia, Sparatus' advisor, shook her head, "The humans are trying to cover their failure."

"Indeed!" he growled as he began drafting a message. "I will have Arterius appear before the Council and defend his reputation … his loyalty. Then I will see to it that the humans pay retribution for this slight. Then we will use the loss of the prothean artifact to lever more concessions from them."

Domitia, who was sitting across the desk from him, tapped the table. "What of the SpecTRe Nihlus Kryik? Shall we require the Alliance to have his remains shipped to Palaven?"

"Yes," Sparatus answered. "I must also have a representative deliver the news personally to his faustal, Licinia. We must ensure that her and their offspring-"

"Sulpicia and Septimius," Domitia said as she looked at the dead SpecTRe's file.

"Yes, Sulpicia and Septimius," he shook his head. "The Alliance will need to make restitution for this … set up a fund for them."

"Would you li-" Domitia started to speak but the appearance of the asari stopped her. "Psyria, please come in … I was just leaving."

"I can wait outside if you would like," Psyria said as she noted the tension in the room.

"No," Sparatus answered, always glad to be near the asari. "Domitia, please contact Arterius and let him know that we may need him to appear before the Council."

"Shall I also forward him the files of-"

"Yes," Sparatus cut her off as he moved towards Psyria. "Now leave us."

"Yes, Councilor." Domitia answered as she quickly went to the door and closed it behind her. If the Councilor's faustal was to arrive uannounced then it was Domitia's job to take care of it.

"Is there a problem?" Psyria asked as she let Sparatus remove her dress.

"Problem?" he shook his head as he moved his hands over her body. "Not when you are here."

Psyria needed to know what he was holding back and as he reached between her legs she knew that today she would meld with him again. She would get that information without his knowledge as she moved within his mind … _We all must sacrifice for Thessia_.

* * *

><p>Across the hall in the salarian Councilor's office, Valern forwarded the message to the head of the STG for review and looked at his secretary, "Now … let's see what the Councilor Tevos decides. Between Udina and Sparatus she will have her hands full … meanwhile, we can start the independent investigation for her."<p>

"She will appreciate your quick thinking," she said. "And your discretion. But Sparatus may not approve."

"Saren with the geth," he ignored what she said as he looked again at the report. "Interesting ... troubling ... if true."


	17. Embassy Lounge Chatter

"This is an outrage!" Udina yelled out of frustration, "The Council would step in if the geth attacked a turian colony!"

Shepard, Williams and Alenko had just arrived at the Ambassador's office when Anderson motioned for them to come in and wait silently.

The Citadel Council was visible to the right of the office as a secretary took notes and the executive assistant directed the trio to the balcony where Williams and Alenko looked out over the lake. Shepard, standing at ease, looked at the holographic images of the Citadel Council as her own Ambassador struggled to get help from them.

Valern countered, "The turians don't found colonies on the borders of the terminus systems, Ambassador."

With Tevos adding, "Humanity was well aware of the risks when you went in to the traverse."

Udina could feel the heat in his neck as he shot back, "What about Saren? You can't just ignore a rogue SpecTRe! I demand action!"

Sparatus hated how the humans so easily forgot their place and he quickly corrected him, "You don't get to make demands of the Council, Ambassador!"

Tevos knew that this type of exchange could lead down a dark path so she said to Udina, "Citadel Security is investigating your charges against Saren … We will discuss the C-Sec findings at the hearing. Not before."

With Tevos having the last word, the communication was ended by the council. Udina knew that the meeting did not go well, knew that Sparatus would stand behind the turian SpecTRe unless proof could be produced. The dock worker Powell had been brought to the Citadel for an interview with C-Sec but Udina had rejected letting Dr. Manuel's sighting of Saren be entered. He knew that the doctor's words would be thrown out as a madman's rantings while Powell, shaken up, still had heard Nihlus say "Saren". But Udina's gut instinct was telling him that this was not going to end well. As he turned around he saw the woman that was supposed to be a shining example of humanity looking at him … "Captain Anderson," he said as he continued to look at Shepard, "I see you brought half your crew with you."

Anderson could see that the Ambassador had been put through the wringer, "Just the ground team from Eden Prime ... In case you have any questions."

"I have the mission reports," he said curtly. "I assume their accurate?"

"They are," Anderson replied. "Sounds like you convinced the Council to give us an audience."

"They were not happy about it," he answered as he moved closer to Shepard, "Saren's their top agent ... They don't like him being accused of treason."

Shepard's head was still throbbing and she was finding it hard to think, "Saren's a threat to every human colony out there … he needs to be stopped." She said as the ambassador moved even closer. "The Council has to listen to us."

Udina knew even more than Shepard how important it was that they listened. If they did not agree with the findings this might cost humanity more than what was lost on Eden Prime, "Settle down, Commander. You've already done enough to jeopardize your candidacy for the SpecTRes. The mission on Eden Prime was a chance to prove you could get the job done. Instead, Nihlus ended up dead and the beacon was destroyed."

Anderson stepped next to his XO, "That's Saren's fault not hers."

Udina began to rub his temples, "Then we better hope that the C-Sec investigation turns up evidence to support our accusations. Otherwise, the Council might use this as an excuse to keep you out of the Spectres. Come with me Captain … I want to go over a few things before the hearing. Shepard! You and the others can meet us at the Citadel Tower … top level. I'll make sure you have clearance to get in."

* * *

><p>Tevos moved swiftly to her office to see if Tatiaria had responded to her request for a private meeting. She only had an hour before she needed to be in the council chambers and while a potential rogue SpecTRe was a concern … a Matriarch in trouble was an even higher priority. "Psyria, did I receive word back from Thessia?"<p>

Psyria told her not as of that moment as she followed her into her office, "but Sparatus not only sent word to the SpecTRe of the allegation but he also sent him the dead SpecTRe's files."

"What?" Tevos was sure that she had heard wrong. "Why would he allow a SpecTRe under investigation access to files belonging to the person he might have murdered. Is he privy to information that he is not sharing? In your exploration of mind did you see anything that might shed light on his actions?"

"No, there was no deception in his mind," Psyria answered. "He sincerely believes that the turian, Saren, could not have done this."

"Foolish," Tevos sat down and looked at her messages. "Did you find anything else of interest during the meld?"

"It's in my report," Psyria smiled. "Nothing needing attention at this moment … you have bigger concerns."

"The Matriarch," Tevos frowned.

"Will you reject the human's candidacy to the SpecTRes?" Psyria asked.

Tevos looked at an image of her and the Matriarch taken just a few years prior in her home on Thessia, "I'm not sure … I think that the Matriarch was trying to …" her thoughts trailed off as she looked into the Matriarch's eyes. _What were you trying to tell me?_ Tevos thought as she picked up the image. _Shall I go against your direction? Are you telling me to approve? Who do you not want to know that you would approve? Oh, Goddess … I can't fail the Matriarch. Or our people. _

"Councilor?" Psyria was concerned as she saw Tevos stand up with the image and move out onto the balcony.

"What must I do?" Tevos asked herself, "Should I reach out to her for clarity?" Before the words was out of her lips a part of her screamed _NO_. She did not like the feeling that was creeping into her spirit. Something was wrong and she needed guidance. "Try Tatiaria again, Psyria."

* * *

><p>"And that's why I hate politicians!" Williams said as they sat at a table in the Embassy Lounge. "That bastard was trying to blame you for everything," Williams was angry that the Commander had been put in that spot. There was something about Shepard that inspired loyalty from others and Williams was no exception. She knew the Commander's service record and she was proud to be serving under her. "I'd like to see his scrawny ass in battle and do half the things that you have done."<p>

"Calm down Chief," Shepard smiled at Williams, "he was just trying to tell me what may happen if we don't prove that Saren is guilty. Blame has to be placed somewhere and this mission was a complete fail."

With an hour to spare they had decided to get a drink at the exclusive Embassy Lounge and as they entered the bar it seemed that every asari in the room turned to look at Shepard as she entered.

"Wow," Williams had said. "Is it me or are you catnip to the blue wonders?"

Shepard had felt a slight panic when they entered but Williams' comment made her give a small laugh, "Catnip?"

As Williams gave a _meow_ to Shepard, Alenko seeing an empty table on the balcony squeezed Shepard's arm, "Let's sit out there."

As they sat down an asari that had caught Alenko's attention with her beautiful smile and long legs stopped the waitress about to approach them and came to the table herself, "Welcome to the Embassy Lounge."

"Thank you," Alenko answered, even though she was clearly greeting Shepard.

"You must be Commander Shepard," she smiled, "Welcome to the Citadel and to the Embassy Lounge."

Shepard looked up at her as Williams, who had never been close to an asari, to any alien, stared transfixed on the back of the asari's head.

"I'm sorry, how do you know who I am?" Shepard asked, as Alenko whispered in Williams' ear about not staring at the asari fringe.

"I make it my business to know the name of attractive creatures in my establishment and you are very attractive." She answered as she kept her eyes locked on Shepard's.

"Hello?" Williams tried cutting in, "Can we get service here? We are thirsty and our time is short."

"Of course," she smiled. "I will have my waitress take your orders but if you need anything else …" she moved a little closer to Shepard as she repeated "_anything_ … then please let me know. My name is Lucrenda."

As she walked away Alenko pulled his eyes from her swaying exit and saw Shepard looking down at the table as Williams shook her head. "Well, that went well," he couldn't help but comment. "At least I thought so."

When the waitress arrived, Shepard ordered a whiskey, Williams a glass of wine and Alenko bottled water. Williams had never been around other species' and looking about the room was a little intimidating for her. The lounge was filled with their galactic neighbors but they were the only humans. As a keeper walked through the lounge, past a hanar and an elcor she said, "I can't tell the aliens from the animals."

Shepard laughed, "What do you mean? Talking jelly fish is normal back home."

"Maybe on Mindoir," Williams smirked, "I'm just a simple Earth girl."

"They aren't on Mindoir either," Shepard winked. "To be honest, you remember that hanar we saw on our way in to the Ambassador's office?"

"You mean before we knew they were called hanar?" Williams asked.

"Yes, before we knew they were called hanar," Shepard grinned. "I almost tried to pick it up and put it back in the water."

Williams tried not to laugh as she said, "Well, I heard that Mindoir girls were helpful."

"I heard that Earth girls were easy," Alenko said. His comment from left field surprised both Williams and Shepard who looked at him in shock. He realized what an odd thing he had just said which showed on his face ... this look caused Shepard and Williams to start laughing as they looked at each other. Their laughter made the other patrons look over at their table.

"You working on those shots, LT?" Williams teased as her laughter subsided. After the recent events, lack of sleep and upcoming hearing the trio needed to laugh. They knew they were being slightly goofy but they needed it.

As they settled down Shepard looked at her Star of Terra medal on her jacket ... She really hated wearing it. It embarrassed her. All of her medals did but this one most of all. But the Captain had instructed them to come in their dress blues and he wanted Shepard with her medals, especially that medal, as a reminder to both the Council and the Ambassador of who she was. If Udina's response was an example of how this medal was working then she might as well have left it on the Normandy.

"This could cost you a chance to join the agency," Alenko said just as a waitress brought their drinks to their table.

"Lucrenda says that these drinks are _on her house_?" the waitress said as she served them.

"On the house," Alenko corrected gently, "Tell her thank you from us."

"Thank you," the waitress said as she gave a quick glance at Shepard.

Alenko looked over at Lucrenda across the lounge and saw that she was looking at Shepard intently. With her seductive eyes and one of her long legs exposed, Alenko felt both aroused and jealous. He knew that Shepard was rumored to be a member of Terra Firma and xenophobic so the asari was no threat to him but he still worried that this asari might change her mind. He wasn't a sleep around guy or into other species as a rule but she would be an exception in his book … so he was slightly worried. "Are you attracted to them?" he heard himself ask.

"Well, that's bullshit if they use this against you," Williams said which brought Alenko back to the table's conversation and glad that his question had not been heard. "If any human … hell, if anyone … thing … should be a SpecTRe then you should be."

"It's okay Williams," Shepard laughed. "If I'm meant to be a SpecTRe then nothing will stop it … so just drink your glass of pinot noir and enjoy the view. And no I'm not."

Alenko looked at Shepard who was looking at him. He realized that she had heard him and had answered the question. "Well, some people are really attracted to ..."

"Some people like Joker?" Shepard teased.

"His cap," Alenko smiled. "That was embarrassing."

"You handled it well," Shepard gave a tilt to her head, "I loved the kick."

"This place is really perfect," Alenko said as he looked at Shepard's lips.

"This place is a little too perfect," Williams said. "They're hiding something."

Alenko turned his seat slightly so he could see the grounds over the balcony and he commented how peaceful and big the place was just as Shepard stood and took her jacket off. "The lake is amazing," she joined in.

"Oh, they've built themselves quite the lake," Williams said, "Wonder if anyone ever drowned in it."

Shepard sat back down, picked up her glass of whiskey and held it out to Williams, "To always being on your guard."

Alenko saw Shepard's pistol in a shoulder holster exposed now that her jacket was off, "Speaking of being on guard," he motioned at it.

"Always a soldier, Commander," Williams smiled as she clinked glasses with her and took a drink.

"He didn't say we couldn't carry," Shepard said as she adjusted her beret.

"Why do you get to wear a beret and we have these hats?" Williams asked in mock jealousy.

Shepard gave a wicked smile as she touched the N7 on her jacket, "I can do anything I want."

"Is that so?" Williams mugged, "So I guess that also includes getting drunk before meeting the Council."

"I'll drink to that," Shepard grinned as she raised her glass again, "I give you muscles of steel, nerves of iron, tongues of silver, hearts of gold, necks of leather ... the marines."

"The marines!" Williams and Alenko chimed as they raised their glasses. Just as Alenko went to take a drink, Williams pulled his water and offered her wine. "Never toast with water ... you know that!"

The lightheartedness was short-lived as Lucrenda reappeared at their table. Williams knew it was wrong but she mouthed _catnip_ to Shepard as Lucrenda put another glass of whiskey in front of the Commander. "You look thirsty, Commander."

Shepard thanked her for the drink as Alenko shifted in his seat and Williams mouthed _meow_ while clawing towards Lucrenda.

"Are you going to be on the Citadel for a term?" Lucrenda asked.

"No," Alenko answered trying to take the attention off of Shepard, "We're only here for a few hours, but thank you for asking."

"A few hours?" she repeated his words as she kept looking at Shepard. "Well, maybe if you come back I could show you around the more exciting parts of the Citadel. I live in the Tayseri Ward near the Gaeron Botanical Gardens … You look like you enjoy gardens."

"I do love gardens," Shepard answered, "but unfortunately we don't have time to sight-see this trip."

"How unfortunate indeed," she agreed. "If you could stay longer, I have tickets to the Dilinaga Concert Hall tonight. It is a beautiful place that shows the architectural elegance of my people."

"What is the concert?" Alenko asked, followed by Williams finishing her wine.

"It's a celebration on the life and works of one of our most beloved composers … Akdhat." She answered, even though she doubted that anyone at the table knew who Akdhat was.

"Akdhat?" Shepard smiled at the thought of the music that would fill the hall. "I love her work … especially EtZev."

"You know EtZev?" the asari's eyes lit up, "I have never met a human who knew her work. Or should I say appreciates or understands it."

"How long is it scheduled to play there?" Shepard asked, pulled in by Akdhat's works and imagining hearing them in a hall … live! She would be willing to go UA for that chance.

"It is scheduled for the next month," she answered with her smile even bigger as Shepard seemed interested in asari music. She had originally just wanted to share pleasures with her but now … this human appreciated the music of her kind. It was intoxicating to her and she wanted to share with the human outside of the physical as well.

Shepard couldn't help but wonder if she could get time away. But then she looked at the hostess, at the asari and Shepard knew that the night would end with … an image of being touched by her made Shepard cringe inside. Their skin was different, their smell, their head, their necks … hell, they were different. She had always been careful to not let an asari touch her even in passing so the thought of one against her, touching her in an intimate way … "I'm sorry, Lucrenda but our time is very limited. But thank you for the offer … Please think of us when EtZev is played."

Lucrenda smiled at the Commander and wanted to make her succumb to her, to seduce her with the gifts but she knew that it was forbidden. At least in public and Lucrenda had always frowned on those who had to use the gifts to seduce. So instead she smiled at Shepard and said in parting, "I will and if anything changes please feel free to contact me … Lucrenda Galo, Tayseri Ward … I have my own apartment looking out at the lights. The view is beautiful."

* * *

><p>Executor Venari Pallin had just ended a communication with the Councilor Sparatus regarding the investigation of the SpecTRe Saren. Pallin did not approve of the SpecTRes unlimited power and he had put his best officer from the Investigation Division on the case but there wasn't enough time to perform a full investigation.<p>

He had reached out to the turian Councilor requesting more time but was rejected.

"Executor Pallin," Sparatus had said, "If there is any wrongdoing by Saren Arterius then we should handle this very carefully."

"Councilor," Pallin countered, "if we have a rogue SpecTRe that killed one of his own then justice is required … we should not, we cannot look away."

"Of course," Sparatus answered. "But we must make sure that we do not use faulty evidence … I saw the interview with that dock worker and it was …"

"That human is not a soldier … not a turian," Pallin knew where the Councilor was going, "but he heard Nihlus Kryik say Saren."

"Are we sure?" Sparatus had looked at Captain Anderson's file and knew that there was bad blood between the human and Saren. He shared this information with Pallin and added, "Maybe he suggested to this weak, confused human that the name he heard was Saren."

Now as Pallin sat in his office, he pulled the file on Captain Anderson and verified what the Councilor had told him. It was true. The Captain had been rejected to the SpecTRes based off Saren's report and this made the human dock worker's memories suspect. He did not like the humans, he did not like SpecTRes … he knew that this case was more political than judicial. As such, no extension would be given; the session was due to start within the next fifteen. Pallin got up from his desk, knew that the SpecTRe would be protected by the Council and while it did not sit well with him there was nothing that he could do. Not unless his C-Sec Officer Garrus Vakarian had found evidence needed to prove that Saren had gone rogue.

Pallin left his office and began the walk to the Citadel Tower where he was to meet with his officer. He could only hope.


	18. Evidence be Damned

Executor Pallin was not pleased with his detective's findings, or should he say the lack thereof and with empty hands the detective was now pleading for more time. His C-Sec Officer knew that something was not right, that Saren Arterius was dirty, but with the Council it was not enough to think that someone was guilty; you had to have hard evidence. With the suspect being a SpecTRe your evidence had to be above reproach and iron clad.

"Stall the Council?" Pallin repeated the words of the detective. He had tried earlier to get additional time, unbeknownst to the detective and had failed. Pallin did not approve of any department or individual being placed above or outside the law and the SpecTRe agency and its agents were just that. He had read the reports that the Alliance had provided, met with the dock worker and while he agreed with his detective concerning Saren, you had to have proof. He was frustrated that he didn't have the ability to delay the hearing or get additional security clearance for his lead officer over the investigation but he answered to the Council and not the other way around. So he looked at his detective and without explanation growled back, "Don't be ridiculous. Your investigation is over, Garrus."

Pallin saw the human known as Shepard approaching and while he admired her strategos he did not admire her species. They expected too much and too soon. They did not understand that you had to work … that you had to earn your place in the galactic community. Instead they held their hands out like beggars demanding that they receive privileges that others had fought for ... died for. Had Shepard been a turian, asari or even salarian he would have met her with honor. But she was human so he did not have either the time or inclination to meet with her. Instead, he looked away from Shepard and back to his officer, motioned toward her arrival and then quickly walked away.

The detective had heard of the Alliance Commander, respected her for what she had done on Elysium and now as she walked towards him the Star of Terra caught his eye. It made him think of the replica Dodge City Marshall's Badge on his wall at home. Then there was the way that she walked … the way that she carried herself. She walked as if she had complete command of her surroundings and this was even more obvious when he looked at the two humans arriving with her. She walked with grace, strength and purpose while they seemed lost, unsure and intimidated by their very surroundings.

"Commander Shepard?" he stepped towards her, "Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren."

Shepard had noticed the look that his companion had given her, "Who were you just talking to?"

"That was Executor Pallin head of Citadel security … my boss." Garrus answered, surprised at the human's abrupt manner. He then quickly reasoned that she had no time for proper greetings as she was heading for the hearing. "He'll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council."

Shepard had caught his slight feeling of offense and softened her tone, "Sounds like you wanna really bring him down."

Garrus knew that he should keep his opinions to himself, but something about Shepard made him open up, especially when he caught her shift of tone. "I don't trust him … Something about him rubs me the wrong way. But he's a SpecTRe … everything he touches is classified. I can't find any hard evidence."

Alenko did not like how this turian was speaking so freely and thought that this was just a front as they protected their own. He looked around knowing that they were being watched and desiring to get the Commander away from a potential set-up said, "I think the Council is ready for us, Commander."

Shepard looked over at the Lieutenant, sensing his distrust and nodded. She had caught no falseness in the turian's words or in his movements but she was also caught off-guard by his openness to her. Garrus caught the look between the two humans but was unsure of what it meant. "Good luck, Shepard … maybe they'll listen to you." He said as Shepard began to move away from him. He meant what he said to her but knew that without proof the Council would not listen even to her. They had their rules, red tape, procedures … no, they would not listen without evidence. Evidence that he had failed to produce.

* * *

><p>"The geth attack is a matter of some concern but there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way," Tevos tried to explain to the Ambassador as she saw Shepard appear. So this was the human that had caught the attention of the asari just seven years prior. Discussions on Shepard had been held by the Councilor and the Matriarchs over the years as they monitored her. When Nihlus had brought her name forward to the Council as a potential candidate for the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch, Tevos had smiled inwardly. Now, looking at the Commander, she wished that they were meeting under different circumstances; a different place … Valern had also looked at the human as she approached with curiosity. The salarians had read the Elysium report and saw the holes … holes that left behind death, fear and victory. He was curious indeed. Sparatus also admired her deeds but did not think humanity was ready and knew that the species hoped a human in that agency meant they were close to a seat on the Council. <em>No humans<em>, he privately thought, _you will not have a seat in this lifetime or even the next five_.

Shepard could tell that the meeting was not going the way that Udina and Anderson had hoped. The day was not going well for her either as her head felt like it was splitting in two. The pills had not helped, the drinks had not helped and now she just wanted to go somewhere dark and lie down. Instead, she watched as Udina battled with the Council over the SpecTRe Saren Arterius. He struggled to prove that Saren was not only responsible for the murder of the SpecTRe Nihlus Kryik but also the one who led the attack on Eden Prime with the geth.

Shepard looked up at the holographic projection of the turian and she could see that he was not worried. He was smug, arrogant and in control which only made her headache that much worse. She couldn't think clearly and nausea was starting to set in as the hearing slid downhill. She tried focusing on a time with her mother in the garden to keep from tossing her cookies in front of everyone when she realized that the SpecTRe Saren was focused on her, taunting her, "… and this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard … The one who let the beacon get destroyed."

Shepard looked up at him, "The mission to Eden Prime was top secret; the only way you could know about the beacon is if you were there."

"With Nihlus gone, his files passed on to me." He easily countered. "I read the Eden Prime report … I was unimpressed. But what can you expect from a human."

His insult hit her hard as she thought of her mother so fresh in her mind. Her family, friends … her people … humans. "You can expect me to kill you the next time we meet." These words came from her heart not her mind and she cursed herself for losing control in front of the Council.

Saren was surprised at how easy it was to get under her skin, not realizing that he had an advantage as her headache was blinding her, stripping her of her armor. "Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the council … You're not even ready to join the SpecTRes."

Udina looked at Shepard, the human who had lost so much and angrily defended her, "He has no right to say that! That's not his decision!"

Tevos agreed, "Shepard's admission into the SpecTRes is not the purpose of this meeting."

"This meeting has no purpose," Saren almost laughed. "The humans are wasting your time, Councilor … and mine."

Shepard knew that she should just stay quiet, but she wasn't thinking straight, "You can't hide behind the Council forever!" As the words came out she cringed yet again. She just wanted the hearing over as she realized that they really had no proof. She had not seen Saren nor had any video pulled shown him there. They believed that there had been tampering with the footage but belief was not proof. Shepard looked at Udina and thought, _at least they aren't so desperate that they are submitting my_ … and then it happened. She heard Anderson mention the vision and her stomach turned yet again. _For the love of Ivy!_ she thought to herself, _Why mention what we don't understand? What I can't even explain? _As the vision was treated as little more than the last act of desperation, as it should have been even in Shepard's book, she looked at Saren who seemed to be looking back at her with a dare. A dare to come after him. Or maybe it was just her headache, she wasn't sure about anything. When she was asked by the council if she had anything else to add she heard herself answer like a child, "You've made your decision … I won't waste my breath."

These words did not fit the Commander Shepard that Tevos had heard about. This person in front of her was acting like a petulant child and too emotional ... No, something was wrong and given the recent events from the Matriarch to Eden Prime it left her in desperate need to get outside guidance. She needed another of wisdom to help look at all the events and work toward understanding them. _Tati, please respond soon_, Tevos thought as she turned away from Sparatus and looking at the Ambassador gave the Council's ruling, "The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the SpecTRes is denied."

"I'm glad to see justice was served," Saren said just before he disconnected.

Tevos declared the meeting adjourned and as the Council went back to their offices Udina looked defeated. Shepard knew that she had not helped in the matter and just prayed that somehow they would find another way to stop him.

* * *

><p>The Commanding Officer of the Destiny Ascension Matriarch Lidanya was waiting for the Councilor in her office, "Chazona, is she as attractive as they say she is?"<p>

Tevos looked at her mate as she entered her office and frowned, "We have geth attacking, a SpecTRe potentially against us, a prothean beacon destroyed and you want to know the aesthetics of a human?"

Lidanya had never seen Tevos so short-tempered, "My apology, but since she has stepped onto the Citadel ... well, she is all the maidens talk about aboard the Destiny Ascension. I just wondered if she was as attractive as rumored."

Tevos sat down on her couch and motioned for her assistance to leave her and her mate in private. "Lida, there are more important things then the chatter of the young."

Lidanya, using her pet name for the Councilor, smiled, "Chazona, even maidens notice her. Lucrenda called to tell me that she had met the Commander at the Embassy Lounge and found her very desirable … Lucrenda! She is more picky then you, my dear."

Tevos thought of the Commander and all she saw was a human Alliance Offficer. She had looked at her uniform, her medals and the way that she stood. There was also her voice which was softer, slightly lower in tone though still very feminine … not high pitched like many females that she had met from that race. Pleasant is the word that came to her mind. But she had not really looked at the features of the Commander. "Lida, I was not there to admire the appearance of Commander Shepard."

"Was it that serious?" her mate asked, sitting on the couch next to her.

Tevos looked deep in her eyes and almost whispered, "There is a shift in the winds and I am unsure of where we go from here."

Lidanya took her by the hand, "Do not fret … Reach out to the Matriarch Benezia," she advised. "Her council is always prudent and wise."

Tevos pulled away from her lover, "I would gladly seek out the Matriarch for guidance but now … now there are concerns with her … for her."

"Concerns?" Lida now was listening intently to Tevos, "Is she in danger?"

"No," Tevos replied quickly … maybe too quickly. But she did not want to worry Lidanya or raise an alarm if she was wrong. "I am just tired. Overlook me and what I speak. Maybe if I took a nap … if I lied down for a while."

Lidanya put her arm around Tevos, "That sounds pleasing. Go home for a short while and rest, my erotas."

Tevos kissed Lidanya and then pushed her gently away, "Yes, I will. Now please go back to your duties and I'll see you later this evening."

"Yes, my Councilor." Lidanya smiled as she rose.

Tevos stopped her as she reached out and grabbed her hand, "Lida, will you do something for me?"

"Of course," she answered with concern back on her face.

"Take two of your best warriors," she instructed as she slowly stood. "Instruct them to shadow the Commander while she is on the Citadel."

"For protection from or to?" Lidanya asked.

"I fear that she may need our protection," Tevos answered. "But she must not know that she has protection. Can you do this for me?"

"Anything for you," her mate answered. "This Shepard will never know that she is being shadowed."

* * *

><p>The apartment was located in the Bachjret Ward just four doors down from the human theater Terra Cinema that played old westerns every fourth day. Just one look inside the apartment would tell you that was no coincidence but the motivation for the tenant to live there in that neighborhood.<p>

Just above the deep brown sofa was the Bruce King painting of "Victims of the Buffalo Jump" and another of his works "Emissary" was in the small dining area. In the living area was a Fred Fellows bronze statue "An Honest Day's Work" on a bookshelf filled with works by Louis L'Amour, Zane Grey, Larry McMurtry and other western novelists. One of the tenant's favorite films was "True Grit" and in his mind he wore his visor like that black patch. If only he could be like Rooster Cogburn and just kill the guilty without risking them going free. But he wasn't.

On his computer he had a half-finished western called "The Marshall of Red River" that he had been working on for over three years. He had hoped to one day go Tombstone, Arizona to see where the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral actually took place and where Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday had actually been. He also wanted to see and touch a realAmerican Quarter Horse and maybe even ride it like in those old films. These were dreams that he had never shared with others and he knew that they would probably always stay just that … dreams.

Garrus had found his love of the old west when he studied human military history. The study of the cavalry during the settlement of the old west in North America fascinated him. He began to read about the settlements of the new world, the lawmen, the gunslingers and he fell in love. These were individuals that spoke to who he wanted to be and he admired lawmen Jim Dodson, Wyatt Earp and Pat Garrett. They were men who lived in lawless times, managed with their wits and at times bent the law to see that the criminals were captured or removed altogether. These men were his heroes … something else that he kept hidden. He never told anyone or allowed visitors over to his place for fear that they would think he had some kind of human fetish. He was not attracted to the species, not that way, but he admired their ability to adapt quickly and he felt that he had finally found others who were like him. The fact that these were humans did not matter to him as they were kindred spirits.

Another kindred spirit to him was the Commander who on Elysium had shown the other races what a human put in an impossible situation could do … the military heads of the other races both admired and feared what she had shown them. Privately, they were glad that she was an exception and not the norm among her kind because the thought that there were an army of her scared them. Garrus had read about her and thought that she was like those of the west, so when he heard that she had arrived on the Citadel he had found himself getting excited. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask her but their meeting had not went well. He had come empty of hand and unable to show her what he could do.

As he put his takeaway down on the dining table he looked over at the sassub leaning against his desk. He had grown up playing the sassub which closely resembled the barbiton, an ancient instrument derived from Persia and he was contemplating using it to get his mind off his failure. It had taken him twenty minutes to get home and now as he sat down to eat dinner his mind kept going back to the investigation of Saren. He just knew that if he had more time, if he- … his thoughts were interrupted as a knock came at his door.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe the Council ignored all the evidence against Saren," Williams said as the trio stepped into the elevator on the Citadel Towers.<p>

"Saren's one of their best operatives," Alenko responded as he pushed the G1 button. "It's only natural that they take his word over ours."

Wiliams looked over at him, "Oh, so now we just chase leads while this smug turian runs around with his geth troopers?"

"That's politics, Chief." Alenko sighed.

"I hate politics," Williams shook her head.

Shepard watched as the floors moved swiftly by and then looked at the time. It had been only four hours since they had stepped on the Citadel but it seemed four times as long. "Lieutenant, can you get the directions to Chora's Den?"

"Yes, ma'am," he answered as he began punching in the bar on his omni-tool.

After the hearing had ended, it had been decided that Shepard might find new leads through the C-Sec Officer Vakarian. But first they had to locate him. Udina had suggested one of his contacts inside the C-Sec … an officer named Harkin. This had concerned her Captain, "Forget it! They suspended Harkin last month … drinking on the job. I won't waste my time with that loser."

Udina looked at Anderson and realized that as long as the Captain was part of the investigation that the findings would remain suspect cut in, "You won't have to. I don't want the Council using your past history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. Shepard will handle this."

Anderson wanted to stay in charge but knew that the Ambassador was right. As long as he was a part of the investigation they would use his past with Saren to discredit their findings. So he agreed and then told Shepard where she could probably find the suspended officer, "Harkin's probably getting drunk at Chora's Den. It's a dingy little club in the lower sections of the wards."

Once the Ambassador had left them Shepard had looked at her Captain, "You don't think much of Harkin."

Anderson gave a slight frown, "The guy joined C-Sec about 20 years ago … he's been an embarrassment to our species ever since. Roughing up suspects in custody, bribery accusations, alcohol and drug use. The embassy used to step in when he got into trouble but I guess enough was a enough."

"That Harkin sounds like a scumbag," Williams said as the elevator finally stopped.

"So they suspended him for drinking on the job," Alenko commented as he set the nav on his omni-tool to Chora's Den. "Hmmm, I wonder if that was wine or whiskey."

Shepard and Williams looked at each other, "Chief, next time we leave the Normandy … the lieutenant stays onboard."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Williams winked back as Alenko gave a laugh.


	19. Pups, Ducks & Plates

The sound of a human child crying out in pain caught the attention of the battle-worn krogan as he stepped out of the shuttle. He had been staying in the Bachjret Ward working as a bouncer in the club Blue Fringe when he was contacted by the Shadow Broker through one of his agents. There was a human needing removed in the Zakera Ward that had actually double-crossed the broker and the hit was going to bring in twice the standard fee. The krogan easily and quickly accepted the job.

As he stepped on the pedway he turned in the direction of the sobs and saw its mother consoling it as it cried about a scrape on its knee. The child had fallen down and was now sprawled on the ground as tears ran down its fat cheeks. The mother, so focused on her child, did not notice the stares from other species as she wiped the tears and began talking baby-talk. This type of public behavior was one that all other species did not understand or find particularly attractive about the humans. To the krogan such weakness and coddling made him growl as he thought of how these weaker races were producing at a rate of vorchas while his kind … once proud, strong and prolific were now hated, disgraced and banned from areas of the Citadel. They were also a dying race.

The krogan blamed the death of his race on a biological weapon engineered by the salarians and deployed by the turians ... the two races that he hated the most. He knew that his own kind was also partly to blame in their dwindling numbers but it was easier to vocally blame others as he roamed the galaxy. Privately, he had left his people to their own weak desire to die in battle instead of rebuilding their home world of Tuchanka. They had given up and so he did as well. For over three centuries he had survived by leasing himself out as a bodyguard, mercenary, soldier of fortune, and bounty hunter. But through it all he was his own master.

As he heard the child whimper more he thought of the human pup that had made him think there might be hope for this race … but every human that he had seen or met since had shown him that the pup was not normal. She had been fearless as she hung on his gauntlet and blind to his appearance as she invited him home with a promise to teach him to swim. That memory still caused him to chuckle … an act that always scared others around him. The sound of laughter or even a chuckle from a krogan was a rare thing and normally came before blood was spilled.

As the mother quickly looked up at the krogan chuckling, the child began to scream as she pointed at her knee which was slightly bleeding. The screams brought disdain from those moving about them as the mother began to plead, "… calm down for mommy. You don't want mommy sad do you?" _Sad?_ The krogan thought, _not sad … dead. You and your pup are weak and will only produce more weak pups. Better to just let this pup bleed out._ The krogan then moved from them as the crowd ahead of him made way. The wards were always crowded but he never seemed to experience it as his girth, appearance and … well, being a battlemaster krogan made everyone else around him move to the side.

The child screamed louder, the mother increased her baby-talk and begging, the crowd parted and the krogan moved on ... He had business to attend to.

* * *

><p>The gentleman's club, Chora's Den, was not crowded as usual and while the bar was not exactly seedy, it had that feel. It was actually more of a neighborhood bar which is what Captain Anderson had always liked most about it … It catered to the everyday people who lived in the area and they came there to eat, drink and just relax. For humans it served tasty appetizers like Buffalo wings and nachos, real Earth beer, along with stiff drinks and seductive dancers thrown in. The scantily-clad asari and human females moved about the room when not dancing giving companionship to the predominately male clientele. If you wanted a packed club or a place to be seen there were plenty of those in the wards but this was a working man's neighborhood bar.<p>

A balding older man seated at a table just to the left of Fist's private quarters was now working on his fifth glass of vodka. He grabbed a hand of peanuts as he watched a dancer over the bar move about to the rhythms of dischno muzik, as the latest fad of human dance music was now called. The bar's DJ alternated between human and asari dance music at the club as Fist's dancers kept the clientele happy. Harkin took another gulp and snapped his finger at the waitress closest to him, raising his glass and shaking it.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Garrus said more than asked as he looked down at him.

"Enough?" Harkin laughed, "I'm just getting started. Sit. Waitress bring my fellow shit eater a glass of Venefirous!"

"This isn't a social meeting," Garrus said, getting a little angry. "I'm here about your note."

"Note?" Harkin feigned ignorance. "Note? … Hmmm."

"The note delivered at my home!" Garrus said with his mandibles twitching.

Harkin could see that the turian was getting angy, "Don't be such a damn hothead, Garrus … sit!"

Garrus had never really liked Harkin but he also had heard about the abuse that the C-Sec Officer had taken in his first few years in the department. It was never easy being the first of anything and from what he had heard … Harkin had been no exception and went through a pretty brutal hazing. He had been a very respectable and admired officer back on Earth in the Scotland Yard who had helped solve and capture a serial killer on the loose in London. When he had been brought to the Citadel with his wife and young son amidst much fanfare, the little family was full of hope. Then the publicity lights were turned off, the politicians left and real life set in. The hazing, taunts and bullying had started almost immediately but Harkin really believed that if he just worked hard and showed the other races his worth that they would eventually accept him. But his good hearted nature, humility and easy-going personality was seen as a weakness and the offenders only got rougher. Harkin's wife took their son and left after one case was so bitter for him that he took his anger out on her with his fists. He had begged her to stay, to not leave him but nothing he promised stopped her from going and leaving him alone. With his family gone he became angry, bitter and married to the bottle. He began to fight back, to "get his" and he could give a rat's ass about others.

"Harkin, I have things to do," Garrus said, holding his temper. "I don't have time to drink with you."

"You still figure you can save the world?" Harkin laughed as Garrus continued to stand over him.

"I don't have time for this," Garrus balked again as he went to leave.

"Wait!" Harkin yelled, waving him back. "I have something … information that you may want."

The waitress came back, placed the drinks on the table, smiled at Garrus and went to the next table. Garrus looked at Harkin, saw something in his eyes and sat down next to him. "What information?"

"First, you must tell me something." Harkin smiled as he grabbed his crotch.

Garrus had always hated how the human males would touch themselves … it was something that did not make sense to him, especially since the cowboys like the Duke didn't do that. "What do you want to know?"

"If information showing that Saren is dirty ... and that information is given to you, will you use it or cover it up?" Harkin asked.

"If you have information I will use it to bring him down," Garrus answered hoping that Harkin wasn't lying.

Harkin took a drink, looked at Garrus and said in a low tone, "Go see Dr. Michel … she attended the injuries of a quarian."

"So," Garrus said. "What do I need this quarian for?"

"My source says that she has information," Harkin answered, throwing more peanuts in his mouth.

"What kind of information?" Garrus pushed Harkin.

"The damning kind," Harkin answered as he clinched his teeth causing bits of peanuts to fly out. "The kind that gets one shot."

"Why are you telling me this?" Garrus asked, not trusting him.

"It passes the time," Harkin shot back as he went to take a drink. Seeing Garrus just looking at him, Harkin stopped drinking and grumbled, "Fine. Suit yourself! Sit here and watch me get drunk while your only lead gets away."

Garrus got up and as he started to leave warned, "If this is some kind of duck chase I'll come back here and shove that glass down your throat."

As Garrus left the club, Harkin laughed as he lifted his drink, "Goose chase asshole!" But this was not a goose chase … Harkin had heard that Garrus had been investigating the SpecTRe named Saren Arterius and had start checking around as well. Harkin had met Saren once when as a young C-Sec Officer in the Tayseri Ward he was called to a hotel room on a disturbance call. As he approached the door he had heard the muffled cries of a female so he broke in. What greeted him was a naked turian standing over an equally naked asari with parts of her back ripped open. The turian with her blood on him had looked at Harkin as if he were a roach and ordered him from the room. Ordered him! Harkin looked at the asari begging him to help her and as Harkin demanded the turian to get on the ground it resulted in four broken ribs, a broken nose and a three-week coma. When Harkin had awakened he was told that the turian was a SpecTRe and that this agent had blamed the officer's injuries on his own incompetence. Accorrding to the report submitted, the SpecTRe was in the middle of an interrogation when the C-Sec Officer barged in. The agent had identified himself but the Officer was so "excited and out of control" that he had went at the SpecTRe, who then had to stop the Officer. The one line that Harkin remembered in that report was that the "human was ill-qualified and should be terminated from the C-Sec." The Council and his own Superiors had believed, or at least sided, with the SpecTRe and the human Ambassador had been told to let it go. No charges were filed on either party and the matter had been covered up … everyone forgot, but Harkin.

* * *

><p>Tatiaria always took the Councilor's breath away and even with the seriousness of the situation her heart raced as she appeared on her screen. "Councilor Tevos, please forgive my delay to your request. I have been in meetings all day and did not receive your message until now."<p>

"No," Tevos softly responded. "Please forgive my interruption to your schedule."

Tatiaria was not being truthful and Tevos, knowing her ex-lover as she did, quickly realized that she was being lied to. This offense would have displeased the Councilor from anyone else but not from the asari smiling at her. She had always forgiven Tati everything even when she chose another companion to be with after 80 years of pure bliss together. She had forgiven her, attended the union ceremony and sent her congratulations upon the birth of her daughter. Now as she stood looking at her lost love, hearing her voice … that part of her that was longing to embrace her once again made her heart beat faster. Even her lies were acceptable and had that been shared with anyone they would have said that was a lie. The Councilor had great strength in keeping her emotions in check and her feelings were always a mystery to others.

Tatiaria had received the message earlier but only after she had received word about Eden Prime through her contacts on the Citadel. _Sister!_ Tatiaria had cried as the report flickered on the screen. _Oh, Goddess! What is happening? Geth? Oh, sister … what have you gotten into? _She had needed time to collect her thoughts and knew that before she spoke with anyone she had to inform the Grameno of the T'Soni family … Matriarch Livia. This was something that she had hoped she would never have to do but here was the day. There was no other option but to reveal her sister's known activities. So she steeled her nerves and contacted her Theia requesting a visit to her home.

"Theia, please accept my gratitude for your presence in my home." Tatiaria bowed her head as she waited for her mother's sister to show approval by kissing her own palm and placing it on her head. The Matriarch had arrived at Tatiaria's home quickly and after the customary greeting, Tati put her arm through Livia's and guided her into the main courtyard with the beautiful fountain. Once there Tati looked at the replicas of her and Benezia in the fountain as Livia moved to the sitting area made of marble with pillows, covers and tapestry. Livia sat at the center of the seating area and looked at her niece who seemed to be struggling with her emotions.

Tati turned to look at the Matriarch, took a deep breath and then revealed what the Matriarch Benezia had been doing these past years … or the parts that she knew. She then spoke of the latest reports concerning Eden Prime, Saren and the geth. Livia looked at her niece and asked, "Where is Liara and how can we get her back here safely?"

"Oh, Little!" Tatiaria had been so focused on her sister that she had forgotten about her niece, "Yes, we must get her to safety." Tatiaria's mind began to race as she realized that both Liara and Sibila would need to be brought home to Thessia where they would be better protected and isolated from what she feared was about to unfold.

The Matriarch could see that her niece was starting to panic and so she rose up, walked over to her and putting her hand on her cheek said, "Daughter, do not panic. We must stay calm and focused if we are going to help Benezia and ours."

"Forgive me, Theia," Tatiaria said as she touched the Matriarch's hand with hers. "I fear my lack of years is showing."

"Lack of years," Livia smiled. "Benezia has taught you well my child. You can do this. Now … where is Liara?"

"Liara is in the Artemis Tau Cluster on one of her prothean studies." Tatiaria answered as they both walked back to the sitting area.

"Alliance space," Livia frowned. "So who is with her? Who did you have with her for protection?"

"No one, Theia." Tatiaria answered, knowing that this would not be received well.

Livia, about to sit, stopped and looked at her niece, "No one? Liara is out there without protection even after you knew what Benezia was doing? Did you not think that something may go wrong?"

"We felt that …" Tatiaria stopped as the word _we_ made her stomach turn. "No, sister would protect Liara over everything else."

"Maybe this is out of her hands," Livia sat down as she looked at all the options. "Tati, you will communicate with the Councilor Tevos and see that Liara is brought here to safety. Do you understand?"

"But how?" Tatiaria asked, "The Councilor is not a travel agent. She is going to be focused on Eden Prime … on acts of treason. And once sister is revealed to be with Saren, even if in name only ... protecting Liara will not be a priority."

Livia shook her head, "And now you are showing your lack of years. The Councilor will do what you ask … she favors you. Desires you still. Use that! Promise your favors if you must … I want Liara here … safe!"

"Yes, Theia," Tatiaria answered, "And sister? Do I tell the Councilor that she is with Saren? That she is trying to guide him away from -"

"No," Livia shook her head, "We must have faith in her, daughter. Faith, yet not blindness. For now, we must do that which she would want …"

"Protect that which she loves the most," Tatiaria finished. "I will speak with the Councilor and have Liara brought home."

Now after the Matriarch Livia had left, Tatiaria had made the call and hoped that she did not lose her strength by confiding in her past lover, "How can I help you, Councilor?"

"I need your guidance," Tevos answered. As she explained her concern regarding the message from the Matriarch on Commander Shepard, Tatiaria waited for the subject of Eden Prime to be included. But when Tevos only talked about the quick response, content of the message and Commander Shepard, Tatiaria realized that Benezia had not been on Eden Prime. Or she hoped that is what it meant.

"I can see your concern, Councilor." Tatiaria answered, struggling on what she herself should say or do. She so wanted to tell Tevos everything but the Matriarch Livia had forbid giving more information than required. "This is concerning. The Matriarch discussed this Shepard … This is the same Alliance Officer ... Chief Elizabeth Shepard on Elysium?"

"Yes, that Elizabeth Shepard," Tevos confirmed. "She is now a Lieutenant Commander in the Alliance and was just recently on Eden Prime."

"Eden Prime?" Tatiaria felt a slight flush. "What happened on Eden Prime?"

"Nothing to concern you with," Tevos answered. "I am more concerned about the Matriarch. What did she say about Commander Shepard?"

"The Matriarch told me that there was great potential in this human," Tatiaria said, confused at the message and wanting to discuss Eden Prime. "She had even mentioned how the human had survived the attack on Mindoir. No. This message is wrong."

"Then we are in agreement?" Tevos asked.

"Yes," Tatiaria answered. "The Matriarch's recommendation should not be followed at this time and I will speak with her without betraying your confidence."

"Thank you Aria," Tevos said, realizing that she had used her former pet name. "Forgive me … Tatiaria.

"No forgiveness is needed, Ciara." She said, feeling her heart dance at the intimate name. Tatiaria had loved Tevos and had cried when the Matriarch Livia had informed her that she was to let her lover go. Ciara Tevos with her gift of diplomacy, loyalty to Thessia, self-discipline and wisdom had been nominated to become the next Councilor and needed a mate that would complement her role in life. Tatiaria was not to be that partner. When Tatiaria had begged her older sister to help change Livia's mind, Benezia sided with the Matriarch saying, "We all must sacrifice for Thessia." All these centuries later and she could see the wisdom. They had different lives, different loves, different needs but she still felt a deep desire for the Councilor when she saw her. It was because of that desire that she limited her time around the Councilor. She wasn't as good at covering her feelings as Ciara Tevos.

"Well, I will take no more of your time," Tevos hated to let her go. "Thank you for your guidance."

Tatiaria lowered her voice, "I have a favor to ask, Ciara."

"What is this favor?" There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her.

"It is my niece," Tatiaria answered, treading as lightly as she could to not show her fear. "I need her brought back to Thessia."

"Liara?" Tevos asked. "Where is she?"

"She is on Therum ... alone," Tatiaria answered. "I know that I am asking a lot but with all of the uncertainty … if you could have someone you trust bring her to Thessia."

"Therum?" Tevos thought of where the planet was located and then asked, "Is this part of her prothean studies?" The question made them both laugh as they each remembered the time that Liara had destroyed one of the Matriarch's vases. It was at a small dinner party at the Matriarch's home and as the guests were seated around the dining table, Liara had stumbled in with a prothean plate that was four feet long. As the laughter between the two died down, Tevos shook her head, "What happened to that plate?"

"Don't ask!" Tatiaria laughed and then became serious, "Liara can't know why she is being retrieved. It would only worry her."

"I will send somebody for her," Tevos promised. "It was nice talking with you. Let us hope that we are wrong and that the Matriarch is home soon."

"Thank you," Tatiaria smiled, "When you are back in Armali please have dinner with Delana and I."

Tevos smiled and then Tatiaria was gone. The Councilor knew that there were things that she was not being told and the fact that a request to have the Matriarch's daughter secured and returned to the home world was not a good sign. _Something must be wrong with the Matriarch_, Tevos thought as she began getting ready to leave her office. _Who can I send for Liara? I'll ask Lida tonight._


	20. A Drunk & A DoubleCross

Shepard and Alenko stood in silence as the now two empty boots remained upright by the half wall across from Chora's Den. Just a few seconds earlier there had been two turians standing there as the trio came into view with one saying, "Here she is … come ge-". His words were cut off as Alenko lifted both of them and threw them over the side with his biotics. Just seconds before, Shepard had stepped in front of unarmed Williams and had her pistol halfway out before Alenko had worked his magic.

Williams had run to the wall and looked over to see the turians falling, while both Alenko and Shepard were transfixed on the boots. Williams turned to look at the two who were silent and then looked in the direction of their attention, "Holy, shit! Did you knock one of them out of their boots?"

"Yeh," Kaidan breathed, removing his cap and twisting it around in his hands.

Williams walked closer to the boots, "How is that even possible?"

Shepard put her hand on his forearm and softly turned him towards her, "Are you alright, Lieutenant?"

Alenko pulled his eyes away from the boots and looked at Shepard, "I couldn't let them hurt you … uh, or you Chief Williams."

Williams looked at Alenko, "Thanks LT for including me … even as an afterthought."

Shepard cleared her throat and gave one more look at the boots, "Let's go find this Harkin."

"What about the two … well, turians?" Alenko asked.

"We'll inform the C-Sec Officer Vakarian when we find him," Shepard said, matter-of-factly. "After all, I don't think that they are going anywhere."

Williams kicked one of the boots over, "I wouldn't of believed that was possible."

Shepard looked over the half wall and saw one of the turian sprawled on a ledge but couldn't see the other. "Should we be offended that Saren just sent two?"

Williams looked around them, "Do you think that they had back-up?"

Just then a couple turian appeared, causing Alenko to bring up his right hand. Shepard pulled it down as the two strangers paid no attention to the trio as they headed for Chora's Den, "I appreciate you protecting us, Knight Alenko ... But try and not kill everyone."

"Sorry, Commander." Alenko blushed.

Shepard looked at Williams who was still looking at the boots, "Stay on-guard."

"Yes, Commander." Williams nodded, "But I would feel more comfortable with a weapon."

"Take one of those boots," Shepard teased, despite the throb in her head.

"Ha, ha!" Williams scrunched, "Was that your secret trick during the Blitz? Boot assaults?"

Shepard laughed, "Boot assaults and alot of running!"

* * *

><p>The dancer was moving her hips to the beat of the Flesh 9's "Taste Me" over the bar, her ass moving in a way that promised pleasures while her hands were held out in front of her, beckoning an imaginary lover to her. "A million light years from where humanity began and we walk into a bar filled with men drooling over half naked women shaking their asses on a stage. I can't decide if that is funny or sad," Williams said.<p>

"What, you don't think they're here because of the food?" Alenko asked, as a human waitress passed by them with two beers and a plate of nachos on a tray.

"Uh, no," Williams made a face at him. "But do you think we could get a plate of those while we are? I am hungry."

Shepard left the two at the entrance as she walked up to the bar, waiting to speak to the bartender. This brought the asari in her area to stop and turn towards her which Williams was beginning to get the creeps over. No matter where they went, the asari noticed the Commander in a freaky way and the looks they gave her weren't normal. Williams turned to Alenko and said over the music, "Damn! What is it about her?"

Alenko had not heard her as he was looking at the exposed breasts of an asari who in fact was approaching them, "I see why this place is so popular, it's got quite the-a view."

"Hey, Lieutenant," Williams shook her head, seeing that he was acting over them the way they acted over Shepard, "put your tongue back in your mouth before you trip on it."

As the asari smiled at Alenko she moved towards the Commander, who was leaning on the bar motioning the bartender over. Williams stepped in front of the Commander's back and looked at the asari ... no way was she getting near the Commander. Shepard was too busy trying to talk with the bartender to notice how she was being protected by her Gunnery Chief. Alenko not wanting to have problems between Williams or the dancer put his hand out towards the asari, "Hi, I'm Lieutenant Alenko. Can we help you?"

The asari looked at his hand, "I'm Dmitra." She said to him and then looked towards Shepard, "Your companion looks familiar … Who is she?"

"Commander Shepard," Williams answered, not moving from her position. "We are here on official business."

Shepard, having been told where Harkin was seated by the bartender, turned to see the two talking with the asari, "Hello, can I help you?"

"Commander Shepard?" Dmitra smiled putting out her hand like Alenko, "Have we met before?"

"Really?" Williams scoffed, "Even asari use that lame pick-up line?"

Shepard, avoiding shaking the asari's hand, shook her head slighty, "I don't believe so."

"I never forget a face," Dmitri dropped her hand but still smiling at Shepard. "I've seen you before."

"Maybe on vids," Alenko offered, "the Commander was the hero of the Skyllian Blitz. You might have seen her because of that."

The asari seemed to be looking so closely at the Commander as if taking notes of every angle, feature and scars on her face, "Maybe that is it. Well, if you are hungry or thirsty please let me know. I would love to see that you are satisfied while you are here."

As the asari walked away, Alenko watching her sway, Williams looked at Shepard, "Catnip! Pure asari catnip, Commander. I wonder if there are asari truckstops ... you could make enough to retire there."

Shepard cocked an eye at Williams, "And you would be my pimp, I'm guessing?"

"Well, someone would have to keep the money," Williams joked back. "After all, you wouldn't have pockets."

"Pockets?" Alenko asked, missing the conversation.

* * *

><p>The krogan hated these kinds of places as there was no gambling, fighting or at the least big screens with fighting. On his personal time he would never frequent this "fleshy" place but this wasn't personal, this was business. The target's bodyguard, another krogan, would not let him near him and threatened, "Back off Wrex … Fist told us to take you down if you showed up."<p>

Wrex knew that the krogan wasn't a match for him and so he pushed back, "What are you waiting for? I'm standing right here. This is Fist's only chance, if he's smart he'll take it."

The bodyguard knew who Wrex was and hoped that with the crowd the battlemaster would back off, "He's not coming out Wrex … end of story."

"This story is just beginning," Wrex warned, knowing that he would wait until the target moved out in the open. Fist would have to leave the club sooner or later and Wrex was patient. Not a normal trait of a krogan but Wrex had never been accused of being normal. As he turned to go a human stepped in front of him, causing him to growl, "Out of my way, human. I have no quarrel with you."

Shepard stepped back as she looked into the face of the krogan. _Beast?_ She thought as their eyes met. _No, it can't be. God, I must be tired or this headache is really making me unstable._

As Wrex moved away he knew he had seen her before although not in person. He would have remembered that, he told himself. But there was something familiar about her.

Alenko seeing the krogan walk away, asked, "What was that all about?"

Williams, seeing a krogan in person for the first time, really wished that she had a weapon ... even a boot, "Who knows, let's just try and not get caught in the middle."

Shepard still watching the krogan walk away was brought back to reality by the very person she was there to see. Harkin had noticed the Alliance Officer as she made her way around the bar. He had not seen a woman that beautiful since the asari Aikaterine had come to the Citadel years prior. As she moved closer he also saw the other two but he didn't care, he downed his drink, shifted his balls and called out, "Hey there sweetheart, you looking for some fun? Cause I gotta say that soldier get up looks real good on that bod of yours. Why don't you sit your sweet little ass down beside ole' Harkin … have a drink, see where this goes."

Williams made a lunge toward him but was caught by Alenko who shook his head, "The Commander's got this."

"That son-a-bitch has no right to talk to her like that!" Williams spit as Alenko moved her back against the bar.

Shepard looked down at the half-drunk Harkin and as she felt anger at his words her mother's training silenced it, _Elizabeth, remember … He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city_. Shepard took a breath, "No, thank you."

Harkin rattled his glass toward the waitress and then turned back to Shepard, "Suit yourself princess. You know if more Marines looked like you I might have joined the Alliance instead of C-Sec."

Williams glared at Harkin and then looked at Alenko, "C'mon LT, the pig is asking for it!"

"And the Commander will take care of it," Alenko said calmly. He had also wanted to put his boot up the drunken C-Sec's backside as well but something told him that Shepard would not be pleased. Even being with her in this short time he saw how she did things different.

Shepard stepped closer, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You can take something else if your wet for it," Harkin leered as he grabbed his cock, "Hell … you don't even have to be wet."

Williams moved to tackle Harkin but Alenko was just too quick and as he pulled her back a glass, caught in the struggle, fell to the floor and broke.

Shepard heard the struggle and glass break behind her … but she ignored both that and Harkin's lewd comments, "Officer Harkin, I was told that you could help me find someone."

Harkin's eyes cleared a little more as he saw the Star of Terra and realized that the sweet thing in front of him was the frackin' hero of the Blitz. "Well, I'll be a … You're Commander Shepard! With your looks, what did you do? Fuck those batarians into submission on Elysium?"

"Okay, that's it!" Williams glared, Alenko wanted to knock out his teeth as well but instead he half-carried Williams out of the bar as she screamed, "You fuckin' asshole! This woman is worth mo-"

Shepard had instinctually balled up her fists but she knew that beating this drunken piece of shit would not get her what she needed. So through clenched teeth, she warned, "Harkin, I am trying to be civil … So either you respond in kind or I will gladly show you how I fucked the batarians on Elysium. I am nothing if not accommodating."

Harkin caught the change in the Commander's eyes, the death veil that clouded them and it told him that she had done things that were dark. "Okay, okay … Let me buy you a drink!"

Shepard slowly unclenched her hands and teeth as she looked away from Harkin. She had to center herself or things could get bloody. She saw the asari from earlier talking with two of her colleagues and all three were looking at her. She knew those looks … Harkin had also looked at her that way. She wanted out of the bar. "No drink, just information." Shepard turned back to face him, "Do you know where the C-Sec Officer Vakarian is?"

Harkin sat back a little less tense, "Garrus? Ha, you must be one of Captain Anderson's crew ... Poor bastard still trying to bring Saren down?"

The waitress brought Harkin another drink and he took it, half-emptying it in one gulp. He then pulled a pack of Sobranie, his hands slightly shaking and pulled out a cigarette. As he lit it, Shepard's patience was slipping away causing her to clinch her fists again, "Do you know where he is?"

As he took the cigarette from his mouth, blowing smoke rings into the air, he finally grinned, "I know where Garrus is … but you gotta tell me something first. Did the Captain let you in on his big secret?"

_Okay, God. Is this one of those lessons in patience?_ Shepard thought as Harkin readjusted his balls. _Or are you just tormenting me for mama?_ "Look, Harkin … I just need to find this Garrus, not play _I've Got a Secret_."

Harkin was trying to stall the Commander, trying to make sure that Garrus got the information. He knew that Garrus would use the information to bring down Saren, but he didn't know if this Commander Shepard would. He knew Anderson would, hell … Anderson would blow a krogan if it meant bringing down Saren. That thought made him chuckle. But Udina might bury it for political favors like the previous Ambassador had on his own case against Saren. So he continued to stall ... "The Captain used to be a SpecTRe … Didn't know that did you? It was all very hush, hush. The first human ever given that honor and then he blew it. Screwed up his mission so bad they kicked him out. Of course, he blames Saren … Said the turian set him up."

"Just tell me where Garrus went," Shepard said, not caring if what he said was true or not. She personally had so many rumors going around about herself that she knew how even truths could be twisted into lies. She hated second hand information, prefering to go to the source whenever possible. Her mother had also instilled in her to never give an ear to gossip.

Harkin saw the other two Alliance goons coming back into the bar, the bitch glaring at him as they came and he knew that if he stalled any longer he might end up with her on top of him … And not in the way he would want. "Garrus was sniffing around Dr. Michel's office," Harkin finally told her. "She runs the med clinic on the other side of the wards. Last I heard he was going back there."

Shepard picked up Harkin's drink and placed it on the bar, "Harkin, why don't you sober up ... You still have a chance of turning yourself around."

Harkin looked at Shepard, thought of his family long gone, his career down the tubes and those turian bastards and waved her away, "Save your sermons … this ain't no church."

* * *

><p>The quarian had just re-checked her wound fearing that the human doctor may not have properly treated it. The fever from the polonium round had finally gone away, the pain had subsided but but better safe than sorry. She was known for being pessimistic, or umnij' va as her people called it, a trait that was common among them. A people who had experienced a loss of their homeworld, loss of an embassy, scorned by other races as dirty, stealing migrants who deserved what they got and roaming the galaxy in a beat up caravan of sorts was bound to see things a little more stripped of hope. Her umnij' va had not been proven wrong since coming to the Citadel four days prior either. Since arriving from Illium on a turian freighter as a stowaway, she had not only been shot but that was quickly followed by being thrown out by the embassy ... oh, where she had also been called a "suit rat" at the same time by the turian clerk. That ugly term had followed her around the Citadel since she had landed as well as being kicked out of places. Before the Embassy had tossed her so had a small turian eatery. The owner had accused her of being a thief as well as a beggar, even though she had money to buy food.<p>

Saren's assassins had found her on her second day there, she had just been turned away from that eatery and her mind not only thinking that she was safe out in the open in that area, but also still smarting from those words had let her guard down. In that moment she had been shot in the arm, followed by a fever within seconds and as she began cursing herself she sprinted through the pedways and lost her attackers. But she knew that she could not hide for very long so she had decided to try and trade the data that she was carrying for safe protection. Her umnij' va was rewarded time after time.

Luckily she had found Dr. Michel after a turian doctor turned her away. He saw the gunshot wound and pushed her out, telling her to go to the C-Sec … "I do not want to get involved!" Dr. Michel had taken her in, removed the bullet, bandaged her up and then listened to her problem. It was her advice to seek out the owner of Chora's Den who was known to work for the Shadow Broker on occasion that led her here. Now as the quarian arrived at the meeting spot to scope it out early she pulled out her Citadel souvenir ... the bullet removed from her arm. She had wanted to keep it as a reminder of what happens when you let your guard down. Once she got through this safely she was going to have a chain attached to it so that she could attach it to her suit. But despite her pessimism … she knew that she would make it through this. Now all she had to do was wait. Things were about to change, she told herself.

* * *

><p>As Shepard looked at the five dead thugs in the med clinic she re-adjusted her beret, "Williams, I think you might need to go back to the Normandy and get a rifle …"<p>

"Or two," Alenko added, as he poured a glass of water from the cooler. He had not used his biotics this much since he was a kid and he needed water … and food. He wished that he had grabbed some peanuts at least at the club but his mind had been on other things. First the asari's ... uh, well ... and then keeping Williams from killing that drunk pig.

Garrus stepped up to the Commander, "Perfect timing, Shepard … Gave me a clear shot at that bastard!"

Shepard, remembering the doctor being held by one of the thugs and Garrus risking the hostage by shooting the punk in the head, scolded him, "What were you thinking? You could have hit the hostage!"

Garrus backed up, "There wasn't time to think, I just reacted … I didn't mean to … Dr. Michel are you hurt?"

The doctor, still shaken, as she looked over at her nurse just coming out from under the receptionist's desk, looked at Garrus, "No … I'm okay. Thanks to you. All of you." The doctor had always been attracted to the C-Sec Officer but he had never appeared interested in her. She had known him for five years at least and she had never known him to date anyone ... human, turian, asari, anyone. She had invited him over for dinner a few times but they chatted as friends, him never taking her hints that she would have been open for more.

Shepard knew that this doctor had information that they needed and she put her hand on the shaken woman's shoulder, moved in close and said softly, "I know those men threatened you but if you tell us who they work for we can protect you."

The doctor looked into the Commander's green eyes and knew that she could be trusted so she told her about the quarian who had come to her just a few days prior. When Garrus heard that the doctor had put her in touch with Fist he remembered the report that had come over his C-Sec feed on his visor. A krogan had been taking to the C-Sec Academy for questioning after threatening the owner. He tapped his visor for an update on the feed and after confirming what he had read he looked at Shepard, "Commander, Fist is no longer working with the Shadow Broker. It seems that he double-crossed him."

The doctor shook her head, "Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid even for him."

"Was it Saren?" Alenko asked as he moved away from the water cooler with a full glass of water in his hand.

"Only one that would make sense," Garrus answered. "That quarian must have something Saren wants ... Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."

Shepard looked at the water and two pills that Alenko was offering her, "They give me a little relief when I have a migraine… not much, but anything is better than nothing." He softly said to her with a slight flush to his cheeks.

Shepard smiled at him as she accepted them, "Thanks."

"Did the quarian mention anything about Saren? Or the geth?" Alenko asked as he watched Shepard knock back the pills and water.

"She did!" Doctor Michel said, "The information she was going to trade she said had something to do with the geth."

Shepard looked over at Williams, could see the pain at the mention of the geth and gave her a pat on the shoulder, "We'll see that these tin men get what they deserve, Williams."

Garrus moved towards Shepard, "She must be able to link Saren to the geth … There's no way the Council can ignore this!"

Shepard looked at her team, "Time we paid this Fist a visit."

Garrus did not want to miss out and stopped Shepard, "This is your show Shepard. But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do … I'm coming with you."

Shepard looked at Alenko and Williams then back at Garrus, "You're a turian … why do you wanna bring him down?"

"I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation but I knew what was really going on," he responded passionately, "Saren is a traitor to the Council and a disgrace to my people."

Shepard could tell that the turian was sincere and having a C-Sec Officer with her would give her an independent witness. She needed that if they found anything … and the fact that he was a turian was even better. So she agreed and as they were about to leave she stopped and looked over at the area with the dead thugs, "Does the C-Sec mind if my Chief borrows one of those weapons on the ground?"

"I have been feeling a little naked," Williams said as she eyed the assault rifle.

"I haven't," Alenko smiled as he help up his hand and made a blue ball of energy appear.

"Kiss my a-" Williams started but was silenced as Shepard put her finger over her lips.

Garrus went over at what Williams had looked at, picked it up and handed it to her, "You know we're not the only ones going after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out."

Williams, looking the weapon over, remembered, "Yeh, we saw him in the bar."

Shepard thought of the krogan and smiled, "A krogan might come in handy."

Williams and Alenko looked at the Commander concerned. Krogans were both feared and hated by other species, an absolute killing machine in close quarters and here Shepard was about to seek one out? "Commander," Alenko looked at Shepard with concern, "is it wise to bring a krogan with us?"

"Yeh, Commander," Williams seconded, "If he goes off … I don't think our guns are big enough. I mean, krogans are big but he was … what?" Williams looked at Alenko.

"At least 7 ½ feet?" he responded. "He could crush us just by his weight alone. I mean, he must weigh over a ton!"

"Then we'll make sure that he knows we're not chairs," Shepard laughed. She remembered how the krogan on Mindoir had let a 10-year-old girl hang on him, pester him and he had not hurt her. Now as an adult she realized how aware of his strength and her weakness he must have been for that to happen. The Beast had been as gentle as he could with her and now as an adult she recognized that … With that knowledge she knew that they just weren't killing machines. Or at least some of them … okay, Beast. She wouldn't allow herself to believe that this krogan was him but she also couldn't let go of her curiosity. She had to know for sure.


	21. Sweeping House

The turian officers, knowing how the krogan felt about them, normally wouldn't care but this krogan was different. Wrex was a krogan battlemaster … not only strong but extremely lethal and biotic. He had more kills under his belt then the whole of the current C-Sec. So they gladly stood back as they let their human colleague talk to him, "intimidate him". That last part was a joke that was on the human ... No turian would try and intimidate Wrex but a human ... the turians knew this might be interesting to watch.

"Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar," Officer Lee stated, adding, "Stay away from him!"

Wrex looked at the soft human and moved closer, "I don't take orders from you."

The officer could feel sweat rolling down his back but with the two turians watching he pressed on, "This is your only warning, Wrex!"

"You should warn Fist," Wrex said, knowing that he could handle the entire room if needed. "I will kill him."

The officer felt his balls roll up into his stomach as Wrex moved even closer, but if he moved away he could lose his job, "You want me to arrest you?"

Wrex laughed, "I want you to try."

As Wrex contemplated crushing the man's skull he turned and saw the human from the bar approaching. He forgot the officer and even ignored him yelling, "Go on, get out of here!" as he met her halfway.

As they stood facing each other, Wrex looked at her closely, "Do I know you, human?"

Shepard looked back at the krogan and remembered the long deep scars on the right side. _How many krogans could look like him?_ She wondered to herself. This had to be Beast, but since she wasn't a 100% sure she simply introduced herself, "My name's Shepard. I'm going after Fist … thought you might like to come along."

Wrex looked at the female. He had read about her on Elysium and had noted from that same article that she had come from Mindoir, the planet that his warrior pup had been on. Looking at her now he saw the same dark hair, same colored eyes, but that was a pup and this was an adult. _Are you that warrior pup?_ He privately thought to himself … He wasn't sure, so he simply responded. "Aaaaah, Shepard. Commander Shepard. I've heard a lot about you. We're both warriors, Shepard. Out of respect, I'll give you fair warning … I'm going to kill Fist."

Garrus wasn't sure this was a good idea anymore as he saw that the krogan might be trouble, "Fist knows you're coming. We'll have a better chance if we all work together."

Wrex ignored the turian and said to Shepard, "My people have a saying, seek the enemy of your enemy and you will find a friend."

Shepard extended her hand as she smiled, "I like that … I think we're gonna get along just fine, Wrex."

Wrex knew that he could crush her hand if he wasn't careful so he put his hand out, letting her hold his in the shake. "Let's go … I hate to keep Fist waiting."

* * *

><p>The turian, Antanius, had awakened bound to a chair, blood all down the front of him. As his eyes began to clear he realized that he was in a kitchen and as he looked around he saw that an asari was leaning against the counter. He groaned, causing her to look up at him and call out, "He has awakened."<p>

_I'm alive?_ He thought. _But why?_ Antanius was confused. There had been four of them in the alley waiting for the signal to be given by their leader, Cronus, who had went to the entrance of Chora's Den with another member. The plan was to attack the Commander and her two Alliance soldiers from both directions. It was a good plan … Except that they had not planned on the two asari commando shadowing the human. Just as the voice of Cronus was heard coming over the comm. He felt extreme pain and then nothing until now. As three asari appeared from the other room he looked at the wound in his right side and wondered again why they had left him alive.

As he shifted in the seat, about to ask where he was he saw movement to the left and as he turned she came out of the shadows. In that moment, he knew that his life was about to end. He quickly turned away from her and said to the asari directly in front of him "I don't know anything!", hoping that if he didn't seem to recognize the asari Councilor he might be spared.

The Councilor looked at the dying turian … Tevos hated to get information this way but sacrifices must be made. She didn't regret this because of the turian but because it required one of her own to meld with him. "Psyria," Tevos turned to her executive assistant, "Please forgive me for requesting this of you."

Psyria looked at the Councilor and bowed her head, "No, Councilor … it is an honor."

Antanius looked around for tools, weapons, anything but all he saw was the asari coming towards him as the others moved away. Had he known what was about to happen to him ... he might have realized that those things would be easier than what the asari was about to do to him.

Psyria was already feeling his mind, as if peeking into a window of a home. But this part was easy … peeking. What she was about to do was break down the door, go through every article, every piece of furniture, every drawer, every corner of the house as she blew out the windows, the roof, stripped off the wallpaper, ripped up the floor … this would be a search and destroy melding. When she was done all the asari would need to do is wait until his dying body matched his empty mind.

This was a necessary evil as the Councilor needed to know who had sent these assassins to kill the Commander. If it was Saren then she would need to get a private word to Valern. While Sparatus was not corrupt, as Psyria's meldings had confirmed, he had shown instability to the Council by his previous actions. Allowing Saren to see the files of Nihlus and the call to the Executor Pallin made his judgment questionable. Yes, she knew about the call … the asari had spies and monitoring devices everywhere. But having this network of information was a burden as the Councilor also knew that there was a spy for the Shadow Broker in her own staff. Instead of bringing this to the light, she gave just the right amount of "information" to the individual. Better to know the snake in your garden then not.

The turian began to scream as Psyria invaded his mind and Tevos thought of her talk with Tatiaria earlier. She knew that her ex-lover was hiding something and that it had to do with the Matriarch but at the time she had pushed it to the side … Now that she was not looking into the eyes of her beloved it mattered. The request to get the Matriarch's daughter to safety told her that whatever it was could have far reaching consequences. Tevos began to smell a foul odor and realized that the turian had released his body fluids as Psyria continued to pull away the layers. Urine was running down his legs and onto the floor while she knew that he had also defecated based off the odor. Tevos sighed as she prayed to the Goddess that this sweep of the turian's mind was worth it.

* * *

><p>It had felt wrong from the moment they approached her and as the turian asked if she had brought the data, she cursed herself. <em>How could she be so stupid<em>? She looked around to see if there was anyone else arriving and then asked, "Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?"

"They'll be here," he had answered her as he put his hand on her, "Where's the evidence?

"No, wait," she stopped him as she slapped his hand away from her, "the deals off!"

She felt the turian start to pull at her and as she began to run she tossed a tech mine more for distraction than damage. Tears were threatening to fall and this would not do … if she could not see then she was dead. That's when she heard the first shot. She jumped behind a crate, pulling out her knife that had been strapped on her boot when she felt someone push her farther down from behind. She quickly turned to stab the person when she saw a female human protecting her as she returned fire on the turian.

Shepard and Alenko upon hearing the blast had run ahead of the team and when Shepard saw the quarian pinned behind a crate it angered her. She saw the turian, pistol drawn, approaching the defenseless thing and she knew that he would not leave this alley alive. Tali kept a hold on her knife but she crouched smaller behind the woman. It was then that she saw a turian, krogan and another human come down the alley and as they worked together to quickly put down the assassins she couldn't believe her eyes. She had never seen such a mix of races together.

As the dust settled, Wrex began to take what valuables he found on the bodies as Garrus pulled out his badge as he greeted the C-Sec officers who had just arrived en masse to the alley, guns drawn. "Detective Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec Presidium … It's okay … put your weapons down!"

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked, as she helped the quarian up. She had never seen one of them and she found the suit to feel sturdy like heavy tapestry. "You weren't shot were you?"

The quarian angry shouted, "Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!"

"Don't worry about Fist," Shepard said as she looked over at Wrex. "He got what was coming to him."

"Then I guess there are two things I need to thank you for," she said as the human put her firearm back into its holster. "Who are you?"

"My name's Shepard," she answered, hoping that this quarian could help her.

Wrex, done with collecting his spoils of war, looked over at Williams. After he had completed his contract and Fist lay dead in his office, she had pulled her rifle on him. Him! He still heard the words, "Drop the gun, krogan!" and it made him glad. This female had quads and as he saw her staying close to Shepard this was the way it should be. The warrior would need strong support and both humans had impressed him. The male human displayed amazing biotic abilities and control, hitting one of the assassins so hard that he had pushed a portion of its insides out through the mouth. Yes, they were a good choice for the warrior woman. He walked over to Shepard and asked if she needed him any further.

Shepard looked at the krogan, fighting from asking if he had ever let a kid crawl all over him, and shook her head, "We should be okay. I appreciate your help, Wrex."

"Good," he answered, wishing that she had said yes instead. "I'll be at a place called Flux if you need a real warrior … unlike this weak female." Wrex looked over at Williams who was gripping her rifle, ready if he made a move against Shepard.

Shepard looked back at Williams and then smiled at Wrex, "Flux, huh? Well, if I need someone taken down I'll give you a call … Just promise me that if you are approached to kill me that you won't take the contract."

Wrex laughed as he walked off causing the C-Sec Officers to jump. The quarian had jumped as well and looked at Shepard. She had never known that the krogan actually laughed and wondered who this woman really was. She had all these people following her, could make a krogan laugh and now standing relaxed she saw that the human was also beautiful. Shepard having watched Wrex until he was no longer in sight turned to the quarian who hidden behind her mask was looking at Shepard's lips, "May I be honest with you?"

"Sure," Tali could not imagine this person being dishonest. She knew that looks could be deceiving, knew that beauty was not a recipe for honesty but it was in Shepard's eyes. The way that they could smile made you trust them.

Shepard wished that she could look into the quarian's eyes, be able to connect visually, but instead she saw her own reflection, "I'm looking for evidence to prove that a SpecTRe named Saren Arterius is a traitor."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life," the quarian loved that she could repay this human and after being on the run for so long, she would have kissed the human if she could. But then as she relaxed under Shepard's smiling eyes she thought of the bullet in her pocket and said, "But not here … we need to go somewhere safe."

Shepard looked around at the area crawling with C-Sec Officers and before she could comment Alenko suggested, "The Ambassador's office. It's safe there … He'll wanna see this anyway."

Garrus hearing that they were about to leave said that he would stay behind to file the necessary reports, "But I'll meet you later?" He did not want to miss out on seeing Saren exposed.

Shepard nodded, "If we see the Council again, the Lieutenant here will send you a message."

"Promise?" Garrus looked at Alenko.

"You have my word," Alenko promised.

* * *

><p>The human ambassador's office had been fielding calls shortly after Shepard had entered the med center in the upper ward. Udina's executive assistant, Antun Obradovićo, had even joked with the senior secretary that they could just track the Commander's path by bodies. Sparatus had called Udina and demanded that the Commander be returned to the Normandy.<p>

Udina had informed both the turian Councilor and the C-Sec Executor that the Commander would continue her investigation and if they tried to stop her there would be repercussions. He had put his neck out and hoped that she turned something … hell, anything up. It had taken two diazepam followed by bourbon to calm his nerves and when the Commander finally showed up, he snapped, "You're not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the Wards, an all out assault on Chora's Den … do you know how many …" and then he saw her. "Who's this? A quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?"

Shepard could see the stress on Udina's face and smiled, "Making your day, Ambassador. She has information linking Saren to the Geth."

Udina looked at the quarian and back at the Commander, "I apologize Commander … this whole thing with Saren has me a bit on edge. Maybe you should start at the beginning, Miss …?"

The quarian moved forward, "My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

Udina was partial to the quarian race as he felt that they were like his own people throughout history. Misunderstood and ostracized. He put out his arm for Tali to take it and then he escorted her to the sitting area. As he passed his assistant he instructed for him to bring a tray with tea and a tube of Vergil, a slightly sweet and light alcohol from Palaven. Had Tali's face been visible he would have seen her grin as Vergil was her favorite. Anderson rushed in after hearing that Shepard was back and arrived just in time to hear Udina ask, "We don't see many quarians here, why did you leave the flotilla?"

Tali found Udina to be nice, a lot nicer than the turian clerk, and as they sat down she began to explain how she was on her pilgrimage to him and Anderson. Shepard heard Williams' stomach growl for the umpteenth time and realized that she was famished herself now. "Dinner once we get out of here," she whispered to Alenko and Williams.

Shepard then moved closer to where the others were sitting and heard Tali saying, "During my travels I began hearing reports of geth … since they drove my people into exile the geth have never ventured beyond the veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit. Then I disabled it and removed its memory core."

Anderson found that hard to believe and said, "I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died … Some kind of defense mechanism."

Shepard saw the quarian start to wring her hands and thought of her childhood friend, Ewald. He had done the same thing when he got nervous and it touched her heart. She moved closer to the quarian, sitting next to her, "How did you manage to preserve the memory core?"

Tali turned to Shepard on the couch and continued, "My people created the geth … if you're quick, careful and lucky small caches of data can sometimes be saved. Most of the core was wiped clean but I salvaged something from its audio banks."

The quarian began fiddling with her omni-tool until the voice of Saren was heard … "Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit."

"That's Saren's voice!" Anderson yelled out, causing Tali to stop the recording. This is what he had been dreaming of for years, to defeat Saren. To see Saren brought down as he had been … "This proves he was involved in the attack."

"He said that Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the conduit," Shepard looked at Tali, "Any idea what that means?"

Anderson, so excited about this moment of victory answered, "The conduit must have something to do with the beacon. Maybe it's some kind of prothean technology ... like a weapon!"

Tali could see that this human hated Saren, "Wait! There's more … Saren wasn't working alone."

She re-started the audio … "Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit." Then a female voice followed, "And one step closer to the return of the reapers."

"I don't recognize that other voice," Udina said. "The one talking about reapers."

_Reapers_, Shepard heard in her head, "I feel like I've heard of them before."

"According to the memory core," Tali explained, "the reapers were a hyper advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago. The reapers hunted the protheans to total extinction and then they vanished! At least that's what the geth believed."

Udina furrowed his brow, "Sounds a little farfetched."

The vision, or snatches of it, ran in Shepard's mind. "The vision on Eden Prime," Shepard looked at Anderson, "I understand it now ... I mean, part of it … I think. I saw the protheans being wiped out by the reapers."

Williams and Alenko looked at each other worried as did Udina's staff. The looks were caught by the Ambassador and all he needed was for rumors about this information on the streets. So he got up and dismissed his staff as he poured himself bourbon. "Would anyone like anything to drink besides tea?"

As the room poured themselves drinks and Williams raided a candy dish, refusing to share with Alenko … Udina sent a request for another hearing with the Council.


	22. Widower's Comfort

"And you couldn't tell me?" Tevos yelled, causing Psyria to close the Councilor's office door.

"Ciara," Tatiaria begged, "please understand. The Matriarch has only followed Saren to make sure that whatever he was doing failed."

"Failed?" Tevos laughed, "He has geth … geth! Where is she?"

Tatiaria lowered her head, as she whispered, "I do not know. Sister has not … I do not know."

Tevos saw Tatiaria hurting and it took the steam from her, "When was the last time that you spoke with the Matriarch?"

Tatiaria looked up at Tevos, "Longer than you … I fear that if she is doing everything he asks then he is forcing her."

"Forcing her? How could he … a mere turian force her? I can't think of anyone who could force the Matriarch … can you?"

Tatiaria looked at a holo of her sister raising her infant daughter up over her head and laughing, "There is only one thing that he could use."

"Liara," Tevos banged her fist down on the table. "That is why you wanted me to return her home!"

"No!" Tatiaria answered. "We just wanted her safe. Nothing more."

"I have to share this information," Tevos looked at her hands. "I cannot protect the Matriarch, even if she is still doing this for Thessia."

"Give her time," Tatiaria pleaded. "You know the Matriarch! Benezia has to have a plan!"

"Yes, a plan. We all must have a plan." It was up to Tevos to make sure that whatever Saren was up to that it was crushed if it threatened her people and all races. "Psyria!"

Her assistant rushed in, "Yes, Councilor."

"Please ask Councilor Valern to come to my office."

As Psyria left, closing the door behind her, Tatiaria asked, "What are you going to do?"

"I am going to ensure that our people are protected," Tevos answered, feeling exhausted. "I am going to do exactly as the Matriarch would want … even if that means rising against her."

"And Liara?"

Tevos thought of the asari that she had known since infancy, Liara with her sweet and curious nature … "I will have her brought here. She will remain here until this matter is resolved."

"Matriarch Livia has requested her home," Tatiaria said, knowing that this would obligate the Councilor to returning Liara to Thessia.

Tevos looked at Tatiaria and with ice in her eyes said, "As Councilor of the asari … Liara T'Soni will remain here on the Citadel until I … and only I say otherwise. This decision is made to ensure that Liara is not used by any party for position or persuasion. As I say so shall it be done."

"Yes, Councilor." Tatiaria said as she bowed her head. She knew that the Matriarch would not be pleased at this turn of events but as Councilor, Tevos could override any decision by a Matriarch. This would not be a normal or wise decision except in extreme cases … like today.

"We all must sacrifice for Thessia." The Councilor said and then ended the transmission. As the image of Tatiaria disappeared Tevos began to cry.

Tatiaria knew that the Councilor was right. If the Matriarch had fallen in line with Saren and was working towards a plan that would hurt Thessia then … _Oh, sister_, Tatiaria prayed as a tear fell down her face, _please stay strong_.

* * *

><p>"I think the Ambassador has the hots for the quarian," Williams laughed as they headed out for dinner.<p>

"How can he be attracted to someone he can't even see?" Alenko asked.

Shepard thought of how she saw only herself reflected when she spoke with the quarian, wanting to make a joke about how that would make it possible for Udina to screw himself … but then she thought of her mother, saw her scolding her for such a rude joke and kept quiet. "Who knows," she said instead. "I hear that the Embassy Lounge has a really great chicken salad."

"Expensive I bet," Williams said.

"Who cares," Alenko responded. "The Ambassador said to put it on his tab."

"Put a quarian in the room and he is a regular Prince Charming." Williams noted. "We should keep her around."

"Excuse me, Commander Shepard!" A lone man called out, "Could you spare a moment of your time?"

Interruptions … this was the last thing Shepard wanted. Food … that is what Shepard wanted. "Keep going," she whispered as they hit the lobby.

"Commander Shepard!" He cried out louder as they passed by him, "My name is Samesh Bhatia!"

"Bhatia?" Williams grabbed Shepard by the arm. "Shepard … dinner can wait, right?"

"Easy for you to say," Alenko moaned, "you've had almost a whole bowl of candy."

Shepard looked back at the lone figure and then Williams and frowned, "Okay!" Williams smiled and Shepard added, "He has 5 minutes!"

The trio walked over to him, "You need to see me?"

The older man apologetically answered, "Forgive the intrusion, but I have nowhere else to turn."

Shepard looked at Williams and then back at him, "It's no trouble. What can I do for you?"

"My wife was a Marine," he started. "She was in the 212 on Eden Prime."

"Wait, the 212?" Williams knew it, "Your wife was serviceman Nirali Bhatia … I'm Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. I served in her unit."

Samesh looked at the officer and remembered her face from vids that his wife had sent him, "Chief Williams! It is a pleasure. Nirali spoke of you with great respect."

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mr. Bhatia," Williams had loved his wife; she had never met a kinder soul. "Nirali was a good woman. What can we do for you?"

Samesh explained to the trio that the military had refused to return his wife's body to him without explanation. Williams argued that they could not keep her body without reason as both Shepard and Alenko both just wanted to get to the restaurant.

Shepard took the man's hand and said, "Mr. Bhatia … I'll see what I can find out. Just give Williams your information and we'll send you an update."

"I promise, we will look into this," Williams told him.

Samesh gave Williams the name of the hotel he was staying at and added, "The man in charge of my case is a Mr. Bosker. When I last saw him he was in the expensive bar over there."

"The Embassy Lounge?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, that's the place."

"Of course it is," Alenko rubbed his stomach again.

"We were on our way there now," Williams said. "We will speak with this Mr. Bosker, wait here."

"Shit." Shepard said under her breath. Normally she would have been all up to helping but it had been over 24 hours since she had a real meal. Her stomach was starting to hurt. Williams shot Shepard a look and Shepard shrugged like a little girl as she mouthed _I'm sorry, I'm hungry_.

Samesh having not heard Shepard's slip looked at her, "Thank you for your time. I just want to give my wife a proper funeral and the respect she deserves."

Those words hit Shepard hard, they made her think of her parents and guilt set in for her behavior, "No, Mr. Bhatia … Chief Williams is right, we will look into this."

As they entered the Embassy Lounge, Shepard and Alenko almost passed out from the smell of the food. It was some type of happy hour and a buffet had been set out to the left of the room. Shepard saw an actual turkey on the table … a turkey! As Shepard started to make a beeline for it, Williams stopped her. "I think that is him."

"Who?" Shepard asked seeing nothing but the beautiful golden … _is that tomatoes_? _Oh my gidders! Cheese!_

Williams pulled the Commander toward a young man leaning next to the table, "Excuse me are you clerk Bosker?"

"Yes, I am." He answered Williams. He then looked at her companion who was still looking at the buffet, "My goodness, you're Commander Shepard. Your activities made quite a briefing in the Diplomatic Corps! Is there something I could do to assist you?"

Shepard tore her eyes away from the table as Alenko filled a plate for himself, "Yes. A man named Samesh Bhatia is having some trouble claiming his wife's body."

"Ah, Mr. Bhatia … A good man in an understandably frustrating position. I wish I could help him."

Alenko, mouth full of grapes, looked over at Shepard pointing at the chocolate cake. Shepard's stomach screamed for her to join him but Williams had a grip on her arm. Williams asked why Samesh Bhatia could not have his wife's remains.

"Serviceman Nirali Bhatia died on Eden Prime as Mr. Bhatia no doubt told you. Her wounds are inconsistent with any type of weapon damage we've seen before. That is why her body is being held."

Shepard looked at the clerk, "You're studying her injuries to learn more about geth weaponry."

Bosker nodded, "Yes, Commander … Her body is in fact extremely valuable to the Alliance. The tests we're conducting may lead to better defenses against geth attacks. Respectfully, Serviceman Bhatia may save more lives in death then she did in life."

Shepard understood, "I'll tell Mr. Bhatia about this … it might make it easier for him to understand."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. Please let me know if you have any other questions."

Shepard started to get a plate when Williams stopped her, "Commander, let's talk to Mr. Bhatia first."

Shepard looked over at Alenko who had found a table and was eating happily. She wished that she had one of those turian shoes … she would have thrown it at him. "Bastard", she said as Williams pulled her out of the Lounge.

Samesh Bhatia was seated and holding a scarf that once belonged to his wife. He thought of their two children and the tears began to fall. Williams saw him bent over and ran to him, putting her arm around him as she softly said, "It's okay, Mr. Bhatia."

He asked her through his grief, "Has any progress been made with Mr. Bosker? Will he return my wife's body?"

Williams looked up at Shepard not knowing how to tell the grieving man that the Alliance needed his wife's body … she looked to Shepard to help. "Mr. Bhatia," Shepard said as she squatted, "It's not as simple as I'd hoped … The military needs your wife's body for important tests."

"Tests?" He cried as he unburied his face and looked into the Commander's eyes, "They're holding my wife's body for tests? My wife served the Alliance faithfully, she gave her life for humanity and this is how they repay her?"

Shepard saw the pain and it made her think of her dad that night in their backyard. The night that he had cursed at Hannah's God, "Mr. Bhatia, your wife died defending humanity. We still need her help."

"What right does the military have to hold her body? She's already given her life!"

Shepard looked at Williams as the grieving man buried his face back into his hands, "She died a hero, Mr. Bhatia. And now she has a chance to save even more lives."

Bhatia curled his hands into fists as he raised his head, "It doesn't matter! She's dead!"

Williams took Nirali's scarf and began to wipe his face, "Yes, she is Mr. Bhatia. She died fighting for what she believed in. She sacrificed her life to keep you safe. I think she'd want to make the most of that sacrifice."

Bhatia, grabbed Williams' hands and with tears running down his face said, "You're right, Miss Williams. She would not flinch from her duty. Let them run their tests! Let my wife save lives so that others are spared the loss I feel today."

Williams voice got even softer, "Mr. Bhatia, I don't know if this helps … but your wife, Nirali, loved you very much. She missed your cooking and she played recordings of you every night before she went to sleep."

"I know, Miss Williams. But thank you … it's nice to hear it again." He answered as he began to cry again and Williams pulled him to her, holding him to her as he cried. As Shepard quietly left Williams with him he heard the Gunnery Chief tell him, "Mr. Bhatia, rest assured we will avenge your wife's death. We're dealing with the people who attacked Eden Prime."

* * *

><p>Sparatus was shown into the office of Tevos by Psyria and he was surprised to see Councilor Valern already there drinking coffee as Tevos put down her cup of sitruuna. "Councilor Sparatus," Tevos smiled. "Please have a seat."<p>

"What is this about?" he asked, nervous that this meeting might be about him and some of his actions of late.

"We have received perplexing news," Valern said, "news that the humans have just themselves discovered … and will be presenting shortly."

Psyria brought a glass of Vergil to Sparatus as he looked at the Councilors, "News?"

Tevos thanked Psyria and waited for her to exit, closing the doors behind her, "They are going to present proof that Saren was behind the attack on Eden Prime."

"What?" Sparatus slammed his drink down on the cocktail table. "Saren would never betray the Council … or his people!"

"Nor would the Matriarch Benezia," Tevos agreed, "But she is with Saren."

Sparatus knew the Matriarch and knew her to be an honorable asari, "And we are going to believe the proof of the humans?" Sparatus stood up and began to pace, "That Alliance Captain Anderson would do anything to discredit Saren and now … now they would try and disgrace your Matriarch?"

Valern looked at Tevos and then Sparatus, "And yet it is true. Both are engaging in treasonous behavior."

"And you would love that to be true!" Sparatus accused, "You would love for the asari and turian to be shown as traitors while your people look superior."

"Sparatus!" Tevos stood. "Such accusations against Valern are unprovoked and out of line!"

Sparatus looked at the two and sat back down. He knew Saren … He would never betray his people. Never. He also would not have killed Nihlus Kryik like that. No, this had to be false. Tevos and Valern sat silent as Sparatus processed the possibility of Saren being a traitor to the Council. As the minutes passed he finally asked, "What do we do? What are they going to try and gain by this … if it is true?"

"The Councilor will want protection for the human colonies," Valern answered.

"We cannot send a fleet ... that could ignite a war with the terminus system," Sparatus said to Valern. "No, we need to send a SpecTRe to stop him … but who?"

Tevos stood up and retrieved the file on Commander Elizabeth W. Shepard and placed it on the table, "The only person that has a chance."

As Sparatus looked at the photograph of the war hero receiving the Star of Terra, Valern disagreed. "No, Shepard lacks the training … let us send an experienced SpecTRe."

"I agree with you," Sparatus said to Tevos, "This Shepard may catch him off-guard."

Valern looked at Tevos and smiled. He had disagreed with her as planned pushing Sparatus to join her side … Sometimes it was good to know how your peers felt about you. Sparatus did not like the salarian and this had been used against him when needed. "And this Matriarch?"

"We acquire what is most precious to her," Tevos said. "Her daughter. Once we have her then we send word to the Matriarch. She will come for her … once here we will detain her."

"And you have a way of doing this?" Valern was always amazed at the skill of the asari Councilor. "Bringing the daughter here?"

"Yes." Tevos answered. "I have just the right person … and she will soon have a ship that is quick under her command."

Sparatus laughed, "The newly appointed human SpecTRe?"

Tevos smiled as Valern looked confused, "How do you know the Alliance will put their latest ship under her command? Putting her in charge of the Normandy would give that resource to us … Why would they do that?"

"Desperation," Sparatus laughed.

"The Alliance will want to keep some connection to the Commander," Tevos reasoned. "They will give her a ship, crew … all under the hopes that they will have a SpecTRe that they can send on missions."

"Come now," Valern shook his head, "They must know that she would no longer report to them … we are the only ones she would report to."

"Humans!" Sparatus spit.

"They are young," Tevos reminded her peers, "they think that they understand how the galaxy shifts … we must not discourage them."

"Why discourage them when they give us all their resources?" Valern would never understand humans … or turians.

"How do we know this asari isn't with her mother?" Sparatus asked, coming back to the Matriarch.

Tevos began pouring herself more sitruuna, "They haven't spoken in years."

"What's years to your kind?" Valern shook his head, "Minutes."

Tevos could have clapped at his quick mind, "True … but my sources say those _minutes _weren't due to just life. It was a falling out." She was misleading him on purpose to protect Liara T'Soni. She knew that once she got the young asari on the Citadel that others would want to use her but Tevos would see that she was protected.

Sparatus pulled out the photograph of Shepard during the victory celebration on Elysium and thought aloud, "It's a shame that she wasn't born turian."

Valern shook his head, "Salarian."

Tevos looked at the two Councilors arguing over Shepard and how if she had been born their kind she would have been that much better and laughed. She knew that the Commander was exceptional due to everything that she was … her race included. To change anything would be to lose what she was.

* * *

><p>Alenko had chocolate on his left cheek when Shepard returned to the Embassy Lounge and she started to laugh. He looked over at her and smiled as she picked up a plate. She didn't where to start ... but as she started to fill her plate she felt a hand on her shoulder, "Please Toledo, don't tell me we have to leave."<p>

"Sorry Commander," Williams said. "The Council is ready to meet with us. The Ambassador has requested that we head over now."

Shepard grabbed a dinner roll, chicken leg and an apple as she turned to leave.


	23. A SpecTRe Chosen

"You wanted proof, there it is." Udina announced after the recording was finished.

"This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador." Sparatus conceded. "Saren will be stripped of his SpecTRe status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes."

"I recognize the other voice, the one speaking with Saren." Tevos said, "Matriach Benezia." She then heard the Commander ask who she was … "Matriarchs are powerful asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experience … they serve as guides and mentors to my people. Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally for Saren."

Valern already knowing the course of this meeting had not anticipated one thing ... "I'm more interested in the reapers. What do you know about them?"

Anderson, still feeling good after seeing Saren stripped, answered the salarian Councilor, "Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core. The reapers were an ancient race of machines that wiped out the protheans. Then they vanished."

Shepard added, "The geth believe the reapers are gods and Saren is the prophet for their return."

"We think the conduit is the key to bringing them back," Anderson concluded. "Saren's searching for it, that's why he attacked Eden Prime."

Valern looked at Shepard, "Do we even know what this conduit is?"

Shepard shook her head, "Saren thinks that it can bring back the reapers, that's bad enough."

"Listen to what you are saying!" Sparatus cut in, "Saren what's to bring back machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible! It has to be! Where did the reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we found no trace of their existence? If they were real we would have found something."

"I tried to warn you about Saren and you refused to face the truth," Shepard reminded him, "Don't make the same mistake again."

Tevos looked down at Shepard, her mind already planning, "This is different. You proved Saren betrayed the Council, we all agree that he is using the geth to search for the conduit, but we don't really know why."

"The reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander." Valern gave his opinion. "A convenient lie to cover Saren's true purpose. A legend he is using the geth to bend to his will."

Shepard knew that the Council had to understand and believe in the reapers or they would not fully commit to stopping Saren, "50,000 years ago the reapers wiped out all galactic civilizations … if Saren finds the conduit it will happen again."

"Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life," Sparatus noted. "He no longer has the rights or resources of a SpecTRe. The Council has stripped him of his position."

"That is not good enough!" Udina argued. "You know he is hiding somewhere in the Traverse … send your fleet in!"

"A fleet cannot track down one man," Valern stated, moving the meeting along to the Council's predetermined destination.

"A Citadel fleet could secure an entire region," Udina explained. "Keep the geth from attacking anymore of our colonies."

"Or it could trigger a war with the terminus systems," Sparatus shot him down, "We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!"

_A few dozen human colonies?_ Shepard thought bitterly. She looked at Sparatus, "Every time humanity asks for help you ignore us!"

"Shepard's right!" Udina yelled. "I'm sick of this Council and its anti-human bullsh-"

"Ambassador!" Tevos took this moment to guide the meeting on its true purpose, "There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies."

Tevos looked at the Commander and then at Sparatus for his part of the play, "No! It's too soon! Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the SpecTRes."

Shepard looked at Tevos as she said, "You don't have to send a fleet into the traverse and the Ambassador gets his human SpecTRe. Everybody's happy."

This made Tevos smile inwardly; this was the Shepard that she had expected in the first meeting. Sparatus looked at Tevos and then the three Councilors cast their votes. Tevos looked at the three approvals on her console and said, "Commander Shepard, step forward."

Shepard looked at Anderson who nodded with a grin. But Shepard knew that she was about to pick up a hornet's nest and wondered how all of this had just happened. The Embassy feed was announcing that a SpecTRe was being sworn in and personnel was spilling out to witness it. Udina moved from the center and Shepard took his place, looking up as the area filled with various races that worked in the Council Chambers and offices.

Tevos looked at the Commander, "It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."

"SpecTRes are not trained but chosen," Valern said. "Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle … those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"SpecTRes are an ideal, symbol … the embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance." Tevos announced. "They are the right hand of the Council … Instruments of our will."

"SpecTRes bear a great burden, they are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense … the safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold." Sparatus finished.

Tevos then said to Shepard, "You are the first human SpecTRe, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

Shepard bowed her head, "I'm honored, Councilor."

"We are sending you into the Traverse after Saren," Valern said as he gave Shepard her first mission as a SpecTRe. "He is a fugitive from justice so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him."

"I'll find him," Shepard answered.

Tevos had just managed to steer all parties to what she desired ... Shepard becoming a SpecTRe. She just hoped that she would be successful in her other plans. She looked at Udina, "This meeting of the Council is adjourned."

Anderson, beaming, extended his hand, "Congratulations, Commander."

"Thank you, sir." Shepard smiled.

From the moment that it looked like the young Commander was getting accepted Udina began to plan. "We've got a lot of work to do, Shepard. You're going to need a ship, a crew … supplies."

"You'll get access to special equipment and training now," Anderson added. "You should go down to the C-Sec Academy and speak to the SpecTRe Requisitions Officer."

"Anderson, come with me," Udina said. "I'll need your help to set all this up."

Williams shook her head, "Not even a thank you from the Ambassador."

"Until I find Saren I haven't done anything," Shepard smiled. "C'mon. I need food."

"Right behind you, Commander." Alenko and Williams laughed, as Shepard's stomach growled.

* * *

><p>Shepard had decided to try a little eatery near Flux she had seen earlier called "Noodles" hoping that it would keep someone needing help from finding her. As they drew close to the eatery a blond man was heard to say, "Is that really … Wow! It's you! You're Commander Shepard! The hero of Eden Prime! I am so honored to meet you."<p>

Shepard sighed, knowing she was defeated and that some things you just couldn't fight. "Nice to meet you," she said like any good preacher's kid. "And you are?"

"My name is Conrad … Conrad Verner. They say you killed more than a hundred geth on Eden Prime."

Shepard could hear both Alenko and Williams giggling like two stupid kids behind her, "I spent most of my time trying to stay alive and help the colonists."

"We'll get us a table," Williams said, leaving Shepard alone with her fan.

"Hey, I know that you are probably busy but um … do you have time for a quick autograph?"

Shepard's stomach growled as she took his pad and simply wrote Shepard, "Anything for a fan ... Here."

Conrad looked at her signature, "Thanks. I really appreciate it. My wife is gonna be so impressed. I'll let you get back to work … But next time you are on Earth, I'd love to buy you a drink. Thanks again."

As he walked away, Shepard stood there waiting for the next person ... waiting. And when no one appeared she headed into the eatery. It was small and filled with asari. _Of course_, Shepard frowned. Alenko waved the Commander over as he took off his jacket and as she took a seat he excused himself as he went to the restroom. Williams looked around, counting how many of the asari were looking at the Commander and then said, "A baker's dozen."

"What?" Shepard asked as she got comfortable.

"Your fan club size," Williams smiled. "What is it with you and the asari?"

"There is nothing with me and the asari," Shepard squinted as she rubbed her eyes.

"Well someone forgot to tell them that." Williams asserted as she opened her menu.

"The asari do not like me," Shepard argued, knowing that she was full of shit.

"Uh, huh!" Williams winked as she saw the asari named Lucrenda enter the eatery, "Well then you won't mind inviting … what was her name? Lucrenda?"

Shepard looked up just as Lucrenda saw her and sighed, "I just want to eat."

This made Williams laugh, "Then what's the problem, I think she would accommodate that desire."

Shepard shot Williams a look as Lucrenda reached the table, "Commander Shepard, I heard that you were here."

"You were looking for me?" Shepard asked.

"Would you take a walk with me?" Lucrenda asked, "I need to speak with you in private."

"You can talk to her here," Alenko said from behind her. Those words had come out of his mouth before he realized it and it impressed Williams.

Lucrenda ignored Alenko and continued to look at the Commander, "Please Commander, it is important."

Shepard stood and nodded, "Of course." Williams and Alenko began to grab their jackets, "No, wait here." Shepard instructed them. "I shouldn't be long … will I?"

Lucrenda looked at the Commander and smiled, "That is up to you."

"I won't be long," Shepard said to them and then walked with Lucrenda out of the eatery. Just outside the door, Lucrenda reached out to take Shepard's arm and the Commander moved away, "No."

"So, it's true ... You've never touched one of us, have you?" Lucrenda smiled. "Do we repel you that much, Commander?"

Shepard did not like being rude so she simply replied, "I just … prefer not to."

Lucrenda moved closer to the Commander, "I see … maybe you are afraid of what you might feel if you do."

Shepard looked back at Noodles, "Look … I'm not here for anything funny. You said you wanted to talk to me in private. Talk or I walk."

Lucrenda looked around, "Not here … Follow me, Shepard."

* * *

><p>Udina watched Anderson argue with Hackett and Varus that giving Shepard the Normandy was giving it to the Council, "There are other ships that we can give her access to." After all these years of loyalty, self-sacrifice and hard work he had been given command of the Normandy. He had handpicked the crew, trained them and now they were taking it from him.<p>

"Captain," Hackett cut him off, "Shepard has the weight of humanity on her shoulders … she is going to need the best of everything if she is to succeed. The Ambassador is correct in this … The Normandy will be transferred to the Commander and all the crew aboard."

"Yes, sir." Anderson knew when to step aside. He was not happy about it but there wasn't anything he could do. The higher powers had made the decision and now he had to accept it. As he poured himself a stiff one he listened as the Ambassador listed the items that the Commander would need.

"You will also need to get a financial commitment from the Council," Hackett said, not wanting the Alliance to carry the burden of their SpecTRe. "Let them know that while the Alliance will supply her ship free of charge they will need to pay half the wages of the crew, fuel and any resources she needs."

"For the use of the Normandy I am sure they will agree ... Councilor Valern and Sparatus have left messages for me to contact them," Udina made a mental note to schedule a dinner with the Counselor Tevos. "Do you think they will suspect why we are supplying the ship?"

"They will assume it is to get us closer to a seat on the Council," Senator Varus' voice cut in. "That is partly true, I suppose. But with our team around Shepard, our ship … we can keep her from being corrupted. We will be able to limit her interaction with the other species."

There was a concern that if Shepard was removed from humans, placed amongst the aliens alone, that she might forget where her true allegiance was. Humanity. It was important that they keep her close and away from outside sources. "If that Councilor Tevos gets her hands on Shepard," Varus voiced, "She could confuse her … use her for the asari. The turian and salarian don't worry me ... but the asari ..."

* * *

><p>Shepard looked around the apartment as she sat waiting on Lucrenda to reappear. They had walked about a quarter mile when she led Shepard here. She had poured them both a glass of wine before she excused herself. Shepard had looked at the wine and didn't trust the asari enough to drink it. Besides, she had just a few bites of chicken, dinner roll … the apple had fallen out of her pocket on the way to the hearing and rolled into the lake. Shepard heard a door open and a strange asari entered the living area, "Commander Shepard?"<p>

"Yes," Shepard answered, prepared to pull her pistol.

The asari brought her omni-tool up, waved her hand over Shepard and smiled, "I am Psyria, Councilor Tevos' assistant, please be advised that you are here in the capacity of a SpecTRe. Everything discussed here is confidential … do you understand?"

Shepard looked at the asari, "Yes, I understand."

"Then please, this way." The asari bowed and had her follow to a set of double doors. She opened one of them and motioned for Shepard to enter.

As Shepard moved inside the room there sitting on the bed was the Councilor Tevos. _I am not sleeping with her_, Shepard thought to herself as she moved farther into the room. _I don't care if it means losing SpecTRe status_!

"Welcome, Commander," Tevos greeted. "I am glad that you put your trust where you normally wouldn't."

"Why am I here?" Shepard asked feeling cornered.

"Not for this," Tevos answered running her hand on the bed. "I need you to do something for me as a personal favor."

Shepard watched as the Councilor stood and walked over to her, "That's close enough."

Tevos stopped and looked into Shepard's eyes, "Commander, you do not excite me like you do others of my kind … I know how they look at you, desire you and between us … you are wise to keep a distance. We would only break your heart ... and you ours." Tevos turned away from Shepard and walked over to the aquarium on the wall facing the bed, "I have someone I need brought back to me."

Shepard looked at the Councilor watching the fish and when she turned to look at Shepard, "Why can't you send someone else? I mean, I don't have a ship … do I?"

Tevos gave a half smile, "You are a SpecTRe, Shepard. You will have a ship, resources, power. At this very moment there is a struggle over who can give you more … buy your favors. I am sure that my fellow Councilors have already reached out to offer their services."

"And you aren't part of that?" Shepard cocked a brow.

Tevos mirrored Shepard's look, "Would you believe me if I said I wasn't?"

"No," Shepard shook her head.

"And yet I am here asking for your help," Tevos pointed out, "while the battle is happening 20 minutes from here."

Tevos' assistant entered with a rolling tray of fruits, vegetables and a roasted chicken. There was also a bottle of Jameson whiskey which made Shepard laugh, "They may be 20 minutes away but here you are with me … offering this."

Tevos grabbed two tumblers, dropped ice cubes into each and then poured the whiskey, "This is not to buy you … I have asked for your help and no decision made while hungry is ever sound. So please," Tevos said as she motioned at the food and the drink, "eat, drink … sleep if you need to. If sexual release is required I am sure that I could call Lucrenda back to the apartment."

"She's gone?"

"Her part of this meeting had concluded," Tevos said as she grabbed a piece of fruit? Whatever it was did not come from Earth.

Shepard picked a few pieces off the chicken and then took a drink of the whiskey, "Who is the person that I need to pick up."

"Not need, Commander." Tevos corrected her as she took a sip from her own glass. "You have a mission already; this is only a request that could also assist in your mission."

"I've always heard that the asari take their time," Shepard looked at the food then the bed, "but I'm a human, so I don't need to eat, sleep … who do you want me to pick up?"

"Her name is Dr. Liara T'Soni," Tevos answered, "She is the daughter of Matriarch Benezia."

Shepard put down her drink, "Where is she?"

"Shepard," Tevos saw the coldness fall over the Commander's face, "Liara T'Soni is to be protected not hunted. I need you to locate her, keep her safe and return her to me … unharmed."

"How can you be sure that she is not with Saren?" Shepard asked, moving away from the tray and towards the Councilor.

"My sources tell me that she has not seen the Matriarch in years," Tevos answered. "Please, trust me when I say that she is not involved."

Shepard didn't trust her, but she saw that finding this asari might help her get closer to the matriarch and then Saren. "Where do I find her?"

Tevos looked at the Commander, debating on if she should call Psyria in to use the gift of submission … but she knew that would risk losing who Shepard was. No. "Liara is on a planet called Therum in the Artemis Tau cluster. She is there on a dig site."

"Dig site?"

"Liara is a scientist with an extensive knowledge of the protheans." Tevos explained. "She was there in that capacity, Commander. It is most probable that she does not know what has transpired and I would like that to remain. There would be no need to upset her with the Matriarch's activities."

"Just pick her up and return her to you?" Shepard questioned, wondering what the Councilor was not telling her.

"Yes," Tevos answered. "Your Ambassador will be given this information through an outside source but without the actual planet. Only you will have that … for her safety. Once you are in the cluster then and only then should you give that information to your pilot. Do you understand, Shepard."

Shepard looked at the tray of food not hungry anymore. _A hornet's nest_, she thought as she poured more whiskey in her glass. "I'll find her and return her to you." The more Shepard looked at the bed the more she realized how tired she was. "Now, if you don't mind. I need to get back to my crew." Alenko and Williams had been sending her messages, worried that she had run into foul play. She had finally assured them on her omni-tool that she was okay but she wouldn't believe that until she was away from this place.

"Do not let anything happen to her, Commander." Tevos reiterated.

As Psyria came to the door, Shepard looked at Tevos, "I'll keep her safe."

Just as Shepard was about to leave she looked at the Councilor, "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course," she answered, curious.

"If I die ... who gets my files?"

Tevos was going to love this human, "That would be determined at that time ... not now."

"So ... Nihlus. When?"

Tevos looked deep into Shepard's eyes, "They were transferred to Saren upon notification of Nihlus' death."

"The notification from the Ambassador." _The one that would have also included the charge that he had killed Nihlus?_ Shepard wanted to add but held back.

_Careful, Shepard_, Tevos thought. "Yes."

"And who after reading that ... notification-" Shepard started but was quickly cut off.

"The Council," Tevos picked up her glass and walked closer to Shepard, "Humans have a saying ... Pick and choose your battles wisely?"

Shepard had been trying to read the Councilor but was struggling, so she asked a blunt question. "I need to know who I can trust."

"No one, Shepard." The Councilor responded just as blunt.

Shepard smiled, "Is this from personal experience?"

Tevos knew that she had been a little too honest and moved away from the Commander, "Just be careful, SpecTRe ... everything isn't always as it seems. There are things in the galaxy that even your worst nightmares couldn't come close to."


	24. An Odd Couple & Empty Bubbles

Shepard stood looking out over the Citadel in the upper ward pavilion, the same spot that she had stood with Williams and Alenko just 15 hours prior. So much had happened to her this past week and being alone was a very much needed break for her sanity. Or what was left of it. Well, as alone as one could be in the middle of a busy thoroughfare. She would have never imagined a place like this when she was a little girl ... She would have never imagined any of this. She looked down at the Star of Terra and a small frown crept across her lips.

The Councilor Tevos had given Shepard complete access to Saren's files, or what was left. A great portion had been "wiped" by an inside supporter of the SpecTRe but she would have to make due. It had taken her just over two hours to read what had been salvaged as she ate from the asari tray of good faith. She had messaged Alenko right before to tell him and Williams to return to the Normandy promising to meet them in the AM for breakfast. _The Normandy_, she thought, _well that was a quick post. Now what?_

She had no ship, no crew and no idea where to start hunting Saren. It was in that moment that Shepard felt truly alone and it scared her … really scared her. What if the visions of the massacre were true? What if these reapers really existed? What if she failed? "Mama," Shepard prayed with her head down, "I really need your help. I can't do this alone … please put a word in with your God and tell him I need somebody." Shepard thought of Peter Simon and as she rose her head up she added, "I need a rock ... Someone that I can trust."

"Shepard!" Wrex bellowed as he walked up.

"Wrex?" Shepard turned around to see the krogan causing his own religious experience. Like Moses parted the red sea ... the krogan parted the pedestrians of the ward and he never even seemed to notice as he kept on his walk to her.

"Where are the weaklings?" Wrex asked as he walked up next to her. "Did they go home to suck on their mothers' teets?"

Shepard gave a quick laugh, "They're back on the Normandy where they belong."

"And you?" He asked, "Where do you belong?"

Shepard didn't know so she looked over at the club, "Just leaving Flux or did they kick you out? I hear krogans can be pretty sore losers."

Wrex had actually been winning at quasar but when he heard a customer mention that she had just seen Shepard in the pavilion, he quickly took his winnings and headed towards her. Now as he looked at her … he didn't know why he was there, why he needed to be with her.

"Well?" Shepard looked at him quizzically.

"What?"

"How much did you lose?"

"I still have my armor."

Shepard smiled and turned back to look at the lights, "Hmm, wise move to leave before you lost that."

Wrex, trying to look casual, mimicked her and turned to look at the lights as well. He could see that the warrior was tired, "So, are you going after Saren?"

Shepard rubbed under her right eye, "That's the plan."

"I was thinking I should come along," he stated as he shifted his armor, trying to not look eager.

"You?" Shepard wanted the krogan but she didn't understand why he would want to come along, "You're a bounty hunter, what do you get out of going after Saren? I mean, I can't pay you."

"I'm not in this for the money," he shot back, "I want to be where the action is … There's a storm coming and you and Saren are right in the middle of it."

"Why me?" Shepard pushed, "The files on Saren show that he has krogan on his payroll."

"Those aren't krogan!" Wrex barked. "They're servants! They grovel at Saren's feet to lick his boots! Trading their freedom for promises of wealth and power! My people were a proud species once ... Some of us still remember that. I won't bow down to Saren like the others."

"You know that it's just you and me," Shepard removed her beret, "Two against Saren."

Wrex looked at the human, "Two? Try one and a quarter."

"I'm guessing that you are the quarter?" Shepard asked, causing Wrex to laugh. "Okay, then why even take this quarter? You could go get rid of him while I find a beach somewhere. I'm good with that to be honest ... I hate playing hero."

"You're the all access pass!" He answered, "The SpecTRe card … Do you know the perks that comes with that?"

"Actually?" Shepard put her chest out and then sighed, "No. I have no idea what being a SpecTRe gives me access to ... except being told where to go by the Council."

"You have access to weaponry unavailable to the general public to start," Wrex informed her.

Shepard thought for a minute then said, "Well, I don't know what I will find there ... But I doubt that a krogan is on that list … so … I'd be honored to have you with me in the middle of the storm, Wrex."

"Smart move, Shepard." Wrex relaxed slightly. He had worried that the human would turn him away although he wasn't quite sure why it mattered so much to him. He looked at her as she looked out over the Citadel again and he knew that she needed him. He knew that a heavy burden had been placed on her shoulders and she wasn't running away. She needed him and what he hadn't come to realize yet ... he had needed her.

As they stood together looking out at the lights in silence to the passerby they made an odd couple.

* * *

><p>As Alenko stepped out of the shower in his private head, he heard the Holly Cole Trio playing "I've Just Seen a Face" and moved to his bunk. As he toweled dried himself he wondered if the Commander had returned to the Normandy. He contemplated calling Joker but then he looked at the time and knew that he would be off duty and probably playing N7 Code of Honor: Medal of Duty in his room. Or at least he hoped that was what he was doing ... Joker could get in some trouble if given too much rope.<p>

Now that Shepard was a SpecTRe she would be moving on and he knew that he would probably never see her again. This knowledge made him almost wish that the Council had rejected her candidacy … that and the fact that she would be out there … alone. Without him. As he pulled on his briefs he heard a slight knock on his door. "One minute," he called out as he pulled on a pair of dungarees.

Williams had just checked herself to see if the Commander had returned yet and was told that there had been no sign of her. Williams heard the acoustic music as Alenko opened the door and she caught her breath when she saw his bare chest and arms. She had known that he was muscular but … "LT, you are certainly not a boy!"

Alenko blushed as he picked up the clean folded t-shirt off his bunk and pulled it on, "What is going on?" he asked as his head popped out of the shirt.

"Shepard isn't back yet," Williams said looking around the stateroom. It was how she imagined it ... neat, orderly and semi-sterile. There was a picture of what looked to be Alenko's parents by the ocean on his desk along with an even older photo of a young LT making a face amongst a bunch of other kids taken at BAaT. On his bed was the hardbound book of the Dalai Lama's 'The Art Of Happiness' and on a shelf a bottle of Maxalt-MLT next to his Victorinox Swiss Army cologne ... but what really caught her eye was a picture of Shepard receiving her Star Of Terra on his desk.

Alenko saw the picture and placed his hat on top of it, "I'm sure that she is alright."

"LT," Williams looked at him, "How many times has she been shot at since going ashore?"

Alenko rubbed the back of his neck, causing his bicep to flex. Williams liked her men blond and cowboy but she had to admit that Alenko was very attractive. "She should be okay, Chief. The Commander can handle herself … look at what she did during the Blitz."

"The Blitz," Williams had looked it up while the Commander was unconscious from the beacon and hadn't realized how brutal it had really been. She had wanted to ask the Commander about it when they had time but only after they knew each other better, but now … "I guess the Commander will be moving on, huh?"

Alenko sat down in his chair as Williams sat down on the bed, "Well, she's not Alliance anymore … She's a SpecTRe."

"The Commander will always be Alliance," Williams shook her head. "I don't think she will ever get the blue out of her blood, no matter what they call her."

"Yah," Alenko began to put on a pair of socks, "But she reports to the Council now, the Alliance has no authority over her." Alenko leaned down on his knee, holding a sock, Little River Band starting to play "Lady" on the iMuse.

As the song played, both of them were silent as they listened … Kaidan had his head bowed tapping his bare foot while Ashley had her eyes closed and swaying softly as she hummed slightly off-tune.

Kaidan thought of the woman who had come into his life and how from the moment she looked at him she had held his heart. He felt a lump in his throat as the music continued and she filled his thoughts. Ashley thought of the Commander out there unprotected, thought of what she owed her, how Shepard had made her feel worthy to be fighting by her side and wearing the Alliance uniform, and as tears started to form she shook her head, "Hey LT," she said over the music, "we fought alongside Commander Shepard. The hero of the Blitz and…"

"The first human SpecTRe," he smiled. "Yes, we did Chief."

* * *

><p>The Ambassador Udina had made sure that the quarian had a place to sleep by letting her stay overnight in the apartment that was kept for visiting dignitaries, such as the Senator Varus. He knew that if it came out a quarian had stayed there it could cause him a little trouble … but he would risk it. When he looked at her he saw his people and while he rarely ever risked his political standing this was his type of exception … He had made sure that she was settled in after taking her to dinner at a restaurant in the lower wards … while there the politician in him hoped that they weren't seen together but his gypsy ancestry didn't care … and when the quarian music was played he danced with her. Tali had been surprised that he knew how her people danced the нона ногу and she thought how much more pleasant his face was when he smiled.<p>

Now that he had left her alone in the apartment she began to look around but was afraid to really touch anything. The apartment was decorated in white and light grays … there were vases, a chandelier and glass figurines. It made her nervous and as she went into the master bedroom she was amazed at how big the bed was. But what took her breath was what she found in the master bathroom … a whirlpool bath! She had seen pictures of these. Tali could only image being in it completely naked ... exposed and in the water … "Bubbles!" … she had seen pictures of humans in tubs like this with bubbles. What that must feel like … so there she was. In the empty tub, fully clothed, leaning back, dreaming of being human … no, not just any human … she thought of the Commander … yes, that's who she saw herself as. The Commander Shepard in a bubble bath … drinking one of those bubbly drinks and … a flick of a switch and a dark haired male human, guitar in hand, was chasing a red-headed female around a swimming pool while he claimed that she loved him but she sang back how she loathed him. _Was that human love?_ She thought. As the attractive male chased the female Tali's smile grew wider and with an empty champagne glass in hand, she … no, not her … Commander Shepard sat in a pretend bubble bath watching the movie.

* * *

><p>Garrus thought he would never get through the paperwork of this day with the med clinic, Chora's Den and then the alley … of course this happened after he had been yelled at by the Executor and threatened with suspension. But his day was done and now he was home, half-eaten plate of brokettus in the sink, the Duke on the screen and Garrus looking at his earth lizard, a Savannah Monitor, that had cost him more than a month's pay. He didn't know why he had bought it ... it was a ... what did human's call it? Oh, yes, an impulse buy after he saw a lizard in one of the westerns at the theater.<p>

"Eat Desperado," Garrus told his pet as he dropped crickets into the 40 gallon glass terrarium with the backdrop of the Superstition Mountain on it. Next to the tank was a model of the Alamo that Garrus had made himself. Tired, he looked at his data pad that contained his novel and knew that he would not be touching it tonight … he looked at the Duke and wondered what the Commander Shepard was doing. He had not seen any gunfights in her area … or any fight that fit her type of multiple bodies left behind so he knew that wherever she was on the Presidium … she was safe. He remembered in Chora's Den when they were trying to get to Fist and Shepard slid over a crate, where two of the punks were under cover. She caught one of them between her legs, squeezing his neck between her thigh as she stuck her pistol in his partner. As she pulled the trigger, Expel 10 beat loud as the words, "Did you see the way she ground … as I brought her down?" was sung ... the beat as the words _brought her down_ matched the timing of the blood spray across a table. Without losing a beat herself, Shepard brought the weapon to the mouth of her captive audience between her legs and pulled the trigger just as she pushed away from him. It was a beautiful sight to the C-Sec Officer and he was glad that he had filmed it. She was better than watching the Duke … well, equal. He did love his John Wayne. _Why settle on one anyway_, he asked himself as he had Shepard in his visor and the Duke on the screen.

* * *

><p>Anderson had made his final round as Captain of the Normandy and as he sat at his desk he was thankful that they were docked at least on his place of residence. His gear didn't have far to travel and tomorrow he would be sleeping in his own bed. He also knew that he had been grounded … no other ship would be forthcoming and Admiral Hackett had hinted at him being assigned on the Citadel to assist the Ambassador. With Shepard being promoted to SpecTRe, the Ambassador would need an on-site Alliance representative. Hell, truth was he had just been put out to pasture. Plain and simple. That fact had left a bitter taste in his mouth and he knew after the official announcement was made in the AM Shepard would be in his place. This would be her space as he retook his place at Chora's Den.<p>

He brought out his stash of Aberfeldy 21 as he thought of what his life might have been if he had been the first. If Saren hadn't stolen … "Damn you Saren!" he roared as he slammed the bottle down on his desk.

He heard knocking on his door and then Navigator Pressly call out, "Captain? Are you okay?"

Anderson slid the bottle out of view, went to the door, "I'm okay, Charlie."

As he shut the door he turned on George Howard's "Only Human", poured himself a glass and raised it, "To you Commander Shepard! May you succeed where I failed." She had already succeeded in having Saren stripped of his status … this made him smile.


	25. A Krogan Breakfast

Paul McCartney broke through the quiet of the room as he told the listener that with a little luck they could make it through thanks to Shepard's omni-tool alarm setting. Shepard having woke up ... let the song pull her back in time to when her father would wake her up as he sang that song.

He loved to sing silly songs as he tickled and kissed her, making her scream out in giggles as she begged him to go away. Her mother would laugh as she came to the door, "Pierce! She has to get up for school ... Stop tormenting her!"

Pierce would look at Shepard, grinning, "Tormenting? Let's show the preacher woman torment, Eli!"

They would both look at Hannah who would start to back away, "Not this morning! I have an appointment and you two have ..." Pierce would pull Shepard out of the bed and carrying her under his arm would chase Hannah through the house, lightly tackling her on the area rug in the living room. It was what her dad called the kissing pile and it always made all three laugh even as Hannah feigned disapproval. "Pierce stop this at once! We all have places to be."

"But we're where we should be, mommy!" Shepard had once said, stealing her dad's line. As the two older Shepards looked at their 8-year-old, she looked at her dad, "Together ... right daddy?" This had made her parents laugh and her dad cry just a little.

Shepard remembering how he had wiped a tear away, her mother kissing him on his cheek, laughed, "You were such a wuss, pop. No wonder mom loved you."

Now the song ended, the room quiet and the memory faded, she slowly moved to get up but fell back on the bed and placed her arm over her eyes as a moan escaped from her lips. Her muscles were aching from the prior day's activities and she could tell that she had pulled a muscle in her back. It must have been when she slid over the top of the crate and caught one of Fist's men in her legs. "You had to go all fancy," Shepard cursed herself. Like an athlete after a big game she was hurting … It was then that she heard movement coming from the kitchen and so she slowly got up and headed towards the noise, rubbing her back as she went.

Emily Wong was making coffee after arriving home with the Commander's dry cleaned uniform, "Good morning, Commander. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you. I really appreciate the use of your place." Shepard had run into the investigative reporter while on the pavilion with Wrex. The reporter had asked if Shepard would give her an interview regarding the events around Chora Den and its deceased owner. Shepard had liked the inquisitive and well-read reporter, eventually sharing both information and drinks at Flux as Wrex returned to his quasar. After the interview was completed, Emily asked Shepard what her immediate plans were.

"Off the record?" Shepard asked, as the sound of Flesh 9's "Blue Whispers" brought more asari to the dance floor.

"Of course," she answered, turning off her recorder.

"I would like to disappear for at least one night," Shepard knew that was not what the reporter expected but her answer made Emily smile.

"Oh, is that all?" Emily almost squealed. "I have a place in the Bachjret Ward … it's not fancy but it is off the grid."

Shepard was tempted but she didn't want to put the reporter out. "Thank you, but …"

"No buts," Emily shook her head. "I have somewhere else to sleep tonight anyways." Shepard saw her look over at an asari chatting with friends at the bar.

"You're seeing an asari?" Shepard asked.

"You sound a little disturbed by that," Emily frowned.

"Disturbed? No … Just surprised."

"Of course," Emily looked over at her lover, "So were my parents … surprised like you."

Shepard heard Wrex growl and wanting to change the subject, "I think someone just lost at quasar."

Emily had shown Shepard to her apartment, with Wrex demanding to come along as security. As they entered the apartment Emily asked if Shepard wanted her uniform dry cleaned overnight as well. Shepard asked her if she knew an all night cleaner … "My parents run a cleaner here on the Citadel … and please, no jokes."

"There are dry cleaner jokes?" Shepard asked as she was unaware of old stereotypes as a result of being born and raised off-world.

Emily had laughed at Shepard's display of innocence and promised to have her suit back to her before 08:00. Both Emily and Wrex had left Shepard to a much needed shower and sleep.

Now as Shepard stood in the kitchen wearing nothing but silk ivory-colored night shirt and underwear, Emily poured each of them a cup of coffee as they made small talk. Emily commented on how the shirt really fit Shepard. Shepard thanked her again for the use of her apartment. Emily asked if she slept well. Shepard asked for ibuprofen. What Emily didn't mention was that on her way in she saw Wrex still standing in front of the apartment. Krogans made her nervous and so she was careful as she passed by him, with neither speaking as she passed by with the bag of groceries and uniform.

"I'm glad that I could be of assistance," she answered, almost embarrassed. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate the intel on Fist."

Shepard was about to excuse herself when the sound of something slamming against the front door made both jump. Shepard told Emily to get down as she ran back to the bedroom for her pistol. Another loud bang was heard out in the hallway just as Shepard was back in the front room. Shepard moved to the side of door and listened … silence. Shepard checked to make sure that Emily was out of view and then she opened the door and straightaway saw two dead turians. Then she saw a krogan go flying by followed shortly by Wrex. By the time she made it out of the apartment Wrex had killed the krogan but not before it had taken a chunk out of his left arm.

"Wrex?" Shepard was standing in the hallway with her pistol aimed at the dead krogan.

"Shepard." He answered as he began to look for valuables.

"Please don't!" Shepard hated seeing him do that … looking like a thief. "That's beneath you!"

Wrex looked at her, "We will need credits to get around, Shepard."

"Leave that up to me," she said a little agitated as she went over to him.

Wrex looked at the money in his hand, growled and tossed it against the wall. It was then that she saw Wrex's injured arm and as she went to check out how bad his wound was he pulled away from her.

"Wrex, that looks bad." Shepard told him as she went to look at it again.

Wrex growled louder, pulling his arm away, "It will heal, human!"

His anger made her step back but it also angered her, "Or fall off, krogan!"

Wrex looked at her amazed ... any other person would have moved across the room when he growled out but not her. _Just like that pup_, he thought.

She then turned to Emily who was taking vids of the turians, "Call C-Sec and ask for Garrus Vakarian. Let him and only him know what we have here."

"Yes, Shepard."

Shepard then looked back at Wrex, "Were you here all night?"

Wrex looked at Shepard in silence. She thought his silence was due to him being angry at her ... but he was silent because to tell her that he had not left her … had stayed to protect her … it showed he was weak. Needing to protect her. A human. He was also silent because she had shamed him … He had realized when she had stopped him from taking coins how he had lost sight of who he was … going through the pockets of the dead? He was a battlemaster … not some foot soldier. And Shepard had called him on it.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Captain Anderson." Udina's secretary greeted him as she took his jacket and showed him to the terrace where Udina was standing looking out over the lake.<p>

"Captain," Udina greeted without emotion. "Where is the Commander?"

"I message has been left for her to come here as soon as possible." Anderson answered as he watched the Ambassador's assistant hurry in the office.

The Ambassador hated to see people hurrying to him as it was never good news, "Yes, yes, what is it?"

Antun, out of breath answered, "A source … just let me … in on a se-cret that … the asari were keep-ing."

"Secret?" Udina scowled. "What secret?"

"The Mat-riarch on … the recor-ding," he said, bending over as he tried to catch his breath… "One ... second ... breath ..."

Udina, impatient, waved over his secretary, "Get Antun water."

Once the assistant had caught his breath he started again, "It appears that the Matriarch Benezia has a child … a daughter."

"A daughter?" Udina scowled, "Of course she would have a daughter. She is an asari."

Antun looked at him confused and then realized what the Councilor meant, "Oh, yes … of course. Well, this daughter … a Dr. Liara T'Soni is a prothean expert. The asari Councilor has hired someone to retrieve her from the Artemis Tau cluster."

"She must think that this Dr. T'Soni can lead her to the Matriarch," Anderson said. "We must get to her first."

"Who did the Councilor hire?" Udina asked, as he headed for the conference area.

"My source didn't know," Antun answered, as he and Anderson quickly followed the Ambassador.

"Where in the Artemis Tau cluster is the Doctor located?" Udina asked, as he made his galaxy map appear over his conference table.

"He didn't know that either." The assistant answered.

"We will need to send Shepard on this," Anderson said. "We can use this asari to locate the Matriarch … who then could lead us to Saren."

"Yes," Udina agreed. "If the Councilor thinks she can protect one of her own ... Shepard with the Normandy can get in quick before her hire can get halfway there."

"But we can't tell Shepard that the Councilor has sent someone else," Anderson hated saying it but he knew that as a SpecTRe she was under the Council's authority, not theirs. If she knew that the Councilor was sending someone else then as a SpecTRe she would be obligated to inform the Councilor first.

* * *

><p>"So this is what SpecTRes have for breakfast," Garrus quipped.<p>

Shepard gave him a small push, "Not me … it must be what krogans have for breakfast."

Garrus looked over at Wrex who was down the hallway, silent and staring at Shepard, "You know, he looks angry … uh, not that he ever looks … well … not angry."

"I think I upset him earlier," Shepard frowned, knowing that the krogan was out of ear range ... or hoped he was.

"So the … what is that human saying? The honeymoon is over?" Garrus said which made Shepard start laughing.

She looked over at Wrex as she continued to laugh, thinking how her childhood friend … her best friend, Ricky, would have died of laughter himself at Garrus' remark. "And here I didn't get to wear the dress or have cake!"

"It looks like Saren wants to stop you from finding him," Garrus remarked as the dead krogan was carried past them.

"It would appear so," Shepard agreed. "But without a ship he has nothing to worry about."

"Won't the Council supply one?" Garrus could not believe that there had been no word yet, "I mean … they did give you the mission to catch him."

"I think things are about to change," Shepard confided. "I received word shortly before you arrived that the Ambassador Udina is requesting my presence at his office … and I also need to report to the SpecTRe main office for paperwork or something."

"I can take you to the agency," Garrus offered. "But I can't go in with you … it's off-limits to everyone but SpecTRes."

"Really?"

"Really," Garrus mimicked. "But You wouldn't be willing to take some vids while you are in there for me?"

Shepard arched a brow as she looked at Garrus, "Look, I already have a krogan mad at me … I don't need the agency pissed as well."

"What?" Garrus looked over at Wrex still looking at Shepard. "Are you going to be alright? Maybe I should-"

"No," Shepard smiled. "He'll be fine."

"I'm not worried about him, Shepard."

"I'll be fine as well." Shepard turned and walked over to the krogan.

As Garrus watched, Shepard stood in front of the krogan. They seemed to be staring each other down and then the krogan shifted his armor … As he moved to his left, so did Shepard. Words were exchanged but they were too far down the hallway for Garrus to hear and then Wrex laughed. This was a deep and loud sound that he could hear and it made him jump slightly.

As Shepard returned, Garrus asked what she had said … Shepard looked back at the krogan now using his omni-tool, "That if he didn't stop being so angry that I'd replace him with someone more in control ... a turian."

Garrus looked over at the krogan with a turian scowl, "And how is that funny?"

"Krogan humor," Shepard teased.

"Uh, right."

* * *

><p>As Shepard stood just outside of the Ambassador's door, she rubbed her left upper arm where the salarian had drawn blood at the agency. She had lost two hours there as they gave her a physical, had her fill out forms and then discussed how the pay structure was … But all of this got her mind off her pulled muscle. Wrex had left her to get his personal items and some rest, Shepard suspected, while she went to the agency and then to the embassy. She was to call him when she had any updates.<p>

The assistant, Antun, saw Shepard just outside the door on his security monitor and went to greet her. He escorted her over to the conference area where Udina and Anderson were seated and looking at the galaxy map, "Ambassador, Commander Shepard is here."

The two men looked up, "I've got big news for you Shepard!" Captain Anderson smiled at Shepard as Udina went on, "Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy … The ship is yours now."

Anderson stood up from his seat, "She's quick and quiet and you know the crew."

The thought of the Normandy being under her command was more than she could have hoped for … but she couldn't see any Captain giving her up gladly, "Captain?"

Anderson pulled out two cigars from his pocket and handed one to Shepard, "Shepard, it's a perfect ship for a SpecTRe."

Shepard looked at the cigar, "But the Normandy is yours, Captain."

"No, Shepard." Anderson corrected. "She belongs to you … she will help you bring down Saren. Treat her well, Commander."

Shepard handed him the cigar back, "Captain, this isn't right … The Normandy belongs to you."

Anderson put his hand on Shepard's shoulder, "Listen … you need your own ship."

_At this very moment there is a struggle over who can give you more … buy your favors_. The words of Councilor Tevos went through her mind. Was this part of it? Why would the Alliance give her the Normandy? She looked at Anderson and shook her head no … "Sorry but I can't accept the ship."

Udina couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Shepard, I assure you that not only do I and the Captain see this as important to your current mission but also the Council."

"The Council?" Shepard looked unconvinced.

Anderson could see that Shepard was not convinced, "A SpecTRe can't answer to anyone but the Council ... so they had to approve this arrangement."

"Shepard," Udina sounded frustrated, "Now is not the time to question us. There are geth moving outside the veil!"

"Shepard, it's time for me to step down." Anderson softly said, as he brought the conversation back around to what having the Normandy under her control meant. "You need every advantage possible going against Saren. Don't turn this down."

Shepard moved away from the two men and walked out onto the balcony to look out over the lake. He was right; she needed the Normandy … the crew. She turned to look at Anderson, "And the crew? Were they given a choice?"

"They will do as directed," Udina answered.

"No," Shepard continued to look at Anderson. "They must be given a choice in this. I cannot have people on my crew who do not want to be there … they swore an oath to the Alliance not to the SpecTRes."

"Fair enough," Anderson answered, "You and I will offer them a chance to be reassigned when we are finished here."

"Sorry, Captain," Shepard said, "this needs to be asked without me there."

Anderson understood. To have the hero of the Blitz standing in front of you while that question is being asked … who could honestly walk away from her. "I'll have the commanding officer of each area put that question forward … without prejudice."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now Shepard," Udina said as Anderson put on his jacket, "You'll need to report to the office of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch but be-"

"I've already been there," Shepard answered, rubbing her arm. "I don't recommend the XJ5K cocktail. Has there been any new information on Saren?"

Anderson shook his head, "Saren's gone … don't even try to find him. But we know what he is after ... The conduit. He's got his geth scouring the traverse looking for clues."

Shepard knew that there was something personal between Anderson and Saren, but she had to stay focused on what she knew was the real threat … or at least what she thought the visions showed her, "The reapers are the real threat, not Saren."

Udina moved closer to Shepard, "I'm with the Council on this one Shepard … I'm not sure they even exist."

"But if they do exist … The Conduits the key to bringing them back," Anderson instructed. "Stop Saren from getting the conduit and we stop the reapers from returning."

"Shepard, there is one lead that you might want to consider," Udina offered.

Shepard caught a slight tremble in his voice and knew that this was important to him, "A lead?"

Udina moved just a little closer, "Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on that recording, she has a daughter."

Shepard smiled just slightly, _Tevos you manipulating vixen_, "A daughter you say?"

Udina smiled as he thought Shepard's smile was in response to the information, "Yes. A scientist who specializes in the protheans … We don't know if she's involved but it might be a good idea to try and find her ... See what she knows."

"I see," Shepard knew that the Ambassador was trying to manipulate her, "And once I find her? After I get whatever information she does have ... What then?"

"If she is with her mother," Anderson answered, "she must be stopped."

"But if she is not involved," Udina quickly added. "Bring her to me. No one else."

Shepard didn't like how everyone seemed to want this asari but she had a role to play. So she continued to pretend ignorance and asked, "And what is her name?"

Udina smiled, "Her name's Liara … Dr. Liara T'Soni. We have reports that she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemus Tao Cluster."

At the mention of the asari's name, Shepard felt her anger start to rise. She had heard the Councilor say her name, but coming from Udina it struck a chord. If this asari was not involved then she was now being used by others to get to her mother. Shepard calmed her anger and continued, "So you would like me to find and bring this asari … Dr. Liara T'Soni back to you?"

Anderson, seeing Shepard's eyes grow a little darker, gently reminded, "It's your decision, Commander. You're a SpecTRe now … you don't answer to us."

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole," Udina reminded. "You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up."

Shepard knew that the Ambassador was trying to look out for their kind and in just the short time that she had been on the Citadel she saw that there were manipulations, lies and danger there. She saw a man in over his head, struggling to stay afloat. "I'll try and not make anything harder on you, Ambassador."

Udina seemed to relax, "Glad to hear it, Commander. Remember, you were a human long before you were a SpecTRe."

"Understood, Ambassador." Shepard said as she started for the door.

"Oh, Commander!" Udina stopped her. "There is one more thing."

"Yes, Ambassador?" Shepard sighed.

"That quarian," he started carefully.

"Tali zor … zip … ee-di-do-da?" She playfully asked.

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Udina corrected, as Anderson covered his mouth to hide his grin. "I want you to take her with you."

"Isn't she on her pilgrimage?" Shepard was confused as to why the Ambassador would want the quarian on the Normandy.

"She needs protection," Udina responded honestly, "With Saren out there … he might send others to kill her as a warning."

"A warning to others who might betray him," Shepard said to show she understood. "Well, with her ability to overtake and mine information from a geth on her own … If she wants to assist us in the hunt for him … have her report to the Normandy. I could use someone like her."

"Where are you going to?" Anderson asked.

"I'm having a very late breakfast with friends," Shepard answered. "I'll be at the Normandy within the hour, sir."

Anderson understood ... he would need to have her crew ready. To have the ones not willing to follow her, a SpecTRe, out into the traverse removed and reassigned to an Alliance ship. He didn't foresee too many leaving. She was, after all, a hero and they would be fighting alongside her. Anderson wished that he could go along as well, be there to ... no. He knew that this was for the best. This hunt was Shepard's.


	26. Change of Ceremony

Time was limited but Anderson would not let Shepard take command without the change of ceremony, "I will not leave the Normandy quietly," he had needled her. So here they were ... they had jointly inspected the Normandy, and then Anderson had called all hands to Quarters. The garage and storage area of the Normandy was large enough to hold the Officers and crew so it was temporarily called coined the _fantail_ just for the ceremony. The Alliance personnel had arrived in their dress whites or blues and Anderson had made sure that the Alliance press was there.

"I still can't believe you are putting us through this ceremony," Shepard said as she entered the Captain's stateroom.

Anderson looked at the Commander in her dress whites and smiled, "Well, not the whole ceremony … but this is where we show the crew, our Officers, the ship and each other respect."

"Yes sir," Shepard smiled back. "But can we not do any speeches?"

Anderson laughed as he pulled a flask out of his bag, "Sorry, Commander. Speeches are the highlight … but a little liquid courage is approved just this once."

Once the crew was assembled, Pressly as XO announced that all hands were called to Quarters and the change of ceremony was underway. The two were silent as the elevator took them down to the ceremony and as the elevator stopped and the door lifted, Shepard felt herself start to choke as she saw the men and women stand to attention and salute. These were the men and women who had elected to stay and follow her into the unknown. There had only been a handful of individuals who had requested reassignment and Shepard had understood. Whoever stayed was no longer reporting to the Alliance but reporting to her and as such the Council.

As they took the makeshift stage, Anderson went to the podium and gave a very brief speech. He had thanked his crew, encouraged them to stay strong as they looked into the face of their enemy, to continue their level of performance excellence and then looked at Shepard … "A Queen of my country once said, _I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm_. Commander Shepard … these words could have been uttered by you. You not only share that Queen's name but also her strength, her certitude and the determination to bring the enemy to its knees for her people … you too would have left the safety of the palace and with great risk to your person would have rode into the thick of the battle. And as I would have kneeled before her and sworn my oath … I am even more honored to hand you a ship filled with proud men and women of bravery unbound."

Anderson saluted Shepard, who returned it, and then he faced forward and read the orders of detachment to the Officers and crew. As he read, Shepard looked out on the faces again. She saw Wrex and Tali standing close to the Mako and knew that she would need to ensure that they were included and not felt as outcasts. Captain Anderson then as the retiring officer stepped back and Shepard as the new commanding officer stepped forward, read her orders to command. It was not traditional at that time for her to give a speech but Anderson had insisted, "these are not normal days" and now looking out at them she agreed. They … the Officers and crew … were more than deserving of her words of gratitude and what mission they had stayed on for.

As Shepard stood before them, the room was silent. "Today ... I stand before you humbled yet proud. Humbled by your courage to stand with me and proud to stand next to each and every one of you." She looked down at her Star Of Terra, "Some of you may have stayed because of my role during the Skyllian Blitz ... the songs, the stories, the romance of it all ... but understand that no one was singing during those dark days. No one was thinking how they would be remembered or what stories would be told. We just knew that we were the only thing between life and death for the people on Elysium. Without us they would have perished ... or worse. So we looked out for one another, knew what our roles were and in all things were diligent ... But most of all we showed no mercy to the enemy. None."

Shepard could see that each individual was hearing every word, "But I am asking more of you then those on Elysium ... We knew where the enemy was ... who the enemy was. That was a luxury that we do not have now. We are hunting a former SpecTRe who has many allies ... not just the geth. As we move forward, I will need each and every one of you to be alert, careful and prepared. You will need to remember that you are the offspring of men and women who through self-sacrifice, blood and even in fear crossed over unknown waters ... conquered new lands ... and eventually touched the stars. Our ancestors showed us that we as a people are to be reckoned with."

"I need you to remember this because we are not just fighting for a town, a planet, a cluster ... we are fighting for the galaxy." Shepard looked over at Wrex and Tali, "And part of the offspring of other races in the galaxy have joined us, put their lives at risk to seek out and destroy our enemy. These two are our allies and as such I bow my head in gratitude." Shepard gave a bow of her head towards them and then turned back to the mass.

Now was the time to prepare them for battle, "Truth be told, I pity Saren ... pity him because he might have succeeded but for one fatal mistake ... he spilled human blood. Our blood. Now we will show him and any others in the galaxy that would raise a hand against us, against our citizens, against our children, how swift and unmerciful we can be. And yes, they will write songs about you, they will tell stories about your heroism and sacrifice ... but my hope is not that you die for humanity but that our enemies do. Now, make me proud, make you proud ... make our people proud."

Shepard then came about face as her crew cheered, saluted Captain Anderson and said over the roar, "I relieve you sir."

"Yes you do, Commander." Anderson smiled.

* * *

><p>It had been 36 hours since they had left the Citadel and the lights were dimmed on the bridge as Joker, Helen Lowe and two other crewmen went about their duties. Joker looked over at Helen who was ensuring no surprise visitors showed up unannounced. "Slowe!"<p>

Helen looked over at him, "What Morose?"

"Did you get in on the pool?"

"What pool?" Shepard asked as she entered the bridge.

"Uh ... pool?" Joker looked at Helen.

Shepard, coffee in hand, looked at Helen.

"There's a pool on how long it takes to capture Saren," Helen answered, as Shepard sat in the seat to Joker's right.

"Hmmm," Shepard looked out at the stars, blowing on her coffee.

"Your beautiful ... it's beautiful ... it's ..." Joker shook his head.

"It is beautiful," Shepard smiled at him and then turned back to the stars. "It makes me think of the first astronauts ... the Mercury Seven. What they wouldn't have given to live in this day and age."

"The Mercury Seven ..." Helen said, "Let's see ... that was Cooper, Slayten, Glenn ...crap."

Joker laughed, "No ... no, Slowe ... no Crap in that team ... you said Cooper, Slayten, Glenn?"

"Yes," she answered. "What? You can name all of them?"

"Stand back," Joker said as he re-adjusted his cap, "Cooper, Slayten, Glenn ... then there was Grissom, Carpenter, Schirra and ... uh ... uh ..."

Now it was Shepard's turn to laugh, "... and Shepard ... and before you ask, not that I know of."

"I know that," Joker said. "I was just about to say Shepard."

"Uh huh," Helen said as she rolled her eyes. She then looked at the Commander, "You have to be related."

"I could be but my dad or grandpa never mentioned it," Shepard answered, as she looked out at the stars again.

"So what happens after you capture Saren?" Joker asked.

Shepard continued looking out, "I'll use the Normandy for one more mission and then I'm sure the Alliance will find a reason to take it back."

"Then we get a new ship," Helen said.

"No one is taking this baby from me," Joker vowed as he took his hat off, "The Normandy and I will be at your service until you retire ... uh, do SpecTRes retire?"

"What is that mission?" Kaidan asked as he took a seat behind Shepard.

Shepard spun the chair around to face him, "I have a promise to keep."

"A promise?" he asked, as he sat forward.

Shepard loved his dark eyes and the way he smelled of soap and citrus. Now sitting here with the soft dim light she was even more tempted to seduce him ... _No, Shepard. Never mix business with pleasure._ "Yes, a promise."

"Mind sharing?" he tilted his head just slightly and gave a small smile.

Shepard thought of Ricky and their last moment together as he promised her that they would survive the attack on Mindoir and _dance the watusi together … naked_, "There is a boy ... no, a man ... a man of almost thirty now. He promised me a dance and I'm keeping him to it."

Everyone on the bridge looked at each other as Shepard smiled to herself. "I'm sure that there are plenty of other guys that would gladly take his place," Kaidan offered.

Joker gave a glare, Helen and the other two crewmen pretended to go back to their duties while Shepard shook her head, "No, he won't get off that easy ... he made a promise and so did I. But for now I have a turian to find and that is what I need to focus on."

"We'll find him!" Joker almost yelled. He didn't like the vibes he was feeling between the Commander and the Lieutenant. "Don't you worry, with me and the Normandy it's pretty much a done deal."

"Just make sure it is in the third week of our hunt," Helen demanded as she adjusted her readings.

"You took week three?" Joker scoffed, "Pfft! It's going to be week eight."

Shepard got up, "Well, I think I'll call it a day. Good night, everyone. I'll see you in the AM."

"Goodnight, Commander," Kaidan said, quickly followed by everyone else on the bridge.

"I'm worried about the Commander," Joker said once she was gone. "I mean, look at Captain Anderson. Survives a hundred battles, and then gets taken down by backroom politics. Things go bad on this mission and she will be next on their chopping block."

"So we make sure that nothing goes wrong," Helen told him as she re-adjusted her ear piece and popped a lemon drop in her mouth.

Kaidan moved into the seat that Shepard had just been in and he placed his left hand where hers had been. It was no use fighting it ... he was falling for her. "She's beautiful, and therefore to be wooed; She is a woman, therefore to be won."

"What the …?" Joker looked over at him.

Kaidan, realizing that he had said it out loud, blushed and tried to recover by saying, "Henry VI by Shakespeare ... I-I just saw it recently."

"No," Helen snorted, "You just saw Woman by Shepard."

* * *

><p>Wrex preferred a place near the armory and away from the humans. So Shepard had made sure that an area was set up for him to sleep, along with a chair and table for him to have a private place to eat. She had told him that if he needed anything to give her a call and that he was free to roam the ship. "I'm fine here," he had answered. He didn't like being around all these humans and he knew that every move he made was watched. If he came into an area it seemed to clear pretty quick and when he went to shower the men could not get out of there fast enough. It was like cockroaches scurrying from the light.<p>

Shepard had spent about an hour with him after they were away from the Citadel but she had many responsibilities onboard and so he was left to stare at her requisition officer or go into the gym and walk the track. Walking kept his body busy and he thought about something he had overheard Shepard say to one of her crew ... _you will be able to sit with a grandkid on your knee and tell that child when you helped save the galaxy_. It was not likely that he would ever have offsprings ... damn turians! He would never go back to Tuchanka where his people were weak, hopeless and dying. Maybe with Shepard he could die a glorious death in battle. After all, he was tired and had seen too much. He even had the blood of his own father on his hands ... _How many have had to kill their own father_, he had asked himself.

* * *

><p>Tali had uploaded the bio of Shepard and after turning down the bed got in and began to read it. She was enjoying having a room all to herself on the Normandy. Kaidan had given her the use of the Commander's original stateroom saying, "It isn't assigned to anyone so why don't you use it."<p>

The words, _now we will show him and any others in the galaxy that would raise a hand against us, against our citizens, against our children, how swift and unmerciful we can be,_ made her think of her people. They had been abandoned by the Council after the geth uprising and she wished that her people had fought harder, reclaimed their home world ... shown the galaxy that they were to be ... _oh, how did Shepard put it?_ She thought to herself. "Oh, yes, _our ancestors showed us that we as a people are to be reckoned with_. Reckoned. I like that word."

Tali had not spent time around humans but she liked them. She found Chief Engineer Adams to be friendly and willing to show her around the engine room, Lieutenant Alenko was very attentive to her special needs and there were others in the crew that seemed really interested in her people. But she saw distrust too. She knew the reputation that her people had and she had heard a few crewmen warning others to watch their stuff around her. One had even called her a "sewer rat" but she didn't want to start any trouble so she ignored it.

She didn't want Shepard to think that she was a negative influence on the crew. She wanted Shepard to like her because she found the Commander amazing. Everyone seemed to respect her and when she came into a room it seemed to stop. She reminded Tali of her own father, Admiral _Rael_'Zorah, with her strength and quick mind … but there was more. She had seen Shepard with Wrex and Garrus and the human had a way of connecting with not only her kind but others. She felt it as well. Shepard would look at you as if you mattered … as if you were important. She listened.

* * *

><p>Shepard had stripped down to her underwear and thrown on an oversized Mindoir Tigers t-shirt. All the lights were off in her quarters except for a small light near the entrance door and the light over her desk. She had taken two ibuprofen, put on Rosemary Clooney's <em>Fools Rush In<em> and then climbed into bed. As she closed her eyes she remembered when she was ten and her mother had put this song on in their home, "Elizabeth, come here!" Hannah had held out her hands.

Shepard had raced to her and Hannah began to dance with the child as she sang the song. The song spoke of romance, love and angels. "What does _heart above my head_ mean, mama?"

"That's what love does to you," Hannah had answered, as she twirled Shepard. "It makes you act emotionally instead of logically."

"Huh?"

"It makes you do things that you want to do here," Hannah put her finger over Shepard's heart, "Instead of here," she tapped her on the temple.

"That's silly!" Shepard laughed as Hannah dipped her.

"Yes it is," Hannah agreed. "But love … doux amour ... makes you silly!"

"Well you can keep it!" Shepard proclaimed, "I'm going to keep my brains!"

Hannah had laughed and as she hugged Shepard close to her said in French, "I'm afraid that love is not a choice, my Whisper. Once it finds you ... goodbye brains."

"Nope, I'm keeping my brains!" Shepard insisted.

"Even if it means being with someone like your daddy?" Hannah raised a brow.

"Nope!" Shepard puffed up her chest. "I have daddy ... so I can keep my brains!"

As Shepard laid in bed she chuckled as she remembered how her mother had laughed so hard at that and laughed again when she told Pierce later that evening. "Elizabeth is just too smart, husband!"

Her dad had looked across the dinner table at her, raised his fork with meatloaf on it and winked, "You tell your mother ... you have me! You don't need another man. No boys!"

"Pierce!" Hannah had slapped his hand, "Don't tell her that."

Shepard had winked back at her dad and made an OK sign, which resulted in Hannah Shepard scolding her playfully in French. Pierce had then imitated Pepe Le Pew and chased her mother from the kitchen leaving Shepard to steal the green beans off his plate.

"Momma, you made the best plate of green beans," Shepard mumbled as she turned on her side and re-shaped her pillow to get comfortable. They would be in the Artemis Tau cluster soon and then she could tell Joker to head for Therum. Her iMuse began playing Akdhat's "EtZev"and as she closed her eyes she whispered, "I'll keep my brains."


	27. A Therum Roadtrip

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

_I had feedback from readers that the jump from the Citadel to Therum was a little jarring so I listened and have added a chapter that shows Shepard taking command of the Normandy and getting settled in. Now back to working on Shepard & Liara meeting. PMC -4/28/2012-_

* * *

><p>It had been over an hour and a half since Shepard and her team had landed just outside Nova Yekaterinburg, population 34,000, and now as they drove through it the place was for all intent and purposes a ghost town. Well, if you didn't count the pocket of geth they had encountered. They already had four skirmishes under their pit stop belts but they were glad, with the exception of Wrex, that the Mako's cannon and machine gun were enough to keep them moving.<p>

The mineral rich Therum was home to various mining companies like Eldfell-Ashland Energy as well as archeological teams due to the prothean ruins scattered about. These two groups were at odds, sometimes violent odds, when the mining companies looted or stripped the ruins. But then everything calmed down for half a year as the habitants left to avoid the extreme heat. During these "red months" the planet was deserted except for a few rag tag teams left for maintenance and upkeep purposes.

The Mako jerked as Corporal Marcus Greico maneuvered it around a rock which required him to move up the side of a hill. "Shit terrain!" Greico grumbled. "Sorry, Commander."

"Just get us to the site in once piece, Corporal." Shepard ordered, followed by others seconding that.

"Puta madre!" Corporal Monica Negelesco, the gunner, yelled out as her loader, Serviceman Alcot Satake, began laughing like a girl. This made the rest of the occupants laugh … well, everyone except Wrex and Shepard. Each seemed to be off in their own worlds, removed from the others.

Wrex thought of his old clan, the fate of his people and looked at Shepard. She had been to hell and back but here she was ... fighting for her people. She had not given up hope. She had not walked away.

Shepard was thinking about the objective … retrieve the asari. The area that the doctor had been assigned to was deserted except for her and this fascinated the Commander. She knew that this was not standard practice to leave someone alone and it showed Shepard how stubborn and independent this asari must be … and brave. Or corrupt. She wasn't sure which. As the Mako crawled through another empty mining camp, Shepard was struggling on what to do with the asari once they had her. She had not told her team that the asari they were searching for was the daughter of the Matriarch. She had withheld the information because she worried that if they knew, she might be shot if she made any questionable moves. She still worried that she might be shot because of what she was and that was a bitter truth.

As the Mako rattled on, Shepard pulled out her prothean "worry rock" and as she rubbed her thumb on it she put her head down. She was not blind to her own distrust of the asari and as she looked up at her rifle she prayed that she was wise in how she responded to the doctor. A part of her thought it would make everything simple if she just put the doctor down, quick and easy. This way she did not risk trusting an enemy or having to decide where to take her once she had questioned her. These were excuses to cover her fear that she would do something wrong out of disdain. She put the prothean piece back into her pocket and looked over at Wrex. God, please keep me merciful, she prayed silently. She had enough innocent blood on her hands ... she didn't want more added this day.

* * *

><p>She didn't understand how she had survived all these weeks in the bubble. She should have been dead and her body felt as if it was just hanging on. But she was no longer hungry or thirsty and for the past few days she had seen things that made her question her sanity. Once she could have sworn that she saw her cousin Sibila off in the distance laughing at her … "Go on and laugh," she had yelled. "I don't care! And when I tell you what a horrid person you were in this cavern … Oh, Goddess! Please let me live to tell you. Let me live to tell you what I did so you can laugh at me. So we can laugh together." Now she knew that she was delirious. Liara T'Soni was by nature sober … humor and pranks could catch her off-guard and offend more than entertain her. It had been days since she had seen the krogan but every now and then a geth would pass by. Geth!<p>

To pass the time and keep her mind off her hopeless situation, she recited favorite passages of her mother's works, sang some of her favorite opera pieces that the soprano Shablu had performed, hum her favorite Akdhat pieces and had even once impersonated her favorite bird called Terotisis. She had also screamed out of frustration, cried out of fear and begged Athame for deliverance.

But she also spent a great portion worrying about her mother and what her death would do to the Matriarch. "You cannot die, Liara!" she told herself. "You cannot let mother down like this!" These moments always brought tears and then she cursed herself for wasting water … "Don't be foolish! You need to conserve energy and keep your wits. Someone will come." There was one thing that was gnawing at her … the last time she saw the krogan he had mentioned both her mother and Saren. He had said something about them working towards … towards … she had missed that part as one of the geth made that funny noise. She assumed that was how they communicated but she really wasn't sure. No, she must have misunderstood what the krogan had said. Or he was trying to trick her … trick her in coming down. "Well, it won't work," she had said to no one in particular. "I refuse to come down ... I ..." Liara looked over at the console. "How could you be so stupid! You deserve to die here! Wait, what was I thinking about? Oh, yes ... mother." She couldn't believe that the Matriarch would join with Saren in anything.

Her mind went back to that night that he had come to their home and the look that her mother gave her. It was a look that warned her to stay away … "No, why would mother be with that turian bastard?" she said out loud. As her voice echoed in the cavern, a sound off to her left made her catch her flinch. Two geth appeared as if checking on her and then a third appeared. Something was happening and Liara was scared. _They must have found a way in!_, she silently thought to herself as the panic started to rise up again. _No, please! Don't let him get to me!_ She was terrified of the krogan.

* * *

><p>The road had come to an end and the Mako was dead in the water. The team would have to go the rest of the way on foot ... This was not good news as the temperature outside was at 51C. "Make sure that your canteens are filled," Ashley told the team. Shepard instructed Corporal Greico to move the Mako a few feet from the basin and that it was his and Corporal Negulesco jobs to keep it safe.<p>

"Yeh, we don't want to come back and see the wheels missing," Serviceman Craig Mancini cracked.

As the ground team exited the Mako the heat hit them hard and Kaidan joked, "Hell of a place."

"Reminds me of Palm Springs," Mancini joked back.

"Nothing but rocks, dirt and lava," Wrex added. "Reminds me of home."

"At least it's a dry heat," Kaidan smiled at Shepard.

"Fifty degrees hotter and I might start to feel uncomfortable," Wrex poked at the others. "How are you mammals doing, Shepard?"

Shepard looked at Ashley, "If they start pulling out their dicks we shoot them instead of the geth, agreed?"

"Agreed!" Ashley laughed.

Shepard looked at the basin and hill ahead of them and didn't like it, "This is not what I want."

"There's no other way in," Wrex noted.

"You brought your pea shooter, Williams?" Shepard asked, pulling out her own sniper rifle.

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Alenko," Shepard called, "You biotic boys lead … Mancini, you stay with them and peck as you go with your rifle … Williams and I will hang back as you draw them out. You get them out in view, even just a hair … we'll do the rest."

"What's your personal best, Commander?" Williams asked.

Shepard laughed, "Why Williams! Are you about to pull your dick out now?"

"Only if you will," Williams dared.

Shepard looked at her team, ordered them forward and as she watched the three males heading toward the basin, gave a silent prayer that each would be protected and make it safely back to the Normandy.

"So really," Williams asked as they headed for their hide, "what is your personal best?"

Shepard grinned as she picked up her pace, "John Holmes couldn't carry a candle to mine."

"John Holmes?" Williams asked. "I've never heard of him. What was his record?"

* * *

><p>He was looking at his painting <em>Victims of the Buffalo Jump<em> while he sat in his oversized chair playing the sassub along with Johnny Cash's version of _Hurt_. The words spoke of his loneliness better than any turian song could. In fact, turians did not write or sing songs of personal pain like this. They were civic minded and put the needs of the many over the few … Looking inward was not discussed or encouraged. Garrus had learned early that his questioning nature, emotional needs were to be shut away if he were to survive … to be seen as normal. His first girlfriend had left him when he dared to share how he felt and with her absence he learned to hide his feelings. He acted turian … He got married and went to work at the C-Sec to make his father proud. But his marriage didn't last long when she began to see him ... the real him peek out and his father still seemed disappointed in him even though he was in C-Sec.

"Why didn't you ask her?" Garrus stopped playing and turned off the music. He thought of his life … being buried under paperwork, being strangled by all the red tape and he thought of Shepard out there. Out there hunting Saren like she was Wyatt Earp and as he pulled down the Colt .45 off his wall, thought that Shepard needed a Doc Holliday. "You should have asked her to come along!"

* * *

><p>"How big is it?" Tali asked Shepard over the open comm.<p>

Shepard, hiding behind a crate, peeked to look at the geth armature, "I think back on earth there are men who climb things this big!"

Wrex was keeping the geth off Shepard as she prayed that the quarian had some kind of trick to bring the geth down. The team had been giving everything they had but the damn thing would not go down. "I bet you wished I was there," Tali said without a hint of humor.

"Tali, don't make me want to kick your ass," Shepard growled.

"Ri-ght, Comm..ander," Tali stuttered. "I can upload a program on your omni-tool and then if you can get under it …"

"What?" Shepard couldn't believe what she just heard, "Tali, that thing has a siege pulse blast that would rip my face off … I cannot get under it."

"Oh," Tali was heard mumbling something … with Joker responding, "That's fucked."

"What?" Shepard was worried. "Tali? Joker?"

"Commander!" Williams yelled, "It's on the move … towards you!"

"Hello?" Shepard said into her mic. "For the love of Edna! I need a smoke … a drink … a snickers!"

"Uh, Commander, you might want to retreat," Joker was heard to say.

"What? Where is Tali?" Shepard was ready to throw her earpiece across the yard.

Shepard saw her team starting to move back as the geth armature continued moving forward. They had successfully killed all the others but this one … this "big frackin' bitch!" She looked again at the geth and looked at its underside. She took a deep breath, "Tali, upload whatever and then what do I do when I get underneath this thing?"

"Shepard!" Kaidan couldn't believe that she was really contemplating running at the geth. "Just one hit and you won't survive."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Alenko." Shepard began to take off her armor as the sweat dripped off her nose and forehead.

"What is she doing?" Williams yelled as her and Mancini continued to fire at the geth from behind a rock down from Shepard.

"Commander, without your armor-" Alenko started.

"I'm lighter … quicker," Shepard cut him off. "Look my armor doesn't mean a thing against that bitch. But without it I might stand a chance of getting under her."

"I'm going with you," Wrex said as he started to remove his armor.

Shepard stopped him, "No, Wrex. I need you and Alenko to use your biotics and keep it busy. Real busy!"

Wrex went to argue but then Shepard began to re-buckle Wrex's gauntlet back on. As he looked down at the female, her dark hair wet with sweat, her green eyes focused on getting his gauntlet buckled up, he saw that pup hanging on him and he heard her say, _Be careful, Beast. If you decide to stay longer … I live on 2001 Verne Street. My momma makes the best chicken dinner so if you get hungry_. Wrex thought of Shepard getting hurt and he felt the anger coming. He pushed Shepard farther behind the crate and in a blood rage ran towards the geth.

Shepard hitting the crate with her shoulder, heard it pop, and knew that it had just dislocated … but she fought the pain as she screamed out, "Wrex!" She would have gone after him but the pain was too much and she collapsed on the ground.

Alenko knew how to reset a shoulder so he bent down and as she cursed Wrex he began to manipulate her shoulder to see if it was intact with no bone fragments … "It's a good dislocation."

"There's such a thing?" Shepard asked as she giggled in pain. "Go help Wrex … I'll wait here."

Williams and Mancini began to empty their rifles in the geth as they watched Wrex head straight for it. Mancini yelled over the sound of their rifles, "That is one crazy sumbitch!"

"I think all krogans are crazy!" Williams responded.

The geth fired on Wrex but missed, the krogan was not dodging or stopping and yet the shots kept missing. "I think the geth's targeting is off!" Mancini whooped!

"Well, son-of-a-bi …" Williams had to agree with him. After all of the firepower they had thrown at it … it seemed to not be able to aim. This allowed the krogan to run passed all of its pulse blasts and hit it so hard that it collapsed like a house of cards. As it went down Wrex kept running like a freight train.

"Uh, is he going to stop?" Mancini asked, with the biggest grin on his face.

"Eventually," Williams answered as she scoped out the area again to make sure that no new visitors had arrived.

Kaidan had Shepard lie flat and was rotating her arm and shoulder outward, "Almost there, Commander." He said as he made a fist in the arm of her injured side. As he pushed slowly, Shepard cried out, but Kaidan continued to push until they heard a pop.

"Thank you," Shepard said to him, as she felt instant relief. "Where's Wrex?"

"Probably Toledo by now," Mancini quipped.

Kaidan helped Shepard up and started picking up her armor, "Do you need help putting these on?"

Shepard took them from him, "No thanks! I can dress myself … Williams, go get Wrex."

"Yes, ma'am." Ashley, with rifle in hand, made her way cautiously toward the direction he had been running.

"Mancini, go up that hill and see if there are any incoming visitors." Shepard ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered.

"Alenko," Shepard said when they were alone, "I need you to know something."

Kaidan could see that whatever it was … well, it was serious. "Yes, Commander?"

"This asari … Dr. Liara T'Soni. She is the daughter of the Matriarch Benezia," Shepard confided. "I need you to monitor me … make sure that if I … Bacchus ... make sure that I don't over react to her."

"Commander?" Kaidan was confused.

Shepard wiped the sweat off her face with her shirt sleeve, "I don't like them … I mean, I don't hate them but they freak me out."

Kaidan let out his breath, relieved. He was worried that Shepard was about to tell him that she was attracted to them … sexually. "And with her being the Matriarch's daughter …"

"I might just …" Shepard knew what she was admitting sounded awful, but she needed someone to know. Someone to be her moral compass … to be her … mother. She needed someone to make sure that she didn't "act ugly" as Hannah would call it. "Don't let me hurt her unless the danger is real."

"Yes, Commander." Kaidan was glad that Shepard had confided in him … not Ashley or Wrex. She had confided … trusted in him.

* * *

><p>Liara thought she heard gunshot somewhere above her, but she was afraid to hope. Then she heard one of the shaft elevators being lowered … more gunshots … another elevator. "You are losing your mind, Liara."<p>

Shepard had sent Ashley with Mancini to check what appeared to be the living quarters, just in case the good doctor was there and she headed for the prothean dig site with Kaidan and Wrex. Not that Wrex would go anywhere else, anyway. Now as they moved lower into the cavern, the elevator began to grind as sparks flew. It tilted over just as it came to a stop. "Crap," Shepard sighed. "This day just gets better and better."

"Do you want me to go first?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard laughed, "No ... If we are about to run into some Medusa asari it might as well be me."

"Commander ..." After what Shepard had confided in him he was worried.

"I'm joking," Shepard waved as she began hanging over the side and teasing, "I'm sure that we are about to meet a lovely asari who just wants to be our friend."

"Be careful, we are right behind you." Kaidan hollered as Shepard dropped to the damaged landing below.

Just as Shepard started to walk towards the next landing she heard, "Uh … hello? Could somebody help me? Please?" She looked back up at Kaidan and knew that she couldn't wait for him. She jumped down to the next landing as the voice called out again, "Can you hear me out there? I am trapped. I need help!"

Liara told herself that she was just yelling for nothing. That once again she was being stupid, but then she saw a shadow to her left, then movement of a figure stepping out from the shadows. It was a human and as Liara saw her face, her breath caught and her heart raced … it was her.


	28. Visiting Hours & Checkout

It was her … wasn't it?

She had thought it was … briefly. She had been caught by the stranger's dark green almond-shaped eyes … Even behind the barrier they were striking. She would never forget how beautiful, kind and green Hannah of Mindoir's eyes were and this human had them. But as the human moved closer she realized that while the eyes were familiar the face was different. The lips were wrong; the face looked … what word Liara was looking for was younger but she did not understand human aging. She had seen older people but she did not understand their faces ... their bodies cradle to grave process. The human did favor Hannah though. She was beautiful like her despite the dirt and sweat but clearly it was not her … Her mind was playing tricks and now she was creating hallucinations that shifted in appearance as well. _My subconscious must want to punish me for being this stupid,_ she bitterly thought as the human moved closer.

Shepard had caught the asari looking at her with knowing eyes … eyes that conveyed intimate knowledge of her. There was genuine joy and respect that she was showing when Shepard first appeared which both confused and calmed the Commander. The asari did not look familiar and as Shepard moved closer, the look disappeared and was replaced with confusion and despair. _You are seeing things now_, Shepard thought as she drew closer. _No asari ever looked at you that way._

The human and asari looked at each other in silence ... Shepard unsure of what to say and Liara thinking that the human in front of her was just a hallucination. Shepard finally touched the barrier and then back up at the asari, "Are you okay? How did you get inside this, uh ... this … whatever this is?"

Liara liked the pleasing sound of the human's voice but _why answer?_ Liara thought. _I'll just be talking to myself._

"Who put you here?" Shepard asked.

_Very clever, Liara,_ she thought. _Remind me how I did this to myself … Please, just go away if you are put here to torment me._

As Kaidan appeared Shepard nodded towards Liara, "I think she's in shock."

Kaidan looked up at her, "Are you okay?"

_Now there are two!_ Liara sighed. _I am really going insane! What next a … a … thi-_

"Shepard?" Wrex called as he made his way down, "Do you want me to try and knock it down?

_Yes, I'm losing it!_ Liara had spent hours watching a krogan smack against the barrier over and over_, if I can see a real krogan pound against the curtain why not an imaginary one? _

"No," Shepard shook her head as she smacked her hand against it. "It's pretty solid. I think you would just bounce off. Or you might hurt her."

"How do we get her out?" Kaidan asked as he ran his hand against it as well.

Shepard standing close to the barrier tried talking with the asari again, "Look, I know you are scared … I think. But can you talk to me? Please?"

_Are you - are you real?_ Liara wondered as the human stood waiting. _Oh no, don't be stupid, Liara._ "Humans do not come here!" she finally spoke.

"Sorry?" Shepard responded, "Did you say something?"

Liara was tired, confused and muttered to herself, "You're hallucinating ... and now talking to yourself. Ha! Oh, Goddess! I'm going to die here!"

Shepard couldn't help but smile as Kaidan tried to reason with her, "You're not hallucinating. We are here to help you."

"You're oddly lucid for a hallucination," Liara looked at Kaidan. "They don't usually claim to be real. Or do they? I guess I wouldn't know … I don't usually hallucinate ... At least, I don't think so."

Shepard could see that the asari was confused and her jabbering was funny to Shepard, _Ricky you would really love this!_ She honestly could have stood there all day listening to the asari argue with herself but "it just wouldn't be right," she said out loud.

"Commander?" Kaidan didn't understand what Shepard meant, but hoped it wasn't related to what they had previously discussed. "What wouldn't be right?"

"Letting her be the floor show," Shepard winked, and then turned back to Liara, "Doctor Liara T'Soni? My name is Commander Shepard, the Off-"

"Of course you are …" Liara cut in as the name Shepard was spoken. It had been over four years since she had been at the exclusive lounge Minoque in the Aikaterine. Four years since Ismene Dantium plotted using kaffee to seduce a Lieutenant Shepard when Liara had stopped her ... stopped her by using her family name … by using her position in the asari society just to keep this human called Shepard out of the clutches of a Dantium. Liara still couldn't believe that she had done that or that she had not moved into the shadows to see this Shepard who was creating such a stir in the lounge. She had always wondered what the human looked like, but out of curiousity alone. She had never been attracted to one and she doubted that Shepard was different. Beside, with everyone making such a fuss over her the human probably had enough of her kind to pleasure with. The Minoque bartender had told her that Shepard was the most attractive human that she'd ever seen and looking at the human in front of her she would have agreed. _But this is your imagination! Of course she would look perfect … besides the sweat … dirt …_ she closed her eyes and opened them hoping to see a cleaner version. But the human still looked dirty … "Well, I think the bartender would still find this version even more appealing."

"Bartender?" Kaidan looked at Shepard who was smiling and shaking her head.

Liara, looking into Shepard's eyes, added, "My mind is not very original … I saved you now you save me … Oh, I guess it's appropriate though. It makes me feel less ashamed."

"She saved you?" Kaidan asked a very bemused Shepard.

"What?" Shepard asked.

"The asari … she saved you?"

Shepard looked closer at Liara then turned to Kaidan, "Nope."

"Yes I did," Liara said in small voice.

"But she just said she did … again." Kaidan pointed at Liara.

"No, she didn't save me," Shepard shot back, not believing that Kaidan was actually taking the jabbering asari seriously. "She's just losing it."

"Are you sure?" Kaidan pushed.

"Look, the only good thing an asari has done for me is leave me alone," Shepard joked.

The words stung Liara, even if she believed that this was all in her own mind and so she spit back, "Why didn't I hallucinate Evie … At least she would be pleasing to look upon and intelligent?"

Shepard had heard Liara but she ignored the words when Wrex offered yet again, "I can knock it down, Shepard."

Shepard rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and turned to her team, "Okay … Wrex, you will not run into this wall of Jericho … Kaidan, I have never seen this asari … ever. Now will both of you just stand over there … quietly. I am losing my patience!"

As Kaidan backed up, Wrex gave out a laugh, "Shepard! You are almost worthy to mate with when you are angry!"

"Now that was an image I didn't need in my head," Kaidan mumbled.

Shepard dropped her head and shook it before she looked back up at the asari, "Okay, listen … loopy loop … I am Commander Shepard. The Office of Special Tactics and Recon sent me to locate you and to bring you to the Citadel for safety reasons. Do you understand?"

"A SpecTRe too?" Liara laughed, "That's even better … What else would I conjure up? A perfect protector figure … Yes, perfect. One might even say comforting."

Shepard, frustrated and slightly steamed over the Evie comment, pushed back, "I don't care if you believe I'm a figment of your imagination, you need to tell me how you got up there so we can get your ass down and you can find the nearest strip joint to make dancy-dancy!"

"Commander!" Kaidan started … but Shepard waved him back.

"You almost had me convinced there," Liara responded. "I would not expect a hallucination to be so defiant … or rude!"

"Or plain looking and ignorant!" Shepard shot back.

"Fine," Liara glared, "I'll play along. As you can see I am trapped here. Now, if you are as real as you claim, prove it … find a way to get me out."

Shepard pressed against the barrier again, "I would gladly get you down … but you need to tell me how you got up there?"

Shepard began trying to find a weakness in the barrier as Liara told her, "Ah yes … the bullying figment of my imagination wants me to retrace my steps. See if I can figure out where I went wrong ... Okay. I was working on the floor below uncovering the south wall … it is white with these red flecks, amazing. Not as amazing as the wall of Kyuos on Aethoyner … That wall had such vivid shades of red, orange and yell-"

"Doctor?" Shepard interrupted, "Could we speed this up?"

"Oh … yes … I was at work when a krogan with geth showed up. Geth! Can you believe that? Beyond the veil? … So I ended up here where I activated the defenses. I knew that the barrier curtains could protect me. When I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn't supposed to. I was trapped in here."

"So … you did this to yourself?" Shepard laughed. "Why on earth would you touch something you don't understand?"

Liara was finding this human impossible with every exchange, "I know how it works! I've studied … calm down, Liara. You're yelling at a figment of your imagination."

"Shepard," Wrex began to offer his services again when Shepard shot him a look.

"Uh, I wouldn't do that Commander," Kaidan advised. "I think it's a mating call to him."

As Wrex growled at Kaidan, Shepard ignored both of them, "So if you turned it on then where do I turn it off?"

Liara sighed, "The control is behind me … it will deactivate this thing."

"It's behind you?" Kaidan tried to see it.

"I told you," Shepard looked at Kaidan, "This day just gets better and better."

"Yes," Liara sighed. "You'll have to find some way past the barrier curtain ... That's the tricky part."

"And here I thought the mountain you brought down was the tricky part," Shepard cracked at Wrex. "No … it is this lovely curtain."

"I can knock it down," Wrex offered for a fourth time.

"What is it with you and this wall?" Shepard laughed, despite her frustration.

"Maybe there is another way to shut it off," Kaidan said.

"No," Liara answered, "The defenses cannot be shut off from the outside, but I don't know how you'll get in here either." Liara then looked at Shepard, "Listen … if you are real, be careful. That krogan is big and he … just be careful. If you are not real then just leave me alone ... I'm tired of talking to myself."

* * *

><p>"Any word on Liara?" Tatiaria asked.<p>

"None at this time," Tevos answered, "But I do know that Commander Shepard has reached the Artemis Tau cluster so it won't be long."

Tatiaria did not know if she should be thankful or worried, "This Commander Shepard … she won't harm Liara will she? She wouldn't …" Tatiaria couldn't even say the word _kill_.

"My instructions to Shepard were that Liara be brought back to me safely," Tevos calmly stated. "Unless Liara is involved with Benezia or attacks Shepard she should be safe."

"Would you not reconsider letting Liara return to Thessia?" Tatiaria pleaded. "I could come and get her on the Citadel and bring her home if you would only say yes." Tatiaria remembered what the Matriarch Livia had said of using the Councilor's desire for her and added, "I could leave now … it would allow us to have time together before she is there."

Tevos knew that Tatiaria was trying to seduce her into saying yes. She wanted to see her, to touch her … and she knew that she could. She knew that Tatiaria would pleasure with her if just to get Liara. _No_, Tevos thought against her desire. _My desires cannot influence my decisions … I must not let my mind become clouded in these dark times._ "Though there is nothing more that I desire then to be in your company, Liara must stay on the Citadel until the Matriarch has been brought before me or her body returned to Thessia."

"Her body?" Tatiaria choked out, "No! Please Ciara … if anything were to happen to my sister. No."

Tevos knew that Benezia had been more like a mother to Tatiaria and that the death of the Matriarch would shatter her, as it would grieve her. She softened her voice and almost whispered, "I have prayed daily to Athame for the safety of the Matriarch and that she once more guides us … leads us in the halls of the Temple."

Tatiaria felt the tears run down her face as she choked out, "As I do … please protect Liara while she is in your care. I do not think that I could bear losing both."

"I promise, Aria … I will have her contact you just as soon as she is here." Tevos signed off.

Tatiaria left her sitting room and saw her own daughter playing a card game with a daughter of Antonina Delana. Her daughter squealed with laughter as she placed a card down, "You are much too easy to beat! If only Li-Li were here!"

"Why?" Delana's daughter grumbled, "then you would pout because she won."

Tatiaria knew that if something happened to Liara then her own daughter would be devastated. She walked over to the serenity wall facing the courtyard entrance of her estate and remembered the countless times the cousins would play in the water and then track the water through the home. Liara and Sibila would strip, splash in the water and then run screaming towards the kitchen for sweets as both Tatiaria and Benezia would chase after them, Tati screaming "Stop! You are tracking water on my … Nina! Get towels!"

Delana would laugh, "Are the water beasts on the move?" as she went for the towels as requested.

"Liara!" Benezia would laugh as she scooped her up, "You and Siby are in trouble!"

Liara would giggle as Benezia kissed her on her stomach, "Mother! Don't! That tickles!"

Tatiaria put her hands under the water and began to cry. Her sobs were heard in the house and Sibila quickly came out to her mother, "What is wrong?"

She grabbed her daughter without looking her in the face, holding her close, "Ignore my tears, they are just from happy memories."

Sibila, as her mother held her close, looked at the serenity wall and her stomach dropped, "This is about Li-Li, isn't it?" Tatiaria held her closer, "Mother! Please tell me that Liara is okay! Tell me!"

"Yes! Yes!" she answered as she took a deep breath and then pulled away, "Liara is fine. I ju-just miss her and my sister."

"Is that why you had me come home?" Sibila asked.

"Please forgive me," Tatiaria begged as Sibila began to wipe away her mother's tears. "I know that you have a life on Illium … but I need you here for now."

Sibila smiled at her mother, kissed her on the cheek and then comforted her, "I love no other company over yours, mother. If you require me to stay here then I will gladly."

"I am blessed to have you," Tatiaria kissed her daughter's hands. "But I may need you to go to the Citadel shortly."

"The Citadel?" Sibila had never been there and the thought interested her.

"Yes," Tatiaria knew that her daughter would happily go anywhere new just as she herself long ago during her maiden years. "But if I send you it will not be for pleasure."

"Mother!" Sibila lifted her head up, "I am Sibila T'Soni … we do not waste our time on pleasures."

"Of course you don't!" Delana cut in as she entered the courtyard and acted just as shocked as Sibila, "Why the Sibila T'Soni I know is quite serious, intelligent and graceful."

"That's Li-Li!" Sibila made a face at Delana. "Speaking of which, mother has she communicated with you? She hasn't returned my last two messages."

"I should be hearing from her shortly," Tatiaria answered as she looked at her partner, Delana.

"Please let me speak with her when she does," Sibila put her hands in her mother's, "I would be forever grateful."

"As if she could keep you two water beasts apart!" Delana smiled.

* * *

><p>Williams and Mancini had breathed a sigh of relief when they entered the air-conditioned R-A1 building. But their smiles of relief were quickly removed as they began to run into geth throughout the building. Williams and Mancini were sweeping the place as they looked for any sign of the asari scientist and just as they entered upon a suite that had her name next to the door, Shepard was heard over their comm., "Williams, the package was located but she is not secured as of yet. How are you and Mancini doing?"<p>

Williams looked at the plaque Dr. LIARA T'SONI and slowly opened the door to the small suite. "We are just about to enter the package's quarters."

"Be careful," Shepard instructed. "There are a lot of tin men here."

"Yeh," Williams looked at Mancini, "We've had a handful welcome us here already. Any instructions?"

"I have a feeling we'll need to evacuate this place pretty quick." She heard the Commander, "The package will need medical attention based off our brief communication with her. So if you would be so kind … pack for her and return to the Mako for pick up."

"Aye, aye, ma'am." Williams carefully entered the main room and on seeing the white couch against the left wall wondered how the asari had kept it so clean with all the red clay out there. "She must be some kind of neat freak."

"Uh, uh." Mancini was looking at the flat screen monitor on the opposite wall, "Do you think-"

"No." Williams cut him off. She could just see them trying to lug it down the hill. On the glass coffee-table was a sheet containing the Serrice Delphinus Skyball team roster and game schedule and she motioned for Miancini to pick it up, "It seems the brain likes sports. That's surprising."

Mancini saw the holo of Liara with the Matriarch and jumped back, "Isn't that the traitor?"

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Williams picked up the stand, "The Commander will want to see this. It seems Ms. Prothean expert may not be on our side." As she moved towards the bedroom she called out, "Check out time, Ms. T'Soni."

"I hope she tips us," Mancini grumbled.


	29. Battle of the Titans

Liara had been more than pleased to see her hallucinations depart and to be left alone. In their absence she began to hum a tune that was a favorite of her cousin's called _Arseniko_. It was a song about a turian male who got lost and was found by an asari matron … she never cared for the story but she loved the melody. "Oh, Siby … I so wish that you were here. I am afraid … and now I'm starting to lose my mind." _Hmm, losing? No Liara, you have lost your mi-_. The sound of thunder was heard and her heart began to race … Was this how you entered into the embrace of Athame? "Oh, mother! I don't want to die like this! Not like this!"

* * *

><p>"Are you happy?" Shepard asked Wrex who was holding the mining laser.<p>

"Can we take this with us?" Wrex asked, as Kaidan started for the hole that was now in the cavern floor.

"We can buy one later," Shepard answered, starting for the opening.

Wrex dropped the laser and followed the other two. Kaidan was looking at a ladder that ran up the shaft, "Do you want to go first?" He was asking Shepard. Wrex, not wanting Shepard to run into an ambush alone, began climbing. Kaidan seeing the krogan moving upwards shook his head, "Uh, or second?"

Shepard moved to the ladder, placed a hand on a rung, looked up and then back at Kaidan, "He has to weigh over a ton."

"Easy," Kaidan agreed as Shepard pulled on the rung, making him realize what she was saying. "If he slips or the ladder doesn't support him … he is -"

"Coming down on us," Shepard finished. "How about we flip a coin to see who goes next?"

Kaidan pulled Shepard away, opened his right hand to let a little blue light dance and smirked, "If he comes down I'll protect you."

Shepard would never get use to biotics and found it both frightening and fascinating. She had seen Kaidan throw a man so hard that his insides were pushed up and out through his mouth. That kind of power was not natural and she wondered how he was able to control it … how he didn't lose it when angry or use it for personal gain. As he begun to climb she realized that he was Clark Kent with the ability of a Superman. _I wonder if biotics are useful in bed?_, she found herself wondering as she began to climb but quickly shook the thought out of her mind.

* * *

><p>As Wrex moved from the ladder onto the tiled floor, Liara turned her head to her left and caught a glimpse of him through her peripheral vision. As Kaidan and Shepard appeared she still believed that she was still hallucinating and now with them getting closer … <em>I must be getting worse<em>.

Shepard walked up to the backside of Liara, "Okay, we're in … now what?"

"What?" Liara couldn't believe that they were … _real?_ "You're real, aren't you? By the Goddess, you're real!"

Shepard could hear the almost manic desperation in her voice, "Yes, I'm real. Now, let's get you down from there before more tin uh … geth arrive."

"Yes, I've seen enough of them to last a lifetime." Liara almost cried. "That button should shut down my containment field." She instructed looking at the console at her left.

Kaidan pulled Shepard to the side and whispered, "Shepard, be careful … remember, she could be working with her mother and Saren."

Shepard looked over at the asari, "Kaidan, if she was with Saren, I don't think the geth would be trying to kill her."

"Are they?" he asked, "I know they are trying to kill us … but her?"

Shepard realized that Kaidan was right. "Okay, let's say they aren't trying to kill her … but she apparently was not going to go willingly."

"Or she was getting ready to go with them and accidently put herself in that thing." He reasoned. "Now she is using us to get her free and once down …"

"Well then," Shepard pulled Kaidan farther away, "If she makes any questionable or aggressive moves be prepared."

As Shepard started to move away, Kaidan pulled her back, "You be careful … She's biotic."

"What?" Shepard could see that Kaidan was worried.

"The asari," Kaidan explained. "They are natural biotics … so she will potentially be stronger than me."

_Superman meet Wonder Woman _... so she teased, "Well Clark let's hope that Diana has been weakened by her time in the invisible plane without in-flight meals and a pillow."

"Commander?" Kaidan didn't catch the joke.

"Is there something wrong?" Liara worried asked, "Hello?"

"Nothing wrong, Loopy Loop," Shepard smiled as she walked back to the console. As she moved her hand over it a set of buttons appeared with strange markings on them. "Uh, doctor … which button?"

"The one with the lower right quadrant circle arc," she said.

"The what?" Shepard had hated geometry with Mrs. Walters and she had a feeling that she was back there in that class.

"Think coma," Kaidan whispered to her.

"Thanks, Mrs. Walters ", Shepard put her hand over it and then stopped. What if the asari was wrong and she … they ended up in her predicament as well. "Crap."

"Shepard?" Wrex moved closer.

Shepard turned to her two companions, "Look, do me a favor … back up. Just in case she is …"

"I'm not wrong … I know how this works," Liara cut in sounding offended. "Mostly."

"We can see that," Shepard couldn't help but tease. "But you won't take offense if I have these two back up a little … mostly, will you?"

Liara was finding this human irritating and sighed, "Of course not."

"Thank you." Shepard gave a slight bow.

Wrex moved next to the ladder and Kaidan followed him as Shepard looked at the button and prayed, _Lord be my tower and keep me safe,_ at the same time that Liara closed her eyes and prayed, _Oh Goddess, let the waters be still under her feet. _

As Shepard pushed the button everyone held their breath until Liara fell flat on the ground … then a collective sigh was heard. Shepard went over to the asari and helped her up, careful to not touch her skin. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, thank you … I-I … oh," Liara's legs gave out and Shepard caught her by the waist pulling her close as Liara put her hand on Shepard's upper arm to steady herself.

The closeness was starting to freak Shepard out so she looked at Kaidan with desperation, "Kaidan! Help keep the doctor up … please!" She had hoped that her panic was not apparent as he ran over and took Liara from her.

Liara did not like the closeness with the humans as well and as Kaidan put his arm around her, replacing Shepard's, she forced herself to stand, "I'm okay." Kaidan let her go as she stood but kept close just in case she needed him again. "How did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier!"

Shepard looked over at Wrex, "A krogan and mining laser is a beautiful thing when you want to bore through something."

"You bored through?" Liara was impressed but also surprised that the others had not thought of that. She then focused on Shepard, "I-I'm sorry. I thought you were a hallucination."

"I get that a lot," Shepard smiled.

"You do?" Liara was confused.

Shepard laughed, "Yes, I do."

"But why would … you aren't being serious are you?" Liara felt embarrassed.

Shepard laughed as she walked away, leaving Kaidan to answer, "Don't feel bad … That's happened to me with the Commander."

Shepard looked up the ladder and knew that the asari did not have enough strength to crawl up it … or even if the ladder went to the top. She was only assuming it did and that was another reason to look for another way out.

As Shepard was looking up the ladder Liara confided in Kaidan, "I thought I was going mad."

Kaidan was about to ask her how long she had been stuck in the bubble when Shepard came back and said that the ladder was not an option. "Doctor," Kaidan asked Liara, "any idea how we can get out of this place?"

Liara looked at Shepard, feeling a little uncomfortable under her stare, "There is an elevator back in the center of the tower … At least, I-I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here."

"You think?" Shepard asked as her eyes narrowed, "We aren't all going to en-"

"I'm sure!" Or at least Liara hoped she was sure … just so she could show this human that she wasn't useless or stupid. "Come on!"

"And here you were worried about her biotics," Shepard cracked to Kaidan, "I have a feeling if she kills us it won't be intentional and it'll include herself."

"Hmph," Liara had not met anyone as rude as this Shepard, _I should have let her drink that kaffee_!

* * *

><p>As Ashley and Mancini were safely tucked back into the Mako, Greico looked at the luggage, "What is that?"<p>

"The asari's belongings," Mancini grumbled. "The Commander had us get her stuff."

Satake, who had been left at the mouth of the basin had returned with them. He had been outside in the heat so long that he stunk to high heaven, "What's in it?"

"Dear god!" Ashley held her nose, "Get out of the Mako!"

"What?" Satake was the only one fortunate enough to not really smell his wonderful odor.

"If you do not get out of here," Negelesco threatened, "I'll figure out a way to aim the cannon at you."

"This is wrong!" Satake groused as he opened the hatch.

Ashley looked at the luggage sitting on an empty seat, "Now that I think about it … we won't be able to fit all of us and the asari's things."

"I say just throw it out," Mancini said, "I mean, she is that traitor's daughter!"

"What?" Both Greico and Negelesco asked in unison.

Ashley glared at Mancini not wanting anyone to learn before she talked to the Commander. But now it was out of the bag, "There was a holo with the Matriarch … but that doesn't mean she is her daughter."

"But it does mean that she knows her!" Mancini countered. "I say that we tell the Commander now so we can just interrogate her here and then … pop!"

As Mancini held up his hand as a gun and pulled the trigger Ashley shook her head, "No … it's better if we wait until we are all back on the Normandy. Then the Commander can decide on what to do with her. As for her luggage … we can let the Commander decide on that too. Maybe we can leave the krogan."

"He scares the shit out of me," Greico admitted. "Have you looked into his eyes? Man … like a shark's. Cold. I vote we keep the luggage."

"I second that!" Mancini raised his hand. "I don't think it's right that he is allowed to wander around the Normandy. I mean … it's an Alliance ship!"

"I'll bring it up with the Commander," Ashley told them. "But for now, focus on the mission."

* * *

><p>As the elevator moved slowly upward Liara couldn't help but look at Shepard. The Commander was looking up and at each floor as they passed, making sure that there were no waiting geth. Liara wondered what Shepard knew and as the elevator came to rest, she asked, "Commander? Do you know why the geth were here … why they were coming after me?"<p>

Shepard, still facing forward, answered, "Do you know a Saren Arterius?"

"The SpecT …" Liara's throat closed up on that word. How could she be stupid … The human had told her that she was there by the order of the Office of Special Tactics and Recon. "Oh, Goddess!" she placed her hand against her throat as she backed up, "You were sent by the SpecTRe! You were sent by Saren!"

Shepard heard the fear in her voice and as she turned to look at the asari, Liara backed up to the edge and almost went over. She caught herself but was still right on the edge. One step and she would go over. Shepard saw the terror in her eyes and cursed herself for mentioning him. Kaidan quickly stepped in and said in his most soothing voice, "No, doctor … Saren has been stripped of his SpecTRe status."

"I don't believe you!" Liara could feel angry tears wanting to escape, "Don't come near me or I'll … I'll jump!"

Shepard could see that she meant it, the terror in her eyes was real … Kaidan moved closer and tried to reassure her, "Doctor … no one is going to hurt you."

"How could I have been so stupid?" Liara said more to herself, then looked at Shepard, "He knew that with you … Oh, I fell into his trap eagerly!"

Shepard knew that the doctor was running on empty and it was messing with her mind. Then she saw the asari move slightly back and her heart began to beat hard against her chest. Kaidan had taken another step towards her and Shepard knew that she had to do something. So she stopped Kaidan by the arm, moved just slightly in front of him as she whispered, "If she falls … stop her with your biotics. You can do that, right?"

"I'm not sure," Kaidan whispered back.

Shepard looked at Liara who had the look of a rabbit cornered by dogs and the look of such helplessness and fear tore at Shepard. She had known those feelings on Mindoir. With sweat rolling down her back, Shepard moved just a little closer when Liara yelled, "Stay away! I-I mean it!" Liara knew that she was not thinking clearly, that she was so exhausted by her time trapped that her emotions were uncontrollable ... she was defenseless to them. For the first time in her life she was running off of them and not her mind and it was tearing at her. Confusing her.

Shepard stopped, clinched her fist knowing what she had to do and then unclenched it and extended it to the asari as she said softly, "Liara, I'm not here to hurt you … please. If you take my hand you have my solemn oath that I'll keep you safe."

Liara looked at the hand extended, and then up into Shepard's eyes. She saw the kindness of Hannah in those eyes, if only for a second and it was in that moment that she knew she had no other option but to trust this human. _I hope that you are like Hannah on Illium_ … "You promise?"

"I promise." Shepard said then watched as the asari moved forward and took her by the hand. The hand was colder than hers and the skin felt … different. Not horrible. Not rough. Just different. But she still wanted to pull away. She wanted to but didn't. It was Liara who pulled away instead.

Kaidan, glad to see the asari calmed somewhat, asked, "Saren is looking for the conduit. Since you are a prothean expert he probably wants you to help him find it."

Liara had never heard of a prothean conduit but she also did not believe that was the reason Saren had sent the krogan and geth for her … or at least all of it. She debated on telling them what she knew but she did not trust them. No, so she offered nothing other than, "The conduit? But I don't know …" her words silenced as the ground began to shake and the walls started to crack.

As the earth quieted, Wrex grumbled , "What the hell was that?"

Liara knew instantly, "These ruins aren't stable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event."

Shepard looked at a crack newly formed in the tower's wall and called out to the Normandy, "Joker, get the crew in the Mako and then lock in on my signal. This is going to be a tight retrieval!"

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker quickly responded. "Secure and aweigh. ETA eight minutes."

Kaidan rubbed his temple, "Not much margin for error."

Wrex told Shepard, "If I die in here … I'll kill him."

"Well then … let's not stand here!" Kaidan said, heading for the way out.

The krogan and his half dozen geth had been waiting for them at the top level and after watching the struggle between the asari and her "rescuers" the leader was bored now. After failing to capture the asari over thirteen years ago the krogan would not fail this time. His only concern was the krogan with them … Urdnot Wrex. It both concerned and excited him. To kill or be killed by the offspring of Warlord Jarrod would be an honor.

As the battlemaster krogan appeared, Wrex opened his mouth slightly and flicked his tongue. It was his people's way of smelling each other out and as he closed his mouth he was excited. He was looking at another battlemaster … the taste of many kills making his tongue twitch as he moved forward. Biotic as well. "I am Wrex … offspring of the great Attila." Wrex had named his grandfather instead of his father.

Kaidan looked at Shepard confused. Neither had understood what Wrex had just said as the battlemaster spoke in the language of old. "This can't be good."

"This is Wrex's show now," Shepard told him as she stood to the krogan's left.

"Urdnot Wrex!" The krogan growled. "Proud killer of the Warlord Jarrod … a krogan that in desecrating the Hollows lost the right to being above the grounds of Tuchanka!"

Wrex's eyes narrowed, "Yes he did … and you?"

The krogan flicked his tongue, "We are here just for the asari. You and these two talJoks may go on your way in honor of Attila."

Liara, who understood the language of old, took a step back and Shepard knew that whatever had just been said concerned her. So she put her hand out palm facing behind and motioned for Liara to get behind her. "Wrex? What is going on?"

The krogan rumbled, "So you answer to the talJok?"

Wrex stepped slightly in front of Shepard, "I answer to no one … unlike you. Do you lick his tip when he beckons?"

The earth began to rumble again and two large chunks of wall came down … one crushed three of the geth and Kaidan yelled just loud enough so that Shepard could hear him over the quake, "If we stay here we are all going to be crushed!"

"Give us the nedVes!" The krogan had demanded, used their slang for the asari.

"My pup has found the asari watering," Wrex answered, "when she is done with her you can have her then."

The earth shook harder and Shepard knew that with the wall caving in, the lava starting to seep through that they had to move, "Wrex! We can't stay here!"

"No Shepard … we can't!" he growled at her. "We can give him this asari or not. You're call."

Shepard looked at Liara, looked at the destruction around her and then looked at the krogan in their way, "She'll stay with us … thanks!"

"Not an option!" he growled at her. "Saren wants her and he always gets what he wants."

Liara yelled at him in the old language, "Whatever he wants he is not getting from me, asZalt."

Shepard and Kaidan looked at each as Wrex laughed at Liara using an old insult in their language. The krogan slammed his hand against his armor and flicking his tongue responded, "I will show you who is asZalt! As I silenced those that would defend you on Aethoyner … so will these be silenced as well."

"It was you?" Liara remembered Zazzy, Vesta and Tila … "No!" She looked at Shepard, Kaidan and Wrex and the fear paralyzed her. They would die too. She dropped to her knee, all her energy, all her hope gone.

"Am I missing something?" Shepard moved past Wrex to the krogan, "Are you so stupid that you don't see the walls caving in around us?"

"Exhilarating, isn't it." He answered, "The atmosphere is perfect for a life and death struggle!"

Shepard looked back at Wrex who had slammed his hand against his armor, "It is!"

The krogan moved forward, "Let us honor each other, Urdnot Wrex!"

"No krogan under Saren's lash will know honor! Just death!" Wrex answered back in their old language.

"Kill them!" the krogan ordered in rage. "But spare the asari … she will see who is an asZalt! And then she will feel the tip of Saren!"

Liara couldn't move … she screamed at her body to move but the fear was just too overwhelming. As she hid her face, Shepard watched as the two krogans crashed against each other like elephants in battle. She saw blue flashes in her peripheral as Kaidan worked his magic and then she saw that Wrex was being shot at by one of the geth. She raised her rifle, caught the head of the geth in her sights and pulled. The head popped off but it continued to shoot so she shot again knocking the weapon out of its hands … along with knocking off its hands.

Then she took a deep breath, dropped her rifle as she pulled out her knife, began running at the battling krogans like she was about to jump over a pole and hopped onto the back of the enemy. She heard Wrex yell at her but the krogan had to go down now … their time was running out fast. Shepard drove her knife into the back of its head and as the plates began to give she dug harder. As the krogan roared with pain and tried to pull her off, it gave Wrex the chance to pull out his pistol. He saw what Shepard was doing and a cold chill ran up his back but he refocused and shot the krogan pointblank in the face, splattering bits and blood all over Shepard's face and upper body.

The krogan stumbled backwards, his movements telling Shepard that if she didn't get clear she would be crushed under its weight as it fell, so she pulled out her knife and as she went to jump off he spun around throwing her into the wall. Wrex raised his pistol again and shot it twice in the back of the head. Kaidan having cleared out the other two geth, saw Shepard motionless on the ground with blood and bits of matter all over her and raced over thinking she had been killed. "Shepard!"

Shepard slowly got up as a piece of the wall landed next to her, "I'm …pth … okay! How is … pth.. the asari?" she asked as she spit out pieces of the krogan that had found its way into her mouth.

"Alive!" he answered as he helped her up.

"Good. Get her and let's get the hell out of here!" She said as she saw Wrex barreling up to her in anger.

"What were you doing?" he growled.

"Shaving some of the kill time off!" She growled back as another piece of the wall came down just behind him.

Wrex looked at the chunk then back at Shepard, "Don't ever get into a fight with two krogans again!"

"Then kill him quicker next time!" she argued.

"Commander!" Kaidan yelled as he helped Liara up, "We have to go!"

"Can we fight later?" Shepard yelled over the sounds of the cavern crumbling?

Wrex glared at her then headed for the exit, "Later."


	30. Lava & KaChing

Shepard had been in the shower for over an hour and a half ... her body red from the scrubbing and not just from the temperature this time, a toothbrush in her mouth, toothpaste spilling out of her mouth and an almost empty bottle of Listerine in her hand. She had washed her hair four times, soaped her body up at least six times, brushed her teeth and tongue three times and was working through half a bottle of Listerine. Despite all this she could still taste the krogan and feel his blood on her. The taste, texture had reminded her of the batarian on Mindoir … the pieces that she had pulled off of him as he raped her. She had felt her mind spiraling down as she remembered the events in Rurik's Grocer … She had thrown up twice before she made it to the shower and if she thought too long about the taste of the krogan … the taste of the batarian … she knew that she would be bent over the toilet for a third time. So she tried to think of other things.

She reached out of the shower and snapped on her iMuse that she had been listening to earlier and the Thompson Twins began to sing about "Lies". "Thabs jus greab." Shepard mumbled through the toothpaste and toothbrush in her mouth. As the hot water ran down her head and over her body and the word "lies, lies, lies" beat out she remembered that Ashley wanted to meet with her. The way Ashley and those with her had looked at the asari upon arrival she knew that somehow they had found out. She should have told them … she knew that. She was just trying to protect everyone from making mistakes due to distrust. Ashley was a good soldier, always on her guard, so Shepard knew that even without the knowledge of who Liara was ... she would not have turned her back on her. But okay ... lies, lies, lies ... even if by omission. _Okay, that's enough of that_! she thought as she reached out and hit the next button and the Pet Shop Boys asked her "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" "Web now thab you asb ... whab hab I bune?"

As the song lightened her mood she thought about when they had first come onboard … Joker had greeted them with his usual smart ass self, "Too close, Commander. Ten more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten sulphur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."

Liara had been offended, "We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?"

Shepard wanting to get the krogan off her and the batarian out of her mind headed for the elevator without responding, while Kaidan could be heard to explain, "It's a coping mechanism ... You'll get used to it."

The asari was heard to say just as Shepard walked into the elevator, "I see. It must be a human thing. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species."

"Well, don't worry … you won't have to be with us long." Shepard told her as the elevator closed leaving Kaidan to deal with the asari.

Shepard removed the toothbrush from her mouth, her tongue raw, and finished the bottle of Listerine. As she gargled and swished it around in her mouth for another five minutes she dropped the empty plastic bottle on the shower floor and looked at her right hand. It made her think of the asari … _you couldn't be more polite to her? You just had to be an ass? _Shepard asked herself. She then grabbed the scrub brush again and began scrubbing her hand. _Why did I offer her my hand_? she asked as she continued to scrub. Then she realized that she was scrubbing her hand raw and stopped, looking at the brush … _What am I doing?_ The Listerine was burning her mouth and the tears were burning her eyes as she slid down in the shower. She threw the scrubbing brush against the wall and dropped the toothbrush next to the empty Listerine bottle. _Show a little more patience … more kindness_, she told herself as she laid her head back against the wall. _You can't let her see how you feel about her and her kind. Not if you want her to help you find her mother ... to find Saren._

* * *

><p>Kaidan had sat down in the mess hall with a plate of chicken salad and a tall glass of ice water. Since coming back onto the Normandy he could not get enough to drink. Between the heat of Therum and the fighting he was drained. Ashley was already there having dinner with Mancini, Negelesco and Greico, when he arrived and so she had followed him over to the officer's table …"Hey LT, have you seen the Commander?"<p>

"No," he picked up the pepper shaker, "I think she wanted to get all the blood and pieces of that kro-"

"Hey! I'm eating!" 2nd Lieutenant Jessica Freedman cut him off. "Do you mind?"

"Sorry, Jessie," Kaidan apologized. "She should be here though soon … she must be hungry."

"What about the asari?" Ashley asked, as she continued to stand next to him at the table. "She looked bad when they wheeled her off."

Just after Shepard had disappeared from view, Liara had collapsed. She had held out as long as she could as she did not want the Commander to see her weak. The human had a way of making her feel incompetent and silly … even insignificant. No one had ever made her feel that way. No one. The sooner she was away from the human the better. Even as she felt her body give out she begged Kaidan, "Don't let her know I couldn-"

"Dehydration and fatigue," he answered, taking a drink of water. "Chakwas has her stabilized and said that she should be okay in a few days. She was sedated and sleeping when I checked in just now."

"She knows the Matriarch," Mancini blurted out from across the way. "We shouldn't be wasting time ... we should be interrogating her now … then show her the airlock!"

"What?" Kaidan thought that Shepard had confided only in him.

Ashley shot a look of disapproval at Mancini, "Dammit Craig! Everyone doesn't need to be told until Shepard knows!"

"Sorry, Chief," Mancini plopped a forkful of mashed potatoes in his face as he turned back around.

"Who told you? I mean … how did you two find out?" Kaidan asked, dropping his fork.

"You knew?" Ashley cocked a brow at him as she put her hand on her hip. "You knew and didn't tell me?"

"The Commander told me before we went into the mine." He confessed to her.

"And she didn't tell us?" Ashley was hurt but hid it behind her anger.

Kaidan stood and motioned for her to follow him to a more private area just next to the med bay entrance. Kaidan explained that the Commander had not wanted the asari to be hurt or worse out of misplaced prejudice based on her relations to the Matriarch. Ashley understood the reasoning but was concerned that without knowing they might have been "too trusting and left ourselves open."

"The Commander knew you wouldn't be too trusting," Kaidan smiled. "I don't think you trust me yet."

"Well I won't if you keep me in the dark," Ashley warned just as Wrex moved past them on his way into the med bay. The mess deck had went silent as the warlord moved past and as the door to the med bay closed behind him, Ash whispered to Kaidan … "Why does she have him on the ship?"

"Well … speaking of trust," Kaidan answered, "I think she trusts him."

"A krogan?" Ashley was shocked, "Do krogans even trust each other?"

"I don't know, but I trust the Commander," he said in a serious tone. "So if she trusts him … I will too."

"No, LT … it's not trust that you feel." Ashley poked at him. "But you are feeling something."

Without thinking he looked down at himself … this made Ashley laugh and him blush. "I should finish my dinner," he mumbled as he walked away embarrassed.

* * *

><p>Liara was asleep, a saline drip being administered intravenously and a light mist specifically installed for asari in this state was turned on over her. Doctor Chakwas was glad that she had ordered at least one for the med bay in the early design process. With the asari sedated she had turned down the lights in her area and slid the privacy curtain in front of her to keep the young men from coming in to ogle her. With word that an asari was onboard and in the med bay she had already had three males come in for minor aches and pains. With no chance to see the asari it had limited the amount of recon being done and word spread quickly that the asari was not visible if you went into the med bay.<p>

Chakwas was seated and drinking a cup of tea when the krogan entered. She had stood quickly upon his entrance and was about to ask him what he needed when he walked past the curtain and looked at the sleeping asari. "Will she live?" he asked without emotion.

"Yes," Chakwas answered, "She is …"

The krogan did not wait to hear what Chakwas had to say. He had his answer so he left her in mid-sentence and walked out. The asari would survive and now to the gym for his walk before the game.

"Okay, then." Chakwas said to the door as it closed. She sat back down and reviewing the asari's readings punched a code on her comm. system, "Pressly?"

"Yes, Doctor?" he answered, as his crew moved about him on the CIC.

"Is the Commander there?" she picked up the hacky sack from her desk and moved it about in her hand.

"No, ma'am," he answered. "I believe that she is turned in for the night."

"I see," Chakwas could not believe that the Commander had not checked in on the patient … at the very least called. "Well, if you see her please have her contact me."

She hit the disconnect, dropped the hacky sack back on her desk and turned on her iMuse picking the opera song _Paristami_ by Shablu to play, _you should like this_, Chakwas thought. She knew that even though the patient was sedated her subconscious might be aware of her surroundings so she chose the asari soprano's voice to float at a low level inside the med bay. She debated calling the Commander in her quarters but this was not an emergency and she had heard how Shepard had been splattered during the fight. The thought of having pieces of krogan splattered on you did not sound appealing.

"Doctor?" Joker brought her thoughts back into the room.

"Jeff," Chakwas greeted, standing up as the pilot came limping in with his crutches. "Why are … oh, yes. Your check-up."

"Is she here?" Joker asked as he looked around the room.

Chakwas pursed her lips, "Not you too!"

"What?" he tried to look innocent, "I just wanted to welcome her to the Normandy and offer my assistance if she … no, I can't even finish it. Yah, me too."

Chakwas was about to scold him when the room gave a jerk. "What was that?"

Joker cursed and began to limp towards the door, "Lava!"

"Lava?" Chakwas asked as she quickly made her way to Liara to make sure that she was okay.

* * *

><p>Shepard had just thrown on a pair of white sleep pants and a white tank top when the ship jerked. "What the …" she hit the ship's comm., "Pressly! Status report!"<p>

"I am on my way to the bridge now, Commander." She heard him respond and she quickly changed into her casual uniform and headed out to the bridge. As she reached the CIC she saw Engineer Helen Lowe also dressed in casual wear rushing up to the bridge.

Joker was in communication with Adams when they both approached and she could tell by their communication that the Normandy had not gotten away from Therum without taking a little damage. "Commander!" Joker was leaning against his chair while his relief, Lt. Robert Felawa, was in the seat.

With Shepard on the bridge Joker and Adams explained that the ship needed to be repaired due to an apparent intake of lava that melted a gear … blah, blah, blah. That was what Shepard heard when those two began talking about the internal workings of the Normandy. It's not that Shepard didn't understand basic engineering but these two were talking a mechanics porn … and she heard another voice join in the discussion. _The quarian?_ Now there were three going on about the gears, wires, timing, blah, blah of the Normandy. Shepard looked at everyone else on the bridge and they looked as glazed as she felt._ Well, at least I'm not alone._

Shepard wanting to look her Chief Engineer in the eyes as he explained how serious the situation was or wasn't, left the bridge and headed down to the engine room ... On her way down to them the ship had jerked two more times and the lighst flickered. Once she entered the engine room she saw Adams and Tali still discussing with Joker on what they could do to temporarily fix it and how it would impact the performance of the Normandy. "You fix it ... I"ll handle her." Joker said. Shepard went to her Chief Engineer and asked what they needed to stop the jerking. As he began to rattle off a grocery list she stopped him and asked him where he could get everything he needed.

"Only one place, Commander." He answered. "The Arcturus Station. They have the parts and the crew that can get us up and running within a week."

"A week?" Shepard did not want to lose a week but then Adams started to explain again and Shepard sighed, "Okay, okay. A week."

"If we can shave any time off, we will." Adams promised.

"Can she go through the mass relays as she is now?" Shepard asked.

"Now? No. But once we put the temporary fix in place? … well, I-" He asked.

Tali cut him off as she excitedly answered yes as she explained what would need to be done to accomplish this.

"Then do it." Shepard ordered and then said to Joker over the comm, "Joker, once the fix is in place head to the Arc."

"Yes, ma'am!" Joker answered.

As Shepard started to leave she heard Pressly say, "Uh, Commander … Dr. Chakwas was looking for you earlier."

"Thank you, Pressly." Shepard looked over at the quarian who was explaining to Adams and three other crewmembers what could be done … this made her smile. "I'll stop by the med bay before retiring for the night."

"Aye, aye, ma'am." he said.

* * *

><p>As she exited the engine room she bumped into Wrex who had just finished his walk. They looked at each other but neither spoke as she passed through.<p>

"She is one good looking woman," Alcot Satake said as he and the requisition officer, Addison Chase, approached Wrex. "She is perfect for me."

Wrex looked at the human, "Shepard needs a strong warrior to mate with … not some talJok."

"Hey!" Satake cried out as he placed the chips on Wrex's table. "What does TalJok mean?" Wrex didn't answer him but pulled out his bottle of ryncol. The three had started playing poker since the third day out and to date Satake owed Wrex 80 chits and the req officer 30 chits. "Tonight I am going to take both of you to the bank. Ka-ching!"

"Just deal!" Addison said as the three sat down to play poker.

* * *

><p>Doctor Chakwas' assistant was the only one in the med bay that Shepard saw when she arrived and she asked her to tell the doctor that she would be back at 07:00. "Yes, Commander … but she should be back shortly. She just stepped out to get more coffee since she doesn't want to leave the asari alone. You know how they attract the males … the doctor won't leave her unattended."<p>

"Sorry?" Shepard looked around the room. "Is the asari here?"

"Oh!" the assistant looked embarrassed, "didn't they tell you?"

Shepard felt her stomach tighten, "Tell me what?"

"Well … she, uh," the nurse quickly moved over to the privacy curtain and pushed it back so the Commander could see the asari. "We have the curtain in use so the males don't ... well, you know."

Shepard went behind the curtain, looked at the asari sleeping and then at the IV in her arm. As she stepped closer to get an even better look at the asari she felt damp and then saw the light mist being sprayed around her. She was about to ask the assistant what was up with the mist machine but the asari looked so vulnerable that the Commander asked instead, "Will she be okay?"

"Yes, Commander." Doctor Chakwas answered her as she appeared around the curtain, coffee bag still in her hand. "She was extremely dehydrated and fatigued … I'd daresay that another 48 hours and she may not have survived. You saved her."

"Hmm ... I saved her." Shepard wasn't so sure of that.

Chakwas looked at the readings over her bed and smiled, "She is already looking stronger since arriving ... Three days and she should be back on her feet."

"What's this?" Shepard pointed at the mist maker.

"It helps the asari recover more quickly when their ill or injured," Chakwas answered.

"I'd ask how it works but …" Shepard shrugged. "Biology was boring."

Chakwas laughed, "You aren't interested in asari biology 101?"

Shepard shook her head no as she pulled a chair up to the biobed, "Just tell me that it helps her and I'll believe it. By the way, did she say anything to you?"

"Not to me," Chakwas answered as she went over to the coffee maker by her desk. "But she did ask Kaidan to not tell you that she was passing out. Why would she say that?" Shepard gave a look at Liara and Chakwas turned up her iMuse. The two then went to the front of the med bay to talk.

Shepard looked at Chakwas, "I was a little hard on her."

"Were you?" the doctor asked as she poured water into the coffee carafe.

Shepard sat in a chair, exhausted and looked at the drawn curtain, "There has always been something about her kind that just … I don't know."

"Don't you?" Chakwas pushed.

Shepard looked up at her, "Is this confidential?"

"This conversation?" Chakwas asked, "Yes, Commander."

Shepard looked at her hands, "It's the way they look at me."

Chakwas laughed, "Shepard, I am going to guess that they look at you the way men look at you ... I've even seen a few women here look at you in that way ... that very improper way."

Shepard ran her hand through her hair, "You're teasing me now, doctor."

"Commander," Chakwas leaned against her assistant's desk, "You know that you are an extremely beautiful woman."

Shepard looked embarrassed, "Please doctor ..."

"Listen to me Shepard," Chakwas said in her no nonsense manner, "You are attractive and I must admit that you are quite gifted at pretending not to notice the admiring glances from others. It's quite impressive and makes you even more attractive. So if you can do this with mere humans … the gift of ignoring … why not the asari? They are just blue men … well … just think of them that way. It might help."

"No, it's more than that," Shepard said. "I can handle men and women liking me for the most part … but asari. They look at me and it's in their eyes."

"What is?" Chakwas was intrigued.

"Their desire," Shepard thought of Ismene Dantium and Lucrenda Galo, "it's as if they could do something to me to take away my control ... Something that would leave me completely at their mercy."

"Like melding," Chakwas thought and said out loud, without thinking, as she sat down in a chair. "That is completely manipulated by them but it is supposed to be quite pleasurable. Maybe that's what you are sensing."

"What's that?" Shepard turned to the doctor, concern on her face. "Melding?"

Chakwas looked at Shepard and then over towards the asari and regretted that she had mentioned it. She was surprised that the Commander had never heard of the additional way that the asari had pleasure and even mated but … She could see that Shepard was not faking ignorance. The truth was that anytime the subject of asari sexuality came up, Shepard walked out. Talking about sex and the asari was not something that ever interested Shepard and while she may have studied how to kill them she did not study how to please them. Chakwas looking at Shepard realized that if she knew about their ability to enter the mind of another the asari might be banned to the med bay permanently or put in the brig by the Commander ... So she side-stepped it with, "It's nothing … Just know that the asari are not known for forcing their desires on others."

"I wouldn't believe that doc," Shepard said as she thought of Ismene Dantium. "I think I met an asari that might have bent rules whenever possible. I'm not saying that she did … but something about her was very predatory." Chakwas looked at Shepard and thinking how a beautiful woman could make humans do strange things for them didn't argue. Besides, she had limited knowledge other than books on the asari. She had more personal dealings with turians and salarians then the asari. Instead she offered her a cup of coffee as she walked over to the maker to finish preparing it. Shepard shook her head no as she got up out of the chair, "I need to get some sleep myself. Thank you for the chat."

"If you ever want to talk or just have a cup of coffee please feel free to stop by," Chakwas offered as she watched Shepard headed for the door.

"If anything changes with her please let me know." Shepard said just as she started to step out.

Chakwas went over to Liara and hoped that she was immune to Shepard because she only saw problems if this asari was attracted to the Commander. As she checked on the IV she said, "Let us hope that you find us humans … or at least the Commander ... unattractive."


	31. Bob, Weave, Clutch

Liara had been up awake for the past hour and already spoken with Dr Chakwas about her health. She had been surprised by the human doctor's understanding of the asari physiology as well as her very polite and gentle manner. The doctor had even been extremely careful when she helped her to the bathroom and was quick in her response when Liara asked for help getting in and out of the shower. She had not seemed bothered by Liara's nudity and even seemed to know where and where not to touch the asari. Chakwas had been thankful that she had studied the asari or she might have embarrassed both her and Liara by touching places that on humans was ok but asari ... well, not ok unless you were having sex.

After Chakwas had helped Liara back into the biobed she gave her a cup of tea and was apologetic, "Dr. T'Soni, I am sorry that I do not have sitruuna to offer you."

Liara smiled weakly as the doctor placed the cup on the biobed tray, "This is kind enough of you … thank you, doctor. Please call me Liara. How long was I out?"

"Just a little over fourteen hours," Chakwas told her. "Do you want the mist adjusted any?"

"Mist?" Liara looked up and smiled. This was used when an asari was giving birth but somehow humans thought it was a standard healing device for her people. The asari had chosen to not correct the misconception in order to keep from embarrassing the original doctors who had made the mistake. It didn't hurt them when used outside of birthing so they could afford to be gracious with the human's ignorance. "I feel much better now ... can you just turn it off?"

"Are you sure?" Chakwas said, stress in her voice.

Liara looked at her stats and nodded, "Yes, my readings are well within the acceptable range. I don't need that anymore. Thank you."

"Of course," Chakwas said and reached up and turned it off. "Do you need anything?"

"Nothing," Liara answered, looking at her cup of tea. Truthfully she wanted a way to contact her family but she doubted that she would be allowed outside access. She knew that she was a prisoner despite all the politeness. She would have to stay on her guard and look for an opportunity to get word to her Theia.

"So you are awake," Kaidan smiled as he came around the curtain. "Commander Shepard will be glad to hear that."

Liara, upon hearing Shepard's name, frowned … "Hmph, Commander Shepard. I'm surprised she isn't here to bully me some more." She normally wouldn't be so vocal about her distaste of someone but the Commander had made her feel ... _foolish and insignificant and silly and ... and ... what a horrid bully_.

Chakwas laughed and then patted Kaidan on the arm, "I'll leave you two … I have routine check-ups scheduled to start coming in shortly. Make sure that you don't bully her."

"Thank you, doctor." Kaidan walked closer to Liara and wanting to lighten the mood somewhat asked if she was feeling better.

Liara liked this human. He was soft-spoken, polite and _nothing like the Commander_. The Commander. Shepard. Even though she felt anger towards her she still found herself listening intently since waking for the sound of Shepard's voice. She had despite her better judgment wanted the Commander to at least check on her. To stand at the foot of her bed and apologize_. Don't be foolish, Liara. If she were at the foot of your bed all she would be is unkind and rude … better that she stays away_. Then the med bay door would open and she would listen from behind the curtain hoping it was her. As soon as she knew it wasn't she would tell herself that she was glad.

She looked at Kaidan and told him that she was well and asked how soon they would be on the Citadel.

"It won't be for awhile," he answered. "The Normandy took a little damage on Therum … we are diverting to a place called Arcturus Station to have it fixed. But once that is done you will be taken to the Citadel."

"I see." Liara put her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes ... She wanted nothing more than to be off the Normandy and heading to Thessia. She needed to see her Theia … to be safe with her people. To be with her mother.

"Doctor?" Kaidan hated not letting her rest but he had questions … Shepard had questions.

He had been sent by Shepard to talk with the asari since he seemed "better suited to her," she had told him. "I don't think that asari would willingly give me any information ... Well, except the quickest way to hell. So use your charms. Make her feel respected and ... with a friend."

"In other words ... not with you?" Kaidan tried to tease but it made Shepard look away momentarily. Shepard seemed to collect herself quickly and turned back to him with a smile and agreed, but Kaidan regretted the joke. He had caught a flash of ... pain? No ... shame.

Liara opened her eyes and looked at him, "Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I have to ask," He pulled a chair up and sat down, "have you or … or … well, anyone in your family been in contact with Saren?"

Liara instantly thought of her mother but shook her head, "No, Lieutenant."

"Please, call me Kaidan." He told her, trying to befriend her.

Liara smiled as her mind raced … _Is_ _this about mother? Is she with Saren now? Listen to yourself, Liara. Mother would never be with him. Never!_ "Thank you, Kaidan. Please call me Liara as well."

"Liara," he smiled as he believed her words. Her face was so innocent and honest he just knew that she was being truthful. "Do you have any idea why he would be after you?"

Liara looked Kaidan in the eyes and answered, "I do not know why he would have sent anyone after me ... I am not important."

_The Commander will be glad to know that she doesn't know anything or is involved herself,_ he thought as he stood up, "Well thank you, Liara ... The Commander will be glad to know that you are feeling better."

"I do not think the Commander either likes or cares about me," Liara said matter-of-factly. "But the feeling is mutual."

"The Commander has not been herself as of late," Kaidan responded, wanting the asari to know that it wasn't her fault. "Really ... see there was a prothean beacon on Eden Prime and she was pulled into it" _Because I was stupid_ "It did something to her … burned some kind of vision into her mind. Between the headaches and being attacked by Saren's followers she is trying to figure out what the vision means ... It has left her on edge. So don't take anything personal."

Liara sat up, "Visions?"

Kaidan could see the asari come to life despite her current health situation, "Yes ... from the beacon. Saren had attacked Eden Prime with the geth because of it."

"Yes … that makes sense." Her mind was racing.

"What does?" Kaidan asked.

Liara took a deep breath and then explained, "The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder that Saren went to Eden Prime ... But attack it? With geth? That would go against the Council not just humanity. It doesn't make sense. Unless he thought there wasn't something in it to uplift his kind?"

The asari was trying to get out of the biobed as her mind raced and Kaidan stopped her, "Doctor … uh, Liara … you must stay in bed."

Liara frowned but did as he asked as she continued, "The chance to acquire a working beacon … even a badly damaged one … is worth any risk. The information that might be stored there could be priceless. It could explain where they went even ... can you imagine? But ... the beacons were not programmed to interact with human physiology."

Kaidan could see the doctor struggling with the thought that the Commander had interacted with it and survived, "It did hit her pretty hard. She was out for over 15 hours … and the beacon blew up while she was still connected."

"And yet she lived?" Liara looked at Kaidan with wonder, "Extraordinary … Whatever information she received though would have been confusing, unclear." Kaidan began to tell her that Shepard was struggling as Liara picked up her cup of tea but she wasn't really listening to him ... so as she brought the cup to her lips she stopped … "I would be even more amazed if she was able to make sense of it" Kaidan began again to say that she hadn't but ... "Huh, a lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process." Liara looked at Kaidan again, "She must be remarkably strong-willed … rude but strong-willed."

* * *

><p>Shepard had spent a great portion of her morning in engineering with Chief Engineer Adams as he walked her through what the crew had done for the temporary fix. The quarian had crawled into some pretty tight spaces and performed "magic" per Adams verbal report. He was absolutely impressed with her quick mind, agile hands and creativity … he had told Shepard that if she were still onboard in another month she would know more about the Normandy than him. This had made Shepard laugh and when Adams told her that she had been wise to bring the quarian; Shepard admitted that it was the Ambassador Udina's recommendation. "Normally I don't have anything nice to say about politicians, but he made a good call on this," Adams said in response.<p>

Shepard agreed, "Hmm … and I think his reasons were strictly personal … he wanted her safe. That's all. Isn't it funny how just when you want to make a person an absolute ass they will go and do something good?"

"Well," Adams said, "None of us are pure angels or devils."

"I don't know about that … have you met Wrex?" Shepard winked.

Shepard had made it a point before she left to thank Tali for all her help and the quarian had then thanked her for letting her come along, talked about the amazing technology on the Normandy, thanked her again, talked about the IES (internal emission sink) stealth system, thanked her yet again, talked about the food that had been made just for her, thanked her a fourth time, talked about the size of the Tantalus Drive Core, and yes thanked her AGAIN.

As Shepard left the engine room she saw Wrex working on his armor at the weapons table and as she walked up to him he stopped, growled and without turning around or looking at her said "Later, Shepard."

"Fine, Wrex." Shepard growled back and as she walked away they both smiled.

* * *

><p>Shepard had gone straight to the gym for a little punching bag workout. She had been feeling a little "on edge" ... her euphemism for horny ... and needed to get rid of the energy somehow. She had warmed up by shadow-boxing near the punching bag when she had first arrived and to her it was one of the rawest ways of speed training … with no bag, body or gloves to stop or slow her hand movements she could push the quickness. But the warm up was over and she had just wrapped her knuckles and wrists before sliding them into heavy boxing gloves.<p>

"Do you want me to stick around?" Engineer Helen Lowe asked as she helped her put the gloves on.

"No," Shepard answered. "I can see you want to get some shut eye."

"Thanks!" Lowe said as she backed away towards the women's changing & showers room.

Once the gloves were on she was ready to work out on the bag and now that she stood before the bag, ready to let off a little steam she hoped that Kaidan could get the truth out of the asari since she doubted the asari would tell her the truth. _It's your own fault there, Shepard. You need to treat her like … well, a human. _

She started slow … bob, weave, straight punch … she saw her mother behind the pulpit … bob, weave, straight punch … her beautiful face looking out at the congregation … bob, weave, straight punch … a smile that made Shepard's heart jump with joy … jab, cross, jab, cross … that moment when her mother would look down at her … jab, cross, jab, cross … and give a wink … bob, weave, body shot … her mother talking about forgiveness … bob, weave, uppercut … and unconditional love … quick jab, hard straight punch, body shot, uppercut … her mother talking about charity … jab, cross, jab, cross … her mother talking about being kind to others … bob, weave, body shot, uppercut ... y_ou were such a shit_ ... jab, cross, jab, cross ... _now you have to fix this_ ... quick jab, hard straight punch, body shot, uppercut ... _how do I make it better ... _bob, weave, straight punch ... _why can't I just be an ass ..._ bob, weave, body shot, uppercut ... Hannah smiles at Shepard ... jab, cross, jab, cross ... _pops, even gone your preacher woman has power_ ... quick jab, hard straight punch, body shot, uppercut ... _just why couldn't she be tormenting you and not me?_

* * *

><p>Ashley had stepped next to a treadmill, placed her towel, water bottle and iMuse on it but had yet to start it up. She was watching Shepard work out and could hear the popping of the gloves against the bag and Shepard's slight grunts. The sweat had started rolling off the Commander as her hands moved against the punching bag. Shepard stopped, shook her arms as she bounced around then she pushed the bag and as it started to swing she went back to working on it.<p>

"She's really hitting the bag," Operations Chief Monica Negelesco commented as she ran on the tread next to Ashley.

"You ever wonder what keeps her going?" Ashley asked as she stretched her back.

"I wonder how she has stayed sane," Negelesco answered, wiping her face with a towel. "To lose your family, your friends? Hell to lose your whole community? Crap. What all those people lost in Mindoir '70 ... Tragic."

Ashley started stretching her left leg heel to buttock, "What was she? Fourteen?"

"I don't know," Negelesco answered, taking a drink of water, "I know she was just a kid … can you even imagine? God only knows what she saw … what those batarians bastards did to those people."

"No," Ashley turned around and started stretching her right leg heel to buttock. "And then on Elysium."

Negelesco turned the speed down, "I think I would be bat shit crazy if I had lived through what she has … hell, she even almost died last year on Antibaar. Helen says that she should have died … Crazy!"

Ashley jumped up on the treadmill and started punching in her program, "She must have an angel watching over her."

"You can say that again!" Negelesco said as she speeded the tread up again. "I wonder if she would loan that angel out?"

* * *

><p>Liara liked Kaidan but she was glad to see him go … she was tired. All the talk about what had happened to Shepard had taken all her energy. As she put her head back on the pillow, wondering what the vision was in Shepard's head, she went to touch the cross on her bracelet ... but her bracelet wasn't on her wrist ... It was not there! Her eyes came open and she looked around. "Doctor! Doctor!"<p>

Chakwas rushed over and found Liara in a panic, "What is wrong, doctor?"

"My bracelet!" Liara almost cried. "Where is my bracelet! I had it! I did!"

Chakwas breathed a sigh of relief and tried calming the asari as she instructed her assistant to get the bag with Liara's things, "All of your belongings were placed in a bag when we changed you into the gown."

"I need it!" Liara said in a panic. As the bag was brought over she couldn't get it in her hands fast enough and once she had it, she quickly located the bracelet and held it in her hand.

"Better?" Chakwas asked.

"I'm sorry … I just," Liara holding the bracelet was now slightly embarrassed at her emotional outburst. "Forgive me doctor, I must seem silly."

"Not at all," Chakwas smiled as she took the bag back and handed it to her assistant. "You should see me when I can't find my hacky sack."

Liara nodded her head even though she had no idea what a hacky sack was … as she closed her eyes, right hand holding the bracelet and laid her head back on the pillow, Chakwas dimmed the lights and left her ... Liara knew that it was silly ... but the bracelet was her security blanket. As long as she had it everything would work out. It just had to.

With the bracelet still clutched in her hand she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Kaidan found Shepard just finishing up in the gym and he couldn't help but want her as she stood there in black shorts, boxing shoes and a tight black N7 tank top. Her hair was in a pony tail and along with her body was wet ... her face and chest flushed. His mind was going where he knew it shouldn't.<p>

When she saw him she picked up her gym bag, her boxing gloves dangling from her left hand, towel draped around her neck and walked over to him, "How did it go?"

"She doesn't know her mother is involved." He answered, keeping his eyes on other things than her. "Poor kid."

Shepard didn't believe it. She had a gut feeling that the asari had to know something. But she just smiled, "Did she know why her mother would follow Saren?"

Kaidan looked down, "I … uh, you see …"

"You didn't ask?" Shepard was not pleased. "Kaidan, when we get to the Citadel she is being handed off to the Council. If we are going to get any information from her it's now."

"I know, but I thought that she might need to be stronger," he answered. "She is really weak and the news may hit her hard."

Shepard looked over at Ashley, "Well, you need to tell her before someone else does … it seems that everyone knows who her mother is."

Kaidan looked over at Ashley upon hearing those words, "That's not her fault, Shepard."

"I know." She said heading for the door. "Ashley felt responsible though for not keeping Mancini under control. She came to see me to accept responsibility and all that it would include. She's a good soldier."

"Yes, she is ... and honest." Kaidan was glad that Shepard did not blame Ashley.

"And also put on KP for the next two weeks." Shepard confessed as she headed for her quarters.

Kaidan looked at Ashley running on the treadmill, "Ouch."

* * *

><p>Navigator Pressly sat down at his desk in his stateroom and began composing a message to his wife on the Arcturus Station. It had been over three weeks since they had left and he was excited that he would be seeing his grandson shortly. The boy had been born shortly before the departure. As Charlie Rich sang <em>I Take It On Home<em>, Pressly typed away humming along with the song that he had dedicated to his wife of 32 years so many moons before. He looked at the holo of his wife, son, daughter-in-law and his new baby boy … Charlie. It still made him tear up when he thought how his son had named the boy after him. The old man. Him.

Then he thought of Commander Shepard. When the Officers and crew were given the ability to be re-assigned … no questions asked … Pressly never even considered it. He was proud to be serving with the Commander … the actual hero of the Blitz … the very woman that had made sure Elysium was still standing when the Alliance ... when his ship, SSV Agincourt arrived. He had went ashore during the liberation celebration on Elysium and he had actually shared a drink, sang and danced with the Commander.

He knew that she didn't remember him, he was just one of many that had raised a drink with her, danced with her in the streets, sang joyous tunes with her … but while she may not have remembered that moment he did. He had fought his way to her and when she came into view she had her right arm in a sling … her gunshot wound patched up … face bruised … but she was standing there defiant … she was singing some song in French with a group of soldiers and drinking wine. A soldier saw him and handed him a bottle … she had looked over at him, raised her bottle with her good arm and grinned when he raised his in return. They air clinked the bottles together, she laughed which he found contagious, then they both took big messy drinks and after the good gulps, she had linked her arm in his and they did a little dance spilling wine along the way.

He was always telling that story to anyone who would listen, "I drank and danced with the hero of the Skyllian Blitz! Me!"

He had also seen the faces that she had saved … heard their stories on how she had made sure they had a chance. He had seen her standing despite the injuries she had suffered and he had seen her stay standing despite the pain … the struggle … until the last soldier, the last survivor, the last person had time with her. She had put herself last even when others might have just passed out.

He would go to hell and back for her. But he didn't think that he would ever have the nerve to tell her how they had drunk, danced and sang together those many years ago.

"Foolish old man," he half-laughed, and then he went back to writing his wife.

* * *

><p>Shepard, after showering and grabbing an early dinner, had entered the med bay hoping that the asari was awake. After Kaidan had told her how the asari seemed to understand prothean beacons she wanted to talk to her. But she had to be careful … Shepard grabbed a cup of coffee as Dr. Chakwas and her assistant took inventory and as she stirred in the cream and sugar she looked over at the curtain that hid the asari. Chakwas saw Shepard look and said, "Dr. T'Soni is asleep but you can check in on her if you would like."<p>

Shepard took a sip of the hot brew, took a deep breath and then walked over. Liara was in a deep sleep and Shepard saw her left hand clutched shut. "Even sleeping you're ready to fight me," Shepard laughed softly. "I don't blame you ... Loopy Loop." With the Normandy on the way to the Arcturus Station and not the Citadel ... there was time. Shepard left Liara to sleep and walked back to where Chakwas was finishing up. "I'm sorry that your partner chose not to stay."

"Dr. Jamin Bakari?" Chakwas looked up at Shepard as she slid bandages back into the cabinet. "I can't blame him … you make a doctor have to earn their pay. He is back on the Arc but I think that he is unhappy with his decision. Regrets … What is life without them?"

Shepard smiled and then looked back towards Liara, "When she is stronger I'll need to move her to the brig."

Chakwas groaned as she stood, using Shepard's arm as a support, "Please don't."

"It's for her safety, doctor." Shepard told her. "It won't be long … she'll be released to the Council soon enough."

"Commander," Chakwas negotiated, "She can stay here, sleep in my room … we can pull a cot out for her."

"Doctor …" Shepard shook her head.

"Commander, with Dr. Bakari and the two nurses gone I'm short staffed … she can assist in the lab."

"I don't think she is that kind of doctor," Shepard argued.

"Trust me … she knows labs ... anyone with a doctorate degree would. Even asari." Chakwas insisted. "I will take responsibility … full responsibility for her."

"Be careful," Shepard warned. "Someone else has been put on KP for _taking responsibility_."

"So she stays?" Chakwas asked.

Shepard walked back over to the sleeping asari, saw her clutched hand … smiled, pulled up a chair and agreed.


	32. Groundhog Day

Karin Chakwas had just returned from dinner and was hoping that the Commander was still there. She wanted to talk to her about supplies that needed restocked and additional items that she thought might be beneficial to have onboard the Normandy before they went on the next mission. As she came around the curtain she saw Liara still asleep but the chair empty. _Oh, you should have discussed these things with her before you left,_ she chided herself. Her assistant informed the doctor as she was leaving for the night that Shepard had been pulled away by the Citadel Council. Chakwas hoped that the meeting went well and after seeing her assistant off she secured the med bay door, dimmed all the lights still on and went to the back room, which was her private quarters and contained a head with a shower, a small bed, desk, storage and a small lab. As she stripped down and into her nightgown she told herself to see if there was any sitruuna on the Arc while they were there. She doubted it as only the turians had stepped on the Alliance space station and even that was rare.

She was also hoping that she could get Doctor Jamin Bakari back on staff since it worried her that she was all the Normandy had. If they went into battle it would not do that there was only her and her medical assistant. She needed at least another doctor and four RN's … but she had to get the Commander's approval before she could fill these slots on the Arc. She crawled into her bed, pulled the top of the sheet and blanket up to her chest and then grabbed her reading pad. She tapped on Stephen King's _The Stand_ as she had just finished Ray Bradbury's _Something Wicked This Way Comes_ just the night before.

She had always loved horror stories … a love affair that had started with her grandfather. In the summers she and her older brother would spend it in their grandparent's home in Alderley Edge, Cheshire. At night her grandfather would tell them ghost stories until they screamed, which never failed to spur her grandmother to drag the children off to bed as she glared at her husband. This brought her mind back to her brother, Edward. He had been her best friend, only confidante and joint keeper of their secrets ... in his seventeenth year he had died in a boating accident. She had stood by, helpless as her brother passed away. Later she heard the doctor say that he might have been saved if he had received proper medical aid at the scene ... it was in that moment that she knew what she was going to be when she grew up. She made a vow to herself, a vow that no one would ever die needlesly in her presence again. Not if she could help it.

* * *

><p>Liara woke up and looked over at the empty chair moved against the wall. She had hoped to see the Commander sitting there just so she could ignore her. But she wasn't. <em>Why should she?<em> _No one as horrid as her would think to show an ounce of concern_. The room was quiet and dimly lit telling her that she was potentially alone so she carefully got out of the bed, still clutching the bracelet, and using the bed as her support started towards the other side of the curtain. If she could just get to a device with the extranet she could get word to her family where she was and warn her mother. As she came around the curtain she saw the doctor's desk and the screen was still on ... although she saw that a password would be required. Zazzy had shown her tricks while they worked together on Illium ... Zazzy ... she still missed him. Missed their friendship. But the krogan had finally paid. She saw Shepard jump on his back and when she had driven that knife in Liara had wanted to cheer. Shepard ... Just the thought of her made Liara ... angry? Embarrassed? Wanting? The Commander confused her. _She hasn't even been here to see how you are, _she reminded herself_. She truly has shown that she does not see any worth in you. A human! She's probably what? A decade or two?_ Liara sat down in front of the computer and began trying to hack into it.

* * *

><p>The sound of Joker singing along with the Beatles' <em>No Reply<em> while in his shower was thankfully contained within his quarters ... as he yelled "I saw the light! I saw the light!" he lathered up the shampoo in his hair. He had just read a message from his half-sister, Hilary, who lived in the colony Tiptree and she had told him that their father was well. He had fallen off the roof of a neighbor's home that he was helping rebuild and had broken his wrist but nothing else, thankfully ... Joker had also previously promised to send her the latest expansion pack to _The Sims Galaxy_ called _Thessian Cove_. She reminded him that she was still waiting. He had hated the game but now that the asari were being added to it ... _Hmm, might have to check that out_, he thought. He would make sure to buy it and mail it while back on the Arc. Ringo's drums brought him back to yelling "I nearly died! I nearly died!" as he continued to massage in the shampoo.

He really couldn't wait to get back to the Arc and see his mom; to make sure that she was okay. He worried about her and when his father had left it had fallen to him to be the "man of the house". He had never hated his father for leaving; no small testament to his mother's support, but always knew that it had been "the best thing" for everyone. His father had to have soil under his feet and his mother wanted to be in the heavens. He would have travelled to where his father was during school breaks but his disease kept him tied to the station. Instead, his father would visit as often as he could ... and he was always there during the major surgeries that his young son had gone through. "No reply! No reply!" he screamed as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair.

* * *

><p>Zazzy had made it look so simple ... but she still hadn't got passed the screensaver. A noise from the doctor's private quarters made Liara stand up and the quick action made her feel light-headed. Everything went slightly off-kilter and she dropped her bracelet as she grabbed the side of the desk. <em>Do not pass out<em>, she told herself as she began to take small slow breaths. _Just breath, Liara_.

Liara slowly recovered and sat back down. She began to rummage through the drawers that weren't locked to see if the password was hidden in one of them and an idea came to her. Some people, Zazzy had told her in passing, taped the word under the desk so she carefully crawled under to see. As she sat down underneath and began looking she heard the med bay door open. Her breath caught as the person walked in and shut the door. She heard them put a code into the keypad and then slowly walk past her and over to her bed. It seemed like an eternity as she heard nothing ... no alarm set at the sight of her empty bed, no sounds of the person moving about ... nothing.

* * *

><p>Shepard had been unable to sleep after updating the Council and so she had went back to the gym and climbed into the Endless Pool. It was no longer than twelve feet but once the soft current generator was turned on it helped keep the swimmer semi-stationary as long as that person swam. For a half hour she had felt the water push against her as she alternated between the breaststroke and the sidestroke. Feeling more relaxed she had decided to check in on the asari before she turned in ... Even with the med bay locked tight this was no deterrent. As Commander of the Normandy she had all the keys to the ship and easily gained access to the med bay. Once in, she had locked the door behind her and walked over to the asari only to see an empty bed.<p>

She knew that the asari had to be in the room ... the med bay was locked before she entered. She looked at the door to Chakwas' room but something told her that the good Dr. Liara T'Soni was hidden. But at 6'2" she knew that there weren't too many places she could hide … for once Shepard was glad the asari were so tall. So she moved softly, quietly through the room ... looking around furniture ... looking on top ... then she saw one of the doctor's feet under Chakwas' desk and she stopped. Was the asari hiding? Scared? She really didn't know and debated on what she should do. If the asari was scared then having the Commander reaching in to check on her might terrify her more so she pulled a chair silently over and took a seat. She would wait until the good doctor decided to make an appearance. _Come on Punxsutawney Phil … tell me if we are going to have six more weeks of winter_**. **

* * *

><p>Tatiaria had been looking at the elious painting that her niece had presented to her over half a century ago ... It contained her favorite shades of blues, greens and browns. Liara had named it <em>Theia's blush<em> and had made it around the same time that she had painted Benezia's piece _Mother's Whisper_ which displayed her favorite shades of yellow, orange and pink. Tevos had informed her that Liara had been found, was safe and in the custody of the SpecTRe Shepard. She had learned that the SpecTRe was in command of an Alliance ship and that they were on their way to the Arcturus Station due to "damage to their ship."

Was that true? Tatiaria had worried that the humans were just using that false excuse to get Liara under the control of the Alliance. What would they do to her? The thought of her Liara ... her sister's baby being hurt ... she threw her glass of elasa against the wall as she buried her face into her hands. Antonina Delana heard the crash and as she came into the room she saw the elasa running down the wall, broken glass beneath it ... "Tati! We just had that painted!"

"We can have it painted again," she told her as she kept her face buried.

"What is going on?" Delana asked as she moved closer.

"Liara is on a ship of humans on her way to an Alliance station!" Tatiaria rose up, her hands now clinched into fists. "A T'Soni under the control of humans! Humans, Nina! If they hurt her ... mistreat her ..."

Delana went to comfort her mate but Tatiaria pushed her away, "Not now!" She began to pace around the room. "I must get someone to her ... but there has never been an asari on that station."

"Another first goes to the T'Soni's," Delana laughed but was quickly silenced by a dark glare from Tatiaria. "Excuse the failed attempt at humor."

"Is that what you are learning from your latest jenda?" Tatiaria asked as she continued to pace.

Delana had been sharing pleasures with a human on Illium whenever she was there on business and unlike the humans who valued monogamy this was acceptable within the asari society. Lovers outside a daer, or wife to use a human term, were called jenda's. Physical pleasures were normally acceptable within a union while melding was dependent upon the partner's agreement. Honesty was a given within an asari union since you could not lie about staying faithful as your partner would know in the next meld ... or at least an asari partner would. This was one of the pluses to being with other species outside of their own as it allowed an asari greater freedom since they were the conductor of that train.

Tatiaria never mentioned Delana's jendas before so she knew that her mate was worried, "Tati ... you know Liara. That ship has probably had a few fires, windows smashing, panels falling off ..." as Delana continued on with a litany of potential disasters it made Tatiaria start to laugh.

"So I shouldn't have been surprised that it was crippled and on its way for repairs?" she gave a smile at her partner as she walked back to the painting.

Delana moved up behind Tatiaria and as she put her arms around her, "Knowing our water beast ... she is at this very moment either setting some human accidently on fire or trying to get word to you. I would guess that they will be begging to give her to the Councilor soon ... Be calm."

* * *

><p>How long had she been under the desk? Waiting. Listening. The suspense was just too much for her and so she had taken a long deep breath and ever. so. slowly. slid her head out to see if she was ... "Hello, doctor," Shepard greeted causing Liara to give a small yelp as she jumped back and hit her head underneath the desk. Shepard fought from laughing as Liara got herself under control.<p>

"Commander," Liara tried to say nonchalantly as she reappeared.

Shepard rose from her seat and put her hand out, "Would you like help up?"

Liara looked at Shepard's hand extended but did not accept it ... instead she tried to use the doctor's chair. As she put her weight against it she began to fall to the ground as the chair started to roll away. Shepard moved forward quickly and caught her, pulling her up on to her feet. "Thank you," Liara said, pulling her gown back down.

"What were you doing under there?" Shepard asked as she squatted down to look at where Liara had just crawled out of, "Did you drop something?"

"Drop?" Liara saw the bracelet and quickly picked it up, "Yes. Yes, I did."

Shepard did not see what she had picked up and looked at her hand that was holding the item, "May I see what you dropped?"

"I don't think so," Liara answered, turning and carefully walking back to her bed with her head held high.

Shepard looked around the desk, wondering what the asari was really looking for when she saw the monitor on. _Of course_, she thought. As Liara climbed back into the bed, Shepard walked to the foot of the bed and cleared her throat, "Dr. T'Soni, I was hoping to have a word with you."

Liara looked at Shepard standing at her feet and wished that the Commander had come to check on her. To say that she was worried about her. _Why, Liara? She thinks that she is better than you_. She then realized that they were alone ... just the two of them. A part of her was afraid of the Commander and she didn't know why ... but she refused to let her know. So she held the bracelet tighter and said in a firm voice, "I'm tired ... We can speak in the morning." _When there are others around_. "Good night." Liara curled up on her side; sheet pulled up to her chin and closed her eyes. _Please just go away_.

Shepard didn't like the way that the asari was just dismissing her but she bit her tongue and focused on gaining the asari's trust. She had offered her hand when she would have preferred not to and caught her from falling even though she had cringed inside ... now she let the asari talk down to her. _This is going to be pleasant_, Shepard sarcastically thought to herself. "Of course, doctor," she said as she went to leave ... just as she moved past the curtain she stopped. Liara peered up and then laid back down quickly when Shepard came back over, "I just ... I keep seeing some kind of ... uh, people being slaughtered."

Liara looked up at Shepard and saw the struggle in her eyes, "Protheans?"

Shepard sat down in the chair and looked up at her, "I think so ... I mean what I saw ... or felt ... it was hopeless. Murder ... betrayal ... no mercy." Shepard closed her eyes as she ran her hands through her hair as the headache started to come.

Liara sat up, "Commander, I have tracked down every scrap and shred of evidence that I could find on the protheans. There was never a mention of an enemy that could …"

"They're called the reapers," Shepard cut her off, her head starting to really hurt. She noticed that if she focused on her visions that this happened. Odd.

"The … The reapers? But I have never heard of … " Liara seemed to go deep into thought. Both Shepard and Liara sat there in silence … each in their own private thoughts … until Liara finally broke the silence and said, "There were subtle patterns … patterns that hinted at the truth of their disappearance. But reapers? I thought … It is difficult to explain to someone else …" she looked at Shepard who had sat forward, all of her attention on Liara's words. This gave her the courage to continue, "… I could never point to one specific thing to prove my case that they had been … Oh, I don't even know how to say it … It was more a feeling derived from a half century of dedicated research."

Shepard stood up and sat next to Liara on the bed, "Did you just say half a century?"

"What?" Liara had shifted away from the Commander, surprised that she had sat next to her … on her bed.

"Does half a century to you mean what it means to me?" Shepard had needed to see into the asari's eyes … try and read her. So she had put her personal distaste aside and moved closer.

Liara couldn't help but sigh at the silly question, "Everyone knows that my kind lives for over a thousand years, Commander."

_A thousand years_? Shepard had heard that about the asari and krogan ... and who knows what else. But she still could not believe that anyone could really live that long. She looked down at the floor trying to really comprehend that kind of life span. "For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night." Shepard softly recited.

"Commander?" Liara watched the black hair, carelessly blown dry earlier and now falling forward as Shepard looked down. For one brief moment she wanted to touch it. But she ignored her curious nature and waited on Shepard.

"I can't even imagine," Shepard looked up at her. "That almost seems too long for a soul to live in one body."

Liara liked the way the Commander was talking, how soft her voice was, how her face had softened as she moved closer … and her eyes. She saw that there was something locked deep inside them and it called to her. But Liara also knew that there were prothean secrets there as well and she wanted to see what Shepard knew. "What do they look like?"

Shepard tried to remember, "I can't … it's all in shadows. I wish I could tell you. Show you." Liara knew a way but the thought of entering the Commander's mind intimidated her. It was in those very same eyes that pulled her in that also pushed her away. The strength. The passion. The kindness. The anger. All visible if you looked deep into the Commander's green eyes. Being this close to them was almost too much for Liara and she had to look away. She turned to her clutched hand and Shepard followed her gaze. She wondered what the asari was holding so tight but brought the conversation back to the protheans. "So what did you learn after half a century?"

Liara shifted under the covers, "All of my years, my studies always hinted that the galaxy was built on a cycle of extinctions. Each time a great civilization would rise up and at its pinnacle it would suddenly and violently be cast down ...with only the ruins surviving. Based on what I've gathered this is what happened to the protheans. They also rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy."

"Like the romans ... sorta," Shepard said.

"Who?" Liara asked, but Shepard just shook her head and told her to go on, "Hmm … What I had found as I dug deeper was that the protheans had climbed to the top on the remains of others who came before them."

"Who?" Shepard stopped her. "Who came before them?"

"I don't know." Liara answered. "There is barely enough evidence on the protheans … I've just caught shadows of a civilization before them." She waited for Shepard to make fun of her, but the Commander was looking at her … still listening to her every word. "Commander, their greatest achievements … the mass relays and the Citadel … is based on the technology of another civilization."

Shepard looked dumbfounded, "Why haven't I heard this before?"

"I am only a hundred and six, Commander," Liara answered, "My lack of years … lack of experience tends to invalidate my research and so it has not received the attention it deserves. Because of my youth, other asari scholars tend to dismiss some of my theories on what happened to the protheans. I also sometimes ... don't ... present ... it ..."

Liara stopped as she heard Shepard mumbling and looking at her own fingers; brows knit and bottom lip pouting as she was mumbling ... and tapping her fingers. Liara wondered what she was doing and then Shepard looked up at her, "Seventy-seven? … Wow!"

Liara looked at Shepard's fingers and then at her, "Seventy-seven?"

"You were seventy-seven when I was born," Shepard told her. "And here I thought … "

"Thought?" Liara was finding the Commander confusing.

"I thought you were much younger than me," she laughed.

"Shall we get back to the topic at hand?" Liara asked, hating to talk about her age.

"I'm sorry," Shepard straightened up. "Go on, doctor."

"I always believed that I would be able to prove that this cycle of extinction had repeated itself many times over." She said, suddenly feeling tired. "Maybe these reapers are the missing link … maybe …oh …"

Shepard could see that she had kept the asari up for too long and got up, "There is more that I would like to discuss with you but for now you need your rest."

"If you need to talk I am able to stay up … please." Liara did not want to let the Commander know that she was weak. She had also found when the Commander spoke softly, acted civilized that she could be pleasing. Almost.

Shepard walked to the foot of the bed, "I'm also tired, doctor. With our approach to the Arcturus Station … well, I will be fairly busy these next couple of days. But hopefully we can talk again once we are docked?"

"Yes," Liara answered. "You know where I will be if you need to talk sooner."

Shepard looked at the monitor and then back at Liara, "I am sure that you have family … I can arrange for you to send a message if you'd like."

"No, thank you." She answered. She could not let her guard down … she could not tell the Commander who she was tied to for fear that it would be used against her. She also knew that whatever she sent would be read. No. She would wait until her correspondence was private.

As Shepard stepped out of the med bay she took a deep breath and exhaled. _You must get her to trust you Shepard_, she thought. She had hoped that Liara would have sent word to her mother but she had not taken the bait. _How do I out think an asari_?

Liara lied back in her bed, _I must stay on my guard and not let this human use me to harm mother._


	33. Spoggoten, Spoggetti, Spaghetti

It was the first time that Liara had left the med bay since arriving and the mess hall was packed as breakfast was being served. The room stopped as she entered and while many of the males were excited to finally see the asari all she could see was the distrust from the remaining crew. Ashley was one of them but she also did not think it was fair that the asari was being left on her own to deal with the jackals. So she stopped making a new brew of coffee as part of her KP ... _thank you Mancini_ ... and went over to Kaidan who was just grabbing a bowl of fruit, bacon and water. "LT, Tentacles may need your saving."

Kaidan looked at her confused and Ashley nodded towards Liara who was just about to turn around and go back to the med bay. "Thanks, Chief," he said to her and then Kaidan called out to the asari, "Liara, come have breakfast with me." He quickly dropped his tray at the officer's table and walked her through the line telling her what some of the dishes were that she wasn't familiar with. "Now these are tomatoes," he pointed to a plate of tomato slices and said in a conspiratorial way, "… the Commander loves them, so ole' Henry … uh, Chief Lawry, he's over the galley," Kaidan pointed to an older man stirring the oatmeal and barking at Mancini for having his feet on a bench, "he makes sure there is a few available at each meal. I think he is trying to bribe the Commander for a better oven. He's a nice guy ... grumpy but nice. Just don't get on his bad side."

At the mention of the Commander, she had wanted to ask where she was. Since their talk three days prior she had not seen her once. She had hoped every time that someone had entered into the lab that it was her ... but nothing. She had even spent the past few days replaying their conversation in her head trying to see if maybe she had said something that would have made the Commander think she was a waste of time ... _Maybe she thought your views on the protheans were childish_, Liara worried. But she didn't ask about the Commander and instead looked at Chief Lawry, "Which side is that?"

Kaidan looked at her and saw her looking odd at Lawry, and he couldn't help but laugh, "It's just a saying. It just means don't do anything that would make him not like you."

"Oh," Liara said as she put a few slices of tomato on her plate. "I see."

As Kaidan carried her tray over to the officer's table he told her, "This is where the officer's sit but as a guest of the Normandy you are welcome here anytime that you come to mess. Isn't that right, Pressly?"

Pressly, despite his distrust, was not a rude man so he stood and offered her his seat as he took his empty plate, cutlery and coffee cup, "Yes, please. Here, take my seat as well ... I was just finished. Williams! Please wipe this down."

Ashley looked over and saw Kaidan and the asari standing at the table waiting on her so they could put the_ blue woman's_ breakfast tray down. "I'm gonna kick Mancini's ass tonight in the ring," she grumbled and then gave a big fake smile, "My pleasure!"

Kaidan whispered to Ashley as she started to wipe Pressly's mess up, "Easy, Williams."

As she finished she whispered back, "Gym … 22:00."

Kaidan knew that there was going to be boxing in the gym that night as the Commander had said no shore leave the first night docked. He also knew that the Chief was pretty quick with her fists and fought more like a street fighter than a boxer. There was no way he was getting in the ring with her without the use of biotics and since they were not allowed in the matches, he said back, "I already have plans, but thanks."

As he sat down across from Liara she looked at him and didn't understand why he was still being so nice to her.

* * *

><p>Just that prior evening he had come to see her and in the privacy of Dr. Chakwas' quarters he asked her to sit down. After she was seated, he played her the recording of her mother talking with Saren about Eden Prime and the reapers. Liara said nothing as her mother's voice filled the room but inside she was confused and even scared. There was no reason that her mother would have ever made an alliance with the turian … none … but yet based on the recording she had done just that. But it was even more than that. It was her mother's voice … cold, void of her gentleness. <em>Oh, mother ... why didn't you call for me?<em> She felt Kaidan looking at her so she focused on her breathing in order to not betray her emotions, "I cannot deny that the voice on the recording is the Matriarch's."

Kaidan looked for any sign that Liara was aware of the alliance between the two but she seemed almost detached from what she had just heard. "Do you know why Benezia would join up with Saren? Why she would participate in the attack on Eden Prime?"

Liara ignored Kaidan calling the Matriarch by her first name as she quickly determined that he did not mean it as a slight but was simply unaware that in doing so he was being too familiar and disrespectful to her. "I don't understand it," she answered, standing up. "The Matriarch has always been outspoken about the need for the asari to become more involved in shaping galactic events. She always felt that we ..." no, these words were spoken in their home. Amongst their kind. In their halls. Had the Matriarch meant for other species to hear her voice, her views, she would have spoken on the Citadel ... on their worlds. Liara honored her mother and silenced her tongue. Instead she said, "Maybe … she must think that allying herself with him is somehow for the greater good. At least, I hope so."

Kaidan could not tell if the asari was hiding her emotions or if this was the way the asari were ... so he continued on with his questioning, "Did you ever personally meet the SpecTRe? Did you ever meet Saren?"

Liara remembered the Opik Dinner where they had briefly spoken, where he had broken asari etiquette and touched her, where he had watched her all through the event and the night he was in her home … in the home of the Matriarch … but she told Kaidan that she had never seen him in person, "I only know who is by the occasional news report. Nothing more. We did not move in the same circle, I am pleased to say."

Kaidan knew that he had to ask the question that Shepard had instructed so he pressed on, "Is there a way that you can communicate with your mother? Have her meet with the Commander?"

The thought of the Commander and the Matriarch in the same room was not a pleasant thought. Her mother seeing her looking at the Commander made her feel ashamed. But she didn't know why she felt that way. After all, she thought the human was rude, over confident and … and … _insufferable_. But then her mind went to their last conversation and the Commander had seemed almost pleasant. _No, Liara_. She shook her head. _The Commander cannot be trusted_. So she looked at Kaidan, "I have not spoken with the Matriarch in years and she has not responded to any of my messages. The Matriarch also does not take counsel from me … So, I am unable to arrange a meeting with her."

Kaidan did not want to fail in this and so he pushed, "But if Benezia could just talk to the Commander. See reason."

Liara could not stand hearing the Matriarch being referred to so personally by the human and when he implied that she was without reason it made her angry. But she held her emotions in check and said with just a little frost, "I am afraid that I cannot help in this matter, Lieutenant."

"I see," Kaidan knew that Shepard would not be happy with this news and he was so focused on having to tell her he had failed that he missed the change in Liara … the ice that had clipped at her words. "Well, I should probably leave and let you rest."

"Kaidan," Liara needing information, needing to know the landscape she was in, softened her words and asked, "Does … does everyone on the Normandy know the situation with the Matriarch?"

"Yes, Liara," he answered honestly.

"I see," Liara sighed, "And do they know who she is in relation to me?"

Kaidan nodded his head, "Yes ... The Commander was not happy that it was public knowledge. But, everyone on the Normandy knows."

As Liara watched Kaidan leave her heart sank. _Mother, what are you doing? You must be with him for the greater good … I must not doubt you. I will not help them find you._ As she leaned forward against the lab table she wondered what Shepard thought. Was that why she had been so rude … so hostile? She saw Liara as the enemy? She did not like to think that the Commander thought of her as the enemy … _but you are_. She told herself. _If being the enemy means protecting the Matriarch then you are, Liara. Oh, mother. I need you … I need to understand._

* * *

><p>Now as she had breakfast with the crew it was all too apparent that everyone knew that she was the daughter of the Matriarch. Kaidan tried to make her feel comfortable but all she wanted was to go back to the med bay. She had taken a few bites of the scrambled eggs, a nip at the bacon and toast when she felt her appetite leave. As she saw a few males looking at her, pointing, whispering, leering, she told herself that she could not stay there another moment. As she was about to excuse herself she saw the Commander enter and she stayed seated.<p>

* * *

><p>It had been a long morning for Shepard as she had spent it down in engineering with Adams and his crew monitoring the temporary fix since 03:00. It had faltered once and she had watched amazed as the quarian had quickly climbed where no man would and fixed it. "She is amazing!" Shepard beamed at Adams as Tali squirmed back out. Shepard found that each time she spent talking with the quarian she liked her more and more. She could see why Adams had requested that she be put on his team as long as she was on the Normandy. As a result, she had taken to calling the quarian <em>Mechanic Joe<em>.

She had left Adams and his team still feeling happy after watching Tali do her Cirque du Soleil meets mechanical genius moves ... Made her growling stop with Wrex who had finally stopped being mad at her ... and now just a few hours out from the Arcturus Station, Shepard needed coffee and something for her stomach. So here she was entering the crowded mess hall smiling, humming and in very good spirits. Part of her great mood was due to the fact that she was falling in love. Yes, she was falling in love with the team that she had been blessed with on the Normandy.

Liara watched Shepard as she stopped at the main table, smile on her face and talking with the group there. Liara could not hear what was being said over the chatter at her own table but it had made everyone there laugh and smile. The Commander then left them, patted Lawry on the back, grabbed a cup off the rack then as she stood by a coffee pot looked over at her. This made Liara quickly turn away and pretend to be eating as she picked up her fork and moved the eggs around. "So when do we reach the Arcturus Station?" Liara asked Kaidan, trying to look normal.

"In the next couple of hours," Kaidan answered, looking over and watching Shepard pour her cup of coffee.

Shepard had been surprised to see Liara out of the med bay and in the mess hall. But she wasn't surprised to see her with Kaidan … as she looked back at the two together … _Superman and Wonder Woman_; she thought to herself ... _they might make a great pair_ ... w_ell, if the asari isn't Mata Hari, that is_, she joked to herself as she added cream and sugar to her coffee. She then picked up a tray and placed a plate of French toast, glass of milk, bacon and maple syrup on it as she hummed the Beatles' _Girl_ ... even doing the sharp intake of breath found in the song. Yes ... Shepard, despite the lack of sleep, was in a really good mood.

"No tomatoes, Commander?" Chief Lawry asked. Shepard looked down at her tray, smiled and looked back at him as she promised the master of her dining needs that at her next meal she would devour two and walked over to the officer's table, _be relaxed, calm and friendly_, she reminded herself as she looked at Liara.

The table offered good mornings as Kaidan moved down and let Shepard sit across from Liara and next to him, "Good morning, everyone." She smiled. "I just watched an amazing performance by the quarian. You would think that with her mask and suit she would be limited but …" Shepard laughed remembering, showing and sharing how she had moved around pipes, wires, and tight spots. As she finished showing with her hands, feet … the acrobats of Tali she laughed, "Just amazing!"

Liara had never seen the Commander smile and laugh with such purity and she found herself smiling in response. But she just as quickly stopped when Shepard looked at her plate and saw the untouched tomatoes. "Is there something wrong with the tomatoes, doctor?"

"I don't think that Liara has ever had them," Kaidan said.

_Liara, is it?_ Shepard grinned at Kaidan's use of the doctor's first name. "Hmmm, well."

"I have had tomatoes," Liara corrected. "Just not this way ... It was in a sauce over spoggoten? Spoggetti?"

"Spaghetti," Kaidan corrected softly. "So you had tomatoes in the sauce?"

"Yes," Liara answered, wishing that Shepard's eyes would look somewhere, anywhere but on her. They were making her feel uncomfortable and almost … exposed.

"Did you like the spaghetti?" Kaidan asked.

"You mean spoggoten," Shepard teased, as she poured a small amount of maple syrup over her French toast and melted butter.

_Please don't be mean to me_, Liara had wanted to say but she looked at Kaidan, "No."

"Then why did you put them on …" Kaidan started but was quickly cut off by Shepard.

"No?" These were words of sacrilege to Shepard. "Tell me who fed you rotgut and called it tomato sauce and I will hunt them down and kill them."

"No, Commander. I am sure … that … she … didn't … " Liara began but stopped as those at their table began to laugh. She looked from them to Shepard, "That was a joke … wasn't it?"

Shepard smiled at her, "Maybe." Shepard then picked the tomatoes off Liara's plate with her fork and put them on Kaidan's, "Tomatoes cannot go to waste but … the good doctor should not eat hothouse tomatoes straight out of the gate. No. She should have pure garden sunshine grown with love tomatoes."

"And do you know where to get those?" Staff Lieutenant Caroline Grenado asked as she sat down next to Liara at the table with her tray of milk, coffee, scrambled eggs, toast and orange slices.

"Oh yes," Shepard grinned. "My mother's garden back in Highland Falls." Liara shifted slightly at the word _mother _and Shepard caught it. _Nice move there, Shepard_.

"Can she send you some?" Grenado asked as she reached for the salt.

Shepard grabbed the salt and handed it off to her as she shook her head, "My mother? No … she passed away years ago. But-"

"Oh," Grenado apologized, "I'm sorry, Shepard … I didn't …"

Shepard waved it away, "It's okay Carol … It was years ago but I can still feel her near me, especially when I'm misbehaving."

"Then you feel her a lot," Carol winked, popping a orange slice in her mouth. Shepard had liked Carol from the moment that they met. They had started meeting in the gym almost every 05:00 and starting the day with an hour of t'ai chi ch'uan. Shepard had missed this morning's session but with the eight crewmembers that had started joining them and the additional two this morning ... it was all good. Carol had not stroked the horse's mane alone.

Liara wanted to share how the asari saw death but she was afraid that it might offend the Commander. She didn't know what one said about a death of a loved one to humans so she stayed silent and took a drink of her hot tea. Kaidan was wishing that it was just him and the Commander having breakfast together and that he could comfort her as a lover. Shepard was remembering her mother showing her how to properly water the tomato plants.

A few minutes passed as others at the table began talking about the world cup scheduled just a week out in Brazil … this led a few to talk about the Alliance Training Command in Macapá, Brazil. As the conversations moved about them, Shepard looked at Liara who was carefully picking at her eggs. "I see that they gave you your belongings back," Shepard said, gently tapping the cuff of Liara's uniform with her finger and smiling.

"Oh, yes." Liara answered, rubbing her left hand down the front, "It was quite nice of you to have thought of my belongings."

"Hmm," Shepard tilted her head as she looked up and down the front of Liara's uniform, "I'm not sure if I like you in this ... or the med bay gown." Shepard winked as Liara responded by knocking over her tea and blushing.

As Liara and Kaidan mopped up the spill on the table, Grenado, shaking the salt over her eggs asked, "So who takes care of her garden now? Is it still in the family?"

Shepard was embarrassed to say that her home was now a museum on Mindoir or that the community took care of it so she simply said, "Yes, it's still in the family. Last time I was there I picked some of the vegetables and brought them back to my place."

"Fresh garden vegetables," Grenado groaned. "Next time you go back … take me with you, please."

Shepard nodded and then looked at Liara, who was just finishing up wiping the spilled tea away, "I'll have some tomatoes pulled and sent to your home if you want, Dr T'Soni."

Liara looked up at Shepard who was smiling at her … "Home, Commander?" She had yet to get her bearings back and seeing Shepard's smile it was keeping her off-balance … confused.

"That place you have your mail shipped to?" Shepard continued to tease, "Or do you get mail?"

Liara was about to say that she did receive mail but caught the smirk … that grounded her. "With my research it is a rarity that I get back to my apartment, Commander."

"Of course," Shepard said, adding a little more syrup to her toast again. "Where is home, doctor?"

"I am from Armali," Liara answered, once again in control and being very careful with everything that she told Shepard. "But I live on Illium now."

"Armali?" Grenado asked. "Is that on Thessia?"

"Yes," Liara answered. "I lived there but worked and studied in Serrice."

"Why not Armali?" Kaidan asked.

"Armali is home to the advancement of both biotics and technology such as the omni-tools and bio-amps," Liara explained. "I studied protheans and so Serrice offered more opportunities."

"So Armali is your Silicon Valley of old and Serrice is your Cambridge?" Kaidan noted. "Makes sense."

"Why Cambridge?" Grenado asked, "Why not Harvard?"

This started a dialogue between Kaidan and Grenado on which University would make more since as Liara caught the Commander looking at her again. She returned the gaze and after a few seconds of listening to the argument over the better example, Shepard broke the silence between them, "See what you started, doctor?"

"I did not mean to …" she saw Shepard smile and she stabbed her eggs, "Oh, goddess … you are joking again."

As each of them focused on their breakfast, Shepard's mind was on how to get the asari to trust her. Trust her just enough to willingly arrange a meeting with the Matriarch. If only Shepard could talk to this Matriarch, reason with her … she could get to Saren. Liara was wondering what the prothean message caught in Shepard's mind truly contained. She just knew that there was data there that the human was missing or not telling her. If the Commander trusted her enough then she could … no. The thought of moving into the mind of Shepard just to see the message scared her … what if she did it wrong. She had often shared memories with her mother, Sibila, Theia and even Shiala once but this was someone who she did not feel that kind of connection with … and she was human. But it was a prothean message. _No, you will not offer that_, Liara told herself. _But it's a prothean message … a vision … a … no._ As Liara struggled with her desire to see the vision but not touch Shepard's mind she realized that the Commander was looking at her again. She looked up, worried that she might have been verbalizing what she was thinking and whispered, "Was I …"

Shepard had been debating on how to pull Liara in closer to her … to trust her and had not realized that she was staring until Liara began speaking, "Oh, I'm sorry." Shepard said over her.

"No. I thought I had …" Liara started just as Shepard began to speak again as well. This made them both stop, smile at one another and then go silent.

They continued back to their breakfast until Shepard said, "I was just thinking about a market that I go to on the Arc," she leaned closer to Liara as she waved her fork towards Chief Lawry, "… don't tell ole' Henry but they have tomatoes that taste much better then what we have here on the Normandy."

Liara looked at the half eaten tomatoes on Kaidan's plate and said, "I am sure that I just had bad … spoggoten?"

Shepard wanted to laugh, wanted to tease her but said instead, "Hmmm … spoggoten."

"Spoggoten," Liara said cheerfully as she took another bite of her toast.

"Spoggoten," Shepard smiled. As she took a drink of her milk and looked at Liara who was answering a question from Kaidan, she wondered what the asari was keeping from them. As Liara smiled at Kaidan it was then that she decided to try a different tactic, "Doctor, while we are on the Arc … Would you come to my place and have dinner?"

Liara looked over at the Commander feeling slightly flushed, "Your place?"

"Hmm-hm," Shepard answered, "There you will have my famous Spoggoten and meatballs."

Liara looked into the Commander's eyes and knew that she was up to something. But the thought of being in the Commander's home excited Liara … she would see how Shepard lived. Not the soldier, officer or SpecTRe but the woman. She was thinking of Shepard's home like an unexplored cave that might reveal some of the inner workings of who the human really was and said, "I would like that."

"Good." Shepard smiled as she cut into her French toast. "Then it's a date."


	34. The Ant Farm

The Normandy was fast approaching the air space of the Arcturus Station and there was tension on the bridge as Joker requested clearance to dock, "Arcturus Control, this is the SSV Normandy requesting permission to land."

"SSV Normandy… Clearance granted ... You are locked in and may begin your approach … please proceed to DB94 … docking bay nine four."

"Roger, Arcturus Control. D-B-9-4. Normandy out."

"All non-essential personnel please evacuate the bridge," Flight Officer Talitha Draven called out. This process of landing was the most demanding and challenging of the pilots so it required total concentration. Any personnel not required in this process were deemed a disruption or "noise" so the SOP was a "silent" bridge upon approach and landing. As the bridge was cleared leaving only the two pilots, two engineers, one navigator and the Lieutenant Alenko … a line to engineering was opened.

"Okay, damaged or not … let's show em' how this bird lands," Joker, as lead pilot, told the crew left on the bridge. "Adams, let us know if you see any problems on your end."

"Will do," Adams called back. "At the moment she is solid. Emerson and Barret are monitoring closely with the quarian, Tali. Any failures or weaknesses identified we will notify you asap."

"Verifying alignment to nest," Joker announced as he brought up the attitude indictor. Based on the readings of the artificial horizon he and his team began rotating the Normandy to bring it parallel to the dock. At the current position they would arrive perpendicular to the docking bay and he knew that the Commander might not be impressed.

* * *

><p>Shepard had taken her place on the <em>rock<em>, as the crew called it, and was monitoring the activities as a turian Captain would. "Pressly, please display the readings to ..."

"Uh, Commander … " Joker broke in, "The tower has requested a line to you. Shall I put it through?"

Shepard looked out over the CIC and gave the approval, hoping that there wasn't a problem … "Arcturus Control to the SSV Normandy … Welcome home! And a special welcome home to the first human SpecTRe … Commander Shepard."

The voice was familiar, someone she knew, "This is Commander Shepard ... Thank you Arcturus Control. It is good to be home."

"Shepard?" The voice called back, "this is ATCS Rose Stuart speaking for the crew in the box … drinks are on us if you or any of your crew get to the Aircraft 1512 tonight."

Shepard laughed, "Well ATCS Rose Stuart … thanks to both you and your crew in the box. And it's great to hear your voice. Please leave your contact information in my slot and I'll give you a call once the Normandy is secured."

Shepard had grounded her crew on the Normandy for 24 hours and here they were being invited to a night of free drinks. Invited by one of her oldest friends in the Alliance … in basics it had been Rose Stuart and Michelle Edgar that had shared all the ups and downs with a 19-year-old Shepard. She could see the crew on the CIC wanting her to let them go ashore and she could just imagine what the rest of the ship looked like. But she had made her decision of a lockdown to ensure their safety and strong frame of mind. She did not know how their peers in the Alliance on the Arc were going to respond to them staying on with a SpecTRe … taking orders from the alien Council and not the human Alliance. She wanted 24 hours to test the waters herself, get feedback … So without cracking a smile or showing her cards she gave the order, "Joker, bring us on in to home."

"Aye, aye, Commander." She heard him answer. "Bird will reach its nest in T minus 40 and counting!"

* * *

><p>The Senator had just been notified that the Normandy was on approach and would be on the dock in just under 40 minutes. Add another 20 minutes for the venting and stabilizing it to the dock, she had an hour. The waiter brought her another iced tea as she sat in the Captain's lounge of the port and she couldn't help but smile. "She did it, Stevie," she said to the Admiral as he took a puff off his cigar.<p>

"Yes she did, Claudy," The Admiral answered, but he was not happy. "But did she have to damage the Normandy?"

"Damage it?" The Senator laughed, "Why, Stevie … She's just breaking it in."

The Admiral usually loved to see the old gal enjoying herself but not this time, "Well, then … maybe you can pay for this _breaking it in_."

This made her laugh so loud that the others in the lounge looked over at them, "Please! Stop acting like a frugal housewife! You have a glorious, strong and quite sexy husband in Shepard! Treat her well or she might find another wife. One that is not red blooded or whose ancestors did not crawl in the Earth's mud!"

"All right, Claudy," he grumbled, hating it when she was right. "We will ensure that the Normandy is back to new and the ship well-stocked before she leaves."

"And you will be a generous and loving wife," the Senator smiled as she took a sip of her tea.

The Admiral ignored her and took another puff on the cigar.

"Say it!" the Senator prodded.

"Say what?" he could see that his old friend was up to her old tricks.

"You know, Stevie," she batted her eyes like a schoolgirl, "Say … I will be a generous and loving wife."

"Claudy, you can't be serious!" the Admiral began to argue but the look in her eyes made him throw his hands up in defeat, "I will be a generous and loving wife … satisfied?"

The Senator laughed as she raised her ice tea towards him and then purred, "Now that wasn't hard, was it?"

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later as DB94 came into view Kaidan pulled down a screen and brought up a live feed of the area for visual confirmation that it was empty and ready for them ... As the feed came up on the screen; everyone on the bridge could not believe what they were seeing. "Holy shit!" Joker said.<p>

"Is that for us?" Lowe asked, as Kaidan stood up still looking at the multi-screen with the live feeds.

"How many people do you think there are?" Kaidan asked, overwhelmed by what he was seeing.

"Oh man … The Commander's not gonna like this," Joker said. Over the past month when she would come and sit next to him on the bridge, they would talk and the one thing that had surprised him was her humility and self-deprecating humor. These were qualities that while he did not possess himself … no one would argue that Joker was humble or did not take himself seriously; maybe even too serious at times … he admired them in her. Those talks had showed him that she hated being the center of attention and yet just by walking into a room she was the center. He loved it when it was just him, Lowe and the Commander because she seemed even more relaxed. Maybe it was Lowe more than him but he would take what he could get. All three would talk about their growing up years, his struggles growing up with Vrolik's disease, Lowe's years in the outback with her family and Shepard's as a colonist on Mindoir. But while Shepard spoke of jumping off cliffs, riding sea horse fish, learning to shoot by the local sheriff and taking her motorcycle over ravines she never mentioned the attack, her parent's dying, or life afterwards. It was as if her memories stopped before Mindoir '70.

"Well, we can't exactly hide them," Kaidan sounding agitated responded. "You better let her know."

"Why is it always me? Why can't I give her good news? … Commander, we just found an ice cream stand! Oh, Commander, look a beach with Mai Tais!" Joker mumbled to himself as he punched up the comm., "Bridge to the CIC … Commander? Can you please come to the bridge?"

Shepard was still on the rock and looking at a visual feed showing Tali, Barret and Emerson not four feet from the hot spot … or standing on the duct tape bridge as Shepard had joked earlier. But it was no joking matter now that they were in the process of landing. They could not afford the Normandy to jerk or shake during the next 20 crucial minutes. Pressly looked up worried at the pilot's request. During landings it was never a good sign when the Captain was requested to the bridge … ever. "Commander?" he said, barely hiding his concern.

Shepard looked down at her XO with complete calm as she responded, "I'm on my way, Joker." As she stepped down she reassured Pressly, "You know Joker … he has to have all the attention." Shepard left the CIC and as she came up to the bridge she saw Kaidan looking at a screen. "Why is my presence requested?"

Kaidan turned around, "We thought you might want to see this, Commander."

As he moved to her left she saw what he had been looking at. "Sweet Tulip," Shepard said. "I guess that keeping the crew onboard would be heartless of me now." DB94 had a "Welcome Home Normandy" running across the entrance and inside the waiting areas there were people everywhere.

"Like an ant farm." Kaidan said under his breath.

"But not just any ant farm," Joker countered. "It's _the_ ant farm."

"And if you can make it there … you can make it anywhe-" Lowe began singing until Shepard shook her head.

"Just focus on a successful landing," Shepard ordered, not showing any emotion.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Kaidan answered, as he took his seat.

Shepard left the bridge and returned to the rock silent. She knew that once she was back on the Arc she would be required to play the dutiful daughter. _As long as I can sleep in my own bed, spend time with Liam and cook at home_, Shepard thought. _I can put up with all the rest._ She knew that for the next week or so instead of hunting Saren, she would instead be paraded around, attending political parties and giving interviews set up with Alliance approved journalists. Yes, she was a SpecTRe and could decline to play the game in theory but … truth be told, as long as she relied on Alliance resources she was not exactly free to do what she wanted. She knew that. If she needed a reminder as to why she was about to spend a week doing what she absolutely hated all she had to do was look at the men and women on the CIC.

* * *

><p>Once the Normandy had been secured to the dock the walkways were attached and the crowd's excitement grew. The dock and the port's waiting areas for docks 93 – 95 saw Alliance, civilians and a gaggle of school children scattered about waiting to see the first human SpecTRe … This day was a momentous day for the Arcturus Station. Senator Varus knew that this would not be what the Commander wanted, but if Shepard were smart she would use it to her advantage. Looking at the crowd gathered … at the port authority and Alliance MP's trying to keep order; Varus leaned over to Hackett, "You will be at the cocktail party tonight?"<p>

Varus had arranged to have the very exclusive Au Trou Gascon hold a party for Commander Shepard and invited the brass, dignitaries and businessmen currently on the Arc. As a politician and retired Admiral, she knew that Shepard needed support militarily, politically and financially so she was supplying the opportunity. Now as the crew of the Normandy began to spill out in rows of two, dress blues and whites, the Senator smiled. _Yes, Commander_, she smiled, _give them a patriotic show_.

Shepard had taken advantage of the 20 minutes between docking and opening the airlocks. Her crew was instructed to dress in their best, exit the aircraft in two's and then eventually come to parade rest. Shepard watched with pride as her men and women marched strong and proud off the Normandy to a thunderous roar. She knew that they had done nothing to deserve this kind of welcome … not yet. But with these moments it would spur her team forward during darker, less glamorous times that she was sure was on their horizon. After all, this welcome would be nothing after they stopped Saren … stopped the reapers. This was her crews taste at a hero's welcome home.

With all the people cheering, the Normandy crew showing their discipline ... the Senator saw how Shepard knew how to play to a crowd. This was furthered by two additional things she noticed … One, the aliens that she knew were onboard were not exiting and Shepard not only came out last but in full Alliance dress … As she appeared the crowd went wild. Shepard was no longer serving under the Alliance but the Council yet she knew that wearing the uniform played to the Arc ... the Alliance Arc.

"Like Athena from her temple," the Senator yelled to the Admiral. "Shepard is one actress … one showman, Stevie! Excellent!"

"What?" he yelled back. He couldn't hear her over the crowd.

The Senator knew it was useless trying to be heard over the thunderous applause so she just patted him on the shoulder and went back to watching the SpecTRe make her way to the podium. _You have come a long way, Commander … But you still have a long way to go._

* * *

><p>Light jazz greeted the guests at the Au Trou Gascon as waiters dressed in tuxedos made sure that they were not wanting of anything. The Senator was wearing a blue evening gown and was greeting her guests who were either in evening wear or military dress. The tables were set with real china and crystal … the décor exquisite with crystal chandeliers and wall sconces. The setting made you forget that you were on a space station as the restaurant had a faux window that showed the Avenue des Champs-Élysées.<p>

Liam arrived in a tuxedo just a half hour before his date and waited outside nervously. She had called him as soon as she had a chance to ask him to attend the event with her. She had been worried that he might tell her that he was seeing someone else and he was worried that she would not call. When she arrived wearing a champagne-colored evening gown he couldn't help but grin and she had to laugh as he bowed. Shepard really would have preferred a quiet evening together at her place; a glass or two of wine then off to bed but ... "I'm sorry that I'm putting you through this."

"What?" Liam smiled, "I've wanted to take you to this restaurant but could never get a reservation … it seems that it is pretty picky about who it lets in."

"Well, it must be lowering its standards," Shepard said as she kissed him on the cheek and then wiping off her lipstick, "they are actually letting in a colonist kid tonight."

Liam smiled at her as he took her coat and opened it for her, "Maybe they don't know."

"Well, then … we will keep that our secret," She smiled as she slipped her arms in.

Now here she was moving about the privileged society, sharing food and drink, dancing among them … Her mother would have outshined every woman in that room with her beauty, grace, carriage and soft voice while her father … _Oh, pops! This place would really make you squirm. Only for mom would you have suffered this._

As Shepard and Liam moved about the room, she felt all eyes on her and it made her put on her Hannah robe, as she called it … This is when she mimicked her mother in movement, voice and conversation. Had Hannah and Pierce been in the room and seen their daughter in these moments both would have been proud, but Hannah would have told her Elizabeth that she was even more beautiful and graceful then she had been.

"Mindoir '70," a middle aged man said to Shepard, "you were there?"

Shepard did not talk about that time and grabbed a glass of champagne off a tray that floated by, "I grew up there on Mindoir ... Highland Falls. It's a beautiful place."

"But you were there when the attack happened, right?" the guest pushed.

"Yes," Shepard answered as her eyes turned cold.

"Mindoir '70?" another guest cut in. "If I had been there those batarians would not have been successful! I can guarantee it!"

"I heard that you killed a few," a woman asked, her eyes shining. "What was that like? I mean I've always heard the first kill is the most memorable. Was it?"

Was it? She remembered seeing her first kill … he was lost, scared and looking for someone. He was surrounded, his life in danger but all he was concerned about was someone else … his child. Why hadn't she protected him then? She could have killed those around him and as he ran gave him cover. But no ... She had failed him. She had watched in silence as they doused him with gasoline, she had watched in silence as they aimed the flamethrower at him … She had watched in silence as the man on fire began to run … but that is where her silence ended. She knew he was in pain, knew that she had but one thing to do … so she brought the Helix up, caught him in her scope and prayed that her shot was clean. As she squeezed she knew that there was no turning back, and as he fell … her first kill … she watched her father die. Was her first kill memorable? Was it a moment that made her a man? Made her tough and machismo … a soldier? Shepard's first kill was of mercy. Her first kill was out of love. Her first kill left her with both shame and regret. There would be no bragging, no first kill story-telling or comparing notes with other soldiers ... Mindoir '70 had made sure of that.

"Excuse us," Liam had stepped in, "Shepard, I believe this is our song."

As they stepped onto the dance floor she grinned up at him, "When did we get a song?"

"The moment you were surrounded by idiots," he smiled. "Or did you prefer their conversation to this?"

"No," Shepard smiled, "I prefer the idiot I'm with."

"That's nice," he raised a brow.

"Just tell me that we can leave soon," she whispered as he pulled her just a little closer.

"I think we are required to eat first," he answered as she pouted like a little girl, "and then I hear that some SpecTRe is going to give a speech. A SpecTRe. I might leave you for her."

"That pompous ass?" she pulled away from him pretending to leave as he laughed and pulled her back. "I swear … if you make me stay to listen to her drone on you will not get laid tonight."

Liam kissed her on the forehead, "Behave, Ms. Shepard … or you will not have your feet rubbed tonight."

"I was hoping for a bubble bath together," she grinned.

"Not in your tub … so we are going to my place?"

"What's wrong with my tub?"

"Are you kidding me? We won't both fit in that inky-din-"

"Commander Shepard," a voice cut in.

Shepard turned to see the Senator smiling at her, "Oh, Senator Varus."

"Can you give me a moment of your time before dinner is served and we both are caught between buffoons and leeches?" Varus half-joked.

Shepard moved away from Liam, "Yes, ma'am."

The Senator took her to the back dining room where the meal was to be served as well as many pontificating moments were scheduled, waved away the servers who were adding the finishing touches to the tables and standing next to a mural of Paris she turned to face the Commander, "Forgive me for pulling you away from your very handsome escort … but I wanted just a few moments with you in private."

"Of course, Senator," Shepard smiled.

Varus looked deep into the younger woman's eyes and said softly, "You have been through a lot, Elizabeth … do you mind me calling you that here in the privacy of this room?" Shepard shook her head. "Good. You have seen things … experienced things that I can only imagine." Varus pulled out two seats and as she sat in one she patted the other for Shepard to sit. "I served in the Alliance for over thirty years and never once did I look in the eyes of the enemy. Oh, I was there in the battle of Shanxi but struggling against your opponent in the stars is removed … you never see who you are fighting against. Not face to face … eye to eye."

As Varus seemed to drift off in her memories, Shepard looked at the mural behind them. Paris. Her mother's birthplace. "I think I would have preferred that, Senator."

Varus looked over at Shepard and gave a tired smile, "Yes, I would have assumed that. But what you have experienced was honest … you knew who the enemy was and who your allies were. Politics is quite different, Elizabeth. Not so honest. The enemy can appear to be a friendly and your allies a hostile."

Shepard remembered the asari Councilor telling her the same thing … or pretty much. To not trust anyone. "I'm beginning to see that … and you? Are you an ally?"

This made Varus laugh, "As someone who just ensured that it will take at least nine days minimum for your ship to be repaired … am I?"

Shepard stood up, hands balled up into fists, "Why would you do that?"

Varus looked at her fists, "For you to have time to get backing … to obtain support here on the Arc."

Shepard slowly unclenched her hands and sat back down, "I don't need to be grounded nine days … there is a-"

"Rogue SpecTRe," Varus cut her off. "Yes, I know that … but you will need funding, supplies and the Alliance brass off you and your crew's ass. How do you do that?"

Shepard knew the Senator was telling her the truth. She had already worried that at some point the Alliance would revoke the use of the Normandy and its crew … even as they flew into the Arcturus Station she had been prepared for them to take it then and there. "By gaining support, Senator."

"You can call me Claudette, Elizabeth ... or Mrs. Varus if that is more comfortable for you. Tonight ... this moment let us speak with absolute honesty … shall we?"

Shepard looked hard into the Senator's eyes, "Absolute honesty? Okay ... Why nine days, Mrs. Varus?"

Varus smiled, "Because tonight is the first night of commitments of the SpecTRe … she is going to be attending social functions such as parties, school gatherings, Alliance brass meetings, business lectures … anyplace that she can inspire … influence … seduce. After those nine days if she is as politically savvy as I believe she is ... she will have a strong support system here on the Arc."

Shepard, not blinking, asked point-blank, "And what do you get out of this?"

Varus reached out and held Shepard's hand, "I was a mother once … My son was a strong and brave man and he was killed … brutally and without honor." She let go of Shepard's hand and stood up. Shepard watched the older woman walk over to one of the beautifully set dinner tables, "I know what you did for my son, Elizabeth," she turned to look at her. "Oh, I know it just wasn't for him … but humor this old woman. You went to a dark place that night and it would have swallowed most people … but not you. No. You came back and from all outward appearances no worse for the wear. Why is that?"

Shepard looked down at her hands … no worse for the wear? That wasn't true … over the years she felt as if she was slowly losing who she once was. That Pierce and Hannah Shepard's Elizabeth was being buried beneath the bodies of those that she had silenced. But who wants to hear that from a hero? Who wants to know that the strongest people in a fight or the ones most afraid? Shepard knew that people wanted … needed heroes without flaws. People that they could look up to … believe in. "I did what I had to do … nothing more."

Varus walked back over to Shepard and motioned for her to stand, "This will be our only talk of my son … Just know that my dedication, hopes and power that once was focused on him is now yours. Even if or when you hear that this Senator is against you … on the grave of my son that is false. Remember, Elizabeth … appearances are deceiving."

"Nine days?" Shepard could see that the discussion of the old woman's son was hurting her.

"Yes," Varus pressed her hands together.

"On one condition, Senator."

"That is?"

Shepard took a breath, "I have two 24 hours all to myself."

"Two?" Varus frowned. "Hmmm … How about one 24 and one 12?"

Shepard shook her head, "No … I need two full days."

Varus narrowed her eyes, "And you will be a dutiful daughter the remaining seven?"

Shepard smiled, "You have my word."

"Agreed," Varus smiled as she began to walk away. Two steps and she stopped, moving back to Shepard, "One more thing … the aliens onboard. Do not bring them to any functions … keep them on the Normandy."

"Senator," Shepard said with a slight frown, "I was hoping that they could come ashore while here. The quarian needs to visit a repair shop, the krogan needs to move about and the gym I belong to has a large walking path and … the asari … I need to gain her trust."

The Senator smiled, "Yes, the asari. I read the Ambassador Udina's report ... Daughter of the traitor … Is she working with Saren as well?"

Shepard looked again at the mural, "I don't believe so ... but she is not being completely honest with me."

Varus stood next to Shepard looking at the mural as well, "We have a very gifted interrogator here if you think that might help."

Shepard thought of Dr. Liara T'Soni being put through anything that might hurt her ... scare her and she answered, "No. I think that her hesitation is ... well, she is protecting her mother. If I can get her to trust me maybe she can arrange a meeting."

Varus turned to face Shepard, "Do you think you can gain her trust?"

"I believe so," Shepard answered, turning to look at the Senator.

"Fine," she said. "I will get passes for the quarian and the asari … but the krogan, no. He cannot be allowed access off the Normandy."

"But Wrex would benefit from the walking path-" Shepard started but the Senator shook her head no as she walked away.

"The krogan cannot leave the Normandy," Varus yelled back at her as she was almost at the doorway.

"Yes ma'am." Shepard sighed. Well at least she was successful in obtaining passes to come ashore for Liara and Tali … as well as two days of freedom. Now if she could get through this party as quickly as possible. She just wanted to drop in at the Aircraft 1512 … drink with her old pal Rose Stuart, dance with Liam, see her crew enjoying themselves and then off to her place and bed. After all, come the morning it had been a month exactly since she had been home.


	35. Disco Inferno

Aircraft 1512 was packed even for a Saturday night … every table was overflowing, the bar was fighting the weight of the elbows leaning against it, the dance floor straining against the pounding of the feet as Girls Aloud's _Something Kinda Oooh_ beat in a new updated asari remix. This twenty-first century all-girl band from the UK had just been resurrected after their song _Sexy! No No No_ had been used in the romance scene of _Blasto_. This was the one area in which the galaxy seemed to share with each other more easily … their arts. Turian sculpture, asari paintings, quarian music, human cinema especially the films from the 1930's and 40's … Some of the appreciation was somewhat unexpected like disco for the salarians.

It still amazed humanity that a group of salarians had fallen in love with the Bee Gees. No one could have seen that one coming. On Illium a yearly convention now in its fifth year called _Disco Inferno_ was held where a few hundred salarians and a handful of humans screened old movies, had midnight roller skating dances, dressed up from Tony Manero to the Indian of the Village People, collected and traded everything Earth 1970's. The convention and its participants were the salarians own version of Star Trek fans who called themselves Villagers and were mocked at an even more unmerciful level from their own kind than trekkies had ever been on Earth.

"That shows how neutered disco really was," Joker cracked to Talitha Draven as they discussed the Villagers.

"I don't know," Draven loved old disco herself. "I think it's cute … salarians in leisure suits and roller skates! And you know that their theme song at the convention is _A Fifth of Beethoven_ from Saturday Night Fever … they love that disco version."

"You are kidding, right?" Joker hated disco … well anything outside of southern rock, Creedence Clearwater Revival or Reticulating Splines was a waste of time to him.

"No … did you see vids of last year's convention?" she pulled up a site on her omni-tool, "It is just too funny and there was a salarian there that had the dance from Saturday Night Fever down perfect! Wait, I'll find it … it's a scream."

As if on cue, the DJ started spinning _Boogie Shoes_ by K.C. and the Sunshine Band which made Joker roll his eyes and grab Lowe's shot of tequila and down it. "Hey!" she cried as the Patron was stolen.

"Funnier than the … oh, what do they call themselves?" Silas Crosby closed his eyes as he mentally grabbed the word, "Asari wannabes?"

"Adites," Helen Lowe chuckled, "That is what the asari call them. One of my cousins became one … he really loves them ... the asari that is."

"He?" Joker had to double take on that one.

"I know, I know," Lowe waved her hand. "There are quite a few males that have joined the following. Some have even gone so far as to …" Lowe snipped in the air.

Both Joker and Crosby covered their crotches as Crosby groaned, "Okay, let's change the subject."

Draven after taking a drink of her martini asked, "What about the Los Angeles Seafarers?"

"Humans playing skyball? Okay. Thinking about competing against the asari in the Cruor League?" Lowe shook her head. "Now that is crazy!"

"Did you see them play their first ever match last week? They played against the Serrice Delphinus!" Kaidan shook his head. "Murder! The Seafarers didn't even touch the ball once … not once! It was embarrassing."

"Diplomacy my ass," Joker picked up his beer. "Those asari were killers out there! Hot … blue … half naked … tall … why are the asari so tall anyway? That just seems unnatural that a race of women would be so tall."

"Weren't the amazons tall?" Ashley asked, as she waved over the waitress.

"I hear that they play naked on Thessia," Lowe teased the boys.

"What?" Joker spit his beer out. "Do they have that on vids?"

"LT!" Ashley shouted over the music, "Do you want another sidecar?"

"Yes but we still hold the first position in baseball, football and soccer!" Joker reminded the group.

"As long as biotics are not allowed," Crosby reminded the group … "and the asari don't start liking it ... sure! But if they ever start taking an interest in human sports we are S-C-R-E-W-E-D! God I hate those women!"

"But are they really women?" Lowe asked as she tried handing money to Ash for her beer but was pushed away. The drinks were all on the house for the Normandy crew their first night back.

"Well they aren't men!" Mancini spit out.

"No," Crosby shook his head. "They are asari … whatever that means."

"Maybe we should ask the asari on the Normandy," Mancini laughed. "Are you a man or woman? Drop your drawers … chop-chop!"

"Miss Prothean Expert?" Ashley looked at Mancini. "No! I don't think the Commander would like that so if you go within ten feet of her … I swear I'll cut your throat!"

"What?" Mancini looked at Ashley. "It's an honest question. What are they?"

Ashley glared at him, "I mean it! I'll ... cut ... your ... throat!"

* * *

><p>Shepard had just said goodnight to the Senator and was ready to leave the Au Trou Gascon and all that was between her and the exit was the coat check. As she handed her ticket over to the lady behind the counter, Liam asked, "Asari … Are they as tall as they say?"<p>

Shepard nodded as she saw her coat being pulled off the rack. She was that much closer to being free from there and as she handed her coat to her escort she said, "The asari, the krogan and turian are all tall ... the krogan are the tallest of the three. Then there is the hanar."

As he held the coat open he asked, "But how tall are the asari?"

"It varies ... some stand as tall as 7' but I think the average height would be around 6'5" or 6'6" ... not really sure," she answered as she put her arms through the sleeves.

"How tall is the asari on the Normandy?" Liam continued as he handed over his ticket.

"Doctor T'Soni?" Shepard smiled over at another guest who was waiting to get her coat, "Hmm ... she is 6'2" … shorter than most that I saw on the Citadel."

"So she's as tall as me," Liam had never seen any alien in person and like many humans was curious about the asari. "What does her skin look like? Is it really blue? Is it soft or ..."

Shepard looked at Liam and laughed, "Please do not tell me that you are one of those humans with a fetish for the asari's color."

"What?" Liam pulled Shepard close to him, "I have a fetish and her name is Shepard."

"I don't think you understand what the word fetish means," Shepard laughed.

"No?" Liam loved this woman and he really didn't want to go anywhere but back to her place … or his. He put his coat on and guided her outside of the restaurant carefully as guests stopped them to chat or say goodnight.

"No!" Shepard laughed as she waved goodnight to a crowd. "Shall we go back to my place? It's been a month since I touched you."

"What about your friend? Your boot camp buddy?" Liam was trying to seem less anxious then he really was to get her alone and in bed.

"I'll call her in the AM," Shepard smiled as she pulled him in the direction of her apartment, "Now no more talk about the asari or I might start getting jealous."

* * *

><p>Kaidan was dancing with his date, Grace, but was hoping that Shepard would arrive. He had spent time with ATCS Rose Stuart and had laughed as she shared stories of what it was like going through boot camp with Shepard. It did not surprise him that even at the start Shepard was a leader, a sharp shooter and admired by everyone.<p>

But there was a moment when the mood changed as Kaidan and Ashley shared what happened to them on Eden Prime … It was in those discussions that both Rose and Ashley started to slightly tear up. Rose was from Eden Prime and part of her family still lived there. She had been lucky that her parents survived but her daughter's father and his parents had not.

Kaidan had taken her by the hand, "I'm sorry for your loss."

Ashley had come around the table and gave her hug, "I'm so sorry that we didn't save them."

"No, Chief," Rose pulled back and looked at Ashley, "I heard what happened to the 212 … You suffered far greater than me. I should be consoling you. My ex-boyfriend never gave my daughter the time of day … but his parents. God rest their souls."

Mancini, carrying three beers, one margarita and two martinis stumbled over to the table and almost dropped the lot but was saved by Lowe. "Please tell me that these are being shared!"

"Everything but the beers!" he laughed as he fell on the floor missing the chair.

"Mancini!" Ashley just saw another two weeks of KP looming on the horizon.

"Sorry, Chief!" he yelled from the floor.

"How long have you guys known Shepard?" Rose asked Ashley and Kaidan.

Kaidan looked at Rose, "It's been just a little over a month but it seems longer."

"Longer," Rose nodded, "Shepard does have a way of making you feel like you've known her forever."

"What advice do you have for us?" Ashley asked, placing one of the beers brought over by Mancini in front of Crosby.

"Advice?" Rose had to think on that one. _Be pervy like Michelle_? That made her smile but instead she just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, "I really don't have any advice ... except be honest."

"C'mon," Ashley pushed, "After living with her three months in boot … you have to have the secrets."

Rose took a drink of her wine, "No ... seriously. Just be honest and respectful ... She was raised by a southern daddy and a minister mother."

"Minister?" Ashley had not realized that and now had something else that she wanted to talk with Shepard about.

"Yes," Rose smiled ... "Please keep in mind that my Alliance time with her was back when we both were nineteen, stuck in mud up to our thighs and homesick."

"Homesick?" Kaidan had never really thought about where Shepard had gone after Mindoir.

"San Antonio," Rose smiled. "She had friends and a guy back there … I still can't believe that it was ten years ago … time flies ... But on graduation day her family came up from Georgia … The Shepards. You could tell that they were proud of her."

Kaidan wondered who that guy had been, if it had been serious, what happened and looked over at his date feeling a little guilty. The DJ began spinning the Crayfish's _Knowing Me, Knowing You_ and he reached over and squeezed her hand, "Do you want to dance?"

As Kaidan and Grace left the table, Ashley was telling Rose and Lowe about her sisters as Joker watched the door, Dravern and Mancini laughed at vids of the Villagers, and Crosby and Negelesco talked about how cute Kaidan was.

* * *

><p>"How is dad?" Toni asked her sister Mel as she entered the hospital waiting room with her husband.<p>

"The doctor says that he will be fine," Mel said as she stood and hugged her sister. "Mom is with him now. They said no visitors but mom told them she wasn't a visitor … she was his wife. No one can keep her from doing what she wants."

"And dad thinks we get our toughness from him!" Toni laughed. "Pierce and I always knew that it was mom's side … The Wheelers. Now that was a hard bunch."

"You didn't tell the boys or send word to Lil'Bit, did you?" Mel had told her when she called that their father had given strict orders to not tell the grandkids. Truth was he said at the house before he was put in the ambulance to not tell Lil'Bit, "she has enough pressure on her … promise me!" Mel knew that if she had told Toni what their father had really said she would flip out and say that her boys were just as good as Lil'Bit. So Mel had just added all three grandkids together.

While Shepard was a SpecTRe, Aaron had followed in the Wheeler tradition and was an attorney in New York while Timmy was working as an architect in London. Mel never understood the jealousy that Toni seemed to have with Lil'Bit, especially since she had helped fund her cousins' education as well as help Aaron purchase a loft in New York. But then … she never understood her sister.

"No … I didn't tell any of the kids," Toni answered as her husband took her jacket. "So the old man had a heart attack!" Toni shook her head as she looked over at her husband, "Honey, go get Melly and me some coffee please … and don't forget to bring back plenty of cream and sugar." As he walked away she grumbled, "Thirty-four years together … you would think that he would know how I like my coffee."

"I'm sure that he means well," Mel said softly as she sat down again and pulled out a handkerchief from her purse.

Toni sat next to her and after a few seconds of silence laughed, "Ninety-three and he is still screwing our mother. And you had to be there! Holy shit!"

"Toni!" Mel was always getting embarrassed by Toni and here at fifty-eight she was still being embarrassed by her older sister. It was true that she had been there since she had never moved from home. But what her sister did not know was that she had heard her mother calling out for help and had run into their bedroom where she saw her parents naked ... No, not just naked. Her father was passed out on top of her mother. She would have died of embarrassment if the circumstances weren't so serious.

Toni looked at Mel, "What?"

"People might hear!" Mel answered, turning red.

Toni looked around the empty waiting room, "And those people would be?"

Mel shook her head as she folded the handkerchief, "Can we speak of nicer things?"

"I'm just saying that at their age you would think that they would be done with fucking," Toni shook her head. "Ninety-three and eighty-eight? For Christ's sake they should just be painting each other's nails!"

"Please Toni!" Mel hated vulgar talk and did not approve of taking the Lord's name in vain. Sometimes she wondered if she was really related to her older sister. It's funny but she never wondered that about her brother even though he could talk just as raunchy. Pierce … how she had loved her brother. He was always respectful to her growing up and he only got better in her book when he married Hannah. Hannah Durante … she had adored her since the day they met. She became the sister that she had always wanted and the day she was told of her death … her heart shattered. She knew that her brother and Lil'Bit must be shattered as well … but before she could comfort him … see him … he was gone. She had mourned but she also knew that without Hannah, Pierce would have been lost … she knew that he had worshipped his wife. She was his church. And because she knew how much her brother loved his wife … his death was almost kind. But that did not mean that she didn't wish he had lived. She thought of him every day but her main focus was on his daughter. She was everything good that had been in both her brother and Hannah. When Lil'Bit had run away, Mel had understood and prayed for her everyday … she still did.

"Okay, okay." In moments like these Toni really missed her brother … he could talk in the gutter with her. But not their baby sister … no. With her, everything had to be clean, pristine and bleached. _Shit!_ Her brother would have laughed with her about her parents still screwing and talk about how it meant that they had hope for when they turned ninety-three. Pierce … Pee-Pee. She had loved him from the day he was brought home. Not that at almost two years of age she remembered it. But she also never remembered a time that she didn't love him. What she did remember was the day that they had been told about his death … they had been preparing for Hannah Shepard's funeral when the message came. Mel was already inconsolable after hearing that Pierce's preacher woman was dead. Toni had hated to hear that she was gone but she had hoped that it would mean she would get her brother back. He had always been her best friend and without Hannah he might just come back to Tybee Island. Back to the family … back to her. But then those batarian beasts had killed him … killed her best friend and little brother. As she looked at her sister she remembered how when they heard that Lil'Bit was still alive … for one brief moment she had wondered why it was her and not her brother that had survived. She had felt ashamed for feeling that way but it was true. She would have given anything for her brother to have lived. Then the kid ran … it had angered her. The selfish little shit! She saw how it hurt her parents and how much they loved the kid. Even more than her kids. But Lil'Bit was all that was left of her brother so she loved her … she just wished that it had been him that had survived.

"Did you hear that dad is building a fallout shelter?" Melanie broke the silence.

"What?" Toni looked confused. "Why the hell?"

Mel shook her head, "I don't know. He just started planning it a week ago."

"Christ! … Sorry," Toni felt her sister's disapproving stare, "That old man is losing his mind."

* * *

><p>Jack Shepard looked at his wife and patted her hand, "There, there … don't look so serious, doll."<p>

"Well then don't do this to me again," Elizabeth frowned at him.

"But you are too tempting, woman." Jack smiled weakly as he touched her breast.

"Not that, you old fool," she grabbed his hand and couldn't help but laugh," the heart attack."

"Oh," Jack closed his eyes. "For a minute I thought I was better off dead."

Elizabeth looked at her husband's old weather-beaten face and kissed it ... She had loved him for over sixty-five years. He was a good man and so was their son. Or he had been. And he and the loveliest woman that she had ever met had given her Elizabeth Whisper … A good woman ... A strong woman. She was proud of what her granddaughter had accomplished … Hero of the Blitz … The first human SpecTRe. But she also worried about her. Wanted her son's only child with them on Tybee Island and not out in the stars. Toni had once said that Lil'Bit was more important to her and Jack then her sons … and while she had denied it, well it was true. Fair? No. But true. She was not only her namesake but the pride of her boy. She was what was left of her son and the woman that had made him an even better man. _Son, I wish you were here_.

Jack could tell that his wife was thinking of their son again … he didn't know how he knew, he just did. But as he laid there he thought of Lil'Bit. A SpecTRe … well, guddamit it! A Shepard … the first human SpecTRe! Take that Lawrence Wheeler! You told his Lizzie that she was a fool to marry him … that he would never amount to anything. That she would regret it. HA! How he hated his father-in-law. It had given him great pleasure for that old man to see the home that he had built her on Tybee Island, the three kids they had … but this! His granddaughter! Not only the recipient of the Star of Terra but the first human SpecTRe. Shove that up your tight ass Mr. Wheeler! But then his gloating stopped as he thought of the message from his granddaughter. She had told him in the strictest of confidence about the vision that she had. Now he wasn't a superstitious man but he also wasn't a stupid man. If his kid said that there was trouble on the horizon … he had to prepare. He looked over at the heart monitor and shook his head. This was no time to be bed-ridden. He had a shelter to build. He couldn't tell the others what the kid had told him … no … It didn't matter that he was treading into the Noah and the Ark territory … _they are gonna think I'm crazy._ He had originally thought … but then …_ So what! I've been called worse … screw you Mr. Wheeler! My granddaughter is the first human SpecTRe!_


	36. Budgeting a Krogan

Senator Varus had not been exaggerating about using every minute that Shepard was on the Arc to gain the Commander support … For the past six days Shepard had been running non-stop as she attended everything from Alliance briefings to primary school functions. The Senator's office had Commander Shepard's appointment book filled from 09:00 to 22:00 every day … she was lucky if she had an hour of that time just for herself … and at 12:00 on each of those days she had lunch with the Senator in a private dining room at the Italian restaurant La Rosetta. There they would discuss how Shepard was doing, alliances made, critiquing of performance and key people to focus on in the next twenty-four hours of her schedule. This was part of the day that Shepard did look forward to as she found the Senator witty, observant, insightful and a patient teacher in the art of politics. But that did not mean that she trusted her … no. Shepard didn't trust anyone and having her guard up at all times was starting to make her feel tired.

She would be even more tired if she had not enjoyed some of the events, some of the places or a handful of individuals. Mixed within the crowds she had met people that she honestly liked talking to and there were two events in particular that had really pleased her; one was the night she attended the musical of _The King and I_ with the Senator and the other was the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB's dinner held in her honor.

The former had made her tear up as the King and Anna danced together … They were happy tears as the scene reawakened a moment in her life. As a child she had watched the old film _The King and I_ with her parents and for years after her father would occasionally pretend to be the King of Siam … or really Yul Brynner … as he would bellow out "When I sit, you sit. When I kneel, you kneel. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!" Then he would grab his little girl and hop around the kitchen as they sang _Shall We Dance_. As this dance scene played out on the stage, Shepard realized that her father had never used that line on her mother and it made her laugh. She could only imagine what her mother would have done if her father had stood, legs apart, hands on hip as he roared, out "When I sit, you sit. When I kneel, you kneel. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!" As she carefully wiped away her tears, trying not to destroy to much of her make-up in the process, the Senator watched. The tears had made her smile as it showed her that the Commander was still a woman … still human.

Shepard enjoyed the latter because it allowed Liam to share some of her spotlight in his world. She couldn't help but smile as he seemed slightly embarrassed by the way his co-workers acted around her and she was quick to move the spotlight on him whenever possible. A trick that she had learned from preacher woman. They would talk about the pressure on her being a SpecTRe and she would say that with the support of Liam it made it easier. Was it true? No. She had once had that support … that need filled by Manny. She had known that he was there and it gave her comfort … strength .. when she was out in the stars. But after he had left her, she would not allow that kind of vulnerability again. That need. Not if she could help it.

* * *

><p>With her days packed full of <em>smile, wave and pose<em> … Shepard would arise early to be at the Athletica Gym by 04:30 and then afterwards she would be on the Normandy for the daily 06:00 staff meeting held in the conference room. There she would have breakfast served as they discussed all matters pertaining to the ship and its crew. Pressly would always start the meeting with the day's scheduled POD and then move on to any incidences, corrections and activities that might need the Commander's attention … Adams would follow by reviewing the status of the repair which was taking longer than he anticipated, compliments of the Senator, as well as the activities of the quarian and krogan … Chakwas would give updates on the medbay, the health of the team and the asari … Kaidan would review any personnel issues as well as the overall morale … and then Chief Lawry would close it out after he reviewed the needs of the galley.

Shepard was sitting back in her chair as Pressly handed her a datapad with the Normandy's expenses and budget as the topic of feeding the krogan was in full swing. Pressly had noted that the expenses around the meals had increased in the last month after reviewing it against the initial weeks of the Normandy and old Henry was tapping his cigar in the ashtray as he defended the increase.

"Wait … did you say eighty pounds?" Kaidan shook his head as he looked at his plate of fruit, toast and bacon.

"Is that even possible?" Chakwas had not seen the krogan eat as he took his meals away from the crew. In fact, the krogan avoided most areas as he preferred his staked out area in the garage and the track. She thought that he really did not like the bulk of the crew, but she could not say for sure. He was a krogan after all ... who really knew what they thought. It was like trying to read emotion of a lizard. A big talking lizard ... but a lizard nonetheless.

"Possible and every day," Lawry looked at Shepard who in turn was still looking at the datapad that Pressly had handed her. She was lost in the expenses to date ... expenses even incurred while the ship was sitting on the Arc as well as the projected budget for the following month. Just the daily expenses of a ship docked were heavy when you looked at docking fees, supplies, payroll, upkeep, and … _how many commas is that?_ Shepard took a deep breath. Every morning as she looked at those numbers she was again reminded why she was keeping a heavy schedule. Yes, Saren was the focus but that did not mean that there weren't expenses and outside obligations. Bills had to be paid and Shepard needed to make sure that she had a backup plan if her current financial benefactors vanished.

"Please tell me that we are not talking … meat," Pressly swallowed hard on the last word.

"No," Lawry shook his head, "That's just vegetation … meat is averaging another twenty pounds. But I just take the leftovers and the poorer cuts of meat and grind them up. He eats it raw and seems to like it. He also prefers his vegetation a little spoiled as well ... That's why we have had almost zero waste in food."

"Are you saying that he likes decayed food and … raw meat?" Pressly asked, grateful that the krogan ate down in his little area. The thought of a krogan shoving that mix into his mouth while trying to eat his own dinner … well, he would lose weight at least.

"That was a sight I didn't need to see in my head," Adams mirrored Pressly's thoughts as he looked at his omelet.

Kaidan following down that road of a krogan meal pushed his own plate away as he muttered, "Well, I'm done."

"Maybe I should have let him continue looting the bodies to pay for his meals," Shepard half-smiled to herself as she continued to review the daily expenses and take a bite of her toast.

"Commander?" Kaidan asked, amazed that she could still eat.

"I said that if Wrex eats that much … then let's make sure we stock appropriately," Shepard threw the datapad to the side, "I'd hate to start missing personnel if we can't keep him full of raw meat and spoiled lettuce."

Every face around the conference table looked back at Shepard in horror except for Chakwas, "Relax gentlemen, krogan have not been known to eat humans."

Shepard without a hint of humor to her voice, disagreed, "That we know of, doctor. Who knows what they do on Tuchanka? Have you ever heard of humans coming back from that planet?"

Pressly dropped his fork … but that was the only sound heard in the room … until Chakwas laughed, "Commander! I knew you had a wicked sense of humor!"

* * *

><p>Liara knew that the Commander was on the Normandy and despite herself she hoped yet again that Shepard would stop in at the medbay before she left. Liara had not seen Shepard since their breakfast together and now everyday she hoped that after the meeting that Dr. Chakwas attended … well, the Commander would drop in to … to … <em>what, Liara? Why do you care if the Commander comes by?<em> Liara was confused about the way Shepard made her feel. She didn't want to see her but she thought about her every day. She thought that she was rude yet she wanted to hear her laugh and behave as she did at that breakfast. She didn't want the Commander to look at her but she wanted to look at the Commander. _What is wrong with you?_ she had asked herself more than once. She wished that she had her mother there to explain why she felt ... why she felt so ... confused.

And then she would think of her mother, the Matriarch. If the Commander were to find her then … _then what?_ Shepard was nothing to a Matriarch and the thought of this human trying to change the course of one was like an ant trying to stop a rolling rock down a hill. Impossible. Because of that, Liara knew that if the Matriarch was indeed working with the turian then nothing Shepard would say or do would stop her. _Then what?_ Would the Commander try and use force? The Matriarch would not resort to violence unless given no other alternative, Liara knew that … _but the Commander?_ If they were to meet and the Commander raised her hand against the Matriarch, Liara knew that she would have no choice but to … Liara looked down at her hands ... _I could not let mother be harmed … I would kill anyone who would rise up against her_, she bitterly thought to herself_. Even the Commander ... I would do anything to stop her from harming mother_. _Oh, Goddess … please keep them apart. Let me find mother first._ _Let me find her before the Commander._ Then the door to the medbay opened and Liara looked up hoping it was Shepard.

* * *

><p>The meeting had ended and Shepard was looking at new pictures of Pressly's grandson that he had taken the previous night. Shepard had approved him living off the Normandy while they were docked on the Arc so he could spend time with his family. Shepard had worked with Kaidan on making sure that those living on the Arc had time away and that the others were also given time ashore for a break since no one knew if and when they would be back.<p>

"He has your ears, poor kid," Adams teased his friend.

"Doesn't he?" Pressly was so proud of his grandson that he missed the playful poke.

Chakwas patted Pressly gently on the back, "He is a handsome boy already, grandpa."

Pressly beamed as Shepard looked again at the datapad and scrolled over to the following month's estimated expenses. "Doctor, are the additional headcount that you requested noted in your budget submitted earlier this week?"

"Yes, Commander." Chakwas broke away from Pressly as she looked over at Shepard. "Do you need me to drop that number? The headcount submitted is what I need and not just a desire … I'm keeping it as small as I …"

"No, I'm not asking you to re-evaluate at this time," … _not yet at least_, Shepard thought to herself. Nope, she had never seen so many commas in a number before and she couldn't stop worrying that the Council or the Alliance … hell, both … would balk at paying their portion. "How is this even possible?"

"Commander," Chakwas could see the worry on Shepard's face and so she said softly, "I can re-evaluate my budget if you would like."

Shepard looked up at Chakwas, "Really, it's okay." Shepard was tired and so the smaller things … not that those numbers were small … were starting to wear at her.

"Shepard," Kaidan called out as he re-entered the conference room, "I just received word that the shooting range is almost completed."

"Shooting range?" Both Pressly and Chakwas said in shock. The thought of firearms being used on the ship was troubling to say the least.

Kaidan looked over at them, "It's a simulation range."

"That reminds me ... the quarian heard that you preferred your sniper rifle," Adams broke in as he held the Pressly datapad of pictures. "She says that she can create a program that would add wind, environment and lighting variables."

"Really?" Shepard smiled. As a sniper it was important that adjustments were made for wind, elevation ... as well as weather conditions when aiming at a target. Everything was important when your target was meters away. "How long would that take?"

Adams smiled, "She said a few weeks at most."

"Well then … tell Mechanic Joe to start working on that," Shepard couldn't help but smile when she thought of the quarian. She saw her in her head moving about the workings of the ship like an acrobat and it made her laugh. "Has she done any performance repairing lately?"

* * *

><p>More supplies had arrived for the medbay and so Liara and Chakwas' assistant began receiving them in. Liara was grateful that Chakwas had given her work … given her something to do. The doctor had even allowed Liara access to the extranet but she had only used it for researching beacons recovered and how to act at human dinners. She had not sent word to her family because she had no doubt that all of her activities were being monitored. Liara might not be accustomed to being around humans ... she might even be a little innocent to their ways ... but she wasn't stupid … she wasn't naive. She knew that not revealing oneself was the most important thing when at the table of non-asari. Even as she was starting to like Chakwas, Kaidan and Adams she was still careful and knew that appearances could be deceiving ... especially when you had what someone wanted. These humans thought that she had the key to the Matriarch ... no, she would not trust them. These were her thoughts as she rotated the Maxalt-MLT on the shelf ... these and the dinner that Shepard had invited her to.<p>

A dinner with the Commander at her home … She had read how to act and even that a gift was required. A gift! That had caused a slight panic for her. She did not know what to get the Commander and had asked Chakwas just that morning after struggling for over three days. The site had said wine, chocolate, candles, soap … but Liara knew that these were generic terms. There were many choices of these items and she did not want to give something to the Commander that she either hated or would laugh at. Chakwas had told her that she would help her pick something out that very day. Liara frowned as she continued stocking the medicine cabinet … _She hasn't even come by to see me. No, she didn't really mean it. Not really._

* * *

><p>Shepard was about to sit back down with her XO as the conference room was being cleared out when Chakwas asked for a moment in private. Shepard asked for everyone to leave and as the room emptied ... as the door closed … Chakwas asked if Shepard had really invited the asari to dinner for a meal.<p>

Shepard looked confused momentarily and then … the light came on. "Crap!"

Chakwas put her arms over her chest, "You did and then forgot?"

There had been so much going on … too many appointments … too many faces … no time to think. Shepard sat down. She had so looked forward to this day of complete nothing … this was her first twenty-four hours of freedom and she had planned on a night in with her friend Rose Stuart. They were getting takeaway, a bottle or two of wine and then just having a slumber party of sorts. _Yes, plans_ … Shepard gave a small laugh. _When do your personal plans ever work out? When?_ "I did invite her for dinner ... and yes, forgot about it."

"I see," Chakwas sat next to her. "Well then, can I take her shopping?"

"Shopping?"

"She read that a gift is required for dinner party guests," Chakwas laughed. "I think this has put some kind of pressure on her … what does one get a SpecTRe?"

Shepard laughed, "Well … take the asari shopping."

"Thank you," Chakwas patted Shepard on the hand and then stood to leave.

"Doctor?" Shepard had been struggling internally with her day of freedom verses gaining the asari's trust and … "Unless you have something scheduled … could you and Dr. T'Soni come to my place tonight? Just let her know when you see her? I don't have time to stop in the medbay ... from here I'm meeting Rose at her daughter's school. I promised to impress her classmates."

"Tonight, Commander?" Chakwas could see that despite the smile in Shepard's face she needed time to rest. Time away from her responsibilities and the doctor sensed that this meal was business and not pleasure.

Shepard stood, looked at her timepiece and then smiled, "Tonight. After the school ... I've got plenty of time to stop off at the market … steal some vegetables from La Rosetta and get the sauce and meatballs on."

"Shepard," Chakwas protested, "you deserve a day of rest … maybe another night would …"

"No," Shepard insisted, "I would love to have you and Dr. T'Soni over for a good plate of spoggoten."

"Spoggoten?" Chakwas raised a brow.

* * *

><p>Liara had just placed the last emergency vial of eyewash in the cabinet when Kaidan came in and asked how her morning was going. The Lieutenant made Liara feel more at ease, partly because of his calming nature and also because he was a biotic … there were only three biotics on the Normandy and while she had rarely seen the krogan and only in passing on the gym track … all three seemed to share a special connection. Kaidan had asked Liara how she handled her biotics, the best way to cool down and what type of training she had as they became more comfortable around each other ... This had led to hours discussing both her advanced training at the Elbio Academy and his at the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training more commonly referred to as BAaT. They each shared missteps with their biotics and when Liara told him about the time she had accidently thrown one of the teachers out a window he had laughed and then shared one of his funnier accidents.<p>

Kaidan, growing fonder of Liara, had not wanted to see her constantly cooped up in the medbay so he started taking her to the gym every morning at 05:00 … there he would do yoga and she would perform her morning Anskrit as another group was flowing in t'ai chi ch'uan … Ashley was running on the treadmill and as the krogan walked the track. Kaidan had tried to perform some of the positions of Anskrit but there were holds that were just impossible for him and so he would laugh and go back to his Iyengar yoga. The longer he spent with Liara the more he honestly liked her. She was quiet, soft-spoken and even-tempered like him.

"Good morning again," he smiled at her as he placed the empty container of Maxalt-MLT on a counter.

"Good morning, Kaidan," Liara looked past him hoping … then frowned slightly.

Kaidan had looked over at Chakwas' assistant to greet her and request a re-fill, so he had missed the look.

Liara, finished with the re-stocking, went to Chakwas' desk and started back on her gift-giving research. She was so lost in her mission that she did not really hear Kaidan when he asked, "Are you doing more research on the beacons?"

"Beacons?" Liara rejected the item on her screen because she thought purple did not match the Commander.

As Kaidan moved around the desk he saw … "Candles?"

Liara closed out the screen, "It's for a gift."

"Gift?" Kaidan sat across from her. "Is it someone's birthday? The doctor's?"

Liara could see that he was beginning to worry, "No … Nothing like that. It's for the Commander."

"The Commander?" Kaidan then remembered the invitation that Shepard had made to Liara and he smiled. When he had heard Shepard invite Liara to her place for dinner he had at first felt jealous. It was a quick moment but it had happened … he wanted to see where the Commander lived, what she liked in way of decorations, furnishings, art … how she cooked. To be alone with her. But his jealousy quickly vanished as he realized that she was trying to get the asari to trust her … the invitation extended like a chess piece moved across the board. No … he would not be jealous of an invitation made out of necessity to manipulate. "Oh, yes. Dinner at her place."

"Yes," Liara answered. "I need to bring something but I am not sure what is appropriate."

"Gifts are best when they come from the heart," Kaidan smiled as he pulled his seat around next to her and then brought the screen back up, "or at least something that the recipient would like. So, let's see what your choices are."


	37. Boutique & Ballet

Sounds of the Middle East … percussions with classical instruments and the voice of Ofra Haza singing sadly of a little girl looking for her mother's world came together for _Fatamorgana_ as Shepard tasted her marinara sauce and Rose Stuart carried in the two wine glasses from the sitting area. It had been a nice day for Shepard as she spent it with her old friend ... shopping, a quick bite at the Thirsty Turtle, more shopping and then home to prepare the dinner party. All of this after stopping at the Galileo Elementary School for Rose's eleven year old daughter, Lerato.

At the school, Shepard had worn her Alliance uniform just to impress the class mates as she shared what it was like on the Citadel. The children were more interested in the aliens … _for real_ … _in person_! They were inquisitive, questioning and many thought of the aliens as E.T. … friendly, cute (especially the volus _cause they're short_) and playful. Shepard had laughed as she remembered how she felt upon seeing Beast and wished that she'd brought along the asari and quarian. But then as some of the children started asking questions such as "Are there aliens that suck out your brain?" … "Do the krogans really have four balls?" … "My momma says all asari are strippers, is that true?" … "If the quarians can't be outside of suits … then they don't get naked … uhm, then they can't take baths … so they stink, right?" … Scratch that, Shepard was really glad that they hadn't come. By the end of the day she had almost wished that she hadn't as well.

"I swear it felt like I was in a classroom filled with my childhood friends!" Shepard said as she spooned out more sauce and held it out to Rose, "The boy who asked if elcor ate peanuts reminded me of a friend named Ty … he even had scuffed jeans at the knees." Shepard thought of Ty falling off his bike yet again and gave a slight frown, "Ty."

Rose after blowing on the sauce, tasted it and smiled as she still held the two empty wine glasses, "I must say that there were a few questions that made me and Mrs. Baylor shake our heads on. But you did great … except on that one question."

Shepard dropped the spoon on the spoon rest, reached over to the spice rack, pulled out the dry oregano and then stopped, "What question?"

"Do asari have boy things?" Rose laughed, placing the glasses on the counter. "I have never seen you turn so many shades of red when that boy asked you that."

Shepard shook her head as she opened the spice bottle and added a dash of oregano to her sauce, "I admit … I swallowed my gum on that one."

"Serves you right ... You know that chewing gum in class is forbidden," Rose responded as she pulled out another bottle of wine.

"We finished that other bottle already?" They had been sitting, drinking wine and laughing about their buddy Michelle, discussing Rose's job on the Arc, Shepard's new life as a SpecTRe, how Rose's daughter was enjoying life on a space station and what was going on in both Eden Prime and Mindoir. Shepard had avoided talking about what her current mission was as she really just wanted to enjoy the evening with her friend ... Enjoy it because it might never happen again.

"It was just half a bottle," Rose answered, as she started to laugh yet again at the image of Shepard standing there all red-faced in a room of pre-teens. She knew that she would have died of embarrassment had that been her but it wasn't ... instead she had struggled to not laugh as she saw her friend, Commander Shepard, turn twenty shades of red. Struggled to not laugh until she and the teacher were in the hallway. There they both laughed as Shepard stumbled over the question.

Shepard seeing her struggle with the cork amidst her laughter placed the lid back on the pot and grabbed the wine bottle. "Here, friend … let me do that before you wet on yourself."

"Sorry," Rose continued to laugh as Shepard began to open it. "It was just so funny! You all red-faced and speechless!"

Shepard couldn't believe how hard her friend was laughing, "I'm glad that you are enjoying yourself at my expense."

"It's not that," Rose began to get back control of herself, "okay, maybe a little …"

"A little?" Shepard knew that wasn't the truth.

"Okay, it's true," Rose conceded. "But you have to admit that normally I would have been the one mortified … not you."

It was true. Rose was very conservative by nature and talk about sex of any kind could make her blush. She preferred polite conversation and it was just her luck to go through boot camp with both Michelle Edgar and Shepard … "I hear that Michelle is dating someone new?" Shepard asked.

Rose's laughing stopped as she began to frown, "Bleh! Let's not talk about that."

"Not a wise choice?" Shepard asked as she began to uncork the bottle.

Rose scrunched up her nose and then answered, "I was raised to believe that if you can't say anything nice … don't!"

Shepard midway in the uncorking process stopped, "Come on, Rosie."

Rose went over to her purse and pulled out her lipstick, "Did you see that skyball game between us and the asari?"

That was Rose. She would not say too unkind or harsh of a word about another person. Shepard went back to opening the bottle, "I don't watch skyball. I prefer baseball myself … or hockey."

"No?" Rose was just about to tell her friend that skyball was taking over when the doorbell sounded … or really a clap of thunder followed by the quick sound of rain. "I can't believe you use thunder as your door chime!" Rose jumped.

"It reminds me of the storms I grew up with," Shepard smiled as she removed her apron, turned down the iMuse and clicked her faux window in the living room from daytime to nighttime Paris. "Now, can you please get the door while I change?"

Rose put her lipstick back in her purse as Shepard slid the bedroom door closed … She had been looking forward to meeting an asari. She had never once in all of her career … or life … seen an alien in person and was both excited and nervous. She carefully checked her face in the mirror next to the front door, brushed down her dress with her hands, took a deep breath and then smiled as she opened it.

* * *

><p>Liara had been nervous from the moment that Chakwas had returned to the med bay and informed her that Shepard's dinner party was that very evening. She had felt a slight panic as she thought about not only what gift she would bring but also what she would wear. All of her clothes were for Therum and even her casual clothes that she had brought were better suited for hiking. Chakwas had seen her panic and had told her to not worry ... they would find a dress on the Arc. Well, not <em>they<em> since Chakwas had only planned on taking Liara shopping after her morning duties. Dress shopping, however, was not a quick hunt ... So Chakwas called Kaidan and asked if he could take Liara dress shopping.

"Me?" Kaidan was planning on spending the afternoon with Grace at the theater.

"I have appointments all this morning," Chakwas explained, "and Liara trusts you ... Just take her to Gwendolyn's Boutique , I'll give you the address and you can put the charge on my account."

Kaidan could see that there was no getting out of this trip and so he had called Grace and asked her to meet him and Liara at the shop. As the two exited the Normandy he had not been prepared for the looks that they received as they moved through the Arc. Adams had told him his experience when he had brought the quarian shopping for upgrades but the inappropriate looks that the asari was receiving … _Why couldn't the doctor get someone else_, he had thought to himself as two males rubbernecked as they passed. He had hoped that Liara was not noticing the looks around them. Praying, really, as he found it embarrassing.

Liara was noticing and was not surprised as her cousin, Sibila, had already told her how human males were extremely aroused by their kind. What Liara had not expected was the way that the females were looking at her … It was not a look of desire but distrust. As the two waited outside the boutique for Kaidan's girlfriend she had asked him why the females were looking at her that way. When he explained that they were jealous of her she did not understand. Kaidan tried his best to explain what that meant and when Grace appeared he even pulled her in … As Grace explained how a woman might feel around Liara being _so exotic and alien_ that it would cause her to worry that her _husband or boyfriend might stray_ … Liara was almost offended. She saw no males, or females for that matter, that she desired … _I would no more desire their mate than their lack of years_, she had blurted out_._ When she shared her distaste at the thought of being with a human, it had made Grace smile as she was worried Liara might like Kaidan and it made Kaidan smile … well, because he had worried that Liara might like the Commander.

He wasn't sure but he thought that he had sensed attraction from Liara for the Commander at the breakfast they had shared. It wasn't anything that was said, but more on how she had looked at Shepard. Kaidan had tried to see if Shepard had returned the look but he had seen nothing in the Commander's actions that spoke of desire … or so he had hoped. Now as Liara seemed so appalled at the idea he breathed easier. He was even happier when Liara picked a white dress that fell just below her knees; sleeves just passed her elbows and a v-neck that revealed nothing. Liara had done a little research on what was considered human appropriate for a dinner party and knew that the dress was perfect. Grace upon seeing Liara model it exclaimed that the Commander would take it off her the minute that she saw it, which embarrassed both Liara and Kaidan. When Grace realized how that sounded she had blushed herself, "I meant … she will want the dress herself. It is very chic."

Liara had found Grace to be perfect for Kaidan and had enjoyed shopping with them. Liara couldn't help but trust Kaidan as he was always telling her what to do in order to fit in. He was not aggressive or forward in his approach with her and she had grown to rely on his guidance in all things Normandy. That trust was shown even more when she had shown him her gift and asked if it was appropriate. He had looked at it and smiled as he told her it was both "beautiful and perfect_" _… even taking her to another shop after the boutique to buy an item that would add to it, "I think that Shepard will be very proud to receive this." In his response, he had made her more confident in her decision.

Now as Liara stood just outside the Commander's home she was looking at the gift worried. _What if she does not like this?_ She asked herself. _Oh, Liara … you should have just bought a candle or chocolates like that article said._ She wanted to tell Chakwas that her gift was wrong and that she needed to go to a store that would … and then the door opened. She took a deep breath, clutched the gift and hoped that the Commander liked it as the door was opening.

Liara, a mix of excitement and apprehension, was quickly disappointed upon seeing an unknown female in place of the Commander. But that unknown female, Rose, was not disappointed ... No, on the contrary. She was fascinated as the asari came into view and knew that Liara would be either blue or purple in complexion and tall. _It was true!_ Rose thought excitedly to herself. Liara was a blue shade and stood over half a foot taller than her, making her glad that she was at least wearing 3" heels. But with her fascination she was not saying anything to either the asari or the older woman with her.

Chakwas, having just spent the last hour watching Liara get stares on the Arc, quickly recognized that Rose was stunned so she pretended to be unsure of the address and cheerfully asked, "Good evening, is this the home of Commander Shepard?"

Rose looked at the older woman as she was brought back to reality and welcomed the two, "Oh, yes … please come in."

As they entered the apartment, Chakwas commented on the amount of people in the tube as Liara looked to see if Shepard was in view. "The Arc seems to have increased in population. Getting a seat would have been impossible if two Alliance soldiers had not stood for Liara and me."

Rose said that she had also noticed the increase in population and how it was making the transportation more challenging, as she kept trying to sneak peeks at Liara's head without being too obvious about it, "Yes … I believe that the news reported another two thousand as a result of growth in the labs ... labs that have sprung up here recently ... as well as the Alliance. Personally, I wish that the station had remained just a military station."

"That does seem to be a debate I hear often," Chakwas said as she removed her coat. "But with military personnel comes families … which means schools, entertainment, shopping. The Arc is becoming a small city and that carries costs. The Alliance must have determined that if they rented out areas and …"

"Taxed …" Rose nodded. "It always comes back to money. That's why Shepard is being run ragged … everyone must be paid."

"Yes," Chakwas nodded. "Speaking of the Commander ... I can see that she needs to rest."

Liara looked at Rose and asked, "Is the Commander here?"

Rose jumped slightly and then smiled a little embarrassed, "Oh, yes. Shepard will be right out … she wanted to freshen up. I'm afraid that while she was cooking, I was not really being much help so when you arrived she ... well ... I'm Rose Stuart."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Rose," Chakwas said as she shook her hand, "I'm Karin Chakwas and this is Liara T'Soni."

After shaking Chakwas hand, Rose extended her hand to the asari ... Liara looked at her hand and not wanting to seem rude or offend anyone in the Commander's home she took the hand and just followed Rose's lead, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Rose Stuart."

"It's nice to meet both of you," Rose smiled as she took their coats and put them on the hanger by the door.

Chakwas having released her coat, placed her gift, a bottle of Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin champagne, down on the counter and smiled as Liara carefully placed her gift next to it. "She is going to love it, Liara." Chakwas assured her.

"I hope that she does," Liara said as she looked at it. She had started to worry yet again that her gift was silly … silly even though both Kaidan and Dr. Chakwas had said that the Commander would love it. Now as she looked at it sitting on the counter she wasn't so sure. Maybe she could slip it in her jacket but then she would not have any gift … _Stop it, Liara. Dr. Chakwas says that she will love it … oh, Goddess! Don't let her hate it_.

* * *

><p>Shepard was sliding into a blue dress when she heard the party slowly moving towards the sitting area. This evening was important … she had to gain the asari's trust. Shepard knew that Saren could be anywhere and if Liara had a way to locate the Matriarch then maybe, just maybe, they could use her to locate Saren. Without her help ... without a way at least to the Matriarch, Shepard knew how hopeless finding Saren would be. The galaxy was just too vast. Saren had too many allies. This knowledge made Shepard toss and turn at night as the visions crept in ... She had woken a few nights with a nose bleed and it had scared her. The feeling of hopelessness was even more heavy late at night as she laid in bed. No, Liara had to help if they were to succeed. She saw no other way.<p>

As she adjusted the straps she heard Liara ask about her and it made her stop … How far would Shepard go to get that information? To get the asari to arrange a meeting? As she looked at her bed she felt her throat tighten, _no … let's hope that it won't lead there_.It was better than bullets but she didn't think she could do that ... not with an asari. Shepard looked at her Star of Terra on her jacket in the closet and frowned. _Is it more honorable to kill or to seduce for peace?_ she bitterly thought and then headed into the bathroom. She knew that she would never use torture to get Liara to help them. But sex? She hoped she wouldn't have to. _Liara, please trust me … _she thought as she began to brush her hair. As Shepard looked at her reflection she whispered, "Don't screw this up … you must make her trust you."

* * *

><p>As Shepard battled with herself in the bathroom, Rose told Liara and Chakwas that "Shepard has really been looking forward to this dinner all day."<p>

"As have we," Chakwas smiled, as both her and Liara sat down on the couch.

"Shepard says that you are a scientist and exceptionally smart," Rose smiled at Liara as she turned the iMuse and Aretha Franklin moaning how she had never loved a man down a notch.

_Had she?_ Liara almost blushed at the thought that Shepard would speak of her … at least in that way. "Yes … I have studied bioengineering and environmental sciences as well as anthropology with my later studies focused on the protheans."

"The protheans?" Rose knew very little about the protheans and so instead of showing just how ignorant of the subject she was, well she diverted the conversation, "Oh, how rude of me, would either of you like a glass of wine? Or water? I think Shepard even made sweet tea."

Chakwas confessed that she was hoping for another glass of the Timbersome Vineyard wine that Shepard had served at her last dinner party. Liara, not wanting to embarrass herself, smiled and said that a glass of wine would be nice prompting Rose to go to the kitchen for glasses and the wine. And thus the protheans were forgotten.

While they waited, Liara listened to the music as she sat looking around the sitting area. Truth was that she had started taking in everything from the moment that the door opened. She quickly took note of the contrast between the steel ceilings and the dark hardwood floors … floors that she knew hid steel underneath as well. The kitchen to the right of the entrance was stainless steel, dark wood and separated from the entrance only by a kitchen counter with three stainless steel barstools with white cushions in front of it.

Moving farther in, Liara had seen the small rectangle dining table just big enough to accommodate four people and made out of reclaimed cedar by Grandpa Jack. The four armless chairs pushed up to it matched the barstools in design. Liara thought that the white rose floral arrangement, small chandelier and the table setting with Shepard's Waterford china was pretty. But she also couldn't help but notice how much smaller the table was from the dining table in her Armali home … in fact her bedroom was twice as large as Shepard's apartment … As she looked around she saw how it was even smaller than the place she had shared with Nicia in Serrice … but she found the open living area and appearance even more pleasing than that apartment. Not that her old place with Nicia wasn't nice but this was where the Commander lived.

The apartment walls were off-white except for the wall that was between the sitting area and the bedroom on the right side of the room. This wall was dark, mossy green with a small white armless sectional couch that had throw pillows placed against it and five canvas works by Lena Karpinsky called Ballet Sinfonietta hung on it. Rose, pointing out the pieces to Liara, had explained that Shepard took ballet growing up and loved it … _Ballet?_ Liara was surprised at that revelation. The asari had appreciated the human form of dance called ballet, although they saw it as a little rudimentary in comparison to their dances. Sibila had loved how it showed humans could be graceful and had taken Liara to see the ballet _Giselle_ as performed by Lisa Makorova, a prima ballerina compared to the great Eva Evdokimova, on Illium. To think that the Commander could dance like that female on Illium caught her quite by surprise ... This thought would have made Shepard laugh, of course. The thought of ever being compared to the ballerina Lisa Makorova ... a ballerina that Shepard greatly admired, while a wonderful compliment or thought, was also far from the truth. Shepard had shown some talent for the art but not enough to be a lead in any real ballet.

The accent wall containing the ballet art was six feet high with the remaining two inches at the top open to the bedroom on the other side ... _Her bedroom_. Liara wondered what that room looked like … she also wondered what Shepard was doing in there at this very moment. Was she getting changed? Putting on make-up? Brushing her hair as she had seen Chakwas assistant do? Was she thinking about Liara? That last thought made Liara frown. _What is wrong with you? Why do you care what she thinks?_

As Chakwas sat looking at the fire dancing about, Rose placed three glasses down on a chest in front of her and Liara … As she began pouring wine into the glasses, Rose couldn't help but notice how blue the asari's eyes were. _Michelle would like you_, Rose thought as she finished pouring, handing each their glass and then taking hers and sitting down in an oversized chair placed cattycorner across the room. To the right of Rose was the fireplace that had caught Chakwas' attention and above that a video screen which currently was set to music visualization and responding to Doris Day's _Dream a Little Dream_. Liara had been looking at the oversized antique chest that served as the room's coffee table while also noticing how the recessed lighting above them, dimmed, gave the area a nice cozy feel. On the chest was a candle, more white roses, a Bible and Shepard's netbook. She wondered what she would find if she opened the chest and felt a little frustrated that she would never know. Liara hated not having answers to her questions no matter how small or inconsequential they might seem to others.

Liara also noticed that there were candles scattered around the living area with many of them lit for this evening's dinner party and it made her wonder if she might have been better bringing one as her gift. The Commander appeared to love them … _Oh, Liara! You should have chosen one of these instead of … _She looked over at her gift sitting on the counter and frowned ... _She is not going to like it. She is just a human … she won't appreciate it like an asari would. You should have let Kaidan or Dr. Chakwas pick a gift for you._ As Liara turned to face the Parisian night sky, trying to get her mind off her worry, Chakwas and Rose talked about the greeting that the Normandy received upon arrival.

The far wall from the entrance was designed to look like a window with the faux window screen design and was really the highlight of the room … after three feet from the floor it began slanting inward at a 135 degree angle. Many apartments, restaurants, offices, had these types of screens to give the illusion of not being confined on a space station. If the person did not know that the scenes were just vids they would swear that what they were seeing was real. The vids came with audio and some windows even included smells … see an orchard, hear the birds, smell the citrus … ocean, forest, etc. Shepard's was just visual/audio and this was one of her favorites … The view of night time Paris as filmed from a rooftop. Liara, looking at the night lights, did not know where the city was on Earth but she had seen pictures of the Eiffel tower before. Wherever it was … it was on the Commander's home world.

Liara wondered if the view with the tower was Shepard's favorite place as she continued to look out the window and then she smiled. Smiled because she was sitting in the Commander's home and seeing how the woman, not the soldier, preferred to live. Looking at the softness of the design, she knew that the soldier did not live here but the real Shepard. The woman. This thought made her smile. Liara looked over at the bedroom door, nervous to see her. She had so needed to speak with her mother as of late ... speak to her about what she was feeling. Since meeting the Commander she had felt her emotions becoming unfamiliar. She would go from calm to panicky and it was all in response to Shepard.

As the two humans continued to chat, Liara sat quietly on the couch, clutching the glass of wine and mentally reciting a poetry that the Matriarch had written about calm winters. As she looked to the left of the fireplace where a bookshelf was, her breath caught and her reciting stopped. Just above the shelf was a picture. A picture with her in it. Liara had no doubt … this was not a hallucination. This was real. She touched her bracelet, touched the cross and knew why the Commander had seemed familiar … "Of course," Liara thought … it was her.


	38. Gift from a Thessian

Shepard contemplated putting her hair up but decided to just leave it down. The casual appearance would match her makeup which she had applied lightly … it was just enough to highlight her high cheekbones and draw the admirer to her green eyes and full lips. At twenty-nine, Shepard was well-versed in how to lay a trap for someone ... make-up, perfume, style of dress, the sway of hips ... and more than that. The coup de grâce was easily managed with a confident attitude ... As Shepard touched up her lipstick she continued to battle with herself as she looked in the mirror … she had never thought she would be putting on _war paint_, as her aunt Toni called it, for an asari. _If I have to seduce her … lie to her_ … at the word _lie_ she heard her mother say, _Elizabeth! __He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight … You know this! Do not justify falsehood! My Whisper is better than this._

Shepard lowered her head. _Mother, if these visions are true … all humanity could perish. Isn't that worth a few moments of lies if it saves lives?_ The sound of water gurgling was her only answer, but she knew that her mother would have never seen a reason to use deceit. Something even told her that it would have crushed her mother's very soul to think of her daughter using her body for gain in that way. _Fribbly-frap! Mother, you should understand that sometimes the rules must be bent for the greater good … I mean, I don't want to touch an asari in that way, but … you have to … well, sometimes a person has to … It wouldn't be my first course of action … you must see that … _gurgling water … heavy sigh ... _I'm not a virgin, you know ... French women are known for being more open sexually ... you were a French woman ... no, forget that part ... You were French but ... Crap! I don't need your approval! If this is the only way ... _gurgling water ... another heavy sigh ... Shepard looked back up in the mirror with her brow furrowed and her bottom lip in a pout ... _Fine! I'll try it your way … honest, kind, blah, blah, blah … but if it doesn't work I am not going to be happy._

Okay, it was agreed. She would not try to seduce the asari … just be pleasing enough to put Liara at ease. To show that Shepard was a nice and trustworthy person. If this night went well … if the Matriarch's daughter could see that Shepard was more than a soldier … then maybe Liara would reach out to the Matriarch … set up a meeting. Shepard would just be herself ... everything on the up and up. As she put the lipstick back in its case she grumbled, "Where were you, dad? You couldn't keep mom busy and out of my head this evening? And here I thought we were a team."

* * *

><p>"That's Shepard's parents," Chakwas said as Liara had stood up and moved closer to the photograph. "They died years ago during a batarian attack when she was just sixteen. Many people were killed or taken away."<p>

Liara looked at Hannah Shepard and felt her stomach turn. She remembered how kind the human had been ... even kind with hot kaffee spilled down the front of her dress by Liara. The thought of this woman being murdered … she felt anger rise as her biotics flared. Chakwas, seeing the asari in distress, called out her name as Liara moved even closer to the photograph. Ignoring the doctor, Liara asked, "Did the Commander see her mother die?"

Chakwas had never really thought about the event and was touched that the asari's first thought was on whether Shepard had been there. "I've never spoken with Shepard about Mindoir '70 to be quite honest ... or at least not in detail or regarding her parents."

"I pray that she did not," Liara said as she tried to remember when Mindoir had been attacked and what she was doing then. The thought that these two people had been part of it with the Commander ... she did not understand completely why but it caused her discomfort in her spirit. She continued to look at Hannah and thought of this woman's own child seeing her die … _how would that have touched the Commander?_ She could not see the woman that she met on Therum being powerless to save her. No. Not after seeing her in battle. So fearless. Liara lowered her head, "In a cycle of birth and passing … we touch then leave but just a shadow to give comfort." Liara looked back up at Hannah, "To think that her shadow might have been disfigured for the Commander … she would not have wanted that."

Chakwas smiled over at Rose who was watching Liara, "Well, let us talk on more pleasant things."

"Let's," Rose smiled back as she took a sip of her wine.

As the two women began talking about more pleasant things, Liara was lost in her own thoughts … She was thinking of how Hannah looked in person as opposed to the photograph. The image did not capture just how beautiful she was or more importantly the warmth and kindness in her eyes. She had caught fleeting moments of that warmth in Shepard but the other? "Her eyes were warm and kind, eyes that were passed on to her daughter. But while the Commander has her warmth at times, I'm afraid I have not seen her kindness."

"No?" she heard the Commander ask from behind her.

"Commander!" Liara was caught off-guard and as she turned she was thrown even more by Shepard's more casual appearance with the dress and her hair down.

"Dr. T'Soni," she smiled back. "Please call me Shepard while you are here in my home."

"Of course, Comm," Liara stopped, feeling foolish … then finished, "I mean Shepard."

"Now, about kinder eyes," Shepard smiled as she looked over at her mother.

As Liara felt herself struggling to find words, Chakwas stepped in, "I'm sure that Liara did not mean any offense."

Shepard touched her mother's image and smiled, "Offense intended or not … I'm afraid that the good doctor is right," Shepard turned to look at Liara, "We have a saying that the eyes are the windows to our souls … My mother was a much kinder soul than her daughter, I'm afraid."

"No, Com … Shepard," Liara felt her stomach tighten, "I'm afraid that my observation was unfair and inconsiderate … I am a guest and …"

Shepard quickly saw the sincerity of Liara and so she took a breath as she reached out and touched the asari's arm, "Really, it's okay. I am glad that you can see her warmth and kindness from the picture … I've always felt that photos could never capture either the beauty or those qualities in my mother."

Liara looked at Hannah and agreed that it did not do her mother justice, "She was beautiful and I am sure that you honor her in your thoughts."

"My thoughts?" Shepard gave a slight smirk, "Oh, she is never far in my thoughts, unfortunately."

"That is not what you want?" Liara did not understand.

"Only when I am trying to misbehave," Shepard answered. But seeing that Liara was still confused, went on to explain, "My mother's memory doesn't let me enjoy myself when I stray too far from the straight and narrow path."

Liara looked down at her wine, "I am sure that she would have wanted you to be content in life."

"Content?" Shepard looked at Liara and thought how perfect her wording was. _Yes_, Hannah would have wanted Shepard to be content … _Elizabeth, be content in life and not driven by want or greed._ How many times had she told Shepard that? "I see that my mother must have whispered in your ear, Dr. T'Soni."

"What?" Liara looked confused and then feeling slightly embarrassed said, "I'm afraid if that were true then I would have known how to make you more considerate and … kinder on Therum, Commander."

Shepard heard Chakwas laugh, "Well said, Liara!"

Shepard looked over at Rose, "See what I have to put up with?"

"I'll refill your glass," Rose giggled as she headed towards the kitchen.

Liara took a drink of her wine as she turned away … she had not meant to say that to Shepard but she had lost her temper slightly. _How could you act perioikos? Offending her in her own home!_ Liara privately admonished herself.

Shepard knew that Liara had been offended and so she said, "I'm glad that you are here to spend the evening with me in my home."

Liara hearing the words from the Commander thought that _she must be talking to Dr. Chakwas_ and was surprised to find Shepard looking at her when she turned around. "Oh, you are glad that I am here? Even after my thoughtless ..."

Shepard smiled at Liara as she took her glass of wine from Rose, "No, doctor ... let's just have a nice evening together."

"I would like that, Shepard," Liara smiled. "And if it is not too much to ask ... please call me Liara."

Shepard about to take a drink, stopped and smiled, "Okay ... Liara."

"Shepard," she smiled back.

* * *

><p>Joker put on Reticulating Splines' <em>Punch the Monkey<em> and then carefully moved towards the shower. He had spent most nights either home or at his mother's but he needed to run some tests with Adams early in the morning so he decided to sleep on the Normandy. As he reached in and started the water he yelled, "Punch the monkey! Spin the girl! Eat the pus…" _Thump! Thump! Thump!_ "Okay!" Joker shouted at the wall. "The biotic bitch must be back," he grumbled in response.

Kaidan normally let Joker yell away in his shower but tonight his headache was worse. Headache? No. Migraine … he had thrown up already, written in his migraine journal, taken two Maxalt-MLT and was putting cold water on a wash cloth when Joker's yelling hit him like ice picks in his eyes. After pounding on the pipe to silence the lunatic minstrel, he took the washcloth and carried it back with him to his bed where he laid down.

Joker, lathering up the shampoo in his hair, squeaked, "Bam, bam, baby … punch! No! Punch the monkey!" As he turned slightly, his foot caught a patch of shampoo on the floor and began to slide. He reached out for the bar that would have been there if he had been home. The shower was small so he thankfully couldn't fall over but ... he could and did hit the wall. As he slammed into it he heard a snap and knew that he had broken his leg, "No! No! No!"

_Thump! Thump! Thump!_ Kaidan rolled over, "What now?" he got up and moved towards the sound. _Thump! Thump! Thump!_ "Joker?" He yelled, causing his eyes to feel like they were bulging out. He heard a muffled response and knowing that Joker suffered from Vrolik Syndrome turned around and headed for the door. He hoped that it was nothing … Hoped for the sake of Joker and because he also knew that Shepard would not be happy to find out her lead pilot was down.

* * *

><p>Shepard had left her guests in the sitting area with full glasses of wine, Sade telling them that she couldn't love them more on the iMuse and animated chatter between Chakwas and Rose as Liara stole glances at the Commander. The meal was almost ready and now all Shepard needed to do was make the salad and dressing. As she placed dandelion green, pine nuts and a shallot on the counter she thought of her mother's kind eyes and smiled. The asari was right … Hannah Shepard was a much kinder person then her daughter. She would have seen the goodness in the asari and just by asking, Liara would have been happy to help her out. Or was the asari being truthful to begin with? Was Shepard being too trusting? <em>Do the asari even feel emotional attachment<em>? Shepard wondered as she pulled out her salad bowl. _What do they feel?_

As Shepard left the bowl on the counter and turned to the blender, Liara came into the kitchen and almost whispered, "Shepard?"

"Yes?" Shepard was in the process of taking the lid off the blender.

"May I help?" Liara wanted to spend time with the Commander not sit in the other room as Chakwas and Rose talked about patterns. Okay, they could have even been talking about the protheans but Liara would still want to be with Shepard.

Shepard would have preferred to be alone in the small kitchen but she could see that Liara was reaching out to her ... that she was just trying to be helpful. "Do you know how to work a blender?"

Liara looked over at it and smiled, "I think that I can handle that."

"Good," Shepard smiled as she told her what she needed to do to make the roasted garlic dressing.

As they moved about each other in the kitchen Liara couldn't help but notice how the dress was made of thin material and showed off Shepard's curves. This made her start to wonder what her body looked like underneath the dress … She saw the scars on her face and right shoulder and they made her wonder if there were more scars hidden from view and how the Commander had gotten them. As her mind thought of these things, she almost turned the blender on without the lid. Shepard, just about to transfer the pasta to a strainer, saw what was about to happen and quickly pulled Liara's hand away … "Oh, Goddess!" Liara couldn't believe what she had almost done. "I'm sorry, Comman … I mean Shepard."

"No problem, doc … I mean Liara," Shepard teased, as she let go of Liara's hand. "I've almost done that too."

"Did you or are you just trying to make me feel not so foolish?" Liara asked as she placed the lid on.

"I did," Shepard shrugged like a little girl. "It happened because my mind was elsewhere … care to share?"

As Shepard went back to transfer the pasta she looked at Liara. _No_ … Liara thought instantly. Telling the Commander that she was thinking about her scars, about her body would not do. So Liara placed her hand on top of the blender and started it as she smiled at Shepard.

In that moment, Shepard saw Liara and not an asari. It was such a sweet and honest moment … the way she smiled as she hit the blend key. It made Shepard laugh out loud and wink at Liara, "Okay, doctor … I'll keep the penny for future thoughts."

Liara did not understand what she meant about a penny but she really didn't care … Hearing Shepard laugh and then wink … yes, she winked. Wasn't winking a form of flirting for humans? Was the Commander flirting with her? Liara had felt moments of desire as Shepard looked at her and now in the small kitchen ... as they touched in passing she felt her own body stir in response. Did Shepard feel it too? Or was it just her. _Was it?_ Wait … What was she thinking? Shepard was human. Liara did not feel attracted to anything but her own kind … then she looked over at the Commander who was pulling out a small saucepan for the dressing and knew … She had never been so sure of anything in her life ... _You desire her._ Liara shook her head. _No, Liara ... You can't feel this way. This is not wise or prudent_. Shepard brushed past her again as she removed the blender jar to add the contents to the sauce pan and being so close to her made Liara feel a need to touch her … to not just touch her but … Liara wanted to know Shepard and her secrets. The thoughts, the feelings, the driving need that Liara was experiencing made her feel light headed … "Shepard, may I use your washroom?"

Shepard seeing Liara leaning against the counter put down the jar and helped steady her, "Are you okay?"

Liara looked over at her wine glass and nodded, "Yes … but ... forgive me, I am not used to drinking wine."

Shepard, with a look of concern, said, "Are you sure it's just the wine?"

"I'm positive, Commander … I mean Shep-" Liara put her hand on her forehead.

"It's okay," Shepard smiled. "I'll have Rose show you to the bathroom ... I just hope that it hasn't ruined your appetite. I made my world famous spoggoten and meatballs for you."

Liara gave a half laugh at the word spoggoten … She knew that the Commander was teasing her … maybe even making fun of her … When she had used that word earlier in the day with Kaidan, he had patiently taught her the correct way to say _spaghetti_. She had planned on politely informing the Commander that she did not like individuals who let her look foolish but now … looking at her, being with her. _You desire her … _The thought scared her and as she tried to deny it … she looked into Shepard's eyes and … _I want you to desire me … desire me as I do you_.

Shepard called out to Rose, "Please show Liara to the bathroom while I finish in here. I'm afraid that the wine was too much for her."

"Liara?" Chakwas had quickly moved from the sitting area to the dining area and looked worried.

"It's just the wine, Dr. Chakwas," Liara assured her, "I am not use to drinking alcohol … I am sure that just a little water against my face and I will be fine."

As Liara was shown out of the room Shepard went to complete the dressing as Chakwas sat on a barstool, "I've heard that the asari aren't heavy drinkers ... now I know why."

"Cheap drunks?" Shepard shook her head as she added the shallot, "Don't tell that to the boys on the Normandy unless you plan on running a side business … wait, maybe you should. It would help pay for your med bay expenses."

"Indeed," Chakwas loved naughty humor and she found that Shepard was the same.

"Speaking of expenses," Shepard moved the pan off the burner, "Congratulations on getting Dr. Bakari back in your crew."

"Well, I have my gifts, Commander" Chakwas did not add that she had promised him hazard pay. As she watched Shepard place the dandelion greens into a large salad bowl, Chakwas could see that she was tired. "And you?"

"Me?" Shepard asked as she poured the warm dressing over the greens and began tossing it just as Rose returned to place the pasta in a bowl.

"Yes, you … how are you doing?" Chakwas asked, not allowing Shepard to dodge the question.

"Hungry," Shepard smiled.

* * *

><p>As Kaidan entered Joker's room, Creedence Clearwater Revival's <em>Bad Moon Rising<em> had just started and no matter how much he wanted to shut it off, his first concern was Joker. As he entered the small washroom he found Joker leaning against the wall in the shower, "Joker? Are you okay?"

"Okay?" Joker looked at him. "Besides the broken bones in my right leg? What do you think?"

"I'll get help," Kaidan said as he went to leave.

"Can you cover me before we have visitors?" Joker shouted, causing Kaidan to pop his head back in.

"Cover?" Kaidan asked.

"In case you aren't aware … most people take showers in the raw … and before you are curious, I'm twice the size of you," Joker cracked, "so there is no reason for you to look down."

"What?" Kaidan asked as he looked down.

"And you looked?" Joker sounded disgusted but also in pain.

"Don't move," Kaidan told him as he went to the comm. to call for help.

"No?" Joker rolled his eyes, "I was planning on moving to my bed … you know, slap the monkey … oh, and break a few more bones along the way. Towel please!"

"Okay, Joker," Kaidan could be heard as he punched the comm., "This is Lieutenant Alenko … please send assistance to Flight Lieutenant Moreau's stateroom. It appears that he may have broken his leg."

"Can we not tell the Commander?" Joker asked as he put his forehead against the wall.

"What?" Kaidan poked his head back in, "You mean that you are half the size of me?"

"You wish," Joker grumbled. "The water is cold! You know ... as in shrinkage?"

* * *

><p>Liara was surprised at how small Shepard's washroom was but she liked the design. It followed the steel and dark wood of the kitchen and although the tub was small the room had a spa feeling with a small waterfall, candles, towels rolled up and placed in baskets, a large flat bowl with lavender bars and a bundle of herbs tied to the bathtub faucet. She wasn't sure what the bundle was for but she liked the way it smelled.<p>

As she moved out into the bedroom her view was semi-obscured by a hanging aquarium that despite its size contained just two Illium Skald fish. Below it was an antique French prayer bench with needle point upholstery. These two items created a separation from the bedroom and the closet and bathroom door.

As Liara moved to the left of these items she heard the soft sound of rain as the far wall, shaped just like the sitting areas, was set to a raining Paris night sky. Liara moved in fascinated by how it looked so real and as her attention was focused on the rain falling on the window panes she almost tripped on the Japanese-style platform bed. Liara had never understood why people would like their beds low to the ground as she grew up with beds that were at least four feet high ... but now she might consider trying it. The built-in side tables had candles, a Pepe Le Pew miniature statue, Shepard's ebook and a reading light … but Liara barely noticed these things as her attention was drawn to what hung over the bed … Shepard had a large canvas with an oil painting of a fire and coming out of it was a butterfly. _Beautiful_, Liara thought as she moved to the foot of Shepard's bed and looked up at it. The butterfly reminded her of her dream with the artist using gold and green oils to convey motion around its wings … _It is just like my dream_.

"It's called Papillion Le Rouge," Shepard said, causing Liara to jump. "Translated it means the red butterfly … but my friend Teddy thought it translated to the fiery butterfly."

"What is that language?" Liara asked as she continued to look at the painting.

"It's French … my mother's language," Shepard answered, "Teddy is a friend of mine back on Earth. He painted this for me a few years ago."

"Why a butterfly?" Liara could not believe that this was just coincidence, her dream and the painting.

"That's what my Aunt B called me sometimes," Shepard looked over at the rain hitting the pane and smiled, "It should have been called papillon de feu."

Liara turned to face Shepard, "And you didn't tell him that he was saying it wrong?"

"No," Shepard smiled, as she looked back at the painting. "Things don't always have to be perfect or correct … Teddy was so proud when he presented it to me … telling everyone at the party the name and what it meant." Shepard smiled at the memory … "Well, that just made Papillion Le Rouge perfect."

"But if the name was wrong," Liara shook her head, "you should have told him."

Shepard smiled at Liara, "If I gave you a present and I made a small mistake that did not diminish the gift … would you focus on the mistake or the gift?"

"Oh, the gift," Liara had not given the Commander her gift.

"Yes, the gift," Shepard said as Liara moved past her. "Liara?"

"I brought you a gift," Liara could not believe that she had forgotten.

Shepard followed her out and passed Rose who was putting the spaghetti on the table and telling her that she was hungry, "This smells good … can we eat now?"

"Oh, yes," Shepard smiled, "But first I think that I've got a gift coming. A gift from a Thessian."

Liara picked up her gift and took a breath before she turned to Shepard, "I hope that you like it."

At first Shepard thought that Liara was presenting her with a silver frame … a nice frame, but a frame … then she realized that it held a sketch of a tree. The branches and leaves were hanging down and kissing the ground … its shadow falling on what appeared to be some kind of crop. "Did you sketch this?"

Liara nodded, "Kaidan said to give something from the heart or what you liked. I do not know what you like so I thought … this was my favorite tree on Lusia."

"Lusia?" Shepard asked as she continued to look at the sketch.

"A planet in the Athena Nebula," Liara explained as she looked closely at Shepard, "I spent seven years there and would have stayed longer but ... there were other responsibilities so I returned to Thessia."

Shepard so enchanted by the sketch was only half listening to Liara. As the room became silent, Shepard pointed to what appeared to be bushes on the ground, "And these are?"

"Oh," Liara smiled, "those are sitruuna plants. We … asari get our tea and medicine from them. This plant and all its properties are deeply entwined in our history and culture."

Shepard looked again at the tree and smiled. She could tell that the sketch had taken time as each leaf appeared to be unique, the same with the crop and the way the shadows appeared to be almost real … It reminded her of Georgia and of her favorite tree … the weeping willow. The longer she looked at the gift, the more Shepard felt shame. As she held the gift and heard Liara explaining what she had sketched, Shepard found herself getting misty-eyed. Just hours before Shepard had thought about using Liara and yet here she had given Shepard a piece of her … "Thank you, Liara. I am really touched by this gift."

"Do you really like it?" Liara couldn't help but smile at Shepard's words.

Shepard looked up at Liara, "I love it … it reminds me of my father's home. After dinner I'll show you a picture of where he came from and a tree that favors it."

"I would like that," Liara smiled.

"Can we eat?" Rose asked from the dining area.

"I'll get the wine," Chakwas said as Shepard and Liara smiled then headed for the dining table.

"Get ready to fall in love with tomatoes, Ms. T'Soni!" Shepard told Liara as they sat across from each other.


	39. Glass Bones Boy

_Glass that shatters_

_Bones that break_

_Boy that cries _

_... a joker's fate_

* * *

><p>Joker had awakened two days after his accident in the shower and before even opening his eyes knew that his right leg was encased in the Asclepius. This was a device that helped bones heal faster and after all the years of fractured bones knew that even with the help of the device he would be down for at least a week. "Shit!" he muttered as he looked for the device to raise the biobed … "Where are you?" he grumbled.<p>

"Do you need help?" Chief Nurse Meixiang Zyu asked.

"Huh?" Joker had been too distracted in his search of the controls to notice the nurse approach. "Oh, I need to … raise ... the ... oh, crap ... can you put me in the Fowler's position?"

"I'm sorry … in what position?" She had never heard the archaic term for raising the head of the bed.

"He means he wants his head raised," Dr. Chakwas answered as she touched the control and started the lift. "Just tell me when."

"When." Joker said as he came to rest at a 50 degree angle.

"Are you hungry?" Chakwas asked as she took his chart and after reviewing it placed it back over his head.

"I don't suppose I could get a hamburger?" He asked as he carefully readjusted his position. "And a beer?"

"No … but you can have oatmeal, banana and if you behave … turkey bacon." Chakwas told him as RN Zyu walked away. "And a milk."

"Turkey?" Joker glowered. "Why not real bacon?"

"Turkey bacon," Chakwas said in a stern voice just as he winced in pain, "It's not that bad!" She responded to his look.

"No," he groaned. "My leg … slight … discomfort."

Since birth Joker had been in and out of hospitals due to his disease … osteogenesis imperfecta. A genetic bone disorder that meant bone fractures, bone deformity and curvature of the spine just to name a few perks. The disease was also sometimes called Vrolik syndrome which a very young Joker had preferred over osteogenesis_ imperfecta_. As he liked to tell people, "I was born with a dozen fractures ... hips, thighs, ankles. My bones were already breaking in the womb. A hundred years ago, I wouldn't have survived past my first year. Lucky for me, modern medical science has turned me into a productive member of society."

What he said was true ... on all accounts. Joker was lucky even if he was born with severe fractures in his body. He was lucky even if being born fractured was just the tip of the iceberg ... just the start of his life as a glass bones boy. Many advancements had been made at the Shriners Hospitals for Children in Chicago and his parents had made sure that he received everything from a Spinal fusion to correct the scoliosis, pamidronate and BP therapies, Physiotherapy that included hydrotherapy and metal rods surgically inserted into his long bones to help improve strength. Throughout all of this there was the pain followed by pain killers and more therapy. The therapy was hard since moving risked fractures … as a little boy he had cried as the therapist moved him around. The tears were more out of fear … fear of fracturing … fear of another surgery … fear of more pain. Fear.

These pain killers also left him foggy and drooling on himself at times and he had hated it! Once in a while at school on the Arc the pain medicine would leave him slightly lethargic or slurring his words or resulting in drool running down his chin. His school mates would tease him and call him _Drooly_. He tried to ignore the taunts until the day that his new medication had resulted in him urinating on himself. In class! In front of all the other kids! That day he had shed tears … hot tears as he begged his mother to never make him go back. But back he went … to all the taunts and "look its wetty Jeffy!" Then there was a medication that he was on that while helping strengthen his bones had also been determined to stunt growth … he had wondered why he was not as tall as others but now … no. He did not want to be short as well as broken. So he begged his mother to take him off it along with the pain medication. To take him off everything. Begged.

What it meant was living at a pain level of seven while his bones grew and he never wavered in his decision. Not even when he spent hours crying and rubbing his legs as he felt pain in front of his thighs and calves. Those years meant that he grew to a tall 170 cm … well, tall for someone with osteogenesis imperfecta ... whereas his peers who survived the disease grew to an average 160 cm. Not taking pain medication also made his tolerance for pain grow to a higher threshold than the average person … this was important since he sat between a three and five on most days. _Despite the pain I stayed completely sober!_ He would always proclaim proudly to his family. _While others were doped up and drooling ... I was growing! See mom, it was worth it!_

During those years there were two things that happened to change his life … the first was a video game _Pilots of Shanxi_. It was a present from his father who had seen how his sone loved watching the starships leave and return to the Arc. The present came just in time for another trip from the Arc to Earth … "Son, this game will take you out into the galaxy while you are stuck in bed … you can travel the Traverse! Fight the turians … even take on batarians if you like."

"I'm not good with video games," he had moaned, "I'm not good at anything but being sick."

"What?" his dad put the game in his hands, "You are more than a sick kid! You are my son, dammit!"

Joker looked up at his father who was angered at those words, "Sorry dad."

"No, its okay," his father had softened, "Just try it son … you might like it."

Like it? While recovering from yet another surgery in Chicago, he found that he loved it! He even loved flying the craft more than fighting and would spend hours exploring the galaxy ... yes … he loved flying around the Hades Gamma cluster with his co-pilot, Seven of Nine. He loved it because he was good at it and also because it kept him lost and outside his body ... away from his pain for as long as he played. _Ah, Seven of Nine_ … He had downloaded her into the game after another kid in the hospital showed him how. While _Pilots of Shanxi_ was his introduction to sitting in a pilot's seat or at least in his mind, he never thought he would have a chance at becoming a real life pilot ... of sitting in a real life seat on a real life starship. Not until his father, after seeing how well his kid had mastered the flight simulator, asked if he wanted to become one.

When Joker lowered his head and told his dad that he could never become a pilot his father laughed. He then told him about another person who suffered from Vroliks named Randy Guss … "Son, he was a drummer in a band back in the 1990's called Toad the Wet Sprocket." That very evening as father and son listened to the band, listened to the drums ... the young boy knew that if someone with osteogenesis imperfecta ... someone like him ... broken ... could be a drummer in a band ... then he could be a pilot. Not just a pilot but the best pilot ever.

Where we start is not where we end ... Joker had started insecure, frightened and sure that he would never amount to anything but more fractures, more trips to the surgery room, more looks of sympathy from strangers, more tears for his parents. He had asked God to make him better, to take his mother's tears away, to take away his pain ... but no god answered him. So in that silence he had decided there was no god, no one to help him, no future ... and he cried. As he moved into his teens he often contemplated dying to escape the pain but he had stayed on as he looked at his mother and knew he could never do that to her.

Little Jeff, the crippled kid, was beaten until he heard a drummer ... the sticks pounding against the drum. Because of a band already long dead a boy stood up and challenged anyone who thought him less ... more importantly, he had challenged himself. As if looking for more ammo he had started looking at accomplishments of other glass people like him and discovered world famous painters to Olympic bronze medalists! Olympians! If they could do it ... he could do it better! Like a bull released into the ring he could not be held back. But it wasn't a bull snorting in that ring but a fourteen year old crippled kid shouting "I am worthy."

Now fourteen years later, he was crippled still and with fractures yet again but ... he was a pilot ... the lead pilot of the Normandy. He was also cocky, sarcastic and some might even say arrogant. As the pain increased in his leg he heard Chakwas say, "I can increase your pain medication."

"No, doc," he moaned as he laid his head back against his pillow. He would not take pain medication whenever possible because of that moment of urinating on himself back in fourth grade. It had scarred him and as a result he had a deep fear of losing control. No way in hell was he ever going to be embarrassed or out of control in front of others again like that.

Chakwas knew that he was in pain but she respected his decision, "If you change your mind just let one of us know."

Joker nodded, having gotten as comfortable as he could, and asked what day it was as Chakwas turned to go.

"It's Sunday," Chakwas answered.

_Sunday?_ he rubbed his head, _Shit!_ He knew that he would not be up and around on the departure date set three days out. _Nope, not going to happen, _he bitterly thought_, Sunday!_

* * *

><p><em>I will meet you in the morning...by the bright river side...<em>  
><em>When all sorrow has drifted away...<em>  
><em>I'll be standing at the portals...when the gates open wide...<em>  
><em>At the close of life's long dreary day...<em>

_I'll meet...you in the morning..._  
><em>With a "How do you do..."<em>  
><em>And we'll sit down...by the river...<em>  
><em>And with rapture old acquaintance renew...<em>

_You'll know me in the morning..._  
><em>By the smiles...that I wear...<em>  
><em>When I meet you...in the morning...<em>  
><em>In the city that is built four square...<em>

... the congregation sang at the Arcturus Baptist Church. This was where Shepard attended when on the Arc. Okay, she occasionally attended. After serving a 16 year sentence under Warden Hannah she wasn't as faithful in her attendance. But this morning she had decided to go where she would feel her mother's presence. She had been thinking a lot of her parents as of late and while she hadn't really thought too hard on why ... she had recognized that it was after talking with the asari ... Liara.

After dinner, while Chakwas and Rose straightened the sitting area and drank another glass or two of wine ... Liara had helped Shepard wash the dishes. Shepard washed as Liara dried and they talked about Hannah and life on Mindoir after she had seen the picture of Hannah and Shepard in the garden. "You look content there," Liara said at the photo of mother and daughter on thier knees in the garden holding up dirty hands, palms out.

"Yes," Shepard half-laughed as she looked over at the picture. "Those are some of my favorite memories ... Gardening with my mom."

"I see," Liara smiled as she took a dish. "I am sorry to hear that she passed on so ..."

Shepard picked up another dish, "She died peacefully at least."

Liara looked at Shepard, "Peacefully? Dr. Chakwas said that she was killed in the ..."

"No," Shepard stopped washing as she looked into Liara's eyes, "My mother was spared that ... She died while my father and i worked on my bike. No pain ... she just closed her eyes and passed away."

"I am glad," Liara started and then realized how that sounded, "not that she died but ... oh ..."

Shepard could see that Liara was struggling and put her out of her misery, "It's okay, Liara. I know what you meant."

As the two went back to washing and drying the dishes, Liara looked down at Shepard's hands, "You have beautiful hands Shepard."

"Huh?" Shepard, caught off-guard by the compliment, almost dropped the dish.

"Your hands," Liara continued as Shepard placed them under the water, "they are beautiful. Your fingers are long and slender ..."

"Thank you," Shepard cut her off, slightly embarrassed. "Let's focus on getting these dishes done so we can share some of that wine the other two are desperately trying to finish before we return."

Now standing in church singing, she looked down at her hands and smiled. They were beautiful because they were carbon copies of her mother's hands ... _perfect for the piano_, Hannah would tell her. _Oh, mother_, Shepard always missed her but that ache had been just a little stronger these past two days and so she had attended church ... although while at her mother's church on Mindoir she would still take her old seat up front center … not here. No, here she felt a little like a sinner in the fourth row back … _But I'm still center and hey, I'm in church!_ She privately teased her mother. _If you don't like it then come down here and make me sit in that front row._ Sinner? No. Rebel? Yes ... she was a rebel here. A fourth row rebel.

As the hymn ended, Liam and Shepard took their seats to listen to the sermon of the morning. The pastor was nice and competent but growing up with a preacher made her a tough audience. She had heard so many sermons both in church and in private that her mind was quick to wander once the singing stopped and the preaching started. As the pastor instructed the congregation to turn their Bibles to Malachi 4:3, Shepard turned her mind elsewhere. She drifted off to the activities that both her and her crew needed to complete before the Normandy's departure in three days_. Thank you!_ Three days and she would be off the Arc and away from the meet and greet life. _Double thank you and salutations from afar!_

Truth was … she needed to find Saren. She needed to be hunting not posing. The visions reminded her of this ... She was finding it harder to go to sleep as her night-time panic attacks were happening with much more frequency. Shepard would awaken with a start and an overwhelming feeling of dread and absolute despair would crash in on her. With shortness of breath, her body soaked in sweat, heart racing and more than once her hand and feet tingling ... she would jump out of bed and stumble into her bathroom. Checking to make sure that her nose wasn't bleeding, she would then splash water on her face as she listened to the gurgling of the waterfall. "Get a grip!" she would admonish herself.

The visions were becoming clearer and while she didn't understand the voices or really what the visions meant … every day the fog was just a smidgen lighter. But as she pulled closer to the truth it was the cries and screams that tormented her … sounds that reminded her of Mindoir. No mercy. No pity. No salvation. Just cries of despair and screams of abandonment. Was she really the one to do this? Surely there had to be someone else who was more qualified … _Why me?_ She asked her reflection.

* * *

><p>Joker was laying back, eyes closed, Toad the Wet Sprocket's <em>Butterflies <em>playing on his iMuse when Shepard walked up to his bed. He looked pale and weak to her and she wondered how someone with his condition managed day to day. She had learned about his accident shortly after Chakwas returned to the Normandy the night of the dinner party. Dr. Bakari had handled the operation and Joker was already sedated, set in the Asclepius and report filed making Chakwas smile. He was worth the increase in pay. With Joker's condition he needed medical attention then and there and with her onshore the delay might have caused additional problems. She then called Shepard and reported what had happened and requested a modification for his shower … "I should have already requested it," Chakwas said. "I will take responsibility for his injury."

"Let's blame the shampoo on the floor," Shepard had responded as she tried to not show her frustration. She had just a few days prior rejected a request from the Alliance to switch out Joker and now this … "Gobbledy**-**frackin' gook!" Shepard swore as she hung up from Chakwas. She tended to use childhood slang when angry and it sometimes diffused it … but not this time. There were concerns that Joker and his osteogenesis imperfecta might be an unnecessary risk during this very high profiled mission. In his defense she had pulled his records and using his Academy scores, numerous commendations both in the Academy and the Alliance along with an Alliance Combat Commendation Medal quickly doused that fire … if word that he was on the binnacle list reached them as a result of just shampooing his hair. "The shower? You had to get hurt in the frackin' shower ... by shampoo?" She had cursed as she downed a glass of wine.

Now as she stood next to him, he opened his eyes and almost jumped, startled to see Shepard standing next to him in her Sunday's best. "Commander!"

"Joker," she smiled, "how are you feeling?"

"Fine," he said rather curtly as he was worried that she was about to let him go.

Shepard caught the shift in his body and knew that he was on the defensive, "The doctor ha..."

"I can see where this is going," Joker cut her off, desperate. "Well, I'll tell you the same thing I told the Captain ... You want me as your pilot. I'm not good ... I'm not even great ..."

"Joker," she tried to stop him but he was on a roll.

"I'm the best damn helmsman in the Alliance fleet!" he almost yelled, "Just look at my record ... Top of my class in flight school? I earned that! All those commendations in my file? I earned every single one … No one gave those to me because I was sick!"

"Joker!" now it was Shepard's turn to cut him off. "I've read your file and I've seen what you can do ... Remember Therum?"

"I saved your ass there," he challenged, still worried that she was about to let him go.

"Yes you did," she almost smiled but kept a poker face, "And I agree that you should not be given things because you are ... unique."

"Unique?" he sat up.

"Unique, abrasive and a pain in the ass," she told him. "But that is not why I am here. I wanted to check in on you and also sign the request to have safety bars installed in your shower and stateroom."

"What?" Joker was still confused.

Shepard shook her head, "I just wanted you to know that I've approved them and that I hope your recovery is quick."

"You …?" Joker choked. "Ah, crap!"

As Joker slumped down, Shepard finally smiled at him, "Now … Dr. Chakwas says that you'll be unable to get us off the Arc so Officer Draven will have that honor. From what I understand she has been trained in leaving the dock and is almost has talented as you."

"Talitha?" Joker scowled, but before he could debate that he saw the doors to Dr. Chakwas private quarters lide open and the asari walk out.

"Commander Shepard?" Liara greeted as she walked across the med bay to where Joker and Shepard were, "I thought that I had heard your voice."

Shepard turned around to see the asari smiling at her, "Dr. T'Soni, good afternoon. Is Dr. Chakwas keeping you busy?"

"Yes, thank you," Liara answered as she admired Shepard's dress, "I also wanted to thank you again for the dinner."

"You're welcome," Shepard caught the look and felt a slight pang of guilt.

"I told Kaidan that because of you ... I am rather fond of tomatoes now," she confessed.

As Shepard looked at Liara she was confused. By the end of the dinner party, she had caught looks from the asari that she worried might be of attraction. But then hearing Liara talk about Kaidan ... _No, Shepard_, she told herself, _Liara likes Kaidan_. "Well, I am really glad to hear that."

Liara liked it when the Commander was near, when she could look at her and as Shepard went to turn back to Joker she asked, "It is my understanding that we are to be on the Citadel within the next ten days ... is that correct?"

"Yes, ten days," Shepard answered, catching another look that confused her. No, she had to be wrong. Shepard knew how the asari looked when they liked her and she had not seen _that look_ from Liara. Not once. As she looked at Liara she hoped that Liara saw her as a _… a …_ _a friend,_ Shepard thought. _Yes, a friend and ally_. That thought ... that moment disappeared as quickly as it came. Shepard had to remember that this was the daughter of her enemy … that she was probably her enemy as well. The thoughts troubled her and so she turned away … "Well, I must be going. Joker, get well and quickly! I need you back on the bridge."

"Will do," Joker was relieved, "Just don't let Talitha do too much damage … The Normandy is the best ship in the fleet if you've got a pilot who knows how to handle her ..."

"And you are that pilot?" Shepard teased but before Joker could respond, she turned back to Liara, "Whatever he tells you … don't believe."

With that Joker and Liara watched Shepard leave the med bay and as Liara continued to look at the exit, Joker looked over at her and … "not you too!"

Liara looked over at him confused, "Not me?"

Joker shook his head, "The Commander. You like her too." He might not ever be accused of being sensitive but he knew that the look on Liara's face was the same as Kaidan's when Shepard wasn't looking … okay, okay, and maybe … just maybe what his face looked like too. Maybe. But the fact was that while the look on Kaidan's face made him want to punch him and hard ... that look on Liara was … sad. She was like him. Stuck in the _not a chance in hell_ club. With his bones and her … well, female, blue, not-human, asari … hey, he actually had a better chance than her. _Huh,_ _I'm hotter than an asari_, he thought to himself.

"The Commander?" Liara stumbled.

"Don't worry," he told her. "Ymay ipslay areway ealedsay."

Liara had no idea what he had just said but hoped that it meant that the conversation was over. She did not want to discuss her desire for the Commander with anyone until she had time to reflect. Then and only then would she discuss it but not with him … she needed her mother or at least her Theia. Shepard was making her think and feel things she was unsure of and she needed guidance.


	40. Special Delivery

The baby in his arms yawned just as his wife told him for the tenth time that she was not leaving their home without him. Pressly sighed as he placed his grandson down in the cradle next to his chair just as his wife huffed off into the kitchen. Charles and Esther Pressly had spent the early morning with their first and only grandbaby stealing kisses and alone time with the lad as they let the boy's parents sleep in. It had been quite enjoyable until the topic of him leaving came up and they once again argued about her going to their Arizona residence. The baby yawned again and Pressly mimicked it before he began baby talking as his wife continued on about not leaving the Arc as she banged pots and pans around in the kitchen.

Pressly was worried that if anything happened to him she would be alone on the Arc. Oh, he knew that she had friends there but he wanted her to be close to their son and her family in Arizona. Close to them … just in case. He slowly stood up, smiled once again at his grandson and then walked from the living room to the kitchen where she was pulling out the eggs, "How you can even think that I would leave our home while you are out there doing god knows what! I swear Charles! After all these years together I still sometimes think that you don't know me! As if I would leave!"

"Esther," he pleaded, "the kids would do well to have you with them … Jason says that he and Mary don't want to leave Charlie with strangers when they go to work. And how is it different if you are here or in Arizona? Either way you won't be with me. I would worry less about you if I knew that Jason was close."

Esther looked at her husband and knew that he worried about her when he was gone. Charles worried about everything really … he was the biggest worrier that she had ever known. But it was that part of him that made him detail-oriented and very thorough in everything that he did. It was part of what made him a better Officer and even a better husband when it was measured out in small doses. "Charles, I see no reason to leave our home here on the Arc … When this mission is completed and you return then, and only then, will you and I go home to Phoenix. Together."

Charles hugged his wife, "Esther, if you go now … I promise that after this mission is over I'll take that retirement and we can finally live full-time in Phoenix. While I renovate the old casa ... you can take up pottery and join some ladies club."

"Pottery?" she laughed. "That's almost as funny as you renovating. I can no more imagine you with a hammer then me with a mound of clay."

Pressly frowned, "Please Esther!"

"Did you invite your Captain here for dinner tonight?" Esther asked, changing the subject. "I realize that with her and you leaving in the morning … she probably already has plans."

"I did," Pressly answered as he dropped his shoulders in defeat, "she was happy to accept. And I told her and Lieutenants Alenko and Freedman dinner at five."

"What?" Esther almost shouted, "No Charles! I said seven! Seven! I'll need to go to the store now."

Pressly watched her as she yelled for their daughter-in-law, took off her apron and raced towards the bedroom. Shortly after, he heard chatter and movement between the softer of the sexes as he returned to the cradle and looked down at his grandson, "Women … They'll make you want to run away on one hand and slay dragons for them on the other. Stay away from them little man as long as you can … trust me."

"Still giving that old advice?" he heard his son ask from behind.

"Oh, Jason," he smiled as he turned around. "Was I wrong?"

"No, sir," he smiled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Seeing his son's hair sticking out every which way and rubbing his eyes made him laugh, "It seems like yesterday that you were Charlie's age."

Jason smiled at his old man and then looked down at his son, "Were you as scared of being a father as I am?"

"No," Pressly answered, patting him on his shoulder. "I knew that as long as your mother was there you would survive having me as your father."

This made his son laugh and hug him, "True! Thank god for Mary then. Him and I are going to need her."

"When do you leave for home?" Pressly asked his son as he pulled away and sat down in his chair.

"Thursday … day after you," his son answered as he sat across from him on the couch. "Mary and I keep asking mom to come with us but she is …"

"Stubborn," Pressly grumbled.

"I heard that," Esther yelled from the other room.

"Dad, this mission you're on …" Pressly shook his head as he turned on the Arc station News.

Pressly did not like to discuss the potential dangers in front of his wife. He knew that she was aware of them but it had become part of their unspoken contract of marriage. No discussions of the dangers he might or might not be in when away from home. "Just come home safe and alive," she had told him shortly after their marriage. With this in mind, the two men waited another hour as the women finished getting ready and left for shopping. As the door closed, Jason picked up his son to feed him and Pressly turned off the station.

"Okay dad," Jason said, "Should I be worried about you?"

Pressly looked up at his son, worry spread across his brow, "Jason, I need you kids to get your mother to go with you. I don't want her here alone if …"

Jason had never seen his father so somber in spirit before, "It's bad, isn't it?"

"The Commander says it is," he answered, "that's why I want Esther with you."

"Maybe she is wrong?" he hoped, "Your Commander. I mean, you know how women exaggerate."

"No, son," Pressly shook his head, "The Commander's not given to exaggerations and if she says that we may not survive this … I'm afraid that we may not survive. So promise me that you won't stop trying to get your mother back to Phoenix."

Jason looked at his dad and whispered, "I promise."

* * *

><p>"She promised you this would work?" Alcot Satake whispered to Addison Chase as they rolled the oversized crate through the service tunnels. The tunnels were used to transport goods to the various stores and services and in the process keep the main pedways open to everyday life. Using the tunnels required a pass to enter and this had been procured by the Commander for the two men and the oversized crate that they were now carting around on a dolly.<p>

"Shhh," he whispered, "It will work ... Trust me! Just another forty feet and we'll be at the Athletica Gym."

"But what if the walking trail isn't closed?" Satake worried as the wheels on the dolly squeaked … echoing off the walls. "If there are people using it … if they see …"

"Shhhh," Chase shook his head, "It'll be closed! The Commander made arrangements for the area to be closed off. She's good friends with the owner or something. I mean, she gets what she wants so … so stop worrying and keep pushing!"

As they rolled a couple feet more, a thumping could be heard from inside the crate. They stopped; squeaking silenced as Chase put his face close to the air holes drilled on the upper side and whispered that they were almost there and to "be patient. You want to give us away?"

"I can't believe we agreed to do this," Satake worried. "We are going to get caught. I just know it."

"Between your worrying and his impatience … I'm gonna need a beer!" Chase shook his head as they started moving forward.

"Jail!" Satake moaned, as the squeaking started again, "That's where we're going … Jail! In the stocks … or whatever they call it. Bread and water!"

A thumping was heard yet again inside the crate and Chase sighed as he returned to the air holes, "Almost there … I promise."

"Yup! Jail!" Satake continued, as he wiped his forehead with his shirt. "We are going to be bitches to …"

"Shhh, both of you!" Chase cut him off.

As the wheels squeaked, other delivery personnel passed by them and an occasional thump from inside the crate was heard, Satake whined, "I don't see why we are doing this anyway. We leave in the morning. I mean … we could stop on some planet and let …"

"Shhh," Chase put his index finger to his lips and then waved him on. "Look, once we deliver this package we can go to the Thirsty Turtle for a couple hours … the Commander says that the drinks and meal are on her … yep, steak, eggs and lots of beer … lotsa beer for me."

"Bread and water, I tell you," Satake whined. "Bread and water!"

* * *

><p>As Kaidan put a glass of ice water on his tray, Ashley picked up two slices of bread, "They were up to something, LT."<p>

"They are always up to something," Kaidan told her as he moved towards the Officer's table.

"True," Ashley admitted as she dropped her tray next to Monica Negulesco but then continued to follow Kaidan to the officer's table, "But this time was different. They were carting a crate off the Normandy. I tried to catch up but they went into a service tunnel … I need a pass."

"Ashley," Kaidan answered, "There are crates coming and going constantly from the Normandy right now. We are almost about to leave … remember? They were probably going to pick up supplies … nothing more."

Ashley shook her head, "LT, those two were looking around all nervous like."

Kaidan stopped at the table and holding his tray looked at her, "What do you think Satake and Chase were up to?"

"No good," Ashley told him. "I think you might want to do a head count. They seemed real nervous … as if they were carting a body."

Kaidan put his tray down and gave a smile, "You need to get off this ship, Ashley … Staying onboard is making you think some odd things."

"Fine, don't believe me," Ashley frowned. "But when we have a UA … just remember what I saw."

"I'll remember," Kaidan smiled as she walked back to her breakfast and left him to his.

* * *

><p>Shepard remembered the first time that she had seen the walking park … It had opened just two years prior and was built on the level just below the main gym. Before the walking park was there it had housed offices and labs for a department within the Alliance that was heavily restricted. But the department had since relocated off the Arc leaving the area empty and waiting on a new life … Al Whelan, the owner of the Athletica Gym, rented the area from the Alliance and converted it into a walking park that had a running path on the outside. Part of the agreement was that Alliance personnel could have free use of the park and Whelan easily agreed. The park was designed to look as if it was outdoors with streams, fake trees and plants all staged below a fake sky that was for 16 hours day and 8 hours night. It was nowhere near as nice as the Presidium but for those who had never been to the Citadel … the park was impressive. Today the park was closed for <em>maintenance<em> … or at least that was the reason given.

Whelan had taken an instant liking to Shepard when he met her four years ago and so when she asked him for a favor … a favor that if failed could cost him his gym … well … what could anyone expect a crazy Irishman to do? He gladly accepted. So here they stood in the empty park, next to one if the tunnel doors … waiting.

"You did tell them eight AM?" Whelan asked as he splashed more whiskey into his coffee and then offered her some from his flask.

"Yes," Shepard answered as she waved away his offer, "Eight AM at door 88G."

Whelan tried again to offer her whiskey and Shepard shook her head, "No thank you … you know I try and stay alcohol free until the evenings."

"What kind of life is that?" he asked.

"One that does not end up with me attending AA meetings," she laughed. "If I am going to become addicted to anything let it be of the sexual kind and not the liquid."

"Sexual addiction can be costly," Whelan told her. "I have four ex-wives to prove it!"

Shepard smiled as the knock was heard … _Shave and a haircut, two bits_.

Whelan rolled the door open as Chase called out, "A special delivery for Commander Shepard."

Shepard smiled at her two accomplices as they rolled the crate in and after a few minutes of struggle, the crate was opened and Whelan was looking at his first ever … in person … krogan.

"Where am I?" Wrex asked as he moved towards the stream and his two delivery boys scampered off to the Thirsty Turtle.

"A walking park," Shepard smiled as he looked at the running water. "I thought you would like a change from your strolls on the Normandy."

"Don't do me any favors, Shepard," he growled, making Whelan take a step back.

Shepard frowned, "Don't worry … I won't! You wanted to see me and meeting here was easier … for me!"

Wrex growled again and then turned away from her. "Are you sure that you will be safe alone with it?" Whelan whispered.

"I'm sure," Shepard answered, "He just likes to bark."

As Shepard walked Whelan towards the elevator to the main gym, Wrex watched her. His growling at Shepard was not anger but concern as he had quickly determined that Shepard had taken a risk by bringing him here. Granted, he had felt cooped up on the ship and as he watched the asari and quarian exit and enter the Arc it had angered him slightly. He was a krogan! He could go anywhere he liked and no one could stop him. But as he looked at Shepard, struggling to keep her crew and ship together so they could find Saren … He would temper his anger and walk in the Normandy gym. Walk. Walk. Walk.

Now as he looked around he was glad to be somewhere new … some place with a feel of outside … no matter that it wasn't real. It wasn't the Normandy's gym but the Arc. _Hmmph_! He walked over to a wall and touched it. No krogan had ever been on the Arcturus Station … _until now_. He contemplated leaving his mark on the wall ... a splash of his blood ... but no … touching the wall would have to be enough. _This time_. He then took to the pathway and brought his mind back to Shepard risking too much just for him to walk in this place. He was carefully looking around, flicking his tongue on occasion to see if he sensed others when he saw the owner disappear into an elevator and Shepard turn to look at him.

He watched her walk over to him and even though it pleased him as they started walking together on the path … he scolded her, "You should not be so foolish! We could have met on the Normandy."

Shepard could feel herself getting angry at the _ungrateful beast_! "Next time," she growled back. "I wanted to get a good walk in this morning before my busy day started and thought I would kill two birds with one stone. Next time I'll leave you on the Normandy to rot!"

Seeing her angry made Wrex laugh hard and with Shepard standing so close, she could feel his voice ripple through her. The vibration made her think of a concert that she and Manny had gone to years ago, where they had stood too close to the speaker. "You would need more than a stone to kill me."

"Don't push me," she glared at him. At almost eight feet and weighing a ton, Shepard knew that she would need a boulder at the least and even that might not work.

"If I wanted to push you, Shepard … I would," he turned away from her and picked up his pace. Shepard rushed after him as she quickly moved through his blind spots. Even with his 240-degree vision, Shepard had heard of people being crushed accidently by krogans as they stood in their blind spots. When she was around him she made sure that she not only avoided these areas but also that her crew was aware of where to stand and not to stand around him as well. Last thing she needed was a dead soldier because he found himself between a wall and Wrex.

Now as they walked together both were silent for the first fifteen minutes. Wrex looking at the fake trees and flowers while listening for intruders and Shepard, still steaming, plugged in to her iMuse and hearing the Smiths tell her that there was panic on the streets of London. _Yeah, well_, Shepard grumbled to herself, _there's going to be blood in this park if he keeps being a jerk!_

After a quarter of an hour, Wrex carefully tapped her on the arm. She removed her ear buds and looked over at him as they continued to walk, "What?"

Wrex could see that she was still angry at him and he both liked and hated it. Liked to see the spark in her but hated to be the cause of her anger. He had not cared for anyone or anything in centuries and looking down at the fragile human he felt … protective. "Are you sure that there'll be no more delays?"

Shepard turned away from him, focusing on the path ahead, "I'm sure."

Wrex let a few more minutes pass and then commented on how Saren would be on the run now that he had been exposed. "There's no place for him to hide now."

"No," Shepard agreed. "At least I hope there isn't."

Wrex started adjusting his left gauntlet, "But don't underestimate him, Shepard. He's rotten ... to the core."

Shepard stopped and grabbed Wrex's arm to help him, "Okay, dad. I won't go to the prom with him."

"What?" Wrex pulled away from Shepard, "What is this prom?"

Shepard laughed as she grabbed his gauntlet again, "It's a joke!"

"This is no time for jokes," Wrex scolded her for the second time as she tightened the strap. "Saren is black inside … I could tell as soon as I met him."

"What?" Now it was Shepard's turn to pull away. "You met him?"

"This was a while ago," Wrex explained as they began walking again. "A bunch of mercs were bragging about a job near the edge of the Terminus Systems. They said it paid well and the boss was never around to ride them. They said he was looking for men, too. So … I checked it out."

Shepard stopped and as she placed her right foot on a rock to tie her loose shoe string asked, "So Saren was openly recruiting mercs?"

"It wasn't that open," Wrex answered. "And he only showed his face once. We'd been raiding ships in the area for months when we took out this massive cargo freighter ... Our biggest haul yet. I was on board checking bodies …" Wrex stopped and turned away as he was about to say _for valuables, looking for some extra credits._

"Checking bodies?" Shepard asked as she dropped her foot back on the ground and began walking again.

Wrex, not wanting to remember or admit his pilfering of the dead, moved on, "That's when I saw him."

Shepard knew that Wrex had avoided the question but didn't push, "What did Saren want with the ship?"

"I don't know what he wanted," Wrex admitted. "He was just moving through the ship. Watching. Couple of the mercs called him by name, but he never spoke to them. Never spoke to anyone. I had a really bad feeling about him … so I got the hell out. Didn't even wait to get paid."

As Shepard listened to Wrex she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. The thought of Wrex being scared enough to leave without pay … this same krogan who had debased himself by stealing from the dead ... this was not what she wanted to hear. They didn't speak for another few minutes as each thought about what Wrex had said and then she asked, "Wrex, what kind of cargo was the freighter carrying? I mean was their anything that you saw he might want?"

"I don't know," Wrex answered her. "All I saw on that ship was food and medical supplies. There were some basic weapons, but nothing big. If there was anything of value on that ship, I didn't see it. That's why I didn't mention it sooner."

_Food and medical supplies_? Shepard didn't know what to think. "Whose ship was it?"

"It was a volus trading vessel," Wrex answered. "Big one, lots of guards. But they were no match for us."

"Hmm," Shepard picked up her pace, "And that's the only time you saw him?"

"Yeh," Wrex answered as he quickened his pace, "Didn't even know who he was ... Still wouldn't if I hadn't joined up with you."

"Do you remember who lead it?" Shepard asked. "Did he have a person overseeing the missions?"

"Turian named Ampelius Ovidius," Wrex answered.

"Maybe this … Amplifier Overydius won't be as hard to track as Saren," Shepard said more to herself then Wrex.

"Who?" Wrex did not understand Shepard's twisting of the namr.

"Nothing," Shepard mumbled back as her mind raced. _Running short of funds? Need these items for an army? A non-geth army? Both? What are you up to?_

As Shepard walked on in silence, Wrex was worried. He had looked into Saren's eyes and seen death. "Shepard!"

"Yes?" she answered, looking back at him.

"My instincts were right," he told her. "Every other merc on that mission turned up dead within a week. Every damn one."

"Even this Ovidius Clamydius?" she asked.

"No," Wrex answered, moving ahead of her. "Ampelius Ovidius was Saren's man … not one of the mercs."

"Do you think there is a way to track him down?" Shepard asked him.

"Maybe," Wrex answered. "I have a contact on Eletania … in the Attican Beta. He might be able to assist us."

"Well, that's a start," Shepard said. "Once we finish at the Citadel we'll head to Eletania."

"The asari could not locate her mother?" Wrex asked.

"Liara?" Shepard looked up at the clouds, "No, she couldn't help."

"What are you going to do with her?" Wrex asked.

"She's the reason we're returning to the Citadel. I'll hand her off to the asari councilor," Shepard answered. "What else can I do with her?"

"Keep her as leverage against this Matriarch," he advised.

Shepard shook her head as she stopped walking, "No. I want her off my ship."

Wrex stopped and turned to look at her, "Does she still bother you?"

"Bother me?" Shepard asked, "I just think that if we have to fight her mother it would be best if she … she … why do you think she bothers me?"

Wrex laughed, "I've seen you around her kind, Shepard. You act like Satake does around spiders."

"Oh," Shepard hated how everyone commented on her response to the asari. "Please don't tell me he squeals like a little girl or faints."

"No," Wrex answered. "He looks at them hoping they will disappear as he backs up."

"I can't say that sounds any better," Shepard grumbled. "I haven't acted that way around her … or been rude to her lately … have I?"

"Lately? Wouldn't know," Wrex turned to walk, "Haven't seen you with her since Therum."

_Therum_, Shepard cringed. "So why tell me now? About Saren?"

"To warn you," he answered. "Here on the human Alliance station I see you come and go … alone. Don't make this a habit outside of this place. It's a risk that could lead to your death. You're not a god, Shepard."

Shepard looked at the krogan. Just a half hour ago and she wanted to hit him … now she wanted to hug him. "Thank you, Wrex."

"Don't thank me," Wrex barked. "Just don't be foolish."

_Well that moment passed quick_, she thought to herself as she wanted to hit him again. "Fine, Wrex."

As they walked a little longer together, Wrex broke the silence with, "2001 Verne Street."

Shepard almost smiled at the address of her childhood home but kept a poker face, "Okay. What is that?"

"A place that an ugly pup lived," he answered, wanting to know if this was her. If this warrior was that little pup that he had met on Mindoir almost two decades prior.

"She was only ugly because she'd been in a fight," Shepard said, not looking at him or stopping.

Wrex stopped her, looked her in the face ... "No. She is still ugly."

"But at least she can swim," she responded as she broke away and walked over to the stream.

"Shepard, the ugly fish!" he laughed as he went back to his walk.

"Wrex, the drowning fish!" she responded as she looked at the stream and thought about Ampelius Ovidius.


	41. Tea for Two

The fields were ready to be harvested, the hills green and the temperature cool … Liara had always loved Lusia and living on the T'Soni plantation where the sitruuna grew. This place had held some of her fonder memories. She heard the cry of her favorite bird, the terotisis, off in the distance and it made her smile. She must have dozed off as she looked around and saw that she was lying on a red blanket, basket of food to her right, bottle of water next to it and a sketch pad on her lap. As she sat up and stretched her smile widened … It was so good to be in a place that she felt comfortable and safe.

"Liara!" Matriarch Benezia called out to her daughter and Liara looked over at the main house where the Matriarch was standing in a yellow dress and waving at her, "The meal will be served in an hour! Don't fall asleep or get so engrossed in your sketching that you are late!"

"Yes, mother!" she answered and then watched as the Matriarch walked back into the house. "Bliss," she moaned as she stretched again and then picked up her pad and looked at her favorite tree. As she started sketching the tree, the breeze picked up and it felt good against her face, bare legs and arms. The sound of the wind rustling through the leaves reminded her of Akdhat's _EtZev _and she began humming it. As she found herself halfway through the sketch, she stopped, leaned her head back and enjoyed the cool breeze against her face ... _Yes, bliss_.

Returning to her sketching, her light was blocked by someone … someone causing a shadow to fall over her and the pad. She gave a sigh and without looking up waved the person away. But the shadow remained. "Would you please move?" she asked frustrated but still not looking up. The shadow remained. She could not believe the rudeness of this person. She gave a sound of disgust as she looked up over her left shoulder "Would you plea… Oh, Commander?"

Shepard was leaning against the tree and wearing a white sheer Venustas dress, Liara's favorite asari designer. "Am I interrupting?"

"No," Liara put her hand over her sketch pad and smiled. Shepard had never seemed as beautiful as she was in that moment to Liara … She was also excited to see the human in her world.

Shepard hearing Liara's answer smiled as the wind blew her hair and caused her dress to rise slightly, revealing her thighs, "Is that for me?"

Liara took her eyes off Shepard's legs and looked at where the Commander was looking … "Oh, my sketch. Would it please you to have it?" she asked, starting to wonder how the Commander found her.

"Yes, it would please me greatly," Shepard put her hands on a low tree branch and swung slightly forward. "Is this your hiding place?"

"Yes ... I can see my tree from here," Liara looked over at it, "I love the way she curves and hangs."

"She?" Shepard asked as she craned her neck to see Liara's pad. "Don't tell me you also named her!"

"Yes … _she_ … but no, I did not name her," Liara giggled as she hid her pad from Shepard's eyes, "And don't peek!"

"Sorry," Shepard smiled as she brushed the hair out of her face and sat down next to Liara.

"What are you doing here, Commander?" Liara asked as she moved a little closer to Shepard.

"I don't know," Shepard smiled at her and then looked over at her tree. "You wanted me here ... Just like that tree ... Just like the Matriarch."

Liara watched fascinated as Shepard's dark hair moved in the wind, hiding Shepard's face occasionally as it wrapped around her … "What I want? When have you ever done what I wanted?"

This made Shepard give a throaty laugh, "True! But this is your dream … not mine."

"Dream?" Liara looked around and back at Shepard. "Is it?"

Shepard moved close to Liara and placing her forehead and nose on Liara's whispered, "It is."

"Hmm," she blushed as she nervously moved away from Shepard.

"Do I make you nervous?" Shepard asked as she leaned over Liara and grabbed a piece of fruit from the basket.

"No … I just …," being this close to her was making Liara feel funny ... and weak. "This is a dream?"

"Hm,hm," Shepard answered, looking at the fruit.

"A dream," Liara was confused and to get control of herself she looked at Shepard's hands.

"You desire these," Shepard teased, as she bit into the fruit and splayed her fingers of her right hand on the blanket between them.

Shepard's words made her think thoughts of desire and so she turned away still struggling to get control, "Even in my dreams you make me feel foolish!"

Shepard laughed, "I am what you are making me, Liara. Try making me sweeter if this displeases you."

"Hmmph! Sweeter!" She turned and looked at the Commander. "If it is my dream then … you should … you … you ... What do you do?" This last part was aimed at herself. What did she want from Shepard? What did she want her to do? Shepard was just a human … not an asari. What would this human do?

"What do I do? Whatever you want," Shepard answered as she took another bite and tried peeking at the sketch again.

Seeing the Commander so playful made Liara giggle again as she turned the pad upside down, "Stop peeking."

"Sorry," Shepard answered and then they were silent.

In that silence, Liara looked at the Commander. Without fear of reproach, she looked at her features … at her lips … at her hands … at her breasts … at her long legs … she took her time and was confident that she could please Shepard. As Shepard returned her gaze, she thought of her tongue in places that … _Stop Liara, this is just a dream!_ She reminded herself. _If the Commander found out that you were thinking these thoughts … that you wanted to ... Oh, Goddess! _She did want her and it was making her feel light headed. But she also remembered her mother's words … _not all things are meant to be taken_. Was this one of those _things_? She had dreamt of touching others before but somehow this was different. This was … _her_. Commander Shepard, the daughter of Hannah. She was not like any one she had ever met before … and she was a human!

Shepard tilted her head, the breeze blowing her hair back in her face again and it prompted Liara to reach out and brush it back, "I have wanted to do this since our dinner."

"Have you?" Shepard's eyes seemed to be laughing in her dream. "Why?"

"I've often wondered what your hair felt like," Liara said softly as she continued to brush her hair back with her right hand. "The Commander would not be upset if I just did this … would she?"

"No, Liara," Shepard reached up, grabbed her hand, turned it palm side up and kissed it, "But would she be upset that I did that?"

Liara caught her breath, her head swimming and she knew in that moment that she wanted Shepard to do more than that … She wanted more than just look at Shepard … more than just look at her green dancing eyes … she wanted touch her … to have Shepard desire her touches ... but she was afraid. "Shepard … you should go," Liara told her as she ran her hand over Shepard's, "I read that humans are very … selective and … more reserved."

"Are we?" Shepard asked as Liara pulled away from her. "I don't know Liara … I bet I've had more lovers than you."

"What?" Liara did not like to think of that and wondered why Shepard said it. This was her dream and yet she was feeling disjointed. She turned away from Shepard and looked up at the sky which had begun to turn dark. "A storm is moving in."

Shepard looked up at the dark clouds, "Do they worry you?"

Liara looked over at Shepard's profile, "You worry me … you must leave before …"

"Before?" Shepard turned to face Liara and smiled as Liara, weakening, touched Shepard's lips with her fingers. She wanted to kiss her … to taste the inside of her mouth … but her fear of discovery stopped her. Shepard leaned towards her and asked, "Why do you hesitate?"

"This is not appropriate! What if Shepard ever found out what I …" Liara stopped.

"What would Shepard do if she found out that you not only took advantage … but also treated her as an asari?" Shepard laughed with a wink as she pointed to the dress.

"You are teasing me," Liara frowned. "Even in my dreams you can torment me!"

"I think I'll tell Shepard what you are thinking," Shepard taunted and then began laughing harder. Liara felt herself getting angrier and then the heavens opened and the two were quickly drenched by rain.

Shepard didn't seem to notice as she kept smiling at Liara … "Shepard, we need to seek shelter!"

"It's too late," Shepard said as the skies became darker. "Let's just enjoy it!"

"No!" Liara gave a small shriek as she stood up, her sketch pad falling to the ground.

"My picture," Shepard yelled over the storm but Liara grabbed her hand that was reaching for the destroyed sketch ... and they began running for the house.

Just a few feet from the house, Shepard stopped, bringing Liara to a stop as well, "How do you feel about me?"

"What?" Liara asked, as she started pulling Shepard toward the porch.

"Tell me how you feel about me!" she demanded as the rain fell harder.

"Shepard! Please! We can discuss this in the house!" she said.

"Time is running out!" Shepard told her, the rain increasing. "I need to know how you feel!"

Liara, seeing Shepard drenched and vulnerable … her dress clinging to her body and rain running down her beautiful face … knew how she felt about her. She wanted her. She didn't care that Shepard was human or arrogant or insufferable at times … she desired her. And as she forgot about the rain, about her fear of discovery, and gave in to that desire … putting her hand on Shepard's breast as she went to kiss her … in that moment the dream was gone.

* * *

><p>The dream was replaced by a night light next to the door leading from the sleeping quarters into the med bay. Liara, frustrated and wide awake, looked at the time … 02:44. The Normandy would be less active, areas dimmed, the sleep pods full, the mess hall empty or almost empty. She could make herself a cup of sitruuna with a small risk of seeing anyone else. As Liara sat up in bed, she could still see Shepard in the rain and it made her smile, then frown. <em>Don't be foolish<em>, Liara told herself. _In two days you'll never see her again._ Two days … The Normandy was just two days out from the Citadel and she had rarely talked to the Commander after they had left the Arc.

Five days and she had seen her every morning in the gym as she performed her Anskrit and Shepard t'ai chi ch'uan. But while they saw each other they had never spoken outside of an occasional good morning. She had hoped to share meals with the Commander at least, but Shepard was taking her meals in her stateroom with guests … normally her XO and on occasion the quarian … but never her. She had wondered if she had done something to cause the Commander displeasure. She had mentioned her concern to Joker and he had told her that Shepard had a lot of responsibilities and not to take it to heart. After being so kind in his answer he then went on to ask her if she had ever been a stripper. That was Joker.

Dr. Chakwas was mumbling in her sleep across the room as Liara quietly got up from her bed and stepped out of her nightgown. She then put on a pair of pants and a shirt, grabbing her shoes on the way out and slipped past a snoring Joker in the med bay. Once outside, she sat down at the Officer's table and put on her shoes as she heard the trio at the main table talking about heading to Flux once they were back on the Citadel. _The Citadel_, she frowned. If she was to leave the Normandy she would have preferred Thessia but something told her that she was not going to be free to do as she pleased. No … Every move she made would be watched and she highly doubted that the Councilor would let her return home while the Matriarch was suspected of treason. _From one prison to another_, she thought as she stood up.

As she entered the kitchen area she pulled out the sitruuna and a tea kettle. She really wished that she had T'Soni leaves in place of the cheaper leaves sold on the Arc … and a real sitruuna serving set. When it came to her sitruuna, Liara would freely admit that she was a snob ... Sitruuna should come from T'soni leaves and served in a proper Thessian serving set. But here she was using inferior leaves in a human tea set and it made her think of her set left on Therum. As she filled the kettle with water she sighed … "You're up awfully early, doctor."

Liara felt herself blush at the sound of Shepard's voice and with the dream still fresh in her mind she did not turn around when she answered, "I was awakened by a noise and thought a cup of sitruuna might relax me."

"Sitruuna?" She heard Shepard say behind her. "That's asari tea, right?"

"Yes, Commander," Liara answered as she placed the kettle on the stove, still not looking at her.

"Chakwas tells me that it's even better than English tea," Shepard said. "Although, that might get her UK card taken away from her."

Liara knew that she had to look at Shepard or appear rude ... so she took a breath and turned around. Shepard was dressed casual and holding a Snicker in her left hand, "Are you having trouble sleeping, Commander?"

"Me?" Shepard looked over at the trio, "Always." Then turned back to Liara, "But at least it means that I've just caught up on all my reports to the Council … my unofficial reports to the Alliance and …" Shepard held up her candy bar, "… dessert!"

"I see," Liara smiled; fighting the desire that seeing Shepard stirred in her. "Well, I won't keep you from your … dessert, Commander." And with that Liara turned away from Shepard and picked up the sitruuna … praying that the Commander would go away.

Shepard had never seen Liara like this … not just dismissive but … cold. She didn't like it and wondered if she had done something to upset the asari … "Well, I thought I'd check in on Lt. Felawa on the bridge before I turned in."

"Good night, Commander," Liara said, her back still to the Commander.

As Shepard turned to leave she stopped … No, she didn't like this. And if something bothered her she would do everything she could to fix it. So Shepard turned around, "Doctor?"

Liara took another deep breath, trying to push away her dream and then turned around, "Yes, Commander?"

Shepard looked into Liara's eyes, "Would you mind terribly if I had sitruuna with you?"

The thought of sharing sitruuna with Shepard made Liara feel her heart beat faster. Sitruuna had in times past been a part of the mating ritual between asari lovers. Looking at Shepard, thinking of showing her the ritual and then … her heart raced faster, "No, Commander ... That would be nice. Is your room okay?" Liara wanted her alone.

"Yes," Shepard gave a small smile. "We haven't had a chance to talk and with you leaving us soon … well … I was hoping that we might have a little time together at least. I'll meet you in my room once I'm done."

"Of course," Liara returned the smile and began humming _EtZev_ once the Commander disappeared from sight.

* * *

><p>Liara had hoped that Shepard had returneed to her room before the sitruuna was ready … as she wanted to enter the way she had been trained by her mother. She knew that the seduction would need to be lightened but she had wanted to show Shepard her grace. But she had not seen her return from the bridge when she picked up the tray of tea and sweets and headed for the Commander's stateroom. As the door opened her pulse quickened as she not only heard her <em>EtZev<em> but it was the version by NovaGrecia. As she placed the tray on the table in the sitting area, she could tell by the piece that Shepard had been listening to it when she had left her room … _She knows EtZev?_ Liara was amazed as she walked over to the iMuse and was tempted to see if Shepard had more pieces by her favorite composer, Akdhat. As she started to return to the sitting area, the sketch that she had given to the Commander caught her eye. It was placed on her desk and it made Liara smile.

"I couldn't leave it on the Arc," she heard Shepard say from behind her.

Liara turned to see Shepard smiling at her, "I am honored to see it here."

"I'm glad," Shepard looked at the tray, "You haven't been waiting long, I hope."

"No, Commander," she answered, sitting down across from Shepard.

"Good," Shepard was tired but wanted to make sure that Liara was okay, "And please ... stop with the Commander … call me Shepard."

"Shepard," Liara smiled and then poured the tea without ceremony.

"That's better," Shepard sat down, rubbed her right eye and placed her half-eaten candy bar on the table.

Liara could see that Shepard had not been getting enough rest as she took her seat, "Shepard, this music …"

"Hmm," Shepard looked at Liara turn her cup counter-clockwise, "_EtZev_."

"It's my favorite," Liara smiled as she blew on her tea, "How do you know it?"

Shepard gave a small laugh as she picked up her cup, "When I was a kid, a shuttle that my parents and I were on was diverted to Illium … batarian attacks … it was playing in the port. I asked some cra …" Shepard stopped, thinking that Liara might be offended if she called an asari crazy, "Uh … an asari and she told me what it was."

_That female I met actually asked me about EtZev … can you imagine a human who actually hears the beauty in that?_ The words of Sibila, her cousin came back to her … the same day she met Shepard's parents … her cousin had met Shepard. She looked at Shepard and wanted to share that day but no … she could not forget that this woman in front of her was hunting her mother … no. It would not be right. Instead, Liara amazed that a human did like the piece asked, "You really like Akdhat? You can hear the beauty in her works?"

This made Shepard laugh harder, "Why are you asari so amazed when I say I love this piece? Does it require some special decoder ring to understand or enjoy it?"

"Forgive me, Shepard," Liara said. "We are not accustomed to others hearing what we hear in Akdhat or any of our ancient music. Other species do not have Aνε:ιρ/οι."

"Apology accepted," Shepard said, "but what is onekporie?"

"Aνε:ιρ/οι," Liara corrected, "there is no real translation … to simplify its meaning is to say old hearing, but even that would be inaccurate."

"Onkepoirie?" Shepard struggled to move her tongue like Liara.

Seeing Shepard try and speak the old asari language made Liara giggle, "Shepard, the language of my ancestors is too complicated for your tongue."

"Don't underestimate my tongue, T'Soni," Shepard shot back.

"Of course not," Liara blushed as she grabbed her cup.

Shepard, realizing how that sounded, blushed at what she had said and quickly took a drink of the sitruuna. "Hmmm, this is nice ... Chakwas was not kidding ... better than her tea."

Liara smiled at Shepard as she enjoyed being with her … Sitting in the Commander's room, listening to the beauty of Akdhat, sharing cups of sitruuna, Shepard trying to speak her language and most importantly, being alone with her. She looked over at the bed and thought of her dream, desire pulling at her but she turned away … knowing that the Commander had never displayed desire towards her ... or if she had, Liara had missed it. There were moments that Liara thought the Commander was flirting with her but she couldn't be sure. Humans confused her ... and especially the woman sitting across from her. "How long will you be on the Citadel, Shepard?"

"Not too long," Shepard put down her sitruuna, and rose to select the next song as _EtZev_ was ending. "A day or two … maybe." As the Corrs began singing _Runaway_, Shepard looked over at Liara, "I've never really asked about you … What is your life like when not running around with me?"

"Me?" Liara was caught off-guard by the question.

Shepard, after selecting the next few songs, returned to her seat, "Yes, you."

"I am afraid I am not very interesting, Commander … Shepard," Liara said as she put down her cup. "I spend most of my time on remote digs … unearthing mundane items buried in long-forgotten prothean ruins."

"Mundane items?" Shepard raised her brow as she lifted her cup, "I'm sure that the relics aren't mundane to you … or why go crawling around in the dirt for them? Wht leave behind you family … your boyfriend or girlfriend … your home?"

"I did not mean to imply mundane to me," Liara explained, "I much prefer discovering such items. I have recovered pieces that were in perfect condition … On Kharditsa alone I discovered an ornate piece of jewelry …" Liara seeing Shepard's dark green eyes focused so intently on her made her lose her train of thought, as her mind wandered back to her dream.

"Jewelry?" Shepard grinned as she got up, excited, and grabbed her pouch off her desk, "I have a prothean jewelry that was given to my mother. It saved my life once." Shepard pulled it out and Liara began to feel herself tear up.

"It … it saved your life?" she asked, as Shepard handed it to her.

"Mindoir," Shepard answered, sitting down again. "My Aunt Mel calls it my lucky charm … have you seen anything like it before?"

Liara had not held the piece in her hand in over twelve years … "It's lovely ... it looks like the piece I recovered on Kharditsa." _The very same piece, actually. _Liara thought to herself ... _It saved her!_

Shepard was still amazed how she enjoyed talking with the asari ... with Liara and wished that they had met under different circumstances. With the Matriarch sitting between them, she knew that trusting the asari could be dangerous. So no matter how much she enjoyed her company … trust was not on the table. True friendship could not be extended. And if she killed her mother ...

Liara could see that Shepard's mind had went away to a darker place and so she poured them both another cup as she tried to distract her from those thoughts, "It probably does not seem very exciting to someone like you ... Pitchers, bowls, writings, walls … But slowly brushing away the years … seeking out history's lost secrets … it holds a special appeal for me."

"Uh-oh … you've realized that I'm an impatient dullard." Shepard laughed, as she came back from the darkness.

"No, Comm… Shepard," Liara worried that in her talks with Shepard she would appear the dullard. "I would give a century of my life to discover a beacon like the one you found on Eden Prime ... You were actually touched by a working prothean beacon!"

"Touched?" Shepard smiled, as she watched Liara turn the jewelry over in her hands. "More like hit! Or bitch slapped!"

As Shepard watched Liara … she watched Shepard copy how she had turned her own cup counter-clockwise and it made her want her more … "That is why I find you so fascinating, Commander."

"Fascinating?" Shepard smiled. "That doesn't mean you want to dissect me in a lab somewhere … does it, Doctor?"

"What?" Liara put her cup down, "No! I did not mean to insinuate … ah, I never meant to offend you, Shepard."

"Then what did you mean," Shepard pushed, enjoying the tease.

Liara put her hands in her lap, "I only meant that you would be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study. No … that's even worse!"

Shepard began to laugh as she reached out and took Liara's hands, "Calm down, Liara. I was only joking."

"Joking?" Liara looked at Shepard's hand holding hers, "Oh, by the Goddess! How could I be so dense? You must think I am a complete and utter fool."

"No," Shepard let her hand go as she sat back, "the only fool here is me."

"You?" Liara leaned forward, "Commander, you have a gift … you can lead people anywhere. There is a battlemaster on this ship that would die for you. A krogan following a human! "

Shepard shook her head, "It's not that impressive ... He's following me just so he can be there when I get my next black eye and bloody nose. Once that happens … he's gone. If we don't kill each other first!"

"No, Shepard," she said, "he cares about you as well as every other person on this ship."

"Do they?" Shepard smiled. "And you? Tell me, Ms. T'Soni … Are you still wanting to punch me?"

Liara gave a small laugh, "I have never wanted to punch you."

"No?" Shepard tilted her head.

"Shepard," Liara smiled as she took a drink. "Maybe once."

"Uh-huh," Shepard grinned as Kylie Minogue's _Shocked_ began to play.

The two looked at each as they finished their sitruuna and Liara wished that Shepard had been born an asari. It would make her less confused but she also knew that it would have changed her … If only she could talk to her mother. Tell her what she was feeling. Liara finally broke the silence, "I never properly thanked you for saving me from the geth, Commander ... If you hadn't shown up …"

"No need to thank me," Shepard said in a serious tone. "I'm just glad that we got there in time."

"Shepard, If you find her …" Liara stopped and looked away at the sketch of the tree on Lusia.

Shepard seeing the pain and thinking of her own mother looked down at the table, "Liara, I'll do everything in my power … everything I can to bring her back alive ... But I can't promise ... I can't."

"I know," Liara said so softly that Shepard could barely hear her words. "Just try … please."


	42. Barbarian or Genteel

"I'm sorry," Shepard said as she stood before the asari Councilor's holographic image. "But I can't do that."

"Commander?" Councilor Tevos appeared to be caught off-guard by Shepard's response.

"I don't feel comfortable with this change in plans, Councilor." Shepard answered with an even tone.

"Comfortable?" Tevos appeared slightly agitated now, "And with this lack of … _comfort_ ... you are no longer willing to put her under my authority?"

"That depends," Shepard answered, "If putting her under your authority means it has to be done in this new and very clandestine manner? Then yes … I am no longer willing to give her to you."

"Shepard, I am only trying to protect Dr. T'Soni," Tevos told her. "We need to limit those who knows that she is here on the Citadel. The Matriarch has eyes everywhere and with her questionable actions not being exposed to the public as of yet … she is free to roam and keep her resources. Dr. T'Soni is one of the Matriarch's primary concerns. I have no doubt that she will send for her."

"I see," Shepard leaned back on the conference table as she crossed her hands in front of her chest, "Given that risk … maybe Dr. T'Soni would be better on the Normandy."

The Councilor turned away leaving Shepard to look on her backside. Did Shepard have the asari Councilor on the ropes? She wondered. Just as Shepard was about to speak, the Councilor turned around. "Do you now doubt my intentions?"

"Intentions?" Shepard feigned confusion, "I don't understand."

The Councilor could be seen giving a slight shake to her head as Shepard heard a muffled voice in the background. _Hmm, so you are not alone as well_, Shepard thought as she looked over at Kaidan and Pressly. The two men were seated at the conference table to her right and were there as silent witnesses. Witnesses that she had not informed the Councilor of … Shepard had felt a little guilty but now that it appeared that the Councilor also had at least one witness … no more guilt.

"Then I will make it clear," Tevos answered. "Are you concerned that I might have plans to treat Dr. T'Soni in any way other than my protected guest? That there are some darker plans for her?"

"To be completely honest with you," Shepard said slowly and softly, "I do not pretend to understand your people … I do not pretend to know what you will or will not do when she is under your care … nor do I know what would be acceptable in the _treatment _of the good doctor. But what I do know is that I made a promise to her … a promise to keep her safe. I keep my promises to the best of my ability."

"I appreciate your honesty, Commander," Tevos smiled. "Let me also be honest … I have known the T'Soni's for over three centuries … I was there when Liara in her infancy was first presented in the temple at Armali … and I too made a promise to protect her. A promise made both to her mother and the Goddess Athame. So you see … you and I are of one mind in this matter ... Her protection and well-being."

Shepard thought of Liara standing on the ledge back on Therum … she had looked so scared and without hope. She thought of her own words … _If you take my hand you have my solemn oath that I'll keep you safe _... She had said them initially to keep Liara from jumping … but now she meant those words. That is why she knew that Liara needed to be removed from the Normandy. Staying on the Normandy might end in her death. Shepard could not see anyone standing idly by as someone killed their mother. No. But Shepard could not, without just cause, lead Liara to the slaughter elsewhere. So even hearing the Councilor's response, and believing the words spoken, she would not be swayed, "While I believe your words and mean you no disrespect … the change is concerning. I have no hesitation in escorting Dr. T'Soni to your offices on the Presidium … But I can't take her in back alleys to a residence in the Bachjret Ward."

"I can assure you, Commander, that she will be cared for," Tevos said, sounding slightly aggravated. "… cared for and protected. No harm will come to her."

"No," Shepard shook her head, determined that Liara's safety be publicly put into the Councilor's hands. "If you want _Liara_ … you will take possession of her in public … not in some back alley.

There were a few moments of silence as the Councilor, appearing deep in thought, left Shepard to patiently wait. Shepard had seen Liara do this on a few occasions … this pause before speaking ... though never with her. Now in this silence, Shepard remembered seeing Kaidan ask Liara if she was having a nice day and it took her a few minutes before she responded. It had fascinated Shepard how she appeared to be weighing her words before uttering them ... weighing small talk chatter. Prudent was the word that had come to mind and this hesitation of words was official now for Shepard. _It must be an asari thing,_ she thought. It made Shepard wonder what these creatures really thought but did not share.

Standing before the Councilor … waiting on a response, she heard her mother say, _Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. _Shepard had to stifle a laugh_, Well, mom, it seems that the asari would agree. _As the minutes ticked on, Shepard looked down at her hands … _Okay, taking time responding is one thing … But I'm thinking the Councilor's forgotten to let her tongue loose to answer. _

Shepard heard Kaidan move in his seat, Pressly put his coffee cup down and then … "When are you scheduled to dock, Commander?"

"In twelve hours," Shepard answered, looking up as she held her breath.

"To make you feel … _comfortable_ … you may have her escorted to my office," Tevos instructed without emotion, "I will make adjustments to my schedule. Good day, Commander."

"Councilor," Shepard could see that she was about to end the transmission and still had not reached her goal.

"Yes, Commander?" Tevos asked with a slight frost in her voice.

"Thank you for humoring me and my less than wise ways," Shepard said, as she silently prayed that she was successful in her plan. "Ambassador Udina was hoping to meet with Dr. T'Soni … He has requested to have her escorted to his office … I thought that you should know."

Tevos smiled, "I would prefer that she meet with me first, Commander. Dr. T'Soni is not to be questioned without one of her own people present … someone from my office."

"I understand, but …" Shepard frowned, "… to deny him access … to escort her past his offices on the way to you … well. I don't think that would be in my best interest. I'm sure that you can see where I still need the support of the Alliance."

Silence yet again as the Councilor thought and the muffled voice was heard.

When Shepard had received the e-mail from the Councilor, just a few hours past … an e-mail that changed the location to take Liara from the Councilor's office on the Presidium to an apartment in the Bachjret Ward … well … No. Shepard had decided the more public the exchange the better. The more people that saw Dr. T'Soni being placed into the asari Councilor's hands then the less likely harm would come to her. Or at least Shepard had hoped that would be the case. So here she was trying to manipulate the Councilor using her own Ambassador's request to push her to take possession under Alliance eyes. To take possession under the Citadel's eyes. To take possession on Docking Bay 94.

"The use of the Normandy … of course," Tevos gave a small bow of her head. "Your concern is understandable. Denying Ambassador Udina access would not be in your best interest … So let me take this matter out of your hands. A representative from my office will be sent to the Normandy upon arrival and escort Dr. T'Soni to my office. Is that acceptable, Commander?"

"Yes, Councilor," Shepard gave a small smile. "She will be ready to leave the Normandy when we dock."

"Commander," Tevos disconnected.

* * *

><p>"You did it," Kaidan sounded shocked that Shepard had succeeded in having the asari Councilor pick up Liara.<p>

"Not only did she agree," Pressly chimed in, "but you got her to suggest it! Amazing!"

"Hmm," Shepard wasn't so sure that she had really been leading that dance. "Yes, well … Kaidan, please let Liara know that she will be departing as soon as we dock."

"Yes, Shepard," Kaidan rose and left the conference room.

"Pressly," Shepard picked up her coffee cup, "Have Lt. Grenado follow Liara while we are on the Citadel. I want to know where she goes and where she is residing."

"Caroline?" Pressly was confused.

"Yes, Caroline," Shepard smiled. "She's had both training and real life military experience in this type of … assignment."

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly would need to review Staff Lieutenant Caroline Grenado's service records when he had a chance.

* * *

><p>Psyria, standing next to the sitting area, watched as an office staff served the sitruuna to the Councilor and Matriarch Lidanya. "I believe that the human thinks she just manipulated you, Councilor."<p>

"Yes," the Councilor smiled as she raised her cup to her lips. "It would seem."

The Councilor had received word from a source that the human Ambassador had planned on having Liara taken to him. An Alliance interrogator had just arrived on the Citadel and she doubted that this was just a coincidence. Allowing any of her people, especially a member of the Corallium Circle, to be questioned by humans was not acceptable. She had worried about Liara while she was on the Arcturus Station and had vowed that if anything had happened … Shepard and all involved would regret it. Now with Liara almost on the Citadel she had wanted to secure her straightaway. But how?

Tevos was well aware of the Commander's distaste for her kind … but had hoped that she had not misjudged Shepard's sense of honor and duty. That the Commander would still be protective over anyone placed in her care … even if that person was an asari. She also believed that the Commander was suspicious by nature and decided to use it to accomplish her goal. By switching the location of the hand off, she had hoped it would create doubt in the Commander and if carefully guided would lead her to where it did. The fact that the human had moved exceptionally well in the exchange made Tevos wonder how much in the dark Shepard really was. Every interaction with the human left Tevos just a little more fascinated.

"Did you notice that she called Dr. T'Soni by her first name?" Psyria smiled as the three were left alone. "Do you think that Dr. T'Soni may have seduced her?"

Tevos and Lidanya looked at each other and smiled.

Psyria seeing the exchanged pushed, "The Commander seemed protective and intimate when discussing her."

Tevos thought of the young asari at a party given a few decades prior … remembered her response to someone questioning her on dating a turian. Liara had not only looked disgusted but had pronounced that she would never be with anyone other than a Thessian. Tevos and the Matriarch had laughed about it later, knowing how life has a way of surprising each and every participant. _Commander Shepard could be one of those surprises_, she thought … but said, "No. Liara is very asari-centric. And the human is very … human.

"And didn't you say that this Shepard is also not appreciative of our kind?" Matriarch Lidanya added.

Tevos thought of their private talk together and smiled, "There is hope for the Commander. She just needs to see that not all of us are after her …"

"Mind?" Lidanya teased her lover.

"Is that what strong legs are being called now?" Psyria smiled.

Tevos laughed, shocked that Psyria had even noticed and then took a sip of her sitruuna.

* * *

><p>The Normandy had been docked for over a quarter of an hour and would be opened for boarding in another five to ten minutes. Liara had been packed and ready to leave for the past few hours and was now sitting in Dr. Chakwas' private room looking at her luggage. She knew that the Commander was somewhere in the CIC and told herself that if Shepard came to her … <em>I will tell her how I feel<em>.

Her hopes were raised when the door slid open but were quickly dashed as Kaidan stepped through. He was there to tell her that the Councilor had sent not only her executive assistant but a half dozen asari Commandos. It was really happening … the Commander was sending her away. Within a month she had went from hating being here to not wanting to leave. Not wanting to leave the Commander. _Please Shepard,_ she silently prayed, _please come see me_.

As she prayed, Kaidan was telling her how nice it was to have her around and how many in the crew would miss her. "Dr. Chakwas told me last night that it will not be the same without you here," he smiled. "And now the only other biotic will be Wrex …"

Liara smiled, knowing how Kaidan and Wrex rarely talked, but said nothing. She had to tell Shepard how she felt and ask if she felt the same way. She had to. Liara did not like unknowns and even though she was worried that the Commander would reject her … rejection was better than ignorance.

"I agree with Dr. Chakwas, it won't be the same without you here," Kaidan was telling her.

"Thank you, Kaidan," she heard herself say just as the Commander walked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Shepard stopped in the doorway. "I'll leave you two to …"

"No," both Liara and Kaidan said in unison.

"I was just leaving," Kaidan said, then turned and smiled at Liara, "It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope that we see each other again in the future … maybe the next time we are on the Citadel, we can have dinner."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Liara smiled back, but her mind was already on the woman standing just inside the room.

As Kaidan left the room, Shepard looked down at the luggage, "All ready to go, I see."

"Yes, Commander," Liara answered, looking at Shepard's shadow on the luggage_. Her shadow_. "Like the dream," she whispered as images of kissing Shepard made her heart race just a little faster.

"Dream?" Shepard asked.

"I've been packed since breakfast," Liara answered, avoiding the question.

"Well," Shepard moved farther into the room, "I don't blame you for wanting to get as far away from me as soon as you can."

"What?" Liara looked confused, "No … I will miss you."

"Is that so?" Shepard laughed, causing Liara to feel slightly embarrassed. "I thought that you found me rude and … lacking kind eyes."

"That is what I thought," Liara answered, "But I have learned so much about you this past month."

"And what is your verdict, doctor?" Shepard asked. "Are we a barbarian or genteel?"

Sometimes when Shepard spoke Liara felt a little lost … like now. But instead of struggle against what she did not understand she began her speech, "I did not really know much about your species when we first met, Shepard. I found it hard to take humanity seriously ... Your kind always seemed so rushed and high strung."

After thinking about the amount of patience it took waiting on the Councilor earlier she laughed, "That's because we are. Or at least if compared to your kind."

"Of course," Liara moved closer to Shepard. "But I have been watching you … you and your crew. It has taught me a lot about your species."

Shepard motioned for Liara to sit as she pulled up a chair for herself, "Studying us? I hope that within your sample you did not include me, Joker, Mancini or Satake. If you did …" Shepard whistled, "… I'm afraid I have no hope in you seeing the better qualities of humans."

"No, Shepard … you and … oh, you were joking," Liara hated not catching on to Shepard's humor before answering.

"Sorry," Shepard loved teasing Liara and wished that Ricky had been there. She knew that he would have lost his heart to the asari. "Go on."

Liara nodded, "You humans are creatures of action ... You pursue your goals with an almost indomitable determination. It is an admirable trait, but also an intimidating one."

Shepard thought of how the asari made her feel … cobras. Medusas. And here an asari was telling her that she felt intimidated by her? "Why would you be scared of us … of me?"

"Your kind has shown that it will do whatever it takes," Liara answered, "to get what it wants."

"Do you think that I'm so self-centered?" Shepard could feel herself getting a little angry. "That I'm just a bully?"

Liara could see that Shepard was getting upset and softened her voice, "Shepard, the rest of the galaxy does see humanity as something of a bully ... of being only concerned about your own personal wants and needs."

"So I'll take that as a yes?" Shepard raised a brow.

Liara shifted in her seat, "This belief is only reinforced when we see your kind run over everyone in your path to get what you want."

Shepard thinking of her parents … her family and friends knew that this was not true of all of humanity. She also knew that not all asari would be altruistic or self-sacrificing as Liara was portraying by her speech. No. Shepard would bet her home on Mindoir that greed, lust, envy and pride was found in the asari society. But she bit her tongue as her mother's voice rang in her spirit, _Elizabeth … Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent_. She took a breath and instead of challenge Liara on her own species … stayed focused on the conversation as is and said as gently as she could, "That is not all of us, Liara. There are plenty of humans who want to just be a part of the whole. Not feel as if they are shut out. Or willing to sell their soul for personal gain."

"Of course," Liara could see that the Commander was struggling with her temper. "That is why it's up to people like you to change their minds, Shepard."

"I don't care what the rest of the galaxy thinks about me," Shepard said more in anger than truth.

"But you should," Liara answered, as she began to guide the Commander. "The Council made you a SpecTRe because of what they saw in you. They have placed you in a position that will allow you to represent all that is good about your kind."

"No, Liara," Shepard stopped her. "They made me a SpecTRE for political reasons ... nothing more."

"You are special, Commander," Liara moved forward as she placed a hand on Shepard's. "You represent the best of what humanity can offer. As to your belief that you were approved solely for political reasons ... Councilor Tevos would not have allowed you the unlimited power granted if she did not believe in you."

Shepard looked at Liara's hand on top of hers, "Special? I'm not special, Liara."

"I looked into your history," Liara answered. "I know what you did during the Blitz ... It was a remarkable display of courage and heroism. It also hints at things that showed you were willing to sacrifice a part of yourself to see that others might be saved. There was no selfishness or cowardice in your actions there."

Shepard remembered a little girl around the age of four lying on the street shortly after the attack. Her eyes wide open, tears streaked on her cheeks, a leg curled up behind her back, blood on her dress, her guts no longer inside her, a dolly clutched … Shepard pulled her hand away from Liara's hand and stood up, "Why would you look up my history?"

"I apologize, Commander," Liara stood up and moved towards Shepard. "I was afraid that I would say something stupid again if I asked you."

"But why the interest?" Shepard pushing the dark image from her face, began to worry that Liara might have discovered what she had done there … or found hints of that darkness as she had with the protheans. "Why the research?"

"To understand what made you into the woman you are," Liara answered, knowing that it was now or never.

"If you want to know that," Shepard said as she rubbed her hands on her legs, "There are two graves in Savannah, Georgia. Go there and you will be in the presence of my creators ... my spiritual advisor and my protector."

Liara could see that Shepard was upset, "Your parents?"

"Yes," Shepard answered. "Anything that is good in me … what little there is was their doing. Not mine."

"There is more good in you then you realize, Commander," Liara told her.

"Yeh?" Shepard softened as she thought of her parents. "Well, if you pray any … could you tell my mother? I may not believe you but she might."

Liara could not help but marvel at Shepard's quick emotions and the ability to control them. The woman was still young, Liara thought, but so strong in spirit. "Something tells me, Shepard, that she would not need me to tell her how honorable and caring you are. I need to tell you, instead. You fail to see what she and I know as a truth about you."

"Thanks," Shepard smiled. "Well, I should probably let you finish whatever you need to … finish?"

As Shepard turned to go, Liara reached out and grabbing her by her arm blurted, "There's something compelling about you, Shepard."

"What?" Shepard turned her head to look at Liara. "Compelling? That's just the prothean vision in my head, doctor."

"I admit your connection to the protheans had something to do with my initial interest," she heard Liara say.

"You're interested in me?" Shepard had been almost a hundred percent sure that Liara had liked Kaidan.

"Interested?" Liara felt the side of Shepard's breast as she removed her hand, "It has grown beyond that ... You intrigue me, Shepard."

Shepard did not know what to say and so said nothing.

Liara moved closer to her silent audience, "But I am not sure if it is appropriate to act on my feelings."

_Feelings?_ Shepard swallowed. _What have you done, ol' Shep_? "Liara ... I … I don't date …" _asari _"… women."

"Commander, we asari are mono-gendered," Liara pressed. "_Male _and _female? _These terms do not have any real meaning for us."

Shepard leaned against the desk, looking at Liara becoming even more confused, as Liara went on.

"We do, however, have maternal instincts ...," she explained. "So perhaps we would fill what you consider a female role."

"You fill that role," Shepard nodded as she thought, _if it walks like a duck_ ….

"I'm sorry if this is awkward for you, Shepard," Liara said. "I'm only trying to be honest ... I feel as if we share some type of … connection."

"Liara," Shepard wanted to run … to be anywhere else then here with her. Shepard had plenty experience in turning down guys, girls and asari … but looking into Liara's blue eyes ... this was different. She did not want to hurt her … _do asari even feel like us? _Looking into Liara's eyes ... eyes that appeared vulnerable in that moment … Shepard thought that had the circumstances been different she may become a friend.

"Shepard?" Liara needed to know how the Commander felt.

"I'm with someone back on the Arc," she answered, using Liam even though they were not in a committed relationship. "Didn't I show you his picture at my apartment?"

Liara shook her head no … Shepard had neither shown his picture nor talked about him at that dinner. Why would she?

"No?" Shepard was struggling on how to get out of this, "I thought I had."

Liara not willing to give up so quickly asked, "Forgive me ... but I am not as adept at understanding human relationships as others may be … Does this relationship stop you from being with others?"

"Monogamy?" Shepard could feel her stomach tighten. "Uh, yes. Monogamy and all ... men don't like to share."

Liara didn't care about this Arc man and knew that her time was running out, "Shepard, but is there a mutual attraction between us? Do you desire me?"

Shepard looked away from Liara, "I'm sorry … I like you but … not like that."

"This is very embarrassing for me, Commander," Liara turned away.

The two stood looking away from each other in silence for what seemed hours when Dr. Chakwas entered. "Liara, are you ready?"

"Yes," Liara answered, her voice revealing nothing of what had just occurred.

Shepard finally looked over at Liara who was grabbing a few of her things and before she could say anything Liara was gone. She had not looked over at Shepard once after she had been rejected.

"Is there something wrong, Commander?" Dr. Chakwas asked as two of the crew picked up Liara's bags.

"No, doctor," Shepard answered, "Nothings wrong."

* * *

><p>As Liara exited the Normandy, Shepard went to her stateroom where her iMuse, set on shuffle when she had left, was playing <em>Better Off Dead<em> by ForeverAmber. The pounding bass, the chants of "you're better off dead" was too much and she ripped the player off the speaker and threw it across the room. _Why did the asari have to do that?_ She looked over at her desk where the sketch by Liara sat and Shepard moved quickly to it and slammed it face down … hiding it from her sight. "Why the fuck did you have to do that?" she cursed Liara aloud.

"Commander?" Pressly called over the comm. in her room.

Shepard pulled out her secret supply of whiskey and removing the cap took a good hard swallow.

"Commander Shepard?" Pressly called again.

Another good hard swallow, followed by "Yes, Pressly?"

"There is a turian requesting to board the Normandy," he said.

"A turian?" Shepard debated taking another a drink but decided to put it back in its hiding hole.

"A C-Sec detective named Garrus Vakarian," he answered. "He has asked to talk with you."

"Is that so?" Shepard frowned. "Fine. Have him escorted to the conference room and I'll be there in a few."

"Aye, aye, Commander."


	43. High Noon

Garrus had been thinking about this day since Shepard had left the Citadel. He felt strangled by his life and meeting her had awakened something in him. Hope. He had believed that as a C-Sec officer he would defend the weak, drag the guilty through the pedways and dispense justice. Instead he was held back at every turn as he watched the guilty, more often than not, walk away to commit even more crimes. He knew that if Shepard would just give him a chance. If she would let him join her in the pursuit of Saren … then his life … his life would be … he didn't know what it would be. But it had to be better than his life now.

When he had heard through the grapevine that the Normandy was returning, he knew that he had to be there. That he had to talk to the Commander. Ask her if he could join her … beg if needed. _A turian begging a human_, the thought had made him hate himself for a minute. Just a minute. But the reality was … he was suffocating ... drowning … and she was his lifeline. He didn't know why … but he didn't care. She had to accept him. She had to let him follow her.

He had struggled with himself as he approached the Alliance Marines guarding the Normandy and when his request to come aboard had been approved … his hopes were raised. But this feeling did not last long as he was escorted on to the Normandy ... He could feel the stares, the hate, the distrust and even anger as he passed through the CIC. _When will the humans understand that __Relay 314 Incident was justified? _He thought to himself. _Humans were like children playing with a loaded gun. Turians had no choice._

The soldiers led him to the comm. room where behind a conference table a screen showed the larboard side of the Normandy. He could see containers being carted away, hoses being attached to her underside, personnel bunched together and laughing as they headed towards customs. He looked at the chair at the end of the table on the right and could tell that it belonged to Commander Shepard.

As he drew closer to the screen, the door slid opened and three Officers entered … one of whom he recognized, "Lt. Alenko."

"Detective Vakarian! What brings you to the Normandy?" Kaidan asked, the sound of distrust seeping through his words.

"I wanted to speak to the Commander," Garrus answered, now worried that he might not be allowed.

Before Kaidan could answer, two more Alliance officers entered, along with a young man pushing a cart with refreshments. "I thought that we were skipping the staff meeting today," Chief Adams said.

"The Commander must have an update," Pressly answered, looking at Garrus.

As Kaidan showed Garrus where to sit, a tray, with refreshments specific to turian and quarian guests, was placed in front of him while the other Officers began taking their seats. Garrus watched as the men chatted among themselves and wondered what was going on. Wondered why the Commander had called a meeting, why he was not being escorted somewhere else and hoping that he did not have to give his reasons for coming to her in front of all these men. He had wanted a private meeting … it was hard enough baring one's soul to one person, but a roomful of strangers?

To combat his nervousness he thought of Gary Cooper in _High Noon_ … But it didn't help. His nerves faltering, he was about to excuse himself just as the door slid open and the Commander entered with an older woman. The men stood to attention … but just as he followed, the older woman told the men to take their seats and they sat as he stood. He felt slightly embarrassed standing up all alone and quickly sat back down as Shepard went to the head of the table and without acknowledging his presence, called the meeting to order.

* * *

><p>Liara sipped her sitruuna as the Councilor made arrangements for dinner that very evening for the two of them. Liara had been taken directly to the Councilor's office from the Normandy where after the formalities; the two were finally left alone. The chat was polite and friendly as the discussion included how her Theia would be pleased to know that she was safe and under the supervision of Tevos, that a comm. was being arranged so that she could speak with her family on Thessia, and that she would be a guest of the Councilor and Matriarch Lidanya in their Presidium home while she was there, and so on.<p>

As the Councilor's attention was focused elsewhere, Liara thought of Shepard. _I'm sorry … I like you but … not like that ..._ Her words coming back _… I like you but … not like that …_ Liara looked at her cup, at the amber liquid_ … not like that._ Why should she care what Shepard thinks … _a human. An inconsiderate, rude, short-lived … bar … bar … oh, what did she say? … Barbarian!_ That was it! Liara had looked up the word as she had waited outside the Councilor's office. The executive assistant, Psyria, had tried to make small talk but Liara had to know what barbarian and genteel had meant. _Barbarian! _And then she saw Shepard smiling at her that night in her apartment and she whispered, "Genteel."

"Liara?" Tevos was looking at her as she touched her arm.

"Oh," Liara had been so deep in thought that she had not realized that Tevos had returned and sat next to her. "Forgive me … my mind was … elsewhere."

Tevos smiled and asked again, "Were you mistreated while under the SpecTRe Shepard's care?"

At the sound of Shepard's name, Liara looked down at her lap. _Mistreated?_ Liara frowned. _Rejected._

"Liara?" the Councilor could see that the young asari was drifting in thoughts.

"Shepard was … " Liara stopped as she struggled with her thoughts. "The Commander did not mistreat me."

Despite Liara keeping her voice lacking in emotion, Tevos had not been deaf to her response. As she began to re-arrange the flowers in a vase on the cocktail table she asked, "What is your opinion of the Commander, Liara?"

"My opinion?" Liara did not want to talk about Shepard. She did not want to think about her and wished that she had never met her. Never wanted her ... Still wanted her.

Tevos, sensing her reluctance, placed her hand on Liara's, "You were with the Commander longer than any of our kind … she has never been open to us. One might even say she … finds displeasure in our company. So I am curious as to your impression of her."

"She can be horrid," Liara blurted, as she let her pain spill out just a little. She immediately regretted her moment of exposure and closed her eyes. _Stop it_, she told herself. _You will not think of her._

"Horrid?" Tevos gave a small frown, "A pity … I had sensed honor and compassion in her. What made her horrid, Liara?"

"I wish to speak no more of her," Liara said as she picked up her cup. "I would like to know if you have spoken with the Matriarch. The Commander said that she has aligned with Saren. Is that true?"

Tevos watched Liara take a sip from her cup and smiled, "Let us not discuss the Matriarch this early. I will not make a judgement until the investigation is complete ... and you should not doubt her until there is no other choice."

Liara bowed her head.

Tevos did not push Liara on the subject of Shepard, knowing that if handled with delicacy she would know everything that the young asari knew. Already she could see that Liara had made a connection with the human. This connection had been apparent by the hints of pain and anger and confusion.

_Did you make a proclamation of affection for the Commander?_ Tevos wondered of Liara as she removed a pedal on a flower in the vase. _Yes … why else would you say this unkind word? But when? _ Two more pedals removed. _Before or after I spoke with the Commander? _As Liara sipped her sitruuna, Tevos carefully picked up the pedals that she had pulled and looked at the young asari. _After! Before you left … What must Shepard think? _Tevos rose and headed for her waste basket. _That you were trying to use her? Gain favor to protect the Matriarch? I wonder. Whatever she feels it was not negative enough to stop her from sending someone to follow you. To send me a message to not hurt you. _As Tevos returned to her seat she looked at the young asari and wondered just how far Liara would go to protect Thessia.

* * *

><p>Garrus, ten minutes into the meeting, had finally been introduced to the group by Kaidan and then sat through an hour quietly as Shepard and her attendees reviewed the upcoming schedule. He listened as the Commander gave a departure time of 0700 which put pressure on her team to not only have all the supplies onboard in under 24 hours but all personnel given passes be called back.<p>

The Executive Officer of the Normandy, Charles Pressly, then pulled up the mini-map on a control in the middle of the table and focused everyone's attention on the Attican Beta … more specifically, a planet called "Eletania."

"What are we expecting to find there?" Lt. Edouard Diouf asked.

Pressly tapped on the box in the center of the table and the map moved to a terrain view of the planet, "The krogan has a contact there that might be able to put us a little closer to Saren."

"The krogan?" Diouf asked, tapping his datapad. "I think trusting him is a risk."

"Because he is non-human?" Lt. Neil Aldrin asked, looking at the turian.

"What?" Diouf looked offended and began responding in French instead of Anglish, "_I will not have my character or motivation lowered to your xenophobia_!"

Garrus did not understand what was being said as his translator only had Anglish downloaded. But as the Officer went on in an unknown tongue, Garrus could see that it was amusing the Commander. He then heard her respond to the Officer in the same strange tongue he had spoken and the table seemed to calm down.

Diouf, still in the strange tongue, spoke to both Aldrin and Shepard ... then was quiet.

"I apologize," Aldrin finally said to Diouf, breaking the silence in the room. Then he turned to Garrus and added, "I also apologize to you, turian. It is my hope that you did not take my question as a …" he looked at his Commander and then back to Garrus, "reflection of how we feel."

"Of course not," Garrus responded, adding, "… human."

"What does that mean?" Aldrin glared.

"Okay, okay," Shepard began to laugh as she waved them both to silence. "There is a lot on your plates … dismissed."

As the meeting broke up, Shepard instructed Pressly and Kaidan to stay. Shepard then walked out with Chakwas and after a few minutes returned and took her seat again, turning it to face Garrus, "Detective Vakarian."

"Commander," Garrus took a breath, "thank you for seeing me."

Shepard looked at the turian and wasn't sure but she thought he might be nervous. "I was glad to hear that you had come to visit … Is this a social call or is there something you need from me?"

"Actually," he started slowly, "I was hoping that I might help you."

"You have new information on Saren?" Kaidan asked as he sat forward.

"New information?" he wished but … "No."

"Oh," Kaidan sat back, obviously disappointed.

"So then," Shepard smiled, "how do you see you helping us?"

"I would like to offer my services," he said.

No one said anything as all eyes went to the Commander. She took a breath and tapped her fingernail on the table as she continued to look at him. "Your services? Do you mean being a resource here on the Citadel?"

"No, Commander," he answered. "I would like to work with you and your team on the Normandy."

"On the Normandy?" Pressly sounded as if Garrus had asked to be strapped to the nose of the Normandy. "We can't …"

Shepard cleared her throat which silenced Pressly, "What about your C-Sec duties? Would the Executor Pallin approve this?"

"I quit," Garrus said.

"Quit?" Kaidan couldn't believe his ears.

"At C-Sec, you're buried by rules," Garrus explained. "The damn bureaucrats are always on your back ... Keeping you from doing your job."

Shepard looked at Pressly and then back at Garrus, "Do you think that it will be different working with me?"

"I know what you SpecTRes are like," he answered.

"What are they like?" Kaidan asked with concern in his voice as he looked at Shepard.

"SpecTRes make their own rules," Garrus told him. "They are free to handle things their way."

Shepard shook her head, "That's romantic … but untrue. The Normandy has many rules and the way I work is not … wild, wild west free. Go back to C-Sec, Garrus … I don't think you'll be happy here."

As Shepard began to stand, Garrus gave one more try, "Commander … I can't go back. C-Sec and all their rules are only there to stop me from doing my work. If I'm trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do it, as long as I do it ... But C-Sec wants it done their way. Protocol and procedure comes first. Because of their … rigid procedures, criminals go free and innocent people suffer for it. That's why I left and why I can't go back."

Shepard could see that the turian was desperate.

Kaidan looked at Shepard and then Garrus, "Let me understand this … you quit because you didn't like the way C-Sec does things? Or you quit because the guilty go free?"

"There's more to it than even that," he answered, feeling that he had failed in gaining Shepard's confidence. "It didn't start out bad … being in C-Sec. But as I rose in ranks, I got saddled with more and more red tape ... Red tape that hindered what needed to be done. Criminals don't play by procedures and rules … why should we?"

"Not all procedures and rules are bad," Kaidan said as Shepard reached over and poured herself water.

"Not all," Garrus answered him, "But C-Sec's handling of Saren was typical ... Criminals walking because of those rules. I just couldn't take it anymore ... I had to leave …"

"Giving up your career in C-Sec," Shepard shook her head. "I hope you don't regret that decision."

"Commander," Garrus said, as she took a drink of her water, "I want to team up with you. It's a chance for me to get off the Citadel, see how things are done outside C-Sec. Either way, I plan on making the most of it. And without C-Sec headquarters looking over my shoulder, well, maybe I can get the job done my way for a change."

Shepard stood up, "Pressly, I need to talk with you … Garrus, please excuse us."

As Shepard, with Pressly following, left the conference room, Garrus looked at Kaidan and hoped that he had not failed. He had nowhere else to go.

* * *

><p>"And you were not abused in any way by this human or her crew?" Tatiaria asked Liara.<p>

"No, Theia," Liara assured her. "Shepard … uh, the Commander was careful with me."

"I am glad," Tatiaria said. "We were so worried about you … Matriarch Livia sends her grace."

"I am honored," Liara smiled. "And Siby?"

"She is here," Tatiaria smiled in return. "I have arranged with the Councilor for you two to have a private conversation tomorrow … But today you and I must talk."

"Yes, Theia," Liara hoped that it was not about Shepard.

"Have you had any communication with your mother since last we spoke?" she asked.

Liara bowed her head, "Mother has still not reached out to me. I am afraid that she has forgotten me or that I've caused her displeasure again."

Tatiaria sensing her pain, soothed. "Benezia has been focused on her duties … but I can assure you, Little, that you are never far from her thoughts. Never."

"No," Liara looked down. "I must have disappointed her. And now … what has she done?"

"We must trust her," Tatiaria said softly. "The Matriarch would never do anything to harm you … or Thessia … you must believe that and not doubt her. There must be a reason for all of this. She must believe that this is the only way to protect Thessia … to protect us …" _to protect you_.

"But she is with Saren," Liara answered, her voice rising. "What good reason would she be with him? What reason would make her follow with the geth! The geth!"

_Because of you_, Tatiaria thought but instead said, "Liara, you must know that the Matriarch will always put Thessia above everything. She would never betray us! There must be something we are missing. Do you doubt her?"

"Please forgive me," Liara was tired, hurt and needed her mother. "She has been removed for so long … Have you spoken with her?"

"No," Tatiaria answered, "But, I am hopeful that she will contact me soon."

"Theia," Liara said, "Would mother hurt a SpecTRe sent by the Council?"

Tatiaria was silent as she looked at the image of her niece. _You care about her_, she thought. _No, that can't be. This Shepard is human_. "Liara, the Matriarch is much wiser than you or I … we cannot understand or predict her actions."

"But would she hurt her? Would mother raise her hand against an agent of the Council?" Liara feared the worst and the panic was in her voice.

"The Matriarch is not to be questioned," Tatiaria reminded Liara, "You must not forget who she is … or your place."

"Please! If you talk to her," Liara begged, "please tell her not to hurt Commander Shepard. Theia ... promise."

"Liara!" Tatiaria could see the panic rising in her.

"The Commander will help her if she is working against Saren," Liara told her. "If she is innocent ... oh, or even if she was wrong but wants to come back ... Shepard will listen. Please Theia! Mother needs to be merciful with her … if not for her … then tell her for me."

Tatiaria could see the pain in Liara's eyes and promised.

* * *

><p>Pressly was silent as Shepard hung her jacket across the back of a chair, "So the turian wants to join us."<p>

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly could not believe that Shepard was even considering it.

"Take a seat," Shepard said as she walked over and picked up her iMuse off the floor, "What do you think of his offer?"

"Not sure about having more non-humans on our ship," Pressly answered as he sat down and Shepard placed the iMuse back in its proper place.

"Mmm," Shepard bit her bottom lip as she picked up a data pad off her desk. "Non-humans." Shepard muttered as she then sat across from Pressly placing the data pad on the table, "Speak freely, Pressly … Do you have a problem with non-humans?"

"It's not that, Commander," he answered carefully. "Humanity has always handled its own problems. Saren attacked one of our colonies ... We should be the ones to stop him. We don't need their help."

"I wish that were true," Shepard sighed. "But Pressly, we're not alone anymore. And no matter how much we've accomplished in our own history … the game has changed."

"That it has," Pressly nodded, looking at the data pad on Shepard's side of the table. Wondering what was on it.

"I don't understand these visions yet," Shepard confided, "… or not the way I should. But what is clear is that something is out there and if we don't stop it or them or whatever it is … these visions tell me that all will be lost. Humans, asari, volus, turians … every species, Pressly. Every single one. So no matter how much I wish that we could do this alone … to turn away help … I don't know. I think I'm … we … are going to need all the help we can get."

"But a turian," Pressly said, thinking of the bad blood between the two species.

"So you don't trust the turians?" Shepard asked, picking up the data pad off the small table between them.

"No." Pressly answered honestly. "Runs in my family ... My grandfather fought in the First Contact War and we lost a lot of friends when the turians hit us."

Shepard nodded as she looked at the pad, "Based off the looks he got in our meeting … you aren't alone in that feeling."

Pressly sat forward, "If you don't mind me asking, Commander … why was he in that meeting?"

"The meeting was called because of him," Shepard smiled. "I needed him to see the distrust that he would face if he joined us."

"You knew that was why he was here?" Pressly never stopped being amazed at her.

"Knew? No," Shepard answered. "Hoped."

"But why?" Pressly sat back. "The crew …"

"I know," Shepard frowned. "While I think the quarian is winning the hearts down in engineering … the krogan just scares the bejesus out of everyone. Adding a turian to the mix …"

"I've heard complaints on the krogan," Pressly interrupted. "But nothing outside of his presence being the complaint. All he has to do is look at them and they are reporting it to me."

Shepard gave a small laugh as she waved her finger over the pad, "We need him … like the quarian and this turian. We need them, Pressly."

"I guess so," he didn't know why they were needed, but he trusted Shepard. "Maybe I'm just stuck in the old ways of thinking ... But don't worry, Commander ... This won't be a problem."

Shepard put the pad down on the table, "It's important to me that you understand and support this. As my Executive Officer I need your backing the most. Saren is a turian … a turian with a lot of pull, especially amongst his own. If we catch him and kill him without at least one turian involved … what do you think might happen?"

"But you are a SpecTRe," Pressly reminded her.

"But I'm human," Shepard reminded him. "It doesn't help that Captain Anderson is part of this … despite him not being on the ship or the crew now. They might say that this was a vendetta … a revenge. But if we have a turian … a former C-Sec officer as not only a witness but part of it."

"It will help douse any potential fires," Pressly now understood.

"That's what I hope ... and this turian has a fascination with us," Shepard smiled as she pushed the pad over to him. "Or at least our wild west and country music."

"What?" he looked down at the pad. "You pulled his purchasing history?"

"Just a look at the past few years ... SpecTRe status has its bonuses."

"But his purchasing history?"

"You know us women and shopping," Shepard grinned. "I think you can tell a lot about a person by what they purchase. His was quite revealing."

Pressly looked at the list and shook his head, "I wouldn't of believed it. Johnny Cash? Charlie Rich even!"

"It surprised me too," Shepard laughed as she looked over at the downed frame on her desk. "Aliens fascinated by us. Who would have thought that?"

"I still can't get over those salarians that love that old music … disco?" Pressly put down the pad.

This made Shepard laugh harder and then she stood after motioning for him to stay seated, "The turian has an impressive record in weapons handling as well … with a sweet score in my area."

"He's into long range shooting?" Pressly asked.

"If he isn't … he should be," she answered. "His scores are amazing. Not as good as mine but …"

"I don't think anyone can beat yours," Pressly smiled at her.

"I wish," Shepard smiled, "I'm sure that there are others much better than me! So, what will it be? Should we say yes or send him on his way?"

"I trust you, Commander," Pressly stood. "If you think he belongs here, then so do I."

"I'm glad," she smiled as she patted his upper arm.

"Oh, I received an update from Lt. Grenado about the asari," he said.

_The asari_, Shepard thought as she turned back to the frame. "And?"

"She was first taken to the asari Councilor and is now in a residence on the Presidium," Pressly answered.

"Whose?"

"It's listed under the name of the Commanding Officer of the Destiny Ascension," he answered.

Shepard went to her desk and turned the frame up, "Did Caroline say if Dr. T'Soni looked as if she was being forced? scared?"

"No, ma'am," Pressly responded. "But she thinks that she might have been seen."

"She has," Shepard smiled.

"How do you know," Pressly was worried now.

"Caroline is good," Shepard turned to face him, "but I have a feeling that the Councilor's office ... her staff doesn't miss a thing."

"Should I pull her back?" Worry stretching across his face.

"No. That's what I wanted … the Councilor will see that I've got eyes watching."

Pressly sat back down in his chair, not quite understanding, "You want her caught?"

"Not caught … seen," Shepard corrected as she turned on her iMuse, freeing Alison Moyet to sing _More_.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Pressly shook his head. "Why do you want her seen?"

"Because even when Grenado is back," Shepard patiently explained, "the Councilor will never be 100% sure that no one is there … so, her handling of Dr. T'Soni will be carefully thought out. And if she had any plans of hurting or …" Shepard couldn't say it, "Well, she will hesitate."

"And if we return and the asari was killed?" Pressly asked.

The question made Shepard look over at the sketch, "I'll kill her."

"Commander?"

Shepard turned to look at Pressly, surprised at her own response, "I ... uh, well ... Unless she finds that Dr. T'Soni was also in alliance with Saren, like her mother … I'll need to understand why."

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly hoped that the asari was safe for the Commander's sake. He had heard her initial response and knew that killing a Councilor would be a death sentence for Shepard. As far as he was concerned, an asari was not worth Shepard's life. Even Dr. Liara T'Soni.

Shepard pulled her gym bag out from the side of her desk and hit the comm., "Williams!"

"Ma'am?" came Ashley's voice a few seconds later.

"You up for a couple rounds?"

"Yes, ma'am! Street or regulations?"

Shepard looked at Liara's sketch, "Street."

"Shall I get a medic? Or shall I stop before you bleed?"

Shepard laughed, "I won't be the one bleeding, Chief!"

"Sure, Skipper ... How long do I have to get squared away here?"

"I'll give you fifteen," Shepard responded and then turned to Pressly. "Well, I think I'll go let off some steam."

"What about the turian?"

"Oh ... You may put the turian out of his misery and offer him a place here on the Normandy," Shepard told him as they walked to the door. "I will leave his accommodations and duties to you and Lt. Alenko to figure out."

"Yes, ma'am."

As they exited Shepard stopped, "I want this bird off the Citadel ... no delays."

"Udina called and asked that you be in his office by 1400," Pressly said.

"No," Shepard shook her head.

"Commander?"

"Send him my deepest regret for not being able to see him," Shepard told him. "Make up some reason why I can't. I don't want to step foot on the Citadel. Period. If he wants to come here ... tell him I can squeeze him in, but I won't leave the Normandy."

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly answered and then watched her walk off towards the gym with her bag thrown over her shoulder and humming _Folsom Prison Blues_.


	44. Goods of Ruha

The pungent smells of unwashed bodies, damp musty rot, urine, feces, garbage, vomit and wet concrete … just a few scents that assaulted Shepard's nose as the team moved deeper into the underworld city of Eletania called Wetrot. The air topside required fully sealed environment suits due to the microscopic symbiotic creatures that would cause anaphylactic shock if inhaled by non-native life and because of that the world had not been colonized … at least by the more civilized of society. Instead this dark world underground, inspired by the Wiltshire's Secret Underground City built just outside of London, had been created by a criminal leader named Bilgur Rizzuto. As fate would have it, he died shortly after when he in a drunken stupor grabbed a bottle of ryncol and a bottle of Venefirous … mixed them in a glass and tried to drink the deadly concoction to show how immortal he was. He wasn't.

Now there was no real leader, no laws or safety found in Wetrot … "The only thing that rules Wetrot are the seven*," you would hear boasted on its streets. Here you could buy anything from prototypes to people. Wrex had lived here on and off throughout the last two decades and was planning on returning after his contract with Fist was completed. A hanar, called Ruha, had been his partner on a few hits and through e-mails had arranged to meet at a club called Crazy Horse in Wetrot. Ruha, mirroring those who lived in Wetrot, did not trust or talk to any government agent so the team had come dressed in civilian clothes.

Shepard dressed in all black … slacks, hiking boots, turtleneck and leather jacket with a pistol secured in a shoulder holster, her Bowie knife sheathed behind her back and a handful of smoke strips in her right pocket. With the humans and turian dressed down, weapons hidden … Wrex stood out in his armor and shotgun … but Shepard had laughed. He would have stood out no matter what.

The plan was for Garrus, Diouf and Mancini to enter the club together, followed a little later by Kaidan and Ashley. The two parties would each take positions around the club to provide back up if needed, while Wrex and Shepard entered last and trade credits for information with Ruha.

As the team had stepped into one of the decontamination rooms to step out of their enviro suits and place them into lockers, Wrex told the group, "Once we hit Mors Lane, we do not know each other … Ruha has eyes all down that street."

"I thought this hanar was your friend," Garrus said, removing his helmet.

"Friend?" Wrex checked his shotgun. "Turian, I have no friends."

"Please tell me he's not an enemy," Shepard said as she tightened her belt.

Wrex looked at her, "In Wetrot, an enemy is as close to a friend as you'll get."

"Wonderful," Kaidan whispered to Ashley.

Shepard, on the ride over in the Mako, had noticed Wrex looking at her … watching her and her gut was telling her that something was off. But before she could ask him what was up, the third containment door had opened and the stench hit her. As the humans struggled to breath, Wrex and Garrus did not appear to notice the foul odors of the underground city.

Kaidan, holding a bandana over his nose and mouth, asked the two, "Don't you smell that?"

"Smell what?" Wrex grumbled as he looked over at Kaidan.

Garrus sniffed and answered, "The air? It is slightly foul."

"Slightly?" Ash choked, pulling out a handkerchief from her jean's pocket and putting it over her nose.

Shepard pulled her black turtle neck sweater up and over her nose and mouth to try and cut the stench, "I'm sure we will get use to it."

"You might," Ash mumbled, as Mancini and Diouf followed Kaidan's lead and produced bandanas.

As the group moved down the main street, Infernus Lane, with store fronts on both sides … They couldn't help but notice the display windows, not that any had glass in them, where asari and humans were naked … some with legs spread, others bent over … calling out to the human traffic. Shepard moved on the other side of Kaidan as one asari called to her, "Lovely! Let me please you!"

She unconsciously put her arm through his and it made him smile. When she realized what she had done, she shook her head and let go, "Sorry."

"It's okay," he smiled, his cheeks a little red.

There were head shops, red sand and opium dens, hash and kleg bars, pawn shops, sex clubs, weapon stores, vorcha dungeons and in the middle of the main street was a stage. Here things were auctioned off and at the moment it was people. As the team walked past the stage, Shepard looked up and saw three male humans, one female human and two vorcha chained together and stripped of any clothes. One of the male humans had looked at her with eyes that were stripped of its soul ... eyes that were empty of any emotion. Dirt and blood was smeared all over him, his head shaved, a scar on his temple and his cock pulled to draw attention to its size.

Wrex saw the look of anger in her eyes and told her, "Goods of Ruha, Shepard. Them or information on Saren … can't have both."

Shepard turned away from the male and looked at Wrex, "I hate this."

Ashley began to head for the stage, rage in her face. "No!" Shep growled, as she pulled Ash back by the arm. "This isn't our mission."

"We have to do something, Shepard," Ash said, anger on her face.

"We can't risk the mission," Shepard told her.

"But we can't leave them!" Ashley pushed back. "They're humans!"

"Ash," Shepard pulled her closer by the arm. "I don't want to leave them … but we have to … we can't get sidetracked! Not by this! We have to stay focused on what the mission is. And this is not the mission!"

"This isn't right," Ash told her as she looked up and saw the one with the empty eyes looking at Shepard and mumbling now.

Shepard looked around … she had been trying to ignore the panic that was starting to creep up in her since they had arrived. Even now, sweat was breaking out on her forehead and upper lip, her heart racing and breathing getting harder. "Ash, we have to keep moving … we can't save them."

Ash looked away from the stage, the auctioneer rattling on and saw that he had heavily armed krogans guarding the stage and area. Shepard was right. Hell, it would almost be suicide to try and free these people but … "It's just not right."

While Ashley could not stop looking back at the slaves, Shepard's focus kept getting sidetracked by the cursed creatures that she had not been in contact with since Elysium … the batarians. As she heard their laughter, heard their voices and remembered Mindoir and Elysium ... she wanted to pull her weapon out of its holster and kill them. Kill each and every one of them. "Filthy bastards," she spit and then turned as she heard Wrex's name being called.

"Tudor!" Wrex hollered back at the krogan who appeared from an eating establishment for krogans across the street.

"Oh my god," Ash said in disgust as they followed. The writing on the place was in krogan with a trough that ran just in front of where the cook, if you wanted to call the vorcha that, stood and it contained rotten sludge of meat and bits of … "cabbage?"

"You think that's bad," Kaidan pointed toward an open market that had insects buzzing all around. As they left Wrex to visit with his acquaintance, they looked at what was being sold … rotting food, moldy bread, barrels that contained rice with company.

"Meal worms," Diouf said. "See … some have already turned into moths."

"Don't look at the fruit," Mancini told Ash, pointing at worm holes.

"They are selling maggots," Kaidan said in wonderment. "Can you eat them?"

"Protein," Diouf joked.

"Shut up!" Shepard said, shaking her head and looking toward where Wrex was.

"How can humans live like this?" Ash wondered out loud.

"Or turians," Garrus added as he saw two stumble by drunk.

Shepard's eyes were drawn away from Wrex to two armed batarians walking just five feet from her and laughing. She knew that she was beginning to panic and she hated herself for it … hated feeling out of control. She focused on her breathing, thought of her mother and began to hum _Learning to Lean_. It was working, her heart slowing down, the sweat on her upper lip dried, and she thought the worst was over as she placed her attention on Kaidan. He was looking down at a bread filled with worms with a wrinkled nose and it made her laugh.

"How can you laugh?" Ash asked her.

Shepard looked at her. Should she tell her that since entering this batarian filled city she had been close to crying … close to curling up in a ball? That the attack on Mindoir and Elysium were just at the tip of her mind and if she wasn't careful it was going to crash in and paralyze her? _No_, Shepard thought as she lowered her turtleneck, "What would you have me do, Ash? Cry? Rent my clothes?"

"No," Ash shook her head. "I just don't understand how you could …"

"Laugh?" Shepard cut her off. "It helps me cope … the way anger helps you. But if you think that my laughter means I don't care … You're wrong."

"I'm sorry," Ash looked down, "I just can't walk away from …"

"Those slaves belong to the very creature I am going to need information from," Shepard said. "Goods of Ruha. So we have a choice, Ash. Save a handful of slaves which changes nothing … or receive information that may lead us to Saren."

Ash looked back at the stage and fought the tears, "I hate this!"

"Not what we signed up for," Shepard patted her shoulder as she looked at a group of batarians. "I know. But if not us?"

"Yeah," Ash frowned. "His information better put Saren on a platter."

"Amen, sister."

Once Wrex had spoken with Tudor, they had started back on the road to the Crazy Horse. Shepard had started to feel more relaxed, her panic almost in control when a batarian stepped in front of her path, unzipped and began to urinate on the street. As if hit by a freight train she was back on Mindoir and there was Tait beneath that stream of urine. His beautiful blond hair with blood and urine in it … She reached for her weapon but before she pulled it she felt her head get light.

She stumbled over to the side of a building and as she leaned against it, her head against the cool concrete, she heard the Beatles' _Octopus's Garden_ playing full blast in a head shop just two doors down. She tried focusing on the words as she struggled to get control, struggled to not vomit, struggled to not cry. _Get a damn grip! It's just memories! Get a grip!_

"Shepard," Ash placed a hand on her back, "Are you okay?"

Shepard closed her eyes as she kept her forehead pressed against the cool concrete wall and focused on keeping the contents in her stomach down. "I'm okay, Ash. Just caught a big whiff of …"

"Human," Wrex growled at Ashley, "Step away and go to the Crazy Horse ... It's just one more block down on the right. Shepard and I will be there shortly."

"I'm not leaving the Commander," Ash told him.

"Go!" he growled.

Shepard heard over the sounds of the street noise, arguing, growling and then silence … "Thank the Bacchus," she whispered as she took deep breaths. If only she could go to sleep and wake up on the Normandy. Within a few minutes she heard shuffling, someone scream out in pain and then hit the ground in front of her. She could hear Wrex behind her and slowly opened her eyes to see the very batarian that had urinated in front of her, splayed out at her feet ... one eye missing and blood running down his face.

Wrex had been watching Shepard as they entered into the city and knew that her past on Mindoir might rear its head ... Wetrot, after all, was overrun with them. It had taken longer than he thought but she had lost it and he had been glad to know the final straw. So now he had delivered that straw and as Shepard struggled, he placed his shotgun in her hands and brought the barrel up to the batarian's face, "Kill it, Shepard."

"What?" Shepard asked Wrex, confused.

"Kill it!" He repeated.

She looked down at the batarian who was now cursing Wrex and she shook her head, "No!"

As Shepard handed back Wrex's shotgun he said, "Then don't!"

The batarian began to laugh and spit at Wrex, telling him that he had no idea how weak the humans were. As he continued to curse the krogan, Shepard told him to shut up and leave. He looked at her and told he would after she bent over. She remembered Manok … remembered him on top of her … his breath … his splitting her open … and she grabbed Wrex's shotgun, aimed and pulled the trigger. As his head exploded, releasing his brains against the wall, she heard her mother; _your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt_.

"No … what have I done?" She lowered the shotgun.

"You've taken back your strength," Wrex told her as he took back his shotgun. "You are not a weak pup to be sent against a wall … your tail tucked between your legs. If it offends you … makes you cower … kill it!"

"No," Shepard whispered, looking at the dead batarian.

"Shepard," Wrex growled at her. He had been angered to see her afraid. He hated weakness, fear and cowardice ... Shepard was none of these things and so seeing even a hint in her was unacceptable to him … so the pup had just received krogan training from a battlemaster. "No one follows a coward."

"Coward?" Shepard turned to look at Wrex, "I'm not a coward!"

"Then don't act like one!" Wrex pushed her. "You've had an easy life, human! Too easy!"

Shepard backed up from him, "Easy?"

"Easy!" He repeated. "That attack on Mindoir was nothing! You weren't even hurt!"

"You have no idea!" She yelled as she began to hit him on his chest. "You have no idea what it was like! What they did! What I did!"

As Shepard continued to physically lash out, a crowd fascinated by a human beating on a krogan began to form. "Beat his ass, honey!" … "Kill him!" … "Fuck her!" … "Teach the newcomer respect!" were some of the cries from the crowd.

"Did you even try to fight them?" Wrex asked in a tone that implied she had not, her pounding on him not moving him in the slightest. "Or did you play a willing whore?"

Shepard, tears in her eyes, looked up at him just as she pulled out her weapon and pointed it at his face, "I could kill you!"

"Do it, Shepard!" he challenged, "If I scare you … kill me!"

"Don't push me, krogan!" she threatened, taking a step closer.

Wrex opened his mouth and put it over the barrel as he growled, "Do it … Eli!"

Hearing him call her by her father's pet name made her come back to her senses … "Don't! Don't call me that!" she said, dropping her hand with the weapon.

Wrex looked at her. Watched as she ran her hand through her hair and looked around them as the crowd, sensing the show was over, began to move on. She saw a salarian empty the pockets of the dead batarian and then a couple humans appeared and stripped off his boots. "What kind of place is this?" Shepard asked Wrex.

"The place where people come to rot," Wrex told her. He had felt most comfortable here and had thought he might just live out the rest of his life in Wetrot. But now, looking around … seeing it through Shepard's eyes … He wanted to get out of that rot hole and never return. This was no place for him … or for her.

Shepard walked over to the curb and sat down, placing her weapon back into her holster. She was tired, drained. Two vorcha slipped past her and as they drug the body of the batarian past her … his dead eyes seem to accuse her. She knew that she should feel guilt … but she didn't. She hated his kind. But she knew that her mother would have been ashamed of her actions … _I will not have a violent daughter_, Hannah had said more times than Shepard could remember. She remembered her father … killing her father and looked up at Wrex, "I've done a terrible thing, Wrex."

Wrex looked down at her and remembering his father, "I have too, Shepard."

"Why didn't you tell me that this place was so cursed?"

"You wouldn't have come."

"I might have," Shepard knew that was a lie.

"You needed to come," Wrex looked over at the blood and brains left by the batarian. "You can't run from your past, Shepard."

"Some things are better off left buried," Shepard said as she stood.

"Are they?"

"I think so."

"Words of a fool," Wrex told her. "You are no fool, Shepard. Face your fears … face the pain. If we were on Tuchanka … I would have you take the rite of passage."

"The rite of passage?" Shepard looked at the stain on the ground. "I'm guessing that doesn't include cake, clowns and dancing."

"No," he gave a snort as they began walking towards their destination.

"Hey, Wrex?"

"Shepard?"

"Don't do that to me again," Shepard warned. "No more surprises and no rite of passage either … Or I might pull the trigger next time."

"You better pull it more than once," he laughed as they headed for the Crazy Horse.

* * *

><p>The slave with the empty eyes had been placed in a holding cell after being sold for a sixth time in the past thirteen years. He had been beaten, raped, tortured, starved and worked till he bled in those years. One of his masters, a female batarian, had been kind to him but she had died and left him with a cruel son. Now, two owners past her, he was back on the block. A slave called Baba.<p>

Baba had not thought of his past or who he had been in about ten years. He had let his past go or he would have gone mad. Not that he thought he wasn't. He knew that he was not all there. But he was okay with that. He had come to terms with his lot in life and just prayed that his next master was kind.

He had resigned to being dead inside. And then he had seen her … Pastor Hannah.

That had been his first thought. _But no ... no … she had died … hadn't she? …yes … yes … dead. Not Pastor Hannah … No ... Baba, think … Shep … Shepard … yes ... and she looked at me … Baba … no, not Baba … what was my name? … She had to know it was me … Baba … no … can't remember name … But must protect her … shhhh … quiet … don't let her see me … keep her safe … better off dead … not get her hurt … do you see me?_

Then he had heard her say he was not her mission_ … right … shhhhh … she was his mission … protect her … but she is safe … yes … Shepard is safe … yes … shhhhh … keep quiet … protect her … Shepard is safe … she must have known it was me … me … Baba … no … no … Ricky … Ricky …Ricky what? … shhhhhh … quiet._

Now as he was in the cell, he still couldn't remember his full name and he began to cry as he curled into a ball on the floor …_ Ricky … not Baba … Ricky … Mindoir … Yes … Ricky Mindoir … Shepard is safe ... protect her … shhhh ... she knew me … safe … Baba … no … Ricky Mindoir safe soon … Shepard saw me._

* * *

><p>*Seven Deadly Sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride<p> 


	45. Dark Pool

"I am not teaching you how to swim today," Shepard told Wrex as she removed her boots and jacket. Rahu had sent two krogan to meet them at the club and then had them brought to his place of business where they were then lead to the lower level. Wrex knew what that meant and hoped that it was not a sign of trouble but just precaution.

"Just stay close, Shepard," Wrex told her as they walked towards the black water that was between them and Rahu.

This room was where the hanar met those he did not trust. It required the visitor to stand in a pool of water four feet deep as he sat on the rotting throne of Bilgur Rizzuto. As Shepard looked down at the filthy, foul-smelling water she saw something pass by them. "Shit," she said under her breath as she tried to look unalarmed and as casual as one could be walking into something just short of sewage.

As they slowly waded to the center of the pool, Shepard refused to jump as she felt the slimy bottom squish between her toes … or as things moved against her … or at the sounds of creatures splashing somewhere around her. No. She was focused on staying steady and in control. As they reached the middle, Shepard breathing as shallow as she could to limit the amount of smells attacking her senses, a black creature splashed just in front of her, "What are these things?" She whispered to Wrex.

"Dinner," Wrex answered, dunking his face into the water and snapping down on what appeared to be a four foot long black eel. As he brought it up, the eel-like creature twisted and it slapped Shepard in the face.

"No, no, no," she groaned, as she used her turtleneck to wipe off the water and slime from the creature. A part of her wanted to gag as the water ran over her lips but she forced her stomach to stay put.

"Wrex," an asari laughed as she moved to the foot of the stairs leading down to them.

"Pirene," Wrex mumbled as he continued to eat the creature.

"You always did like to eat those wretched things," she said.

"Is this why you made us come to the lower room?" Wrex asked, snapping again at another one swimming by.

"Rahu apologizes for this safety measure," Pirene frowned, "but you have not been honest with us."

_Rahu_ … Shepard had seen hanars on the Citadel but this one was at least four times the size. It was so large that she wondered if it could even stand. It was draped over the throne of the late Bilgur Rizzuto and one of its tentacles curled up and around the asari. "Honest? We are here for information on Ampelius Ovidius … nothing more."

"Is that so?" she almost seemed to purr. "Come, Wrex … Are we to truly believe that you would come to Wetrot … come to Rahu … just for some minion? And you would even bring a SpecTRe?"

Shepard caught Wrex moving a little closer to her as he growled, "This human is with me … she has no other reason to be here except to locate …"

"This Ampelius Ovidius," the asari cut him off as Rahu seemed to tighten around her. "Your presence is the only reason that she is still living, Wrex, but Rahu is not pleased that you withheld this information."

"That was my decision," Shepard broke her silence, "Wrex would have told you if I had not requested my SpecTRe status to be kept private."

"Your decision?" She smiled as she stepped her right leg down onto the step just above the water line. "I've never known Wrex to not do as he pleases. Hmm, Wrex taking orders from anyone ... especially a weak human. Can this be true?"

"Pirene," Wrex growled, "Shepard is not like other humans."

"Hmm," she turned to Rahu and after a few moments looked again at the two. "Well, no matter. This … turian you are searching for … we have bad news. He was last seen hanging skinned on Omega. Something about making an offer to someone there ... Pity. And you offered so much for his whereabouts … Rahu was not happy."

"Skinned?" Shepard asked. "Why? What was the offer he made? And to who?"

"Don't know," she smiled as she moved away and standing next to Rahu again, placed a hand on him, "but whatever it was, offended someone there and now …" she waved her free hand around as if with a knife, "he was peeled, hung and slowly … and I mean slowly … expired."

Shepard could feel the anger rising in her. She had come to the most god-forsaken place in the galaxy, left humans to be auctioned off like cattle, killed an unarmed batarian just because and now she had agreed to wade in foul smelling and murky waters just so this grotesque version of a hanar felt safe … for what? "Nothing," she bitterly said.

"You could have told us this in the club," Wrex said, sensing Shepard's growing anger.

"True," she answered. "But in our inquiry for you about this minion … his master … another SpecTRe reached out to us."

"Saren," Shepard didn't like where this was going.

"Saren," the asari's eyes lit up. "It seems that he desires you … not surprising. You are delicious looking … he offered quite a bounty on your head. But he lacks imagination ... his bounty does not include _alive_."

Wrex moved in front of Shepard as a tentacle of Rahu's moved out into the water and started to wrap around Wrex's waist. "Rahu, you would betray me?"

"Betray you?" Pirene looked hard at Wrex, "You know that he has been faithful to you. You have always been a loyal ally … but this silence … this lie by omission has Rahu concerned, Wrex."

"If Rahu is to be angered," Shepard said, trying to keep her temper in check, "then take it out on me. Wrex is not to blame for this information being withheld."

"Silence!" Wrex glared at Shepard.

"Listen to the krogan, human," the asari said in a serious tone. "You are but a child at the table of the adults … do not think that gives you the ability to participate in this game."

"I'm not here for games," Shepard answered. "Just answers."

The asari looked away from her and at Wrex and then motioned for him to come closer. Shepard bit her tongue as she watched him begin moving towards the steps leading up and out of the dark pool. She hated feeling lost in this game … wished that Wrex had explained what the hell was going on and if she should relax her hand on her knife. But he had given no inclination on their present situation.

As Wrex and Pirene began to talk just low enough that Shepard could not hear, she felt something bump against her right leg. Shepard had hoped it would move along, but as the think continued to bump against her, she reached down to push it away. The head of a dead batarian bopped up as she began to push … "Gobble-smack freak!"

"Lucius!" Pirene could be heard to say as Shepard took a few steps to her right, "Thought he could betray us to this Saren … last thought he had."

Shepard looked over at Wrex, wanting nothing more in the world than to be out of that pool and asked, "Where was he supposed to take me ... or my body, if he was successful?"

"Is anything that simple, human?" Pirene asked with a condescending tone and then turned back to Wrex. "Stay here … Rahu has a project that will yield great wealth."

"Once Shepard has completed her mission," Wrex told her. "I have committed to it ... to her."

"Committed?" Pirene seemed displeased. "So your allegiance has changed."

"Pirene," Wrex moved closer to her, "you know that I finish what I start … Once this is done, I will return."

Pirene looked at Rahu and then sighed, "Rahu is not happy … but understands." She then turned to Shepard, "He is also sorry that he could not help you … SpecTRe."

Shepard, without saying a word, turned around and headed for the exit … as she grabbed her boots, jacket and weapon, Wrex looked at Pirene, "What do you think?"

Pirene smiled, "Headstrong … but knows when to hold her tongue. A rarity in the humans that I've had the displeasure to meet. You were not exaggerating … she is very in control of herself. Why, she is only in a handful of people that managed the dark pool … not that she didn't flinch on occasion."

"Can you help us?" Wrex looked at Rahu.

The hanar shifted, "This one will assist where possible."

"In the meantime," Pirene smiled, "You need to catch up with your companion. If we hear of anything we will contact you." As Wrex began to wade back across the pool he heard Pirene say behind him, "Next time we meet … I will seduce her. You have my word on that, Wrex."

* * *

><p>As Liara dropped her peach colored evening shawl on the end of the bed she tapped through her iMuse until she came to Sarah McLachlan's <em>Ice Cream<em>. She had heard Shepard humming this tune one evening on the Normandy at dinner time. She had asked Shepard what she was humming and to her surprise, the Commander began to sing it to her. Now listening to this other woman's version, she wished to hear Shepard's voice instead. She had remembered how everyone had clapped when Shepard was done and she giggled as she saw the Commander's smile and curtsy. Shepard's moments of entertainment and playfulness always caught her off-guard and now they made her miss the Commander even more.

It had been over a week since Liara had been on the Normandy and every time that she tried to forget her … forget the Commander … something always pulled her back. Just this evening she had escorted the Councilor to the Nijinsky Theatre in the Kithoi Ward. The Hamburg Ballet had come to the Citadel to perform _Giselle_ and the Councilor Tevos had accepted Ambassador Udina's invitation to sit in his private box overlooking the stage. Matriarch Lidanya was on a month long tour on the Destiny Ascension so Liara was asked to stand in for her. As the ballet was performed, Liara imagined Shepard as the lead … she wondered what their lives might have been like if they had met in that type of setting. Instead of Liara stuck in a trap she had personally set. If Shepard had been a ballet dancer instead of a soldier … would she have noticed her that night? As Liara watched the woman move onstage she wondered if she would have really felt the same herself. Desiring a human.

But she pretended that Shepard was there … dancing for her and when they went backstage she fantasized that Shepard was waiting for her. The ballerina disappointed her as the woman fawned all over the Councilor … _Shepard would not have ever acted in this manner_, she thought. But until that moment she had let her imagination run away. Now as she began to step out of her dress in her room, she began to pretend that Shepard was with her and was telling her how she had missed her. _What would that be like?_ She wondered. The Commander desiring her, wanting to spend time with her … to touch her. No, Shepard had been clear and Liara had even went on-line and looked for this human that had her affections. It hadn't been hard to find that she was with a Mr. Liam Serafino. She only had to pull pictures taken of Shepard while on the Arc and there he was … her hand draped through his … him holding a door open for her … the two smiling at the cameras.

If she couldn't please Shepard intimately then she began to go back through her research notes. She knew that if she could at least shed light on this conduit then at least the Commander would see that she had value. That she needed her. If she could help in the understanding of what Saren … and her mother … was doing then maybe she would see Shepard again. As she opened her netbook she heard Shepard tease, _you aren't going to work this late … are you?_ She looked up as she imagined Shepard shutting her netbook and singing _Ice Cream_ again. She knew that she was being silly but this was better than thinking of Shepard out there … possibly no longer even alive.

_No, Wrex would protect her_, Liara quickly thought when she saw Shepard hurt or … or … worse. She had seen the way the krogan had yelled at Shepard on Therum for jumping in the middle of the two battling krogans and it told her that he cared for her. She didn't understand why the old battle master had connected to Shepard … she would not have believed such a thing possible … but then she had also fell under Shepard's charms. She thought of the times that she had desired someone and none of them compared to what she felt now. If only she could talk to her mother about these new feelings … tell her about Commander Shepard.

When she closed her eyes at night to sleep she couldn't help but try and reach out with her soul and feel for Shepard. She told herself that she did this just to make sure that the human was still alive … still breathing. The thought of this vivacious and at times aggressive woman silenced … no! Nothing could stop her from existing … no one could stop her heart from beating. Liara had to believe that or she would feel the panic begin. She would feel a darkness start to move within her. _Stop it, Liara!_ She told herself as she went back to her netbook … _You will solve this and help Shepard_!

* * *

><p>It had been a few hours since the team had returned to the Normandy and even though it was now midnight to her internal clock … she could not sleep. So she roamed the quiet, dimly lit and semi-sleeping ship. She had visited the bridge and chatted with pilot Robert Felawa and his crew for a half hour and then headed down to the gym. A stock room there had been converted into a bedroom for the resident turian and as Shepard passed by she heard a guitar very out of tune being strummed. She saw that the door was slightly open and so she knocked … the noise stopping.<p>

"Come in," the turian called out.

Shepard opened the door to see the turian sitting on his cot, holding a Martin guitar while another string instrument was leaning on the wall across from him. "You play the guitar?"

"Ha, not quite." He said embarrassed. "I play the sassub," he motioned towards the other instrument.

"Do you mind?" Shepard smiled as she pointed at it.

"No." He stood as she entered. "Do you play?"

"Not this," she smiled as she picked it up and looked at its design. "I use to play the guitar when I was younger."

"Then let's switch," Garrus held out the guitar to Shepard.

"That's okay," Shepard put the sassub down and as she turned to go she had to ask why he had a Martin guitar.

"Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Elvis Presley, Bob Dylan …" Garrus rattled off various artists that had played on a Martin and then told her the history of the C.F. Martin company and she found herself sitting down on a chair across from his cot, as he shared his respect of the Martin guitar. After going on for half an hour, Garrus stopped, "Sorry, Commander."

"No need to apologize, Garrus," she smiled as she finally took the guitar from him. "I love guitars … and this is a beauty."

"I was hoping to learn how to play it," he admitted as she began to tune it.

"Well, first you must have it in tune," she smiled.

"Yeh ... well," he sounded embarrassed again.

Shepard wanting to get his mind elsewhere, asked, "So if you don't mind me asking, why did you become a C-Sec officer?"

He watched her as she continued to tune the instrument and answered, "Probably the same as most officers ... I wanted to fight injustice and help people."

"Were you the first in your family to join the C-Sec?" she asked as she turned the E string key.

"No," he answered, "My father was C-Sec … I guess he had something to do with it, too."

"Your dad was C-Sec?" she looked up.

"One of the best," he answered with pride. "I grew up hearing about his accomplishments or seeing his picture on the vids after a big arrest."

"That must have made you pretty proud of your dad," she smiled.

"It did," he answered, picking up the sassub. "But I'm afraid that I can't say the same for him. He's taking my resignation from C-Sec pretty hard."

"I'm sorry," Shepard knew that it must not be easy on the turian. "It's rough when you feel as if you've let your parent down."

"Yeh," Garrus began to tune the sassub. "My father's a C-Sec man to the bone ... _Do things right, or don't do them at all_, he always tells me."

This made Shepard laugh, "My mother always said, _do not embarrass me_ … It had the same effect. That fear of embarrassing her made me always give everything my best."

"Parents," he gave a small laugh. "He thinks I'm being too rash ... too impatient."

Shepard stopped tuning, "I thought all you turians were cold and …"

"A stick up our ass?" he finished. "That is how you humans put it?"

"Well, yes," Shepard laughed, "But I was going to add _reserved_."

"Oh," he seemed to smile.

"So why is your father worried?" Shepard began to strum the Martin.

"He's worried I'll become just like Saren," he answered, listening to the sound an in tune Martin made. "He actually talked me out of becoming a SpecTRe when I was younger ... for the same reasons."

"You were chosen to become a SpecTRe?" Shepard asked.

"Not chosen," he answered, "Targeted as a possible SpecTRe candidate ... Me and about a thousand other turian military recruits."

"Hmm," Shepard frowned. "Humans trying to get just one in and here they are lining you guys up."

"Jealous?" he asked.

Shepard laughed, "To be honest, this was a shotgun wedding for me."

"You didn't want to be a SpecTRe?" Garrus couldn't hide is surprise. The thought of someone not wanting to be a SpecTRe, well outside of his father, seemed impossible.

"No," Shepard shook her head. "Ignorance is bliss and being a SpecTRe is ripping the veil off the galaxy."

"Wetrot," Garrus nodded.

"Wetrot," Shepard frowned. "I have a feeling that there are other places not only as bad but …"

"Worse," he cut in.

"Worse," she agreed. "I'm not sure that I want to find those places … see those people. How does one keep that type of filth off your own soul? To not become what you are surrounded by?"

"I think that was part of my father's worries," Garrus said. "When I was offered the special training … my father said no. He didn't like it. He despises the SpecTRes, hates the idea of someone having unlimited power with no accountability. He wouldn't like you, Commander. No offense."

"None taken," Shepard smiled. "And I can understand why it would worry him."

"You can?" Garrus was finding Shepard different then he expected.

"Lord Acton once wrote a letter to a Bishop Creighton that _power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely_." Shepard said, remembering it from one of her mother's lectures.

"But Saren's not going to play by our rules," Garrus countered, "Not by C-Sec's rules. If you want to nail someone like Saren, you need to send someone who isn't restricted by policies and procedures."

"Careful, Garrus," Shepard smiled, "Careful that you don't become the very thing you hunt."

Before Garrus could say anything, Shepard began to play a song that she used to play with her father … Merle Haggard's _Mama Tried_. As the music filled the room, Shepard singing how mama tried to tame a rebel child she could feel her father move closer to her. It had been too long since she had used music to enjoy the day and as Garrus tapped his foot she couldn't stop smiling as she sang to the country music loving turian … Wetrot gone. Saren gone. Just a Martin guitar, Merle Haggard music and an easy audience of one.


	46. No Sé Mañana

As Rosana's _A Fuego Lento_ played, Shepard limped from the shower over to her desk ... slowly and with a few moans. As the Spanish song filled the room, Shepard remembered when she had asked Manny to translate some of the songs on Rosana's Lunas Rotas release. He had pulled her close, and as Rosana sang, he began to translate soft in her ear ... _with rushing, naughty caresses just for my butterfly; I'll sneak under her clothes and leave a feeling of love .._. _love, honey and tequila. _"You are making that up!" she had pushed him away, laughing, before he had pulled her back to him ... and then to bed.

As she thought of his touches she looked at the right side of her body. It was black and blue while her breathing was done with a shallow touch to combat her bruised ribs, and walking was not as pleasant as she would have liked it to be. Then there was her right wrist … sprained. _Well, at least you still have all your teeth_, Shepard thought as she placed her towel on the chair. But despite all her injuries, she was grateful. She knew that she should probably be dead after the past two months and some since Eden Prime. Hell, after leaving Wetrot the Normandy had spent a few weeks following false leads and cleaning up Alliance messes ... leads and messes that had left her body in need of medical care and rest. But there was no time. _No rest for the weary_, she thought as she brushed through her wet hair with her hands. There was always somewhere she was needed. Or someone who needed her somewhere ... She had even received calls from an asari diplomat and an Admiral with requests to see each of them when she was back on the Citadel. Everyone wanted something from her … her body be damned. Dr. Chakwas had given her a lecture on proper care and time off ... and had she still been part of the Alliance, the doctor could have grounded her. _Sorry, Doc ... you can't ground a SpecTRe_. Even when Chakwas tried cutting a deal, Shepard told her that while she was hunting Saren she could not stop ... "Look, Doc, that wabbitt has my name on his tail," she had tried to lighten the mood. But the doctor was a hard audience and had just given her a look that said she was on the edge of strapping Shepard to one of the biobeds.

_Never mind hunting wabbit, could you cut the power on the moon_, she thought as she began to get dressed in casual wear. Okay, that was actually a nice mission. Not the mission itself, but she remembered looking up at Earth and thinking of her family while Kaidan stood next to her doing the same. If it hadn't been for Ash pulling them back to the mission at hand, who knows how long they would have stood there. As she looked at the big blue marble, she thought of how close to her family and friends ... yet she knew that no matter how much she wanted to see them, how close they were, it was not an option … _Lord, please keep them safe_, Shepard had silently prayed as she turned away.

After these past months, Shepard found Kaidan not only attractive but calming to be with. He was a good man, her weakness, and she had almost kissed him one evening. He had come to her room to drop off a datapad for Pressly and they had started talking about family. _Soap and citrus_, she had smiled as he moved close to her. His body was the kind of toy she liked. But as she looked into his dark eyes she knew that she would break his heart if she pursued him. She would hurt him as she had Manny and as she would eventually hurt Liam. _Liam_, she sighed. She was hoping that while she was away, he would find someone else and leave her. _It must be a defect of character_, Shepard thought as she looked at a picture of Liam. _Life keeps handing me good men and I keep throwing them back … or pushing them away. You deserve to be alone, heartless woman, _Shepard told herself. _No, once Liam is gone … I am through with seeing anyone on a regular basis. Done. I won't put someone else through this._

Manny crept back in, _below is my boiling point, without rushing and with some self restraint, let's start planning an uproar butterfly … together on the dancing seas. _How long had it been? She looked at her empty bed and then down at her damaged body. She was glad that there was no one there who would want to touch her tonight. She could barely breath … the thought of someone putting a hand on her made her cringe. The massive bruise had been a gift just a few days prior. She had been sent flying across a room by an asari. "At least the asari wasn't trying to sleep with you," Ash had joked.

_Well, that was true … she wasn't trying to sleep with me_, Shepard started to laugh as she pulled out her Jameson. The laughter was cut off as her ribs complained and the laugh was replaced by a wince. _Dammit_, she cursed at herself. _You have got to be ready in the next forty-eight … he might be there_. Thanks to Wrex, Rahu had sent word that there was activity on Feros that seemed _disquieting_.

"Here's to you," Shepard raised and tilted the uncapped bottle towards the envisioned hanar, "You grotesque jelly fish!" With that she took a big swallow of the whiskey and prayed that it would help her sleep. _Okay, maybe not the whiskey_, she thought as she picked up the bottle of pain killers. Shepard had never needed a lot of sleep but she needed more than a few hours a night, especially when she was leading a team through conflicts. She had to be at her best. Thank Bacchus for adrenaline, at least. But her sleep was not robbed by nightmares. She did not dream, or at least she had no memory if she did. No. Her sleep was robbed by the Protheans and their message. The vision would tumble to the front of her mind as she tried to sleep. She knew that whatever the message had been … it was important. Her mind was struggling to make sense of it even though the picture was fragmented and the voices foreign. Of course, screams and wailing needed no translation. But there were other voices … whispers. And sometimes as her mind struggled to understand, her head pounded and her nose bled. _Should I be worried?_ _I don't know and frankly ... I don't really care_, she lied to herself, and then took another drink.

As she threw two pain pills in her mouth, she looked at the sketch by Liara. No matter how many times she looked at the leaves, she was amazed. The level of detail that the asari had put in each one … it always made her shake her head and smile. With sleep dancing away from her, she would sometimes make her a cup of tea and sit and look at it. If she looked at it long enough, the leaves seemed to move as if touched by wind. She did not understand the asari but there was something about her that Shepard liked. Even Dr. T'Soni's displays of haughtiness on occasion were not as offensive as it normally would have been to Shepard. Kaidan had told Shepard that the asari air of superiority was not to be seen in a human way, "it's just part of them … their demeanor. Liara doesn't think she is better."

"No?" Shepard had stopped hitting the bag and looked at him. "Is it because she doesn't think it … she _knows_ it!"

"Commander," Kaidan shook his head. "She is a lovely girl, if you would just give her a chance."

_Uh, Kaidan was right_, Shepard smiled as she washed down the pills with the whiskey. _If only her mother wasn't an enemy_ … she might actually believe it fully if that was not part of the package. She closed her eyes as Rosana's _No Sé Mañana_ began to play and wondered if any of the others were as beat up as her. If the good doctor's reports were accurate … she was not alone. But where she could rotate them out as needed … she knew that this was not an option for her. She had to appear strong and in the lead at all times. It was the Blitz all over again. She understood how people needed someone to look up to ... someone to look up to and believe in. And while she knew that she was not Superwoman, there was no reason to share that truth with the others. That did not mean that Shepard was reckless in the field, but she did at times push her body and take calculated risks. Sometimes out of necessity and sometimes just to inspire. Okay, maybe sometimes she did act instinctually instead of logically … but she knew that hesitation and self-doubt were poison.

"Poison," Shepard frowned and then began pouring the whiskey into a tumbler to feel a little more civilized. As she lifted the glass, Joker interrupted her music and thoughts, "Uh, Commander?"

"Joker?" Shepard knew that this was Lt. Felawa's shift. "Are you on the bridge?"

"Uh … I … Robbie is under the weather," he explained. "You think that the cold could be cured by now. But noooooooo."

"A cold?" Shepard thought of her injuries. "You think he'd share it?"

"Commander?"

"Nothing," Shepard sighed. "What do you need?"

"We've got a transmission coming in from the Citadel," he explained. "Top priority clearance."

"Citadel?" Shepard put the bottle of whiskey back in its hideaway. "Is it the ambassador?"

"It's not his signature," she heard him respond. "I think it's from the Council."

"Okay," Shepard frowned. "Have Pressly meet me in the comm. room."

"Aye, aye. I'll patch it through and notify Pressly."

"Oh, Joker?" Shepard called out.

"Commander?"

"You aren't filling in on his whole shift are you?" she didn't want Joker tired when they reached Feros.

"No, Commander. Talitha is taking six and I'm taking six."

"Fair enough," Shepard said. "I just want to make sure that you are at peak performance for the landing."

"Don't worry about me, Commander. I could land this baby in my sleep."

* * *

><p><em>Please let this be about Saren<em>, Shepard thought as her door opened.

"Oh, Commander," Ashley had just been about to knock and was caught off-guard.

"Chief," Shepard stood a little straighter, focused on hiding her pain.

"I was hoping to get a minute of your time," Ashley said.

"Well, you know I have an open-door policy," Shepard smiled. "But can you give me a few? I have a call to take."

"Of course," Ashley answered. "I can come back tomorrow if you would prefer."

"No," Shepard told her. "But if you could, can you have Henry prepare a coffee tray with some of those cinnamon sugar cookies he makes?"

"Yes, ma'am." Ashley smiled.

"Thanks! I'll be back in ... say, half an hour?" Shepard guessed. "Hopefully it won't take that long."

"I'll have the tray delivered in thirty," Ashley nodded.

"You can wait inside if you like," Shepard motioned to her stateroom. "Just leave my liquor alone."

"All right, I'll bring my own," Ashley answered.

"What?" Shepard feigned shock, "Last I checked, the Alliance Navy was dry."

"But you know, a still is the first thing the engineers install after engines." Ashley answered.

"True," Shepard grinned. "I hear that the latest batch was pretty sweet and with a sneaky kick."

"I'll get you a sample," Ashley offered.

"You better not, it probably tastes better and is drunk more cautiously if the crew thinks that I am completely unaware of the Adams Distillery below."

"Good point," Ashley said. "I'll be here when you return, ma'am."

"Okay, Chief."

* * *

><p>Shepard arrived at the comm. room just as Pressly did and she apologized for dragging him back from his downtime. "That's okay, Commander. I was just drafting a letter to the Mrs."<p>

"How is Esther?"

"Good," he grinned. "She still talks about having you over for dinner. Brags really."

"Brags?" Shepard gave a small laugh and then regretted it as she fought from wincing in front of Pressly.

"Yes," he answered. "It also didn't help that you requested her recipe for her baked ham."

"Mmmm," Shepard's mouth watered at the memory. "How on Earth can you leave a woman who cooks like that?"

"Henry's meatloaf is not so bad," Pressly winked.

"What?" Shepard approached the holo station. "There is nothing onboard the Normandy that matches the dinner Mrs. Pressly made for us."

"No argument there, Commander."

"Tell her that I said hello," Shepard smiled as she opened the receiver.

"This is Commander Elizabeth Shepard," she said as the holo popped up and to her surprise there was Dr. Liara T'Soni.

"Commander?" Liara looked slightly vulnerable as her image became clear.

"Dr. T'Soni," Shepard looked at Pressly and back at Liara. "How are you?"

"I am well, thank you," she answered, still a little hesitant. "I was … hoping to speak with you privately."

Shepard looked at Pressly and motioned for him to leave, "Of course, Pressly is just now leaving." As the conference door closed behind him, Shepard leaned against the table, "How can I help you?"

"I have been thinking of you," she started.

"Liara," Shepard raised up, her side reminding her that to move quickly was ill-advised.

"Oh, Commander," Liara stumbled. "I did not mean … Oh. It was wrong of me to … I never should have told you of my feelings. I am afraid that in so doing I have put you in a terrible position. I am sorry."

"No," Shepard leaned back, carefully, against the table. "Never apologize for being honest about how you feel." Even though Shepard questioned the sincerity of Liara, believing that the asari was just trying to get closer to her for the sake of the Matriarch, she erred on the side of honesty. She may not trust the asari but it would do her no harm to be kind unless her suspicions were confirmed as truth. And if she was wrong, that the asari was being truthful … well, Shepard was not cruel. She did not wish to hurt her.

"No, Commander," Liara said. "I … perhaps it is for the best. Your partner is one of your own kind."

"Yes," Shepard smiled. "But all I remember of our last talk is that we parted as friends. I do not remember anything else."

"You are too kind," Liara smiled and seemed to relax. "But that is not why I asked the Councilor to let me talk to you."

"No?" Shepard could feel the pills starting to ease her pain. "Did you discover something about the conduit?"

"The conduit?" Liara shook her head. "No … but I am researching."

Shepard gave a quiet laugh, "I wouldn't expect anything less, doctor."

Liara could see that Shepard was leaning slightly to the right, "Let us talk about you … Are you okay?"

"Me?" How long had it been since someone asked her how she was … really was?

"You do not look as if you are sleeping," Liara carefully explained. "In my research, my mind would not let me stop thinking about you. About what you experienced on Eden Prime. The visions must keep you up at night, Commander."

"The visions," Shepard whispered with an almost reverent tone. "They do tend to clash with sleep."

"You need to be at your best, Commander," Liara went on. "The crew relies on you for leadership. I understand that it can be a heavy burden on you … even though you do not share it … or allow it to show."

"Liara," Shepard could not show that she was right. "I'm fine. Really."

"Of course," Liara smiled. But then she began telling Shepard about a piece that the composer Akdhat had written for her oldest daughter called UttVoc. The infant struggled with sleep, so the composer had written a piece that would lull her to a place of slumber. "It is a hidden gem of hers that has rarely been performed and … I'm afraid that the only recordings that I could find are quite unacceptable. So I … well … I recorded me playing it on the onai here in Ciara's … I mean, Councilor Tevos' … residence."

"The onai?" Shepard had heard of the asari instrument and smiled. "You play the onai?"

"Of course," Liara frowned. "Do you not think that I was raised properly?"

"What?" Shepard, with the aid of the painkillers, laughed. "I'm sorry, if I've caused offense. I don't know how, but … I apologize."

"No," Liara realized that she had expected the human to know what type of training and education was required of someone in the Corallium Circle. "I have expected too much of you. Please forgive me."

_Expected too much of me?_ Shepard thought. _What the hell does that mean?_ But she curbed her tongue, deciding that it was just another case of _asari meets human_ and nothing more … "So this piece …"

"UttVoc," Liara said, and then went on to explain that it was a very soothing piece and used in meditations … Shepard began to feel undeserving of both Liara's time and energy. She placed her hand over her eyes as she fought back her emotions and Liara explained how the piece really needed more than an onai … "I am almost embarrassed now to have sent it to you."

"You've sent it to me?" Shepard asked, not removing her hand as she felt tears fighting to escape.

"Yes," Liara answered. "You should have it there within the next few hours … according to the Councilor."

"And all I have to do is listen to it?" Shepard struggled to keep her voice steady. "Listen and then sleep will follow?"

"You should have the lights dimmed, the room quiet and calm," Liara instructed. "I hope that you find stillness within it and there … sleep."

"Stillness," Shepard quickly wiped her eyes, hoping that the asari did not notice the redness that was probably in her eyes. "Thank you, Liara. I appreciate it."

"I wish you well, Commander," Liara smiled. "Well, I must leave now as I have class to attend to."

"Class?"

"Yes," Liara smiled. "I am assisting in a bioengineering class at the Dilinaga University."

"You're teaching?"

"Teaching?" Liara shook her head, "No. I am doing research and filling in as needed."

"You're a substitute teacher?" Shepard playfully asked.

"Professor, if you must know," Liara corrected.

"That's sexy," Shepard continued on, "You better watch out for students crushing on you."

"What?" Liara had been thrown by Shepard's use of the word _sexy_.

"Just teasing, doctor," Shepard smiled. "I'm surprised though. I would have thought that with your research into the conduit …"

"The University gives me access to the University of Serrice database," Liara explained. "I could have gained access here, to be honest …"

"You don't sit still well," Shepard smiled as she finished the sentence. "Or in one place for too long?"

"I am afraid not," Liara smiled back at her. "Mother … the Matriarch always said that one must keep busy or the mind would decay."

"Hmm, idle hands," Shepard said as she thought how pretty Liara was and then shook her head. _Alcohol and painkillers do not mix_, she told herself. _Or maybe it was the kind gesture? No. You are just tired … a little high … and … lonely. _Between her body, lack of sleep and loneliness her emotions were on edge and while she was not known for crying ... this evening had almost seen her dam break. Hopefully her talk with Ash would not be so emotional. Especially now that the pills were kicking it.

"I won't keep you any longer," Liara broke through her thoughts. "Be careful, Commander."

"You too," Shepard answered. "I hear that students are more dangerous than geth."

Liara laughed and then was gone.


	47. Coffee Chat

Shepard returned to her room just as Chief Henry Lawry placed the coffee tray on her table. "Henry," Shepard said, "You didn't need to bring it to my room ... One of the guys could have delivered it."

"What?" he readjusted the placement of the napkins, "None of those boys know how to properly deliver a tray to the Captain's quarters."

"Of course not," Shepard winked at Ashley.

"Will there be anything else, Commander?" Lawry asked.

"No, thank you," Shepard answered, taking her seat across from Ashley. "I really appreciate this."

"Ma'am," he saluted and then left.

"You like Spanish music?" Ash nodded up at the iMuse that was playing _Amanecer_ by Calixto Miguel.

"Remnants of a relationship with a Castillo," Shepard smiled as she poured each a cup of coffee. "Do you speak Spanish?"

"Si," Ashley answered. "Habla usted español?

"No," Shepard shook her head, as she added cream and sugar to her cup. "Parlez-vous français?"

"Competitive?" Ash raised a brow.

"Sorry," Shepard pouted and then took a bite of a cookie. "So when did you learn Spanish?"

"My mother taught me and my sisters growing up," Ashley answered, putting two cookies on her plate. "She's from Spain ... Alicante. At home we spoke Spanish, unless dad was there. Then it was English. He always felt that we were up to no good if we weren't speaking in a language he could understand. And he only speaks English."

Shepard nodded, remembering how her own father felt the same way when she and the preacher woman would speak in French. "How many siblings do you have?"

"Three ... all girls," Ashley answered. "I'm the oldest. After me comes Abby, then Lynn and bringing up the rear is Sarah."

"Wow," Shepard had always wondered what a brother or sister would have been like. But after the attack on Mindoir, she had been grateful that there was only her. Besides, Ricky and her two cousins were like brothers to her. "That must be nice having your parents and sisters around to talk with and to have their support."

"Oh," Ash put down her coffee. "I'm sorry … I forgot about …"

"It's okay, Chief," Shepard smiled. "I'm not completely tragic. I still have family on Earth."

"But I should have … I mean … I'm sorry …"

"Ash," Shepard touched her hand. "Really … it's okay. Honest."

"Ask me to clear a bunker of armed hostiles, no problem," Ashley said. "Dealing with the foot in my mouth? Not so good with it."

"So what do your parents do?" Shepard asked.

"My dad served in the Alliance," Ashley said. "He never got above Serviceman Third Class though … He was real proud of me when I made Chief. First thing he did was salute." The memory made Ashley grin.

"And your mom?" Shepard asked.

"She's a lot smarter than me," Ashley answered, picking up her cookie. "She has a degree in planetary geology. She and dad both wanted to see the new worlds but she gave up her career and … you might even say dreams, to raise us."

"Life is all about choices," Shepard said, breaking a cookie in two. "Deciding to have kids ... that's a pretty serious thing. Maybe she decided that she couldn't do both and between the two ... well, she wanted you and your sisters."

"You wouldn't give up your career for that," Ashley told her.

"Wouldn't I?" Shepard took a bite of her cookie.

"Would you?" Ashley asked.

"I loved growing up in Highland Falls," Shepard told her. "Childhood friends, ballet recitals, school plays, grass hockey in the park, riding my bike, community festivals, and my parents being at home every night. That stability, sense of belonging and knowing your parents are right there ... I'd want that for my kids."

"You know," Ash said. "I've never thought of you being normal."

"No?" Shepard shifted in her seat, her body feeling more at ease now that the pills were completely in her system working their magic.

"No. You're the hero of the Blitz … a Star of Terra recipient," Ashley explained. "Thinking of you as a kid alone, much less having one ... I just can't imagine you in a tu-tu, baking cookies or getting a C in school."

"I never got a C in school," Shepard laughed. "Anything below an A would have killed me … or should I say, it would have killed my mother. She expected the best from me … no, that's not quite right. That's a little unfair to her. She expected me to accept only the best from myself."

"I guess all mothers are like that," Ashley smiled. "Or at least yours and mine."

"I'm not complaining," Shepard said. "Her guidance, her expectations have gotten me through a lot. But my dad gets a little credit too. He was there every night as well to tuck me in and sometimes to lead our jail breaks."

"Jail breaks?" Ashley was confused.

"What we called our escapes from my mom," Shepard grinned. "And your dad?"

"My dad always wanted to serve in space," Ashley said. "But he wanted us to have real ground under our feet. He'd say, _Space is beautiful, but you can't raise a family there_. Having him home every night with us would have been nice though … But he needed to live his dream … _I cannot rest from travel, I will drink l__ife to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those t__hat loved me, and alone_."

Shepard was just about to bite into her cookie when Ashley had started reciting a bit of _Ulysses_, "Poetry?"

"Hey, just because I can drill you between the eyes at a hundred meters doesn't mean I can't like sensitive stuff," Ashley said a little embarrassed. "Just don't spread it around."

"Well I have one," Shepard grinned, as she put her cookie down. "There once was a fellow McSweeny, who spilled some gin on his weenie … Just to be couth, he added vermouth, then slipped his girlfriend a martini."

The limerick caught Ashley off-guard and because she couldn't keep from laughing, she spit her coffee down her shirt and on the table, which made Shepard laugh harder as she thanked the stars that the pain pills were in full swing. "Skipper! That was disgusting!"

"I'm sorry," Shepard apologized as she wiped the tears of laughter off her face. "God, I needed that. That was a lovely poem that a school friend, Ricky, once taught me. Who taught you?"

"Ulysses was dad's favorite poem," Ashley answered, still trying not to laugh. "Every time he shipped out, he recorded me reading it. He had a dozen versions when he retired. He passed away a few years back … so now I read it to his grave when I get back home."

"That's nice," Shepard smiled. "I'm sure he hears you."

"Yeh," Ashley looked at her mess and began wiping it up. "I know he looks down from Heaven on us."

"Heaven," Shepard looked at Ash. "Are you a believer, Ash?"

Ashley had learned to keep her spiritual beliefs to herself. When some people found out that she believed in God she was criticized, called a zealot and in some circles ostracized. She had heard that Shepard's mother was a pastor but she had not heard the Commander talk about anything religious since being around her. Growing up a pastor's kid did not guarantee belief and sometimes the person grew up to even resent their faith. She wasn't sure of where Shepard stood so she asked with caution, "Yes, ma'am … that's not a problem with you … is it? That I believe in God?"

"No, Chief," Shepard smiled. "Would it bother you if I didn't?"

"No, ma'am," Ashley answered. "What everyone else believes is their business."

"Good," Shepard had wanted to see if Ashley was tolerant of different viewpoints and so she had tested her. Unlike her parents, she had discovered that not all people ... religious or otherwise ... were always that accepting.

"Is it true that your mother was a pastor?" Ashley hoped that Shepard did not get mad at her for asking the question.

"Very true ... a Baptist Minister," Shepard smiled. "But my father was a non-believer."

"Really?" Ashley couldn't believe it.

"Honest Injun," Shepard laughed. "But they both believed in love, being kind, helping their neighbors and … they loved each other. They showed me what true acceptance was and I've never forgotten it."

"How did your mother's congregation take it?" Ashley asked. "I mean, your father not believing."

"Hmm," Shepard finished her coffee. "If there were issues, they were resolved by the time I was old enough to understand. My mother was the pastor in Highland Falls before I was even born. My dad would go to church on occasion … but she rarely made him go. To be honest, I think my dad found her hot when she was behind the pulpit so she preferred that her sinner husband stay away. I heard her once tell him that she half expected him to try and slide money into her bra as she preached. He told her he couldn't help it. That it was the librarian meets teacher meets holy woman thing."

"That must have been a little uncomfortable," Ashley laughed.

"Not really," Shepard smiled. "It was worse at home … my dad until the day he died was crushing on her. You always hear how love fades, and I know that my parents had their share of problems … but he never stopped loving my mom. She was uhm, inspirational … the most charismatic and compassionate person that I've ever known."

"So that's where you got it from?"

Shepard blushed, "No! If I were half as … No! I am not half the woman my mother was."

"I may not have known your mother," Ashley said. "But you are a very charismatic and inspirational person … as to the compassionate part. Well."

"Hey now," Shepard threw her napkin at Ashley. "Be nice there Chief."

"Sorry, Commander." Ashley threw the napkin back and finished her coffee.

Shepard had been enjoying her conversation with Ashley, but she knew that they had yet to discuss what was really on her mind. So she placed her empty cup and plate back on the tray and then looked at Ashley, "So, what's really on your mind, Chief?"

"Well," Ashley, hesitated as she put her empty coffee cup and plate on the tray. "I know things are different aboard the Normandy now that it is under your command … but."

"But?" Shepard had felt tension growing among the crew and the non-humans and it had doubled after a turian was brought onboard. She knew that her Officers, especially Pressly, had smoothed out some ruffled feathers but the First Contact War had left deep scars. Especially in the Alliance.

"I'm concerned about the aliens," she looked at Shepard, cautiously. "Vakarian and Wrex ... With all due respect, Commander, should they have full access to the ship?"

"Hmm," Shepard slowly folded her napkin as she thought through her words carefully. She wanted to make sure that she handled this as delicately as possible. The fact that many of her crew was struggling with having aliens on board was a very emotional and sensitive subject matter. She realized that she was not only talking with her Gunnery Chief, but the soldiers that Ashley represented. She knew that if she could get Ashley to at least understand why having them onboard was important, then she would have one more advocate. "So … what are these concerns, Chief?"

"This is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy," Ash said. "I don't think we should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems ... Engines. Sensors. Weapons."

"I see," Shepard stood and walked over to the iMuse. Sharon Corr and Alex Ubago were dueting on _Amarrado a Ti_. This song was the closest that her and Manny ever had to sharing a song as it mixed English and Spanish. Life in San Antonio was so much easier … so much simpler. If she said the wrong thing back there it only impacted her and maybe one person. Here, to say the wrong thing had farther reaching consequences. Every word that she uttered had the ability to inspire or … destroy. And the ripples could carry past a single person. She ran her hand through her hair and frowned.

"Commander?" Ashley was worried that she had been too open with Shepard as she watched her standing in silence. Worried that she had overstepped the boundaries with the woman that she had grown to not only admire but trust. Now as she saw a frown on the Commander's face, she worried that Shepard was going to put her back on KP … permanently. Or worse. She was going to send her away.

Shepard hung her head for a moment and then turned around, "Chief, is this the first time that you've worked around aliens?"

"Yes, ma'am," Ashley answered. "Mainly I've been groundside ... Part of the surface garrison forces. I did get a rotation on a space station for training. _Every marine, a rifleman, every rifleman, zee-gee certified_."

"Has Wrex or Garrus failed in the field?" Shepard moved back to the table and sat down.

"No, ma'am," Ashley answered. "I'd just be more comfortable if they didn't have access to engineering and the CIC."

Shepard grabbed a clean coffee cup and saucer from the tray. She then began turning the empty cup counter-clockwise, "Limited access. Hm. So you don't mind them putting their life at risk next to us … but I should lock them in their rooms when they're not fighting?"

"No, ma'am," Ashley shook her head. "I don't mean we should mistreat them, Commander."

"Ash," Shepard leaned forward, "I don't think that any of the non-Alliance personnel aboard the Normandy is going to betray us. The quarian has already made improvements in engineering, the turian has tightened up the weapons on the Mako according to Corporal Greico … and Wrex," Shepard leaned back. "And Wrex. I see the looks of fear that he gets … not just from humans but the salarians, asari, turians … hmph. Even other krogans. A part of me thinks that I am absolutely crazy for trusting him. Who in their right mind would trust a krogan? ... But I do."

"But Commander," Ashley reasoned. "What happens if he goes into a blood rage? If one of us angers him he could go off? He could kill us all if that happens."

Shepard knew that Ashley's fear was not without merit. Krogan biology 101. The blood rage was a mindless, murderous fury that had seen many a krogan kill both enemies and friends. "Well, given that only Chase and Satake hang out with him. Hmm … Chase is an amazing req officer, I'll admit, and would be missed … but with Satake … he might be doing us a favor."

"Skipper!" Ashley couldn't help but laugh, despite herself.

"Sorry," Shepard shrugged. "Give Vakarian a chance, Ash … I think he is just trying to find a place to belong. And while I can see your concerns with Wrex … I need him. I can't really explain why. I just do. Call it faith. Will me letting them wander about and help where needed be a problem, Chief?"

"It won't be a problem, Commander," Ash answered. "You say _jump_, I say _how high_. You tell me to kiss a turian, I'll ask which cheek."

"Now that was an image I didn't need," Shepard laughed as she stood up. She had wanted to check her mail and see if Liara's message had come through yet. As she walked over to her desk, Ashley stood and started cleaning up the table.

"Commander?" Ashley called out as she picked up the tray.

"Yes?" Shepard looked over at her as she started up her netbook.

"Be careful with the Council," she said. "I don't think you can depend on them."

"You don't trust them as well?" Shepard leaned back against her desk.

"I just think we should be prepared to go without them," Ashley answered. "As noble as the Council members seem now, if their backs are against the wall, they'll abandon us ... They'll abandon you."

"You think that they are hoping I'll fail?" Shepard asked. "That they still carry a grudge over the First Contact War or can't stand our … oh, how did Liara put it? Our bully ways?"

"Not a grudge," Ashley answered. "Members of their species will always be more important to them than humans are … If it comes down to them or us, they will protect their own."

"I pray that it never comes down to that," Shepard said. "I hope that all races would come together if it was ever needed to survive … that we would ban together. But, a part of me agrees with you. A part of me says that there would be some who would go into a sort of self-preservation mode. Maybe even an ostrich mode ... you know, head in the sand."

"I hope that I am wrong, too," Ashley said. "But I think we are already seeing an ostrich mode."

"Hm," Shepard scanned through her mail and did not see anything yet. _Criminy_, she thought and then looked at Ashley, "You know … we all believe that we would do the right thing. That we would sacrifice ourselves to save others if needed. That we wouldn't be afraid. That we would fight back no matter what. That our high moral standards could not be bent or swayed." Shepard walked over to Ash. "In that, we have a very distorted view of ourselves … a puffed up, vain view."

"Commander?" Ashley had never seen Shepard this serious on the Normandy.

"The average person doesn't run into a burning building," Shepard said. "They don't risk their lives or the lives of their loved ones to save strangers. And once they have lived long enough, had life put them through the paces ... then they start to see who they really are. Not always heroic and not always the coward. Ashley, because they aren't that one in a million person … that individual that rises above all the rest … that ignores common sense and fear and blindly runs against the crowd into the face of danger … it doesn't make them the villain. It makes them imperfect ... frail ... and beautiful. That's the very people that we protect and that the Council represents. They are going to make mistakes ... and so are we."

"Yeh," Ashley looked into Shepard's eyes and nodded, "I see what you mean."

"Ash," Shepard placed a hand on her shoulder, "I'm not asking you to change what you think … or feel. There may come a time that we are left to deal with some darkness on our own. When an alien race leaves us to fight the darkness as they try and save their own people … In that moment, you can say _I told you so._ But for now, please give the small band of misfits on the Normandy a chance. Can you do that?"

"Yes, ma'am." Ashley said. "I'll give them a chance."

"Thanks, Chief." Shepard walked Ashley to the door. "I'm sorry if I ..."

"Preached a little?" Ashley teased.

"What?" Shepard laughed. "Hey, it's not preaching until a collection plate is produced."

Ashley went to leave, stopped and said, "You know, I've enjoyed this coffee chat. If you ever want to do this again."

"I'd like that," Shepard smiled. "Goodnight, Chief ... and sorry for the sermon."

* * *

><p>Shepard changed into her sleepwear and sat at her desk, changing her iMuse from her Latin playlist to <em>Too Much, Too Little, Too Late<em>. Her body, free from pain, began to move with the beat and as she turned up the volume she stood up and began to dance around. She knew that even though the pain was gone, she needed to be careful. That she could do more damage, especially without her body able to send warnings. The song took her back to Ricky's bedroom when they were just fifteen. He had asked her to teach him to slow dance for the upcoming Halloween dance at the school and so there she was … He was nervous, she was teasing and the memory made her smile. By the end of that evening he was singing Johnny Mathis' part and she was Deniece Williams. Okay, once they had switched parts and it had left them screaming with laughter as he put on a towel as a skirt and pranced around … while she taped on a fake mustache and wore one of his ties.

That had led to them dressing up as Marc Antony and Cleopatra for the dance. It had caused quite a stir when they entered … cross-dressed. Shepard laughed at the memory of Ricky dressed as Cleopatra and if you asked her, she made a fine Marc Antony. As she waited for Liara's message to get through, she kept hitting repeat on the song and thinking of her best friend. She often wondered where he was and prayed that he was okay … safe. But she also knew that a part of her was afraid to find him. Her Ricky was a good boy but he would never run into the fire. He was the type of person that needed a hero, not to be the hero … and she knew that. As she sat on the bed, she prayed that he was given strength wherever he was and that hopefully he was somewhere happy. That maybe he had found freedom and was living with an asari, had a dozen blue babies and every so often thought of her.

Shepard stopped the music, returned to her netbook and smiled as she saw a message from Dr. Liara T'Soni. The message itself made Shepard grin … _formal, cold and proper to the nth degree_, she thought. The message re-told the story behind the 14 minute piece, hoped that she was well and that was that. Shepard then downloaded the attachment to her iMuse, placed it back on its dock, dimmed the lights, crawled into bed and then turned the music of _UttVoc_ on. The first thing that she noticed was the way that Liara played the onai. She had doubted that the asari would be terrible but she was surprised at how well she played. She may not play the onai herself, but as a musician she could tell that the piece was even more complicated then _EtZev_, despite its simplicity.

The challenge wasn't technically but emotionally. The piece required the musician to convey warmth, tenderness and peace. These were quiet emotions and left little room for error. Shepard could not only tell that Liara was technically strong but that she also was emotionally strong. It made her smile as she imagined the asari playing the piece. She had considered Liara more on the cold side … the reserved side. But in this piece, she could feel that beneath the asari's reserve was depth of spirit. There had to be based on how the music had come alive.

Once Shepard stopped focusing on the performance and let the music stand on its own, she closed her eyes and immediately she was pulled by the sound of a light rain. She could hear the drops landing on flowers. But as with _EtZev_, she knew that if she listened closer she would hear something else underneath. It took another few minutes before she moved past the rain and there she saw a field of wheat. Gold. A cool breeze. As she began to walk through it she saw a form on the other side. A familiar form. As she moved closer she soon realized that it was her mother and without hesitation she ran to her. As she fell into her mother's arms, she caught the long forgotten scent of Hannah and she began to cry. How could she have ever forgotten her mother's scent? Her mother began to whisper words of comfort as the tears came and as Hannah placed kisses on her eyelids, cheeks and mouth … Shepard repeated, "Maman je t'aime" over and over.

As she opened her eyes, she heard Crayfish singing _Tell Me Your Name_ and shook her head. "I need to put the song on repeat," she mumbled as she felt a slight pain in her body. The pain should have been gone for at least 8 hours, according to Chakwas, and Shepard groaned as she got out of bed. It couldn't have been more than three hours since she took them. And then Shepard saw the time on her netbook. It was twelve minutes after seven … she had slept for nine hours. "Nine hours?" Shepard couldn't believe it. She looked at the iMuse, thought of Liara and then shook her head. _It must have been the painkillers_, she told herself. _It had to be_.


	48. Feros Divine

The colony had seen better days and with the geth pushing up against them, they had taken shelter in a freighter grounded just outside the main port. The buildings around the freighter were either destroyed, gutted or filled with small reserves of food and ammunition. Shepard, Kaidan, Lt. Diouf and Wrex were the first to walk into the camp before sunrise and they were greeted by hostility. Exogeni security officer Arcelia Silva Martinez had greeted them with complete anger and disgust as her first words of _You're a bit late, aren't you?_ were thrown at them.

Fai Dan, the apparent leader of the colony, had stepped in and tried to calm her … but Shepard could see that the colonists were at the end of their rope. After Shepard, Wrex, Kaidan, Lt. Diouf and a section of marines had secured the perimeter, Shepard had Dr. Chakwas and Chief Lawry set up areas to give aid to the colonist. Chief Lawry's team was serving the colonists scrambled eggs, rice, beans and toast while Dr. Chakwas and her staff were looking at the injured and the handful of children.

"What's wrong with Wrex?" Kaidan asked as he approached Shepard and Diouf, who were discussing the layout of Zhu's Hope.

Shepard looked over at Wrex, who was standing a few feet to her right with his shotgun in hand, and frowned, "He says that he tastes taint."

"He tastes what?" Kaidan looked over at Wrex.

"Taint," Shepard repeated as a soldier approached with coffee. "I just taste dirt and clay and cement ... and smell rain on its way."

"Commander," the soldier held the cup towards her, "Chief Lawry said to give you this."

"Thanks," Shepard took the cup and looked over at a group of colonists to her left.

"_He's right, though_," Diouf, speaking in French said.

"_Yes_," Shepard, slipping into her mother's tongue, agreed. "_Something is really off here_."

"_I still cannot see how they have survived,_" Diouf looked up at the sky to the east. "_And rain is coming ... see the storm_?"

Shepard nodded as Kaidan looked at the battered area, "Makeshift defenses, untrained civilians … it's a miracle anyone is still standing."

"Miracle?" Shepard took a drink of her coffee. "I don't think so ... I can't put my finger on it, but something is skewed here."

"I admit that the people seem a little distance," Kaidan said. "But …"

"Stepford wives distant," Diouf cut him off.

"I wouldn't …" Kaidan started to disagree but Wrex stopped him as he gave a low growl.

Shepard gave a quick whistle which seemed to quiet the krogan and made Diouf shake his head, "Are you going to give him a milkbone too?"

"What?" Shepard glared, "I didn't whistle like that ... Wrex is no one's pet."

Wrex gave a grunt towards Diouf and he quickly told Wrex that he did not mean any slight, "A poor choice of words. Excuse my humor."

"You mean your ignorance," Wrex said.

"Kaidan," Shepard returned to the previous conversation, "they should not have survived. You saw the pile of geth out there. How did these … civilians do that?"

"Commander," Kaidan said, "According to this Fai Dan … they lost over three quarters of their people."

"At the start of the attack," Diouf said, keeping one eye on the krogan. "That means for the past month they have held out with … what? Fifty civilians and one rent-a-cop?"

"No," Shepard shook her head. "These people are off."

"Why?" Kaidan asked. "Just because they won't really talk? They have been struggling to survive, Commander."

"Their children were wandering around like chickens," Shepard reminded him. "Unattended chickens … One two-year-old was found out in the corn field. That doesn't strike you as odd? How do people not protect their children?"

"They were being attacked when we arrived," Kaidan defended the colonists. "Once the colony was safe they looked for them."

Shepard shook her head, "Kaidan, I've lived through this too many times. Never have I seen children not pulled to a safe place. It's as if they were protecting … I don't even know what. But it wasn't their children."

"Themselves," Diouf guessed. "Yellow bastards … they were protecting themselves."

"And where are their dead?" Wrex asked.

"They probably have a grave site somewhere," Kaidan said to Wrex as Shepard turned her back to the colony and looked out at the early morning fog of Feros. The memory of that little boy … dirty, cold and hungry … angered her and the answer that Fai Dan had given her only angered her more. She had debated taking the children onboard the Normandy but she didn't need to fight the colonists as well as the geth. She wondered if they would even care. So she had taken over one of the buildings and had it set up as their housing. Ashley had volunteered to watch over the two babies, seven toddlers, four children and three teenagers … but Shepard needed her on this outing. Besides, a nurse was better suited for the role as many of the kids were suffering from malnutrition.

"I can't believe the colony has held out as long as it has," Garrus said as he approached the group.

Shepard, with her back to him, had noticed in her peripheral vision, Wrex pointing his shotgun at the turian's legs as he passed and shook her head. It seemed that the krogan had a problem with the turian more than the humans did and she would need to somehow fix that … or hope that the two would work it out in the field. "That seems to be the consensus, Garrus."

Garrus walked up to Shepard, who was still facing away from them and delivered a message, "Dr. Chakwas asked that you see her before you leave."

Both Diouf and Kaidan made faces at Garrus that said, _Go away quickly ... Run in fact!_

_ Chakwas_, Shepard frowned. The two had butted heads again not four hours earlier causing a nurse and an assistant to rush out of the med bay to avoid the storm. Shepard had brought in her empty bottle of pain medicine and asked for a booster before she exited the Normandy. Chakwas had said no and demanded that Shepard not go out on the mission, not take any more pain medication and stay in bed for a few days. The doctor told her that her body needed time to repair itself and that she would not give the Commander any more pain pills or booster shots until she started following her advice. Shepard had told her that she was not listening to her ... that as she said prior, she could not rotate herself out and that the doctor was being inconsistent as "other members of the team have had injuries … but you didn't tell me to put them on bed rest."

"Other members? … Other members? I have requested rotation on everyone except one! The krogan!" Chakwas had almost yelled.

"So just one," Shepard slammed the empty bottle down. "One or a hundred … what's the difference? You have never advised me to take Wrex out of service. So why me?"

"You are not a krogan, Commander," Chakwas was frustrated with her headstrong Commander. "You are not built like a one ton truck and more importantly, you do not have back up parts! Your body is in need of rest! Healing!"

"Dammit, doctor!" Shepard yelled back, "Why aren't you listening to me? I don't have the same luxury as the others. I cannot sit out a dance … don't you understand? Or do you think that I like this pain? That I like fighting back screams when my body tears at me?"

"I'm beginning to wonder," Chakwas slammed her datapad down. "But I will not be a part of this self-abuse."

"Blast you!" Shepard pushed a chair against a wall, "Pain pills or not … booster shot or not … I am not sitting this out! So you either help me or send me out behind the eight ball! Doesn't matter! I'm going out either way."

As Shepard stormed towards the exit, Chakwas quickly reached out and grabbed Shepard's arm … causing the Commander to wince in pain. "Fine! You want to punish your body … you want to push yourself so far that you might not come back from the battlefield? Fine! Drop your drawers and bend over!" Chakwas opened her medicine cabinet and pulled out a cocktail designed to cut pain and increase energy. As she pulled out a syringe Shepard lowered her pants and without a word bent slightly over, prepared for a less then gentle prick to her backside. Afterwards, there were no words exchanged but a few glares by both.

Shepard told Garrus to tell the doctor that she would see her if she _had time_. Shepard knew that this would upset the doctor more but she did not need another lecture ... not now. Yes, she knew that the doctor was right. But she honestly felt that she had no choice. None.

"Are you we leaving soon for the ExoGeni headquarters?" Kaidan asked. "That security officer Martinez says that it is located at the end of the skyway."

"Soon," Shepard answered, turning around and watching Garrus walk back to the doctor. "But you are staying here."

"Shepard," Kaidan did not want to stay behind. They had already had two clashes with pockets of synthetics and Fai Dan had said that based on one of their scouts, the headquarters was the nest.

"Sorry, Kaidan," Shepard looked at him. "I need you to stay here with a squad and watch over the colonists."

Ashley walked up with a plate of food and said to Shepard, "Dr. Chakwas said that you need to eat, Commander ... So Henry made you a plate."

"Dammit!" Shepard looked over at Chakwas who was now using an otoscope on a small child and ignoring her.

"That looks good," Diouf said at the plate of food. "I missed breakfast."

"It's for the Commander," Ashley told him.

"Thanks, Chief," Shepard said as she took the plate and handed it to Diouf. "Tell the doc I ate it all."

"Commander!" Ashley glared at Diouf. "You have to eat."

"No," Shepard pulled up the map leading to the ExoGeni HQ on her omni-tool. "It seems a pretty straight shot. Diouf, pull together a squad … we are leaving in the next thirty. Ash, you're going to."

"Yes, ma'am!" she smiled at Shepard but then glared at Diouf who was taking a bite of the eggs.

"Kaidan," Shepard motioned to a walkway off to their left, "come with me."

"Yes, ma'am."

As they moved away from the others and stood with a view of Fai Dan and Martinez, Shepard said, "I want you to give canisters of K-15 to your squad. If these colonists start to act even the slightest … squirrely … neutralize the area."

"That incapacitating agent is still experimental, Shepard," Kaidan said. "What happens if it kills some of them?"

"Let's hope it doesn't," Shepard was starting to feel anger again.

"Shepard," Kaidan could not believe that Shepard was willing to take that risk.

"They left their children to wander, Kaidan," Shepard said, her eyes dark. "Who does that? We might even find more on the road to the headquarters … Fai Dan had no idea how many children were still alive in camp. As far as I'm concerned, they're lucky I don't kill them myself."

"What about the kids?" he asked. "It could kill them too?"

Shepard sighed, "The children are upwind ... They should be fine."

Kaidan looked over at the colonists, "I can't believe …"

"Dammit, Kaidan," Shepard knew that she was being short tempered … impatient and hard. But she didn't really care. She was tired … and angry. Angry at everything. "Look, shoot em, gas em or fuck em … I don't care! Just stay on guard and once I'm gone … I want all personnel except for the squad and the nurse taking care of the children to return to the Normandy. No exceptions."

Kaidan watched Shepard walk back over to Wrex and he knew that she was on the edge. He had heard about the argument between her and the doctor … everyone on the Normandy had. He had also noticed that she was not walking with her normal energy and she had not been seen in the gym for the past couple weeks. Something was wrong, but given her mood swings of late … he knew that it was dangerous ground to ask what was going on. He just hoped that whatever was wrong would pass and that Shepard would return to her normal self.

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful day in Armali and Tatiaria was enjoying the breeze in her private courtyard reading Dante's <em>The Divine Comedy<em>. Well, she was trying to after her bondmate, Delana, had recommended it. Delana with a human jenda had started trying more human things … poems and literature being one of them. These new finds were being passed on to her mate and Tatiaria found them to be lacking when compared to their own works. But no one could say that she wasn't trying.

She put the read down on the seat next to her and stood to stretch. There was no one else in her home except the two servants and they were cleaning the serenity wall facing the courtyard entrance. She had started to walk back towards her master suite when she heard the comm. station sound.

"Sister!" She hoped as she raced through the courtyard to her reading room.

"Tatiaria?" The Matriarch could be heard calling as she entered the room and switched the audio on. "Tatiaria, are you there?"

"Sister!" Tatiaria cried, "I have been worried about you … Where are you?"

"I am safe … that is all you need to know." The Matriarch answered. "Are you well?"

"What?" Tatiaria's heart was pounding.

"Are you well, sister?"

"Yes … But I would be better if I knew where you were," Tatiaria fought back tears. "You have been missed and the Matriarch Livia has requested that you return home."

She heard the Matriarch give a small laugh, "She has requested?"

"Of course," Tatiaria sat down at her desk. "She wants to be in your presence again … as we all do. Please come home."

"Home," the Matriarch said wistfully. "In due time ... Have you been hearing things about me?"

Tatiaria looked at her hands resting on the desk, wondering what she should say, "Hearing things?"

"Tati," the voice was so soothing, "you know that you can confide in me … that you are my greatest joy. Have you heard anything about me?"

"The Councilor thinks that you have betrayed us," Tatiaria proceeded carefully.

"Betrayed?" She heard Matriarch say. "You don't believe that I would betray you? Betray our home? Betray Thessia? Do you, Tati?"

"I knew that you would not turn on us," Tatiaria breathed a sigh of relief. "I assured her that you would never do that ... That you would never betray us. My heart is lightened and my spirit calmed, sister."

"I am pleased to see that you have not lost your faith in me," Benezia had the faint sound of a smile in her voice. "I had been worried that with my absence someone might have poisoned your mind. Made you doubt me and my commitment to our people."

"You will always have my support," Tatiaria smiled, joy flooding through her body.

"I am touched, indeed, by your faith," the Matriarch's voice light. "These are dark times, Tati."

"Dark?" Tatiaria put a hand to her cheek, "What do you mean?"

"There are many enemies," The Matriarch confided, "I have heard that a SpecTRe is hunting me and that it is motivated out of revenge ... revenge by a Captain Anderson who has spread lies against me and ... allies of mine."

"Revenge?" Tatiaria's peace of mind slipping.

"Yes," she answered. "Lies, deceit and betrayal ... My heart has been heavy, my thoughts troubled as I imagined that you would believe others over me."

"Come home, sister," Tatiaria begged. "Please. We can protect here ... Come home."

"Not yet," she answered. "But I am so touched to see that I still have your trust and support."

"Of course," Tatiaria looked at a picture of her sister sitting on her desk.

"I rely on you," Benezia told her. "And I know that only you can help me in a certain matter. But I have no doubt that my faith in you is sound."

"Help you?" Tatiaria's moment of joy was fast slipping away as she was slowly beginning to sense something wrong. "How may I help you, sister?"

"I need you to transfer funds to an account that I've uploaded to you," Benezia informed her. "I am working on a few projects and need additional funding."

"An account?" Tatiaria moved over to her netpad and upon receiving the upload almost choked at the amount. Benezia was requesting over half of her worth to be transferred to an account attached to the company, Binary Helix. As executor of the estate only Tatiaria had the authority to request the transfer, as Benezia had signed over her rights to her sister. "Benezia, why do you need this amount of … of … this is over half of your wealth. I would have to sell assets to meet this amount."

"Do not question me," Benezia's voice sliced through the air, "just see that it happens."

Tatiaria now knew that something was wrong. Her sister would never have requested that amount of money to be placed in another account ... unless it was Liara's. And even that would not happen until Liara was much older … at least a few centuries more. And Benezia would never just sell off assets without careful consideration. She had given an amount to Tatiaria without any care as to what was sold off to meet that number. No. This was not Benezia. But as her mind raced on what she should do ... she said nothing of her thoughts to her sister, "Of course, Benezia. But it may take a while. The Chaironton Festival is in its final phase and you know how everything is slowed … and businesses are short-staffed. And then I have promised to go with the family to celebrate in Messonia. It could take a few weeks before I can even make the sales and the transfer request."

The Matriarch seemed to soften, "As expected … I had estimated a month for the transactions and transfer to be complete."

Tatiaria breathed a sigh of relief, "A month ... yes. That should be plenty of time."

"Messonia?" The Matriarch asked, changing the subject. "We have had such wonderful times there. But I was hoping that you might celebrate the Chaironton Festival with me."

"Sister?" Tatiaria nervously pressed her dress robe flat, "Where?"

"I could arrange to have you brought to me," the Matriarch said. "It would please me if you were to come and celebrate as we did in the past ... I am sure that if you were to be in my presence you would come to understand the importance of what I am doing. I could even use your assistance."

Tatiaria felt her heart race at her sister's words … but it was not out of desire but fear. "I wish that I could sister … but you know how Delana is and Matriarch Livia is also joining us for the celebrations there. Why do you not come to the villa instead? We could swim in the Crysta Sea and you could continue with your teaching me the nectpir."

… silence …

"Sister?" Tatiaria felt her throat tighten.

"If only I could … Such a shame to not be together," Benezia's voice sweet. "But if you must deny me your presence ... you would not deny me my daughter … would you, Tati?"

… silence …

"Tati?" The Matriarch's voice showing concern. "Please let the Councilor know that I will be sending for Liara and that she is to be released to my agents. I am so lonely without her."

"She is … the Councilor … we …" Tatiaria lost her voice.

"Come, sister," the Matriarch softened even more. "Do you not know how I have worried about her?"

"She is," Tatiaria answered, tears starting to form in her eyes. "I promise she is safe."

"I would like to have her with me," Benezia's voice choked. "I need to be with my daughter … and I know that she needs me."

"Liara is … the Councilor has ..." Tatiaria was stumbling now. "She … has commitments too ... commitments during this season."

"Tati," Benezia sounded as if she was crying, "She needs me … I need her ... You can understand the pain."

"Of course," Tatiaria hated to hear the Matriarch like that … but it was wrong. All wrong. Her sister had never acted like that and now she knew that she had to protect Liara … protect the family. Even if it meant betraying the one she loved the most. "But Liara is well, sister. Maybe after the festival ... you both can come home."

"Liara well?" the Matriarch said. "How can she be well? She has been lied to … used … to think that Ciara would have allowed the human Alliance to hold my daughter hostage … to surround her with their lies … Tati, she has no experience with that kind and they must have tried to make her believe that I … her mother … could not be trusted. You know what that could do to her … the confusion and pain it would cause her. She needs to be with me so that I might put her fears to rest. To open her mind to mine ... You must see that."

Tatiaria stood up, "Humans … yes. But … she …"

"I fear that the human who held her," the Matriarch continued, "This Commander Shepard … she would hurt her. Even kill her to get to me, Tati … Only I can protect her."

"No, sister," Tatiaria's mind was swimming. She knew that she had to protect her niece … and as her thoughts raced from Liara's shared impression of the SpecTRe to Benezia's confusing letter of rejection for this same SpecTRe … O_h, Goddess!_ Tatiaria's mind raced on, _I must protect our family. If Benezia were to kill the human SpecTRe … the shame would fall on all of us … Especially on Liara ... Liara would be marked for ... no! I must try and protect her … protect us_ … _I must put a restraint on Benezia …_"Commander Shepard would not hurt Liara, sister."

"She would kill her," Benezia responded. "The human has only hatred for our kind … and must be stopped. Do not be caught in her web, Tati!"

"The human loves your daughter!" Tatiaria blurted out in desperation. "And … and … the feeling is mutual. Yes! They are together! You cannot hurt the Commander, sister. She has found favor with Liara."

"What?" Benezia's voice cut through the air. "Who approved this?"

Tatiaria placed a hand on her throat, ashamed of her lies … but unable to stop herself, "I did, sister."

"You fool!" The Matriarch said. "I will send for her! Tell the Councilor to have my daughter ready. She will not be with this human!"

Tatiaria felt the panic rise and in complete desperation heard herself push the lies even further, "Liara is … scheduled to fly to … uh, she … wanted to celebrate the festival with this human at the Aikaterine. So ... Liara won't be there ... for very long."

"The Aikaterine?" The Matriarch no longer sounding angry but interested. "The SpecTRe and Liara will both be there?"

"Yes," Tatiaria answered, tears running down her face. "So you see … she is okay. The ... the human would not hurt her … and you must not hurt the human. It would dishonor us and hurt Liara."

"If Liara is with Commander Shepard," the voice cold, "Why are they not together now? When did my daughter find humans pleasing? You must be mistaken? Or are you … lying? Would you lie to me, sister? Why would you do that? Are you trying to … protect this human?"

"What?" Tatiaria began to focus on her breathing … she must sound calm … she must make Benezia believe her lies … "I have never lied to you. Liara and this Commander Shepard are together. The Councilor wanted to confirm that Liara was okay and ..." Tatiaria stopped as the tears tore at her.

"And they will be in the Aikaterine … soon?"

"Yes," Tatiaria continued on with the betrayal. "For the final week of the festival. You … you know how Liara loves celebrating the first harvest. She ... she wanted to share it with ... this Shepard."

"The final week," the Matriarch almost purred. "Thank you, sister … Do not disappoint me. I will look for the transfer within the month."

And with that the line went dead.

"Oh, what have I done?" Tatiaria cried. She had never lied to her sister … and now she had shamed them both by lies and betrayal. As her body shook with grief she knew that she would have to inform Ciara Tevos … Inform her of the web that she had just spun. How would she forgive herself? She picked up the image of her sister and the tears fell even harder. _I have shown you dishonor and I hope that you will forgive me, sister. But I must protect Liara ... I must protect that which you love the most. Please understand and forgive me. I do this for you ... even if it shatters my own heart, sister._


	49. ExoGeni Dance

It had been almost two hours since the team had left Zhu's Hope and in that time they had been battling non-stop, or so it seemed. From the skyway entrance to the ExoGeni headquarters the team had come under fire with the geth crawling everywhere. _Mechanical fire ants_, Diouf had started calling them for no other reason than they pissed him off just like the fire ants that had attacked him as a young boy. It appeared to Shepard that the geth had just one goal ... To cut down anything that was blood, muscles and bones.

Shepard and Diouf had noticed that once they were past the Zhu's Hope area that there were very few defeated geth lying about. Almost none. But there were bodies of humans … men, women, children … everywhere. It made Shepard and Diouf even more suspicious about the colonists and their survival … how had a bunch of farmers survive an onslaught of these things as she saw the bodies of armed guards defeated all along the skyway. _Luck? A miracle?_ Diouf had asked. _No_, came Shepard's quick response. Something was definitely wrong and seeing the massacre along the route only confirmed it. Something was not right with Fai Dan and the others. She hoped that Kaidan would do what was needed if something went wrong there but she worried that he might hesitate because they were civilians. A concern that she had shared with Diouf on the road to ExoGeni.

Tali had asked to come with her on this mission because of the geth, but Shepard had told her no. She worried having non-military personnel on a mission and she could tell that this upset the quarian. So she had made her a deal … "You train with Diouf and get his approval and maybe … just maybe ... you can come out with us on a future mission. But only when he says that you are ready and I agree." Tali had nodded and then presented a hacking device that the quarian had designed and told Shepard that once it was attached to the computer of Mr. Zinan Akutagawa, ExoGeni's Chief Operating Officer, she could scan the files for Shepard. "The geth are here for something, Commander," she had told Shepard. "ExoGeni might have located a beacon or this conduit … if they did, it will be documented and the COO would have full access." Leave it to the quarian to research who the captain was at the helm of the ship … or the company.

Shepard remembering how the quarian's shoulders had slumped at being rejected was grateful that she had not brought her as they moved slowly on the skyway, passing the dead. This was heightened as she looked at the markings of road kill on the skyway and seeing that the kills were not animals. Not only did she worry how the young quarian would have handled the brutality of a battle field but how she would have impacted the team. If the team had not been professional soldiers, trained to work together and through operant conditioning … trained to kill … they would have all died on the skyway. Granted there was Wrex and Garrus as well, but Wrex was a battlemaster and Garrus a former C-Sec officer. Tali was a young quarian on her pilgrimage.

As their caravan slowly moved forward, Shepard and the team looked out for survivors. But there were none and Shepard thought of her visions as they passed an area that had seen a final stand for an approximate forty people. _They were no match_, she thought. _The geth found these poor souls to be easy kills. Is this the future? Is this what that message meant? That there is no hope? _As bits of the vision peeked out, Shepard's head started to slightly throb. _No, no! Don't think about the vision, idiot. It never ends well and you know it._

Further up, the team had stopped when they had seen a small school bus … all the students were dead and one soldier had broke down when one of the students reminded him of his sister. "Private," Shepard had put her arm around him, "It's okay."

"Sorry, ma'am," he had said after he had stopped crying. "I'm sorry for being weak."

"Weak?" Shepard looked up at the bus window, a young girl's head leaning against it. "Not weak, Private. The day a soldier no longer feels …"

"Shepard," Wrex cut in, "no sense standing around."

Shepard looked at Wrex who did not seem even slightly disturbed by the death and destruction around them ... _Why would he?_ Shepard shook her head. _He's probably seen worse ... done worse ... like me._ "Right," she said back to him. She then gave a quick rub to the soldiers arm, "You in the mood for a little payback, soldier?"

"Ma'am?" he looked up, his eyes red.

"There are two kinds of people that understand Marines," she said.

"Two?" the soldier wiped his eyes.

"A Marine and the enemy," Diouf answered, putting out his cigarette.

Shepard grinned at Diouf and then turned back to the Private, "Everyone else has a second-hand opinion ... Let's go help these tin can motherfuckers understand the Marines, shall we?"

"Oorah," the team called out.

"Humans," Wrex grumbled as he passed her. "Too much talking … not enough killing."

* * *

><p>"And you have no doubt that Benezia is no longer faithful to Thessia?" Tevos asked as she rose from her desk.<p>

"No ... no doubt," Tatiaria said, over the comm. "As much as it grieves me to say ... the Matriarch is no longer to be trusted."

Tevos began to move slowly around her desk, a finger to her lip, "What was said that made you come to this conclusion?"

"It was not so much what was said," Tatiaria answered, "but ... something was wrong. The Matriarch was not herself ... she was not responding as she would have in the past."

"Explain," Tevos pushed.

"She was too emotional and unreasonable," Tatiaria continued. "This was clearly evident when requesting the transfer of funds."

Tevos thought of the amount of money requested and sighed heavily. _Binary Helix?_ She thought to herself. _What kind of projects are you heading there?_ "I will have Mallene Calis of the Armali Council come to the Citadel for a briefing. She is quite skilled at investigations and I have no doubt that once on Noveria, she will be able to acquire the information on Binary Helix's current research. If the Matriarch or that company is not following the genetic mod regulations ... we will know. But it will take time."

"Time," Tatiaria could be heard repeating.

Tevos rubbed her temples, "My primary concern, however, is her desire for Liara. Why would Benezia want her daughter involved? This makes no sense."

"No, I am in agreement," Tatiaria agreed. "Benezia would not want Liara near Saren."

"Saren," Tevos still could not believe that he was working against the Council ... against his own people. Yes, she knew that he hated the humans ... but betray the Council? "And Benezia was going to send for Liara ... here at the Citadel?"

"Yes," Tatiaria answered. "She was going to have Liara picked up ... and ..."

"And?"

"And ... I stopped her."

Tevos walked over to a floral arrangement by the sitting area, "How?"

"Well," Tatiaria could be heard to hesitate. "I ... am ashamed to ... I lied."

"Lied?" Tevos had just touched a flower and stopped. No one lied to the Matriarch ... and especially not Tatiaria. This admission made Tevos truly understand how lost the Matriarch was from them. "You lied?"

"Yes," Tatiaria answered, her voice choked. "But I had to protect Liara."

Tevos took a deep breath, "And this lie?"

"I said that Liara was leaving the Citadel," Tatiaria said. "That she was spending the last week of the festival in the Aikaterine."

"I cannot let Liara leave the Citadel," Tevos said as she pulled off a pedal. "It would be too dangerous."

"Of course."

"Is that all that you told her?" Tevos began to remove the dead flowers.

"I said that this Commander Shepard was joining her," Tatiaria said.

Tevos stopped, a small smile starting on her face, "Why would Shepard go with Liara to the Aikaterine?"

"Benezia sounded hostile towards the human," Tatiaria spoke slowly. "So I may have implied that Liara had taken delight in her."

Tevos, slowly picked up the flowers that she had pulled and looked at the comm. station, "Implied? Or did you say it with assuredness?"

… silence …

Tevos, despite the smile, sighed again as she picked up a piece of twine and began to tie the flowers together, "Tatiaria?"

"Promise that what we speak is to be just between us," Tatiaria said.

Tevos walked over to the comm., put down the flowers and transferred the call to her ear piece, "Complete confidence."

"Benezia did not say directly that Commander Shepard was … in danger," Tatiaria confided. "But there was something in her voice … her speech … that betrayed her. As with all things in that exchange ... I mean to say that ... there is nothing specific to point to but …"

"Aria," Tevos said using her pet name for Tatiaria and in her lover's voice, "Trust me."

"I do, Ciara," Tatiaria answered. "The Matriarch, if not bound by the belief that Liara had developed an affection for the human, would not have hesitated to kill her."

Tevos could hear the pain in Tatiaria's words and closed her eyes, "And what of the Commander?"

… silence …

Tevos could hear Tatiaria sob, "I know that this is painful ... But if we are to protect Liara, protect us all ... you must tell me everything. Did you also imply that the affection was mutual?"

"Yes," came the response.

The Councilor could not have planned this better ... "I am pleased."

"Then you understand why?" Tatiaria asked. "You understand that I was lying for the sake of everyone involved? That if the Matriarch believes that Liara and the Commander are together …"

"… then her hands are bound," Tevos smiled. "Yes, I understand completely. And with this new information, Liara must go to the Aikaterine then … as will the SpecTRe."

"No, Ciara," Tatiaria argued. "It would be dangerous. What if Benezia tries to take Liara from that place? What if she lies to Liara and leads her to Saren and …"

"That is what I am hoping will happen." Tevos answered. "I will have her watched … and with the SpecTRe there … it might be too tempting for the Matriarch to stay away."

"But the risk?"

"Risk?"

"You know how powerful the Matriarch is," Tatiaria reminded her. "If she comes for Liara … no asari will be able to stop her."

"No," Tevos said. "But you have placed a net of safety ... The Matriarch will not take her from her lover."

"This human," Tatiaria was beginning to understand. "That is why she must go ... to keep Liara from being taken."

"Yes," Tevos answered. "And with both the Matriarch and the SpecTRe there ... together ... we might see Benezia speak with Commander Shepard and finally ... return to us. You have bound her hands, Tatiaria … let us use it to our advantage."

"But Liara won't accept this," Tatiaria said. "She will not put on a façade and act in this manner with the Commander … with this human. And even if she did ... Benezia would quickly see that Liara is not in the least attracted to this human."

Tevos' smile widened, remembering how Liara had spent days recording _UttVoc_ over and over just to send an acceptable rendition to the Commander, "Let me handle that, Tatiaria. I think that Liara will do as we wish if it means saving the Matriarch." _And the Commander_, she thought.

"But Benezia will see through the lie," Tatiaria argued.

"Lie?" Tevos could see that the young asari was attracted to the Commander. No, Benezia would see that Liara was indeed attracted to the human ... "Let us hope that she can make Benezia believe that she is pleased with her." Tevos said referring to Shepard and not Liara, as Tatiaria thought.

* * *

><p>Once they had entered the lobby, Shepard located the office of Mr. Akutagawa on the board and frowned. His office was on the 47th floor, just three floors below the top. "Great," she looked at Diouf, "We have a long climb ahead of us."<p>

"Merde!" Diouf exclaimed.

Shepard fought from laughing at her Lieutenant's quick emotional outburst, "I'll take the lead … Diouf!"

"Yes, ma'am," he responded.

"You and your team follow … but sweep each floor as you go," she instructed. "If Saren is predictable then he might have left some surprises for us."

"Shit," Ashley checked her rifle, "Bombs."

"Hmm," Shepard nodded. "Ash … Garrus … Mancini … you three come with me."

"And me," Wrex said.

"No," Shepard walked closer to him. "Stay with Diouf and his team. With them sweeping rooms, they are more likely to run into more geth. Which means more fighting for you … I'm trying to make you happy and enjoy this office visit."

"Shepard," he protested in his usual one word way.

"Wrex," Shepard debated back as she scrunched up her nose. This made him growl and turn away.

"I'll never get used to how they communicate," Garrus said to Diouf and Ashley, as they nodded their heads in agreement.

* * *

><p>As Liara entered the Cruor League Lounge the game had already started between the Serrice Delphinus and the Barcelona Peregrine Falcons. "If you can call this a game," Professor Eunike said as the humans struggled to even make a point ... which they still hadn't and probably wouldn't during the whole match.<p>

"At least they are trying," Professor Kalidas answered as she kissed Liara on the cheek, "we were worried that you were not going to make it, doctor."

Liara had started attending the skyball matches at the Lounge, which reminded her of the Skybase on Illium … and of Zazzy. As she watched the games on the screens, drank elasa and chatted with the other Dilinaga University professors it took her mind, at least temporarily, off the Commander. "I'm sorry, I'm late. A student asked me to help her in the lab."

"One can never say no to that type of request," Kalidas smiled. As Liara sat down at the table with the four other professors, she ordered a glass of elasa and an appetizer. As she took off her jacket and placed it on the back of her seat, Kalidas gave her a nudge, "That human … Lorna is back."

Liara looked over at the bar and the young redheaded girl smiled and then whispered to an asari next to her. "Hmm," Liara frowned and looked at the screen. "I am not interested in humans."

"I use to be that way," Eunike said. "But you should try one at least once … a little rough, melding a little disappointing but … they can kiss."

"Melding," Professor Nyssa leaned in, "I will never do that with a human … ever again. I once had one that could control the meld."

"What?" the table stopped, a glass knocked over and a spoon dropped.

"It was just a few minutes …" she quickly added to ease the tension. "But his mind was strong … and once I had control back …" the asari closed her eyes.

"The Matriarch told me that they could not control the meld," Liara said. "That we ..."

"I have never heard of any species controlling the meld," Eunike said as she uncharacteristically cut Liara off. "The very idea is just … disgusting. Humans having power over us … and in the meld!"

"It is horrifying to even think ..." Kalidas started, eyes wide at the thought of losing control in a meld to a non-asari. "Who was this human so that I may avoid him?"

"His name was Jack," Nyssa said. "I met him through Matriarch Trellani ... and I never saw him again."

"Please," Eunike grabbed her drink, "let's not talk of this ... not here with others around us."

"Agreed," Kalidas said, looking at the human approaching their table. "We can discuss this in a more private place ... but for now ... Liara."

As Liara looked away from Nyssa and at Kalidas, a voice came from behind her, "Excuse me, Professor."

Liara turned in her seat to see the human smiling down at her, "Yes ... uh ..."

"Lorna," she smiled as the table quieted down. "Would you have a drink with me, Professor?"

"What?" Liara looked back at the table and then returned to face the human, "A drink?"

Lorna smiled, "Yes. I heard that you were single and ..."

"No," Liara quickly responded. "I ... I am sorry but ... I do not ... I ... I only come here for the games."

"So do I," Lorna tried to joke.

Liara did not understand the joke but when a few of her colleagues laughed she felt angry. "I do not have either the time or the inclination to spend with you."

"Oh," the human looked deflated as she apologized and then returned to the bar.

"That human is crushing on you," Kalidas laughed as the human downed her drink.

"Crushing?" Liara suppressed a smile on hearing the word as she remembered Shepard's tease ... _You better watch out for students crushing on you._

"It's a human term," Kalidas continued to laugh. "Why are the humans' words for desire and love sometimes violent and …"

"Over-dramatic?" Professor Thetis broke her silence. "I once had a human tell me that he would die without me … die?"

Liara's thoughts moved to Shepard as the others began to laugh about the way humans expressed their devotion and love. As she looked over at the human who she had just rejected she wished that the Commander had _crushed _on her. Although she could never see Shepard saying that she _would die without her_ ... The very thought of the Commander proclaiming her desire made Liara breath just a little faster ... but an absurd declaration such as _dying without her_ did not seem Shepard's style or how she talked. As Liara's drink was placed on the table, she picked it up and gave a silent prayer that Shepard was okay and not _dying _for anyone or anything.

* * *

><p>Shepard and Garrus were moving ahead with Ashley and Mancini bringing up the rear while Diouf and his team were a few floors below. "Only two more floors to go," Garrus said between his heavy breathing as he pointed at the large 45 on the wall.<p>

"Thank the …" Shepard stopped as she and Garrus rounded the corner to the next flight of stairs … and there, halfway down, stood a krogan.

"Shepard," he swallowed, as the krogan took a step down. "Back up ..."

"Shepard?" The krogan flicked his tongue and almost seemed to smile at her name … "Shepard."

Garrus realized his mistake of calling out her name and as the krogan began racing down towards them, he tried to protect her. He tried, but a turian against a krogan in close quarters was no match. They were just too close and the krogan threw him into the wall, knocking him out, as it moved on and tried ramming Shepard into the door at the 45th landing area. Shepard dropped and tried to roll out of the way, but the krogan just as quick grabbed her right leg in his mouth and picked her up.

The krogan then began to jerk her around like a rag doll as she struggled to hang on to his backside. As she beat against him in vain … she heard and felt the krogan trying to break through her armor … _Is he trying to rip my leg off?_ Panic rose in her throat as she tried to keep her focus. _Don't panic!_ she told herself as her upper body was snapping back and forth ... as the krogan continued to re-snap its jaw down on her thigh and leg area. She knew that she was now fighting for her leg ... for her life. Her rifle had been lost in the initial contact and now as she pulled out her pistol, her head slammed against the wall, knocking her out as her gun flew out of her hand and down the stairs too.

Ashley shot once at the krogan and it ricocheted off its barrier and grazed Shepard's cheek. "Dear God, no!" Ashley choked out as she stopped Mancini from making the same mistake. "Stop! You can kill the Commander. Go get Diouf!"

"Diouf?" he looked at her with eyes wide, "I'm getting Wrex!"

Shepard had regained consciousness when the bullet grazed her cheek and just as her armor below her waist began to fall apart. The armor giving way to the brute force of the krogan's teeth bearing down on it. As the teeth dug down yet again ... the armor finally caved and teeth finally met meat and then bone. Shepard heard a loud scream. She had never heard a scream as loud or as long … and just when she was about to scream _shut up_ she realized it was her screams. That she was the person making that gawd awful sound. Wrex, hearing her voice, pushed aside a desk in front of him and almost ran over Mancini who had just made it to him … He heard the pup scream and all of his senses came alive as his rage grew and pushed him towards her cries of pain.

It was just a matter of minutes before Wrex made it to her and the krogan seeing him arrive, began to move up the stairs, still holding on to Shepard and working on her leg. She tried grabbing on the stair railings but her grip was no match for the krogan as he moved upwards. She knew that she had to slow down the krogan and finally remembering her knife, pulled it out and began to stab him in his back … but his armor was too thick. She then pushed herself up from the krogan's back and began driving her knife into its left eye. As she continued to push further into it, the krogan never flinched but kept moving. Shepard cursed as she began hacking anywhere she saw skin but anytime she got close to the plates on his head it would shake her back against the wall.

As the krogan reached the 47th floor, Wrex had caught up and forced the krogan against the wall. Shepard, now bleeding from her thigh and hip, blood from the krogan on her hands and upper body, grabbed on to Wrex's gauntlet and unable to speak prayed to God to give her strength. She knew that as the two krogans began to battle if she was not awake … she would be crushed between the two that much easier. As she clung to the side of the krogan, trying to keep at least parallel with her leg … she could not see Wrex start to tear into the backside of the krogan with his mouth. But she knew that the krogan was now in pain. Her leg was still in the enemy's mouth but he was no longer actively chewing down … instead he was pinned against the wall by Wrex and his body shaking. As the armor of the enemy broke apart and Wrex began tearing into skin, Shepard heard Wrex moan and the krogan roar … dropping Shepard to the ground.

Her hair, right side of her face and body was sticky and wet ... a mixture of her blood and sweat and the krogan's blood. As she now laid on the floor, close to the wall, she struggled to move at least a few feet away. As she reached the stairs leading down to the 46th floor, Shepard saw both Ashley and Diouf peek around the corner and it took all her strength to wave them away. The last thing she needed was for her team to get crushed by a krogan falling down … and that bastard was going to be falling down soon! She knew that Wrex would not fail.

She heard slight scuffling, growls and the occasional sounds of whining coming from the enemy. She looked up once and saw Wrex swallowing, his jaw snapping as pieces of the krogan fell to the ground. She saw the lust of the kill in Wrex's eyes and realized that this was the darkness that made his kind so feared. It was the part of Wrex that she should fear, she knew that … but she didn't. She could not fear her Beast … not him. Not the krogan that let a small child crawl all over him. As the struggle continued she closed her eyes, her head swimming and took deep breaths. She knew that he would not be defeated, that the enemy would soon fall under him.

The krogan, his backside torn apart by Wrex, finally did collapse and he landed just a few inches from Shepard. She felt the ground shake as he hit the ground and she raised up just far enough to spit on his lifeless face, "Take that you filthy, son-of-a-bitch!" She then heard Ashley yell her name as she ran up the stairs, followed by a medic. Shepard was afraid to look at her leg … afraid that it was almost torn from her body … and as the medic gave her a shot she looked at Wrex who was now pulling the dead krogan away from her. "Thanks, Beast," she half mumbled as she passed out.

* * *

><p>"Mother?" Tatiaria heard her daughter call out just as she disconnected from her cousin, Aika.<p>

"In here, Sibila," she called out as she walked to the center of the room.

Sibila entered the room and her smile vanished as she saw the look on her mother's face, "Mother? Is everything in place?"

"Yes, all is as it should be," Tatiaria answered, pulling her daughter to her and hugging her. "And how are you? Did you enjoy yourself this evening at the play?"

Sibila hugged her back and then pulled away, "The play was fine … But why are you not confiding in me? I can see that all is not in its place and that you are distressed. Is it Liara?"

"Liara?" Tatiaria felt comfort in the connection that existed between her daughter and niece. It reminded her of the connection between her and ... _Benezia, sister ... please return to us_. "I need you to go to the Crystalis Resort for the next two weeks," she said as she pulled her daughter to the couch. "I have arranged with Aika to have the Lavender Suite reserved for you during that time."

"Wonderful!" Sibila smiled as they sat down. "And here I was worried! I feel foolish now."

Tatiaria smiled, gave a slight kiss to Sibila's left cheek and said, "Not foolish."

"No … not foolish," Sibila smiled back. "Can I take a friend … This will be just in time for the final celebration of the Chaironton Festival!"

Tatiaria looked at her daughter and worried. She was still so young; _can she be expected to take on this responsibility? What if she is too weak ... and in that weakness killed?_ Tatiaria had struggled with her decision but knew that there was no other option. _To leave Liara there alone … no_. "Sibila, this will not be for pleasure and you will take Ipomona."

"Ipa?" Sibila frowned. She had never really enjoyed the company of Delana's second daughter as much as the others. She was just a little bit more serious than the others. Yes, yes, Liara was also serious but … well, she loved Liara. She knew that her cousin was destined for great things … she just knew it. Ipa was just destined to be a kill joy in her life. Liara could be silly and fun when comfortable in her surroundings … Ipa could be sober and disapproving in every setting. "But mother!"

"I need Ipa with you on this trip," Tatiaria quieted her. "She has trained at the Elibio Academy."

"Why does that matter?" Sibila asked. "So has Li-Li ... but I can still beat her in a match."

"I am going to tell you why it matters," Tatiaria held her daughter's hand, "but you must promise that you will confide in no one for the sake of Liara, the family and Thessia. Promise?"

Sibila, hearing the name of Liara, felt the weight of the Kroustar ring and pulled closer, "Of course … I promise."

* * *

><p>Now here she was, propped up on the desk of … she looked at the name on the desk plate … Mr. Zinan Akutagawa, ExoGeni's Chief Operating Officer with her leg stretched out and bare, while her team was about to move on. <em>Shit!<em> She pushed the name plate away from her as she looked over at her armor on the floor. The medic had cleaned her wounds, given her a tetanus shot and was now stitching up the deep cuts in her thigh and hip as she failed to lie still. It didn't help that the painkiller was fading and her discomfort was starting to increase, making Shepard break out in a sweat. To get her mind off of it, she began rummaging through the drawers, amidst the protests of the medic and Ashley to stop moving about ... and smiled when she found an unopened bottle of the Japanese single malt whisky, Yamazaki. She found this brand too bitter for her taste but ... she opened the bottle, thanked _Mr. Akawawamoo_ for his contribution to the war, and raised it to her lips. Raised it ... but stopped. She needed to keep her wits and mixing whiskey and meds ... well, goodbye wits.

"Okay, boxsee," Shepard said as she pushed the bottle away. "My leg is not broken ... or going to need amputation. So let's finish up quickly, put together a brace, hit me with some good juice ... we need to all get back on the front once the team knocks that metal piece of junk off this building!"

Diouf nodded as Ashley grabbed the bottle, frowned at Shepard and placed it in her bag, "You aren't going anywhere, Commander ... Diouf and his team can finish this." The plan had been changed once they had placed the hacking device on the COO's personal computer and nothing happened. The communication to the Normandy was being blocked and it was Garrus that had looked out the window and suggested that the geth ship attached to the building might be the culprit. After a brief discussion with Diouf, it was agreed that Shepard would stay behind with the medic, Ashley and Garrus to wait for the block to be removed and the data transfer to Tali be completed.

Wrex had fought leaving Shepard again and when Garrus said that he would protect her, the krogan all but spit at him, "Like you did last time, turian? Are you going to pass out on them this time?"

"Wrex!" Shepard stopped him as the medic continued to stitch her up. "Please! If that bitch isn't brought down then mechanic Joe can't work her magic. Can we just focus on that?"

Wrex looked at Shepard, grunted and walked away as Garrus apologized yet again, "Sorry, Shepard. I should never had said your name."

"If Shepard dies," Wrex started but was cut off by Shepard who had thrown the nameplate at him.

"Wrex!" Shepard shook her head as the nameplate bounced off his head. "Go take down that metal bitch!"

Wrex stepped on the nameplate as he looked at Garrus, crushing it below his weight and then left the office with Diouf and his team.

"The cost of that nameplate is coming out of your pay, Brutus!" Shepard yelled after him as she winked at Ashley.

"Stay still," Ashley reminded Shepard.

"Shepard," Garrus stepped closer to her after looking at the nameplate once more.

"It's okay," she half-smiled, seeing that he was really upset at his slip. "Honest mistake ... How could you know that I was on his dance card?"

"Aren't you on everyone's?" Ashley asked as she continued to help the medic. "You are the belle of the ball, Shepard."

"It would seem," Shepard couldn't help but laugh yet again, despite the pain. "Maybe you could dance with them for a while, Chief. I'd like to sit the next couple songs out."

"Aye,aye, ma'am," Ashley laughed up at Shepard and nodded. "But only the handsome ones."

"Great," Shepard frowned in jest.

"What about me?" Garrus asked.

"You want the ugly ones?" Shepard teased.

"No, you make out the ID badges," Ashley joked as Shepard gave a small moan as the medic continued to sew her up.


	50. Storm on a Hill

Doctor Chakwas pulled the sheet over the face of the dead child as the lightening tore across the sky followed two seconds later by a clap of thunder. The storm had hit the settlement just a half hour earlier and already the surrounding area of the camp was starting to flood. Despite the amazing lightening storm that nature was putting on for the Alliance personnel … no one was paying attention. The camp was almost silent as the soldiers moved around the dead bodies while others made sure that the surviving colonists were safe and secure.

Along with the storm came the change in the colonists. One minute they were working with the Alliance and then the next they were attacking them. Two of the Alliance soldiers were killed and four were wounded before the team could get their gas masks on and drop the canisters of K-15. As the gas began to overtake the colonists, Kaidan and two soldiers returned to the base after restoring water and finding a colonist rambling nonsense in one of the tunnels. Fai Dan had shot at him just before the gas overtook him and Kaidan moved farther into the settlement where he saw one of the soldiers on top of the building that housed the children. The soldier tossed down a canister through the roof vent as Kaidan screamed, "No!"

Kaidan ordered the two soldiers with him to follow him to the building where he threw open the door and began carrying out the children and the nurse. "Damn it!" he cried out as he picked up one infant and saw that the baby was dead … he quickly checked the other infant and found it barely breathing. Out of the seventeen in the building, two were dead and six fighting to survive. "Get Dr. Chakwas and her staff out here! Now!" he hollered to the soldier who had dropped the canister ... and as the private ran to the Normandy, Kaidan held the last surviving baby who was struggling to breathe. "Come on," he said to the little boy, "Stay with me."

Before Chakwas and her team made it to the makeshift hospital, Kaidan had held the infant as he died … "Please God no," Kaidan had prayed, performing CPR on him. Chakwas and her team stepped in, with Kaidan initially refusing to give up, and took the lifeless body from him. Torn up with guilt, Kaidan walked towards the corn field, ignoring his soldiers along the way. He looked over the destroyed field and saw a hill and slowly walked to it. Once there he walked up it, sat down facing the settlement and looked down at his hands. _What is Shepard going to think? _He asked himself as he felt the strain of grief start to take over.

Chakwas called Corporal Grieco over and asked him to update the Lieutenant sitting on the hill … "Approach carefully, Marcus … the Lt. had a hard day."

Kaidan was glad that it was raining … glad that it disguised the tears that were beginning to fall down his cheeks as he remembered the little boy struggling in his arms. Struggling until he had taken his last breath … his small chest shaking, the small voice trying to cry but too weak to make a noise and then silent. "Oh, God … I should have …" Words failed him and as the tears continued to fall down his face, he heard footsteps in front of him. Wiping his eyes, he stood and saw the Corporal, carrying a rain coat.

"Dr. Chakwas said to give this to you," Grieco said as he held out the coat.

"Thanks," Kaidan took the coat and put it on. "Is the Commander back yet?"

"No, sir," Grieco said as Kaidan sat back down, "Maybe another hour ... It shouldn't take as long returning. According to Joker, with the geth ship downed off the building it seemed to drive the others away. Skyway isn't as heavy with them."

"That's good," Kaidan rubbed his eyes. "And the casualty list so far?"

"Oh," Grieco wiped the rain off his face, "There are six civilians and three soldiers' dead now … But Dr. Chakwas says that there will be more before the day is through. She is doing her best but … "

"How many more?" he asked with red eyes and dirt smeared on his face.

Grieco moved closer, "From what I seen in that tent … I'd say at least three. But the doc didn't say."

"All civilians?" His eyes appeared hollow.

"Yeh," Grieco looked down at his feet. "Pvt. Amina Waaberi died right before I left … the other three soldiers are out of the woods. It's just the … children and a couple seniors that are iffy."

"It's my fault," Kaidan said as he looked down at the ground again. "The children dying … that was … "

"No, sir," Grieco responded. "The doc said that the colonists were malnourished. Had they been healthy they would have survived … and … that … the K-15 saved lives. If we had only our weapons … there would have been more dead … on both sides."

Kaidan looked over at the next batch of storm clouds moving towards them, "The storm is not done with us."

Grieco looked over at the clouds, "No, sir."

Kaidan looked up at Grieco, "The Commander is going to …"

"Know that you did all that you could," he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Sir, no one could have foreseen them turning against us."

"The Commander did," Kaidan said, looking at his own shaking hands. "That's why she had me take the canisters."

"The Commander knew?" Grieco asked, mouth open. "But … but how?"

"How does she do anything she does and survive?" Kaidan asked, struggling to keep control. "I don't know, Marcus … She knew ... I don't know how … but she knew."

* * *

><p>There was no one in the home of the Councilor's when Liara returned from watching the game at Cruor League Lounge and she gave a small frown. She had hoped that Ciara Tevos would be home from her charity dinner in the Kithoi Ward so that she could ask if there was any new update about the Matriarch. She never asked about the Commander because she did not want anyone to know that she felt anything for her ... or at least in the intimate way. She had at struggled with asking the Councilor if she could contact the human after she had made the recording … but … <em>acquaintances do that for each other …<em> Liara had told herself in order to approach the Councilor with her request.

But with no one home, Liara took a shower and then went into the Councilor's private alneu to relax in the Thessian pool. As she dropped a handful of vapim stones into the water and enjoyed the scent they released ... Tevos arrived home. The Councilor knew that Liara was home, based on her security log and called out "Liara?"

Liara did not hear the Councilor as the voice of Sharblu drowned out the world ... this was what she had needed. She hummed along with the asari soprano as she leaned her head back into the Thessian water.

Tevos walked into the alneu and seeing Liara submerging her head in the water, smiled and went to take a quick shower. Once she was clean she returned naked, greeted Liara as she breathed in the scents of the Thessian flowers scattered about the room and before she entered the waters raised her hands up ... "Blessed Athame, hear my tongue and bestow upon this place pleasure, peace and wisdom."

Liara raised her hands and gave the traditional response ... "It is She who protects Thessia and grants us the gift of understanding."

"As it should be," Tevos smiled as she entered the waters. "How was your day?"

"A student struggled in labs," Liara answered, adding more stones to the water.

"Is the student not able to learn?" Tevos asked.

"No," Liara answered. "She is quite intelligent ... but ... bioengineering is not where her passion lies. Based on our conversation I think she would be better suited to the arts."

"The arts," Tevos said, scooping water over her face. "Make sure that you place that recommendation with her professor."

"I did," Liara smiled. "Oh ... the Serrice Delphinus won the match today. The humans tried but they never made a point. It seems almost cruel to let them play in the Cruor League."

"The poor humans," Tevos dipped her head under the water and then leaned against the side of the pool, "Hopefully in time they will start to understand Skyball … but they are new to it and to biotics. In time they may become a challenge."

"In skyball?" Liara shook her head. "No ... but they do try."

Tevos laughed at Liara's response, "You don't think that the humans may one day beat the Serrice Delphinus?"

"You are trying to upset me," Liara said. "Humans beating the Delphinus ... never."

"The humans have a very interesting saying," Tevos said. "Never say never."

"Hmph," Liara frowned.

"Speaking of humans," Tevos waved her hands slowly in the water, "I hear that a human is attracted to you. A Lorna?"

"Yes," Liara nodded, "But I think after this evening she will find another to desire."

"Hmm," Tevos closed her eyes, "Humans can be quite tenacious, Liara. She may not be quick to move on."

"She does not even know me," Liara answered. "I am sure that she will find someone else."

Tevos raised her head, "You have never told me about the SpecTRe … what is she like?"

"Shepard is determined to stop Saren," Liara answered.

"Determined," she smiled as she looked at the young asari and stood. "Did you share anything about our kind with her?"

Liara shook her head as the Councilor sat closer to her.

"And why not, Liara?"

"Shepard has no interest in our kind," Liara answered.

"No interest … one might even say that she hates our kind," Tevos smiled, laying her head back.

"Hate?" Liara looked at the Councilor. "Shepard does not hate me … she shared her home with me … she loves the music of Akdhat … she has my sketch in her quarters."

Tevos could hear the heartbreak in the young asari's voice and lifted her head, "I did not mean to imply that she hated you … Shepard has come to us with a sense of distrust and even … distaste. But spending time with you seems to have softened her."

"Did she speak of me?" Liara couldn't help but ask.

"Something even better, Liara," Tevos brushed Liara's cheek. "She sent word that if any harm came to you that she would strike back … You have touched her."

Liara thought of Shepard protecting her and frowned, "But she let me leave."

"She knew that it was for the best," Tevos said. "But she cares about you … I think that you two are friends."

"Friends," Liara smiled. "Yes … Shepard said that we were friends. But I still sensed a hesitation."

"The Matriarch," Tevos told her as she stood and exited the pool. "Your Theia spoke with the Matriarch."

"Mother?" Liara sat up, her thoughts of the Commander replaced by the Matriarch. "Did she ask about me?"

"I am afraid so," Tevos answered. "She asked to be reunited with you but Tatiaria rejected her request."

"Rejected?" Liara stood up, angry and not understanding. "What right has she to reject the Matriarch? I want to see my mother!"

"Of course you do," Tevos said as she picked up the white oversized towel and as Liara exited the pool, draped it around her. "But you are no longer a child, Liara … do not behave as one."

"I am not behaving as a child," she responded, still angry but accepting the towel. "She is my mother … I want to see her."

"And by Athame's will … I trust that it will happen, Liara," Tevos smiled, "But would you see her at the risk of other's lives?"

"No," Liara frowned. "I just want her safe and back home … I want to be in her grace again. There is so much I need to tell her, Ciara."

Tevos wrapped her arm around Liara, "We all want to see the Matriarch safe ... But if others were to die at her hand …"

"She could never come home," Liara lowered her head, hugging the towel around her.

"No," Tevos began to towel herself off. "But there may be a way to bring her home safely."

Liara placed a hand on Tevos' arm, "Whatever it is … We must do it."

"It may require you to sacrifice, Liara," Tevos touched her cheek. "Are you willing to do that?"

Liara covered Tevos' hand on her cheek with hers and whispered, "We all must sacrifice for Thessia."

* * *

><p>Shepard stood over the body of Fai Dan, the rain just a drizzle now, and rubbed her bandaged leg. It was semi-exposed with the armor long gone and she saw that she had started to bleed again as the bandage turned red. She stopped looking at her leg and looked back down at Fai Dan who had greeted her and the team as they returned to the camp. He had his weapon drawn and when Wrex stepped between him and Shepard he had struggled to keep control. "Poor soul," she said. "He never stood a chance."<p>

"No," Ashley said as she put a rain coat over Shepard. "Let's go find this plant and rip it out."

"Rip it out," Shepard rubbed her side and then closed her eyes as she lifted her face to the sky and to the light, cold rain. She could see Fai Dan stumbling towards her, weapon in hand … _I tried to fight it, but it gets in your head. You can't imagine the pain. I was supposed to be a leader. These people trusted me. It wants me to stop you … but I … I won't. I won't!_ She lowered her head again, looked at Ashley as she remembered Fai Dan turning the weapon on himself and said, "We owe him that."

"Commander!" Lt. Jessica Freedman called out as she stopped upon seeing the body, "What is he doing here? He should have been with the others."

"The Thorian," Shepard looked at her. "These people are being controlled. We need to secure them in a safe place … hopefully if we can communicate with the thing it might let these poor people go."

"Mind control?" she asked, looking at Fai Dan's body.

"It would seem," Shepard answered, as she looked around and saw canisters scattered around. "You used the K-15's?"

"Yes, ma'am," Freedman answered. "I was about to tell you that the colonists turned on us … we had no choice."

"No choice," Shepard shook her head, looking back down at Fai Dan. "Any casualties?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Freedman looked at Shepard, took a breath and … "Corporal Rahman, Pvt. Waaberi, Pvt. Dubyansky and six civilians. There are at least another half dozen civilians fighting to stay alive."

"What?" Ashley stepped up closer.

Freedman looked at her, "Doctor Chakwas said the children were too weak …"

"Children?" Shepard's face went dark. "What do you mean children?"

"Private Tanaka heard Nurse Zyu scream for help and he dropped a canister down the …," Freedman started to explain but the Commander shut her off as her brows lowered, eyes narrowed and mouth curved down.

"Shepard," Ashley called out as the Commander began heading towards the main part of the camp.

Shepard saw Pvt. Tanaka standing just outside the med tent with the wounded and without uttering a word … limped up to him and with all the strength left in her … backhanded him. As the soldier stumbled backwards, Ashley caught Shepard who had also stumbled due to her injuries and in the process had also torn open the stitches in her leg. "Commander!"

"Get him out of here!" She hissed, grabbing her side. "And find Alenko!"

"Shepard!" Dr. Chakwas stepped in between Shepard and the bleeding soldier.

"Stay out of this doc," Shepard ordered her, and then turned to Diouf, "Get Lt. Alenko here! Now!"

Chakwas grabbed Shepard's arm, "Why don't you go get him yourself? He's out in the corn field."

Shepard pulled away from Chakwas, glared at the soldier who was trying to stop his lip from bleeding and then limped past the dead towards the field.

* * *

><p>"She told mother what?" Liara felt her stomach tighten as Tevos lit the candles in the sitting area.<p>

"That you and the SpecTRe are lovers," Tevos answered, blowing out the match and sitting next to Liara.

Liara groaned, "No! No! No! Shepard will think … oh, what will she think?"

"The SpecTRe will understand," Tevos answered as she began pouring elasa into their glasses. "Tatiaria has through her deception given us a chance to speak with the Matriarch. You should be pleased."

Liara looked at her glass as she pushed against her stomach, "No! Mother will see that it is a lie! And when she does …"

"No, Liara," Tevos said as she looked into her eyes, "The Matriarch will not see through the deception if you and Commander Shepard commit to this."

"To play lovers," Liara shook her head, "Oh, the Commander … Shepard will never agree and even if she did … mother would see that she held no real affection or attraction for me. No. We cannot ask this of her."

Tevos gave a slight smile as she took a drink and listened as the young asari confirmed her suspicion. Liara in not arguing that the Matriarch would see that she was not attracted to the human had told her that she was. Liara did desire the Commander … and this pleased Tevos. "Liara … do you think that the Commander will fail in the art of pretense?"

"Shepard fail?" Liara frowned. "I am afraid if she does … mother may kill her."

Tevos' smile faded at those words. It was true that if the Matriarch sensed the relationship to be false she might strike the human down … but only if Liara's affection was also proven to be false. "Then you must guide Shepard in this matter. To teach her how to be a lover of one of us … to set the expectations and share some of our … qualities. Share who we are in our private moments ... Just enough revelations of who we are to strengthen the lie."

Liara thought of talking about the social interactions and the way they touched, "But I don't know what to really tell her … I have never been with anyone but our kind. What should she know ... and what do humans like?"

"I will help you on what you would need to share with her," Tevos answered. "But you will need to learn her desires from her."

"Her desires?" Liara shook her head. "No, I can't do this ... not with the Commander."

"Liara," Tevos smiled again. "Think of this as a learning experience. The humans are new to our world and you have centuries to live among their kind. It is a blessing that you have this opportunity to share with one … even if just in friendship. Liara, it will be very important that you two open up and share what you require from someone you are in a relationship with."

Liara thought of her past and didn't know what she wanted in a relationship. She liked her freedom, the ability to do as she pleased … how would a human feel about this? _But if the person was Shepard?_ She heard herself ask. _What would I want from her? If she were mine … what would she want?_ "Oh, Goddess! This … this is too much to ask."

Tevos saw Liara struggling and reached out … taking her hand she turned her face to her, "Liara, we cannot fail. This may be our only chance to succeed at bringing the Matriarch back to us … safe. You must make sure that you and Shepard are successful … and then the SpecTRe may be able to speak with her. To bring her safely back."

Liara groaned, "She's going to hate this."

"The Matriarch?" Tevos asked.

"Shepard!" Liara stood up, "She is going to hate me!"

* * *

><p>Shepard's body was sore despite the painkillers, her leg throbbing ... her side stabbing ... her head pounding ... but she pushed on towards Kaidan … she could see him up on a hill, head bowed as the rain started to fall harder again. Her anger was pushing her on and she was ready to rip him apart for the dead children until she made it to him.<p>

Her anger left when he looked up at her and his pain asked her for help. He was her after Elysium … His very soul torn apart and his mind focusing on the ones he lost and not those that were saved. His eyes, red and swollen, revealed to Shepard that this man was in the valley of the lost. She had stopped just a few feet from him and could see that she didn't need to rip him apart … he was ripping himself apart. "Kaidan?"

"Commander," Kaidan croaked … his throat dry.

Shepard looked at his hands, shaking … no, he needed her understanding, not her anger. She looked up at the dark clouds, took a deep breath, thought of Elysium and said to him, "It seems that we have both had a bad day."

Kaidan dropped his head into his hands, his body shaking as he began to sob … the image of the baby boy's chest coming back into his mind. "I'm … I … Shepard …"

Shepard limped up to him, carefully and painfully squatted in front of him and wrapped her arms around him. "Talk to me."

"He … was so … little," his words heard just above the sound of the storm coming back in full force. "His voice … so weak and … I didn't protect him."

She brushed his hair back, kissed him on his left temple and hugged him tighter as he let out a cry. This was the part of being a soldier that was rarely discussed … the pain, loss and despair. Soldiers comforting each other in the dark times … "We can't save them all, Kaidan."

Kaidan held her closer, "I failed … I failed him ... I failed you … I failed everyone."

"Failed?" Shepard pulled away from him, cupping his face in her hands, "Don't say that. You did not fail! Those people are being controlled by some kind of _Little Shop of Horrors_ Audrey II … The fact that any of them are living is because of you."

"No, Shepard," Kaidan answered. "I left them … went to get the water back on. Had I been here …"

"Had I been here," Shepard said, "I would have just killed them."

Kaidan looked into her eyes, remembered how dark they were before she left and wondered if what she was saying was true. "No, you would have saved them all."

"Saved them all?" Shepard shook her head, slowly stood up and put out her hand out to help him up. "Kaidan … I've lost so many people during my years in the Alliance … hell, even before."

"Mindoir?" He said as he stood next to her.

"Yeh," she looked back over at the Zhu's Hope. "We're going to lose people, Kaidan. We just have to do our best to minimize the loss … and when it happens to make it matter. Those children that died … their death is on the plant that we are going to cut down."

Kaidan reached out, turning Shepard to him and kissed her. His arms were strong, his lips hard and she knew that this moment was more about his grief then his desire for her. He was hurting and needed to feel something better ... yes, she knew this type of touching. She could count on one hand the moments of intimacy ... of sex ... that she had enjoyed without it being tied to pain. No, she understand what Kaidan wanted as he held her ... She knew this kind of painful want and for a moment she fell into it. Kissing him back she pushed her tongue into his mouth and he in turn pulled her closer against him … she wanted to cry out in pain as he did, but she moved her mind away from it. Instead, she allowed him to press against her and his body told her that he wanted her ... needed her ... and it broke her heart.

"Wait," Kaidan pulled away. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I had no right ... Please, forgive me."

Shepard smiled; glad that she wasn't being held anymore as her body hurt to be touched … she was also glad that he had been the one to pull away. She was too tired to dash this man's desire … to kick this man when he was down ... to hurt Kaidan in his dark moment. But it wasn't just that. A part of her had wanted it, despite the pain. Wanted to feel something more than pain, fear, anger, grief. Yes, sex had always been one of her releases … one of her temporary diversions. But looking at him as lightening lit up the sky, she knew that using Kaidan just for that and then leaving him ... It would be kinder to put a bullet in his head.

Shepard grabbed her side, wishing that the stabbing pain would ease up, and said over the storm, "We should go finish this, Kaidan."

"Shepard," he stopped her. He wanted her, needed her … but he knew that she was with someone else. He had sensed moments of attraction between them ... or at least he had thought there were. But he didn't want her just for his bed. He wanted her heart … he knew that he had fallen in love with her and he wanted her to love him back. As he looked into her eyes, he saw tenderness there but also a touch of pity. That was not what he wanted to see when she looked at him. But it was there.

Lightening lit up the sky again as they looked at each other … words failing both as thunder cracked above them … Shepard finally turned away and began heading back to the settlement … "Let's go do some weeding, Kaidan."

"Yes, ma'am," he answered, walking behind her and hoping that she didn't hate him.


	51. Thorian Trade

"God … smells like compost in here," Ashley could be heard to say as the team turned on their flashlights.

The tunnel was pitch black, the ground and walls slimy and then as the Chief noted ... there was the smell.

"More like rotting compost," Mancini said, the sound of the gardening tools he was carrying clanging and echoing down the tunnel.

"Can't you keep those things quiet?" Ashley asked, holding her shotgun tighter.

"You try carrying two shovels and three axes," he grumbled, yelping as he slipped.

"Shhh," Kaidan said, his light blinding Mancini as he turned to look at him. "Cut the chatter, private."

"Yes, sir," Mancini answered, shuffling his feet to try and not slide. "What was that?"

"If its slimy and moving … shoot it!" Wrex said as he licked the air.

A few feet on and Mancini yelped as he slipped on a … "What the …?"

Ashley shined her flashlight at his feet and there was an oversized worm, "Is that an earthworm?"

"Since we aren't on Earth … a Feros …" Kaidan started but stopped as the creature began to push in different directions, "Commander, is there something … or someone in that thing?"

"Holy shit!" Mancini yelled as he high-stepped it back from the worm, dropping the axes and one shovel. "There is!"

Shepard walked up to it, followed by Ashley, "Let's open her up, Chief."

Ashley saw Shepard pull out her knife as she squatted next to it … "You sure this is a smart thing to do?"she asked as she handed her own flashlight to Kaidan and bent down next to the Commander.

Shepard, knife poised to cut, looked at her, "Smart? No. But aren't you just the slightest bit curious?"

"Haven't either of you seen that old movie Aliens?" Kaidan asked.

"Oh," Ashley shifted back. "Can I be Sigourney Weaver?"

Shepard shook her head as she began cutting through the outer layer, "Something is definitely moving around in here … Kaidan! Can you bring that light just a little closer?"

As Kaidan began to step in, an arm shot out of the worm and caught Shepard by the throat. Shepard cut the hand off, Ashley cursed, Mancini screamed and the creature's head popped out as it lost its hand and threw up on Shepard and Ashley. As the two fell back, the rotting liquid stinging their faces, Kaidan pulled out his canteen to wash the substance off Ashley as Wrex turned Shepard over and in one lick pushed both his saliva and the vomit up her nose … but her face was fairly cleaned.

Garrus grabbed an axe dropped in front of the still screaming Mancini, stepped between the chaos and hacked the creature until it was no longer moving … He then helped pick up Mancini who had fell and hurt himself on one of the shovels. "I didn't realize that humans could scream so high pitched."

Ashley began to throw up and Shepard struggled to get rid of the stench and stinging happening up her nose. As she lowered her head down, snorting out each nostril, Garrus pulled out his bandana and soaked it in water … "Here, Commander."

Shepard took the wet and very western bandana from him as she punched on Wrex, "Do not ever lick me again! Ever!"

Wrex licked more of the vomit that had ended up on his own face and swallowed it … Ashley had looked up just in time to catch this and started retching again.

Kaidan moved closer to the hacked up creature, "What is that thing?"

Shepard, as clean as she was going to get down in that tunnel, handed the bandana back to Garrus and looked at the creature with Kaidan … "It's not human … at least I don't think it is." Shepard looked closer … "Or maybe it is human … or was. It looks as if a body was mixed with soil, leprosy and gas … see how its swollen and bits are deformed or missing?"

"Please shut up," Ashley said as she struggled to calm her stomach.

Kaidan moved the flashlight to the severed hand, knots and pieces missing in the fingers … "I think you're right … It was human, Shepard."

"Human … soured and tainted," Wrex said as he started walking on, "no more standing around."

"Human?" Mancini swallowed hard as he limped forward … his left rear cheek sore from landing on the edge of a shovel when he fell down.

"Well, Wrex … you wondered where the dead were," Shepard said as she started following him. "Now we know ... They are down here."

"There are more of those things?" Mancini began to walk backwards.

"Private," Ashley glared at him, "Suck it up … you are a Marine!"

"Yeh … but …" Mancini's mouth fell as he caught a look at Ashley's face.

"What?" Ashley began to panic, "What is it?"

"It's nothing, Chief," Kaidan pulled her to him. "The private is having a panic attack."

As Ashley shook her head and started following Shepard and Wrex, Mancini grabbed Kaidan by the arm, "She looks like she walked into a hornet's nest!"

"It must be the vomit," Kaidan whispered to him, "But we'll have to worry about that later … right now we have to find this plant. Pick up the tools and let's get moving."

"Tools," Mancini nodded. "Right."

The team began to see light at the end of the tunnel and as they drew closer they could hear the sound of rain, "An opening to the sky?"

Shepard looked at Ashley, "It would … damn! What happened to your face?"

"Me?" Ashley's eyes grew wide. "What happened to yours?"

"Great!" Shepard reached up, feeling her face swollen and with bumps.

"I guess if that thing needs to be seduced," Garrus said, "I'll have to do it."

"You?" Kaidan laughed. "Why not me?"

"Really?" Ashley pushed Kaidan. "What if this is permanent?"

"Hey it could be worse," Shepard said. "We could look like Wrex."

Wrex growled as they reached the opening to the open chamber, "Humans."

Shepard and Ashley looked at each other's faces in the light that was spilling out of the chamber, shaking their heads at the effects that the vomit had on them … and then Ashley turned towards the center of the chamber … "Okay … we just have to find this thing and put a couple of rounds … in … to … what the hell is that?"

Kaidan stepped between Ashley and Shepard, "We are gonna need bigger guns."

"Have you ever seen anything like that before, Commander?" Garrus asked, raising his rifle.

"No," Shepard answered, as she moved closer to it. "My mother never grew this kind of plant in her garden."

"Not into exotic … fruit?" Ashley joked despite her fear.

"No," Shepard couldn't help but laugh. "Excuse me mister … or miss … uh, plant … Thorian? I need to talk to you."

The Thorian made a deep guttural sound as it began to pulsate … "What is it doing?" Garrus whispered.

"I don't know," Shepard answered. "But be ready for anything."

Liquid began pouring out of its opening as its tendrils moved about … "I don't like this," Kaidan said as he moved closer to Shepard. "Get behind me, Shepard … with your leg …"

"Okay, Prince Charming," Ashley said, "I think Snow White is tough enough to … to …"

The team saw legs start to appear out of the opening and within seconds a naked asari was standing before them … "Invaders! Your every step is a transgression! A thousand feelers appraise you as meat. Good only to dig or decompose."

"I'm Commander Shepard," Shepard said, holding her hand out to tell her team to stand down, "I need to speak to the Thorian."

The asari looked at each member of the team and then turned her attention to Shepard, "I speak for the old growth, as I did for Saren ... You are within and before the Thorian. It commands that you be in awe."

"I'm in awe," Mancini said, looking at the asari's breasts. "Completely in awe."

"Put your eyes back in your head, private," Ashley ordered. "The Thorian isn't a dating service."

"Well a guy can dream … can't he?" Mancini looked at Garrus. "Can't he?"

"I need to understand what Saren wanted," Shepard told the asari.

"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone," the asari answered. "The old growth listened to flesh for the first time in a long cycle ... Trades were made."

"Trades?" Kaidan looked at Shepard.

"Flesh," the asari responded. "Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle ... Flesh barely given."

"The geth," Shepard looked at Wrex. "The bastard traded the people … this asari … and then sent the geth to kill it."

"But what did Saren get in the trade?" Kaidan asked.

"We are here to help," Shepard said to the asari.

"The old growth sees that air that you push as lies," the asari continued. "It will listen no more."

Shepard stepped closer to the asari, "If you tell me what Saren took … what he left with … I'll hunt him down for you and kill him."

"No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry," the asari said. "Your lives are short, but have gone on too long. Your blood will feed the ground of the new growth."

As the asari reached out to claw Shepard, the Commander reached behind her and pulled out her knife … the asari was no match as Shepard drove the knife into her throat and tore back her head. "That was too easy," Shepard said, looking at the lifeless body.

"No biotics?" Kaidan asked. "Something is wrong here."

"Is that your professional opinion, LT?" Ashley asked.

"It doesn't smell like an asari," Wrex told Shepard.

"Well it was up in that thing," Shepard looked back at him as Ashley poured water over her hands to get the black liquid off of them ... "Although its blood isn't really ... blood." Shepard then walked even closer to the Thorian.

"Commander," Kaidan called out. "Careful."

"What could this creature have had that Saren wanted so bad?" Shepard said more to herself. "What did you give him?"

"What do we do now?" Garrus asked.

"We need to kill this thing," Wrex answered.

"You couldn't tell me?" Shepard wanted to strangle the creature … she wanted to beat it until it told her what she wanted … no, what she needed to know. Saren took something … she needed to know what. "I might have let you live … but now?"

"Shepard," Wrex called out.

"Your silence is your death," Shepard told it. "I will cut you down and see you burn! Do you hear me?"

"Shepard!" Wrex called again.

Shepard looked over at him and he motioned towards a room to their right, "What is it?"

"Oh, God," Ashley said as she approached the room.

Shepard looked at the Thorian again and then walked over to the area that seemed to be upsetting the group. Looking inside, Shepard saw rotting corpses, more worms with movement in them and what appeared to be part of the Thorian attached the wall. "Mancini, bring the axes."

"What about those things?" Ashley asked, touching her swollen face as she looked at the worms.

Shepard took an axe from Mancini as did Wrex and Kaidan … and as she passed by one of the worms said, "If they start to burst open when we start to cut … you three be ready to cut them down."

"No problem," Garrus said, lifting his rifle, as Ashley pulled up her shotgun and Mancini a shovel.

"Really?" Ashley looked at Mancini and his weapon of choice.

"What?" he frowned.

* * *

><p>Ethan Jeong and his group finally made it to Zhu's Hope as Dr. Chakwas sat down … tired and cold ... coffee in hand. The rain was back to sprinkling and the two more deaths had taken the wind out of Chakwas' sails. The past few hours had seen too many people … too many children die. As she took a sip of her coffee, she heard a commotion at the far end of the street and wearily stood up, "What is it Diouf?"<p>

"More survivors!" he hollered back as the refugees slowly walked into camp. "They said that the Commander saved them up past the skyway and told them to head here."

"Where are the colonists?" one of the refugees asked.

"Who are you?" Dr. Chakwas asked, putting her coffee down.

"I'm sorry," the older woman apologized. "My name is Juliana Baynham, there is a plant here that is controlling the colonists."

"Yes, we know," Chakwas said. "The colonists are safe and secure but will be kept under gaurd until the Commander is back."

"Where is she?" Juliana asked.

"Locating the plant," Diouf answered. "Locating it and killing it."

"Do you have water?" Juliana asked, "We are thirsty, hungry and tired."

"Of course," Chakwas answered. "We have food here as well … please. Henry!"

Chief Lawry walked out of his tented area and waved the refugees over, "We have scrambled eggs, rice, beans and toast … and water!"

Juliana watched as the others headed toward the old man but she looked over at the many bodies covered up, "How many?"

"Too many," Chakwas answered. "But we are doing all we can to save the others."

"This is ExoGeni's fault," she said, tears welling up in her eyes, as she walked over to the bodies. "Oh ... Not the children!"

Chakwas could not allow herself to get emotional … not yet. There was too much work left to be done. So she told the woman to go eat as she returned to her tent … and her patients. _No more deaths_, she swore under her breath as she looked at a child no more than a decade old. _The rest of you will live … you must!_

* * *

><p>"No, no, no," Joker shook his head, "Breasts over legs any day!"<p>

"Breasts?" Lt. Aldrin shook his head, "Not me … I like long legs on my women. The longer the better."

"Legs," Joker tilted his hat over his eyes. "I have legs ... give me big …"

"Joker," Helen Lowe interrupted, "I hate to break into this deep conversation but we have a transmission coming in from the Citadel. TPC."

Joker sat up, raised his cap and flipped open the comm. to CIC, "Uh, Pressly … We've got a transmission coming in from the Citadel. Top priority clearance."

"Citadel?" Pressly lowered the screen he was studying, "Is it the ambassador?"

"It's not his signature," Joker responded. "It's from the Council."

"The Council?" Pressly did not want to talk with them. He looked around the CIC and knew that he had no choice … he was the commanding officer with Shepard off the Normandy. "Damn it," he took a deep breath, called Engineer Adams to report to the Comm. room and slowly headed there himself. "

Pressly had only a few minutes to wait before Adams appeared, "Joker said that you needed me."

"I have to talk with the alien Council," Pressly told him.

"You can't wait for the Commander?" Adams asked.

"Well, I figure we just need to tell the Council that she is busy and …"

"We'll take a message?" Adams smiled.

"You have a better idea?" Pressly asked.

"No," Adams shook his head. "Let's take a message."

"Do you want to talk with them?" Pressly rubbed the back of his neck.

"I would love to," Adams grinned. "But I am not the executive officer."

Pressly frowned at Adams, "Thanks!"

"Look after you take this call … I'll pour you my latest batch of Adams stock," Adams said.

"The batch that the crew is calling _Sweet & Sneaky_?" Pressly asked.

"The very same," Adams said, taking a seat out of view.

"Well then," Pressly walked to the podium. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

><p>Shepard looked over the railing as the Thorian fell down into the bottom of the chamber, "We need to get some petrol and set it on fire."<p>

"This whole place needs to be burned," Kaidan said, looking at the empty pods, dead bodies and roots of the creature.

"Agreed," Mancini said, his face red-marked and swollen.

Shepard looked at her team and all of them were marked by the vomit of those disgusting walking dead now after fighting them for the past forty minutes. Everyone except for Wrex and Kaidan. "Sometimes I really wish I were a biotic," Shepard laughed. "They never touched you!"

Kaidan gave an embarrassed smile, "Sorry?"

Shepard laughed harder and then went silent as a type of sac on the wall began to move … "Wrex!"

The krogan moved towards it as Shepard pulled out her knife and began to cut into it.

"Really?" Ashley shook her head. "Do you never learn?"

"I … just … can't … help … myself," Shepard said as she carefully cut around the figure inside.

As the sac was slit open … an asari fell out and the team moved back as she stood up and said, "I'm free! I … I suppose I should thank you for releasing me."

It looked just like the asari that Shepard had killed at the start, "I'm Commander Shepard … Who are you?"

"My name is Shiala," the asari answered, looking at Shepard.

"How many more of you are there?" Mancini asked, looking at her breasts.

Ashley slapped him and pushed him away, "Go somewhere and cool down, private."

"Ouch!" he cried out. "Fine! I'm going … I'm going."

"I'm sorry," Shepard said to Shiala, as she took Kaidan's shirt and put it around her. "Breasts tend to throw human males off … that and seeing a person more than once. A person that you already killed."

"Oh," Shiala put the shirt on and began to button it, "There is only me. If there was another me then ... it must have been some type of clone … nothing more."

"Well that explains it," Mancini said, popping his head back into the room with a big grin.

"I swear …" Ashley began, making Mancini frown and duck back out.

"How did you end up here?" Shepard asked.

Shiala looked at Shepard, "I serve … I served Matriarch Benezia."

"Benezia?" Kaidan looked over at Shepard.

The sound of the Matriarch's name being said by Kaidan caused Shiala to flinch, "Yes … I served the Matriarch."

Shepard caught the slight ice in the asari and looked at Kaidan shaking her head, "I think it is impolite to call her by her first name."

"Li …" Kaidan was about to mention how Liara had never corrected him but maybe Shepard was right. He thought back to his and Liara's conversations and wondered if he had offended her. "I apologize if I offended you."

Shiala looked at Shepard, "You know asari custom?"

"No," Shepard answered. "I just sensed that it displeased you to hear her name spoken in a familiar way … am I wrong?"

"You hear what is not said," Shiala moved closer to Shepard.

Shepard heard the rain getting heavier as it fell down in the chamber and turned to look up at the sky, "This storm will never be done."

"What do we do with her?" Garrus asked.

Shepard turned back to Shiala, "How did you end up here? In this thing?"

"When the Matriarch allied herself with Saren … so did I," Shiala answered. "The Matriarch foresaw the influence that Saren would have …"

"So she wanted to share in the power?" Kaidan asked.

"No," Shiala quickly responded. "She joined him to guide him down a gentler path ... to stop him from bringing destruction. But Saren is compelling ... Matriarch Benezia lost her way."

"Lost her way?" Shepard looked at the dead bodies around them "What do you mean? She started to agree with him? His plans?"

"The Matriarch underestimated Saren," she answered. "As I did. We came to believe in his cause and his goals ... The strength of his influence is troubling."

"Typical asari meddling," Wrex told Shepard and then looked at Shiala, "About time it bit you in the ass!"

"Wrex!" Shepard waved him away, "Go torment Mancini."

"So she tried to manipulate Saren," Ashley said. "But her plan backfired."

"I don't get it," Shepard turned back to Shiala. "Aren't the asari matriarchs suppose to be among the most intelligent and powerful beings in the galaxy?"

"The most," Shiala answered.

"I stand corrected … the most," Shepard did not feel like debating, especially since she wasn't sure that the asari was wrong. "So tell me, how could she fall under Saren's control then?"

Shiala turned away from Shepard and began to pace, "Saren has a vessel … an enormous warship unlike any I've ever seen. He calls it Sovereign ... It can dominate the minds of his followers."

"Dominate?" Ashley looked at Shepard. "Like this Thorian thing?"

"Worse," Shiala answered. "They become indoctrinated to Saren's will."

"And none of you saw what was happening?" Shepard asked. "None of you fought it?"

"The process is subtle …," Shiala explained. "It can take days … weeks … but in the end, it is absolute."

"Absolute," Mancini could be heard to say in the other room.

Shepard looked at Ashley and fought laughing as Ashley rolled her eyes, "I can kill him if you want."

"No," Shepard laughed. "I need something to lighten this moment."

"So why were you left here?" Garrus asked. "Were you forced here?"

"Forced?" Shiala shook her head. "No … I was a willing slave when Saren brought me to this world. He needed my …" _no, you must not reveal our ability to take what is needed_ … "my biotics to communicate with the Thorian."

"Biotics?" Shepard looked at Kiadan, not understanding how that allowed her to communicate with the creature. "Did you feel anything, Kaidan, when you entered its lair?"

"No," Kaidan looked at Shiala.

"Hmm," Shepard turned back to Shiala. "Well asari biotics must be different then. What did you use them for?"

Shiala was starting to wonder who this human was, "To learn its secrets ... Saren offered me in trade."

"Trade," Shepard looked at the asari and frowned.

"I was sacrificed to secure an alliance between Saren and the Thorian," she finished.

"Saren seems to betray everyone," Garrus spit as he checked his rifle.

"So it seems," Shepard agreed.

"He was quick to betray the Thorian, too," Shiala went on. "After he had what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy all evidence of its existence."

"Why?" Shepard asked.

"Saren knows you are searching for the conduit," she answered. "He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the Thorian so you could not gain the cipher."

"The cipher," Kaidan moved closer to the asari. "What is that?"

Shiala continued to look at Shepard, "The beacon on Eden Prime gave you visions … but the visions are unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. To truly comprehend them you must think like a prothean ... You must understand their culture, their history, their very existence. The Thorian was here … long before the protheans built this city. It watched and studied them. When they died, it consumed them and they became a part of it."

"And this cipher?" Shepard asked. "What is it?"

"The cipher is the very essence of being a prothean," Shiala answered. "It cannot be described or explained … it would be like describing color to a creature without eyes. To understand you must have access to endemic ancestral memory … a viewpoint spanning thousands of prothean generations. I sensed this ancestral memory … the cipher … when I melded with the Thorian. Our identities merged, our minds intertwined. Such knowledge cannot be taught. It simply exists."

"Intertwined," Shepard walked over to the sac that she had cut the asari out of. "So did Saren get sewed up into one of these? Because if that is what it takes …" Shepard shook her head at Ashley, "I think I'm going to have to take a pass on this one."

"No," Shiala answered.

"Then how?" Shepard asked. "I need to understand what the visions mean."

"There is a way," Shiala said. "I can transfer the knowledge from my mind to yours … as I did with Saren."

"How?" Shepard asked, backing up.

"Through our minds," she answered.

"I don't like the way that sounds," Ashley said.

"You?" Shepard looked at Ashley. "The being sewed up in that sac just started to sound good."

"I can assure you," Shiala said, "I will not hurt you."

"Said the guy to his girl on their first night," Ashley said under her breath.

"Thanks, Chief," Shepard said, as she walked over to the railing. _Through our minds?_ Shepard thought … "Is this the only way?"

"Yes," Shiala answered, seeing the human's concern. "If there were any other way …"

"But as luck would have it," Shepard frowned.

Shiala waited for Shepard to turn around and then told her to … "Try to relax, Commander."

"Relax," came Mancini in the other room.

"Slow, deep breaths," Shiala continued after Ashley went in the other room. "Let go of your physical shell … reach out to grasp the threads that bind us … one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy … every idea must touch another mind to live … each emotion must mark another's spirit … we are all connected." Ashley returned and stood next to Shepard. "Every living being united in a single glorious existence ... Open yourself to the universe, Commander … Embrace eternity!"

As Ashley caught her breath at seeing the asari's eyes turn a solid black, Shepard felt a knife slice in her brain. Her body went rigid and her mind screamed for the intruder to leave. With each heart beat the pain grew worse and she begged for the parasite to die … _parasite_. That is how she felt as the asari entered and moved about her mind.

Shiala knew that the human would instinctually try and push her out but she had not been prepared for how strong this human was. As she pushed in further, the human began to close off from her … as if walking down a hall and all the doors slammed shut. She had hoped to cull her mind while there … to see who this human really was but she did not have the strength while she was giving the cipher to also fight through her mind. She had debated staying in her mind longer, to try and at least get past one layer … but after she saw a glimpse of the human's past … she stopped. It was a brief moment but the human was naked, smeared in mud and blood and stabbing a batarian over and over. The look in the human's eyes was death and destruction … and it scared Shiala. No … better to give her the cipher and release her.

As Shiala left Shepard's mind, the Commander dropped to the ground.

Shiala looked at the woman and moved away, "I have given you the cipher … just as it was given to Saren. The ancestral memories of the protheans are part of you now."

While the humans, Ashley and Kaidan, looked worried and went to Shepard, Wrex knew what had happened and said to Shiala, "See anything in there you liked?"

Shepard's nose began to bleed and she began to vomit as Ashley turned her shotgun on Shiala, "What did you do to her?"

Wrex stood between them as Shiala said to Shepard, "I am sorry if you have suffered … but there was no other way. You needed the cipher. In time it will help you understand the vision of the beacon. "

Ashley looked down at Shepard, "You look ill … we should get you back to the ship."

Shepard passed out and as Kaidan picked her up, Ashley instructed Mancini to take Shiala into custody, "If the Commander dies … so do you."


	52. Weekend at Bernie's

"But what if she doesn't wake up?" Lt. Neil Aldrin asked.

Pressly looked around the table and wished he knew the answer. It had been three days and the Commander was still unconscious … alive but … how long could they keep this from the Council and the Alliance? "The Commander will wake up," he answered. "I have no doubt about that."

"And in the meantime," Diouf said, "We have to continue to keep this information within this room."

"Wrex knows," Chakwas said, blowing on her tea.

"How did …" Aldrin started.

"You try and keep a krogan from a room," Chakwas cut him off. "He checks in on her everyday … sometimes twice. Doesn't say a word ... just barrels in ... looks at her and leaves. Odd and a little frightening when you aren't expecting him."

"I didn't realize that he was stepping on the Normandy," Diouf lit a cigarette. "I thought he was staying just outside Zhu's Hope."

"I think he likes the open space," Kaidan waved the smoke away from his area.

"Do you think that we could leave this god-forsaken place while he is out there?" Théron asked.

Kaidan poured himself a glass of water, "We don't leave here until Shepard is awake."

"But why?" Théron asked, sounding frustrated.

"What … don't you like the way the colonists are treating us?" Diouf asked. "They are treating us like conquering heroes."

"I hear that you and that Dr. Lizbeth Baynham are oogling," Théron said, pouring him a cup of coffee.

"And?" Diouf smiled. "Jealous?"

"They keep asking to see Shepard?" Kaidan frowned. "Not telling them makes it look like she's ignoring them."

"But we can't," Pressly reminded him. "If the Alliance were to find out that the Commander was not in command …"

"They might order us back to the Arc," Adams finished. "I may not know a lot … but if the Commander were to wake up back on the Arc …" he shook his head. "We would all be cooked."

"There is also the asari down below in the brig," Kaidan reminded everyone.

Diouf and Garrus had wanted to force her to talk but Pressly would not allow that. _Her fate would be left up to Shepard and no one else_, he had told them. The two had argued that Shepard was out because of her and that she had done something horrible while in her head. But Pressly was firm … No one was to talk, touch or harm her in any way until the Commander was awake and back in command. His decision surprised Diouf who knew that Pressly did not trust aliens … but it would have surprised Shepard had he said yes. She knew that not liking aliens did not equal cruelty and Pressly was a decent and honorable man. The kind of man she both respected and loved.

"And then there is the request from the asari Councilor," Pressly looked at Chakwas.

"Another reason why we cannot leave, gentleman," Chakwas looked around the table. "There is a shuttle scheduled to arrive in two days time to pick up the Commander."

"What?" Kaidan said, everyone but Chakwas and Pressly surprised by the news.

"The Councilor needs Shepard's assistance on Quana," Chakwas explained. "She assured Pressly and I that it was not dangerous and would be more a vacation then a mission."

"When was this?" Diouf asked.

"The Councilor contacted us while she was fighting the cursed plant thing," Pressly answered, "After the Commander was still unconscious a day later … I …"

"We," Chakwas interjected, putting down her cup of tea. "We, Pressly … remember that if Shepard decides this idea is terrible."

"We," he smiled sadly at her. "We decided to contact the Councilor and tell her that the Commander was off-site for the next few days but would contact her when she was back. She explained that she needed the Commander to go to Quana in five days time and a shuttle was already on its way."

"Merde!" Diouf looked at Adams, "Do you have any of that Sweet & Sneaky on you?"

"I can have a jug sent up," Adams frowned, "If the commanding officer approves."

Pressly felt all eyes on him, "Well … I …" he looked at Chakwas who smiled and gave a nod, "Hell, why not. We are all going to be court-martialed or killed by the Commander. Send two jugs up!"

"Right!" Adams nodded as he got up and exited the conference room.

"I'll have a dinner tray sent up as well," Théron shook his head as he stood. "We might as well have our last supper as well … Shepard is definitely going to kill us when she finds out we are filling her dance card."

As Adams and Théron exited, Diouf followed to visit the men's room as Kaidan rubbed his temples.

* * *

><p>The film <em>Confederates<em> had just finished playing on the screen which was the cue for the flight attendants to start serving the meals to the passengers. Liara yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand as she did … "You need to get some rest, Dr. T'Soni," Moran, sitting across from her, said, "We have another fifty-three hours before we stop on Feros ... You don't want the Commander to greet a tired looking lover."

Liara's stomach dropped as she thought of Shepard waiting there for her. She was still surprised that the Commander had agreed to this plan and as the attendant asked her choice of meal and drink she responded, "Do you have spaghetti and … Jameson whiskey?"

"Oh," the attendant shook her head, "I'm afraid not … we only serve Thessian meals and spoggeti is … human?"

Liara frowned, "Yes ... Then I'll have manitaro with cilrag, thank you."

The attendant smiled as she noted Liara's order, "I am pleased to say that we do have a bottle of that whiskey … but I see that it was ordered by the Councilor for Commander Shepard. Do you want me to pour you a glass?"

Shepard's name being said again and by the attendant made it all the more real to Liara and she shook her head, "No … it would be better to leave it for the Commander."

"Then a glass of Thopevo?" the asari smiled.

"Yes, thank you." Liara smiled and then turned to face her window. In less than fifty-four hours and she would be with the Commander. Liara turned to the empty seat by her ... she will be here. _Please don't be angry with me,_ she thought as the attendant placed her drink on the table in front of her.

* * *

><p>The room was dimly lit, the light over her desk on as well as the one over her door. Nurse Zyu was reading, a cup of coffee next to her chair, and Shepard wondered why she was in her room and why there were scratches on her face and arms. She looked around a little confused … <em>yes, this is my room<em>, she thought as she turned back to Zyu. _Why are you here_?

Zyu heard the bed and a moan … "Commander?"

"Why are you here?" Shepard croaked, flinching at the pain in her body.

"You've been unconscious these last three days," Zyu said, helping Shepard sit up.

"Then why am I not in the med bay?" Shepard was feeling even more confused and it was making her angry.

"Dr. Chakwas said that no one was to know that you were …" Zyu stopped as she checked the Commander's readings.

Shepard slowly looked down to make sure that she had both legs, "Last thing I remember is a krogan trying to have me for lunch."

"Lunch?" Zyu's eyes grew wide.

"Yeah," Shepard smiled and then dropped her head back on the pillow.

"You don't remember coming back to Zhu's Hope?" Zyu asked, adjusting Shepard's pillow.

"No," Shepard closed her eyes.

* * *

><p>The Adams stock shared, dinner served, everyone back in their seats ... Diouf asked, "So what is the plan if Shepard can't get on the shuttle?"<p>

Pressly put his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands, "Pray that doesn't happen."

"I saw a movie once," Chakwas said, taking a drink of Adams Sweet & Sneaky, "It was about a dead man and two boys … A Weekend at Bernie's."

Adams laughed, "I saw that … we could get a dolly …"

"I think I have a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses," Diouf said, causing Adams and Chakwas to laugh harder.

"Can we be serious?" Kaidan said. "Maybe we can tell them that the Commander has opted to have us take her in the Normandy."

As the table became excited over that plan … Chakwas took a drink as Pressly shook his head that was still buried in his hands. "That won't work."

"Why not?" Diouf asked.

"Dr. T'Soni is on that shuttle," Chakwas answered.

"Liara?" Kaidan asked. "Well … we can have her come with us then."

"Shepard has to meet the shuttle," Pressly said, raising his head. "No exceptions … Councilor's instructions."

"But why?" Théron asked.

"Because it would dishonor the doctor if her lover was not there to greet her," Chakwas answered, causing a slight moment of confusion among the officers.

"Lover?" Kaidan stood as Diouf, Adams and Théron said that they were not lovers ... or were they?

"Everyone calm down," Pressly stood, waving everyone to sit. "That's part of the mission."

Kaidan sat down, fists clinched, jaw tight … "Whose idea was this?"

"It will protect Shepard ... I don't know how but that is what the Councilor said," Chakwas answered. "If Shepard is successful on this mission … we will have the Matriarch on our side. But in order for her to get close …"

"The Matriarch needs to believe that her daughter and the Commander are together," Pressly finished.

"Who told the Matriarch this lie?" Kaidan asked, holding his glass of Sweet & Sneaky tight.

"Pressly and I don't have any more details," Chakwas said to him. "I don't think she liked telling us even that."

"I'll get a squad ready," Diouf said, finishing his drink.

"No squad," Pressly said. "None of us are going … Just the Commander."

"No," Kaidan said. "Shepard is not going to go anywhere without backup."

"I agree," Diouf said, stamping out his cigarette.

"At the moment," Adams said, walking around the table and refilling glasses, "Shepard isn't going anywhere … so all these …" he looked at Kaidan and Diouf "emotional outbursts are for nothing. Besides, even if Shepard were here … it's her decision. Hers."

"Well said, Greg," Chakwas smiled, raising her glass.

"Thank you, Karin," Adams smiled.

"If Shepard wakes up …" Diouf started.

"When," Pressly stopped him. "When Shepard wakes up."

"Of course," Diouf gave a slight bow of the head, "When Shepard wakes up even she would not agree to her having no backup. So we just get a team of … vacationers together and monitor from afar. We have a Hawaiian shirt for starters ... What hotel will they be staying at … or are they staying in a residence?"

"The Aikaterine," Chakwas answered.

Théron whistled at the mention of the hotel, "That is one of the most exclusive hotels in the world … uh, galaxy," he said.

"How do you know that?" Diouf asked.

"It has an Edesia rated restaurant in it," Théron answered. "The restaurant was highlighted in my Chef magazine a few months past … that's how."

"It is not an option for us," Chakwas said. "Not only is it expensive … but this month it is exclusive for asari as they celebrate one of their festivals."

"Then why is Shepard being permitted to stay there?" Kaidan asked.

"She is travelling with Dr. T'Soni," Chakwas answered, recognizing the jealousy in the normally calm and level-headed Lieutenant. "As her … companion … she is allowed this honor."

"Are you jealous, Alenko?" Diouf laughed.

"What?" Kaidan shook his head. "No … I just think that allowing Shepard to go anywhere without having backup is too dangerous."

"My mistake," Diouf winked.

"Allow?" Chakwas shook her head, "None of us are controlling the Commander … None of us."

"Unless Shepard wakes up before they arrive ..." Pressly said, "… this conversation is …"

"Pointless," Diouf frowned.

Kaidan was almost glad now that Shepard was unconscious. This plan to have her go anywhere without them was too dangerous and he knew that she would take that risk if it meant getting closer to Saren. And if he were being honest with himself, he would also say that he was jealous … he knew that Shepard was not attracted to the asari and he liked Liara … but Joker had told him that Liara was attracted to the Commander shortly before they arrived at Feros. It had slipped out when Kaidan asked Joker if he liked the asari after he mentioned her blue eyes. "What?" Joker looked at Kaidan. "No ... Besides, Liara is your competition ... biotic boy!" … The thought of the asari touching Shepard, even if the Commander was play acting, bothered him. What if Liara seduced Shepard? But he also worried about Shepard physically … Remembering when they first brought her onboard, her clothes being stripped from her as Chakwas saw the blood down her side from all the torn stitches … he had seen that her body was in no shape to even vacation. No, she was in no shape to go anywhere. He and Ashley had seen the bruises, the cuts, the damage from the krogan's teeth and as Ashley began to cry he had stood frozen. Chakwas heard Ashley's sobs and pushed them out of the med bay as her team went to work.

"True," Chakwas said. "It is all pointless if Shepard does not …"

The door to the conference room slid open and Nurse Zyu entered, "Doctor Chakwas, the Commander has requested to see you and XO Pressly."

* * *

><p>Shepard was dressed, sitting at her desk and reviewing her messages when Chakwas and Pressly entered … "Good evening," Shepard smiled, pale and tired looking.<p>

"Shepard," Chakwas frowned. "You should not be up."

"No, doc," Shepard shook her head, "According to Nurse Zyu and the calendar, I've been on my back too long."

"It's good to see awake," Pressly said, sounding glad but concerned.

"Thanks, Pressly," Shepard said, looking through her messages. "What have I missed these past few days?"

As Chakwas and Pressly updated Shepard … including the request and acceptance of the trip to Quana … she sat quiet and without emotion. Her silence began to worry the two and once they were finished Pressly asked if she had any questions.

Shepard stood up; using her chair for support and feeling light-headed from standing too fast fell back against the desk.

"Commander!" Pressly yelled as Chakwas rushed towards her and Shepard waved her away.

Shepard, leaning against the desk, looked at Pressly, "Two days?"

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly answered. "The Councilor said to pack as if on vacation and not going to war."

"That will be all, Pressly," Shepard said, jaw clenched. As her XO exited, Chakwas went to leave as well but Shepard told her to stay, "We need to talk."

"Commander?" Chakwas walked to the foot of the bed and faced Shepard.

"This has you written all over it," Shepard said. "Forced vacation."

"Me?" Chakwas asked, touching her throat.

"Don't play innocent, doc," Shepard said. "Pressly would not have agreed to this … unless encouraged by someone he respects. And who in my crew would see a trip to the Crystalis Resort … without backup … as a positive thing?"

"I admit that I encouraged him to accept for you," Chakwas said. "You need to give your body time to rest … and here you can do both."

Shepard, feeling weak and shaky, sat back down … "Restful? A hotel full of asari? Playing girlfriend with one?" Shepard envisioned a crowded dance floor of them, pushed against her, as Liara held her … "What have you done?"

"I have found an alternative to me leaving," Chakwas answered.

"Leaving?" Shepard's brow lowered, "What are you talking about?"

"As head of the medical team here on the Normandy," Chakwas said, "I am responsible for the health of everyone … everyone, including you. If you won't take my direction as it relates to your physical well-being, I see no reason to stay."

"If that's the way you feel," Shepard stood up, angry. "You fail to understand my role on the Normandy … fail to understand that I must be more than the others."

"Even if it kills you!" Chakwas said, heading for the door.

"I know what I am doing," Shepard argued as she stiffly moved towards Chakwas.

"Do you?" Chakwas stopped, turning to face Shepard. "Why don't you strip off your clothes and look at your body in that mirror!"

Shepard looked at the full-length mirror and back at Chakwas, "I have a feeling that …"

"That you won't like what you see?" Chakwas softened.

Shepard's eyes misted, "I know … I … I couldn't help but see how … damaged my body is when I got dressed. What's worse is it feels worse than it looks."

"I feared that it did," Chakwas said, walking to Shepard and taking her by the arm, "Shepard, I don't want to stop you from what needs to be done. I just know that you must rest now and again … that your body has to have time to recuperate. You and the krogan are the only two who have went on every mission ... Let Diouf command some of them. You have trained them ... taught them how a team works and survives ... they are ready."

"I know," Shepard said, as they walked to her bed. "But a hotel of asari?"

"It won't be that bad," Chakwas laughed as Shepard got in the bed. "And Liara is a good girl."

"Asari," Shepard corrected. "Liara corrected me when I called her a woman."

"Did she?" Chakwas laughed harder. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," Shepard answered, closing her eyes and the image of Shiala flashing before her, "Bacchus! I remember … we killed that plant and an asari … did something to me … where is she?"

"They have her locked up," Chakwas answered.

"I have to talk to her," Shepard said, struggling to get up.

"You need to rest," Chakwas said, gently forcing her back down.

Shepard frowned, "How about a compromise? I'll stay in my quarters and she is brought here so that we can talk?"

"A compromise?" Chakwas raised a brow, "Well, that's a start … I'll have her sent in. Do you want Zyu to come back in?"

"Yes, please ... Oh, Doctor," Shepard stopped her. "Have a tray of sitruuna brought in as well … It might make the asari more comfortable."

"I'll see Eugene on the way," Chakwas smiled. "Henry is managing the colonists' meals off-ship while we are here."

"Oh, and those chocolate cookies that Liara liked," Shepard added, not really hearing Chakwas.

"You think all asari like the same thing?" Chakwas asked.

"No," Shepard said. "Those are for me … Thinking about Liara made me remember her devouring them one evening in the mess hall."

"Well, I'm glad to see that you know what your girlfriend likes," Chakwas teased.

Shepard threw a pillow at her as she laughed, "Get out of here!"

* * *

><p>Diouf had two soldiers placed just outside the Captain's stateroom as he and Kaidan escorted the asari into the room. Nurse Zyu informed them that Shepard would be out in just a few minutes as she showed Eugene Théron, who had just arrived with a tray, where to place it.<p>

Shepard heard them come in as she slid the toothbrush back into its holder. _Okay, Elizabeth_, Shepard said to herself in the mirror, _Stay calm, polite and … frackers … pretend she is Liara. Nice, normal Liara … You can do this._ She closed her eyes; head against the mirror as she heard the song _Regret _by New Order begin. _No fear … no pain … no anger_.

Shiala had spent the last three days scared and wondered what was going to happen to her. She was prepared to die if the Commander decided it to be so … and during those days she meditated and performed Anskrit as she prayed for the Matriarch. She feared that all was lost and that those she loved were without hope. As her mind slowly became hers again over the past few days she began to see things more clearly and her shame and despair grew. She thought of the dark, twisted pleasures that Saren had performed on her … _what would he do with Little if he had her_? _Does he have her now? Oh, Goddess_! She hoped that this human condemned her.

Now as she sat down, music on low … cookies and sitruuna? She looked away from the three humans and as she scanned the room she almost cried out … there on the Commander's desk was a sketch by Little. She knew Liara's hand and this was one that she had seen before … her tree on Lusia! She knew that Liara was not on the ship or she would have already seen her … of that she was certain. But this human knew Liara .. she must! As Shepard appeared out of her private head, Shiala turned away from the framed sketch and looked at the Commander.

Shepard, moving slowly, limped over to the table and told the two men and woman to leave. Kaidan wanted to argue but he just gave a slight bow and left with Diouf and Zyu … going just as far as the other side, ready to return if he heard any sounds of violence.

As the door shut, Shepard picked up the teapot and began pouring, "I hope you like sitruuna … if not, I can have something else brought in."

"The lifeblood of the asari," Shiala said. "I am sorry that our last interaction pained you."

"Three days of rest," Shepard smiled. "How can I complain? I hope that while I was … sleeping, you were being treated well."

"Yes, thank you," Shiala answered.

"This cipher ..." Shepard said. "How soon will it work?"

"You have been given a great gift," Shiala said, "An experience of an entire people."

"Yes, but when will it start to work?" Shepard asked again, putting the teapot down and taking her seat. "I feel no different than before ... I was hoping to at least not have headaches ... Yes?"

"It will take time for your mind to process this information," Shiala said, rotating her cup counter-clockwise as she spoke. "You must be patient, Commander."

Shepard nodded as she took a chocolate cookie, "Of course ... Patience. And while I am waiting ... Tell me about yourself."

"There is nothing remarkable about me," Shiala answered, taking a drink of the tea.

"Please," Shepard smiled.

"I was merely one of Matriarch Benezia's disciples," Shiala said. "For nearly two centuries ... I followed her … learning at her feet."

"Two centuries?" Shepard shook her head, "Hmmm ... What is the Matriarch like? To keep you at her feet for two centuries?"

Shiala put her cup down, looked at Liara's sketch and wondered what this human really wanted to ask. "The Matriarch is greatly respected among our people ... She is a teacher of philosophy and religion ... always seeking the paths of peace and harmony. She is beautiful, wise and gifted in touch. I was very blessed to have her take me as an acolyte … many are turned away ... why she chose me, I'll never understand."

"Did she teach this path of peace and harmony to her daughters?" Shepard asked.

"Daughter," Shiala corrected, "Her daughter is innocent … she has no knowledge of what the Matriarch had planned. I only pray that she never finds out and that she is safe somewhere."

"She is safe," Shepard answered, drinking her tea.

"So you do know her!" Shiala said, tears starting to fall down her cheeks.

Shepard picked up a napkin and handed it to the asari, "Yes ... I took her from Therum to the Citadel."

"Thank the Goddess!" Shiala cried, pressing the napkin to her eyes.

"This … indoctrination," Shepard began, "would it … will the Matriarch hurt her daughter?"

"The indoctrination makes Saren's arguments more persuasive, more compelling," Shiala said. "But he wants Liara … so she should be safe ... until Saren himself has her."

"Why does he want her?" Shepard sat forward. "Is it her knowledge of the protheans?"

Shiala thought of being alone with Saren … being bound … the cutting … the pain … tears began to fall.

"I'm sorry," Shepard said as she wished that she had a bottle of whiskey in front of her.

"I am sorry," Shiala answered. "Saren cannot be given Little!"

"Little?" Shepard tilted her head slightly at that name.

"Liara," Shiala smiled weakly, "We have called her that since she was small."

Shepard laughed, "Little may regret you telling me that."

"You are the reason she is safe," Shiala said. "I give you permission to call her that."

"Thank you," Shepard said, looking at the concern on the asari's face. Should she tell her that the asari is on her way there? Could she trust her or was she still under Saren's influence? "What will you do now? If I were to let you go?"

"If you let me go?" Shiala asked. "I would wish good fortune upon you … Saren must be stopped before he finds the conduit. And he must not take possession of Liara."

"He won't ... on both," Shepard said. "And you? What will you do?"

"As for me?" Shiala looked at her cup, "I will stay here with the colonists … if they would have me."

"You would stay here on Feros?" Shepard looked into the asari's eyes. "Why?"

"I feel great shame for my part in their suffering," Shiala answered, looking at Shepard. "As long as any colonists remain on this world … I will do whatever I can to aid and protect them."

"You wouldn't return home?" Shepard asked.

"Home?" Shiala shook her head. "My home was with the Matriarch, the acolytes … Little. That is gone."

"What about Liara?" Shepard pushed. "You aren't going to go to her? Protect her?"

"I cannot protect her," Shiala looked over at her sketch. "But you can."

Shepard looked over at the sketch, "Liara doesn't need my protection … she needs her mother."

Shiala knew better than Shepard how Liara needed the Matriarch … but she also knew that the Matriarch was no longer in control of her mind or body. "You must keep Liara away from the Matriarch. The mother that she needs is no longer ... promise me, Commander."

Shepard heard the pleading in Shiala's voice and slowly stood, "I will have a representative of the colonists brought on to the Normandy … you can offer your services."

"Thank you, Commander," Shiala said, standing up, as Shepard called in Diouf.

"Take Shiala to the conference room and have a representative of Zhu's Hope brought onboard to meet with her."

"Yes, ma'am," Diouf answered.

"Shiala," Shepard stepped towards her, "Please accept my invitation to dinner tomorrow … here in my quarters."

"Thank you, Commander," Shiala bowed her head. "I would be honored."

As Diouf and Shiala left, Shepard saw Kaidan standing at her door. "Did you need something, Lieutenant?"

"Do you have some time to talk now, Commander?" he asked.

Shepard motioned to the chair just vacated by Shiala, "Please … I'm sure I can stay upright for a few minutes more." Sarah McLachlan began to sing _Possession_ as Kaidan pulled out Shepard's chair and waited for her to be seated … he could see that she was hurting and he wanted to touch the cut on her left cheek where the bullet had grazed her when he bent over to push her seat in. "Thank you," she smiled at him and gently pushed him away, "Go take your seat."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, words spoken softly and carefully.

"If I said fine … would you believe me?" She grinned. He shook his head and looked down at the cup that Shiala had drank out of … How to tell this woman how he felt. Would it be right? Fair? What should he do? As he struggled with his next step, Shepard looked over at the hiding place of her whiskey. She sighed and broke the silence, "You've got a little black raincloud sitting over your head, Lieutenant."

Kaidan looked up, a small smile … "I'll try and keep the deck dry."

"Good," she answered, looking at the big chocolate cookies. "You know Liara likes these … I once saw her eat four in one sitting … four. I mean she's a tall girl but … four."

"Liara," Kaidan looked at Shepard, "There are a few … guys that miss her."

"Really?" Shepard asked, pushing the cookies away. "Was she dating while staying with us?"

"Would that bother … I mean …" Kaidan went silent.

"All right, Alenko," Shepard sat forward. "Off the record, permission to speak candidly, cross my heart and hope to die … What do you want to talk about?"

Kaidan cleared his throat, "It's about you and Dr. T'Soni … playing lovers."

"Ah, the mission ... Yeah, her and I together ... she is pretty innocent," Shepard winked. "I mean, there is a risk that no one will believe it when they see us together ... her being so sweet and naive ... then they would look at me ... the look of a woman who has had plenty lovers ... rough nights ... blood on her hands ... one might even say that Liara is a little too young for me, wouldn't you say?"

"I think she's older than both of us put together," Kaidan said as Shepard stretched her left side, slowly. "But uh, yeah ... There was a lower-deck rumor that she … was, uh, interested in you. And not as a source of prothean data."

"Really?" Shepard straightened, thinking of Liara's admission of attraction. "Hmmm ... And yet, she never grabbed me and kissed me beneath a storm."

"Shepard ..." Kaidan shifted in his seat.

"They're wrong, Kaidan," Shepard said, her tone serious. "She wasn't interested in me … in that way. Honestly, I thought you two were starting to hit it off."

"She's a very interesting lady," Kaidan seemed to relax. "Not to my, uh … tastes. But I never claimed to be big on alien culture."

"Well there you go," Shepard smiled as she began to rise up, "Liara is safe from you and I. Now if you don't mind … I am tired."

"Shepard," Kaidan stood and went to help her, "About what happened on the hill ..."

"Let's not talk about that now," Shepard smiled weakly at him.

"Sure," Kaidan answered as they moved towards the bed.

"Why aren't you attracted to Liara?" Shepard asked as she sat on her bed. "She's pretty … smart ... blue."

"Dr. T'Soni?" Kaidan looked at Shepard. "She's a bookish sort ... I prefer adventurous women."

"Adventurous women?" Shepard laughed. "They tend to leave their men ... Go with the bookish sort."

"Goodnight, Commander," he smiled.

"Goodnight, Lieutenant," Shepard called back as he headed for the door.

"Do you want me to have Nurse Zyu come back in?" Kaidan asked as Shepard, on top of the covers, put her head on her pillow.

"No," Shepard said, "I need to be alone ... I don't want witnesses when I start to research how to date an asari ... after all, in two days I have to greet my girlfriend. Now go on."

As Kaidan exited, Shepard turned up Bill Withers' _The Same Love That Made Me Laugh_ and thought of Ricky. "Well Rickster ... if you were here you would love this. Maybe if I pretend to be you on this ...vacation ... I'lll have fun." She thought of the hotel filled with the asari ... then the thought of Ismene Dantium came to her mind. "Oh, please! Don't let that Medusa be there ... I owe you Chakwas!"


	53. Contracts, JetBlue & Cookies

The winds were stronger than usual as they pushed across the frozen waters of the Midim'ah Lake on Quana. The waters were always frozen and the winds always bitter on that cold planet located within the same system as Feros. Despite its bitterness, the planet was home to not only prothean ruins but also the Crystalis Resort ... An exclusive destination for the elite with one nine-star and three eight-star hotels, six Edesia rated restaurants, seven nightclubs, thirty plus high end clothing stores from asari to human designers and five casinos resulting in humans calling it Monte Crystalis. This was a place reserved for the most affluent of the galaxy or those that shared their bed, friendship or favors.

The premier nine-star hotel in the Crystalis Resort was the Aikaterine which looked like a shard of glass driving up 330 metres from the frozen planet with small slivers of ice, in reality the glass elevators, running up and down it … As shuttles approached the port and the hotel came into view ... the passengers, especially the ones arriving at the Resort for the first time, could be heard oohing and aahing in marvel at its appearance and height. The hotel had been designed by its asari owner of the same name who was also considered one of the most beautiful creatures to ever grace the galaxy.

With the final two weeks of the Chaironton Festival fast approaching the hotel was decorated for the celebration of the sitruuna and the first harvest. During that time, the Aikaterine would be host to many of the wealthiest and highly-respected of all asari ... The hotel would also no longer book to anyone but the asari for the festival and its celebrations. There were members from all twelve families attached to the Corallium Circle on the reservation list for that period and Aika, as her family and close friends called her, was also scheduled to return to the hotel and make an appearance. This was considered a special treat as she spent a great portion of her time at her estate on Bekenstein with her lover, the respected female human violinist Liqiu Zhào. During her months of absence from the hotel, guests were left to just gaze on her in a traditional asari painting that was hung in the grand lobby front and center over the great fireplace.

But even Aika's beauty could not compete with her current guest … the Matriarch Benezia. As she moved through the lobby the guests stopped … seeing any Matriarch out of asari space was rare ... but the Matriarch Benezia was one of the most highly respected among her people. In the past, she would have smiled and greeted those around her, sharing wisdom and touch, but not now. This Matriarch looked neither left nor right as she walked to the glass elevator that would take her back to the White Rose Penthouse. She had just had dinner at the Bosem where she had arranged contracts on one Commander Elizabeth Shepard. These were not contracts dealing with murder but of tracking … Matriarch Benezia wanted to know the SpecTRe's every move once she landed on Quana. These new contracts were to replace the previous ones that she had procured a month prior. The change was made after it was determined that the Matriarch's daughter was now to be travelling with the Commander to Quana. The risk of Liara being killed if caught in the middle was too great a risk.

The news of the intimate relationship between Commander Shepard and Dr. T'Soni had angered Saren … The Matriarch had told him on Virmire when she had delivered the neurospecialist Rana Thanoptis to him from Illium. Saren's former lead scientist, a salarian, had become indoctrinated during his research and the Matriarch had suggested using an asari ... "Our minds are stronger and will take longer to become corrupted."

As she told him of the communication between her and Tatiaria he had been pleased of the funds that would be at their disposal … there was so much to be done. But his mood turned black when she said that Liara had become attached to Captain Anderson's protégé. The thought of the human … "a human!" … with the asari that should be at _his_ feet made him blind with rage. As he pulled the Matriarch out of the office, he reminded her of his warning years ago … "This human will be moving into that estate of yours ... using Liara to gain access to your world … Liara spread open to be emptied by this filthy disease! She should be here! Following me! Wanting me!"

The Matriarch did not like to see Saren displeased with her and as he threw her to the ground she told him that she would punish Liara for causing him such distress. He turned away from her, looking out at the sea as the Matriarch slowly stood up. He could see that the Matriarch was no longer in control of her mind … he was … _not the Matriarch, not Sovereign … I am controlling her! All those times she thought herself above me … not now!_ He was angry but also enjoying the Matriarch begging _him_ … wanting to please _him_ … He demanded that the Matriarch claim her offspring and bring her to him at once or be cut off from him.

"Yes," the Matriarch said. "I will go to the Aikaterine and bring her back ... And the SpecTRe? Do you want her brought here as well?"

"Kill her," he answered, looking out at the horizon.

"If she is with Liara," the Matriarch told him, "then custom dictates that I cannot … to do so would be to cut off all of my resources."

"Asari customs," he grabbed her by her face. "I want her dead!"

"There may be a way," the Matriarch said, once he let her go. "If I were to talk with Liara … tell her that I am afraid that the Commander is going to kill me … I could have her poison the human."

Saren turned away to look again at the surf pounding against the shore, "How do you propose to have her do it?"

The Matriarch's corrupted self hated Liara for causing this trouble between her and Saren … She wished that she had never had her … it would be better if Saren needed just her … "If they are truly lovers … Liara will desire my approval … she will have such a need for me ... so much that she will want to discuss with me … yes, because she has been without me for so long ... she will be blind. Blind enough to drop the poison in her lover's drink, accepting whatever I tell her."

"I want her to be open to me," Saren turned back to her, clutching her arm, "I want her to need me … not this human … and not you!"

"She will," The Matriarch said, feeling him cutting into her. "She will not come here in grief … This poison would at first seem to put the Commander into a deep sleep … and then within the hour her heart would stop. In that hour of the human's death, she will be on her way here … to you."

"Grieving this foul human?" Saren squeezed tighter, drawing blood.

"Does one grieve over a lover still alive?" The Matriarch fought the pain. "She will arrive here believing that Shepard is still alive and on her way back to the Normandy. Trust me, Saren."

Saren turned to Benezia, "And why would Liara poison her own lover?"

"I am her mother," the Matriarch smiled. "She trusts me above all others, Saren … What I tell her she will not question if she believes that she is protecting me … She will believe that it will just put the Commander to sleep so that no harm is caused when she leaves with me. Then in time … she will hear that this Shepard died … by then, it will be too late. She will see that you are leading us to victory. That the reapers are our salvation."

Saren nodded, "And she will need comforting."

"Yes," The Matriarch answered, glad that he was pleased with her again.

"When will I have her?" He asked.

The Matriarch placed her hand on the left side of his face, "You will have her within the next cycle ... You will have her knowledge of the protheans."

"And you will teach her how to please me," Saren reminded her.

Now as the Matriarch entered the penthouse she smiled. Liara and the Commander would be just five floors down from her by two days time. "Soon, Liara. Soon you will be where you belong."

* * *

><p>"Are you ready?" Dr. Chakwas asked as she entered the Commander's stateroom with a bag.<p>

"As ready as I'll ever be," Shepard frowned as she starting to zip up her borrowed luggage.

"You look lovely!" Chakwas said.

"What?" Shepard said, looking down at her vintage pink Chanel dress, "This old thing?"

"Where have you been hiding this?" Chakwas asked as she dropped the small leather bag on the table and felt the fabric.

"I'll never tell," Shepard answered, turning back to her luggage. "The Aikaterine is pretty high end … and this is the only thing that suits it … Vintage Chanel. I just hate how my scars show. I'll have to go clothes shopping once there or this dress will be tattered and me shunned by the end of the … _vacation_."

"Well," Chakwas said, "There are worse things than being shunned in a Chanel … and you do look beautiful in it."

Shepard looked at the areas of her exposed skin … looked at the scars, cuts and bruises and frowned … "I really would prefer wearing armor in that crowd ... But looking at how horrible my body looks, I might be safe on this trip."

"I told you to think of them as men," Chakwas said. "Not worse … not better."

"Sure," Shepard frowned. "Well … the shuttle should be landing. Time to go and play act to the asari audience."

"Wait," Chakwas handed the small leather bag to Shepard. "Here are some items that will help you as you recover … do not overmedicate though. I do not want to have to perform an intervention when you return."

"Thanks!" Shepard said as she dropped the bag into her carry-on. "You don't think you could give me a sedative for the flight aboard JetBlue do you?"

"Funny," Chakwas laughed.

"No, I'm serious," Shepard said. "My nerves are already on edge … How do you think it would look if I start screaming _let me out_ as soon as the door closes and I see that I'm the only human in a room of those things?"

"Things?" Chakwas shook her head. "Is that how you feel about Liara?"

"No," Shepard shook her head. "Or the Councilor … or even my new Henry Higgins."

"Henry Higgins?" Chakwas asked.

"Shiala," Shepard laughed. "I have felt like Eliza Doolittle these past two days with her teaching me a little asari social behavior … I don't want to look like a complete ass or embarrass Liara when we are among her kind."

Chakwas grinned as she leaned against the table, "That's actually sweet of you, Commander."

"Thanks!" Shepard faked grin back. "Now … can I have a sedative? Or three?"

"Well," Chakwas thought for a minute. "Since you referenced _My Fair Lady_ … I love that old actor Rex Harrison … One may be available." As Shepard began to say thanks, Chakwas raised up her index finger, "One!"

"Fine," Shepard said, grabbing the bag with the prothean jewelry on her desk as she called in Diouf ... "have those two bags taken to the terminal where JetBlue is arriving."

"JetBlue?" he asked, confused.

"Liara's shuttle," Chakwas said, watching Shepard head to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Liara's stomach tightened as she looked out at the skyscrapers cutting through the clouds of Feros ... They would be docked shortly and she would see the Commander. She knew that once they landed she would remain aboard the shuttle … As a T'Soni it was Shepard that would be required to come to her and she hoped that it did not anger the Commander. As she began to put away her ebook and finish her drink she worried that the Commander would refuse to follow the custom. Shepard had to come to her ... Liara knew that the complete custom, with greeting, would not be expected as told to her by the Councilor ... a fact that made her less uneasy. The thought of Shepard speaking words of desire made her feel aroused and she did not wish Shepard to see her in that state ... so she was thankful that it would be a simple greeting ... as long as Shepard approached her.<p>

Too many non-asari were considered inappropriate in behavior or failed to follow the customs when they dated an asari from the Corallium Circle. It was easier to choose an asari from outside the circle … less rules and customs to follow ... less demands. She had so much to teach Shepard once they were alone and she hoped that it did not anger her … _This must work_, Liara thought. _Mother must not only believe that Shepard cares about me but that she is worthy of me_. Liara saw the shuttle break through the clouds and could see the devastation that the battle between the humans and the geth had brought. But Shepard and her team had stopped them … she smiled for the first time in days … Shepard was safe and hopefully waiting for her … smile just as quickly gone … she hated not knowing how the Commander felt or if she would be there.

* * *

><p>Passing through the Normandy, Shepard had caught the quick glances and a few turning heads as she walked through the CIC … "All right, boys," Chakwas said. "You act as if you haven't seen the Commander before."<p>

Shepard gave a small push to the doctor as she walked over to Pressly, "Now keep this bird and our people safe."

"Yes, ma'am," he answered. "You be careful … this crew needs you."

"Thanks!" Shepard hugged him. She had instructed her inner circle that the Normandy would stay on Feros while she was away and help the colonists and ExoGeni employees bury the dead, fix the housing structures and seed the fields.

"We should be fighting the geth," Diouf said in the meeting.

"Yes, we should," Shepard agreed. "But if the asari Councilor's plan works … when I get back we will have the address of a certain turian … until then, let's remind the crew why we are fighting."

"Agreed," Pressly said. "It seems to be rejuvenating the team … getting their hands dirty, helping out the civilians and planting things instead of destroying things."

"And you?" Kaidan pushed. "Why can't a few of us head to the Quana and give you backup?"

"Because I need to give the Councilor's plan a chance," Shepard answered.

Now as Shepard arrived on the dock she questioned her decision to go it alone. She looked back at Diouf and the squad that had escorted her … waiting at attention for the shuttle … then turned to Dr. Chakwas standing next to her, "Am I crazy to be doing this?"

"You have always been crazy," Chakwas half-teased, "… but this plan? It may work, Shepard."

"May," Shepard hated it when she second-guessed a decision. She was also regretting not telling Shiala that Liara was arriving on Feros … But she did not know if the asari or even Liara could be trusted to meet each other. Shepard hated not knowing who her enemies and allies were … who she could trust and not trust. But the asari had been patient telling her what to avoid doing and what would please an asari lover. The greeting that she taught her made her feel embarrassed ... but she knew that this could not be easy on Liara ... Her mother's safe return the goal. So she listened to Henry "Shiala" Higgins in the crash course in customs and culture-shock for the past two days. Listened, practiced and feared that she would screw up somewhere. She felt as if she was back in school ... _Don't let the preacher woman down_, she had teased herself. _If you bring anything but an A home ... Kristerpuss!_

Shepard thought back to when she had stayed at the hotel with her friend, Michelle Edgar, and she had not really given it much thought. Asari do's and don'ts. But now it mattered. It mattered because … her attention was pulled away as the shuttle appeared and began to land. "Just breathe, Commander," Chakwas said through her smile as they watched the shuttle come to rest.

"I think I'm shaking," Shepard confessed as she smiled. "That pill better kick in soon."

As they waited for the shuttle to be secured and the hatch opened, Shepard began to hum the gospel song _Old Friends_. She thought of her mother leading the song, as she played the piano … then there was Mrs. Taylor who would always cry as she thought of loved ones gone … Shepard didn't know why she had thought of that old woman after all these years but it took her mind off her nerves.

"How are you doing?" Chakwas asked as the shuttle opened and an attendant exited to greet her.

Shepard picked up her carry-on as Diouf carried her luggage to the second attendant that had appeared ... "Here goes nothing."

"I have faith in you," Chakwas gave her a hug.

As they separated, Shepard said under her breath to Chakwas, "All right Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

* * *

><p>Liara had not seen Shepard upon arrival, as her seat was on the opposite side, and even though she wanted to rise up and look out the other side she stayed seated. She was praying that the Commander was there … that she had not decided to not show up. But her fear was quickly removed when she heard other passengers begin commenting on how attractive the human was. As she heard comments about what Shepard was wearing, how beautiful she was and poised for a human she was … It took all of Liara's strength not to run to a window and look. <em>No<em>, Liara told herself. _You will wait as a T'Soni … you will not show dishonor to your family by acting perioikos._

The shuttle became electric as the Commander boarded with many of the asari excited to finally meet the human SpecTRe … With the Commander on board, it allowed Liara to finally stand up and wait next to their seats.

Shepard upon boarding felt her skin crawl and wanted to turn around and run as the asari pressed in. _Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together_, she chanted as she moved farther in.

"Commander Shepard?" The asari pilot asked as she exited the cockpit.

"Yes," Shepard smiled, trying to ignore how the attendant was pushed up against her.

"It is my honor to welcome you aboard," the pilot smiled. "I hope that you have a nice flight with us and if you need anything please let me know. What you did on Elysium was … well … my bond mate was there and you saved her."

"I don't remember any asari there," Shepard said.

"Asari?" The pilot shook her head, "My bond mate is human, Commander. So you see … you and I have something in common."

"In common?" Shepard was confused and then quickly remembered, "Oh, yes … where is Dr. T'Soni?"

"This way," the attendant took Shepard's arm.

"Nice to have met you," Shepard said to the pilot as she watched as the exit was closed behind her. _No turning back now … Sweet Bacchus! Just act like Ricky … you are Ricky in his personal heaven … Just keep it together._

Liara could see that Shepard was on edge and it worried her. She wanted to move through the crowd that was greeting the Commander as she slowly moved towards her but custom would not allow it … Shepard had to come to her. Staying in her spot became even harder when they finally made eye contact … and then Shepard gave her a smile. Shepard continued to be polite to those stopping her and did not call out Liara's name as the asari had worried she would. Liara watched, amazed. Shepard seemed to be following their custom to the letter as she finally stood before Liara, put her carry-on down, touched her hand and said in a tender voice, "With a soft touch and the slightest of movement … I desire you."

Liara, caught off-guard with Shepard's words, felt the arousal at those words but quickly regained her composure and gave the customary response by brushing Shepard's cheek and responding, "And with that touch and the grace of your movement … I welcome your desire."

The asari around them were pleased to see that the human had followed one of their older customs and returned to their seats and previous conversations began again as Liara motioned to their seats, "Do you want the inside seat, Shepard?"

Shepard looked around as she picked up her bag, "If you don't mind."

"No," Liara moved to the side as Shepard moved in towards the window. Liara wanted to ask how Shepard knew the old asari custom but there were only a few onboard that knew that they were not truly lovers. So she would not be able to speak freely with her until they were safely inside their hotel room. Until then … Liara smiled at the Commander.

Shepard, getting comfortable, opened her bag and pulled out an ebook to read, "Do you mind if I read a little?

Liara smiled and shook her head, "I was hoping to do the same."

Shepard looked at Liara, wanting to know if she did the greeting right, and leaned in to whisper, "Sorry you are stuck with me ... I know this can't be easy."

As Shepard pulled back and flipped her book on, Liara could feel tears wanting to escape. So she focused her mind elsewhere and said, "There is Jameson whiskey onboard but I'm afraid that you will have to eat Thessian food."

"Thessian food?" Shepard said. "Then I guess you will need to order for me. If I order, Bacchus knows what I'll end up looking at."

Moments of silence as Shepard adjusted the hem of her dress and chose something to read as Liara stole glances at Shepard's profile. She had wanted to tell her how lovely she was in her dress but she feared that it would make Shepard uncomfortable so she asked instead, "How is everyone?" ... just as the shuttle began to pull away from the dock.

"Fine," Shepard smiled. "You are missed on the Normandy … oh, speaking of which …" Shepard re-opened her bag and pulled out a bag of chocolate cookies, "I had a batch made for you by Henry."

At the sight of the cookies, Liara felt herself start to lose control again. Shepard was not angry … she appeared to be glad to be with her … even bringing her a gift. "Thank you, Shepard."

"You're welcome, Liara," Shepard smiled. "It's the least I can do after your beautiful rendition of _UttVoc_."

"Did you really like it?" Liara asked.

"Very," Shepard smiled as the attendant asked if they wanted anything to drink. "Can you bring a glass of Jameson and a glass of elasa, please?"

Liara looked at Shepard and smiled, "How did you know that I wanted elasa?"

"Oh, that's for me," Shepard winked. "I thought you wanted the whiskey."

"You drink …" Liara stopped, seeing the twinkle in Shepard's eyes, "Oh by the Goddess … not a few minutes together and you are back to teasing me."

Shepard gave a small laugh and turned to face the window. _Okay_, she breathed in, _this is not as bad as you thought … almost enjoyable ... you can do …_ movement behind her made her tense up. They were behind her and all around and the hair on her arm stood up as a reminder … _Dinglebottery Shepard! Stop being so creeped out … they are just blue men. Blue … tall … alien … mengirls._ Her drink was placed in front of her and she had to stop herself from slamming it down in one gulp. _You must sip it or Liara will worry_, she told herself as she picked up her glass. _Stay calm and just focus on Liara. Easy peasy._

"Are you okay, Shepard?" Liara asked, sensing the shift in Shepard's body.

"I'm great," Shepard answered, turning to face her. "I'll be even better when you offer me a cookie."

Liara looked at the bag and shook her head, "I am afraid that there are not enough of them to share."

Shepard looked at the bag and couldn't help but laugh, "There are over two dozen of those monstrosities in that bag."

"So you understand that there are clearly not enough there to share," Liara gave a small smile.

"Why doctor," Shepard laughed, "If I didn't know better … I would say that you are now teasing me."

"Would I do that?" Liara answered, hoping that she was doing it right. She wanted to be able to entertain the Commander, to make her comfortable and hoped that she was not making a mess of it.

Shepard took a drink of her whiskey, looked at Liara … "Keep your cookies then," she said, "I'll just take this," and rattled the ice in her half-empty glass.

Liara took the glass and handed Shepard a cookie. As she watched Shepard sit back again in her seat, taking a bite of the cookie and looking out the window … Liara worried that she would not be able to keep up with the Commander. The human was too unpredictable and there were times … too many … that she did not know what she was supposed to say or do around her. _Please help me_, Liara prayed to Athame, as she touched the cross on her bracelet. _Please help me protect mother and Shepard ... and please help me understand the Commander._


	54. Pink Skin

Shepard had been quiet, reading _The Enchanted Cottage_ as she drank her whiskey during the first few hours on the flight to Quana. Liara spent her time reviewing her notes, vids and pictures that she had taken of the wall of Kyuos while nibbling through three cookies. Occasionally she would look over at Shepard hoping that she would look up, but the Commander appeared engrossed in her book. Shepard would occasionally look over at Liara and the asari seemed lost in her prothean studies and the cookies.

At supper time Liara ordered Shepard's meal but frowned when the Commander took a few bites and then pushed the plate away. "Do you not like the sahini?"

Shepard, finishing her second glass of whiskey, looked at Liara, "Oh, I like it … it's … it's interesting … it reminds me of shrimp in a type of citrus-y sauce … sorta. I'm just …" _hurting_ "… not very hungry."

"I should have ordered the manitaro with cilrag for you," Liara frowned as she pushed away her own plate.

"No," Shepard pulled Liara's plate back in front of her. "It wasn't the meal … I promise."

"Are you being honest with me, Shepard?" Liara asked.

"Yes, Liara," Shepard smiled. "But if I don't finish it …" Shepard started to pull her own plate back to her "… will I offend you?"

Liara grabbed her hand and stopped her, "No, Shepard. I was just worried that I had made a poor choice."

"Not a poor choice," Shepard had been trying to ignore the fact that the pain pill's magic had worn off and as she became aware of her body again knew that if she did not take another pill soon she might start pounding her head against the table … "It really was a fine meal, Liara. Really."

"We will find a restaurant that has spaghetti on Crystalis," Liara said, as she watched Shepard reach into a leather bag, rummage through it and then sigh as she pulled out a syrette_._

_Thank you, Chakwas_, Shepard silently said to herself. "Do you mind moving, Liara? I need to use the ladies … uh, asari … the toilet."

Once Shepard was safely out of sight, Liara opened the leather bag and saw the medicine that Dr. Chakwas had packed for the Commander. Seeing the contents of the bag, Liara understood that Shepard had been hurt recently and was in pain. She would need to discreetly contact Dr. Chakwas once they were checked in at the Aikaterine. She wanted to make sure that Shepard followed whatever the doctor's instructions were ... Not that she believed that the Commander could be ordered about by her. But she did not want Shepard to do anything that might put more physical strain on her and result in her hurting herself even more. If Liara knew what restrictions were on Shepard, she could carefully see that they were followed.

Once Shepard returned and took her seat, the attendant informed Shepard that the film _Pink Skin_ had been chosen in her honor. Liara felt her stomach tighten … _Pink Skin_ was a tragic love story between a Corallium Circle matron and a thirty-something female human. The film, set on Illium, focused on the asari, an executive in her families company, who begins an affair with a human who has just started working at the company. The human has never been off her homeworld, Earth, and has to learn the ways of the asari on Illium … The affair is passionate but is finally torn apart because the asari is already a bondmate to a turian who has returned to her homeworld on Palaven. The asari struggles with her desire for the human and her commitment to the turian … The struggle is a result of the asari being lovers with non-asari as she knows that neither the turian nor human would agree to her seeing both. So in the end, she leaves for Palaven and her human lover kills herself.

"Oh," Shepard smiled. "Thank you … and what is the film about?"

The attendant told her that it was about a human who becomes emotionally attached to an asari, "and the scenes of their time together are beautiful. Twylax plays the asari ... Have you seen her previous work?"

"No," Shepard shook her head. "To be honest, I have never seen an asari movie."

"No?" The attendant was surprised. "Well Twylax is amazing ... and the female human is quite attractive. I hope that you enjoy the film."

As the attendant walked away, Shepard looked at Liara, "So just for me we have a love story between an asari and a human … Great."

"Not quite," Liara answered. "It is a story about the tragedies of an asari with non-asari."

"But she said that this is for me," Shepard pointed towards the attendant. "How is it for me then?"

Liara wished that this film had not been chosen, "Shepard, part of the story shows the human and her passion for the asari."

"Oh," Shepard said. "And she wins the heart of the asari?"

"No," Liara answered, "she dies after losing her lover."

"And why does she lose her lover … and why does she die?" Shepard asked.

"She …" Liara took a drink of her elasa.

Shepard seeing her hesitation, grinned, "Okay … now I am really curious. Tell me."

Liara, not knowing how Shepard would respond, answered slowly, "She … kills herself … because her lover … understanding … that she will not accept …"

"Not accept?" Shepard pulled.

"… the sharing of her touches … leaves her."

"And that is being played for me?" Shepard fought laughing. "Well, are they trying to tell me something? Are you going to leave me for someone else down the road? Or do I share your … what did you say? Touches?"

"It is just a movie," Liara said.

"No," Shepard teased, "I know … They are trying to tell me that you are leaving me for some turian! That's it! You have a turian lover hidden away … and I need to prepare to commit hara-kiri!"

"What?" Liara asked, as Shepard pulled out a small blanket and pillow. "No! I am not attracted to … Oh! … you were not …serious," Liara wished she caught on to Shepard's teasing quicker than she did.

"Of course not," Shepard laughed. "I think it is you and your asari accomplices here that are not being serious … Why would they play that kind of film for me? A dumped, suicidal human? Is that supposed to be a compliment? Is it supposed to put me in a romantic mood?"

"Shepard," Liara reached out and touched her hand, "it is meant to please you … the film was just released and is already considered a classic and the scenes of pleasure …"

"Wait … this film has sex scenes?" Shepard cut her off. "That's what scenes of pleasure are … right?"

Liara nodded as Shepard frowned ... Liara saw Shepard's mood switch from easy to troubled in a flash and asked, "Do you want me to get you another glass of whiskey?"

"I think I might need the whole bottle," Shepard answered, looking around the cabin and thinking of watching sex scenes of a human and an asari in this room of blue. "Are there many of those ... scenes?"

Liara had watched the film just a week prior at a private screening with the Councilor and had found the seven highly erotic scenes intoxicating as the female human favored Shepard. "I have … heard … that there are a few."

"Few?" Shepard did not want to see or hear sex on that shuttle. She had survived twenty-nine years without seeing an asari or turian or krogan … any alien in that type of intimate moment. And now she would be alone in a cabin full of asari when she experienced seeing it … _Oh, hell no!_ Shepard told herself as she grabbed the leather bag. _Nighty-night_, _Shepard!_ She pulled out the sleeping pills. _Come to me, you beautiful escape,_ Shepard said to the pill that had spilled out on to her hand. She contemplated two but remembered the shot that she had given herself just moments before and then she thought of how she would be out … vulnerable to these creatures. _You are about to knock yourself out_, she told herself, _just before they are going to watch porn. Are you crazy?_

Liara touched Shepard's arm, "The seat converts to a bed if you would prefer to sleep."

Shepard shook her head; _I am not getting horizontal on this shuttle_ … "This is fine, thanks."

Liara saw Shepard looking at the pill and started to become angry at the Commander. _Does the thought of seeing one of us touch one of her kind offend her? Or does she think that we are not to be trusted? That we would dishonor our families … ourselves … just to touch her as she sleeps? Or both? That she is … stop, _Liara told herself as she saw the struggle that the Commander was having with her current situation. _She fears us_ … Liara suddenly realized … _but why? Does she fear me?_ This realization made her anger soften, "Shepard, please rest … I will wake you before we land."

Shepard looked at Liara and hated herself for feeling the way she did. She nodded as she swallowed the pill and took a drink of her whiskey. As the movie started, Shepard saw the name of the human actress and groaned. _Not her_, Shepard looked around the cabin. _Shit! This is some sick joke. Pill work and quick!_ As the human actress appeared on the screen, Shepard pulled the covers over her face and wished that she was anywhere else but there. "Liara, do you think that you could stop this film?"

Liara looked at the screen, the human and asari just meeting and felt her anger returning. "I am sorry that this film is offending you ... that you cannot open your mind to experience an asari film ... Twylax is considered one of the most gifted thespians of this age."

"It's not the asari thespian that is the problem … well, not the main problem," Shepard said below the blanket.

"No?" Liara asked.

Shepard peeked out and saw Liara looking down at her ... "I hate the human actress."

Liara did not understand and a part of her felt that Shepard was not being honest. Liara moved closer to Shepard and whispered, "If it were not this actress … would you watch this film?"

"Do you want me to lie?" Shepard did not want to hurt Liara and she wished that she could get over her aversion to the asari. If not for Liara then for her new role in the galaxy … she had to start seeing them as people and not … _Parasites. Medusas. Cobras. Succubus_ … _You had to go there_? Shepard frowned. _Right before you sleep?_ She could see the hurt in Liara's eyes and hated herself … "Forgive me," Shepard leaned in and whispered to her. "I am just tired, mentally exhausted and …"

"Cruel," Liara said, pulling away from Shepard.

"Cruel?" Shepard lowered her head. "Okay ... Cruel. I tend to get cruel when I'm tired."

"It is not the lack of sleep that is the problem" Liara said, moving closer to Shepard again. "It only removes your ability to hide what displeases you ... and my kind displeases you."

"Ouch," Shepard said, hating it when Liara was cold or disapproving. "You do not displease me."

Liara looked away from Shepard … she wanted to tell her that seeing the Commander look at her people disapprovingly, distrust her people, even sometimes appear to be disgusted by her people … it hurt her. It angered her. It made her see that her affections for the Commander were wrong to have. But this was not the time or place and with her moment of anger … her head now hurt … "Let us not quarrel," she finally said.

"Is that what this is?" Shepard asked. "Not a day into our vacation together and we are already having a lover's spat?"

"Please Shepard," Liara frowned, not wanting to be teased and not understanding what a spat was. "I do not want to discuss this any further ... Please go to sleep and leave me to this film."

Shepard, seeing that Liara was hurt but unable to really discuss the issue … what with outsiders around them and Liara shutting off from her … sighed as she grabbed her e-book and lay back in her seat. _You have to work on this_, Shepard lectured herself. _This isn't just hard on you … you self-centered dolt … it's hard on both of you … harder on her with her mother out there working with Saren … not knowing if this plan to save her mother will work … idiot … put your feelings to the side … focus on keeping Liara safe ... focus on making her happy so that others believe that you two are lovers … that you are attracted to her and most of all … be kind to her_. Shepard would have continued to berate herself had the pill not taking effect and put her out.

Liara wanted to stay angry at the Commander … angry, because it felt better than being hurt. But as Shepard fell asleep, Liara couldn't help but look at her and forgive her. Asleep, Shepard appeared peaceful, soft and vulnerable. Liara shifted towards her as she placed the Commander's arm under the cover and took the e-book from her lap.

"She is beautiful," Moran whispered, as the other passengers watched the film and continued to sneak glances when possible at the Commander.

Liara nodded, placing the e-book on the table between them, "But she can be frustrating … Humans can be so …"

"Odd," the passenger sitting across the aisle said. "My lover of twelve years was human and we had many … misunderstandings. Sometimes they make absolutely no sense."

"You will have a challenge not sharing her with others," Moran said. "On Crystalis there will be many that will want to please her ... Can you control that?"

Liara looked over at Shepard and her stomach began to twist, "Shepard does not yet understand our ways."

"My lover learned our ways," the asari said. "She became open to our nature after a few years … be patient. In time you and her will reach a place of understanding ... She will either become open to pleasure or you will have to deny your desires to make her content in a relationship with you."

Liara looked at Shepard and then back at the asari, "The Commander does not understand our ways and is not open to pleasing others ... She also does not require me to change ... But I would be content with just her touch if she asked."

"Monogamy?" Moran smiled, playing along with the deception as other asari listened in. "Humans can be so insecure and possessive … but looking at her … I might agree with you and consider it if she were mine."

"That is not who we are," the asari shook her head. "You must bring her to the asari way. To deny your nature ..."

"Do not listen to her," Moran shook her head. "To experience a human relationship ... Interesting."

"But to deny pleasures?" the asari said.

"Yes, but only for what?" Moran asked. "It would only be for a few decades … a century at the most."

"A century," Liara looked again at Shepard ... _Not enough time_, she thought as she saw Shepard pout in her sleep.

"Just a season it seems and then they are gone," Moran said.

"So true," the asari said. "But they are so passionate in the short time they live."

Moran leaned towards Liara, "You must enjoy what time you have with her, Dr. T'Soni."

"Enjoy, embrace and then let go," the asari said.

"Let go?" Liara took Shepard's glass of whiskey and finished it as she looked at the sleeping Commander. _I have already had to let you go. But while we are here, _Liara wanted to touch Shepard's hair but instead fixed her pillow, _I can believe that you are mine … that you desire me … pleasing you … no ... I must not believe this deception ... I must let go._

* * *

><p>"I hear that the actress who portrayed Shepard in that Blitz film is in a new film with the asari Twylax," Dale Mondale told Manny as he ordered both a beer.<p>

"Is she?" Manny Castillo asked as he grabbed a seat at the bar and looked over at the pool tables as Hunty Hale sang _Remember Me, Remember You_ over the speakers.

"Yeah … It's called _Pink Skin_," Mondale laughed, sitting next to him. "She plays a human who falls for an asari … Twylax, of course. That asari is the Marilyn Monroe of the asari. Naughty tongue ... but she only dates females. Figures."

"Aliens," Manny shook his head. "Not for me ... But if you like them."

"Me?" Mondale grabbed a handful of peanuts. "Marge would kill me ... but I do wonder what it would be like to be with an asari. Just once. As to the human actress ... I heard the sex scenes in this film are better than those that she did as Shepard with you … or the actor that played you."

Manny gave a laugh, remembering when he and Shepard had snuck into a theater to see the film, _The Bell Tower of the Blitz_. The studio and producers had begged her to appear at the Elysium premiere and there was even a few Alliance Brass that had semi-demanded it … but Shepard had refused. _I have no desire to sit and watch my life on the screen_, Shepard had told them_. I lived it just a few months ago._

A few weeks after it was released, with the actress receiving high praise for her portrayal of the hero of the Blitz and the film still claiming the number one spot at the box office, Shepard finally agreed to see it with Manny. As the film started, it had a naked Shepard moaning in bed with a naked Manny on top saying her name … _Oh, no,_ she ducked behind their tub of popcorn. _Are they serious?_

Manny grinned as it showed his character on top of her, _I like this Shepard_, he teased. _She knows to let her man on top ... and she moans louder than you._ As her character began to moan his first name, a name that she never used, and cry out in over-exaggerated passion she turned her head towards Manny and slid it between him and his seat … _Please let me know when this is over_, she told him as she grabbed his bicep. Manny laughed and said, _Shepard is being tamed by the Castillo!_

_Only in a movie_, she whispered back as a customer in front of them shushed them. _Sorry_, Manny said and took a handful of popcorn ... _Tame that woman, Jesus!_ He said to the screen as Shepard squeezed his arm and groaned, _Shut up!_ The movie only got worse for Shepard as it showed her doing things that she never did during the battle … acting like some superhero that bullets could not touch, killing batarians with her bare hands, running faster than motorcycles … all while her makeup stayed perfect and her clothes skintight. She tried to suffer through it until the most cringe-worthy scene to her appeared and she lost it … The scene showed this fake Shepard in a tank top, tight shorts, hair blowing in the wind, make-up perfect, standing with her legs spread too far apart on top of a building, shooting hundreds of batarians as she yelled, "Come and get me motherfuckers! Momma's got some heat for you!"

_You have got to be kidding me_, she groaned standing up. _Who wrote this pile of crap? Did they not have an Alliance soldier as a consultant on this shoot? What was she doing? Red Sand? _The crowd shushed her and she looked down at Manny, _and dressed like that? Seriously? _Manny laughed at Shepard's outburst, _You don't think that Shepard dressed like that, dear?_

The crowd began to throw popcorn at them, booing … Some of the customers telling this crazy woman to show some respect for the hero of the Blitz. Manny seconded that and told his date to show some respect for the great hero Shepard! _Respect? This whole film is a slap in the face … And that line! No one would say that idiotic line while being shot at … come and get me, motherfuckers?_ The crowd started yelling for her to shut up, still not knowing who she was, and a theater employee appeared to escort her out. _Yeah, yeah …_ _I'm going, I'm going_, she told him as Manny followed her laughing. _And I want his money back_, she said referring to Manny. _Crap film!_

Manny had teased her for days about that line she hated so much and also told her that he was going to leave her for the real Shepard. "What real Shepard?" She had asked.

"The one that lets me make love to her on top," he answered.

"Really?" Shepard cocked a brow.

"And …" Manny continued, "… she moans louder as she cries out my name … my real name … Jesus!"

"Oh, that real Shepard," Shepard laughed. "Well I suggest you get in your tow truck, Jesus, and head for Hollywood … I would hate for that real Shepard to get away from you. I hear that she can even remove her scars … hot bonus!"

"Are you jealous?" Manny pulled her close.

"Piece of crap film!" She said as she pushed him away. "And no I am not jealous of that fake me!"

"I liked the movie," he said, pulling her back. "Or at least the parts I got to see before my crazy girlfriend got us kicked out."

Shepard laughed, putting her arms around his neck, "Crazy, huh?"

"Crazy," he kissed her on the nose.

"But you love me," she smiled as she pulled away.

"Oh, I don't know," he said. "I found you … I mean the real Shepard, pretty sexy in that movie. Her eyes aren't catty like yours or her lips as tempting … but real Shepard was pretty hot."

"That was not me," she glared at him. "And unlike that garbage … I not only do not lie on my back and yell the name Jesus … I had help on Elysium. I did not survive it alone … those idiot writers! There was more than one hero out there and the film disrespected those who lived and died there … Those Hollywood bastards!"

"Shepard hated that film," Manny laughed, wiping down the area of the bar in front of him and then grabbing his beer.

"Did she?" Mondale asked, checking his messages. "She was badass in that picture. How could she hate it?"

"You should ask her," Manny smiled at the memory. "So, did you accept the position?"

"Just an hour ago," Mondale smiled. "Shipping and receiving manager for Orthrus Research on Illium … Marge will be upset that we will have to leave Texas … until I tell her that I am making five times my current pay, great benefits and they are even paying for our living expenses in Nos Astra … can you believe that?"

"I'm glad for you," Manny said, "Sad to see you go though."

"Thanks," Mondale said, "It's almost too good to be true."

"Did you find out who recommended you for the position?" Manny asked.

"No," Mondale answered. "I asked my boss and the guy that interviewed me … but nothing. They just said that someone in a high position put my name in the hat. It almost felt like I had the job before the interview started."

"So what will you be doing on Illium?" Manny asked.

"The guy told me that the volume I'll be handling will be pretty small," Mondale answered. "But that every package going in and out is to be treated with care. Extreme care. I'll have four employees reporting to me and I report to the guy just below the big boss … a woman. The word is she is really attractive too. Of course, that information will not be told to Marge."

Manny lifted his beer, looked at the liquid and then asked, "Have you spoken with Shepard lately?"

"It's been a while," he shook his head. "But I received an e-mail from her about a month ago. She's doing great … the first human SpecTRe. Can you believe that? Our Shepard! Who would have thought all those years ago that she would end up doing everything she has? I still remember her driving a forklift and sharing lunches with me. It's crazy how things can change."

"Our Shepard," Manny waved the bartender over, "Quatro! Patron!"

"She said to tell you hello," Mondale lied.

"Did she?" Manny asked, finishing off his beer. "She still seeing that suit?"

"I don't know," Mondale said, accepting one of the shots of Patron. "You know Shepard … she doesn't talk about herself. At least … well, not about her love life anyway. Maybe she is hooking up with an asari … like in _Pink Skin_! Wouldn't that be funny?"

"No," Manny shook his head. "That wouldn't be funny. But you say that the scenes are even hotter than in Bell Tower?"

"That is the word," Mondale took his shot. "I'd go see it but that actress favors Shepard way too much for me … not only would it feel creepy but also pervy. Like I was watching my friend having sex … So, nope. I'll pass."

"The actress isn't as beautiful as Shepard," Manny took a shot. "But … I might go see it."

"Will you come visit Marge and me on Illium?" Mondale asked.

"Out there?" Manny downed another shot. "My business takes all of my time."

"Aren't you even curious at what's out there?" Mondale asked.

"The only thing out there," Manny answered, looking at his final shot, "is Shepard. If she asked me to come … I would."

Mondale finished his beer, stood up and said, "Jesus, it's been four years … you have a family now … kids … Shepard is a SpecTRe. She works for the Citadel Council. She belongs to the galaxy. She was in our world for a while but … I think it's time that you let her go."

"Let her go?" Manny downed his final shot and stood up. "Easier said than done, Dale."


	55. An Invitation, Surprise & Gift

Shepard had awakened an hour before they were scheduled to land in the private VIP terminal of the Aikaterine and Liara was still distant. Shepard knew that she had hurt the asari and hoped that she had a chance to make it up to her … and soon. She found that she didn't like it when Liara was upset or removed from her … when the doctor ignored her. It didn't matter that all the other asari on the shuttle were eager to please or that the attendant was making sure that she was want for nothing as she kept her coffee cup refilled. She would look over at Liara whose body was turned slightly away from her as she read … _Great_, Shepard pouted. _This is beginning to feel like a real relationship … How did that happen?_

When Liara excused herself and went to the toilet, Shepard stole one of her cookies and ate it in place of the Thessian food in front of her. When Liara returned, Shepard watched Liara as she looked at her cookie bag and gave a quick glance at Shepard … but she didn't say anything about Shepard's pilfering. Instead, she closed the bag and went back to her reading leaving Shepard disappointed. _Nothing?_ Shepard frowned and looked out the window. She would definitely need to make up with Liara once they were off that shuttle or this would be a long and very torturous holiday. As the silence continued, Shepard decided to shut it out along with Liara's ignoring her … so she bent over to pick up her bag that was on the floor between her and Liara and as she grabbed the bag, Liara moved her leg away. _Don't even want me to touch you?_ Shepard shook her head as she opened the bag, pulled out her iMuse and sat back in her seat. _So now I know what you are like when you are really mad_, Shepard thought with a pout as she scrolled through her library until she found The Smiths' _Bigmouth Strikes Again_. Shepard nodded her head as she gave a quick look at Liara ... _Perfect_, Shepard thought and hit play as she sat back in her chair. _You ignore me and I'll ignore you, miss prothean expert._

* * *

><p>"The shuttle should be here within the next ten minutes," Zenaida said, entering the White Rose Penthouse.<p>

"And Liara and the human?" The Matriarch asked, standing in the main living area of the penthouse and looking out the window towards the dawn sky.

"Relationship doubtful," Zenaida answered. "Agenia says that Liara has been showing displeasure with the human and not affection."

"Displeasure?" the Matriarch's face darkened. "In what way?"

"Agenia said that words were spoken," Zenaida answered. "What those words were she could not hear … but Liara has been distant from the human since."

The Matriarch turned towards the commando, "I must be sure … If Liara is not drawn to the human then my sister has betrayed me … betrayed Saren. Did you have the devices placed in their suite?"

"Ipomona did not leave with Sibila," Zenaida answered. "She also found the monitoring devices we had placed in there earlier and …"

The Matriarch, in anger, pulled the commando towards her with the use of her biotics and then slammed her against the shatterproof floor to ceiling window. As the asari fell to the floor unconscious, the Matriarch looked out at the sky again, "Orthia, I must know if the words of my sister are true or if this human is … nothing to Liara."

"Of course, Matriarch ... Rest assured that there is nothing they will do that we will not see," the acolyte said, as she helped up the dazed Zenaida.

"Nothing?" The Matriarch eyes narrowed. "The one place that the truth of what exists between Liara and this Shepard will be hidden. I must know if this human is bound by Liara's touch … only the sharing of their bodies will confirm that Liara has affection for the human."

"Pleasure is only …" Orthia began but stopped when the Matriarch turned towards her.

"The attraction for non-asari has never been expressed by Liara," the Matriarch reminded them. "She has always found her pleasure with our kind. If she is with this human … it is more than simple pleasures."

"But Liara is just a little more than a century," Zenaida said, leaning against the wall.

"Too soon," Orthia nodded. "It is not in our nature to connect at that age."

"Not in our nature," the Matriarch said, as the image of Zazzy was pulled from the memories of Benezia. "Liara does not follow the traditional path ... But if she were to connect now ..." The Matriarch smiled, "She will need her mother ... she will need ΕπZρεάζYω." The Matriarch closed her eyes as she heard Saren whispering to bring Liara to him. His voice touching her … promising to let her sit at his feet again … to let her touch him again … his words filling her with sweetness. "Soon Liara will no longer need even me ... Saren will be her light and he will share his pleasures with her."

As the Matriarch let the image of Saren rush through her … Benezia, hidden away, screamed.

* * *

><p>Once the shuttle was opened and the passengers began to disembark, Shepard stayed seated as she hated how short she felt around them. She was glad that Liara was at the shorter end of the adult asari height as some of them towered at least a foot over her … The asari that sat across the aisle and had discussed her human lover with Liara was one of those taller asari. As she rose, she invited the two for dinner that very evening.<p>

"Thank you for the invitation," Liara smiled. "But I have promised Shepard a private evening ... Tomorrow?"

The asari smiled, "Of course. I remember how my human lover desired my touch. Hungry in body … these humans."

Shepard pretended to not hear what was being said as Liara smiled, thinking of the erotic scenes in _Pink Skin_, "But it is that very hunger that is so exquisite in bed ... I cannot deny her desires."

Shepard felt herself blush at Liara's words … Had she not heard Liara say those words herself; she would not have believed that Liara would say such a thing. And not about her. It made Shepard stop and think about the flight over and how among Liara's own she appeared self-assured and even a little spoiled. As Shepard looked around, she knew that this was a flight carrying asari of wealth and power … she had assumed that it was the Councilor's position that had put Liara on that shuttle. Now after looking at how others treated Liara she began to wonder if Dr. T'Soni was part of that crowd. She knew that the Matriarch was respected and a figure of importance within the asari world … but she had not really connected Liara to that. It was probably because she was trying to keep Liara separate in her mind from the enemy … but now she was beginning to wonder who Liara really was. What her life had been before they met.

"Yes … desires," the asari smiled. "Once you are settled and the human satiated … please let me and my lover share a meal with you. The hotel room is under my name, Agenia Nalbia."

"Is your lover already here and is she human as well?" Liara asked.

"No," Agenia answered. "After my human lover passed away I returned to Thessia. I am now back to our own and she is already at the hotel waiting on me."

"I look forward to meeting her, Agenia," Liara smiled, as the asari began moving down the aisle to the exit.

"Can we wait until everyone is off?" Shepard asked Liara as she put her e-book in her carry-on.

"If that is what you wish," Liara answered, not looking at her but looking at Moran as she moved into the aisle and nodded before she began to exit.

"You don't have to wait with me," Shepard said, starting to get irritated … okay, angry … at Liara's cold attitude.

"You do not want me to wait?" Liara asked, putting her cookies in her carry-on.

"I want you to stop being mad at me," Shepard said as she stood.

Liara saw the anger in Shepard and knew that she was the cause of it. She wanted to touch Shepard, tell her that she was not mad at her … but she was afraid to. Earlier as she had watched _Pink Skin_ for the second time … watched the way that the human on the screen opened herself to Twylax and the way that she had let her touch her … desired Twylax to put her hand between her legs and enter her body … it made her look at Shepard who was sleeping next to her and wish that the Commander would accept her affection. To have Shepard beneath her, open to her, kissing her, wanting her inside her … Just the thought caused Liara to become aroused. It also made her see how the Commander was removed from her and even more from other asari. She wanted Shepard to see the beauty in her species … to see the grace, rich culture and wisdom. She wanted to be her lover … to have Shepard open up to her and let Liara please her, know her and … and this is where Liara became scared and confused. She did not know what she wanted beyond Shepard's body ... but she knew that it would not be enough. That she wanted more than just physical pleasure. But what did that mean? Why was that not enough?

* * *

><p>Sibila had arrived at the terminal alone while Ipomona finished preparing the Lavender Suite. As she watched the passengers begin exiting the shuttle she started to worry when she did not see her cousin or a human exit right away … <em>Li-Li, if you missed this shuttle<em>, she started but then … Liara appeared, second to last passenger and Sibila could see that her cousin was not pleased. At the sight of the human that followed, she knew that she would never understand her cousin's pickiness. The human was quite attractive and Liara should have been happy to be with her, to have others think they were together at the least. _Well, if you do not want her_, Sibila thought as she began to walk towards them. _I will seduce her and enjoy her beauty_.

Liara turned to Shepard and told her that she would check them through customs and Shepard nodded as she headed for their luggage. Sibila watched as Liara headed in one direction and Shepard in another … _Hmm_, she smiled, as she followed Shepard. _She should not be left alone_, she told herself. _Li-Li would want me to keep her company_.

Shepard was watching as the luggage from the flight was being unloaded and handed off to the staff of the hotel. As Shepard watched all the activity she was amazed at the design of the port … it appeared to be made of glass, like the hotel, and as she looked below her feet she saw the brightly colored world beneath her … it reminded her of pictures she once saw of the coral reef. Except these creatures were even brighter and bigger and … alien. They seemed to conflict with the ice world above them. Then she saw young asari greeting some of the passengers and the way the asari seem to speak less to each other, instead using looks and touch … it fascinated her. Then there was the sounds … the water lapping against the floor, an occasional bump as a creature beneath them touched the bottom of the floor, the ice rain falling against the curved ceiling of glass, the slight murmur of voices, the movement of the luggage, the music of some asari composer piped in … There was a peace in the terminal, a beauty and Shepard watched as everything around her seemed to move in sync with each other.

"Admiring the view? Or someone in particular?" She heard someone ask behind her.

Shepard turned around to say that she was checking on her luggage when she saw her ... It was the asari that she had met on Illium thirteen years prior … There was no mistake. And as if she knee-jerked with her tongue, asked, "Do you live in ports?"

"What an odd thing to ask," Sibila smiled, looking at Shepard's lips. "Or is that a new word game? How do we play? Are clothes optional?"

"What?" Shepard asked as her throat seemed to close up and she felt sixteen again. Now there was no mistaking that this was the same asari on Illium.

Sibila smiled at her, looked down at her breasts and moved closer, "I find delight in your curves."

"Siby?" Shepard heard Liara ask from the left side and then the asari's attention was off her and hugging Liara as they started to talk in a language that Shepard did not understand.

"_The Councilor did not say you were going to be here_," Liara said in the old language of Armali.

"_Mother sent me_," Sibila smiled. "_I was so happy to hear that we would be spending the Chaironton Festival together … Aika was also excited to hear that we would be here together with her this year … She has us on the list for her celebrations and parties and looks forward to seeing you the most … if only mother had not made me come with Ipomona_."

"_Ipa is here too_?" Liara smiled, looking around.

"_Ugh_," Sibila was always amazed at how Liara liked her so much. "_Yes … she is back at the hotel preparing for you and …_" Sibila looked at Shepard, "_my future lover_."

"Shepard?" Liara, in her excitement of seeing her cousin, had forgotten the Commander for a moment, but now … she pulled Sibila away from Shepard. "_Please remember that she is here as my companion, Siby_."

"_In public_," Sibila looked over at the Commander and smiled. "_But in private she can be mine … I can see that she displeases you. A human ... So if I take her off your hands ... this should make you happy_."

Liara looked at Shepard and shook her head, "_Siby … no. Even in privacy she is to be my companion only … Shepard does not … she has a human lover._"

"_A human lover_?" Sibila laughed. "_Then she has yet to experience true pleasure … She will understand why we are known as gifted in touch_."

Liara stopped her cousin, "_Siby! Promise me that you will not try and seduce her_."

"Li-Li!" Sibila begged. "_I have never had a human soldier … and she has a look that is very inviting_."

Liara grabbed her cousin by the arm, pulled her close and angrily said, "_You are to treat her as my companion at all times, Sibila T'Soni .._._ at all times._"

Sibila looked at Liara, caught off-guard by her anger … then looked at Shepard and back to Liara, "_Fine. I will treat her as your companion … at all times ... Does that please you_?"

Liara smiled, her anger gone, kissed Sibila on the lips and said, "_Thank you, cousin._"

Sibila gave her a hug back, "_I have always loved your smile, Li-Li. Please forgive me for angering you."_

"_It is I that should ask for forgiveness," _Liara hugged her back. _"You are my dearest."_

"_As you are mine," _Sibila smiled as she pulled away and looked at Shepard, "_Now introduce me to your ... companion."_

"_You have met her before, cousin_," Liara said, as they began walking back to Shepard.

"_Have I_?" Sibila smiled at the human, "_And I did not seduce her then? Before you claimed her_?"

"_Do you remember that human that you once told me about?_" Liara asked, looking at Shepard. "_The one that asked about EtZev_?"

"That was you?" Sibila asked, speaking in Anglish to Shepard, just three feet away.

"Me?" Shepard asked, completely lost. She had watched Liara come alive in a new way with this asari and it bothered her. The closeness, the childlike joy and then the way that they touched … kissed. Shepard had felt angry for a second and then told herself that she was glad that Liara had someone here at the hotel. Yes … Shepard would be happy that Liara had someone to bring a smile to her face while on Quana. After all, she was failing in that area so far. But she also thought she saw a flash of anger in Liara … It was a brief moment … gone as quickly as it had appeared. But Shepard was sure that she had seen it. As Liara and her cousin spoke in a language that she did not understand, she understood how her father felt when it was her and her mother speaking French. _Payback is a bitch_, Shepard told herself.

Sibila looked Shepard up and down, and then said in the Armali tongue again to Liara, "_She has become beautiful with time … I am looking forward to seeing her in another thirteen. Maybe then I may bring her into me?_"

"Shepard, this is my cousin, Sibila," Liara said, ignoring her cousin's comments and reverting back to the asari language that Shepard's translator understood.

"Your cousin?" Shepard looked at Liara, then at Sibila … _You sure I can't introduce you to my cousin, you might like her. She isn't into humans but I think that she might find you interesting ... _The words of the asari returning from thirteen years ago. Shepard looked at Liara, "This was the asari I told you about in the Illium port … And you were the cousin with her that day? The one she said that loved EtZev?"

Liara nodded, as Sibila lit up, "You remember me?"

Now it was Shepard's turn to nod. But she did not add that Sibila was also the start of Shepard's fear and distrust of the asari. Before that she was just unimpressed as the boys went on and on about this _blue slutty girl race_. No, there was no reason to tell this to Sibila so Shepard smiled, "You were the first asari that I spoke to all those years ago."

"The first?" Sibila moved closer as Shepard took a step back. The dance between the two resumed from 2170.

"Liara," Shepard moved closer to her, "can we go to our suite? I would like to change and check my mail?"

"Yes," Liara answered, as their luggage was already on its way to the Lavender Suite.

"Nice to have met you," Shepard said, ready to get away from the asari.

"And you," Sibila said, draping her arm through Liara's, "We are going to have such a celebration while here together!"

As Liara and Sibila returned to speaking in their Armali language, Shepard kept expecting the asari to say goodbye at some point … was praying that she would say goodbye soon. But she was with them in the private VIP lobby, on the elevator, walking down the hall and even into the Lavender Suite. The luggage had beaten them there as Shepard suspected it would and was being taken into the larger of the bedrooms by Ipomona. Shepard couldn't help but notice luggage already in the other room and that both she and Liara's were taken into the master suite. She followed her luggage and stood looking at the bed and both luggage at the foot of it as Liara greeted the second asari in the doorway.

As Liara let go of Ipomona, she saw Shepard looking at the bed and asked for privacy. As the door closed behind her, Liara walked over to Shepard, "The staff must believe that we are sharing this bed … humans do this as well?"

"Share a bed?" Shepard looked at Liara, "Of course … Well, most do. There are couples that don't for different reasons. I just thought …" Shepard stopped, no use saying something that might dig her farther into a hole.

Liara picked up one of her bags and placed it on the bed, "Shepard, I need to tell you something."

The serious tone in Liara's voice made her ask, "Are you still mad at me?"

"No," Liara sat on the bed, holding something in her hand. "Are you angry at me?"

Shepard looked down at Liara and smiled, "I'm not angry … Unless you say that your cousin is sleeping with us."

"Siby?" she gave a small giggle. "She and Ipo will be staying in the other room … I will be sleeping in there as well."

"All three?" Shepard looked at her king-size bed and even though she was glad to be sleeping alone, teased, "Don't trust me?"

"No, Shepard," Liara stood up, not realizing it was a joke. "I prefer to sleep with my family … that does not offend you, I hope."

Shepard smiled back, "No ... Now what did you want to tell me?"

Liara walked over to Shepard, took her right hand, turned it palm side up and placed Hannah Shepard's silver bracelet with the little cross in it. "This belongs with you."

Shepard looked at the cross and then at Liara, "I'm sorry … I don't understand. Are you telling me you are a Christian? Or that you know I am?"

Liara had hoped that Shepard would recognize the bracelet that had belonged to her mother and shook her head. "No Shepard," she answered, "the day you met my cousin … I met your parents. This was a gift from your mother."

Shepard looked at the silver bracelet again, "Mother's? You met her?"

As Shepard sat on the bed, looking at the cross, Liara told Shepard how they met and about her father drinking the kaffee. She had considered keeping that part out but decided it was better to not have any secrets … at least, not about Shepard's parents. As Liara told about that meeting, Shepard laughed and also had moments of tearing up. "Your parents were kind to me … and I admired your mother."

Shepard, with watery eyes, smiled up at Liara, "You met the most beautiful person in my life."

"She was the first human that showed me that your kind had promise," Liara said to Shepard.

Shepard wiped her eyes, stood up and squeezed Liara's hand, "Thank you for telling me."

As Shepard walked away and stood before the window, Liara asked, "You are not angry that I kept this from you?"

"Have you been keeping this inside since we met?" Shepard asked, still looking out the window as she clutched the bracelet.

"No," she answered, "It was only when I saw her in your home that I knew."

"The dinner," Shepard said, "Of course."

"I should have told you then," Liara moved halfway to Shepard.

"No," Shepard thought of the information she had on the Matriarch … information told to her by Shiala. "Sometimes knowing doesn't mean we need to share … sometimes we have to wait for the perfect time. Sometimes we let it stay buried because it would cause more harm than good."

Liara could see that Shepard was thinking of something more than the bracelet and moved two steps closer, "How do you know the difference? When to share and when to withhold, Shepard."

Shepard could be heard to give a bitter laugh, "I don't always know what to do, Liara."

Liara could see that Shepard was going to a dark place and she reached out to her, "You know that I would help you … if you asked."

Shepard felt the cross with her thumb and index finger and smiled as she looked over at Liara, "Of course … You know, I didn't remember this bracelet … I gave it to her and yet I didn't remember it." Shepard looked down at the cross, "So many things forgotten. But now … looking at it … you reminding me ... I remember. It was shortly after my 15th birthday and we had went on an all-girls shopping spree in Savannah … That's a town on Earth. My mom, grandma, Aunt Mel and me spending the day together." Shepard looked out at the rain falling on the Midim'ah Lake and fought the tears. "The day was cool, perfect really and almost ending. We decided to end it at an open market when I saw it. I spent all my money to buy it … and a bit of Aunt Mel's," Shepard laughed at the memory.

"It must have pleased her," Liara said, standing next to Shepard.

Shepard turned to face her and pulled Liara's left wrist to her, "It did."

Liara looked down at her wrist as Shepard placed the bracelet on it, "No, Shepard."

"Yes, Liara," Shepard said, as she clasped it shut. "I put it on my mother's wrist that day and told her how much I loved her." Shepard looked into Liara's eyes. "She must have seen something special in you, Liara. Something that touched her and inspired her to give you this."

"But it should be yours," Liara said, feeling her own heart struggle in this moment.

"Mine?" Shepard shook her head, "No. She gave it to you and so it belongs to you. I would never go against my mother's wishes … and I agree with her. There is something special about you."

Liara, feeling a small tear in her emotional wall and a pain, turned away from Shepard and looked out the window. She placed her hand against her stomach and struggled to maintain her composure as she felt a disquiet and strangeness in her spirit ... in her very center. It demanded that she shut down or collapse.

"I haven't done something wrong, have I?" Shepard asked, seeing Liara go cold.

"No, Shepard," Liara said, not looking at her but touching the bracelet as she continued to press against her stomach. "I am honored."

Shepard wished that she understood Liara but there were so many times she could not figure her out. The asari didn't respond like a … _human, Shepard_? She heard herself say. _She isn't human, idiot … you might as well give up understanding her_. Shepard went to her luggage and after pulling out a change of clothes said to Liara's backside, "I'm going to shower and change … then I need to go shopping for dresses. Do you want to go with me or do you want to spend time with your family?"

_I want to be with you,_ Liara thought but said, "I will stay here with Siby and Ipa if you do not mind, Commander."

_Commander?_ Shepard thought. _I must have offended her_. "Okay."

As Shepard went into the bathroom, Liara broke down and began to cry as she fled from the room to seek privacy elsewhere.


	56. Waiting Game

"It was awfully kind of you to ask your cousin for supplies," Darren Reynolds said. "Even with ExoGeni's backing ... well, we'll need all the help we can get."

"It was nothing," Kaidan said as Greta Reynolds motioned for the children to get ready for bed.

It had been eight days since the Thorian had been ripped from the walls and almost four since Shepard had left for Quana. Kaidan and the crew had followed her orders and spent their time helping the colonists start to rebuild by fixing structures, cleaning out the debris and tending the fields. The ExoGeni employees had finally returned to the headquarters and their own living areas with Diouf and a few Marines escorting them. Kaidan and Pressly knew that Lizbeth Baynham was the reason Lt. Edouard Diouf suggested an escort for the employees in the first place.

"Darren," Greta said, "why don't you offer the Lieutenant a nightcap as I get the children to bed? Gail, start the dishes."

"Of course," Darren looked at Kaidan who said thanks but declined.

"What will you do with the orphaned children?" Kaidan asked as the oldest daughter started removing the dirty plates from the dinner table across the room.

"If they aren't claimed by their family back on Earth then we'll raise them as our own," Darren answered, "Their parents brought them here to start over … many leaving a life of hardship that even the Thorian couldn't compare to ... Well, no. Nothing could compare to that pain but …"

"I understand what you mean," Kaidan said, standing up to help the young girl carry the dishes into the kitchen.

"Yeah," Darren rose and following Kaidan's example, helped his daughter as well. "So the community agreed that we would continue what their parents started if they have nowhere else to go."

Kaidan thought of the two-year-old they had found out in the corn field, and how he was that night ... cleaned, safe, fed and following Greta into the other room … This made him think again how only nine of the sixteen children had survived the gas ... which then led to the little boy that had died in his arms. Lonnie Reynolds. He was the Reynolds' youngest and only son. "So you are staying?"

"Yes," Darren said, his head motioning towards the direction of the graveyard, "Lonnie is here. I'm afraid that getting Greta to leave him would be almost impossible."

The two men helped the daughter until Greta reappeared and kicked them out of the kitchen ... but not before she thanked Kaidan for "inspiring my husband to help out a little."

As they returned to the living room, Kaidan thought of the little boy and felt his chest tighten. He had been having nightmares and when he thought of the little boy ... panic attacks were sometimes what followed. Images of the boy were up over the fireplace and Kaidan looked back at one image and said to his host, "Well, I thank you for the dinner. Please let Greta know that I really appreciate it and her amazing dinners."

Darren frowned, hating to see his guest leave, "I'll ... no, we will hate to see you and your team leave. If it had not been for you and the Commander ... I can't imagine what would have happened. I wish that you could stay."

"Well, it won't be for a while," Kaidan said, as he opened the front door. "With the Commander on a mission ... we will be here for at least another week."

"I'm glad," Darren smiled as he walked him out of the house.

_I'm not,_ Kaidan thought as he stepped out on to the porch and looked up at the night sky. _We should be with Shepard … protecting her._

* * *

><p>Wrex glanced up at the night sky as he cleared the woods and saw his makeshift camp that he shared with the requisition officer Addison Chase and Pvt. Alcot Satake. For three days he had kept himself busy … trying not to think about Shepard facing a Matriarch. He knew that humans were new to the galactic community and that they had no idea the power and wisdom an asari in her later years held. Shepard would be no match against her and he hoped that the Councilor had put safety nets in place. If not … he would see that all responsible parties were crushed.<p>

He would have fought to go with her but he knew that the Crystalis Resort did not allow his kind ... he also knew that Shepard would have rejected his escorting her as it might spoil the chance of success. As he looked up, he knew that the success lay in the lap of a young asari ... _Dr. T'Soni_, he growled. If Liara could bridge the gap between her mother and the Commander it might all work out ... and much quicker then he expected. If it didn't work then Shepard would not only have to kill the Matriarch but the maiden. Liara would not stand by if her mother was about to die ... Wrex knew that. He just hoped that Shepard understood that as well. So instead of protecting the pup, he had spent his time collecting weapons, armor and other items scattered about the battleground that could be sold.

After the day of "collections", as Chase called it, Wrex had taken a walk around the fields ... alone. Now as he returned to the camp, Chase was speaking with the salarian Inoste Ledra about selling the items that they had stockpiled. Chase looked up to Wrex and hoped that when they had stopped Saren, Wrex would stay with them. But he knew that in the end, the Krogan would leave and Chase would follow along. Chase's tour of duty was almost complete and Wrex had money making ideas that included their new blackmarket trading.

Satake was already in his sleeping bag, one leg sticking out, half empty bottle of Sweet & Sneaky next to him … snoring away. Satake reminded Wrex of the pyjaks on Tuchanka and because of that, the human both annoyed and comforted him. There was no talk of Satake following Wrex because both knew that without the structure of the Alliance ... Wrex would kill him. Without the Alliance, Satake would be killed by someone with his constant scheming and big talk. He was the guy in bars that would start a fight with his mouth only to be beaten up by the guy he tormented.

"I never thought I would be so thrilled to see a krogan," Ledra said, as Wrex approached the camp fire.

"I've never been thrilled to see a salarian," Wrex growled, taking a seat on a rock near the fire and looking up at the stars.

"So, what are your plans?" Chase asked, looking over at the sleeping Satake.

"I've decided to stay," Ledra answered, "Open up a general store with Hana Murakami … She can transport supplies from D'Ice on Quana."

"D'Ice?" Chase asked, sitting on the ground next to the fire, as the krogan looked over at the salarian.

"Oh … Donan Ice is the town outside Crystalis," Ledra answered, a little nervous under the krogan's attention. "It's called D'Ice by the locals and where the workers of the hotels, stores, businesses … live. There is also a fishing community there."

"Fishing?" Chase was surprised.

"Yes," Ledra answered. "Quana is home to the daliciae."

"I love daliciae," Chase said. "Best fish I ever tasted! Goes great with beer!"

"Do they allow krogan there now?" Wrex stood up and moved closer to the salarian.

"Uh," Ledra moved back, "Yes … one of the lead fishermen there is a krogan named Artur. He moved there about … oh … a decade ago?"

Wrex gave a low growl as he looked in the direction of Quana … the growl caused Satake to jerk his leg while sleeping and mumble "yes, mama."

"What are you thinking?" Chase asked, as he got up and went over to Satake and picked up the bottle of Sweet & Sneaky.

"We should go with Ledra and Hana," Wrex said, still looking at the night sky. "We could sell our goods."

"And?" Chase knew where this was going.

"Shepard," Wrex answered, looking at Chase.

Chase, taking a swig of the liquor, choked out, "Sounds good ... I think."

"I'm confused," Ledra said. "Isn't Shepard at Crystalis? How is travelling to D'Ice connected to Shepard?"

Wrex shook his body, ignored the salarian and sat next to the fire again.

Ledra looked over at Chase who just shrugged and offered the S&S liquor to him, "Nightcap?"

"But … he hasn't … answered …" Ledra looked at Wrex.

"And he won't," Chase shrugged. "Wrex is stubborn … Don't know if that's a krogan thing or a Wrex thing … but if he's done. He's done. And it looks like you will have passengers on the flight."

"Won't that Lt. Alenko need to approve?" Ledra asked.

"Kaidan?" Chase smirked. "He will probably join us ... Mark my words."

* * *

><p>He wasn't sure what was going on but he thought he heard his nose break and then he was on his stomach. His face landing hard against the mat as his opponent was pushed back to her corner ... <em>Shit!<em> Engineer Hector Emerson felt his mind fading fast.

"One! Two! Three! Fou.." he heard someone counting and then the sound of a bell.

_Saved by the bell!_ He groggily thought to himself as he felt himself being picked up off the floor and carried over to his stool ... Plopping down on it, his mouthpiece pulled out, water splashed on his face and then into his mouth … _How did I end up here?_ Emerson couldn't remember … _Oh, wait! That asari! _He looked over at his opponent and was confused. Chief Williams didn't like the asari, everyone knew that! So what was her problem?

Ashley had just spit out the water into the bucket when Mancini patted her face, "Good job! You had him there Willy! Now … go back in there and drive him into the ground! Then we can collect the monies and go home!" As he removed the towel he could see her glaring at him. "Sorry Chief!" he quickly disappeared with the towel in hand as Helen Lowe finished massaging her shoulders.

Ashley looked across the ring at Emerson who had been telling some of the guys that the asari, Dr. T'Soni, was probably not only hot for Shepard but for any of them … After all, he had winked, _you know how the asari are ... shit, she would sleep with any of us ... any of us!_ These words had found their way to Ashley and she had given him a choice; Meet with the Commander and tell her what he had been telling others or meet her in the ring. He didn't like either choice. "C'mon, Chief," he had said to her. "You know how the asari are … If Dr. Chakwas hadn't kept her in the lab or the Lt. under his wing, she would have …" Now as he was being pushed up off his stool, the Chief moving towards him with her gloved fists raised … he wished that he had kept his big mouth shut!

* * *

><p>"Are you hiding?" Silas Crosby asked Joker, who was sitting quietly in his quarters with earbuds in.<p>

"What?" Joker jumped as Silas moved closer and tapped him on his shoulder.

As Joker removed the earbuds, Silas repeated, "Are you hiding?"

"Hiding?" Joker rubbed his leg, "No … I'm just med-meditating."

"Uh-huh," Silas said. "I hear that Ash is pummeling poor Hector. Once she is done with him she is bound to ask where the rumors of that asari liking the Commander came from."

"Shit!" Joker took off his cap and rubbed his head, "I just said that this mission would be harder on the Commander than the doctor … nothing more."

"Yeah, well," Silas laughed, "If the Chief hears that Hector was hanging out with you yesterday …" Silas whistled and flattened his hand to imitate a plane crashing.

"It's not my fault," Joker stopped as they heard the quarian knocking on Kaidan's door.

"The Lt. isn't here," Silas said, looking out into the passageway at her.

"Oh," Tali looked at the datapad in her hand, "Do you know when he will be back?"

"Couldn't say," Silas answered. "Can I give him a message?"

"Just tell him that I have found a message hidden in the ExoGeni COO's files," she answered. "He had a communication from one of the doctors."

"And?" Silas asked.

Tali wasn't sure if she should tell him, but … "His communication notes that samples of a plant that ExoGeni had were provided to a company called …" Tali touched the datapad, "… Cerberus."

"Samples?" Joker called from his chair.

"I think they may have sent that company samples of the Thorian," Tali came to his door and looked in. "The Commander will want to know this … if a company is growing another one of these …"

"You don't think that there could be more?" Silas asked, looking worried. "Did you see what it was doing to humans? What it could do to any of us?"

"Shit!" Joker said, "Pressly needs to be told about this … not the biotic boy."

"Yeah," Silas looked at Joker and then back at Tali, "Let's go see Pressly, quarian."

"Tali," she said in a firm voice. "My name is Tali!"

"Right," Silas looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Tali."

"Close the door behind you," Joker called out, as Silas walked out.

Silas popped his head back in, "You better hope that the Chief knocks his teeth out so he can't say _Joker shot first_."

"Ha, ha," Joker shook his head as the door closed. He wasn't as worried about Ashley as he was about the Commander … she would not be happy that he had talked out of turn. As he slowly got up and moved to lock his door he thought of her smile … and he smiled. A few minutes later found him wearing nothing but briefs, lying on top of his bed, putting in his earbuds again. He did not want anyone ... ANYONE ... to hear what he was listening to. Over and over. A singer from ages past … Jewel … singing _Foolish Games_. The tune was the type that he would have in the past cringed at. Gagged at. Thrown his iMuse out the window over. Some chick moaning about tortured love. But now … _Dammit Shepard_, Joker closed his eyes as he saw her in his mind standing on the bridge. _You better make it back safe_.

* * *

><p>Garrus had enjoyed the past few days as he helped round up the scattered livestock. Hollis Blake had taken him out to locate and bring back the horses and this was a dream to him. A dream that quickly moved to heaven when he saw the American Quarter Horse standing up on a hill. Had he been alone he might have shed a few tears at the vision of the creature but having others around did not keep his hand from shaking as he was finally able to touch it. Touching the mane made him think of all those westerns that he had read and watched. The Duke. And then he wished that Shepard had been there so that she could teach him how to properly saddle and ride it. She had never told him that she rode horses, but he had automatically assumed that she would know.<p>

He admired the Commander and with her gone realized how her presence was what gave the Normandy its light. Without her there, it all seemed dull and somehow empty … and in preparation of her returning he was learning a new song with the help of Hollis Blake ... _Branded Man_. Here on the front porch of the Blake's home as Calantha cleared the dinner table, Hollis and Garrus played music together … Hollis with his guitar and Garrus with his Martin. Hollis was helping him learn the song and had also introduced the turian to other music artists that he had never heard. As he worked on the chords he could hear the Quarter Horse, Cooper, neigh and it made his mandibles lift a little in response. He really wished that Shepard would return soon so she could teach him to ride. He would ask Hollis but his pride … his turian pride ... stood in the way.

* * *

><p>Liara dropped her towel and gave a small prayer to Athame before she waded into the Thessian pool that was in the exclusive alneu that Aika had built in her hotel. The alnea was beautiful with its Thessian stone floors and to highlight the sea underneath the pool's floor was made of a Thessian glass. As the two cousins sat in the pool, they could see the sea creatures beneath them through the clear water and floor. Sibila loved to look at the view beneath her while Liara was never fully comfortable with it. So as she sat on a higher step, Sibila preferred to sit closer to the bottom.<p>

"Do you think that your toy," Sibila teased, "… I mean … your lover will ever come out and play? All she seems to be doing is sleeping, reading and playing that game … Couper fray? … with Ipa."

"I think she called the game Mille-Borne," Liara smiled as she could hear the Commander cry out like a little girl … _coup-fourré_! She loved it when Shepard was in good spirits and there were moments during Shepard's playfulness that Liara felt that pain in her center, causing her to leave the room and try and catch her breath. Looking at Shepard hurt at times and she wanted to ask her mother why. The Commander had not left the suite after her first day of dress shopping as she spent a great portion sleeping or curled up on the couch reading. Liara had spoken with Dr. Chakwas about Shepard's health and so she knew that the Commander was in pain and that her body neeeded rest. So she did not push Shepard to leave the suite and when the Commander slept for half a day she was glad. Glad that the Commander was allowing her body to heal and unbeknownst to Shepard, Liara would check in every few hours and make sure that she was okay.

"I have a game I would love to play with her," Sibila laughed. "But if she keeps being so bo-r-ing … I may let you keep her."

"Siby," Liara gave a disapproving look at her as she splashed water at her. "You promised." Shepard's physical state had given Liara more time to spend with her cousin and while she was happy to be with Sibila ... She found her thoughts constantly shifting to her mother. Sibila had informed her on the day that she had arrived that the Matriarch was already staying at the hotel. Liara was grateful that this was shared with her away from Shepard and she had told Sibila to keep this information from the Commander. She wanted time to speak with the Matriarch before Shepard met her. Liara had sent a gift basket and card that had Liara requesting a visit with her mother. Benezia still had not extended an audience after three days and until that invitation was issued … all Liara could do was wait.

"Yes, I promised," Sibila smiled up at her and then leaned her head back in the water as she asked about the Matriarch. "Did the Matriarch see you this morning? It has been three days."

Liara shook her head as she dropped a handful of vapim stones into the water, "Mother has many responsibilities …" She started as she remembered stopping by the White Rose Suite yet again and being greeted by another asari she did not recognize and who had turned her away. Liara wondered why she had not seen any of the acolytes or commandoes that she had known. She thought of Shiala and hoped that she would see her soon. Not only because she had missed her conversations but she also believed that as long as her mother had Shiala with her … the Matriarch would still be safe.

"Li-Li," Sibila moved closer to Liara and whispered, "You know that Theia will see you soon … Just enjoy being here with me! Me and your soldier girl ... oh," Sibila rolled her eyes, "… and Ipa."

Liara looked at her cousin, reached down and touched her cheek, "Thank you, cousin." But despite the smile, Liara was still frustrated that she was once again kept from the Matriarch … kept away from her mother. And by strangers.

"Speaking of Ipa," Sibila said as Liara began to wet her face, "I see that she is not immune to the Commander."

"What?" Liara stopped scooping as she narrowed her eyes.

"I heard mother and Antonina discussing how Ipa should be mating," Sibila said, looking over at an asari who was smiling back. "You know that she is at that age … Soldier girl would be an interesting mate. She also seems to like Ipa … hmmm, mating with the Commander. Maybe they are melding this very moment."

Liara thought how Shepard did seem to enjoy time with the matron … she had even returned to the Lavender Suite that morning and found Ipa teaching the rules of the asari tile game Wisp to the Commander and she felt anger. "Shepard does not desire Ipa ... Do not say that. And Ipa does not desire humans."

Sibila looked at her cousin and saw a flash of emotion that was not usual. A seriousness. A focus. An anger. This was not the first time that her cousin seemed different. Sibila could always read her cousin … but not lately. She had thought this was due to the Matriarch but as the days went by she started to realize that these sparks were always when Shepard was the subject matter ... or the cause. "I am sure that you are right."

Liara no longer wanted to relax in the pool but return to Shepard. She began to imagine Shepard and Ipa together and she quickly rose from the step and told Sibila that she was tired and returning to the Lavender Suite. "But we have just arrived."

"I am tired," she answered, grabbing her towel and moving swiftly to the dressing area as the image of Ipa touching Shepard got stronger.

Sibila watched her cousin rush out and smiled.


	57. Wisp & Unknown Tongues

The Lavender Suite was quiet except for the sound of the asari soprano, Glykeria, singing _yητέρα_. Shepard thought the singer's voice was beautiful and even though she didn't understand what she was singing, it was very relaxing. Not understanding words was becoming the norm for Shepard. For the past three days there were numerous times that she was lost as Liara, Sibila and Ipomona slipped into their primary language from Armali. Even the hotel staff seemed to slip into asari tongues that her translator failed to recognize. Just that morning, the three asari had talked at length in their unknown tongue, as she sat away from them reading _Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil_. As she fell into Savannah and murder ... she could hear the three in the background. When she would hear laughter she wondered what she had missed and hoped that they weren't talking about her. Ipomona had finally looked over at Shepard and realized that the human was being shut out from the discussion, so she changed back to the dialect that Shepard could understand. Liara heard Ipomona change back to the standard galactic Thessian language and seeing Ipa looking at Shepard had realized why. This resulted in her feeling not only embarrassed but slightly angry at herself ... angry at herself and a slight anger at Ipa for making her see her failure to be more considerate of the Commander.

Had Shepard understood the three phases of the asari … this would have highlighted to her how a matron was more aware and thoughtful than maidens, who tended to be more self-centered. Not that a maiden was not kind or considerate. They just had not reached the part of their maturation that included being empathetic and altruistic. Liara realized it and wished that she was not so young ... that she could be more like Ipa and less like Siby. This wish was increased as Ipomona's daily actions around the Commander only confirmed that she was young and had so much more to learn … and it frustrated and even angered her at times.

When Liara and Sibila had announced that they were heading for the alnea, Ipomona and Shepard had once again passed. Ipomona's decision to not join them made Sibila happy but Shepard's quick refusal made Liara unhappy. Seeing the Commander spend time with the older asari made her feel slightly threatened. If Shepard compared her against the matron, Liara worried that the Commander would realize just how inadequate and inexperienced she was. She knew that Shepard was still healing so she was understanding when she declined but she would have preferred Ipa to come with them.

Like Liara, Ipomona was not your typical asari seen outside of asari space. She was modest in nature and was not comfortable in large crowds. She preferred to be with family in Armali and when she was asked to escort Sibila to the resort she had initially tried to get out of it. But after her mother's daer, Tatiaria, explained why she needed her there and that it was for the safety of Liara … here she was. Ipomona had never desired anyone in her life and had expected it to stay that way until she died … but life had a different plan. She found herself deeply moved and desirous of … Liara T'Soni. Her whole being wanted the much younger asari but she was too afraid to reveal how she felt. The attraction itself had caught her by surprise as she had known Liara since infancy. But just six years prior at Liara's 100th birthday celebration, it was as if she was seeing her for the very first time. She had watched Liara dance, laugh and kiss those around her with new eyes and found that the asari had awakened her need to be touched. But she kept how she felt buried … buried deep because she knew that Liara would have quickly rejected her. And she knew that the Matriarch and Tatiaria would also not have approved of the union.

Liara did not really understand what was Shepard's reason to decline ... She not only did not like the idea of being surrounded by naked asari but also knew that her body was so damaged and scarred … it was certainly not meant to be paraded around naked. So she had thought of the roomful of naked asari and the damage that the krogan had inflicted on her right side along with all the battle scars from times past and declined.

Both Ipomona and Shepard used the asari game Wisp as their reason.

Wisp was less a game and more a form of story-telling … The center tile was always the image of the Goddess Athame with the planet Thessia behind her. The four layouts that grew from that tile represented the four cornerstones of the asari life … mother, family, passion and pleasure. The player placed the tiles based on what the previous tile was so that when all 168 tiles total were on the board … 42 on each layout with the exception of 41 only on the pleasure layout ... the complete layout told a story. Shepard had watched the three asari play it the day prior and when the tiles were all placed, they had spent hours reading and interpreting what the story was that they had created together. It had fascinated Shepard how this was a game of emotion and creation instead of logic and mathematics. It could take hours before all the tiles were placed as the goal was to place the tiles in such a way that the finished complete layout, or mosaic if you will, was not only beautiful but that the story was close to _perfection_.

Liara and Sibila had left as Ipomona continued to patiently teach Shepard how to play ... Well, Ipa was trying to teach Shepard who was still not understanding it completely. She was now looking at the 55 tiles still in front of her, looking at the different images … and knew that this was not like any other game or puzzle she had played. It wasn't a game at all. Shepard knew that this was asari emotion and story-telling at its finest and she was not asari. When Ipa told her that it could take years for asari to master it she understood why. But now hours after trying to understand, Shepard had a headache and she really wanted a drink.

"Ipa," Shepard rubbed her temples, "can we stop? I'm sorry … but I'm tired and hungry … and to be honest, I just can't get this game. I'm afraid that my human wiring is not designed for this."

"Of course," Ipa smiled. She had just been pleased that the human had even shown an interest in trying to understand it. She knew that Shepard would not grasp it but she would never have said it … offending the human was the last thing she wanted to do. Shepard was always polite, soft spoken and seemed to care about Liara's welfare … three things that Ipa liked.

"Thank you," Shepard stood and looked over at the liquor cabinet. She really did want a drink but had refused to take any painkillers or alcohol for the past two days … her pain now down to a dull throb and her head starting to clear. She had told herself that she would not have a glass of whiskey until she was able to breathe deeply without pain.

"Do you want me to order our meals now?" Ipa asked, standing herself and looking at the time.

"Please," Shepard smiled as she walked over to the floor to ceiling window. It was close to the water and fire show on the lake that the Aikaterine held every night to celebrate the festival. The first night they were there, Liara had explained how the show was in honor of a dance called the nectpir that was performed traditionally by the Matriarchs. Shepard was quickly learning that the asari loved anything that took years ... no scatch that ... centuries to master. The longer to master ... the better.

"I was afraid that you would suggest we wait," Ipa smiled as she headed for the hotel comm. "What would you like?"

Shepard, looking out at the moving lights attached to the iceboats out on Midim'ah Lake, answered, "Manitaro with cilrag … and a bottle of that honey mead you were talking about yesterday."

"Mellyn?" Ipa looked at Shepard. "You will love it! It is brewed at a monastery."

"You have monasteries?" Shepard asked, the show just starting off in the distance.

Ipa had no desire to discuss the ardat-yakshis and just nodded as she called down to the kitchen. As the meals were ordered, Shepard wondered what her crew was doing and hoped that everything was going well. She missed them. Missed the Normandy. And as her body recovered she was finding her energy slowly returning … and with it her frustration at not being any closer to Saren. Liara had told her that there had been no contact from the Matriarch yet and Sibila had added that once the Matriarch had arrived to the hotel the meeting would happen immediately. Shepard thought she had caught deception in the voice and the way that Liara had looked at her cousin only added to her distrust … but she just pushed it off as a side-effect of the medication she was on. Now as she looked out at the water and fire show on the ice she began to wonder again if she was being deceived.

"Do you want a drink?" Ipa asked as she poured herself a glass of ice water.

Shepard looked over at her and shook her head, "No thanks … I'll wait until dinner. But may I ask you something?"

"Of course," Ipa answered, walking over to Shepard.

"Are you married?"

"Married?" Ipa had not heard that word before.

"Do you have a mate?" Shepard asked.

"A daer?" Ipa shook her head. "But I must tell you that I am not interested in humans."

This made Shepard laugh and like Ipa even more, "I'm glad! I am not interested in asari so we are perfect together."

Ipa looked a little perplexed at why that would make them perfect together but asked instead … "You do not find Liara pleasing?"

"Liara?" Shepard thought of her that day in her home. That moment when she ignored a question by Shepard and turned on the blender … She didn't know why that memory came back to her so clear but it made her smile. "Liara has her moments ... But no. I am not attracted to her."

Ipa remembered Liara at her birthday celebration and said, "That is good. To desire her … to want more than a brief time with her is to ask for pain. Liara is still too young for a ..."

"Relationship?" Shepard looked at Ipa and realized that she was in love or whatever the asari called it with Liara and for a second she felt jealousy. She thought of Liara in her kitchen and then touching someone else and her jaw clenched. Clenched and then it was gone and Shepard said, "You like her … don't you?"

Ipa turned away from Shepard and shook her head, "I am not acceptable for Liara ... and we are in different places in our lives."

"You are perfect," Shepard said. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"No, Shepard," Ipa answered, still facing away from her. "In our society … I could never be with Liara."

Shepard looked at the back of the asari and felt sorry for her. While she did not understand why she was not acceptable … she had always understood that it was not her place to judge other species or customs or differences. But the sound of a heart breaking … Shepard touched Ipa's arm and as she turned around to face her said, "I think that you are one of the kindest and exceptionally patient …" Shepard motioned to the Wisp tiles, "… asari that I have ever met. Liara will need someone with these traits … I'm sorry if you are not allowed a chance to at least try and win her heart."

Ipa smiled, "I can only hope that in time … if I could do something to deserve her. Or if things change ... no. That would never happen."

_Time_. Shepard knew that Ipa could still be around in five, six, hell ... _ten_ _centuries_ and so could Liara. Shepard waited for Ipa to take another drink and decided to change the subject, "What is the Matriarch and Liara's relationship like?"

"That is a question for Liara," Ipa answered.

Shepard's mind kept going back to what Shiala had told her about indoctrination and she knew that the Matriarch may be past the point of saving. "I would but … I need to understand the Matriarch."

"Understand a Matriarch?" Ipa looked at her and shook her head. "Only a Matriarch could you tell you that … and even if I could … I am not at liberty to discuss the Matriarch with an outsider in a familiar way."

"I'm sorry," Shepard knew that she was being out of line and she really did like Ipa. The last thing she wanted to do was offend her. "I'm just concerned that if this meeting goes wrong … well, I'm worried about Liara."

"Of course," Ipa looked at the ice in her glass. "Without discussing the Matriarch … Our mothers are what keep us as daughters centered. This … connection is critical to our development."

"Critical?" Shepard thought of her own mother.

"Yes," Ipa answered. "Even more so at Liara's age ... she is so young."

Shepard couldn't help but give a small laugh, "At 106 years old … Liara is close to four times my age."

"How young are you?" Ipa asked.

"I'm only 29 years old," Shepard answered, almost embarrassed at the lack of years.

Ipa at 370 was tempted to tell Shepard that she was almost thirteen times her age but said instead, "Liara is still quite young for our kind, Shepard."

Shepard laughed, "And I am?"

"Quite interesting," Ipa laughed as well.

Shepard rubbed her ribs, "When you said critical … what did you mean?"

"Young asari such as Liara," Ipa answered, careful in her response, "will need their mother to help grow and develop into the next phase of their life. Without it the asari could become perverted or lost to darkness."

Shepard looked out at the night ... fire dancing out on the lake ... and thought of how she had needed her own mother as she moved from her teenage years into her twenties … and how even now she needed her. She thought of the _Dander Night_ and her own darkness of spirit and did not want Liara to follow her. She had seen the asari giggle and play games and hug and love these past few days, thanks to the asari that intimidated her. She had seen a side of Liara that had pleased her and those moments had made suffering Sibila almost worth it. Despite her lack of trust for Liara, she cared about her. What Shiala had told her was gnawing at her very soul and she knew that no matter how hard she hoped … this was not going to end well. "Ipa, if the Matriarch were to die? If Liara was left on her own ... without her mother?"

Ipa moved closer to Shepard, "You might as well kill Liara with her ... and if Liara is there you would have to. I do not know how humans feel about their mothers but … we asari would protect our mothers without question. Even to the death."

"As I would have with mine," Shepard answered, knowing that if she failed when meeting the Matriarch … all would be lost. She thought of how losing her parents had resulted in her running but she did not know what it would mean for Liara. And she was beginning to understand that this was much more than the emotional lost she felt. It was even deeper with the asari ... the consequences more severe. So Shepard pushed. "But if … if the Matriarch was to die and Liara live … what would that mean? What would she need to survive it? To heal?"

Ipa could see that the human was struggling and that there was more to this question, so she answered, "If that were to happen … she would need to be united in mind with Tatiaria ... her Theia."

"United in mind?" Shepard looked confused. "I don't understand what that means."

Ipa could see that she had confused her and just answered simply, "Liara would need to be with the Matriarch's sister… Liara would need Tatiaria to help her survive this … this separation."

_Separation …_ Shepard thought of that word and knew that Ipomona was trying to soften what they were truly discussing. "And her Theia is where?"

"Armali," Ipa answered. "You would need to get her to Armali ... but if the Matriarch were to die by your hand then it would be advisable for you to send someone else with Liara ... Tatiaria would kill you. She worships her sister."

Shepard nodded, "Well, I hope that this doesn't end with death ... That this ends happily."

"For the sake of everyone so do I," Ipa answered as Shepard turned back to the show as Expel 10's _Erotic Flame_ began to play.

As the two watched the show out the window, Liara entered nervous and angry … she was afraid that she would find them in a compromising position thanks to her cousin. Instead she found them standing a few steps from each other at the window, swaying to the music and oohing and aahing over the show. She felt her anger start to subside as she moved closer to the two and asked, "Am I missing the show?"

"You're back?" Shepard asked, turning around to see Liara stepping next to Ipomona. "That was a short dip in the pool."

"I … I …" Liara did not know what to say.

"Where is Sibila?" Ipa asked, looking towards the door as Liara brushed her arm and Shepard felt her jaw clench.

Liara looked at Ipa and was grateful for a question that she could answer truthfully, "She will be up later ... I think that she saw someone that pleased her. Have you stopped playing Wisp?"

Now it was Shepard's turn to not want to answer the question, "Well … I … uh … I …"

"We were hungry," Ipa cut in as she smiled at Shepard.

Liara watched as Shepard smiled at Ipa and then turned back towards the window and the show. Liara moved next to her and as she looked out, Shepard looked over at her wrist … over at her mother's bracelet ... and touched the cross.

Liara loved it when Shepard paid that kind of attention to her ... when she reached out to her. Even if it was just to touch the bracelet. "You are looking better," Liara said, looking away from the show and at her.

"I'm feeling better," Shepard smiled up at her. "So much so … that tomorrow I am escaping this suite and venturing forth."

"Are you?" Liara asked, wishing that it included her.

"Uh huh," Shepard let go of the cross. "But I'm not going out alone … or at least I hope not. Will you escort me to a place of imbibing in the evening?"

"Yes," Liara smiled.

"Good!" Shepard grinned, just as the food arrived. "Be ready at seven-ish?"

Liara watched as Shepard went to the dining area and just as Ipa opened the lids off the trays, she asked, "Shepard? What is imbibing?"

"What?" Shepard picked up a napkin. "Oh … it means drinking."

Liara smiled as Ipa began pouring all three glasses of the honey mead and Shepard pulled an extra plate and shared her meal with her.


	58. A Prison Break & Asari Critique

It had been a good morning for Shepard as she reconnected with her own kind at the eight-star hotel Lowndes, located just a hotel away from the Aikaterine. She had tired of everything asari and needed to see her own people, taste her own food and hear her own language being spoken. It had been four days since she had seen anyone without a _Medusa head or blue scaly looking skin_, so she had risen early just so she could slip out without having to explain where she was going … or worse, having to tell Liara that she wanted to go out on her own. She was afraid that it would hurt the asari and if caught she would give in and invite Liara out with her. Not today. She would spend it the way she wanted. Period. So that Tuesday morning she was putting her prison break skills in use. _Well pops_, she had whispered as she tip-toed out of the suite, _here we go again … at least it's not mom and Sunday morning service at church. And let's hope that Liara doesn't have mom's look of disappointment when I get back … or I'm screwed. _

Once out of the Aikaterine and on the main pedway she looked up at the morning sky through the glass ceiling. It was going to be another ice rain day but with her body stronger she had lightness in her step. Moving away from the Aikaterine area, she began to see other humans walking the pedways and she couldn't help but smile. As she entered the Lowndes Hotel lobby, which was decorated with furniture from the Louis XV and Louis XVI periods, she was excited to be met by the concierge who greeted her in her mother's tongue. He was just as excited to discover that Commander Shepard spoke French fluently and welcomed her to use whatever services in the hotel that she wanted. He even extended the use of a suite to her during her stay but she had declined. Of course, she did tell him that she might take him up later as she expected to move out of the Lavender Suite once the mission was completed. The concierge refused to let her go without putting a room under a fictitious name and giving her the code to get in, "_Please Commander … it will be our secret_," he had said in French. "_Just in case you need a place for quiet … or for pleasure ... or both._"

Shepard then went to the Lowndes' restaurant called the Essex House and as the live combo named Macédoines performed _Sous La Lune_, Shepard had Crepes with salted butter caramel, vanilla Chantilly cream and sautéed apples for breakfast. This morning was not some asari dish that she had to adjust her taste buds to but real human food … and French to boot. _Can the day get any better?_ Shepard smiled as she listened to the song and tasted the vanilla Chantilly cream. _Nope_, _I don't think it can._

After finishing her meal and with coffee in hand … a laughing Shepard found herself up on the stage and singing _Chanson Simple_ for the room. As she sang the words of the song she began to think of Ricky and found that despite the pain of missing him she was happy. This happiness she attributed to her physical recovery, her freedom from the blue prison and being back with her own kind. Stepping off the stage, after thanking the crowd and the band, she decided to go shopping at the Hermés located inside the hotel for that night's date with Liara.

_Date?_ Shepard laughed at the thought and, shaking her head, she began to exit the restaurant ... Began to exit but stopped as the word _date_ kept coming back playfully to her mind. Shepard teasingly told herself that if she was going to pretend they were together then only the best would do. So she decided that her asari girlfriend would have to have a French meal at least once and reserved a table for them … _Tonight Miss T'Soni you will taste rustic roast duck and potatoes to start!_ Shepard smiled, as she also requested the table to be by the window. _Tonight I will make you love my mother's food._

Shepard then went to the boutique Hermés and purchased a black silk chiffon cocktail dress for that evening's date and on an impulse a one-piece bathing suit … she remembered the lap pool in the hotel and decided to swim a few laps before heading back to the world of blue. Instructing the shop to have the dress delivered to her hotel room at the Aikaterine, she left with the bathing suit to the pool. Once in the dressing area, she changed and headed to the pool as Flesh 9's _Sweet Dream_ was piped in.

As Shepard began to swim, she found her body still a little stiff and her energy in short supply. _Come on girl_, she told herself as she changed up from the crawl to the sidestroke. _I'm not gonna ask for sixty laps … just twenty. Work with me. Please._ But her body could only give her eleven and she only stopped when she began to drink the water as her body refused to work with her. Coughing up water and clinging to the side she felt angry at her failure … Angry that she had tired too quickly and that her body had revolted against her ... _I'm getting weak! I cannot survive in the field like this! _

But as she got out of the pool, she reminded herself that she had been down for eight days … _Hell, you need to be kinder to yourself … the body needs time to get back on track. To regain its strength and stamina. Calm down._ _You will be back in shape before you know it … even in better shape now that you've allowed your body to heal and rest. _Swimming four laps wasn't so bad when she remembered how she had felt just two days prior.

Lowndes Hotel also had a club called Jalouse that Shepard and Michelle had loved during their stay in Crystalis four years prior and as Shepard passed by she saw that a jazz singer she liked was playing there. So she contacted the concierge and reserved a table for two before heading back to the Aikaterine after being away for over six hours. Those hours spent in the hotel had also shown her how she was even more popular now that she had made SpecTRe. She had posed for pictures, signed autographs and listened to people share how they knew someone who she had served with, who she had saved or both. She knew that some were not being truthful but that was okay ... She knew that everyone that might have been less than honest just wanted to feel a part of something. No harm was intended. Shepard loved talking with people as long as it did not include _The Bell Tower of the Blitz_ or that god-awful actress. Today … no one mentioned either. Yes, it had been a good morning.

* * *

><p>Liara had awakened just a little over an hour after Shepard had left and once showered and dressed, she had knocked on the Commander's bedroom door. Receiving no response, she slowly opened the door to find the bed made and a note on the pillow. Liara frowned when she read that Shepard had left earlier to get breakfast and do a little shopping at the Lowndes Hotel … <em>You did not want me to come with you?<em> Liara dropped the note back on the bed and stormed out.

"Does Shepard want to try a new dish this morning?" Ipa asked, waiting to order the morning meal.

"No," Liara frowned. "Shepard is not here."

"Only four days and already she is tired of us?" Sibila teased her cousin. "Li-Li, you should crawl into her bed and make her want to stay."

"Sibila," Ipa scolded. "You know that we do not force ourselves on others."

"Who said force?" Sibila placed a hand on her hip, "It is quite clear to me that the human desires Liara."

"No she does not," Ipa said, remembering Shepard's response to that very question the previous night.

"Are you blind?" Sibila argued. "I can see that she wants Li-Li by how she looks at her."

"Shepard does not desire me nor I her," Liara told her cousin as she sat in front of the table with the stopped game of Wisp. "You do not see anything."

"Of us three, who has been with a human?" Sibila asked, looking at the other two. "I can see that she desires you but is fighting it … one might even say that she has blinded herself. If you want her just tell her."

"Siby … you are wrong," Liara argued as she began to look at the tiles played. "I do not desire her and the Commander is not attracted to me … or any asari … she made it plain that she desires human males only."

"She made it plain?" Sibila moved closer. "How did that comment come about?"

"What?" Liara picked up a tile. "Siby, you do not know or understand her. Please let us stop talking about this."

Sibila shook her head and sat down next to Liara, "Li-Li … I have been with humans and I am telling you that Shepard desires you. If you do not believe me then prove me wrong ... pretend to like her."

Liara ignored her cousin as she continued to look at the layouts. They were not very interesting and she said more to herself, "So many of these tiles are placed all wrong … It would appear that …" Liara thought of Shepard but said, "… _the player_ was just laying down tiles with no real thought."

"But she tried," Ipa smiled, having just ordered their meal. "It seems that humans are like all the other species … not fit for Wisp."

"Hmmm," Liara nodded as she looked at one tile in particular that was so nonsensical in its placement … _You placed it in the mother layout and after the sitruuna tile? Shepard, what were you thinking?_ … that she had to remove it. "But it was her first time, Ipa."

"And I think her last time," Ipa said, still remembering Shepard's words the night before.

"Stop ignoring me," Sibila told Liara. "All she needs is a little push and you could at least experiment with a human ... You need to try something more than asari. Why not a human warrior … a SpecTRe?"

"You want her to make Shepard succumb to her?" Ipa was offended at an asari using one of their gifts in an abusive way.

"No," Sibila waved her hand in frustration. "I mean that if Liara were to take the lead … show Shepard what pleasure Liara is capable of giving to her … the human would realize her desire and she would be open to it ... To her."

Liara looked at her cousin and wished that she was right. That all she needed to do was touch her in a tempting manner and it would draw her in … but she remembered the embarrassing conversation already shared between the two. No. The thought of touching Shepard in a soft and intimate way, only to be pushed away made her stomach hurt. She would not risk losing the Commander's friendship in hopes of sharing pleasure with her. So she continued to hide her real emotions … "No, Siby. Shepard is not to be mine … even for a night. You know how I feel about humans as well."

"Fine," Siby shook her head. "Let some other asari draw her into bed … because as the humans say, _that is bound to happen_."

Liara hated it when her cousin even hinted of Shepard with another asari. She was okay when she thought of her being with a human … but one of her own kind? An asari? No. If that were to happen ... if Shepard were to lay with an asari ... Shepard would pick her. She would have to. Right? Or Liara would find the asari that touched the Commander and … and … "Siby, you have given me a headache."

"Not me," Siby looked at the tiles. "It was caused by the tiles that your soldier girl played … How did you continue on, Ipa, when she played this tile here?" Sibila picked up a tile showing three moons, an infant and a bird, and waved it at her.

"She was learning," Ipa defended the Commander.

"I hope that she does not touch the way she plays," Sibila looked at Liara, "… or that will be a great disappointment to whoever she ... oh, what do the humans call it? Oh, yes ... fucks."

Liara looked at her cousin, "Please do not talk that way, Siby."

"Is everything about pleasure to you?" Ipa asked, not accepting that type of behavior even with Sibila being young.

"Yes," Sibila smiled and then looked at Liara, "Do you not feel the same, Li-Li?"

"No," Liara answered, standing up and walking away from her cousin. _Shepard, why didn't you wake me?_ She thought as she stood looking out at the lake. _Do you not enjoy being with me? Did I anger you?_

"There is more to life then the sharing of bodies," Ipa told Siby as she looked at Liara. "There is friendship and trust … There is also a connection that is so strong that it binds you together with that person."

"Maybe for you," Siby answered, "but I find the sharing of bodies to be quite satisfactory … and the only binding that I'm interested in is also in the arts of seduction."

"You must not be so foolish in life," Ipa said. "There is so much more than the bed."

Sibila hated it when anyone but her mother, the Matriarch or Liara tried to correct her, "Ipa … I do not judge your boring sexual restraint, so do not judge me my exploration and freedom."

Liara tuned the argument of the two out of her head and thought of the Commander. She was hurt and angry by her absence but told herself that she would need to be accepting of what Shepard desired. That maybe this was a normal action of humans to leave their group without discussion. Yes, she was misunderstanding the Commander and reading too much into it.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, Liara received a call and as she walked over to the comm. station to answer it, she was hoping that it was her mother calling for an invite to her suite … "Salaa," Liara greeted.<p>

"Salaa," came the response. "Liara, I am so pleased to hear your voice."

"Aika!" Liara loved her older cousin and knew that she was in the hotel with her human lover.

"Has the staff been attentive to your needs?" She asked, sounding a little worried.

"Yes, thank you," Liara answered. "And the basket that you sent was touching."

"Especially the two bottles of mayngo wine," Sibila added, as she played Wisp with Ipa.

"I knew that you would like that," Aika said on the other end. "But please do not tell me that you have drunk both bottles yet."

"Aika," Ipa looked at Sibila, "please do not give her any ideas."

"I would not want to be responsible for leading my dear Tatiaria's daughter astray," Aika answered.

"Do not worry," Sibila answered, "I can do that all on my own."

"Liara," Aika said, "May I speak in private with you?"

"You always did care about her more," Siby teased Aika.

"Sibila," Aika responded, "I supplied you with mayngo wine and you dare to question my commitment to you?"

"I will take the two bottles and drink to your health," Siby responded and then left the suite with Ipa to wait outside.

"Liara," Aika said, "Are you and the Commander Shepard happy with the suite?"

"Yes," Liara answered. She knew that she would need to lie even to Aika about her relationship with Shepard and she hated it. "You must know that there is no other place that I would stay when visiting the Crystalis."

"Are you sure?" Aika asked. "Are you sure that the Commander is happy?"

Liara could tell that there was something off and asked, "What is wrong, Aika?"

"The Commander has taken a room at the Lowndes Hotel this morning," Aika told her. There was nothing that happened in Crystalis that Aika did not know. Especially when it concerned people that she was interested in and Shepard was one of them. After all, she was with a cousin that she loved.

"Did she?" Liara was worried now that Shepard was truly unhappy being around her.

"You were not aware?"

"No," Liara answered. "She wanted to go shopping this morning … but she did not say anything about leaving the Aikaterine and moving to another hotel. You must know that I would not have approved of it."

"Now I am afraid that a surprise might have been ruined by me," Aika said, as she reasoned that … "with Sibila sharing a suite with you … the human may have wanted to surprise you with a night or two alone."

Liara thought of the bedroom that Shepard had and shook her head, "No … we are alone at night."

"Oh, Li-Li …" Aika laughed. "Humans prefer privacy even outside of the bedroom … as you must be learning by now. And since she reserved the room under a different name I am beginning to think that she did not want anyone to know where you two would be ... Maybe hiding from Sibila?"

"You must be right," Liara answered. "Shepard is still a mystery to me and I am afraid that she is not always comfortable with our kind."

"And I am sure that Sibila does not help in this," Aika added.

Liara thought of her cousin and wished that Shepard had liked her, but she knew that the Commander was put off by Sibila's directness. "Siby can at times frustrate the Commander."

"I understand the feeling," Aika laughed softly. "But in time she will learn the other side of Siby. Do not worry … I predict that Shepard will learn to like her in time. I must confess that I was surprised to hear that you had taken a human lover … How are you maneuvering through the tender landscape?"

Liara thought of how they could clash at times and answered honestly, "Shepard and I are … learning … how to be together. But at times we confuse one another and she can anger me at times too ... and then there is her anger and changing emotions."

"Just be patient with her," Aika advised. "Humans are so young … that they are easily hurt and quick to respond to things. She will also misunderstand you at times … be patient."

Liara wanted to ask her so many things about humans but instead said, "Thank you, Aika."

"You are welcome," Aika responded. "I am having Liqiu give a concert on her violin ... and then afterwards an evening meal prepared by the chef from Korain."

"Chef Minthe is here?" Liara could almost taste her cooking.

"Yes," Aika answered. "... and I have reserved you and this Commander Shepard a place ... I have even requested your favorite dish from her."

"Manitaro with cilrag!" Liara smiled. "Oh, Aika … there is no one that can prepare that dish as well as Chef Minthe! We would be honored to attend. When is the event?"

"Tonight," Aika answered. "I am sorry that I did not contact you earlier but with the festival …"

"Tonight?" Liara frowned, thinking about Shepard and the _imbibing_ evening already scheduled.

"… I have had very little time," Aika continued. "I am looking forward to meeting your new human lover ... as is Liqiu. She was pleased to hear that she would not be the only human in the hotel. I must admit that I turned down all other requests for humans and turians ... and would you believe a volus as well?"

Liara thought of the thirty-year relationship between Aika and the human female … and wanted to ask her cousin questions in person on how she had managed it. But would Shepard be angry at Liara accepting this invitation? Did it matter? Liara could not say no to her cousin … Aikaterine was not only the owner of the hotel but also a T'Soni who was highly respected and loved in their family ... and Shepard, as her lover, would be bound to the request or it would dishonor her … "The Commander and I will be there."

"I am pleased," Aika said, adding, "I am still amazed that you chose a human, Liara."

"A human," Liara felt her stomach tighten. "The Commander is not … an average human."

"No?" Aika laughed. "Interesting. You two must also attend the pre-party at the Minoque before the concert and meal in the Hytra ... This will allow me more time around her. To see how she is not average."

"Aika," Liara hoped that her cousin was just teasing her.

"I also wish to speak with you in person," Aika said. "Please do not reject my request for a private audience with you."

"Never," Liara answered, hoping that the discussion would not be an unhappy one.

"I am pleased," Aika said. "There is also someone else that has requested a private audience with you."

Liara felt her stomach drop, "Mother?"

"Yes," Aika answered. "We had the morning meal together and she asked me to invite you to her suite tomorrow morning to share a meal and visit with her … alone."

That was what Liara wanted and she smiled, "Please tell mother that I would be honored."

"I will," Aika answered. "I must let you go now … there is so much to do before this evening."

"Aika," Liara stopped her from disconnecting just yet.

"Yes?"

"Please do not tell Shepard that I will be seeing mother," Liara said. "Or that the Matriarch is in the hotel … I want to talk to mother first."

"Liara, I am sure that the Matriarch will approve the SpecTRe … but I will not say a word."

"Thank you, Aika." … and with that the conversation ended and Liara prayed that this was a sign that all would work out as she hoped.

That her mother would return to the Citadel with her and Shepard would stop Saren. Yes, it had to work out. And after the Matriarch spoke with the Councilor … she could take her mother home to Armali and the family. Liara looked out the window and smiled … everything would be okay after tomorrow morning.


	59. Minoque Struggle

It had been four years since Shepard and Liara had been in the Minoque together … and while Liara was aware of that fact, Shepard was not. Shepard had no idea that Liara was in the club that night but Liara had not only known but saved the human from an asari named Ismene Dantium. Saved her but never saw her. Shepard had been hidden from Liara in the dark and as they stepped into the lounge, Liara looked at Shepard and smiled. A part of her wished that she had spoken with the Commander that evening so long ago or at the very least broke through the darkness just to see her … and as if trying to make up for it, she couldn't stop looking over at her. Shepard was unaware of the glances as she looked around the room … It was decorated in teal and black with silver podiums that held asari wearing only headdresses of the same colors as they performed upright Anskrit poses to offer peace, acceptance and beauty to the room … The singer Langston was performing an old asari love song in the ancient language of Messonia as the guests moved around each other … touching, smiling, whispering and embracing.

_Sweet Bacchus!_ Shepard wanted to yell, _do I have to spend another night with you creatures? Not understanding a frackin' word said? Shitmerkals!_ This was not how she had wanted to spend her first real night out. Not what she wanted but she had put on her dutiful daughter coat when Liara told her that she had accepted an invitation to a party in the hotel. She put on the coat but was angry. Angry, disappointed and … okay, fine … pissed off. Pissed off in a room that was tranquil and quieter than any party that she had been to in the past. Part of this was due to the way that asari communicated both verbal and physically with each other … Shepard just hoped that they couldn't read minds or she was in trouble. Liara sensed the Commander's anger and hoped that she would calm down and maybe enjoy the evening.

As the two moved further into the club, Shepard was reminded of the Nos Astra Port on Illium as she saw the asari moving with the music. As they passed the dance floor, it was here that Shepard stopped. It was filled with guests and appeared as if they were one unit. The asari were entwined as their movement seemed to sway in and out as one … the asari perfectly in sync with each other. There was something fascinating about it, but also unnerving as they pulled together and then away. Liara asked Shepard if she wanted to dance and all she could do was shake her head no. The thought of walking into that was less attractive then walking into a fire to Shepard. Liara was also glad that Shepard had said no because she knew that the Commander would disrupt the flow … Wisp on the dance floor.

As they were shown to their table, Shepard looked down at her dress and sighed. Only one thing had gone as planned … she was wearing the black cocktail dress purchased earlier that day at Hermés. Liara sat next to her and placed her scarf across her lap for Shepard to be more comfortable. Liara was wearing a sheer white floor length gown designed by the asari Glavan that showed off her body underneath. Shepard looked at the scarf over her lap and got tickled … Here Liara was trying to be modest for the human while two of the guests at the table were wearing no tops. Shepard was just thankful that the asari were built like women and weren't sporting cocks from their chests. _It could have been worse_, Shepard couldn't help but laugh to herself as her mind went off in a perverted and very disgusting way. _Much, much worse._

As drinks were ordered, Shepard took the scarf off Liara's lap and placed it on her chair's back as she whispered, "I'll be okay, Liara ... I promise. You look lovely and … very modest." Liara gave a slight laugh as the waitress, in headdress only, brought their drinks and stood next to Shepard. In that moment, Shepard knew it was going to be a long night. _A very looooooooooong night!_

* * *

><p>When Liara had appeared in the Lavender Suite's living area earlier that evening and Shepard saw her in that dress for the first time … well, the Commander was caught off-guard and quickly looked away ... Everything was visible. "Uh … Liara, are you going to wear something beneath the dress?"<p>

"Do you not like it?" Sibila asked. "Li-Li has a beautiful form ... her body a promise of beauty to a lover."

Liara could see that the Commander was uncomfortable and, after glaring at her cousin, apologized, "Oh, Commander! How could I be so foolish? Please give me a few minutes and I will change."

"Li-Li," Sibila stepped in front of her. "You are asari … and unless I'm mistaken, you are not going to a human function."

Liara wanted to push her cousin away but instead looked over at Shepard, "No, but I am being escorted by a human, Siby … I'll change."

As Liara began to return to the bedroom, Shepard stopped her, "No, Liara. Sibila is right … I'm sure that the dress is appropriate if you are wearing it."

"No, Commander," Liara looked down at her dress and then over at Ipa, "I was inconsiderate in choosing this dress … It will only take a minute."

Shepard moved closer to her and grabbed her arm, "Please, don't. I'm just not used to … clothes not covering certain … bits of the body. I'll get used to it ... and you are lovely in it … so ... please."

Liara looked into Shepard's eyes and smiled, "I will take my scarf to cover what you desire."

Sibila waited for Liara to leave the room and then whispered to Shepard, "Li-Li's body only hints at what pleasures she could bring to you … Commander."

Shepard looked at Sibila and felt herself blush as she took a step away from her, "Thanks for the advice but … we are only friends. You know that."

"Hmm," Sibila smiled innocently, "Of course you are … but we asari do not frown on what you call … one-night stands, Commander."

"I'm sure you don't," Shepard hated how Sibila made her feel.

"And I am sure that you have heard that we asari are quite gifted in the art of pleasure," Sibila pushed. "How long has it been since you were pleased? Liara is gifted in that area ... Or so a lover of hers once told me."

"Gifted?" Shepard refused to let Sibila see how intimidated she was of her. "Well … I'll keep that in mind if I should need relief."

"Keep what in mind?" Ipa looked over at the two, not trusting Sibila.

"That the two are passionate lovers," Sibila answered as she moved over to the table where she and Ipa were playing Wisp.

"Just follow Liara's lead," Ipa said as she placed a tile down on the passion layout. "You will do well tonight as long as you trust her."

Sibila looked at her tiles and then looking over at Shepard and smiled, "Let's hope that Liara does not find someone else tempting tonight … or you may come home alone."

"Someone else?" Shepard asked.

"Alone," Sibila appeared to be caught up in choosing her tile but she was pushing the human. "There will be very tempting asari there tonight … and Liara has needs ... needs that our kind are much better at meeting."

"I'm sure," Shepard's eyes narrowed, "But if we are lovers then Liara will come home with me."

"Lovers?" Sibila looked up. "So you will try and feed her body?"

"Sibila!" Ipa shook her head.

"You know what I mean," Shepard answered, not wanting to think of Liara leaving her at the party for someone else. "As lovers … even pretend lovers … Liara leaving with someone else would look like she was cheating and ... people would not expect me to be ok with that. Who would?"

"Aren't humans so sweet … and entertaining?" Sibila looked over at Ipa. "How they think monogamy proves loyalty and commitment!" Sibila turned back to Shepard, "We asari do not chain our lovers … if we meet someone that attracts us we share pleasures … Liara might see a potential lover tonight and feed that desire. Remember, you are not in a world of humans, Shepard … no one would question Liara choosing someone else tonight and leaving you to … well, also find someone else for pleasures if you wanted. So you see … you have nothing to worry about. Liara can still be satisfied and you would be left unmolested … Happy ending for both."

"If dumping a date to run off with someone else is acceptable to you asari," Shepard said through a tight jaw, "then I'm really glad that I'm not dating your kind … that I'm not with Liara."

"Shepard?" Liara was standing in the entryway from the bedrooms to the living area, worried as she saw that the Commander was angry. "Is something wrong?"

Shepard looked over at her with fire in her eyes, "Nothing's wrong … but listen here T'Soni and understand one thing before we attend this party and dinner."

Liara was scared of the look in the Commander's eyes, "I am listening."

Shepard stepped closer, "I don't care if this is all pretend ... I don't care if you aren't my lover … I don't want you touching, kissing or fucking someone while you're with me!"

"No, Shepard," Liara answered, looking over at Sibila and Ipa confused.

"We may know that this is all a ruse but others don't," Shepard went on, "… and I won't be known as someone who sits by and lets her lover cheat on her. I don't care how you asari do it … you are not with an asari tonight! You are with me … a human."

"Yes, Shepard," Liara answered, moving a little closer to the very pissed off human.

Liara watched as Shepard grabbed her coat and then turned back to her still fuming, "No lover of mine leaves my bed for another while I'm around … and that includes you … it doesn't matter one iota that in your world .. your apparently hedonistic world … that it's okay or acceptable. I won't accept it! I mean …" Shepard grabbed her small purse, "were you planning on leaving me alone?"

"No, Shepard," Liara wrapped the scarf around her shoulders and covered her breasts.

"Good! You want to wear a see-through dress … fine! But not this!" Shepard took two steps toward the door then stopped and continued, "And if that is why you are wearing that dress … to seduce others … then you better get that thought out of your head! Do you hear me? Here in this place … here on Quana … you are mine! You arrived with me and you will leave with me. Period!"

"Yes, Shepard," Liara said, still confused but wanting to kiss her cousin for whatever she did to have the Commander say those words to her.

"Good," Shepard looked over at Sibila. "Leave with someone else, my ass!"

As the two left for the party Ipa looked over at Siby, "You are Tatiaria's daughter!"

Sibila laughed as she left the game to pour the two of them a glass of elasa … "Why yes … yes I am. Thank you!"

* * *

><p>Now, as Shepard sat and had her first tumbler of Jameson she could see that Liara was modestly dressed compared to some of the other guests. <em>What is wrong with you? <em>Shepard asked herself as she thought about her angry words in the suite. _Why do you let that nutty cousin get under your skin?_ As she remembered her outburst she was now feeling ashamed and regretting her words of possession. Shepard was not typically a jealous type and she hated when others tried to treat her as an object, so her own words … _Here in this place … here on Quana … you are mine!_ … made her cringe. _What sin am I guilty of that has put me here?_ Shepard thought to herself as an asari, wearing only a tight skirt and head band greeted Liara with a kiss and looked at her .._. I am in Ricky's heaven and my hell! _Shepard picked up her tumbler and emptied it. _Tonight I am gladly getting drunk!_

Shepard was working hard on her second drink when Liara placed her hand on the glass, "Shepard, you have not eaten since breakfast."

Shepard turned to say that she was fine when her eyes caught Liara's right breast … her nipple hard and the shape firm. _I don't think my breasts were ever that perky_, Shepard thought and then said, "Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love._" _Shepard then realized that she had said the scripture out loud and that Liara was looking at her … as she was still looking at her breasts. "Sorry," Shepard looked up. "I … uh … was admiring your shape. I don't think my breasts were ever that firm or … uh … sorry."

Liara smiled and took Shepard's drink and finished it, "I am beginning to rethink this dress, Commander."

Shepard laughed as Liara put the tumbler down and an asari was heard to call out her name.

"Tareina!" Liara smiled, standing up. "I did not know that you were here for the Chaironton Festival."

"I arrived this morning," Tareina answered, looking down at Shepard. "Is this your human lover that I have heard so much about?"

Liara looked at Shepard who was looking at the bar and nodded, "Tareina, this is Commander Shepard."

Shepard heard her name being said by Liara and turned away from the bar and looked up at her. "Yes?"

"Shepard," Liara could feel her anger start to rise at Shepard's lack of attention, "this is the daughter of the Matriarch Marietta who went into the light and who was the sister of Matriarch Dianthe, the mother of Matriarch Benezia."

"Your mother?" Shepard's attention was now focused on Liara.

"Matriarch Benezia is my cousin," Tareina said. "Have you been graced by her presence?"

"No … but I …" Shepard started but was cut off from Liara who invited her cousin to the dance floor. Liara was afraid that her cousin would tell Shepard that the Matriarch was in the hotel. She knew that she was taking a big risk not telling Shepard before the party but … she knew that the Matriarch would not be attending any of the night's events and if she could just run interference where needed … all would work out. After tomorrow morning, the Matriarch would explain to Shepard that she was trying to stop Saren as well … and everything would be as it use to be. Right?

With Liara off on the dance floor, Shepard excused herself from the table full of T'Soni's and headed for the bar. As she waited for her drink, she looked at the dance floor where she could see Liara moving with the others. The music pulsed as Liara's hips moved back and forth … back and forth … back and forth. The rhythm and motion in her hips were hypnotic and causing Shepard to feel an ache between her legs in response. Liara stirring something in her as she watched the asari ... as Liara moved with the promise of a skilled lover. _Li-Li's body only hints at what pleasures she could bring to you … Commander,_ Sibila's words ringing in her mind. Shepard was caught by her graceful moves and her unexpected sensuality ... and sexuality. She had thought of the asari as more bookish and hesitant. There was none of that on the floor. And as she moved in time … caressed others … allowed others to touch her … Shepard couldn't help but hear Sibila's words of her being gifted as a lover and as Liara ran her hand over another asari's hips … Shepard was both aroused and jealous. _What are you doing to me?_ _Are you seducing me for your mother? To protect her? _

As Liara danced, she thought of Shepard. Her hips moving against the Commander's hips as her hands touched her body. She thought of Shepard saying that she … Liara … belonged to her and it made her hope. Should she risk another rejection? Should she touch the Commander softly and see if she responds? Liara was struggling with herself when she looked at Shepard. As their eyes met, Shepard realized that she wanted Liara ... that somewhere along the way she had fallen for the asari. Not in love but extremely attracted to her. But how? Liara's eyes seemed to promise the Commander pleasure and exquisite … _pain_, Shepard thought as she turned away. _No! I can't be falling for her ... I'm just confused. I__t's been almost three months since I've had sex_, Shepard told herself as her drink was placed before her. _That's all this is. Nothing more. Once this evening is over … I'll go to Jalouse, find a guy and get laid. Problem solved. I won't use Liara and I can't let her use me. I'm just confused ... I must be. _

As Shepard took her tumbler back to the table, Liara and her cousin left the dance floor and as Liara and Shepard took their seats there was a change in the room as the crowd seemed to come alive. Aika had arrived with her human lover Liqiu Zhào and as she moved through the room towards them, the air was static. Shepard understood when she finally saw her. She was the most beautiful person she had seen and at 216 centimeters intimidating as well. Shepard was thankful that she had worn her shoes with the six inch heels. She had already felt like a short kid in this crowd of tall asari. As Shepard was introduced to Aika by Liara, she couldn't stop looking at the asari's face … Shepard knew that she had seen that face before and she was not thinking of the hotel's portrait in the main lobby. Where she had seen her face would not come to mind until the next day … The bust of Nefertiti.

Being in the presence of the asari was a new experience for Shepard. Aika received all the attention normally reserved for the Commander and then some. It was a relief for Shepard … and also strange. She had always downplayed her looks but she was finding that she also was not built to be a wallflower. Her emotions were all disjointed and she did not know why.

Then there was Aika's lover … Liqiu Zhào. She was a world-renowned violinist back on Earth and about the same age as Shepard's mother. She was also one of the musicians that Hannah Shepard had admired and introduced her daughter to by way of recordings. Meeting her was an unexpected treat and Shepard confided to her that Hannah Shepard could listen to her rendition of Ennio Morricone's _Malena_ over and over.

"Could she?" Liqiu was surprised at the piece Shepard mentioned. It was not a well-known or requested number from her catalog and it always pleased her to have a less known piece remembered. "Morricone was a beautiful composer." Liqiu was seated next to Shepard and as the only two humans in the room … or the hotel … Liqiu joked that her lover, Aika, had arranged it so they sat together. "This way I cannot complain that I was once again alone in this crowd."

Shepard smiled and added, "I'm sure that Liara had a hand in it as well."

"How long have you been with Liara?" Liqiu asked, looking over at her own lover who was seated across the table and being greeted by a guest.

Shepard looked over at Liara who was deep in conversation with a cousin, "Just a couple months."

"Not long enough for too much pain," Liqiu nodded. "Loving an asari will tear your heart … they do things that are natural to them but … painful to us."

"Painful?" Shepard looked at Liqiu, who was still looking at her lover and remembered how she herself had felt when Liara had looked at her from the dance floor. _Pain_.

Liqiu turned to Shepard, placing her hand on the Commander's and smiled, "Liara will do things that seem cold … selfish … unloving. But if she tells you that you have her heart … her devotion … then know that she is telling you the truth. Everything else is just … the differences."

"Differences?" Shepard leaned in, curiosity getting the better of her. "What type of differences should I be prepared for?"

Liqiu's eyes seemed to fade to another time … another place … and then she answered, "I'm sorry … ignore this old woman. I am causing you to worry and tonight is about pleasure ... pleasure and not pain."

Shepard could see that Liqiu had been hurt and not wanting to pry picked up her glass of whiskey and started to take a drink. Started to but came to an abrupt stop as she felt Liara lean in and place her hand below Shepard's dress on her leg and then move up her thigh, stopping just inches from her private place. Liara's touch was not shy or clumsy but strong and direct ... and Shepard felt her body respond as she caught her breath and knew that the heat Liara's touch caused would be felt if Liara moved up just another inch. Shepard reached down with her free hand to move Liara's hand ... but as she turned to face Liara, she saw why the asari had touched her. Liara was looking up at the one asari that Shepard had hoped against hope to never see again … Ismene Dantium.

Liara had been taking a drink of her elasa when she had spotted Ismene moving towards them and she wanted her to know that Shepard was hers. That the human was still with her and that there was no doubt of it or negotiation to share. Without thought of Shepard or her response, Liara reached down and touched Shepard as she would have a real lover. It wasn't until she felt Shepard's body respond with the heat between her legs, that she fully realized what she had done … but it was too late. Her hand was where it was and Ismene was standing in front of her.

"Liara," Ismene was smiling down, "… it is such a pleasure to see you and …" Ismene looked at where Liara's hand was placed and then up at the human, "Shepard."

Shepard, flushed by Liara's touch, emptied her glass of whiskey and hoped that Liara did not sense her desire. It was as if her body had a mind of its own and no matter what Shepard thought … it wanted more. It wanted Liara. As Liara and Ismene chatted, Shepard looked at Liara's profile, realizing that she wanted to kiss her, but she removed her hand and stood up instead. Without saying a word, Shepard walked to the bar to catch her breath and get away from Liara ... Get away from her feelings.

As Ismene tried ingratiating herself into the T'Soni circle, Liara's mind was on Shepard. She could not stop thinking about the way the Commander's body had responded to her touch. Shepard wanted her … and her body confirmed it … and Liara was pleased. But she also did not know what to do next ... She needed Sibila to help her. After all, _Siby knows humans_.

Shepard squeezed between two asari at the bar and ordered a double whiskey neat. She would have just ordered a bottle of Jameson and slipped into a stall in the bathroom and cried but not with Ismene in the area. She looked over at the table and saw the Medusa still talking with Liara, who had stood up as well and was now smiling at Ismene. _What am I gonna do? And h__ow can you smile at that creature?_ Shepard thought as she downed her drink and then just as quickly ordered another.

Liara was smiling at how Shepard had responded to her touch … a touch that had been simple. There was so much more that she could do to and with the Commander. And now she knew that if Shepard accepted her … accepted her skills of pleasure … she could delight her in ways that would not only leave her satiated but needing her touch again. Sibila was right.

Aika waved away Ismene and invited Liara to take a walk with her as she escorted her own lover to the Hytra … "Liqiu needs to prepare for her concert and I need to check in with Chef Minthe."

"I will need to have Shepard come with us," Liara answered, thinking of Shepard being left alone in a room with Ismene.

"She will be fine," Aika answered. "I must have time alone with you."

Liara smiled, despite her concern over Shepard, "Please allow me to talk to Shepard before we leave then."

"Of course," Aika smiled, helping her own lover put on her coat.

Shepard saw Liara look over at her and then move through the crowd to her. Shepard had never noticed how graceful the asari could be and as Liara drew closer Shepard found her body reawakening yet again. _Dammit_, Shepard cursed at herself._ I want you ... How did that happen? I want you but I can't have you, Liara. I wouldn't even know what to do with you ... You are an asari. We have no chance of a future together, not that it matters. This is just a physical attraction. That's all ... nothing more. No ... I can't let Liara know ... I can't let anyone know._

"Shepard," Liara smiled, sensing the need of Shepard. "Aika has asked me to escort her to the restaurant. Will you be fine here?"

"Of course," Shepard answered curtly, finished her second drink and then turning away from Liara to order another one.

Liara caught the anger and was baffled ... after all, Shepard was physically aroused and Liara was willing to meet her need but instead Shepard was angry. _Aroused and angry?_ Humans were confusing. Or did Shepard really want her? Was she reading her wrong? No. Liara looked back at her cousin with her human lover and hoped that she might be able to explain some of Shepard's odd behaviors and how she could not only please her ... but understand her. One thing that Liara knew ... Shepard wanted her.


	60. Confessions

Liara had been gone for almost an hour and Shepard, with a slight buzz, was standing at the great windows and looking out at the Midim'ah Lake. The glass of whiskey in her hand was number five and being used simply as a prop ... She could not lose her control and was reminded of that fact as she saw Medusa Dantium slithering around her. _Please stay away_, Shepard prayed, _I don't think I'm up for this … not tonight. Not ever, really._

Ismene Dantium had watched the human from the moment that Liara had left and was now making her way closer. Carefully. She had been surprised to find that Liara had not tired of the human and by the way the maiden had touched her toy earlier showed that she was not ready to let her go … yet. But Ismene knew that the relationship was on borrowed time … a maiden and matron never lasted. Well, not usually. _You will come to me_, Ismene thought as she drew closer to her desire. _And when you do, I promise to touch easy … at first. _

_Friggit, Liara_! Shepard cursed under her breath. _You just had to leave me alone_.

"Left alone again?" Ismene seemed to have read her mind.

Shepard tightened her hand around the full tumbler of whiskey, fighting the urge to down it, as she turned to face Ismene. "It would seem ... But Liara will be back soon."

"I am sure she will be," Ismene looked at the full glass of whiskey and smiled, "So Liara still has not brought you over to asari drinks?"

Shepard looked at her whiskey, "I'm afraid not … but in time who knows?"

"After four years in her bed … hmmm … I would have thought her touch would have already accomplished it," Ismene seemed to sigh in boredom at the thought.

"Four years?" Shepard's brows lowered in confusion.

"Longer?" It was Ismene's turn to look confused.

Shepard wanted to say only a few months but something in the way that Ismene had said it … _No_, Shepard looked at her glass, _hold your thoughts_. "Why do you say four years?"

"Well," Ismene smiled, "I just assumed that when we met last that you two were newly ... _wet_. Or have you been with Liara longer?"

Shepard inwardly cringed at the way Ismene said _wet_ as she thought of their meeting years past and wondered if … _no, that couldn't have been her. Could it? Was Liara my white knight? _ Shepard gave a small smile at that possibility and looked out the window. Ismene could be heard ordering another drink from a server as Shepard thought carefully on how to find out. "Ismene?"

"Shepard?" Ismene seemed to answer teasingly as she looked at her breasts.

Shepard hated the way that this asari looked at her, but did her best to ignore it, "The last time that we met here … I was waiting on my lover. You did speak to her that evening if I'm not mistaken?"

"Are humans so forgetful?" Ismene asked, removing her top and placing it over her arm.

Shepard tried to act as if a person taking their top off was natural as she answered, "Not all … But I'm afraid that I've had just a little too much whiskey. Did Liara talk about me that night?"

Ismene thought of the younger asari stopping her from her seduction of Shepard and the words they exchanged, "Liara and I spoke of you."

"Really?" Shepard grinned. "And what did you two speak of?"

Ismene did not care to think of how Liara had used her status to stop the seduction. Looking at the human reminded her of what she had been denied that evening and hoped that she would have her chance this time. "I had asked to taste you but Liara said that you did not enjoy or approve of pleasures with others. Is that still true?"

"Yes," Shepard answered quickly ... maybe a little too quickly to hide the repulsion at the thought of being touched by Ismene. She then turned away from her and back to the window, grinning. _Little Miss T'Soni_!

"And so once again I am left wanting," Ismene confessed.

Shepard had barely heard the asari as she thought of that night. _Holy Cramus! That was you! Why didn't you tell me? I owe you dinner and … oh, crap! Michelle! Are you also the asari that she was chasing? Now this is just too priceless if you are! _

Ismene looked at Shepard's legs and wished that they were somewhere else … secluded. "Shepard, we asari are not possessive with our lovers … But after all this time, I am sure that you know that. Liara would approve of you experiencing others ... and I am quite experienced at pleasuring humans. Have you thought of opening yourself to someone new? Of feeling the touch of another … maybe someone more hungry and gifted?"

_If Liara is Michelle's … wait, what did she just ask_? Shepard took a drink and then shook her head no as she tried to sound relaxed, "I am monogamous, but thank you."

"Ahh, monogamy ... that is a pity," Ismene moved closer, looking down at Shepard and faking a pout. "Do you forbid Liara as well? The thought of one so young being bound by human demands … she could not be content without the pleasures of others."

Shepard remembered the way that Liara had smiled at the Medusa earlier, along with the nutty cousin's words, and wanted to say _yes_. Yes, she would not allow her lover to sleep around. But her pride would not allow her to play a jealous insecure shrew so instead, she took another drink and answered, "Liara is free to do as she pleases. If she desires your bed … I don't own her." _But I'll kill her if she does_, the thought quickly followed. The feeling of jealousy caused Shepard to take another drink as she questioned why she was having these thoughts about Liara. _Get a grip, girl!_

"A human who is open to our ways?" Ismene gave a small laugh. "Now I understand why you have kept the attention of the young asari … very wise. And how have you fared with her mother? The Matriarch?"

"We haven't met yet," Shepard answered, "between my duties in the Alliance and now the Council's agency … well, I have not made it to Thessia."

Ismene's smile stretched like a serpent as she thought she found a hole in the relationship, "Liara has kept you from her?"

"No," Shepard shook her head. "She has asked me to Thessia … to …" Shepard flipped through her memory to where Liara had said that she was from and … "Armali, but I have had to decline due to other commitments. Liara has been understanding but hopefully soon I can meet her."

_No,_ Ismene thought. _That is a lie or she has been lied to_. _If Liara had invited her to meet the Matriarch it would have been at her mother's request._ _The human to have declined would have not only dishonored both the Matriarch and Liara ... but would have ended the relationship. And now with the Matriarch here and this human not being presented to her? The Matriarch has not requested to meet her! Did the human know that without the Matriarch's consent that it was a clear sign that she was nothing? That the Matriarch saw her only as a toy to Liara? That she is on borrowed time? Or has Liara not even spoken of the human? Is she just playing with her? That would make this easier … How sweet_. Ismene moved closer to Shepard, "Well … if you care about Liara, Shepard, then you should tell Liara that you want to meet her mother here. To show her how sincere you are in your affection."

Shepard could see that the asari was moving closer and it was bothering her, "If her mother arrives then we will meet."

"Should arrive?" Ismene gave a small laugh, "The Matriarch is here, Shepard. She has been here for weeks … didn't Liara tell you?"

"What?" Shepard dropped her glass. "The Matriarch is here?"

Ismene waved over a server to clean up the spill as she focused on her prey, "Yes. I hate to be the one to tell you … but it would seem that Liara has not wanted to introduce you or worse."

"Worse?" Shepard cursed herself for showing emotion but the whiskey was dulling her control.

"The Matriarch Benezia has declined to meet you and therefore has shown she does not approve of your connection with her daughter," Ismene explained, as she slid even closer. "I have seen that too many times and it only means that you will be disposed. After alll, Liara would not go against the wishes of her mother. What asari would? Especially one from the Corallium Circle ... that would be a scandal!"

"I'm sorry," Shepard told the person now cleaning up her mess as she tried to get control of her emotions. "Here, let me," Shepard said as she bent down to help. Shepard felt anger as she looked at the broken glass. Is that where Liara went? To see the Matriarch? Was Liara working on a plan to escape with her mother? Was she involved with Saren all this time? And Sibila? Is that where those two spent their days? _You are full of secrets_, Shepard thought as she looked down now at the broken glass and dark amber on the floor. _I've been so stupid to start trusting you … and tonight … I … I … what a fool! _The server smiled as she told Shepard that she could take care of the mess but thanked her for the offer. Shepard moved away embarrassed but also still angry at Liara. Angry and hurt ... and confused. _Maybe she doesn't know that the Matriarch is here_, Shepard thought. _Sure ... stay in the fool zone_. She knew that Liara had to know her mother was there already. _Why didn't you tell me?_ Shepard wondered as she looked at the frozen mountains off in the distance. _All those times you spoke in a language that I didn't understand … now I know why. Dad you were right! Beware the unknown tongue. _

Ismene could see that the human was angry and moved in next to her, touching her arm, "I would have had you in my mother's home within our first year, Shepard."

_And served on a plate_, Shepard wanted to say but answered instead, "As I said, I've been too busy … If the Matriarch is here then I'm sure that we will meet."

"If not," Ismene pressed her leg against Shepard's, "I am here for you ... in the Blue Rose Penthouse."

Shepard wanted nothing more than to tell the asari to shove off but took deep breaths instead as she focused on the mountains. She could not let Liara know that her secrets were exposed ... not yet. _Patience Elizabeth_, Shepard said beneath her breath. _Use this information wisely ... Liara wants to play you for a fool ... play back._

* * *

><p>"A human?" Aika smiled as she sat down on a recamier and motioned for Liara to sit next to her. "I must confess that this surprised me … My Liara with a human. No! This cannot be!"<p>

"Do not tease me!" Liara said, as she sat next to her, "Shepard is different."

"The person that pleases you always is," Aika laughed. "The first time that I saw Liqiu … mmmm. And you know how I feel about other species ... just as you did."

"Aika," Liara began as she looked down at her own lap, "How do you please Liqiu?"

Aika shifted closer, put her arm around Liara and leaned in, "Are we speaking emotionally? Or physically?"

"Both," Liara almost whispered.

Aika put her forehead against Liara's temple, "It would please me to give you that answer … but humans are quite different from each other."

"Shepard confuses me," Liara confessed, "She can be angry and … aroused at the same time. She can be tender and then distant. I do not understand her."

This made Aika laugh harder, "Complex creatures! Have you touched her while she is angry? Liqiu is my burning Passiflora Incarnata when angry in my bed ... She hates it when I call her that. And she hates it when I ignite her anger just for my own pleasure … Selfish beast she calls me!"

Liara thought of Shepard angry and in her bed … "No! Aika, you have not seen the Commander angry! I would rather escape than pull her to me in those moments!"

"Ferocious!" Aika smiled. "Mmmm, what I would do with that passion ... would you share her?"

Liara could not deny her cousin and simply answered, "If that is what you wish."

"Careful," Aika turned Liara to face her. "Unless the human is open to the touch of others … do not offer. So much pain for humans when subjected to some of our ways … Liqiu suffered in silence as I pulled her into our world and took no thought of how it impacted her ways. If I had known how it hurt her …" Aika looked away.

"Oh, Aika," Liara hugged her. "Please forgive me for stirring pain in you."

"No," Aika turned back to Liara and gave a small smile, "The pain is mine … I accept it and share it, with the hopes that you do not experience it through Shepard. If your human is a believer in monogamy then respect that. It may not be our way but … we do not die if we deny ourselves physical pleasures with others. But that is just one area that you will have to make concessions in … Is she worth it?"

Liara thought about Shepard … the way she carried her responsibilities, the way others followed her and her smile … and her laughter ... and her ... okay, everything about her. "There is a light in her that I've never seen before and even in my dreams she torments me with her touch! She has a way of making me want her and then in the next moment she infuriates me. I get confused with her … how can she pull me apart as she does?"

"The torture!" Aika nodded. "The females of that species seem to be highly emotional … my past male lovers were more singular in purpose. Maybe that is part of their secret. I have often wondered how they manage with each other. They cannot meld and yet they can connect in ways that we cannot with them. Without reaching into each other's minds they can understand what each other feels … or at least when they are truly in love. Liqiu's parents have spent just fifty years together and yet they can finish each other's sentences. They give each other looks that are so private … It amazes me. Their connection is so strong and deep … without ever melding! Can you even imagine that? It is quite lovely to behold."

Liara thought of Shepard's lover back on the Arc and wondered if he knew her that way. "So they are better without us?"

Aika pulled away and smiled. "Each species, Liara, has a uniqueness and specialness together. Do not think to compare or compete against their own ... Instead, look at the gifts that you bring her and know that you two will have a connection unique between a human and asari. The meld is also different."

"Different?" Liara had not thought of melding with Shepard.

"They have a natural instinct to fight us," Aika explained. "The stronger their mind, the harder to penetrate. I hurt Liqiu the first few times because I treated her as one of us … and she suffered once again in silence."

Liara took Aika's hand, "I am sorry."

Aika patted her younger cousin's hand and nodded, "If you should ever decide to reach into her be careful … move slowly and be mindful of her responses. She may not cry out but if you are completely open to her then you will feel her pain. Even if the joining is only to share thoughts and comfort be aware that you are an invader to her mind. They were not designed for this … and we must be careful."

The thought of hurting the Commander made Liara decide in that moment that she would not even think of melding with her. "Thank you, Aika, for sharing. To have hurt Shepard would have caused me pain … But I am also grieved to know that your wisdom was gathered by hurting another."

Aika touched Liara's cheek with her hand after kissing her and smiled, "Always so kind. You will cause each other pain, Liara. That cannot be avoided. But with pain comes pleasure and both strengthens your bond. Do not avoid the meld if you find that she inspires it … just move carefully. With our own kind the meld is perfection but yet I have never found as much joy in it as I have with Liqiu … In its imperfection I am lost and weak with her."

Liara looked at Aika and was confused by her words, "You? Lost and weak?"

"Mmm," Aika smiled at the thought of melding with her human lover. "I cannot say if other humans are like her … but she is still just out of reach after so many melds. An enigma. I feel that I will never fully understand her and it is that very reason why I find being in her so exquisite. That feeling of perplexity and incompleteness within the meld is vexing and yet exhilarating! And it is my Liqiu!"

Liara thought of Shepard and sharing even a comforting meld with her made her stomach turn in distress. No, she could never do that with her. The Commander may see something in her that was a disappointment and the thought of seeing Shepard's real feelings scared her. But to have her physically. Liara remembered Shepard's heat as she touched her leg and smiled, "How did you bring Liqiu to your bed?"

Aika looked at Liara for a minute and then tilted her head, "You have not touched her yet?"

Liara turned away, "I have been unsure on what pleases her. She has always been with human males and …" Liara looked down at her lap again, "I am different."

"Very," Aika agreed. "But do not compare, Liara. You will bring her different touches, special turns and do not forget our gifts."

"But I am not what she has found pleasure in before," Liara felt her fear coming to the surface. "I cannot touch her as a human male."

"I see," Aika smiled at her much younger cousin. "Liara, if you are open to her she will guide you on her needs."

"How?" Liara asked.

Aika squeezed her hand, "By words … by her body ... by her breath. These things moved me with Liqiu. She moved me to experience pleasures that are interesting and quite enjoyable."

"What types of pleasure?" Liara leaned closer, hungry to know what Shepard might like.

Aika shook her head as she laughed, "Liqiu would not want me to share our private moments. Looking at your Shepard, I am almost certain that she would be the same. Some humans are very secretive in that area … even when it comes to public touches. Learn your lover, Liara. These humans are much more delicate and emotional than we are. They can be easily hurt and find layers of pain where there is none. Every word you say can be dissected, every moment of silence interpreted and every deed judged."

"Why?" Liara asked.

"Love," Aika sighed. "The most simple and softest of all things they have made complex and hard. It is not enough for them to hear you say that they are your desire … you must prove it. Over and over and over. Love with a human has so many challenges, Liara. But if you have a connection with her … no matter how small … it may be worth the extra effort … and heartache. Only you can say."

Liara thought of that night she was with Shepard in her kitchen. How they had moved around each other and the way that Shepard had talked to her. That memory made her smile and she could not explain why. Nothing special had happened, no words of want were expressed … but Liara found the memory to be enchanting. "Shepard has touched me in a way that confuses but delights me. Sometimes being near her … hurts."

"Hurts?" Aika in a serious tone asked. "In what way, Liara?"

"Here," Liara pointed to her temple and then to her heart, "and here."

"Oh, Liara!" Aika took her hands in hers and brought them to her lips, "Benezia always said that you were in a rush … flapping against everything! Even in this you have not waited."

"What is it?" Liara asked, her heart beating faster. "Am I going to die?"

"Die?" Aika grinned. "It is even worse! You are bonding! And to a human! And at just a century! My first true connection happened when I was over three hundred! A hurry indeed!"

"Connecting?" Liara shook her head. "I don't understand. And why does it tear at me?"

"The pain will only get worse," Aika began to frown, "You need to see Benezia, Liara. She will guide you through this … but … no ... that is what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Mother?" Liara, pushing Shepard to the side, asked. "Is something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Aika thought of the few times that she had spent with the Matriarch and looked away. Benezia acted as she always had, albeit a little more _emotional_, but there was a feeling … something wrong. Aika could feel it when in her presence but could not pinpoint what it was … like a person having a déjà vu … or trying to remember a dream. "Nothing wrong but something feels different."

Liara knew that Aika adored her mother and could see that she was holding back. "Aika, please … I have not seen mother in so long."

"What I say to you is in the strictest of confidence," Aika said. "Do I have your word that what we speak of here is between us? That you will not share with anyone ... not even Benezia?"

This was a request that went against the asari custom and Liara felt her stomach tighten. Not only was Aika asking Liara to keep discussions from a Matriarch but an asari would not request another to a confidence that included shutting out their mothers. Part of the reason was that it would impact the ΕπZρεάζYω, as the daughter shut another door to her mother. _Is this a side effect of being with a human?_ Liara thought. _She has forgotten our ways? No, Matriarch Livia would not be derelict in her duties … this must be dangerous information. _Liara looked deep into Aika's eyes and gave her word.

Aika put Liara's hands in her own lap and bent closer, "You know that Benezia is my heart. That I would never raise a voice or hand to her or against her … but you must be careful. I do not know what she is involved in but there is darkness around her. Something cold. Her words are sweet and her touch still inspiring … but there is a chill in her eyes. And those around her have no warmth at all ... Be careful."

"Aika, mother has been away from us too long," Liara said defensively, "Once she is back home … back with Theia and the Matriarch Livia … all will be well. You will see."

"Of course," Aika looked down at her own lap … at her cousins hands. "But promise me that you will be cautious … and protect the human."

"Shepard?" Liara tightened her hands in Aika's, "Why? Did she say something?"

"She asked me to find out if you two were together," Aika confessed. "Why would she do that, Liara?"

"Mother would never harm Shepard," Liara pulled her hands away, scared that she might.

"Be careful, sweetness," Aika said, "If you whisper anything other than the truth to your mother … she will know. But you know that."

Liara thanked her cousin as she stood and asked if she could return to Shepard, "I have been away too long. She must think that I have forgotten her."

"Time is very important to them," Aika stood and kissed her cousin again. "Just one more thing to remember about them … their life is so short that a year is a century to them."

"The thought of living that short of time is such a shame," Liara nodded. "There is so little that they can accomplish in that space of time."

Aika thought of her lover, the way that she was aging and how it was changing their relationship ... "They are like fragile flowers. Beautiful for a season and then gone."

Liara thought of Shepard, "Sometimes when I look at Shepard, it is hard to believe that she is only twenty-nine."

"Twenty-nine?" Aika grabbed Liara and teased, "Cradle robber!"

Liara gave a small laugh, "Aika!"


	61. Poison Lipstick for a Bapac

As Liara entered the Minoque with Aika, she looked around the club for Shepard. She felt her heart quicken as she saw the Commander looking out a window … but then it stopped when she saw who was standing next to her. "Ismene!" Liara felt her anger rise, "Aika, please excuse me."

Aika nodded and then watched as Liara began to hurry through the crowd, causing a disruption to the flow as she went. "My sweet cousin!" Aika laughed, as Liara drew closer to Shepard and then slowed down … _Possessive, are we? How wonderful! That reminds of someone else … Oh, Benezia; it would seem that Aethyta has left her mark in your life! In more ways than one! And you poor human … Once caught in the sights of a T'Soni, you are powerless … Liqiu will love not being the only human at T'Soni functions anymore. Now… to tell Benezia that you two are truly together,_ Aika looked once more at her cousin and whispered, _Liara, __be careful tomorrow with your mother … remember my words ... please_.

"Ismene," Liara forced a smile as she approached the two.

"Liara," Ismene smiled just as falsely back as she let go slowly of Shepard's arm and turned to face her. "I was keeping your erotas company until you returned."

"Were you?" Liara looked at Shepard and caught the ice in her eyes.

"Yes," Ismene answered. "But now that you are here … Shepard it was a pleasure as always _talking_ with you. If there is any kindness in you, I'll be expecting a dance … or two."

As Ismene walked away, Shepard turned and looked out at the mountains, "Did you have a nice time with Aika?"

Liara looked at Shepard's profile and could see that she was upset, "Yes, did you enjoy being with Ismene? She desires you."

"Enjoy being with Medusa?" Shepard cocked a brow up at Liara.

"No," Liara shook her head, "with Ismene. Who is Medusa?"

Despite Shepard's anger she couldn't help but laugh, "That is Ismene, Liara. Medusa is a mythological character that was a gorgon … she had the face of a woman but her hair was ... ah ... venomous serpents. If you looked directly into her eyes … you would turn to stone."

"What does that have to do with Ismene?" Liara asked, confused.

Shepard shook her head, "Say goodnight, Gracie."

Liara hated it when Shepard left her confused and feeling dim-witted, "Are you making fun of me?"

Shepard looked at Liara and, her own anger temporarily put on hold, shook her head, "No. I'm glad that you are back though … although it must get tiresome saving me from that woman's … I mean, asari's seductions. Or maybe seductions are the wrong word … more like frontal assaults. She isn't exactly subtle."

"And here I thought you were enjoying her breasts over mine," Liara said, missing Shepard's reference to their past, as she was too focused on trying to be her cousin, Sibila. Even risking Shepard laughing at her as she did it.

"What?" Shepard looked at Liara, surprised at the comment, and then found herself blushing, "No! Oh, good God … No! I mean ... I would touch yours! But hers? Not in a million years! Ever! Infinity! Wait … I don't think infinity applies here. Or does it?"

"You would touch mine?" Liara asked, putting her hands on her hips. "Maybe I would push you away."

"Really?" Shepard grinned. "I highly doubt that, Dr. T'Soni."

"You are quite sure of yourself, Commander," Liara pressed, despite her own embarrassment at acting like Sibila.

Shepard moved closer, sensing Liara's nervousness and as she looked at her breasts … stopped. Once again she could feel her body start to respond to Liara and she knew that if she went any further, _you've had too much to drink. Step away or this may end up a morning's regret. _

Liara saw Shepard hesitate and quickly tried to think what her cousin would say, "Are you afraid, SpecTRe?"

Shepard looked up into Liara's eyes, "I think I've had too much to drink, Liara. I wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt you … So, yes. Yes, good doctor … I am afraid."

Liara smiled and accepted Shepard's hand as they walked back to their table and sat down.

* * *

><p>"You are sure that Liara and this human are together?" the Matriarch asked over the hotel comm..<p>

"I am sure," Aika answered. "Based on our conversation, I would even say that Liara is starting to bond with her."

"What?" the Matriarch balled up her fists.

"You always did say that Liara was on her own schedule," Aika tried to lighten the mood.

"Her own schedule," the Matriarch looked into the mirror over the comm. station. "She will need me then … to help her into the next phase."

"And soon," Aika said. "She is starting to feel the tear."

_The tear_, Benezia thought behind the mirror. _My Liara … so soon. What have I done? Oh Goddess, in my arrogance I have left her to this corruption. To this thing that bears my countenance … my body … but not my spirit. Not my tenderness or want of seeing her safe! Please help me! Help me hold on! Help me to protect her!_

* * *

><p>The dinner had helped Shepard sober up and having Liara sitting next to her helped keep her calm in a room full of blue. Yes, she was still angry and hurt but this was not the time or place for those emotions. So she had put them in the back of her mind and found herself having a pleasant conversation with Aika. After the meal they were moved into a room where Liqiu and a small orchestra were set up to perform. They were originally set to perform before dinner but Liqiu requested more time for rehearsal … even skipping out on the dinner itself.<p>

Aika had not been pleased but her human lover could not be persuaded to change her mind. Her need for more time was understood as she dedicated a piece to both Shepard and her mother … _Malena _by Ennio Morricone. "I have never played this in concert before," Liqiu said to Shepard. "But tonight … in the memory of your mother … We will play this piece. Forgive any errors, but we will try and not make too many mistakes."

As the music started, Shepard fought back tears and as Liqiu brought her violin to the piece … Shepard couldn't help but reach over and take Liara's hand. Liara looked over at Shepard and as she placed her hand over Shepard's she saw the tears building up in the human's eyes. This was the person that Liara was drawn to … the one that she wanted. The one that music spoke to. The one who heard the beauty of Akdhat. The one who could laugh as a child. The one who could move next to her with grace. Liara smiled at Shepard and then turned back to Liqiu. At the finish of the song Shepard stood up, clapping, and wiping her tears. "Thank you so much for the kind gift."

Aika saw her lover grin and give back a small bow before playing the next piece. Her Liqiu was a perfect judge of character and had just shown that she approved of this fellow human. By performing a piece for Shepard, it also made Aika give her approval of the relationship by standing and touching her forehead towards Shepard. Liara touched her forehead back as the crowd clapped but all of this was lost on Shepard. She just thought that this was part of the applause and sat back down to enjoy the rest of the show.

Liqiu then performed the piece that she had written for Aika over twenty years ago …苦樂參半 (Bittersweet). As it started, Shepard could hear the influence of the asari but there was more to it. There was a bitterness mixed in the sensuality. Liqiu's bow moved across the violin like a tormented woman would move against a dark lover. Shepard recognized the lover's pain in the music and shifted in her seat. Liara, like all the other asari, heard the pleasure and sensing Shepard shift looked down at her left leg crossed over the other. Should she risk it?

Shepard could feel Liara looking at her and found her body responding. _Seriously?_ She shifted again. _Listen here body, you might as well calm down. If you think that I am going to listen to you and touch her … well, you have another think coming. As far as you know this deceitful thing next to us has on poison lipstick … or plans on stabbing me to death._

Liara couldn't stop thinking how Shepard had responded to her touch and struggled on what to do next. _We are lovers_, Liara said to herself. _Or at least, we are supposed to be. If this were real then I would touch her. Why? _She debated with herself. _You never touched another like that. Not in public. So_, came her response. _They were … were asari. Shepard is human. They need more physically from their lovers. When did you become so well informed on humans?_ Liara reached over and placed her hand on Shepard's leg as she told herself, _leave me alone_.

Shepard's body went from warm to hot as Liara placed her hand on Shepard's left leg. It went up a few more degrees as she felt Liara pull her leg a little closer to her and she heard a small moan slip from her own throat. _Where is that awkward doctor?_ Shepard thought as Liara's hand moved up her leg and stop just short of being indecent. _Was that a front? And what is wrong with you body? Poison lipstick! Basic Instinct stabbing! Do not give in._

Liara could feel Shepard wanting her and gave a small smile. _Just a little pressure_, Liara thought to herself as her thumb pressed against Shepard's thigh. She heard her moan and shift in her seat and Liara's own breathing began to deepen. _What do I do now? How do I pull her into bed with me? Oh, Sibila where are you when I need you?_

Liara stopped breathing as she felt Shepard's breath against her neck, "Stop teasing me, Liara."

"Me?" Liara tried to sound confident. "I would never tease, Shepard."

"No?" Shepard removed her hand from her leg. "Well, whatever you are doing … stop. I'm a PK."

"PK?" Liara whispered back.

"Preacher's kid," Shepard winked. "No sex before marriage."

"Shepard," Liara smiled. "Now who is teasing?"

"Shh," Shepard smiled back and then motioned to the orchestra. "Behave or I'll tell my mother on you when you drop me off tonight. And my daddy has a gun."

* * *

><p>"How do you think it is going?" Ipomona asked Sibila as she put down a tile.<p>

"Liara is wishing I was there," Sibila answered, looking at her tiles. "And hopefully the human is feeling insecure."

"Insecure?" Ipomona looked up. "And how would that be a good thing?"

Sibila frowned at the tile played and squinted at her own tiles, "She is going to see every other asari as a threat … but not as she would have before. No. She won't be worried that they are after her ... Noooo. For some odd reason, she will worry that Liara will find them tempting. A human lover's jealousy. It can be a beautiful thing, Ipa!"

"Thanks to you," Ipomona got up and headed to the bar. "Would you like a refill?"

"Yes, please." Sibila picked up a tile, shook her head, put it back and bit her bottom lip. "Why did you have to play that one?"

"To challenge you," Ipomona answered, bringing the bottle of elasa over. "How did you know that Shepard desired Liara? Even the human did not realize it."

"Oh, please," Sibila holding a tile looked up, "I have been with a few humans. Some treat desire as the plague or worse … they become blind to their own needs. Shepard was blind and just needs a push … hopefully my dearest is pushing tonight. In more ways than one."

"But how did you know?" Ipomona asked, refilling the glasses.

Sibila placed a tile down and sat up, "Simple. She didn't look at Liara the way that she looked at us … that's how."

"How does she look at us?" Ipomona asked, looking at the tile Sibila played.

"Well, she looks at me with extreme concern," Sibila picked up her glass. "You … she looks at with a pleasantness … I don't know why."

"Because you are inappropriate with her," Ipomona answered. "Too forward."

"Oh, I know why she would prefer me to go away," Sibila laughed. "I was referring to you. Boring you."

Ipomona glared at Sibila, "I am not boring."

Sibila faked a yawn, "I am sorry … what did you say?"

"She is not the only one who would love to see you go away," Ipomona answered, returning her gaze to the tiles.

"As a human would say … Ouch!" Sibila laughed.

* * *

><p>With the party ending, Liara and Shepard said their good nights and entered a very crowded elevator. Shepard hated being pushed up against so many asari and Liara, separated by a cousin, looked over at her and mouthed, <em>are you okay<em>?

Before Shepard could answer, Captain and Tennille's _Love Will Keep Us Together_ began to play. This made Shepard laugh and mouth back, _not now_. Liara smiled and Shepard had to remind herself that she was still angry at Liara. It was easier to remember when she wasn't with her. Much easier. With her near, she had struggled on what she felt as her body had other plans. So through it all she kept repeating _poison lipstick, stabbing in bed and a fool's zone_.

As the asari began speaking in languages that her translator rejected, Shepard found herself listening to the song. At least she understood Tennille. Then as Tennille sang _you belong to me now, _it made both Shepard and Liara smile … Shepard out of embarrassment and Liara out of hope. Shepard wanted to rip the hidden speakers out wherever they were and quiet the sounds of the cheesy love song that was only embarrassing her more. Liara found she enjoyed the words that the woman was singing and even the silly sound of the music. Shepard looked over at Liara to find her head moving to the music and laughed. Fine. She would be angry at Liara tomorrow.

As the elevator began to clear on each floor, Liara moved closer to Shepard, "Did you have a nice time?"

Shepard thought of Liqiu playing _Malena _in her mother's memory and smiled, "Very."

"I am so pleased to hear that," Liara answered, just as Lorie's _Je Vais Vite_ bounced around the elevator. "Shepard … I know that you once told me that you were not attracted to me …"

Shepard looked at Liara and saw her struggling … saw her allowing Shepard to hurt her again. The willingness of Liara to be vulnerable yet again touched Shepard, but then she remembered Ismene's words. _The Matriarch is here_, she reminded herself. _Liara has not been honest and is probably working on a plan to kill you. What kind of idiot would open up to that? Sure Liara I like you and that knife you just shoved in my back._

"… but this evening I thought that maybe …"

Shepard looked out at the mountains … _What game are you playing, Liara_?

"… maybe you felt desire for me. That maybe you had changed how you felt."

"I do want you," Shepard heard herself say as her mind screamed _POISON LIPSTICK YOU FOOL!_

"I knew it!" Liara said, sounding more like a little girl opening a Christmas present. "I knew you felt it, too!"

"God help me," Shepard half-mumbled as she stepped away from the doors of the elevator and looked out at the stars.

Liara followed Shepard and stood facing her profile, "But … does this not seem rather strange?"

"Strange?" Shepard looked over at Liara. "My mind says it's wrong … but my body …" Shepard put her right hand on her stomach, "just standing this close to you … I … Dammit!"

Liara put her hand on Shepard's, "What do we do?"

"Nothing, Liara," Shepard answered. "There's no future for us and if we tried to make something of this … This would only end tragically. You would cut my throat after I eat our children type of tragic."

Liara didn't understand what Shepard was saying but turned away and for the remainder of the ride they were both silent.

* * *

><p>"Welcome back," Sibila greeted as the two entered the suite.<p>

Shepard went to her suite after nodding at Ipomona and Liara went to the shared bedroom.

"I do not think that the night went well," Ipomona said, putting a tile down.

"My how perceptive of you," Sibila rolled her eyes. "These two are making me work harder than I should have to."

"Because this is all about you," Ipomona said, sarcastically.

"Of course," Sibila glared. "These two are just making it harder than it needs to be!"

"And tonight it will be us three again," Ipomona smirked as she looked at her tiles and the layout.

"Not if I can help it," Sibila hurried to her cousin.

* * *

><p>"Oh, Siby!" Liara hugged her cousin as she entered the bedroom.<p>

"Shhh," Sibila calmed her as she reached back and shut the door. "What happened?"

"She desires me," Liara said through tears.

"So why are you crying?" Sibila asked, confused. "And why are you in here?"

"She said that we have no future," Liara answered. "And that she would eat our children."

"What?" Sibila had never heard of humans eating children. "You must have misunderstood, Li-Li."

"She was so beautiful tonight," Liara said as she pulled away. "You should have seen her face at Liqiu's concert. It lit up and she cried!"

"Did she?" Sibila sat on the bed and smiled. "The big bad warrior actually cried? Impossible!"

Liara gave her a small shove, "Do not make light of this … not tonight."

"Forgive me," Sibila said as she pulled Liara down next to her. "Now, tell me everything."

Liara spent the next twenty minutes telling her cousin about the evening, except for her conversation with Aika, and ended with "Seeing her tears … they tore at me … I felt that pain again, but I didn't care. What do I do?"

"You go to her," Sibila answered. "You touch her, dearest."

Liara shook her head, "No, she says that we have no future."

"Future?" Sibila stood up and wiped Liara's face, "Who's asking for the future? She's a SpecTRe! She'll be dead soon anyway."

"Siby!" Liara stood up angrily.

"I don't mean it like that," Sibila pouted. "I just mean that … forget the future. Just enjoy tonight."

"Tonight?" Liara looked towards the door.

"Trust me," Sibila took her by the hand and headed towards the door. "Humans have … oh, what do they call it? Oh, yes, one-night stands. If that is all that you can have with her … take it! After all, did you really want more?"

"More? I … I … I do not know what I want," Liara said, feeling the pain again.

"Exactly," Sibila smiled. "Maybe after tonight you will know what you want … and you will finally have had something other than one of us. How yummy! Then we can compare notes tomorrow. My humans against yours … oh, and take a vid of this so you can share."

"Siby!" Liara gave a small laugh.

* * *

><p>The bedroom was dimly lit, Erasure's <em>Perfect Stranger<em> playing softly as Shepard entered from the bathroom, patting herself dry with a towel. She had spent the last twenty and some minutes beating herself up for wanting Liara and then telling Liara that she was attracted to her. "How can you be so stupid! Telling her that you … agh! If she is using you … then you gave her ammunition! Next time you see her you will tell her that you were lying … No, that's cruel. Okay, you'll say that you were drunk."

As the next song began … Streisand singing of _Promises_ … there was a knock at the door. "Shepard?"

_No_, Shepard thought as she grabbed her robe and slipped it on, "Yes?"

"May I come in?" she heard Liara ask.

Shepard looked at the door, every part of her saying _NO_ … but she found herself going to it, unlocking it and opening it, "Sure."

"Have I offended you?" Liara asked, as Shepard shut the door and moved towards the dresser.

"No," Shepard answered, looking at Liara's body and wanting to touch her.

"Is there something that I have done to keep you from allowing me to touch you?" Liara asked, moving closer.

_Why are asari so blunt? _Shepard moved away to the other side of the bed … _And how many secrets are you keeping from me?_ She wanted to ask but said, "No … I'm just confused ... I've had too much to drink and I haven't had sex in a while and tonight was … nice … the music and you and my body."

Liara moved closer, "I would never hurt you, Shepard."

"Liara," Shepard began to protest as Liara let her skirt drop to the floor.

"If you want me to leave … I will," Liara said, fighting her nerves as she stepped forward.

Shepard looked at the asari's body and thought of her own body all scarred and damaged and pulled her robe tighter, "Please … you won't like what you see."

"Each body tells a story, Shepard," Liara said as she removed Shepard's hands and opened her robe.

Shepard watched as Liara looked at her and as she tried to hide one of the more offending scars with her hand, Liara stopped her ... "Please, Liara. It's ugly."

Liara gave Shepard a disapproving look, then looked down again at it and ran a finger over the scar ..."You are wrong, Commander. It is part of your past ... and it pleases me to look at your body and its stories."

"Liara," Shepard, feeling even more drawn to Liara with her words, still tried to fight, "this is wrong."

"Shall I leave?" Liara stopped and looked into Shepard's eyes. "Is that what you want, Shepard?"

Shepard looked into Liara's eyes, felt the ache between her legs and whispered, "No ... But we can never speak of this … Just tonight and then … no one can know. Promise."

"I promise," Liara placed her left hand past Shepard's robe and on her hip as she began to kiss her.

Shepard's heart began to beat hard against her chest as she felt Liara's tongue softly press against her lips and the sensation of her tongue was felt elsewhere as Liara used one of her gifts. _What devil is this?_ Shepard thought as Liara pulled her closer, her robe falling to the floor and that tongue moving deeper into her.

* * *

><p>Liara looked over at Shepard sleeping and smiled. She had pleased her and in turn was pleasantly surprised when she heard the Commander's responses to her touch. Asari were not as vocal as humans in bed and when she had moved past the foreplay, Shepard's cries caused an excitement in Liara that she had never felt before. Many asari found the humans a little too raw in bed for their tastes … calling them bapac (barbaric), but Liara found Shepard to be a challenge. There were times when she would stop Liara from touching her and when Liara slid on top and began to enter her with her fingers, Shepard quickly rolled on top of her and said she only liked it that way.<p>

Even in moments of pleasure she had walls. Places Liara could not touch … positions that Liara could not have her in. This part had frustrated her. Liara, after all, did not like to be told no. But Shepard would not give in and Liara did not press. The night had been different … the rhythm, the taste, the wetness, the smell, and the sounds. Liara's past experiences with asari had not prepared her for this but she had listened to Shepard's words of passion, watched Shepard's body respond to her touches and listened to her cries … _Thank you, Aika_, she had thought throughout the night.

Now, as Liara gently removed the strands of hair over Shepard's eyes, she thought how the human was so guarded and yet, she knew that Shepard had given her more than she had ever hoped for. "Elizabeth," Liara whispered, remembering Shepard asking her to use her Christian name as they moved to the bed. "Elizabeth Shepard."

She had loved the sound of Shepard's given name so much that she had went a little overboard using it. This had made Shepard laugh and put her hand over Liara's mouth, "Okay, Liara! Don't make me take back my request."

"Elizabeth, I will keep you safe," Liara whispered to Shepard. "Mother will protect us. You must trust me." Liara then felt another tear in her body and fought back crying out as she curled up in a ball until it passed. Once the pain subsided, she quietly got out of bed and moved towards the door. She had to meet the Matriarch in just an hour and needed to get ready. Soon everything would be as it should be and the Matriarch would know what to do. _Trust me Shepard … I'll have mother fix this_, Liara thought as she closed the bedroom door behind her.

* * *

><p>The silence in the room and Shepard's sleep was broken by Kylie Minogue's <em>Confide in Me<em> … Shepard rubbed her eyes and then stretched. Her body was sore, her legs weak and yet she was completely relaxed. She reached out to where Liara had been and found the other side of the bed empty. The absence did not worry Shepard, as she figured that Liara had gone back to her room. _Not that her nutty cousin won't figure it out,_ Shepard frowned._ I just hope that she doesn't say anything. Oh, stop kidding yourself … that nut job is going to be unbearable. Not that she wasn't already. Crap! _And with that, Shepard pulled the covers over her head.

As the song finished, Shepard pulled herself up and carefully headed for the shower. She couldn't believe how weak her legs were and as she turned on the hot water she smiled at the memory of the asari touching her. As she added a little cold water to the hot, she couldn't help but laugh over the way Liara kept saying her name. She reached between her legs and felt her body heat up as she remembered how Liara could kiss her and that touch was also felt down there … "No wonder your kind is chased after," she said. "Who needs to even get naked with that kind of wicked kissing."

Stepping into the shower, she turned on the iMuse and then looked down at her body. There she saw bruises where Liara had held her still as she had finally placed her tongue where Shepard had begged her to … "And who would have thought that you were such a brute," Shepard smiled as she poured shampoo into her hand. As she began to apply it into her hair she sang along with Cyndi Lauper ... _Echo_, echo, home, home.


	62. Mother & Child Reunion

Liara had showered and then put on a yellow dress designed by her mother's favorite … Lucunditas. She wanted the Matriarch to see that she was independent, mature and still very much a T'Soni ... She did not want her mother to think that her being with a human had taken away any of her gifts or that she was trying to be anything but a Corallium Circle asari. She fixed her gold headband with the blue diamonds and then grabbed her sandals. As she passed by Shepard's bedroom she fought the urge to look in at the sleeping Commander before leaving. She knew that if she peeked in though she would be drawn to her and this morning belonged to the Matriarch. It didn't matter ... the image of Shepard followed her out into the hallway and onto the elevator. She knew that she should be nervous but the memory of touching Shepard made her smile as she stood in the elevator headed for the White Rose Penthouse. That silly song began playing just as she stepped in and she knew that it was a sign ... _Mother will fix this and Shepard will be safe_. Liara touched her band and then thought, _Elizabeth will be safe_.

As the doors opened onto her mother's floor, Liara remembered Shepard taking her hand and wetting her fingers, then Shepard … _Elizabeth ..._ guided her hand down into her … Liara leaned against the open elevator door. _Do I have time?_ Liara couldn't help but think about returning to _Elizabeth's_ _bed_. Return to the sleeping woman just to please her again. But not only wasn't there time, she remembered Shepard saying only one night and she had promised. Promised to never speak of it. _But you touched her_, Liara smiled as she moved towards the double doors with the two commandos standing on each side. _She desired you_.

"Liara?" Ismene called out just as Liara passed her suite as the asari was on her way to breakfast with friends.

"Good morning," Liara smiled, unable to be rude or unfriendly to anyone she saw this morning.

"My," Ismene smiled back, "I see that you had a pleasurable night. Shepard? Or is there someone else here that I should taste?"

"Shepard," Liara couldn't help but answer as a silly grin appeared on her face.

"She has this effect after all these years?" Ismene asked, wanting the human even more.

"The Commander is unlike anyone I have ever known," Liara couldn't stop herself from saying.

Ismene looked over at the White Rose Penthouse and asked, "And you are not bringing this amazing erotas to meet the Matriarch?"

"The Matriarch requested to have her morning meal with me," Liara answered.

"But I would have thought that Shepard would have requested an introduction last night?" Ismene said.

"Why would she have done that?" Liara's smile gone.

"Oh, Liara," Ismene feigned concern, "I discussed the Matriarch's presence here with Shepard last night. You can imagine my horror to learn that she was completely unaware that your mother … I mean, the Matriarch was here. She was so surprised she dropped her drink in fact. I do apologize if I caused you any displeasure with Shepard."

Liara bit her tongue, held her anger as her mind raced. _What must you think? Oh, Shepard! Please understand why this was not told to you … please Athame, help her understand_. Liara looked down at her bracelet and touched the cross, _please Hannah or this cross god please help her understand._ Liara pulled herself together and thanked Ismene, "Shepard did not mention it but she trusts me … The Matriarch has been planning on meeting Shepard but she wants the timing to perfect. I am hopeful that it will be soon."

"I am sure that it will be," Ismene smiled back, waving the seven asari out into the hallway. "If you and Shepard are free tonight, maybe you would like to come to my suite for … dinner? Please consider it."

"We will consider it," Liara answered, trying to keep her thoughts centered. "But I believe that Shepard has other plans for us … somewhere more human."

"How daring of you," Ismene reached out and placed Liara's hand on her own breast, "I would so love to please you, Liara. And if your lover could be encouraged to join … We could please her together. We could even have others join. Shepard should experience the touch of many."

Liara thought of Shepard being touched by Ismene and wanted to slap her but that perioikos response would dishonor her family … it would dishonor her mother. And so Liara just smiled and excused herself by kissing the asari on the cheek. Liara then moved towards the White Rose and as she came within a few feet, the door opened and there stood the Matriarch.

* * *

><p>Shepard heard movement in the main living area and hoped that it was Liara. She found that she couldn't stop smiling and wanted to see if Liara felt the same way. She knew that they couldn't be together but that didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy her company, did it? So as she entered the main area she frowned. Sibila was having breakfast and Ipomona was just finishing corresponding with her mother back on Thessia.<p>

Sibila grinned at Shepard as she said to Ipomona, "And the noise! Tsk, tsk. Whoever was being pleasured was so much louder than I have heard before! Those cries and such deep moans … made me touch myself. And the banging on the walls! I hope that those sounds did not keep you up, Shepard."

"Okay, okay," Shepard felt her cheeks turn red. "Have your fun! Where is Liara?"

"Liara?" Ipomona looked up.

"She is still asleep," Sibila answered, covering for her cousin. "It seems that she had a _hard_ time sleeping last night. I'm sure those sounds kept her awake ... wide awake."

Shepard looked over at the closed door and thought about waking her but not with nut job there. No. So Shepard looked over at Ipomona, "Would you like to go have breakfast with me?"

Ipomona smiled, "That would be nice."

"What about me?" Sibila asked, with a half finished plate before her.

"Not this trip," Ipomona said. "You stay here alo … with Liara."

"Fine!" Sibila glared at her and then looked at Shepard, "Make sure that you eat enough to strengthen your legs, Commander. I am sure that my cousin will be hungry when she wakes up. The second … oh, wait … I counted at least four last night by the pauses … so the fifth time you might even break through the wall."

Shepard looked over at the asari and wondered how she was related to Liara, "I only counted twice."

"Those were long twices then," Sibila said with a salacious grin.

_You cannot be related to her_, Shepard thought. But she continued on, "Could you please let Liara know that our date … the one that was planned for last night … will be tonight. Only if she wants to, of course."

"Oh, she wants," Sibila laughed. "She wants, Shepard."

Shepard shook her head and headed for the door as Ipomona glared at her.

* * *

><p>"I have missed you," the Matriarch said as they sat down together in the living area.<p>

"Oh, mother," Liara began to cry the Matriarch pressed her hand against her daughter's cheek. "I am lost without you … empty without your grace."

The Matriarch lifted Liara's face up towards her by the chin, "You have not forgotten me in the embrace of the human?"

Liara buried her face against her mother's neck, "Mother! I have prayed for you daily and wished only to be in your presence."

"That does bring my heart comfort," the Matriarch whispered as she motioned for her acolytes to give them privacy. "I had feared that you would have turned against me as my own sister has … as the Councilor has ... I am alone."

"No, mother," Liara pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Theia would never turn against you … and the Councilor only desires that you come to her! She has placed me under her protection in your name."

"Her protection?" the Matriarch spit out and then softened, "Forgive me. Not having you close … to look upon your face has left me saddened and often barren of feelings."

"Then return with me to the Citadel," Liara asked, sitting up as her eyes pleaded. "The Councilor has sent her respect and wish that you come to her … we could stay there until everything is safe."

"Return with you?" the Matriarch pulled away from Liara and stood up, her back to her daughter. "You would leave your human? This … SpecTRe?"

"Shepard would understand," Liara said, wishing her mother to turn around. To look at her. "Oh, mother … she is wonderful! Even Aika has accepted her!"

As Liara went on about Shepard, the Matriarch's eyes narrowed but her words were sweet, "This human does seem exceptional. But she is hunting me … if she gets close …" the Matriarch turned around, her face softened, "I fear that she might raise a hand towards me. That would leave me with no alternative but to hurt her."

"Hurt Shepard?" Liara stood up, "Please mother, I … I …" the pain began again and Liara fell to the floor.

"So it is true," the Matriarch smiled. "You are trying to bond with this human!"

"Mother!" Liara cried out, curled in a ball. "It hurts!"

The Matriarch bent down and picked up her daughter, "Open up to me Liara … Let mother in. I have something to give you."

"Yes, mother!" Liara answered, burying her face into the Matriarch's neck.

* * *

><p>"And what is this called again?" Ipomona asked, picking up her cup.<p>

"Chocolate Chaud," Shepard smiled. "Don't the asari have chocolate on Thessia?"

Ipomona shook her head as she took another sip, "Not anything like this ... Would it be improper if I order a second cup?"

"No," Shepard laughed, picking up her coffee cup and turning to the Essex House's combo band Macédoines who was performing _Avec Le Temps_. She waited until the asari had ordered another cup and then turned back to her. "Ipa, about last night."

"Last night," Ipomona looked at the band and then Shepard, "You did not know that you desired her?"

"No," Shepard answered, needing Ipomona to know that she had not intentionally lied to her when she had said that she was not attracted to Liara.

Ipomona tilted her head slightly, "But how? Are humans that unaware of their desires?"

"You asari never …" Shepard looked down at her half-eaten breakfast, "I mean, you've never seen someone in a new light?"

Ipomona thought of Liara and nodded, "Been awakened? Yes. That was Liara … so it seems that is one of her gifts."

"Gifts?" Shepard put down her coffee cup. "Like some type of dark magic of seduction gift?"

"No," Ipomona shook her head. "I do not know how to explain to you … but it is not something that would make you do what is not in your nature. I did not mean to imply that it was a gift that could make you desire her, Commander, if that is what you are concerned about."

"Of course not," Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. "Now I feel foolish."

"Do not feel foolish," Ipomona said. "There is much about us that you do not know … and much that you will never know. But if you are to come into our world … Liara is wise choice. She is not …"

"Sibila?" Shepard smiled.

Ipomona gave a small laugh, "Sibila has so much to learn … but she will grow into someone that will be a friend. She is still young and has yet developed parts of her. I have to remind myself that … and often."

"But Liara isn't like her," Shepard said, picking up her cup.

"Don't be deceived," Ipomona said. "They are quite alike internally … still developing and not sure who they are."

Shepard thought of Liara and Sibila but couldn't see … okay, they spent hours chatting away and even giggling. Shepard didn't know what kept them so animated as they always spoke in that cursed tongue. There had to be something there that bound them together. But Shepard hoped that Liara did not have her cousin's appetite. That nut job could disappear at a drop of the hat when someone she liked appeared. The asari made nymphomaniacs seem like puritans.

Ipomona could see Shepard struggling and broke the silence between them, "I hope that I have not made you doubt Liara. You have found favor in her sight and I hope that you feel the same."

Shepard looked at the asari across from her and found that she did not want to lose her friendship. "Liara and I have no future … even if we did love one another. We would be like a fish and a bird trying to live together."

"Has Liara spoken of a future?" Ipomona asked.

"No," Shepard shook her head. "But if we were to continue to see each other then … well, what then?"

"Then would take care of itself," Ipomona answered. "Shepard, take each day as a blessing … let your thoughts, your eyes really see today. There is no one that is guaranteed tomorrow."

"True," Shepard answered. "But why would you encourage me? You want her."

"Yes," Ipomona said.

Shepard waited for more but saw that the asari was offering nothing more. "Okay," Shepard pushed. "If she were with me then you wouldn't be able to be with her."

"Would I not?" Ipomona asked, confused.

"Well," Shepard was just as confused now, "she would be with me. Or would you try and take her?"

"Take her?" Ipomona frowned. "Is Liara a possession? Would you treat her as one?"

"A possession?" Shepard shook her head, "Of course not. But if we were together then I would not want her sleeping with others."

"I see," Ipomona said but truly did not understand why. "Then you would forbid her from the pleasures of others?"

"So the nut … Sibila wasn't pulling my chain?" Shepard asked. "You really don't mind your lovers sleeping around?"

"What is physical pleasure?" Ipomona asked.

Shepard thought of her night with Liara and her body woke up, "Well, it … uh … it's better than ice cream or chocolate. More satisfying but with less calories. It also includes exercise and apparently the weakening of the legs, at least momentarily. And something that amazing should be … uh … special … shared just with someone special."

"This is a human custom?" Ipomona asked.

"That is apparently not shared with the asari," Shepard frowned.

"There are some who do not find pleasure outside of a bond," Ipomona tried to explain. "But that choice is left only to that person. We do not make demands of physical pleasures on each other. I believe that you call it monogamy?" Shepard nodded. "If an asari were to choose than it would be only at her desire … not her lover's."

"So Liara would expect to take lovers?" Shepard felt her stomach turn.

"She did with her past lovers," Ipomona said.

"Past lovers?" Shepard's stomach tightened further. "How many past lovers?"

"Forgive me," Ipomona stopped. "I am doing a dishonor to Liara … this is what you should discuss with her. Her past should come from her. But if you were to continue spending time with Liara I will wait until you have finished."

"Well, that's big of you," Shepard chortled. "What happens if I keep her for the next fifty years or so?"

"Just that short of time?" Ipomona said, without humor. "I can wait."

"Damn you, asari," Shepard shook her head. "I guess you can out wait us humans with each other. But I'll take it. If I were to stay with Liara I'm not built to share her but … if I had to … not with someone I would like to be friends with."

Ipomona smiled and gave a small bow of her head, "Then I will honor your request and wait until you release me from this or you die."

"Till I die," Shepard half-repeated to herself, "Giving my line of work, Ipa, you won't have to wait long."

* * *

><p>There was darkness and pain as Liara opened her mind … something was wrong and Liara found that she could not reach out to her mother ... Instead she heard herself scream and then there was silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence in a darkness. And then it started … the static of her mother … the music … the light … the warmth … she reached out and she knew that she was safe. Benezia had seen the corruption trying to swallow Liara ... trying to taint her. And she had emerged to put the darkness to sleep … binding it long enough to protect what was most important to her ... Her daughter.<p>

She let Liara's mind clear and then began to approach … the music leading the way as her daughter reached out to her. She could feel the change in her daughter … the imprints of another. Human. It was a sweetness that first hinted at the bond that was starting to form. But there was also pain and confusion and it was this part that she needed to heal ... It was time to re-enter the garden and tend it. Left to someone else and they might strip away what was wildflowers and leave what was weeds. What appeared to be one may in fact be the other ... only a mother knew how to discern between the two. It was, after all, her garden. She told her daughter that there was not much time and that she had to move her through the next phase quickly.

Liara pressed back that she had been with a human. Elizabeth Shepard. And Benezia listened as Liara shared all that was this Commander as she slowly picked and watered and pulled and seeded. Benezia felt sadness when Mindoir was mentioned but the feeling was washed away as she felt her daughter's joy at finding favor with the human. She also felt her confusion, her pain, her struggle to connect and she filled the air with her love. She explained to her daughter what it meant to bond … the four pillars that were to be built around a daer … admiration, assurance, affection and attentiveness. As she taught Liara, Benezia did what was only the right of a mother ... she peeked behind doors of secrecy. This was not done to discuss in the light of day or for curiosity. It was done by a mother in order to see what else she needed to help her daughter with. Benezia needed to also understand how her daughter was responding to the human and the secret rooms showed her curiosity, her tenderness, her possessiveness, her insecurities, her vulnerability, her fearlessness, her hunger and her dreams. They were a combination of Liara, Benezia, the T'Soni line and a dash of Aethyta. _Off course_, Benezia had smiled as she saw her offspring's possessiveness and jealousy.

Benezia took her time as she moved the young asari through the webs that separated her from the next phase and her daughter's will made it a challenge as it was both strong and at times stubborn. But with Benezia leading the way, Liara not only was not strong enough to fight but she also worshipped her mother's presence. The stubbornness, however, reared its head as Benezia tried to clear out the possessiveness and jealousy in her daughter. Liara fought her and Benezia, feeling herself weaken from all the time hiding away did all that she could … but she knew that her time was too short to teach all that she wanted. All that she needed. A few weeds would remain and Benezia hoped that in time Liara would pull them herself. There was so much that she wanted to share with her daughter but darkness was starting to stir and Benezia could not let Liara stay inside the corruption any longer. She loved her daughter, making the warmth stronger than ever before … this was the last time and she knew it. The corruption had eaten away too much of her mind and her hiding place was growing smaller.

Liara could feel her mother pulling away and she cried out to keep her. But it was no use. As Benezia faded away from her, Liara heard her mother tell her to not always believe what she saw … "Trust your instincts, Liara. Move carefully …Don't lose your way. She'll need you ...You must be strong!" Liara tried yet again to pull her mother back to her, but there was a darkness coming and she felt her mother rip her away. Liara screamed out in pain and anger as her mother's presence was gone and the darkness rushed towards her. Then there was nothing. Liara woke up on the floor at the Matriarch's feet.

As she looked up she could see that her mother was in a daze and quickly stood up, "Mother!"

The corrupted Matriarch did not know what happened. _Maybe the ΕπZρεάζYω did not work when you were brought into the beauty of the reapers_, she reasoned. It did not matter. Liara would see the light soon enough but first the human … "Liara, I am fine."

"Shall I get you something to drink?" Liara asked, worried that her trying to pull her mother back this time hurt her.

"No," the Matriarch answered, sitting down and pointing for Liara to sit at her feet.

Liara sat back on her knees as she once again made her plea, "Mother, let us go to the Citadel."

"Not yet," the Matriarch answered. "There is someone that I must stop first."

"Saren!" Liara almost shouted. "I knew that you were not working with him!"

The Matriarch smiled, _no … not Saren, Liara. Shepard_. "I am inspirited to see that you have not lost faith in me."

"I would never doubt you," Liara said.

"I am glad to hear that," the Matriarch smiled. "Liara, I need you to go with me … I fear that without you by my side the enemy may succeed."

"You want me with you?" the words were like honey to Liara. The Matriarch needing her was all she ever wanted … "Of course, mother."

"But first," the Matriarch bent forward. "I would like to meet this Shepard."

"I can call her," Liara began to stand but was motioned by the Matriarch to stay as is.

"Before I meet her," the Matriarch began as she produced a vial, "we must protect the human. This vial contains a … type of sedative that will make her more receptive. I would not normally ask that someone be … oh, numbed when meeting me. But this will assure that we can talk in peace."

Liara looked at the vial in her mother's hand, "But mother, Shepard will not harm you. I would not let her."

"Of course not," the Matriarch took her free hand and cupped Liara's face. "But humans can be so unpredictable, Liara. Better to protect that which you desire. And you do desire her?"

The memory of Shepard at the concert came to her mind, "Yes … even as it hurts to do so."

The Matriarch placed the vial in Liara's hand, "Then do I say … tell the human that I will meet her here in my suite after the midday chime alone. But before that time, you will take that vial and empty it into her drink during her morning meal … all of it. Then you are to leave and meet my shuttle at the private port."

Liara looked at the clear liquid and didn't understand … "But mother …"

"Do not question me, Liara!" the Matriarch said in anger.

"No, mother," Liara quickly responded, not wanting to upset the Matriarch.

The Matriarch softened and as she walked her to the door continued, "You must follow these instructions to the letter … Empty the vial in her drink, then leave to meet me at the private port … You will wait there until I have met with the SpecTRe and guaranteed her that I will not only help her ... but that Saren will no longer be a problem for her. Then you and I will go to the Citadel and never be separated again."

Liara kissed and hugged her mother, held the vial tightly in her hand and headed back to the Lavender Suite. _See Shepard_, Liara smiled as she pressed her floor number in the elevator, _Mother is working against Saren and will help you. And she needs me. Mother needs me!_


	63. A Cursive Professor

Liara had made a few side trips before returning to the Lavender Suite, giving Sibila time to invite an asari over that she had met in the club Λξό. As Liara opened the door to the suite, she peeked in to make sure that Shepard was not in the main living area. Seeing that the coast was clear, she moved quickly and quietly into the shared bedroom where Sibila greeted her as the visitor asked her to join. Liara shook her head no, as Sibila left the bed and followed her into the bathroom.

Speaking just loud enough so that her companion in the other room could not hear, Sibila asked how the visit between the Matriarch and Liara had gone. "She was pleased with seeing you?"

"Siby, mother needs me," Liara said, smiling, as she put the bag from Hespere down on the counter.

"Then it went well!" Sibila hugged her cousin, "And here I was worrying so."

Liara looked over at the asari waiting in bed and gave a frown, "As I can see."

"What?" Sibila waved at her companion as she slowly shut the door. "I had to do something! Boring Ipa and your loud lover left me all alone!"

"You did not tell her where I went, did you?" Liara asked her eyes all wide.

"Me?" Sibila began to peer into the bag. "I told her just what you said … you were sleeping."

"Thank you," Liara said, moving her away as she pulled out the items.

"Now that you are back," Siby said, leaning against the counter, "Did you like it? Experiencing it bapac style?"

"Shepard was not …" Liara couldn't help but smile at the memory and shook her head, "I will not discuss this with you."

"Fine," Siby said, running her fingers over the bag. "Keep those loud, rough, sweaty and wall beating moments with a bapac to yourself."

"Were you spying?" Liara asked, pulling her hand away.

"Me?" Siby shook her head no, "Please! Her moans and cries were probably heard in the suite next to us … and then there was you and your _Elizabeth! Elizabeth!_"

Liara waved her hands as she accused her cousin of spying, "You were at the door! You could not have heard my voice in here! And Shepard was not that loud!"

Sibila laughed, "I admit that I may have listened in … but the way the bed moved against the wall. Hmph! That banging I am sure was heard in the other suite."

Liara gave a small giggle at the memory and then went back to looking at the items she purchased, "Where did Shepard and Ipa go?"

"They went out for breakfast," Sibila said. "Shepard asked me to tell you that your date cancelled yesterday is tonight. Unless you do not want to go. Maybe you should keep her in again and try for another two times."

Liara looked over at her cousin, "How? Did you see us?"

"How could I?" Sibila asked in frustration. "Someone locked the door!"

"Sibila T'Soni!" Liara turned to face Sibila, hands on her hips, "Then how did you know that it was twice?"

"Your soldier girl told me," Sibila grinned.

"Shepard …" Liara caught her breath. "What did she say?"

"That is all," Sibila pouted. "She was quite rude to me … you should tell her to be nice."

Liara could not see any reason why Shepard would tell her cousin how many times that she had brought her to … Liara stopped. Thinking about this made her feel … both pain and edacious. Liara held her stomach and asked Sibila to leave her. "I have a few things to do."

"In here?" Sibila asked, looking around. "Are you going to pleasure yourself? If you would like you can have Chara … She likes you, I can tell."

"Not everything is about that," Liara scolded, as she pushed her to the door.

* * *

><p>As the hours ticked away, Liara began to pace after she had placed a white gardenia on Shepard's pillow with a card. Over the past two hours, these two items were placed, removed and replaced on the pillow too many times to count as Liara struggled with herself. Sibila had said that Shepard would like them but was this improper? Did this break her promise of never mentioning last night? Would Shepard be angered by her gifts? Her doubt had her about to return to the room to remove the gifts when Shepard and Ipomona returned.<p>

Liara, panicked, raced to the shared room with Ipa and Sibila, cursing at herself for not removing the items earlier. As the minutes went by with no sound from Shepard, Liara's fear only grew. _Oh, Liara! She is going to be angry! You promised! Why are you so … oh! _

Shepard felt her own heart race when she walked in and was disappointed not to see Liara, but she still felt happier than she had in a long time. Shepard, wanting to take a nice hot shower, excused herself and went to her own room. As she flipped on her iMuse and the Ronettes sang _Be My Baby_, Shepard kicked off her heels as she danced and sang with them … _Be my little baby__! __My one and only baby!_ In her moving about, Liara's gifts were overlooked as Shepard danced to the bathroom.

_She must be angry! Why must you do these things? Maybe I could blame Sibila! No! Stop it, Liara! _The silence was putting Liara on the ledge and so she exited her room and tried listening in at the Commander's door. She heard the music and just as she was about to try the door she felt someone press against her. Thinking it was Shepard she gave out a small yelp and turning around saw Sibila grinning.

"I see you found my favorite station," Sibila teased.

"Shhh!" Liara pulled her away. "I need you to do something for me."

"Really?" Sibila leered, "I thought you would never offer."

As Sibila headed for the door, Liara pulled her back, "Siby! I need you to get the flower and card off Shepard's bed if she has not seen them yet."

Sibila frowned but agreed. As she opened the door slowly and entered the suite quietly, she heard the shower and waved Liara over as Enigma's _Boum-Boum_ covered any sound they might make. "I don't think she saw it," Sibila whispered as they both looked at the items. "And here you were worried."

Just as Sibila started to reach for the items Shepard walked out naked with a towel in her hand. Seeing Sibila in the room she quickly covered herself, and asked, "Why are you in here?"

Sibila and Liara, who had not been seen, both screamed out in surprise … Sibila turning around and Liara knocking over a vase on a table. "Me?" Sibila moved to the headboard and looked at the wall, "I was just checking for … uh … damages. Helping the hotel and all. Clean! No damage. Well … my work here is done. Nice towel."

Shepard watched as Sibila walked out and as Liara tried following, Shepard stepped in front of her path, "Liara? The truth."

"The truth?" Liara looked back at the vase, "I need to have that cleaned up. You could cut yourself."

Shepard looked back at the bed as Liara stumbled over her words and saw the gifts. "Don't move."

Liara watched as Shepard walked over to the gifts, picked up the gardenia and smelled it … then the card. Liara held her stomach, which felt as if there were bats beating about, as the Commander opened the envelope and pulled out the card. The cover was a tree by a lake on Lusia, the type that Liara had presented to her and Shepard's smile grew as she opened the card. The left side was a sketch of Shepard sleeping on her side. Her hair falling over her face as the sheet fell below her hip. On the right side, Liara had written in English …

_Dear Elizabeth Shepard,_

_Words are empty and cannot express what I felt with you. _

_Thank you for sharing a part of you with me last night._

_Sincerely, _

_Liara T'Soni_

"And in cursive!" Shepard smiled as she looked over at Liara. "Are you trying to make me feel bad?"

"No," Liara shook her head. "I thought that you humans exchanged gifts."

Shepard smelled the flower again and then put them down on the nightstand. "And what else have you heard about us humans?"

"That you do not eat children," Liara said, looking at the flower.

"What?" Shepard couldn't help but laugh at how serious the asari said it. "No … no, we normally don't."

"Do you want me to take the gifts back?" Liara asked, fighting the urge to kiss Shepard.

"You touch my flower and card and I'll have to hurt you," Shepard smiled as she headed to the bathroom to turn the water off. "I was hoping to take you to dinner and a show at the Lowndes Hotel … but only if you want."

Liara could hear Shepard in the other room and knew that she had to tell her, "Shepard!" Liara called out.

Shepard reappeared in her bathrobe, "The reservation for dinner is in a couple hours ... so I thought I would jump in the shower and start getting ready."

"I would like nothing more than to be with you tonight … but you need to know something, first." Liara moved closer to the exit as she took a deep breath, "I saw mother this morning … she has been here all along but we had to wait until she requested our presence."

Shepard's forgotten sense of betrayal mixed with the words of Shiala came back to her and she clinched her fists tight, "What? Dammit, Liara! How could you go alone? We came here to speak to her together! Together!"

"Shepard!" Liara watched as the human began to curse in Hannah's tongue as she stormed off into the other room. Liara heard things being shoved about as the human continued to let off her anger. Liara heard the anger in the strange language, thought of the vial and knew that the Matriarch was wiser than her. _If Shepard were to act this way in front of her … or worse_. "Shepard?" Liara peeked into the bathroom.

"Give me a minute!" Shepard knew that her anger was not going to help the situation and as she leaned forward, her hands on the counter, she looked into the mirror … she felt Liara move carefully closer to her. _Deep breaths. Just take deep breaths. You're scaring Liara._

"Shepard, she is on our side," Liara whispered as she stood ready to run. "She wants to see you in her suite midday tomorrow."

Shepard dropped her head, looking down into the sink and then slowly stood up as she looked at Liara, "Why did you go alone? Why did you keep this from me?"

"We could not see the Matriarch until she requested," Liara explained as if to a child. "It is our custom that we wait on Matriarchs … to have shown up would have seen her turn us away. To have dishonored ourselves … and my action would have dishonored her."

"You're her daughter!" Shepard was finding the asari difficult to understand. "How could you showing up to see your own mother a dishonor? If it were my mother … not showing up would show disrespect."

"Shepard, she is a Matriarch, first and foremost," Liara continued.

Shepard shook her head and walked back into the bedroom, plopping down into the white leather chair, "I just don't get you creatures."

Liara felt the sting at the word _creatures_ but pushed it aside as she squat down in front of Shepard and took her hands, "Commander, I knew that she would request my presence first and I did not want you to worry. But I spoke to her and she wants to meet you … to help you."

Shepard didn't know what to believe as she looked into Liara's eyes. Was the Matriarch really going to help or was she as Shiala said? That the Matriarch was indoctrinated and that she would deliver Liara to Saren? Was Liara also a part of the lies? As Tracy Chapman told the listener to _Tell It Like It Is_ … Shepard looked over at the bed and wondered if that was all part of the game. Had even that been part of the deception?

Liara saw Shepard's mind racing and when her head turned to look at the bed she felt a pain … as if Shepard had cut her heart out and to cover the pain she placed anger over it, "Do not think that, Shepard!"

Shepard saw Liara stand up and head for the door. "No, Liara! Wait!" Liara stopped with her back to Shepard as she fought back the bitter words that were pushing against her lips. Shepard stood up, wishing that she knew what was the truth and what were the lies and how all of this was going to end. "You once asked me how I knew when to share and when to withhold information."

"You said that you didn't always know," Liara whispered, but did not turn around.

"I still don't." Shepard should have told Liara what Shiala had said but now … how could she? Liara needed to believe in the Matriarch and to take that away from her just seemed too cruel. This was her mother. Shepard thought of Hannah and cursed her own inability to see what was needed. _You are going to see the Matriarch tomorrow_, she reasoned with herself. _Why tell Liara? Maybe Shiala is wrong. Or maybe Liara has been deceiving me_. Shepard looked over at the gifts … gifts that had to be special. The drawing. Shepard felt all torn up inside and sat down defeated on her bed. She was so tired of these highs and lows … of wanting the asari but afraid of her.

Liara heard Shepard sit on the bed and turned around. "Shepard, I understand why you cannot trust me … I do not begrudge your suspicions. But I am a T'Soni … a member of the Corallium Circle … I will not accept you questioning what we shared last night. I wanted you for no other reason than desire."

"I believe you," Shepard said, her head starting to hurt. "After all, I woke up in the morning without a knife stuck in my chest."

Liara watched as Shepard lowered her head, closed her eyes and began rubbing her temples. She wanted to go to her, try and alleviate the pain … but she was still angry and hurt by Shepard's words. Liara turned off the iMuse and said, "Do you still want to go to the human hotel? Or have you no wish to see me?"

"You would go out with someone who doesn't trust you?" Shepard asked, still rubbing her temples.

"Only if you pay," Liara said, glad that the Shepard storm had passed, her own anger fading and no one had died. _Mother is right … Shepard's anger may work against her … it couldn't hurt to give her something to keep her calm._

"Only if you put out afterwards," Shepard teased.

"Put out what?" Liara asked.

Shepard laughed as she looked up at Liara, "Okay, Gracie … say goodnight."

Liara sat down in the chair, removing her shoes and curling her legs up against her side, "May I ask you something, Shepard?"

Shepard looked over at Liara, a breast almost exposed and her eyes so blue and teased, "Yes, Liara … I'm on the pill so you're safe. There won't be any child support in your near future."

"Shepard? You cannot get …" Liara saw the smirk on Shepard's face and groaned.

"Sorry," Shepard smiled as she looked into her eyes.

Liara could not remember the question as they looked at each other and for a few minutes neither said a word. Liara wanted to touch Shepard … to somehow make her trust her. "I heard that song in the elevator again."

"What song?" Shepard asked, standing up and walking to her.

"That song about love keeping us together," Liara smiled, as Shepard leaned over her.

Shepard loved the way Liara smelled; even her breath reminded her of cinnamon. And as she moved closer to Liara she felt as if the asari would let her do whatever she wanted and what she wanted wasn't to touch her … but to trust her. "Does your kind love, asari?"

"Yes," Liara gave a quizzical look up at Shepard's face that was so close to hers. "Did you think that we do not?"

"I don't mean your mother," Shepard pulled away, "… or your family. Do you fall in love with a person?"

Liara shifted in her seat, not sure how to answer that question. There were many different types of connection in life. "Why are you asking?"

Shepard picked up the card, "I've been talking to your nutty cousin and Ipa … How can your kind be so cavalier when it comes to sex?" Shepard put the card down and turned to Liara. "I'm not saying that we humans don't have sex outside of a marriage but … It really doesn't mean anything to you if your lover went off for the night to be with someone else? And you would do the same?"

"What is physical pleasure?" Liara asked. "If another pleases you then I would not want to keep you from that enjoyment."

Shepard brushed her hair back, frustrated at the answer but not sure why. "And it wouldn't bother you that if we were together in a committed relationship that I shacked up with someone like Medusa?"

The thought of Ismene touching Shepard brought Liara up out of the chair, "Do you want her? Is that why you are asking these questions? If that is what you want then …"

"No," Shepard cut her off, "But would you care? I mean … it's like a group that believes in free love and open marriages and … and I have no right to judge … I know that. But I could never be in a relationship like that. I mean, if that type of behavior makes you happy … doing whoever, whenever. There are plenty of humans that will love that! Plenty! And you can make money off of them … but … for me. I guess I really am just a PK. And I want to have what my parents had ... some day."

Liara had been aware of the reputation of the asari since she began to leave Thessia and while she had found the rumors and misconceptions insulting to her people … like most asari she let the other species just think what they would. But now she hated seeing Shepard think of her and her people like all the others did … as _blue whores_. _Aliens that only cared about their own pleasures and did not develop true bonds. _Shepard had to understand the truth … or at least why the asari did not put as much sanctity around that type of experience. So she moved closer and took Shepard's hand, "Shepard, I know how it may appear to a species that has only the physical to express their devotion. But where others are limited to the physical … we asari have a way to touch each other's minds … we call it melding."

"Melding?" Shepard thought of what Shiala did to her and remembering the pain sat down on the bed, "This gives you the ability to share with each other and transfer things … asari to asari. Even others species if needed."

"Yes," Liara sat down next to her. "You know about melding?"

"An asari back on Feros did it to me," Shepard answered. "She also explained how your kind used it from birth … I mean she didn't go into great detail but I get the gist."

Liara stiffened, the thought of another asari inside Shepard made her angry, "One of my kind?"

"Are there other species that can do that?" Shepard looked over at her. "If so, warn me now."

"Why would you let her?" Liara angrily asked, standing up.

"Gee, Liara," Shepard shot back, "I don't know … it sounded like fun. She said, hey human girl … can I shove an ice pick between your eyes over and over while spilling a cipher into your pea brain? I said … hey, sounds better than Disneyland! Come right in, little girl blue! Ashley even took pictures while I was enjoying the ride."

"Who was she?" Liara demanded as she began to pace back and forth.

"It was a one-night stand," Shepard answered. "I just called her Sharon Stone."

Liara looked down at Shepard, angry not only because another asari had touched Shepard but that she could have killed her in the process. "You cannot let just anyone in! Do you know what she could have done to you?"

Shepard could see that Liara was angry and she found it funny … "Brainwash me into thinking I was a volus? No! Put me in that Princess Leia outfit with a collar and treat me like she was Jabba the Hut?"

"This is not funny!" Liara, not understanding most of what Shepard had just said, still knew that it was a flippant response and scolded her as she looked more like a professor. "Have you any idea what type of risk you took?"

"No, Dr. T'Soni … what type of risk?" Shepard giggled as she stood up and pulled Liara to her.

"She could have killed you!" Liara warned, as Shepard hugged her.

"Calm down," Shepard hugged her tighter as Liara tried half-heartily to pull away.

"Promise me that you will never allow that to happen again," Liara said, no longer fighting Shepard's hug.

"Trust me, Liara," Shepard said, pulling away to look up into her face. "I have no plans on doing that again. It was painful and knocked me on my butt. I can't imagine that you would find pleasure in that."

"There is no pain … usually," Liara explained, as Shepard moved away from her. "We meld to connect, to share memories, to grow … to become pregnant. Not to be hurt."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last part," Shepard said as she walked back into the bathroom and two seconds later came back out, "Wait! You did say pregnant?"

"Our physiology allows us to meld with others," Liara answered. "We can touch the very depths of another's mind and while there we explore the genetic memory of their species. We then share the most basic elements of their individual and racial identities. These traits are then passed on to our daughters."

"Well you have no men," Shepard said, looking at Liara. "Leave it to a group of women to perfect the mind fuck. Only … it sounds like less fun then the human way. Yours sounds more like a Vulcan's wet dream."

"We are not women," Liara said, following Shepard back into the bathroom where she watched Shepard start to brush her teeth.

"So, let me get this straight," Shepard said, a mouth full of toothpaste, "Because you make babies in your head … or at least get knocked up that way … it means that sex is just sex?"

Liara shook her head, "When an asari not only desires but loves someone, she will join with that individual in a completely different way. The joining is a very deep and spiritual exchange. It is not based off physical desire although that may be part of the initial attraction. But a true union goes far beyond both physical pleasures and normal melding. It is a connection that transcends the physical … where the two become as one. Their thoughts and senses merge ... their identities intertwine. Memories and emotions weave themselves together, becoming entangled in a single, rapturous whole."

Shepard stopped brushing her teeth and after rinsing out her mouth asked, "Are you saying that for you to make love to me … you would go inside me? Inside my head? Just like Sharon Stone did? This is what gets you off?"

Liara could see that the idea was upsetting the human, "Shepard, the union is more than just a sexual pleasure ... It is the life blood of my species."

"No," Shepard shook her head, "That is sitruuna! Sharon Stone told me that."

"How long were you with this Sharon?" Liara raised a brow.

Shepard mumbled incoherently as she went back to rinsing out her mouth.

"Hmph!" Liara shook her head but went on, "Melding and unions are the way we asari evolve and grow as a society. To be with someone within the mind always leaves a piece of you with them ... This is why we do not enter lightly into a union and why we do not see physical pleasures as you do."

"And how many rapturous whole moments have you had, Liara?" Shepard cocked an eye at.

"Me?" Liara shook her head, "None. I am only a hundred and six, Shepard."

Shepard laughed, "Please tell me that you are not underage in asari years … I do not want to get arrested for sleeping with a child."

"I am not a child," Liara said.

"I don't know," Shepard said, "I had sex at sixteen and here you are still a virgin. Admit it, Ms. T'Soni! You are still in elementary back home and on summer vacation right now … aren't you!"

"What?" Liara shook her head, "I am not a child! I have a doctorate from the Serrice University!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks!" Shepard waved her toothbrush at her. "Away with you, child!"

"Shepard!" Liara pulled the toothbrush away as Shepard started to laugh harder.

"Well, child or not," Shepard said between her laughting, "You are not having vulcan sex with me!"

"Then it is a good thing that I do not want you that way," Liara answered, but as Shepard calmed down it made her wonder what this other asari experienced while in the mind of her Elizabeth.

Liara brushed back Shepard's hair as she continued to wonder when she heard Shepard say, "You know that I should still be mad at you."

Liara wiped off the toothpaste on Shepard's cheek as she whispered, "I am sorry that I did not tell you."

"No more secrets?" Shepard said, taking the toothbrush back from Liara and putting it in her mouth.

Liara thought of the vial hidden in her luggage, "No Shepard … no more secrets."


	64. Ukelele & Winnie the Pooh

The Essex House was dimly lit for the evening meals and a female sang _Je Voudrais La Connaître. _She was accompanied by a small band that included strings and a horn section and a small dance floor. Liara was nervous as she was escorted with Shepard through the room of humans to their table. Their table was next to a window that framed the Midim'ah Lake and the Initium Mountain. The table also overlooked both the dance floor and a smaller replica of the Latona Fountain of Versailles, but there was still a feel of intimacy. As the maître d' held Liara's chair out as she sat, she admired the centerpiece of pink roses and baby's breath placed in a low silver vase with two slim silver candlesticks on each side. "This is lovely," Liara smiled at Shepard, who was now being seated.

"I hoped that you'd like this place," Shepard smiled, sensing Liara's nervousness that appeared when not in her world. It made her more rigid, reserved and hesitant out of fear of saying the wrong thing or offending. _Better to appear reserve then rude_, Shepard thought as she looked out at the three couples dancing on the floor just six steps down.

Liara watched as Shepard had ordered their meals, at her request … And Liara, after spending all their time together in her world, had almost forgotten who Shepard really was. Forgotten until they were back amongst the Commander's own people. She watched as humans were stopping the Hero of the Blitz as they moved farther away from the Aikaterine and closer to the Lowndes. She watched as the Commander stopped to take pictures, sign her autograph and just listen to people tell her what she meant to their lives. Shepard was friendly, patient and gentle where needed and would introduce Liara as ... "Dr. T'Soni, a colleague of mine." Now as Shepard finished ordering, an older male asked the Commander if she would dance with him. Shepard smiled and followed him out onto the dance floor where the singer had started singing _L'Amour Flou_.

The way that Shepard let the male hold her, the sway of their bodies … it was different then the asari but Liara was drawn to it. She looked at the way that Shepard's fingers curled over the male's hand, the way his hand pressed against the small of her back and how their bodies moved with each other. The rhythm of the song had a feel of bapac that stirred Liara and she wanted to hold Shepard the way he did. So she watched. Liara used her analytical mind to break the steps down and put them in her memory. As the song ended, Liara watched as they made their way back … patrons stopping the Commander to greet her as she went. The male spoke French and Liara noticed that Shepard seemed to light up when speaking that language.

The meal was perfect with Liara enjoying the Escalope de Veau Marsala and loving the Tartelettes de Framboises au Mascarpone. As Shepard took a drink of her Château Coussin Rouge, Liara stole her raspberry tartlet which made Shepard laugh. "Liara! That was mine."

Liara put it in her mouth and held up her hands palm out, "Wht arm u tlmh bot?"

Shepard shook her head, "You're lucky that you're biotic! Or asari! The way you eat sweets you should be as big as a house."

Liara looked at Shepard as she drank wine, danced with others and sang with the music … but her mind kept going back to that Sharon Stone and why she had meld with the Commander. As Shepard joined in on the chorus of _L'Accordéoniste_, Liara had to know what that asari saw … "Shepard?"

Shepard stopped singing and turned to Liara, "Yes?"

"Why did Sharon Stone want to meld with you?" Liara asked, sitting forward.

"I told you!" Shepard frowned, and then took a drink of wine.

"Tell me again," Liara said, taking her glass away.

"She needed to give me a cider … I mean, cipher," Shepard answered, looking at her glass. "You steal my desserts and my wine? You are not a nice date, Liara."

"Shepard!" Liara sometimes found the human exasperating to be with.

"Okay!" Shepard took her glass back and after taking a drink explained what Ms. Stone had told her.

"The cipher is the very essence of being a Prothean?" Liara felt her curiosity and drive for all things Prothean rear its head as she asked, "Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?"

"No," Shepard answered. "It hasn't helped me understand the visions but it did remove the headaches."

"I might be able to help you," Liara said, the chance at uncovering secrets about the Protheans and touching Shepard making her come alive. "With my understanding of the Protheans … If I join my consciousness to yours then maybe we can make sense of it."

"What?" Shepard shook her head, "No … no … no. First it was the beacon and then the asari! Liara, I'm fine. No one else is going up and messing around in my brain. I'm done. Fini!"

"But you let her!" Liara said, putting her napkin on the table.

"Are you jealous?" Shepard raised a brow. "Why Ms. T'Soni, I do believe that you can't stand the thought that another asari took my mental virginity."

A shimmer of blue came off Liara as she stood up, "I want to go back to the hotel, Shepard."

* * *

><p>The asari was silent as the two walked back to the Aikaterine and as they stepped into an empty elevator, Captain and Tennille greeted them. "I think this song is following you, Liara," Shepard teased, as <em>Love Will Keep Us Together <em>started. Liara stayed silent and it was driving Shepard crazy. She hated it when Liara was upset or ignoring her … "Okay … okay, Liara! You win! You want to play Miss Marple up in my head? Fine! But if you hurt me … I swear!"

Liara turned to face her, "I am not jealous … that is a human emotion."

"Of course it is," Shepard said, working hard to keep a straight face. "You were just … uh? Concerned?"

"The faster that you can interpret the vision the quicker we can understand what Saren is after," Liara, the Professor, explained as she ignored Shepard's question.

As they exited the elevator, Shepard couldn't help but say, "Is it normal to have sex dreams of the person that you melded with? Or do I just think that Sharon Stone was hot? I mean she did take my virginity." Shepard saw Liara's shoulders stiffened and she fought from laughing.

As they entered Shepard's bedroom, Liara began to get nervous. She had never done this with a human and the words of Aika, _I hurt Liqiu the first few times because I treated her as one of us,_ pulled at her. Shepard was also nervous, remembering the two times that her mind was invaded … _Shit! What if she scrambles my brains? Or is this where she puts the knife in? Except it's going in my brain?_ The image of the _Deliverance_ kid with the banjo came to mind. _Oh my god! Please don't leave me like that kid! Shepard, stop thinking! _

"Are you ready, Shepard?" Liara moved closer.

Shepard looked around, "Should I lay down or sit?"

"Whatever makes you comfortable," Liara said, emotionless as she prepared herself.

"You aren't going to leave me a drooling imbecile are you?" Shepard said.

"Commander," Liara said, putting her hands on Shepard's shoulders, "Just relax."

"Relax," Shepard breathed, as she looked at how serious Liara was acting.

"I want you to …"

"Wait!" Shepard said.

Liara, already nervous, was starting to get upset with Shepard, "Commander!"

"Liara!" Shepard yelled back. "We humans don't do this … and my past experiences haven't put this in the good category! I can't help it that I'm not looking forward to this ride again!"

"Forgive me," Liara was already pushing Shepard as if she expected her to be like another asari. "If we need to take time … what will make you feel safe?"

"Safe?" Shepard looked at her. "A word! That's it! A safe word."

"A safe word?" Liara didn't understand.

"We agree on a word and if I say that word you will stop," Shepard explained.

"Shepard, if you say stop … I will," Liara said.

"You want to do this?" Shepard almost growled in frustration.

Liara had never seen Shepard like this … "Okay. What word?"

"Let's see," Shepard said, as her mind raced. "Mango!"

Liara began to giggle, "Mayngo?"

"Why are you giggling?" Shepard asked, not aware of the asari fruit.

"Why mayngo?" Liara asked, thinking that Shepard was being funny.

"Forget mango," Shepard shook her head. "The word can't make you laugh … who knows what would happen if you laughed while up there with your sketch pad. You could scratch away the part of my brain that helps me blink."

"What?" Liara could see that Shepard was getting even more frustrated.

"Ukulele!" Shepard said.

Liara nodded and stood in front of Shepard, "Fine. Are you ready now?"

Shepard looked at Liara … so serious, so alien and so … tall. "Please don't make me bark like a dog or pee on myself," Shepard said as she closed her eyes tightly waiting on the freight train and ice picker.

Liara saw the tension and moved even closer … using the scent of her breath to calm Shepard. "Feel my heart," Liara said as she placed Shepard's right hand over it. "Breathe in and out with me, Elizabeth. Trust that all I want is nothing more than to move against you … inside you. To bring you peace and to give comfort."

Shepard noticed that the asari's heart was beating slower … much slower … than hers and that there was cinnamon in the air. Liara was whispering things but she could barely hear her or understand. Then she felt a static in the air and she began to fear what was coming.

Liara could sense the woman's change and pulled back just enough to calm her. This dance went on for another half hour as Liara would press and then ease up against Shepard. This was much harder than she had expected but if it meant that Shepard was not hurt … it was worth it. Liara moved closer to Shepard, bending slightly to whisper in her ear, "You want me … you want to be open to the strands of the ancients. To feel the caress of the asari. To have me inside your very being, Elizabeth. Open to me and feel my calm … my desire … my touch."

The words were seductive and it worked. They made Shepard calm and she wanted the warmth that she was starting to feel outside of herself. As she finally started to reach out, she heard those words again … "Embrace Eternity!"

As Liara entered the mind of Shepard, the first thing that greeted her was the colors and the will of the woman. _You are beautiful_. But even with her soft touch, doors were closing as Liara's presence was felt. She was glad to see that the reason that she had come … _the vision!_ … was open to her and she went straight to it. As she submerged into the vision it was overpowering and mixed with Shepard, almost too powerful ... All _this time! All my research! Yet I never dreamed!_ … As she moved inside Shepard, she was trying to not hurt the human. But moving carefully took more energy then she had expected as Shepard continued to fight her presence. At one point, Shepard's natural instinct to reject the invader resulted in her being slammed against a wall and she cried out. _Please,_ _Shepard!_ Her pain was met with a sensation of pleasure … _Okay_, _Shepard, I am fine_. She had seen what she needed but she wanted to feel the Commander. So she spread her presence and was greeted with an intense feeling of warmth, safety and something else … but then the walls pushed at her and she knew that it was time to leave. A part of her wanted to press a few doors open … To see how Shepard felt about her. To understand how she felt about her lover back on the Arc. To find that asari! To really experience her but … the Matriarch could be heard … _Liara, You must know when to turn away in order to keep that connection pure. To take from a lover what is not yours is unforgivable._

Shepard could feel the odd static leave her body and opened her eyes to find Liara looking at her, "That was incredible! The images were so vivid … I never imagined the experience would be so … intense. You are remarkably strong-willed, Shepard. What you have been through! To have had that in your mind all this time! What that vision shows … what you saw! It would have destroyed a lesser mind."

"I'm glad that you enjoyed the matinee," Shepard cracked, "If you come back in a few hours I'm playing _Boy, Did I Get the Wrong Number_."

"You must not have received the entire message though," Liara said, as she began to pace. "Large parts of the vision are missing ... Did you notice?"

"Liara, I can't make it out," Shepard answered, in frustration. "If there were other extinctions or the looney tunes mixed in, I wouldn't know."

Liara left the room and returned with her netbook. She moved past Shepard and sat down at the bedroom suite's desk, "You were right about the reapers … The Protheans were destroyed by a race of sentient machines."

Shepard sat on the chair's arm, next to her, "And you doubted me?"

Liara began to tap away, not hearing Shepard, "Based on the vision, it is obvious that there is a connection between the reapers, the Prothean extinction, and the Conduit!"

"Yaaa!" Shepard raised her arms, "Liara, we knew that going in … didn't we?"

"Given time," Liara looked up at Shepard, "I should be able to interpret the data relayed through your vision … What was there, at least."

"And then?" Shepard looked at Liara's screen but it was in asari and made no sense to her.

Liara frowned, tapping her finger against the screen. "That piece … a large piece missing ... I need it! And Saren must have the missing information."

"Would he understand it?" Shepard stood up.

"A turian?" Liara looked as if Shepard had suggested that pigs could fly jets.

"That silly of a question?" Shepard leaned against the dresser.

Liara ignored Shepard's question and turned back to her screen, "We would need to find another beacon with the same message."

"Is that all?" Shepard's hopes were quickly crashing. "I'll just order that up with the pizza and beer."

"Shepard," Liara scolded, "Please be serious. If we can find the missing data from your vision I can … whoa!"

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked, seeing Liara get weak.

"I am sorry," she said, letting Shepard help her up. "The joining was … more exhausting then expected."

"Are you sure it was the joining?" Shepard asked, looking into Liara's eyes. "I mean … I feel fine."

"Your role in our communion was passive," Liara said, sounding offended. "I am the one who had to submerge myself in your mind … Drown myself in your thoughts."

"Are you sure it's not because I'm experienced after Sharon Stone," Shepard teased. "And you are a virgin?"

"I am not a virgin in this kind of union!" Liara said, trying to pull away from Shepard. "It is more difficult than it looks. The human subconscious instinctively resists the joining, Commander. A strong personality like yours makes it even harder."

"Well, maybe you need to lay down," Shepard smiled as she led her to the bed.

"Yes," Liara said, pulling away from Shepard. "I just need some rest ... Somewhere quiet."

"Stay here," Shepard said.

Liara looked at the bed and back at Shepard, "I would not want to put you out."

"Who said I would leave?" Shepard asked. "We are both grown-ups … although I have my doubts about you. You can stay here tonight if you want. After all, what's the worst that could happen?"

Liara shook her head, "No, Commander."

"Yes, Liara," Shepard said as she started to take off Liara's dress.

"But you said …" Shepard placed a finger over Liara's lips and then changed her into a large Winnie the Pooh nightshirt.

As Liara looked at the shirt, Shepard led her to the bed … "With that shirt, you should be safe from any sex maniacs."

"What is it?" Liara asked, pulling her shirt out to look at the yellow bear.

"It's Winnie the Pooh," Shepard whispered, pulling back the covers and motioning for her to get in.

"What's a Pooh?" Liara asked, sliding into the bed.

"I really don't know," Shepard answered as she tucked her in.

"Shepard," Liara started but Shepard gave her a kiss and smiled.

"Go to sleep, Li-Li," Shepard grinned.

"Do I have to wear this?" Liara asked, pulling Shepard closer.

"Yes," Shepard answered, "All children must be clothed at bedtime."

"I am not a child," Liara tried to look unhappy but seeing Shepard's green eyes and smile, reached up and pulled her down to kiss her.

Shepard started to feel her tongue elsewhere and pulled away, "Oh, no! No wicked kissing tonight. Not while wearing that sleepwear. It's creepy. Now, go to sleep."

* * *

><p>Liara had been asleep for a few hours and it gave Shepard time to go to the gym and work out on the bag and get a few laps in. Her lack of energy frustrated her but she could feel her body getting stronger. An hour and a half later she had checked off a nice hot shower and was now curled up in the leather chair wearing nothing but underwear and a Gnats t-shirt, blanket over her legs, hot cup of tea at her side … and reading <em>Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil<em>.

"Shepard?" Liara whispered.

"Huh?" Shepard looked around startled.

"You fell asleep," Liara whispered as she turned the reading light off and led Shepard to bed.

As Shepard began to lie down she realized that Liara was not wearing Pooh, "Where is your shirt?"

"Next to yours," Liara answered, crawling on top of Shepard.

"Poor Pooh," Shepard said, as Liara removed her underwear.

"Shhh," Liara whispered, moving her leg between Shepard's.

"You're going to kiss me wicked aren't you?" Shepard asked, as Liara began to kiss her neck.

"More than that, Elizabeth," Liara whispered.

* * *

><p>Shepard came awake to Wynonna singing <em>That Was Yesterday<em> … and she reached out to Liara afraid that the asari had left her side. Liara reached out to her and Shepard pulled her close, "I thought you might be gone." Liara kissed her and began to touch her but was stopped by Shepard, "Don't start what you can't finish. You know I have to see your mother in an hour, Liara."

"An hour?" Liara looked up at the time. "Oh, Shepard! We should have been up earlier! You missed breakfast!"

As Liara began to panic and reach for the comm., Shepard stopped her. "It's okay, Liara. I can skip breakfast."

"No, Shepard!" Liara pulled away. "You cannot go to mother … hungry."

"Is this another asari thing?" Shepard asked, getting out of bed and shaking her legs out. "How do you make my legs feel this way?"

Liara wasn't listening as she was ordering a late breakfast for Shepard and telling the kitchen to put a rush on it, "I expect the meal here in the next twenty."

Shepard looked over at Liara, "Did you wake up thinking you were a Queen or something?"

"Take your shower, Shepard," Liara said, as she rushed out of the room.

"Yes, your highness," Shepard mumbled. "Just like a man … once they have you in bed no more romance."

Liara moved quickly as Shepard showered. She pulled out the vial after asking Sibila and Ipomona to go spend at least an hour in the alneu. The meal arrived before Shepard was out of the shower and Liara made Shepard a cup of coffee, emptying the liquid of the vial into the cup and carried it Shepard.

"Thank you," Shepard smiled, taking the cup as she stepped out of the shower.

"Do not be late," Liara told her.

"Where will you be?" Shepard asked, blowing on her coffee.

"I am going to the alneu and relax with Sibila," Liara lied.

Shepard smiled as she started to take a sip of the coffee but was stopped by Liara who seemed sad, "What's wrong?"

"I want you to know you have been a pleasant surprise in my life, human." Liara kissed Shepard on the lips.

Shepard smiled, "As have you, asari."

"Think before you speak, Shepard," Liara said before leaving. "Be respectful and listen to mother. Only answer her questions and try to stay serious. Do not talk about eating children or …"

"Letting her daughter have her way in front of a poor innocent bear?" Shepard teased.

"Especially that!" Liara giggled. "And do not forget to at least eat half of your breakfast. I ordered your scrambled chicken eggs and toast. Eat!"

"Yes, sir," Shepard saluted as Liara turned to go.

"And drink all of your coffee," Liara said.

Shepard tilted the cup in her direction and after she was out of sight, began to drink it as she dried off. Shepard noticed a slight bitterness in her morning wake-up liquid but shrugged it off and followed the orders of the wicked kisser. _Okay, you can do this. Just treat the Matriarch like mom … if mom weren't my mom. _

Liara slipped into the shared room and grabbed her luggage … as she passed Shepard's room she hesitated. _This is for all of us, Shepard. Please forgive me for not telling you everything. But you will see that this is the way it should be ... Mother protected and you told what you need to capture Saren. And then soon it will all be over and then we can … maybe you might come to visit Thessia. We could be … at least friends._

* * *

><p>Shepard finished her coffee, dressed and went out into the front room to grab a quick bite, just as Liara arrived at the private port where an asari greeted her and escorted her to the Matriarch's shuttle.<p>

"Ms. T'Soni?" the asari smiled as she moved her into the shuttle. "The Matriarch will be joining us later at our destination. Business has called her away early."

"But the Matriarch was to meet with Commander Shepard," Liara said, as the doors were shut.

"Plans were changed," Lilak, an asari that Liara had known since she was twelve, said.

"Lilak," Liara was confused. "But the Matriarch had an appointment. She would never … the Matriarch would never fail to meet her obligations. Her commitments."

"And she hasn't," Lilak said. "The Matriarch is committed to Saren Arterius … just as you should be."

"Saren?" Liara began to move towards the door, panic building as the shuttle began to take off.

"I must ask you to sit down," the asari who had greeted her said.

"No!" Liara almost screamed. "Let me out! Tell mother that I stayed with Shepard!"

"The matriarch would not approve of that," Lika said. "She has promised you to Saren. Now calm down and take a seat."

Liara looked out the window and saw the Aikaterine moving away from her … Shepard moving away from her. _The Vial!_ Liara placed her hands on the window. _What was in that vial? Oh, Goddess! I must get back to Shepard!_

* * *

><p>Shepard's jaw began to hurt and her eyesight was becoming cloudy … something was wrong. Shepard stood up as her throat began to sting and then burn. Soon Shepard's body was on fire as her blood began to feel as shards of glass tearing through her. <em>Oh, God!<em> Shepard looked at her coffee cup, _What have you done, Liara? _Shepard's legs gave out as her left side felt as if it had been de-skinned and all her nerves exposed. Shepard forced her body to get up … she forced her body, even as she screamed out in pain, to go to the door and open it … she forced her body to an elevator … _You want to kill me?_ Shepard's mind spit out, _you will have to do more than spike my punch!_ Shepard's body was one big nerve exposed to the wind and she would have cried out but she had no voice. So she focused on her breathing as she now lay on the floor of the elevator as it moved towards the penthouse floor. Her breathing was getting harder and Shepard knew that her heart was stopping … her throat closing. She was going to die in a glass elevator on a frozen planet … _How many times have you dodged this bullet?_ Shepard thought as her body no longer hurt. _You knew not to trust the asari …_ _But you did._ Shepard's body no longer hurting, her breathing slowing down ... she let her mind fall into the music in the elevator. Olivia Newton-John was telling Shepard that she honestly loved her. _Why do these asari love our cheesy songs?_ Shepard thought, a tear running down her cheek. _Momma, please don't let this be the end. I can't leave things this way … not yet. It can't be my time. Please talk with your God._


	65. Pyscata & Farkans

The weather around the Cristae Harbor on Quana was clear but this was not helping the fisherman … they were finding their nets empty as the daliciae seemed to have disappeared from their area of the lake. The harbor, which sat between the Crystalis Resort and the Initium Mountains, was the only area where the waters were not frozen on the planet. No one could explain why, but the reason didn't matter to the handful of fisherman who moved about the waters in their boats, casting nets.

"This is not going to be a good day," Artur growled to no one in particular as he pulled up his net empty yet again. The day had started ominous with a storm forming around the top of the highest peak on Initium as the harbor skies were clear … The fishermen believed that when Pyscata could see the curves of the harbor that it would stir her anger.

"No … not a good day," the salarian responded as he hurried to the flag and began to lower it to half-mast.

The krogan looked at the barren net lying on the deck growling, "Pyscata is angry and withholding the daliciae from us."

"It is only going to get worse," the asari added as she looked up at the peak.

Krogan were not known for believing in gods but Artur was a fisherman. He had seen things out on the waters that had left him questioning. He had seen things that he did not understand and they made him stop to pause. All the fishermen on the Midim'ah Lake had experienced things that they whispered to each other about at the local watering spot, Cetb. Things that they vowed they would never take home or speak about with outsiders. To do so would be to anger Pyscata and her children that moved about the lake ... To bring a curse on their boat and all aboard. The superstition of those that made their living on the water seemed to not be limited to humans.

As nets continually came up barren and a storm began to thunder up on the mountain top, the fisherman had waved their flags at half mast hoping that it would show Pyscata their humbleness in her presence. Even as the flags were all now half-mast across the harbor, the water was still yielding nothing to them. So the fishermen began to concede as the boats began to slowly return to their docks.

Artur looked up at the highest of the mountains, her top now hidden from view and knew that there would be no haul today. He looked over the side of his boat and knew that the waters were telling him that there was a darkness moving towards them and that Pyscata was telling her land children to go home. To go somewhere safe. "Let's get out of this cold!" he barked as everyone on board heard a shuttle race by.

"See those flashes?" one of the guests on his boat yelled, as the windows of the shuttle blew out as it raced towards Initium.

"Holy shit!" another one of his guests yelled, "It's going to crash into the mountain if it doesn't pull up!"

"Pyscata will not welcome these visitors," Artur said, looking at the asari. "We need to get to shore now!"

As Artur, his crew and three of his guests worked to get the Ugric back to dock … his third guest, another krogan, watched as the shuttle tried to pull up but failed and disappeared halfway up the mountain. He knew that this had something to do with Shepard … Was she on that shuttle? Those flashes were biotic. He knew that. But Shepard was not a biotic and he began to pace on the boat. Was that asari with her? Was she onboard and trying to protect Shepard? Or were those flashes aimed at Shepard? But even if she survived ... A human would not survive on that mountain. He stomped his feet, hating the cold. He had only come out on this boat to discuss a business proposition with the other krogan. Now looking up at the mountain, the storm and knowing it would take at least two days to get up to the site … it made him angry. It was just too cold! But he needed to get to that shuttle … and now!

* * *

><p>As the elevator door opened, the body of Shepard was seen lying to the side causing the group of asari to murmur as they moved back away from her. Ismene, following a few feet behind, saw the commotion and just as the elevator door was about to close again she moved in. As she held the door open she looked down to see the body of the unconscious human. She ordered one of her companions to hold the door as she quickly bent down to turn Shepard over. Seeing the yellow and black splotches around her mouth and starting to run down her neck she hissed, "Papyr!"<p>

One of her companions moved back, "Leave her! That is the human SpecTRe! Whoever wants her dead may come after us if we help her."

"Quiet you fool!" Ismene rebuked, as she picked up Shepard. "We need to get her to Aikaterine now."

"You are going to take this trouble to her?" another companion asked, stepping away.

Ismene could feel the human fading away and pushed past them as she rushed to the grand suite of the owner of the hotel. Ismene knew papyr. She knew that poison oh so well … the same markings had appeared on her own father, a batarian named Kronol El' Grǣdig. She had just turned thirteen and the family had been enjoying an evening meal. Her mother, Vyka Dantium, had put the poison in his meal all those centuries past and the reason for her killing him was never shared with her daughters and they never asked why. They had watched their mother's mate collapse on the floor and Ismene had moved closer to watch him die, fascinated by the colors that had begun to appear on his face and neck. Ismene and her sister knew that their mother's action was not without thought and they trusted that her decision was framed around protecting them and the Dantium household.

Looking at the human, the memory of the batarian dying was brought back to her and she knew that there wasn't much time left for Shepard. Ismene knew that papyr had already moved aggressively through her body and if she did not receive the antidote soon … "You cannot die!" she told Shepard. "You will not leave me until I am ready!"

"Ismene," a companion tried to stop her, "why help her? This can only bring you trouble. Let her erotas … the T'Soni deal with this. What pleasure can you get from this?"

It was true that Ismene and her companions were primarily self-centered and thought of their own needs … but this was different. Ismene looked at the woman in her arms and knew that she would not just stand by and let someone die. Not Shepard. Not anyone. Not again. And not in the same way. "Get out of my way," she hissed at her companion.

* * *

><p>Liara could hear the shuttle groaning, cracking and shifting as she slowly started to move. She knew that she was bleeding from her head and her left shoulder was causing her to groan. An asari had shot her during the brief battle and the thought of her being caught off guard made her berate herself. <em>Why did you let your barrier down?<em> Liara felt the side of her head and could tell that it was just a small cut, despite the heavy bleeding, but her shoulder … _No time to dress the wound, you have to move! _The shuttle was starting to fill up with smoke and she did not want to die trapped and surrounded by her own massacre of asari. She stood up carefully, looking around for anything that she could take with her and saw a med kit and meal packets near the exit. She told herself to remember where they were as the smoke begun to cover them from her view.

She had been in the cockpit during the crash and did not remember being thrown all the way to the back, through the open door, upon impact but her body did. She was sore as she moved through the wreckage but knew that she could have been in worse shape. Much worse. _Why did you not learn to fly?_ She continued on as she thought how she had tried to keep the shuttle from hitting the mountain. But the controls were confusing and as she pulled up, the shuttle stalled and _here we are_. She moved as quick as she could … but stopped to grab what she would need to survive outside the shuttle … she stripped a Commando and put on her clothes, grabbed a pair of boots and even the pilots jacket for warmth. In the process, she slipped a few times on the blood and body bits as she made her way through, falling once as the shuttle slid a few feet.

_Do not panic_, she told herself as the cabin was now completely black with smoke. The shuttle door was stuck and she knew that she would need to use her biotics again … but she felt depleted and weak. _You have to do this_, she said_. You cannot die here! Not like this!_ Liara's thoughts now were on survival … getting out of the shuttle in one piece and also being as prepared as possible for the climb down. Panicking would not be allowed and her focus had to be on the present. Thoughts of her mother, Shepard and what she had done were pushed to the side as she broke free of the shuttle and grabbed her supplies.

As Liara stepped out into the cold she looked up and saw the storm on top of the mountain. _No,_ she looked at her clothes. _I have to get down or at least somewhere out of this cold ... somewhere warm._ She pulled out all that she could use on her trek from the shuttle and then looked down the mountain. _Where do I go?_ _What is closest?_ It was then that she realized that her omni-tool was in her luggage and as she went back in to retrieve her bag she scolded herself yet again for also not grabbing the pistol that had left its mark in her. She had to risk it and as the smoke tried to choke her she succeeded in pulling the items out of the shuttle that she wanted, as well as two more pieces of luggage. She then dragged everything she had collected away from the shuttle and just as she reached thirty feet the shuttle exploded, knocking her back.

* * *

><p>Wrex threw one of the mountain packs over his shoulder as Artur grabbed the other. Between the weather, the unforgiving terrain and what crawled in it, only the krogan would have a chance of surviving overnight on the mountain. "We will be back in a few days," Wrex said to the other three inside Artur's home located six miles up from the lake.<p>

"But if Shepard is up there," Kaidan said, putting on his jacket. "I need to be there … Don't worry about me."

"No," Artur said. "The farkans alone would smell you and we would have another problem ... Not just you. I do not want to be stopped in our climb."

"Farkans?" Kaidan had never heard that word. "I'm sure that I can handle them."

"No, Kaidan," Wrex said. He had fought the farkans before and even the human's biotics would be no match. The creatures were quick, hungry and worked in groups.

"The farkans are here?" Satake's eyes lit up. "I loved studying them in school!"

"What are these farkans?" Kaidan asked, sounding angry.

"Oh, man," Satake almost bounced, "They have the face of the tube-nosed fruit bat and the body of an ape … Freaky!"

Kaidan and Chase both said, "What does a tube-nosed fruit bat look like?"

"Freaky!" Satake repeated, pulling up a picture on his omni-tool. "Look!"

"Crap!" Chase said, jumping back.

"And here's a farkan!" he said, bouncing with excitement.

The picture made the hair on Kaidan's arm stand up, "Those are out there? With Shepard?"

"Maybe this has nothing to do with Shepard," Chase said. "She's probably drinking champagne at the fancy hotel."

"I'll try her again," Kaidan said, pulling up his omni-tool.

"People need help," Artur said, moving to the door. "Doesn't matter who … Your Shepard or someone else's Shepard … I go to help."

Wrex followed Artur and as they stopped on the porch, he looked up again at the mountain. _If you are there, pup_ … _I will find you._

* * *

><p>Shepard had been placed on a bed in one of the guest rooms and as Liqiu began making calls to Aika's personal physician, Aika and Liara, Ismene, sat with Shepard. As she looked at Shepard, she felt anger that this human had not been careful. <em>Who did you trust foolishly?<em> She knew that as an agent to the Council this made Shepard a target and she had not thought Shepard careless. She had watched her and had noted how at the party Shepard would not drink from a glass that she had left unattended or accept a drink from anyone but the staff or … _Liara! Where were you? Leaving your erotas alone again?_ Ismene held Shepard's hand as she asked, Why_ do you waste your time with a maiden? _Shepard began to convulse and as Ismene called out to Liqiu, she cursed Shepard for allowing this ... and she vowed that if she survived … _you will be mine_.

Liqiu hurried to the room and saw Shepard's hands start to clutching the bed as Ismene held her down … "Keep fighting, Shepard. The antidote and Liara are on their way."

* * *

><p>Liara had the top of the commando uniform opened as she tended to her shoulder. The bullet was still lodged in her and she was trying to ignore the dull throb. As she finished and dressed the wound, she frowned. This would not be warm enough but this was all she had. She then put the pistol in the holster on her right leg, placed the med kit, food and blankets into her bag ready to head down the mountain but first ... She opened the other cases that she had snatched to see if there was anything in them that she could use. She almost cried out in joy as one of the cases had a snow suit designed for the ice sailing. There was also a knife and bottle of elasa … compliments of the pilot. <em>She must have made a vacation out of this as she waited on the Matriarch.<em>

_The Matriarch,_ Liara's mind went to her mother. _Why? Mother, what is wrong? What has this turian done to you? This makes no sense!_ Liara, fighting the tears wanting to break free, opened the other luggage and found a heavy scarf and a pair of gloves but all the rest was useless. As Liara put the gloves on, then the snow suit over the commando suit and wrapped the scarf around her neck and lower face, she felt a little better. She knew that the cold could impact the way she thought and even weaken her will to survive … so staying warm was the most important thing. With that in mind, she raised the hood of the winter suit over her head and tightened it shut. The only part of her now exposed were her eyes.

"Donan Ice," she said, pulling up the map on her omni-tool that she had attached to the outside of her sleeve. Looking at the distance, terrain and her speed … she wanted to cry in frustration. It would take her at least two days to make it to D'Ice. And that was if she was not pushed off-course by the farkans.

_The farkans_ … She had run into them years earlier when she was on Quana studying the prothean ruins and the memory made her skin crawl. She would need to find or make some type of shelter before the darkness came or she would be caught exposed to them. She knew that was when they hunt. _Still time to make some ground_, she thought as she began to walk down the mountain. She would need to keep an eye out for a place to make shelter, she reminded herself as she looked out towards Crystalis. Nothing in her world was making sense to her. The betrayal of her mother was too much to accept. There had to be a reason. No. There was no denying that her mother had lied to her. That she had never intended to meet Shepard ... that she had intended to take her to Saren. _Saren!_ _Why, mother? Why would you do this? Why are you with him? A turian? I do not understand. I must have failed you … I should have been able to see … to help you! Why did I not feel your truth within the __ΕπZρεάζYω?_

As she moved around a crevice she thought of the recording that Kaidan had played for her and she wanted to scream. Then there was Shepard. She thought of their two nights together and how Shepard had let her touch her … trusted her. _Oh, Goddess! How will I explain this?_ But she would not let her mind go to the vial. Not now. With that thought came the possibility that Shepard might not be alive. That she may already be … _dead?_ And dead at her hands … _Stop it, Liara! Shepard is fine. She has to be! Mother would never have used me in that way or murdered someone good like Shepard. Murdered someone who pleased me!_

* * *

><p>The physician had done everything she could … "Now all we can do is wait."<p>

Aika motioned for the nurse to stay with the human as she escorted the physician out into the hall, "Thank you … I require that this situation not be discussed with anyone."

"As you wish," the physician said. "Do you know how she was exposed to the poison?"

"Not at this time," Aika answered. "I have my investigators looking at her movements since this morning to determine where it may have occurred."

The physician looked at the bedroom door, "Is there a chance that other poisonings may follow? That others may have or will suffer from this? Or do you believe that this is an isolated case?"

Aika shook her head, "The human is an agent of the Council … I think that we are looking at a politically driven exposure."

"Let us hope," the physician said. "I do not have a large stock of the antidote. It is a rarely used poison these days. So rare that it would appear that the person who gave it to her, might have miscalculated the dose … luckily for the human."

"Miscalculated?" Aika asked.

"At the right dose," the physician answered, "she would have fallen to sleep. Nothing more. But at the dose she received … pain. It gave her time to respond and make it outside of the suite. Although I am not sure how she made it as far as the elevator. She should have been paralyzed halfway there at the least."

"So we are not dealing with a professional." Aika said more to herself.

"Or you are," the physician answered. "This might have been personal and whoever it was wanted to make her suffer. And in so doing, they underestimated her will and could also not have foreseen that the person who would find her knew the signs of papyr."

"This human appears to have had Athame on her side," Aika smiled. "Come; let us update the others waiting on her status."

* * *

><p>There was still a few hours of daylight left but Liara had found a fallen tree and knew that it would be perfect for her shelter. As she dug out the snow underneath, she kept her ears open for any sounds that translated to help or trouble. She then removed branches from the inside and placed them on the ground below her … <em>You can do this<em>, Liara told herself as she carefully began to climb up a tree next to her. Her shoulder made it more difficult but she could not risk losing her rations for the next day. At a safe distance up, she tied her luggage holding the supplies that she would not need for the night and then as she finished, she looked out and saw white everywhere. If a farkan had been out there she would not have seen it. They were white as their world … even the trees that grew here on this frozen planet were a frosty grey and its leaves stone like. Human botanists and especially arborists had found these trees a wonder. Liara lowered her scarf temporarily as she took a few deep breaths, white wisps showing their escape and then covered up again before climbing back down. She needed to build a fire close to her shelter to ensure that the beasts of the night would be visible if they came near her sleeping area. So much work left before darkness.

* * *

><p>"Do you think she is up there?" Chase asked Kaidan, handing him a mug of hot coffee.<p>

Kaidan took it without looking away from the mountain as they stood on Artur's front porch, "I hope not ... it's getting too cold for someone to survive in this."

Satake, rubbing his hands together, and exhaling just to see his breath materialize in the form of white smoke, stopped and said, "The farkans should be out soon."

Kaidan glared over at him, "Are you wanting me to show you what a biotic kick feels like?"

Satake, caught off-guard by Kaidan's anger, shook his head, "I'm sorry!"

Chase knew that Kaidan, who was normally calm, was feeling the pressure and so he pulled Satake away, "Lieutenant, as I said ealier ... the Commander is probably back at the hotel sipping champagne and listening to some asari music."

"Or having a massage by an asari," Satake leered. "A naked asari!"

Both Chase and Kaidan looked over at him.

"Like you two weren't thinking that!" he grumbled and went back into the house.

* * *

><p>Liara finished her meal, placed the wrappings in a bag and then brought her knees up to her chin as she looked at the fire. She thought of a trip to Messonia when she was fourteen and had begged her mother to let her sleep outside near the crysta sea. The Matriarch had laughed at her pleas but then instructed one of her acolytes to help Liara set up a tent and <em>have her adventure<em>. The asari had not only helped Liara set it up but she had shown her how to start a fire with her biotics and told her stories about her own childhood adventures in the hills just above that very city.

_Lika_, Liara looked up at the luggage in the tree and remembered the blood that she had found on it earlier. _Was it hers?_ She had never killed anyone before and in one day she had killed seven people. Lika had been one of the last and she began to remember the look on her face as her life slipped away. The same asari that had been in her home almost all of her life and taught her some of the things that was keeping her alive now. She remembered times that they had shared from small talks to important events such as Liara's graduation from the University, Lika's union to her daer, too many moments … _and I killed her!_ Liara looked at her hands. Hands that were now shaking.

It had been so easy to overcome all of them … almost too easy. Her thoughts had been on her mother lying to her … on the Matriarch leaving her … and on Shepard. What would she think once she found both the Matriarch and Liara gone? Would she believe that Liara had betrayed her? That she had known that the Matriarch would not meet with her? Her anger, her rage and her pain was released … released and no one escaped. Now she struggled with what she had done. What if the Matriarch had met with Shepard? What if she had been wrong? That they were taking her somewhere safe and that her mother was still working against Saren. The thought that her mother had chosen someone over her, Shepard feeling betrayed by her and the face of Lika condemning her was too much. Liara pulled herself up, stumbled as far as she could from her camp and threw up.

* * *

><p>"Where is she?" Sibila asked Aika once Ismene and the physician left.<p>

Aika looked at Liqiu and then took a seat next to the fireplace, "She is not in the hotel so I have my investigators checking other places."

"I must call mother!" Sibila cried.

"No!" Aika stood back up. "No one must know what is going on with either Liara or Shepard."

Sibila looked at Aika and nodded, "But should we not notify the Matriarch."

"Benezia left early this morning," Aika said, sitting back down and accepting a cup of sitruuna from Liqiu.

"This morning?" Ipa asked, confused. "Liara said that she was to be meeting with Shepard at midday."

"Maybe she misunderstood?" Liqiu said, offering Sibila and Ipa cups of sitruuna.

"Liara misunderstand an agreed upon appointment?" Aika looked at her lover.

"No, I guess she would not," Liqiu frowned as everyone else in the room looked at her as if she had implied that Liara was _human_.

"Liara's things are gone," Sibila finally confessed.

As the others seemed surprised, Aika just sighed as she looked deeper into the fire ... catching her lover's attention. Liqiu sat down next to her and asked, "Aika, what is it?"

Aika knew that it was time to tell them … she had wanted to wait until she had more information but … she looked at Liqiu, Ipomona and then at Sibila, "There was a shuttle that left here earlier today and Liara was registered as a passenger."

"Where did she go?" Ipomona asked, as Sibila began to cry.

"Nowhere," Aika stood and walked closer to the fire.

"So she is still here?" Ipomona walked to Aika.

"There are reports that the shuttle was seen crashing into the Initium Mountains," Aika whispered.

"No," Sibila cried out as she looked out the window at them. "We have to find her!"

"I have a team set to go out first thing in the morning," Aika said. "But I do not want word being sent to Benezia, Tatiaria or anyone else until they reach the site."

"Tomorrow?" Sibila could not believe what she was hearing. "She could be dead by then!"

"Sibila," Aika said, her voice steel, "To send anyone up there in the dark would be sending them to their death."

"What about Liara?" Ipomona asked.

Aika moved closer to the window, "She is the daughter of Benezia … I have to believe that she will survive."

* * *

><p>The darkness had fallen and Liara added more wood to the fire. She then crawled into her shelter where she had made a bed using the blankets and clothes she had tucked into her luggage. As she slid underneath the blankets, she grabbed the Winnie the Pooh shirt and brought it to her face. The fire cast shadows through the tree and Liara could see the bear yawning as it held a pillow. "Shepard," Liara's whispered. She thought again on what Shepard might be thinking … where she might be as she curled up on the bed, the shirt pulled close and began to cry.<p>

_You will never forgive me_, Liara thought bitterly. _Mother! Why did you do this?_ She remembered being in her mother's presence. She was as she always was within the ΕπZρεάζYω … warm, loving, tender and her mother. The Matriarch had always been Liara's center and the thought that her mother would choose someone over her. That she would lie to her. But then her mother's touch came back to her and the confusion would start all over … her emotions on a hellish rollercoaster. She looked through the branches of her shelter into the fire, drained emotionally and physically and trying hard to ignore the pain in her left shoulder. In her body.

The cold sneaking under the covers made Liara wrap her hands under Winnie as she remembered Shepard softly singing a song about _These Foolish Things_ just the previous night. Liara had almost been asleep when she heard the soft voice of her human lover and she hugged Shepard closer, asking if that song was for her. Shepard had said no. "It's for Sharon Stone … how do I tell her that I've cheated and let another into my rapturous whole? And do you think that Medusa would do some kind of wicked kissing up there?"

Liara wanted to tell Shepard that if she let Ismene Dantium, Sharon Stone or any other asari touch her in that way she would … "Oh! Shepard!"

As Liara struggled to get out of the bed, Shepard pulled her back, laughing, as she hugged her closer. "I'm so glad that you asari don't get jealous, Dr. T'Soni."

"I am not jealous!" Liara responded.

Shepard got on top of Liara and, mimicking Dean Martin, began to sing _Red Roses for a Blue Lady_. Liara couldn't help but giggle at the silly way Shepard was singing and at the sillier words of the song.

"Stop!" Liara giggled as Shepard continued between kisses. The memory made her smile despite her current situation and the bitter tears running down her face. As she buried her face in the nightshirt, she realized that behind her memory of Shepard's singing there was another noise. She froze. She knew the sound … Farkans!


	66. A Cold View

Liara slowly moved the blankets off of her as she peeked through the branches on her left. There were at least six farkans moving around the fire, quiet as they tried to smell out the creatures that had built the fire. But between the fire and the tree she was covered by, she was fairly confident that they would not smell her but … She looked up at her Gabric luggage. _Please don't find the Gabric!_ She thought of how much the bag cost and then checked herself. _Liara, better the luggage than you!_ She would rather they tear apart her Gabric then her ... after all, she highly doubted that she could survive against the six. As they continued to move about the area she began to look at the backside of the shelter. She needed a backup plan if the fire and shelter did not protect her.

The farkans were quick but if she used her biotics, _you might be able to_ … but her thoughts halted as she heard at least three more moving about in that direction. _Oh, Goddess! I am surrounded! Please do not let them realize that I am here_. Her senses on high alert she now counted … _Nine? Ten?_ _Too many_. There was no way that she could take that many on and prayed that they would move on after their curiosity over the fire was satisfied. For the next few hours she stayed perfectly still but it seemed a lifetime as the farkans moved around as if waiting for the owner of the fire to come back. They had rarely spoken to each but when they did it made Liara jerk. The sound was high pitched and felt as if someone was scraping her inner ear. Even after they had disappeared, Liara did not move for another half hour … She had seen what they had done to others before and she was afraid. Terrified. Once she tried to relax, her muscles ached against the strain that they had felt for too long.

_You must sleep_, she told her body as she returned to the blankets. As she closed her eyes her body refused to relax as every sound in the night made her jerk awake. The darkness reminding her that they were still out there … hunting ... and so sleep eluded her until the light began to push away the darkness. Push away the farkans. Feeling safer in the daylight, she slept for a couple hours and then quietly packed up and having retrieved her luggage moved towards D'Ice. She would need to keep a good brisk pace if she were to make it there before nightfall, she reminded herself. If not, she would have another another cold and sleepless night.

* * *

><p>"Anything? Any word back yet?" Chase asked Kaidan as he stepped out on the front porch.<p>

"No," Kaidan shook his head. He had stayed up all night, spending a great portion of it on the front porch. The night had been bitterly cold and it drove him in a few times but he felt guilty. He knew that if Shepard were up there she would be even colder and he wanted to show himself that one could survive the night out there. As if his staying outside would give her strength that she wasn't alone.

"Dr. T'Soni hasn't even called you back?" Chase asked, blowing into his hands.

"Nothing," Kaidan answered. "We should never have let her come here alone."

Chase stood next to the Lieutenant and looked up at the mountain … "She will be okay, sir. We have to hang on ... don't give up hope."

"What if she isn't?" Kaidan asked, running his hand through his hair. "It's been a week since she came here and for what? This Matriarch is not coming and now she might be ..."

"Don't say it," Chase cut him off. "The Commander has survived against bigger odds than a little cold."

"A little cold," Kaidan rubbed his hands together and pushed them deep into his pea coat.

Chase moved closer to the porch railing and looked up at the mountain, burying his hands under his armpits for warmth … "That farkan that Al showed us … shit. The aliens just get weirder and weirder. My grandpa once said that he use to worry about the creatures that were still unknown and hidden beneath the sea … but now. He said that his fear had expanded to space. That it was Pandora's Box but as designed by Clive Barker. He said that he keeps waiting to hear that we have found a planet of pinheads."

Kaidan thought of some of the creatures on Wetrot and nodded, "I think we saw a few back on Eletania."

"Chief said that it was really disgusting," Chase nodded. "That there were even humans being sold up on blocks."

Kaidan nodded, "I think the way we believed … or at least hoped … that we would find more enlightened beings out here in space was just a little too wishful thinking."

"Well the salarians and asari have helped us advance in science and medicine," Chase looked at the more positive. "And as Al or Joker would point out … we did find a race of women."

"Yeah," Kaidan put his back against the house and closed his eyes. He was tired but he refused to sleep until he knew. "Is there any coffee?"

"Why don't you get some sleep instead," Chase said.

"I should have forced them to take me with them," Kaidan said, his eyes dark from worry and lack of sleep ... "I should be up there with Wrex and Artur looking for her … why didn't I force it?"

"Because they are krogans?" Chase answered.

* * *

><p>The two krogan grabbed their packs as they looked at their camp … a battleground with bodies of farkans scattered about. There had only been five but both krogans had scars and at one point Wrex had worried that they might not make it. The blood rage was the one thing in their arsenal that nature had given them to conquer their enemies. They had needed it. Neither krogan had discussed the battle as they began to move forward but both wondered if any survivors of the crash would still be alive if the farkans had headed to the crash as well. They were a curious and very territorial species. The mountains belonged to them and no one normally argued.<p>

"The storm is moving down toward us," Artur motioned up at the peak. "Pyscata is telling us that we do not belong here … only her mountain children."

Wrex gave a small grunt as he looked up at the storm. Nothing was going to stop him from looking for Shepard and as they moved forward he half-expected to see her smiling and coming down … with a farkan as a new crewmember. The thought made him give a snort and Artur looked back at him, asking what was wrong. Wrex didn't answer but moved ahead of Artur. God or no god. Storm or no storm. Farkans or no farkans. He was moving forward.

* * *

><p>Liara finished her morning meal, wishing that she had a cup of hot sitruuna to go with it, and then thought about the chocolate cookies on the Normandy as she placed the empty wrappers in her waste bag. She had wanted to eat much earlier but needed to put space between her and her camp ... She could not risk staying there any longer than needed even if it was day. In her studies of Quana that she had performed prior to her work there, she had researched these creatures. It was true that the farkans were normally seen in the night, but she knew that they also were known to roam in the daylight on occasion. It was considered rare, but Liara believed rare was not so rare. She did not want to be open to that rare and have them return to her shelter out of curiosity while she was still there.<p>

The ice rain had started halfway through her meal and it reminded her that the storm was moving towards her. If it caught her she would have to stop and find shelter … she looked at her rations and knew that she would need to refill the water containers in case the storm lasted longer than a few days. Not that she planned on being up there that long but she knew that to fail preparing for the worst … it could be fatal.

So before moving down the mountain she fought against the weakness of her shoulder and climbed up a tree to look for a possible water source and also possible dangers or people searching for her. She knew that there would be someone coming to check for survivors and her stomach turned as she thought of Shepard being in that group. She did not want her to be part of the search team. The thought of the Commander _saving her_ was the last thing she wanted. No. She wanted to make it to D'Ice on her own.

She looked out at the Crystalis Resort … it seemed so close yet she knew that it was at least a week or more walk away from her. Her thoughts fell back on Shepard and as she continued to look at the city, she swore that she would find a way to show Shepard that her intentions were true. _You must forgive me, Shepard. I can fix this … I promise_.

* * *

><p>Shepard felt as if her throat was filled with sharp pebbles as she slowly started to wake up. It hurt to swallow and she knew that speaking would be out of the question. She slowly pushed back the covers as she forced herself to sit up and get her bearings. Looking at the IV in her right hand and seeing that she was not in a hospital room but an apartment made her shake her head. The last time she woke up with an IV was in her own cabin and now this. <em>Why do I not rate a hospital room?<em> The floor to ceiling windows on her left were covered but Shepard guessed that she had to still be in the Aikaterine ... but where in the hotel? As she sat up and dropped her legs over the side, she looked down at the white silk pajamas she was wearing … _who dressed me in these? And where is Liara?_ As she slowly started to stand up the door opened.

"Shepard," Liqiu smiled, as she helped Shepard stand. "How are you feeling?"

Shepard tried to ask what happened but her voice couldn't push past the razor sharp pebbles in her throat. So she just pointed to her throat and shrugged. The nurse soon followed in and began to ask her questions but she got the same response as Liqiu. All Shepard wanted to know was where Liara was. Before she could try and force this question out, Liqiu called an attendant into the room and ordered breakfast for Shepard. "You are hungry?"

The thought of using her throat for anything, even swallowing, was not a pleasant thought so she shook her head no.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Liqiu looked embarrassed. "The doctor said that your throat would be sore for at least a few days."

_A few days?_ Shepard frowned. She would not call her throat sore … try Texas chili painful times ten.

"Would you like something to drink?" Liqiu asked. "Coffee?"

_Coffee!_ Shepard flinched at the word as she remembered what Liara had done. _You couldn't just betray me with a kiss? _

Liqiu tried to make Shepard comfortable as she opened up the windows, had fresh flowers brought in and offered her reading material. Shepard wanting to just go back to sleep and not keep struggling to swallow, put her head back on the pillow and as she looked out at the Initium Mountain, now half hidden by clouds, thought of Liara. _I swear when I find you I'll cut out your heart!_

As Shepard continued to look out the window, her thoughts growing darker, Aika could see that she was angry and it worried her. Aika had shared some of her suspicions about what may have happened and looking at Shepard's face she began to think she was right. There was no asking or should she say miming of where Liara was and the coldness in her eyes … Liqiu needed to call Aika.

Liqiu told Shepard that she would be back later but Shepard did not hear her. The preacher woman was drowning out everything as her memory spoke to her daughter, _Elizabeth, love your enemies and pray for those who would persecute you_. Shepard, still looking at the mountain, wiped the bitter tears that had escaped down her face as she shut her heart, _not this time mom … I can't pray for her unless it's over her grave. _

* * *

><p>Liara had tried to time the approaching storm but it had moved much faster than she had anticipated. As the dark clouds robbed the light from her and began covering her in snow, Liara cursed herself for not timing it right. Now she had to scramble to make shelter and at the same time not be caught by the farkans. With the light dimmed, she knew that it would encourage them to come out and she did not want to play with them. Not today. Liara looked around and did not see any place that was suitable for her and so she had told herself that she would once again need to climb up a tree to get a better view. Maybe if she could see a potential place for shelter off in the distance ... or at least water.<p>

Liara buried her luggage in the snow and then looked for the tallest and strongest tree that she could find. _This is the one,_ Liara told herself as she pulled the hood tighter and looked up at the tree that she had chosen for the dance. _Remember the red route?_ She said to encourage herself as she moved up the tree. _This is nothing compared to that._ The Matriarch had smiled when she had told her that she had climbed it … "and without biotics, mother!" As she pulled herself up to another branch, Liara smiled at the Matriarch calling Kyriake in to share the news. "Liara, tell Kyra what my daughter has accomplished this evening!" _Mother_, she stopped and placed her forehead against the tree. The memory was too much and she began to shake as the tears fell. Her pain could not be silent any longer and her screams of abandonment cut across the mountain and tore at the sky.

* * *

><p>"Do you hear that?" Artur asked as he stopped chewing on their midday meal. They had run into a farkan scout and wanting to stretch their rations decided to eat him instead. He didn't taste bad but Wrex would have preferred a pyjak over him.<p>

"Asari," Wrex said, remembering the very same type of scream coming from an asari in his past. It was one of the few sounds that could stop him and leave him cold inside.

"The farkans must have caught her," Artur grunted, as he moved closer to the fire.

_Not farkans_, Wrex thought to himself as he chewed on a leg. That would have been kinder. Whoever this asari was she had just experienced a great loss. Wrex grabbed the jug of ryncol, knowing that there was no use looking for her. Her screams seemed to bounce around them and just how close, far or in what direction was lost among the trees and rocks. If she was on the shuttle they would run into her, he told himself, but the truth was that he was focused on only one thing … Shepard.

* * *

><p>Aika was pleased to see Shepard sitting up when she entered, but she was not so pleased to see the darkness in her eyes. Liqiu had forewarned her of the change in Shepard. Aika motioned for the nurse to leave as she asked Shepard how she was feeling.<p>

Shepard nodded and then turned away to look at the mountain.

"Do you remember how you ended up in the elevator?" Aika asked, sitting down on the bed next to her.

Shepard looked at the asari … Liara's cousin … and just shook her head no before turning back to the window.

"I had hoped that you would," Aika sighed, knowing that the human was lying but understood why. "You see I have my own theory … would you care to listen to it?"

Shepard wanted nothing more than to be out of that room and away from all things asari. But she knew that she was not up to anything just yet and so she played along with Aika and nodded a yes without looking at her.

"Before I do," Aika said softly, "I need to explain the connection of mothers and daughters … It is the one relationship that keeps my people centered. From birth we are bound in a union that is critical to our development and the trust is complete. As such, we daughters do not question our mothers or their direction. That does not mean that we do not rebel … but our rebellion is always quite minor. And even that is at the approval of our mother … you see if the rebellion is too offensive then she can revoke our right to continue. I know as a human that this seems strange to you ... That your people do not have this kind of bond. But you need to understand that Liara is connected completely to the Matriarch."

Shepard focused on the mountain and her breathing as she felt her anger at what Liara had done … had tried to do. Her mind went back to when Liara handing her the coffee cup and then left her to die … _If I see you again I'll kill you_!

"Shepard," Aika said, seeing that the human's mind was darkening. "The Matriarch … Benezia lived for Liara. She tried to hide it but I saw how she struggled between her responsibilities as a Matriarch and as a mother. And contrary to what many believed, Benezia has always put her daughter first. Always. Until now."

Shepard looked at Aika as her mind returned to what Shiala had told her … _Her daughter is innocent … she has no knowledge of what the Matriarch had planned. I only pray that she never finds out and that she is safe somewhere._

"These last few times that I met with Benezia something seemed wrong," Aika confided, breaking asari custom but believing that it was needed to protect Liara. "It was not in anything that the Matriarch said … but it was there. I tried to warn Liara but it seems my warnings failed."

_You didn't warn her at all,_ Shepard reminded herself. _Seriously? She tried to kill you and you are going to start feeling guilty? What the hell is wrong with you? I will not be fooled again by her._

"Liara was starting to connect with you," Aika stood up. "She would not have hurt you … at least not knowingly. But I have a feeling that she was the one who gave you the papyr. Why?"

_Because she is as twisted as her mother,_ Shepard thought, hating herself for thinking it but also hating herself for letting the asari get that close to her. For wanting her. Maybe even needing her. _No! It was all just casual fucks, Shepard. Curiosity on your part. Alcohol. Loneliness. Nothing more. And it almost killed you._

"I think that the darkness in Benezia betrayed Liara," Aika began to pace slowly in front of Shepard. "She tried to use her to eliminate you and then she used her rights to force Liara to leave."

_She better have left_, Shepard thought. _And she better hide somewhere that I can't find her and stay there until I'm dead._

"But all this may never be answered," Aika stopped and looked at Shepard. "The shuttle that was carrying Liara crashed into the mountains yesterday."

Shepard looked into Aika's eyes, not believing her. _Trying to cover up for your cousin?_ Shepard wanted to ask. _Trying to protect her? Trying to hide her? It won't work. I'll find her. I'll use all my power as a SpecTRe after I destroy Saren and find her. She'll wish that she had just stabbed me to death. _

Aika could only see a cold darkness in the human's eyes and knew that she was right about Liara … she had been responsible. Shepard's coldness at the mention of Liara confirmed it. And now, Liara's actions had lost this human to her. Aika had planned on telling Shepard that the rescue shuttle had found no survivors in the area of the shuttle but believed that at least one person may have survived. There were small signs that someone had moved away from the shuttle, with tracks leading down the mountain. The search, however, had been stopped after the storm had moved in. But looking into Shepard's eyes she remained silent. "If I receive any updates, I will let you know. But for now, I will leave you to rest."

As the door closed behind Shepard she turned back to the window … _Don't you dare die unless it's by my hand! Do you hear me, Liara? _The weather had started to change, the sky darken as ice rain started hitting against the window. _Elizabeth, you must be open to forgiveness_. Shepard closed her eyes. _Mother! Please go away and let me be angry! At least for a day! She poisoned me! I promise that I'll give her a chance to explain … right before I choke her to death. I promise if you just let me be human! Just once!_

* * *

><p>Liara had been sitting up in the tree quiet and watching the snow fall longer than she even realized. Her grief had left her empty and she was in no hurry to go anywhere … she had even thought of just staying there until she died. She had started to drift off once but the Matriarch's voice woke her as she repeated, <em>Trust your instincts, Liara. Move carefully …Don't lose your way. She'll need you ...You must be strong!<em> Liara shook her head, _she hates me! She hates me and I do not know how to fix this! I have failed you and her … I … _the words stopped as Liara caught movement to the southeast of her.

She had noticed the stream earlier, planning on making a stop there on her way down to refill her containers, but now she could see that it was not safe. There were at least a dozen farkans moving about it. This meant that she would have to move farther down before she risked it. Brought back to her reality, she started to climb down when she caught movement farther down the stream. Two krogan.

"No," she had whispered. They would be no match for that many farkans if they collided with one another. _Maybe they will miss each other_, she had hoped as she watched the krogans moving even closer. The farkans began to move away but a noise caught the attention of an older farkan whose head seemed to snap to in the direction of the krogans. Liara knew in that moment that the two krogan were going to die unless she did something. She felt her shoulder, wincing slightly, and then looked at the area that would be the battleground. "If I am going to die then let it be here," Liara said as she began to climb down the tree.


	67. A Devil's Agreement

"This storm is getting worse," Wrex growled as he sat down on a felled tree. "Colder."

Artur shrugged his shoulders in agreement as he walked over to the icy stream and started to drink.

Wrex hated the cold and as the sky darkened it was becoming obvious that they would need to seek shelter soon. This was not what he wanted as he worried that Shepard, if she was up on the mountain, could not survive much longer. Knowing this, he looked up at that mountain top and cursed the storm.

"Psycata is warning us," Artur said, as if he heard Wrex's curse.

Wrex gave a grunt, not believing in any mountain god, "Warning or not … we will move forward."

"This human may freeze to death before we even reach her," Artur reminded his companion as he splashed water on his arms.

The sight made Wrex shiver and he began to stomp his feet to fight off the cold. He could not understand how this krogan seemed to enjoy the freezing winds and water. "You from Tuchanka?"

"Born and bred," Artur looked over at him.

"And you like this?" Wrex opened his arms to their surroundings.

"Not at first," Artur said, turning back around. "But in time we adapt to our surroundings. I adapted."

Wrex knew those words to be true … the krogan did adapt as needed. But this was not the place that Wrex ever planned on having to adapt to. He preferred much warmer climates. Hot and humid was his choice of weather. As Artur splashed around in the water, Wrex heard a branch break on a tree and then come crashing down. A sign to him that the snow was getting heavier as the sky darkened and the temperature dropped at a fast rate of speed.

As the two krogan paused, the farkans rushed forward like a school of piranhas … Wrex had hunched over, trying to get warm, as Artur took another drink in the stream when they hit. Wrex had just looked over at Artur when six of the farkans attached themselves like ants to Artur, sending all seven over into the stream. Wrex started to stand but he was quickly overcome by five farkans ... They pushed him over the felled tree and began to tear into him. Two farkans were a challenge to krogans … five was certain death and Wrex knew this. He knew this as he struggled to get them off, biting down on the head of one as he tried to use his biotics … tried, but failed. The razor sharp teeth and claws of the farkans were slicing easily through his armor and his tough hide … tearing into him and draining him of his power.

As Wrex struggled, Liara raced forward. It had taken her longer than she had wanted to get to them but she was finally there … She could see that the krogan had been overcome easily by the creatures. The older farkan had stood off to the side watching and Liara had a personal moment of struggle ... A crisis of faith. Her terror of them told her to leave these krogans to their fate and escape but as the doubt began to creep in, she heard her mother push her on … _Liara, remember that you are my daughter and have the blood of Cerelia! Do not dishonor me or her memory in cowardice!_ Pushing forward, Liara picked up speed and as she passed the older farkan she hit him with her biotics … the push so forceful that his back was broken against the first tree he hit and then his neck snapped on the following.

His scream made two of the farkans on top of Wrex look up as the other two continued to rip him apart. Eyes glaring and teeth chattering at her, Liara fought running away as she stopped and prepared for them. They left the krogan and ran at her as she pulled out the pistol and aimed carefully at the farkan on the right … _Do not panic. Just aim and squeeze_. She squeezed but … nothing. The gun would not fire and Liara started to panic when she realized that the safety was still on … _Shoot often, doctor?_ She could just imagine Shepard teasing her and it made her smile. The smile may have not fit the circumstance but it helped her keep from losing control as she took the safety off and ... down the farkan went.

The error, however, cost her precious time as the second farkan slammed into her and tried opening her throat up with its teeth. Liara caught him by the neck and as it bit the air instead of her, she struggled to bring her pistol up to its head. The farkan unable to get its teeth into her used its claws instead and dug into her injured shoulder, making Liara cry out in pain as she dropped the pistol. Her scream grew louder as it ripped into her deltoid but the cry was now more anger than pain. She was thinking of this foul thing killing her and how others would respond; her mother thinking that she had been too weak to survive and Shepard thinking that she could not take care of herself. _NO!_ Liara drove her fingers into the creature's eyes. It cried out, piercing her ears and as she pushed harder it let go of her. Liara began to strangle it as it clawed at her and as it continued to claw blindly … cutting into her cheek and neck in its struggle … she would not let go … she continued to squeeze until in its final moments it urinated on itself. Liara could smell the sourness of its fluid and dropped it in disgust.

Standing over the two dead farkan she looked at the ones that were still living and killing the krogan ... She could see that while the creatures were still in a frenzy the krogan was no longer struggling against them. She worried that she may have truly been too late as she picked up her pistol and getting closer, shot both in the head. "Please be alive," she said as she pulled the farkans off the krogan. Once they were removed she looked down at the krogan to check his vitals and choked ... "Wrex!" Seeing the damage that the farkans had done she was surprised to see that he was still hanging on. But he also would need help if he were to continue in his fight … She thought of her luggage with the med kits and before she could head back, she heard splashing and a farkan cry out. She remembered that there had been another krogan and she quickly covered Wrex up with fallen branches to hide him before heading downstream. There she saw the other krogan drowning the last farkan.

Artur had moved into deeper waters when they had attacked him … deeper waters where he knew that he had the power. Krogans could stay underwater much longer than farkans and he had successfully drowned all but this last one … until now. It had required additional work as it kept slipping away and bobbing up for air. As he let it go he saw the asari appear and seeing the injured shoulder and farkan blood mixed with hers expected to hear that Wrex had not survived. Liara helped him out of the water and before he could even ask she told him that his companion was alive … but barely. "We will need to make a shelter and I have to retrieve my bag. It has medkits."

"Make it quick, commando," Artur said, once he saw the state of Wrex … As the krogan began to build a quinzhee, Liara left to retrieve her luggage.

* * *

><p>Her luggage had just arrived from the Aikaterine and Shepard was glad. With her luggage came her complete freedom from all things asari. Aika's physician was not happy that Shepard was leaving the hotel so soon but she couldn't stay there any longer. Arriving at the Lowndes Hotel she requested that English tea with honey and lemon be sent up. Shepard's voice was still MIA and swallowing brutal but as she looked around she knew that it didn't matter. She was alive. Against all odds she was still there. <em>Thanks, mom!<em> _And thank your God!_

As Shepard sat down with the tea, ready to begin drafting her report she thought of the fire and water show that would already be started on the lake. This hotel room did not have a view of it and she frowned. She had grown to love watching it almost nightly. But her view now overlooked Hedone Odosa, the main street of Crystalis. The view was nice with all the lights, architecture, fountains and patches of parks … but she had grown accustomed to the lake and mountains. _You can't have everything_, she told herself as she began to start her report to the Councilor Tevos.

A quarter into it and she stopped ... _What do you write now?_ Shepard asked herself, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and middle finger. _Despite the fact that we were here to either kill or detain her mother … I … I slept with her. Crazy, you ask? Oh, no … the good doctor is innocent and not part of her mother's plans with Saren. How could you even say that, Councilor? After all, after I slept with the Matriarch's daughter, she poisoned me as a thank you. It's just the asari way. Right? _

Shepard stood up and walked to the window. She thought about the last time they were together and it just didn't add up. Liara had been worried as she instructed Shepard on how to behave in front of the Matriarch … _if she was poisoning me why did she stress how I should act? Shit! Stop it! She poisoned you! Period! It was all an act. Everything. _ Shepard fought back the tears as she looked over at the report. _You just had to sleep with her! And now she is somewhere laughing at you! Telling others that she fooled you … and it was so easy. How could you have been so stupid? For an asari! You deserved to die. Letting your guard down like that._ Then Shepard's mind would go back to their time together. The way that Liara had touched her, scolded her, smiled at her … _Was it all an act? What was she really thinking when she touched me? Did it disgust her? _ Shepard ran her left hand down her side and thought of all of her scars. _How could I have been so blind?_

Shepard went over to the bar and grabbed the Gran Patrón Burdeos and a high ball … _How could you lose sight of what you were doing? How could you trust her?_ Sitting down on the couch, Shepard opened the tequila and filled the high ball. _Tonight let us celebrate a lesson learned as taught by an asari professor. Well done and well played!_ Shepard raised her glass to the window; _wherever you are Dr. T'Soni may you enjoy your success at fooling me. Enjoy it now because your happiness won't last long. This I promise._

* * *

><p>Liara, upon returning with her bag, helped Artur finish building the quinzhee and then as he collected firewood she tended to Wrex and his injuries. She didn't understand why Wrex was on Quana but kept her questions to herself as he lay unconscious. Liara looked at Artur and wondered how he knew Wrex. What they were doing up on the mountain. Questions she did not ask as she never trusted easily … especially non-asari. Until she knew who he was … she was keeping her identity to herself and letting him continue to think that she was just another asari commando. As the two sat around the fire, he chewing on a farkan and her eating a meal packet, he finally asked her if she had been on the shuttle. Liara nodded and then he asked if any others survived to which she just shook her head no. The krogan did not ask what happened and she was grateful.<p>

After the late meal, Artur said that he would head back to D'Ice for help. Both knew that dragging Wrex down the mountain in a litter would require more than a krogan and an asari. They would need at least two more people plus protection against the farkans. He said that he could get a few fishermen to come plus "there are three humans that came with this krogan." Liara bit her tongue yet again even though she really wanted to know who they were. She hoped that it wasn't Chief Williams or Serviceman Mancini. Those two always made her feel unwelcome ... She was hoping for Lt. Alenko. He might know how to make Shepard understand why she had left. But she pushed her curiosity to the back as she told him that she and the unconscious krogan would be safe until he returned with help. Artur nodded as he reminded the asari that the farkans were more active at night and then crawled out of the shelter.

With his exit, Liara checked on Wrex and then pulled out the netbook from her luggage. The Winnie the Pooh shirt caught her eye and she wondered what Shepard was doing_. No_, Liara told herself. _You will not lose sight of what needs your attention_ … she began to focus on the vision from the Prothean beacon and what this conduit might be. She knew that it was not only a warning but also a message that there was a … a … a way to stop them? Or was it just a simple warning? No, it contained a key_. A place?_ Liara frowned, wishing that the large chunk missing from the message was not hidden from her. _Could there be another beacon that contains the same message? A beacon that Saren has not found yet? Or another way to … to warn … _Her mind went back to the wall of Kyuos. If only she and the team … _Zazzy _… had translated the second code. She now knew that it must have been part of this.

_There just has to be more, _Liara began opening up past research projects. _If I could find another possible source than Shepard … Shepard would … Shepard. _She thought of their time together at the human restaurant and then her mind went to Shepard dancing with her own kind. How relaxed the Commander seemed with other humans ... Her soft words, an easy laugh, acceptance of strangers' hands extended, that approving smile. _If only you could be like that with my people. To feel comfortable in my world as you do in yours. _Never mind that Liara was even less comfortable in the human world. But she was talking about the asari … How anyone could not see the beauty, the wisdom or grace of her kind was almost offensive to her. Liara's attitude would have made Shepard laugh as she teased, _pearls before swine, Liara!_

_Shepard, you must understand why I had to leave, _Liara thought as she looked away from her netbook and at the fire_. _The flames pushed her towards their nights together ... The sound of Shepard crying out, her body in a different rhythm as she forced Liara on her back and straddled her. _This way, Liara_. As she felt the human so close to release she had tried to move on top of her again but Shepard had fought her. _No, Liara … not like that. Ever_. Liara moved closer to the fire. _Was that only for human males? _She had studied human sexuality when she realized that she wanted Shepard and missionary was standard. Was that why Shepard would not allow it?_ Is that for this Arc man? Is it how you show submission? _ Liara did not like thinking a human male was considered more worthy than her. She not only hated being told no but also being pushed away without knowing why. No other lover had ever stopped her when she was touching them. Yet this human had done just that throughout their nights together. Acts of refusal when she should have had total control ... _Did you not really desire me? _ Liara's shoulder reminded her that she needed a doctor herself and it was a welcome interruption to her thoughts. She did not want to think about Shepard. "Use your time in a worthy way," she said to herself as she bundled up and went back to her research. _If you can figure out what is missing then maybe she will forgive you … believe in you._

* * *

><p>Shepard looked at her coffee and without taking a sip pushed it away, focusing instead on her orange juice. She had ordered a jambon et fromage crêpe for her very late breakfast, or should she say late lunch? And now looking at it she felt queasy. She had drunk just a little too much tequila and foolishly had a couple glasses of wine to the mix ... and now was paying for it. Severely. Downing both the orange juice and water faster than usual, she stumbled back to her bed and crawled in, pulling the covers over her head. Just a few minutes later, she groaned as a knock came on the hotel door. "Merde!" Shepard said, crawling slowly out of her recovery zone and grabbing her robe as she headed for the intruder of her peace.<p>

"Salaa," Psyria, Councilor Tevos' Executive Assistant, smiled as she and a salarian walked pass Shepard and into the suite. "I am Psyria … In case you did not remember."

"Salad to you?" Shepard, her voice just barely audible and raspy, stood stunned at her appearance.

"The Councilor wished that we speak in person," Psyria said, looking around the human suite and the Louis XVI furnishings. _Is this what you humans like?_

"That serious?" Shepard looked out in the hallway and saw the six commando personnel wearing the mark of the asari Councilor's office standing at attention in the hallway. Returning her own attention back to the asari and salarian now moving about her suite, she watched as the salarian swept the rooms with some type of device and once finished left without saying a word.

"You can shut the door now," Psyria said, "The rooms are clean and the guards will see that we are not disturbed and that you are protected."

Shepard, battling her hangover, closed the door and moved to the couch, "Can we talk later, Lebanon?"

"Later?" Psyria looked out over the resort. "I am afraid not, SpecTRe. And my name is Psyria … not this Lebanon."

"Sorry about that, Damascus," Shepard mumbled under her breath.

"I have arrived on Quana for just one thing ... this conversation. And once we are done I will be leaving," Psyria continued, "I can hear that speaking may be hard on your throat … but we both must suffer. Me with the travelling and you the sharing."

Shepard carefully stretched out on the couch, her stomach upset as she fought nausea, "Okay ... as long as your idea of _sharing_ does not include going inside my head."

"There is nothing that a human has in their … head … that would interest me," Psyria looked over at the bar and the bottle of tequila, "Were you celebrating?"

"Huh?" Shepard looked over at the tequila, "Uh … sure."

"And now suffering," Psyria walked over to the door and opened it long enough to speak with the salarian.

Shepard could not hear them and could not care less …. _Please go away_, she thought as her head pounded, her stomach churned and her brain hid somewhere other than in that room of noise and light.

Psyria returned to the living area, taking a seat on the smaller sofa facing Shepard and said, "The Councilor's sources say that Dr. Liara T'Soni has been located and will be brought to Donan Ice by tomorrow morning."

Shepard wanted to be angry, to ask how soon she could see her and wring her neck … but she was struggling to not vomit in front of the asari councilor's assistant, "That's … good news."

"Is it?" Psyria asked. "I would have thought that given your poisoning by her hand that you would have wished her to die in the crash."

"What crash?" Shepard pulled a couch pillow over her eyes.

"Dr. T'Soni was in a crash on Initium Mountain … were you not informed?" Psyria looked at the human suffering and could not understand why the Councilor put so much faith in her. _Tela Vasir would have been a better choice than this weak human ... much better._

Shepard held up her right index finger just as she tried to speak but … no! She raced to the bathroom leaving Psyria to stand up and wait for her to return. Having emptied her stomach of the orange juice and water, Shepard returned, her throat completely raw and a dab of toothpaste on her cheek. She then poured herself another glass of orange juice, "Liara was … crashed?"

A knock came on the door and Psyria walked over … after speaking with the salarian she returned to Shepard where she produced a pill and holding it up said, "Take this."

"No, thanks," Shepard was not taking anything again from an asari. "I have no plans on trusting your kind again."

"I was not asking … or looking for your trust," Psyria answered, and then smiled, "I do not have time to wait for you to get better on your own …. The pill will rehydrate your body and even help your throat."

"A hangover pill plus a throat lozenge?" Shepard hated trusting a blue creature again but … she hated how she was feeling … and that little pill that Psyria was holding up … _Crapsmackers!_ Shepard took the pill, "I feel as if I'm making some kind of deal with a devil. Has anyone ever called you one, Samaria?"

"Psyria," the asari corrected, "And no … Why would anyone have called me an entity that to humans is the personification of evil?"

Shepard swallowed the pill with her orange juice and within a matter of minutes she felt … "Better! Wow! Where can I get more of these?"

"You cannot," Psyria answered, sounding bored.

"Why?" Shepard touched her throat and realized that there was no more pain there as well.

"If that pill was to be distributed to your kind," Psyria answered, "humans would increase their alcohol consumption."

"And you care?" Shepard teased.

"No," Psyria answered, honestly. "But others do … The pill does not heal the damaging effects but simply masks them. There are concerns that it might lead to alcohol poisoning if distributed to your kind."

"But I'm a SpecTRe," Shepard answered. "Isn't there a chance that I could keep my own stash … just in case?"

"It is better if you learn to drink in moderation," Psyria instructed as if talking to a child.

Shepard shook her head as she sat back down on the couch, "Why did you come to see me, Bethlehem?"

Psyria sat opposite her, "Psyria …The Councilor has sent me to you so that her request for you to protect Dr. Liara T'Soni is made in person."

"What?" Shepard rose up.

"She fears that the Matriarch will use her influence on the Citadel and take Dr. T'Soni," Psyria answered, still sitting down and looking at the untouched meal. "This must not happen"

"Well, you can tell the Councilor that Dr. T'Soni is not setting foot on the Normandy again," Shepard answered, feeling the anger rising in her at the thought of being around Liara … _and protecting her? When frackin' pigs fly jets! _

"You are refusing the Council?" Psyria asked.

"Yes," Shepard said, through clenched teeth.

Psyria sighed, "And why are you refusing? What do I tell the Councilor upon my return?"

"Why?" Shepard was stuck … _What do I say? Because she poisoned me seems a petty good reason. But it's more than that … I don't want to see her again ... I don't want others to know that I slept … no, let's call it what it was … that I was fucked by an asari in more ways than one. That seeing her will hurt. _

"SpecTRe," Psyria stood slowly, "I understand that there has been a misunderstanding between you and Dr. T'Soni. But the Councilor believes that she is a key that Saren needs and that the Matriarch will use her power to have Dr. T'Soni help them … This cannot be allowed."

"So tell the Councilor that I said to release the information that this Matriarch is wanted for treason," Shepard said, frustrated at it all. "Let everyone know that she is dangerous and lock Dr. T'Soni up."

"You are not asari," Psyria's tone turning to ice. "Do not offer advice where you are ignorant."

Shepard wanted nothing more than to kick this arrogant asari bitch out of her room but … _Elizabeth, if you watch your words and hold your tongue when angered, you will save yourself so much grief and shame later _… "Well, ignorant or not ... I really can't help you. I'm not a security service and it seems that Liara is better served under your watch. Not mine."

"The Councilor is asking for a favor," Psyria seemed to almost laugh. "A favor that she would then be open to returning one day. But I see that the poisoning has clouded your judgment."

_Mom, she really wants me to kick her ass_ … "Clouded?" Shepard forced a smile. "My kind is funny ... If someone tries to kill us we really don't want to see that person unless it's in a sniper's scope. If little miss poison T'Soni were to step on the Normandy, I'm not so sure that she would live very long."

Psyria's smile faded and was exchanged with a dark look that made Shepard's skin crawl, "That day would seal the fate of many … and you. Dr. T'Soni is part of the Corallium Circle and if anything happened to her they would seek justice. Nothing would protect you … Not your SpecTRe status and not your Alliance … she is not some perioikos asari."

"Do these coral circle jerk asari carry cards?" Shepard said, fighting her own anger. "Or maybe they wear little signs? I would hate to kill one unknowingly and end up on a most wanted list. And are there other groups in other species that I must grant diplomatic immunity to? I didn't receive an employee's manual with my badge."

_Yes, Tela should be in charge of this_ … "Of course not," Psyria sat back down. "The Councilor wants Dr. T'Soni protected and believes that only you can do this."

Shepard walked over to the window, "And if I refuse?"

Psyria remembered what the Councilor had said … _If my sources are true, Shepard has started to desire Liara, use it. Use her more base emotions _… "SpecTRe, Dr. T'Soni is one of the most knowledgeable in regards to the Protheans. The Councilor believes that this very reason is why Saren wants her … or at least hopes that it is the only reason. There were rumors that he had his eyes set on her for pleasures. He may even have looked at her as a potential mistress to be kept … turians can be quite insatiable when it comes to my kind. It could be a mixture of knowledge and attraction."

Shepard thought of Liara with Saren and started to laugh, "Well, once she serves him coffee I'm sure that his attraction for her would end."

"This is not to be laughed at," Psyria said as she stood up. "The Councilor has made this request that you put Dr. T'Soni under your protection … Are you refusing? Are you closing a door? Thinking short-term?"

Shepard needed to keep the Council on her side and knew that favors were better than money when it came to a Councilor … and Liara was a Prothean expert. She needed a Prothean expert on her team … _but she poisoned me! Are you crazy? What are you thinking? Wait! You could say yes and then fix her death to look accidental. You could_. "Can I keep her in the brig?"

"Brig?" Psyria asked.

"Behind bars?" Shepard turned around. "This may come as a shock to you but I do not want to be poisoned and experience dying like that again."

"You may have her secured if it makes you more comfortable," Psyria answered. "But she is not to be harmed or killed … do you understand?"

"When will she be delivered to the Normandy?" Shepard asked.

"Once she is safe in Donan Ice," Psyria moved towards the door. "A transport will take her to your ship."

Shepard could not believe that she was agreeing to this madness. _What next? Holding a tea party for Saren?_ "Tell the Councilor that I will accept Dr. T'Soni on the Normandy but if she does anything suspicious or tries to serve me coffee ... I can't promise that she will not be harmed."

"Let us hope for your sake that nothing happens to her," Psyria said as she gave a slight bow and left Shepard standing alone.

_Why do I get the feeling that you are behind this?_ Shepard looked out over the resort as she talked to her mother, the preacher woman. _Is this my punishment for sleeping with an alien? _Shepard brushed back her hair as she struggled with herself … _I can't put her in the brig … people would ask why and if they learned that she poisoned me … Right there! _Shepard shook her head, _She poisoned me! How can I not put her in the brig? How do I not strangle her when I see her? _Shepard looked at the bottle of tequila but decided against it … _I can't let others know what happened … not on the Normandy. It would put her at risk … but then she could poison others._ Shepard began to pace_. I'll have her stripped search … every orifice … but then they would ask why. Crap! _Shepard went back to the window and put her forehead against the glass. _Mother, this has to be your doing! Teaching me forgiveness? Teaching me self-restraint? Teaching me to not sleep with asari? Just don't expect me to put anything in the offering plate … and if I do kill her … this is all your fault. All of it!_


	68. Asari Voodoo

Kaidan was nervous. He had just received word from Pressly that the Commander was on her way to the hospital from Crystalis. He had hoped that she wouldn't be informed until after Wrex was out of surgery and back on his feet. After all, krogan with their physiology were not put down easy or for long ... and Wrex had to survive this. Kaidan still could not believe how the farkan had shred through not only the armor but the tough hide of the krogan. As Kaidan looked at the time he hoped that Shepard's flight would be delayed at least until Wrex was out of surgery … he not only hoped but gave a slight prayer.

Kaidan was also tired as he had been part of the team that had went up the mountain to bring Wrex down. Battling the fatigue he poured himself a cup of coffee even though he really didn't care for the stuff. Adding cream and sugar he looked at the caramel colored liquid and hoped that it would do the trick. As he took a sip he thought of the rescue mission and how he was caught completely off-guard to see that the asari commando that Artur had mentioned was in fact Dr. T'Soni. He had so many questions for her but he not only could see that she had just been through a very harrowing ordeal, her wounds had left her weak and confused. Once they arrived at the hospital she, like Wrex, had been taken to surgery. _How did Liara end up on that shuttle? Why was she dressed as a commando? Why wasn't Shepard with her? Where was the Matriarch?_ These were just a few of the questions that Kaidan had as they trekked back down the hill.

Between pacing, drinking the coffee, praying that Shepard was delayed and worrying about his two associates … Kaidan would look out the window in the waiting room knowing that he would not see Shepard arriving from that vantage point but still looking out anyway. He had felt slightly relieved when he was informed that Liara was out of surgery with no complications and resting. But Wrex was still in surgery. Kaidan knew if the krogan died … _Shepard will kill me! _After all, he had taken responsibility for the crew on Quana and … _she is going to kill me!_ He told himself that he should not have allowed any of them to leave Feros. Never mind that Wrex was not under his authority. Hell, Wrex was under no one's authority but Wrex's ... Still. _Shepard is still going to kill me! Please arrive after his surgery!_

* * *

><p>The first familiar face that Shepard saw as she entered the D'Ice hospital was Satake's. He was smoking a cigarette near the bathrooms and when he saw her the numbskull quickly ducked into the restroom ... marked female. Shepard shook her head as she passed and headed for the waiting area where she hoped that Kaidan would be. When Shepard had contacted the Normandy to inform them that she would be returning, Pressly had informed her that there was a crew on Quana. He then slowly added that while on the planet, Wrex had been attacked by a local species called farkan and that according to a report from Lt. Alenko, was saved by an asari commando. Shepard, hearing that the Beast was hurt, demanded to know who authorized anyone leaving Feros. There was a moment of silence and then her XO said that it was his decision. Feros needed their trade route opened up again and that Wrex also needed to establish "connections … or … that was how he put it, ma'am."<p>

As she expressed her disappointment and disapproval at him for allowing this to happen … she knew that she was not being completely fair with her XO. Wrex could not be controlled by anyone. But she was still angry at her crew not staying on Feros, scared that Wrex may die and add a dash of her recent feeling of betrayal … her response was nuclear. Pressly was being verbally beaten by his Commander and she would feel ashamed later as she reflected on it while sitting on the shuttle ride to Donan Ice. This lack of grace made her promise to herself that she would hold her tongue with her crew here on Quana and apologize to Pressly when she returned to the Normandy. This promise was made easier when she saw the worried expression on Kaidan's face as he stopped pacing when she entered the room and looked up at her.

"Commander!" Kaidan almost seemed to yelp.

"How is Wrex?" Shepard asked, her tone just a little sharper than she had meant it to be.

"Still in surgery," he answered, looking down at his hands. "Do you have a sore throat?"

"It's the cold," Shepard lied, not wanting to talk about her poisoning. "How bad is he?"

"Do you want one of these?" Kaidan asked, producing a lemon flavored throat lozenge, as he tried to avoid the question.

"That bad?" Shepard frowned as she took a lozenge.

Kaidan nodded as he watched Shepard place the lozenge in her mouth.

Shepard looked around the waiting area and noticed an asari with her child. The mother was seated and her daughter was standing in front of her. They were holding hands as they looked at each other and Shepard could see that the mother was calming her child. Without looking away, Shepard asked Kaidan, "Pressly said that there was a krogan and an asari commando involved?"

Kaidan had not yet updated Pressly on the asari commando actually being Dr. Liara T'Soni … Kaidan was concerned that Saren might have spies even in D'Ice so he had instructed Liara, Chase and Satake to keep her identity hidden. At the hospital she had been received as Amelia, per Kaidan's advice, and with others in the waiting room he just nodded. "Artur says that if the … uh … commando had not arrived, well … Wrex would not be alive."

Shepard turned to face Kaidan, "Why was the commando …"

"Commander!" Satake shouted from across the hallway, acting as if he had not dodged her earlier.

Shepard looked at her serviceman and couldn't help but give a small smile as she shook her head again.

"You were missed," Kaidan said, looking embarrassed.

"I can see," Shepard said, watching Satake come running towards her as Chase moved at a more dignified pace behind him. "Why were you here?"

"The colonists needed more supplies and their trade route to D'Ice re-established," Kaidan answered, as Shepard shook her crewmen's hands.

"So this was to help Zhu's Hope?" Shepard cocked a brow at Kaidan.

"Yes, ma'am!" Satake answered. "And Wrex said that if we were closer to … well … clo…"

"We also thought that if you needed backup," Kaidan glared at Satake, "then a small team close by might be … well, closer."

"Hm-hm," Shepard's mind went to her poisoning and wanted to tell them that being closer meant nothing. What she needed was a food taster more than a body guard when dealing with the asari. "Where is this commando?"

"She is in her hospital room," Kaidan answered.

"You didn't tell her?" Satake asked, grinning wide. "You didn't say who saved Wrex?"

"We don't know if she did?" Chase frowned, his face somber. "Wrex is still in surgery."

Shepard cleared her throat and patted his upper arm, "He will make it! Beast is a lot tougher than farkups."

"Farkan," Kaidan corrected cautiously.

"What are those?" Shepard asked, looking over at the asari with her daughter again.

"Another batch of aliens," Satake answered, as he pulled up a hologram of one on his omni-tool. "Look!"

"Criminy!" Shepard flinched as it appeared screaming. The noise made her quickly cover her ears as the young asari across the waiting room cried out.

Chase slapped Satake's arm as he yelled over the farkan's scream, "Turn it off!"

"Oh, sorry," Satake answered, looking even more embarrassed when two hospital personnel ran into the room.

"And those things can take down a krogan?" Shepard asked as Chase headed for the staff to both calm and apologize for the disturbance.

"They can take down anything if there are enough of them," Artur's voice came from behind Shepard.

"Commander," Kaidan stepped towards the krogan, "This is Artur, a local fisherman. Artur this is our Commander … Shepard."

Artur looked at the human and could not believe that this was the one that Wrex and the humans had talked about. That this was the one who had gained the respect of the krogan Wrex. No. She looked to small. Too delicate. He had expected her to at least be … well, at least "bigger."

"I'm sorry?" Shepard asked confused at his one word.

Artur moved closer, looked at her much smaller frame … Yes, too delicate and "you look too soft."

"She's tougher than she looks!" Satake pushed out his chest. "Trust you me!"

"Thank you for defending my honor," Shepard smiled at her serviceman and then turned back to Artur. "But I'm afraid that this krogan has seen through me. The stories of my past are exaggerated and my image is all smoke and mirrors … that and those deeds that were accomplished were only done with the help of others."

Artur waved his head slightly and then looked at Kaidan, "Wrex?"

"Still waiting," Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck. "But the doctor said that it would be awhile."

"And the commando?" he asked, looking again at the female human.

Kaidan looked at Shepard and then said, "She will be back to a hundred percent."

"Good," Artur said and then exited without another word.

"I would like to thank this commando," Shepard said to Kaidan, not the bit thrown by Artur's behavior. She was used to the brusqueness of the krogan and knew that he meant no offense. Just speaking what he thought, asked what he needed and then left. Yes, Shepard found the manners of the krogan rude … but also honest. She would take his rudeness if it was paired with honesty at this moment. The krogan wouldn't put poison in your drink and smile as you drank it … no. They would show you the weapon before they put a bullet in your head. The krogan may not have the finesse or social graces of the asari but she preferred it … _thank you, Dr. T'Soni_.

"I don't think she would mind if we went to her now," Kaidan said, taking Shepard by the arm and heading for Liara's hospital room. He wanted Shepard to know that it was Liara and he really wanted to know how the two were separated. None of this was making any sense to him and he found the walk seeming longer than it was. As they were just outside Liara's room, Kaidan pulled Shepard to the side and whispered, "Shepard, you should know that the commando is Dr. T'Soni."

"What?" Shepard looked at Kaidan, confused. "Who?"

"Dr. T'Soni saved Wrex," Kaidan whispered.

"Who?" Shepard looked at the door thinking that she had to have heard him wrong and so she asked again, "Who did you say?"

"Dr. T'Soni," Kaidan repeated. "Why was she on a shuttle?"

"Shuttle?" Shepard's mind began to race as she remembered how she was told of the … _crash?_

"We were under the impression that she was still with you," Kaidan said. "Was there a change in plans?"

Shepard felt lost and completely out of step with reality … and it was making her angry, "She was leaving."

"With the Matriarch?" Kaidan asked even as he felt the tension in the air and could see that the Commander was getting angrier by the minute.

"No," Shepard said, as she gritted her teeth and continued to think of the last time she was with Liara. A part of her wanted to go into the room and kill her but another part was … _glad that she's safe?_ Shepard gave a small snort as she internally laughed … _she poisons you and you're glad she is safe? What the hell? Is this some kind of asari voodoo? Or are you just stupid?_

"Commander?" Kaidan could see that Shepard had mentally slipped off somewhere else.

Shepard looked over at him standing at the door, about to open it and shook her head, "Not yet."

"Ma'am?" Kaidan asked, stepping away from the door.

Shepard needed to get her bearings. She knew that she had to be completely in control of her emotions and mind when she entered that room. "What did she say when you saw her?"

"To call you," Kaidan answered, moving closer to Shepard. "She said to call you and then started to talk a little gibberish-y. She was running a fever, injured and exhausted. The farkan had found them as she waited for Artur to return."

"Found them?" Shepard thought of the image that Satake had pulled up and looked at the goose bumps that had appeared on her arms thinking about the creatures. "Liara fought those things again?"

Kaidan nodded as he remembered the campsite ... The two dead farkan and Liara's blood all over the campsite. It had made him shiver then and it did now. "I don't know what happened while it was just those two but … Liara is not as weak or as vulnerable as I thought. Her training back on her home planet must have saved her and Wrex. And her biotic ability must be ... well, asari."

_Weak or vulnerable?_ Shepard moved even farther away from the door, with Kaidan following. She went to the window at the end of the hall and took a seat next to it. "No, Kaidan. Liara is not what she seems to be … weak … vulnerable … or innocent. Trust me."

"What happened?" Kaidan looked down at Shepard.

_Do I tell you?_ Shepard looked up at him and then over at Liara's door. _Once I do … I can't take it back. What do I do? _Shepard turned to look out the window at the freezing rain that had started to fall yet again. "This planet is just too cold."

"That's what Wrex kept saying," Kaidan said, as he followed her gaze out the window.

"Not surprising," Shepard said with a slight laugh. "The big lug can't freeze to death but you wouldn't know it by his distaste for it. At the mention of Quana he ... well, let's just say that I probably heard a precursor."

"But it didn't stop him from looking for survivors," Kaidan said. "Both Artur and Wrex knew that it was going to be dangerous and freezing. That's why they would not allow anyone else to go."

"He thought I was there," Shepard almost whispered. She didn't need to be told that her Beast had thought she was in the crash … she just knew it. And if he died it was because of her. _Please God, don't let him die._

"Yes," Kaidan took a seat on the window sill and took Shepard's right hand, "But he is going to be okay ... and he did what you would have. So no guilt on the outcome."

Shepard placed her left hand over his and smiled, "Thank you, my Buddhist monk."

"Shall we see Liara now?" he asked, giving her a gentle smile. "She was asking for you as we came down the mountain … I mean, she was calling your name and …" Kaidan was about to say her mother's name as well but thought better of it. Mentioning the Matriarch might darken the Commander's mood again.

"Give me a minute," Shepard answered, letting his hand go and slowly standing up._ Why would you call for me? Guilt? And why ask Kaidan to call me? To confirm that I was dead? _Shepard looked out at the rain and sighed. _Why did you save Wrex? Did you see him and help or walk into the battle unaware? Dammit! I don't understand. None of this makes any sense. _"Her shuttle … did she say why it crashed?"

Kaidan shook his head, "No. She was focused on contacting you and then …"

"Gibberish-y," Shepard cut in and took her seat again, looking at the door. _What game are you playing?_

"Shepard?" Kaidan sat next to her. "What happened? Why was Liara on that shuttle without you?"

"Lieutenant," Shepard answered, using his rank to change the tone of their discussion. "I'd like to see her alone, if you don't mind."

"Yes, Commander," Kaidan caught the shift and stood, "I'll go and check on Wrex. I'll be in the waiting room if you need me."

"Thank you," Shepard said, as she stood and began preparing herself mentally for Liara and the recent turn of events.

"Shepard," Kaidan moved closer, wanting to tell her that he had missed her. That he wanted her.

"If the operation is complete and Wrex is open to visitors," Shepard said, ignoring the direction that Kaidan was about to take the conversation, "I want to know immediately."

"Of course," Kaidan answered, his nerve gone at delivering his confession of absolute desire and growing need of her.

As Kaidan walked away, Shepard remembered their kiss on Feros and without warning her mind went to Liara's kiss … her wicked kiss. _Stop it._ Shepard cursed her own mind. She saw Kaidan turn to look at her just before he disappeared around the corner and it hurt. She knew that he was another good man in her life, but she would only cause him harm, like all the rest. _But I wouldn't intentionally poison him_, she thought as she looked at Liara's door again. _Speaking of poison and Kaidan …Why would you poison me and then later ask my Lieutenant to contact me? Wouldn't you want to keep him from finding out that you killed me? At least until you got away? Or were you trying to find out if he already knew?_ _ Or if I survived? _

Shepard placed her hand over her eyes as she tried to make sense of it. She then moved slowly to the door where she stopped and took a deep breath … _Remember Elizabeth, a__ fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back._ Why couldn't her mother's spirit fade away? Shepard knew why. Because she needed her. Shepard looked at her hand on the door's handle and wished that her mother was there. Standing next to her. That was it. She needed her. She needed her wisdom and her strength. _I'm not as strong as you, mother. I know that. But I'll do my best. I just can't promise that I won't kill her._

* * *

><p>Liara was sitting up in her bed remembering her desperate struggle the night before with the farkan that had found the quinzhee. They had appeared not too long after Artur had left and she had quickly realized that she was on her own. Wrex was still unconscious and if she did not get the farkan away from their shelter he would not be safe. So she had left the quinzhee and pulled them away … running as fast as she could. Their screams, breathing and chattering on her heels as she tried to ignore her body begging her to stop. But they had caught up to her and … and … their claws tore into her … but only for a moment … she had remembered her gifts and had heard the Matriarch guiding her. She had heard her mother … her mind begged her to stop. She refused to think of that night, as she refused to think of anything dark … of hopelessness … of death … of loss. <em>Not today<em>, she promised herself as she softly touched the bandages on her cheek and neck. _Today will be a day of promise_, she thought just as Shepard entered.

"May I come in?" Shepard could be heard asking.

"Shepard," She started to smile but then stopped when she saw the coldness in her eyes. "Did you just arrive?"

"Yes," Shepard answered, fighting her desire to strangle the asari. "Surprised to see me?"

Liara looked down at her hands. "Mother … the Matriarch required …" Liara looked up, "I wanted the Matriarch to see you and she required …" Liara's words died away as she could see the anger in Shepard's eyes growing.

"The Matriarch?" Shepard continuing to fight her desire to strangle Liara in that very moment.

Liara looked away from Shepard, realizing that there were no words she could say that would make the human understand. There was no way to take that anger or coldness from her eyes. _Oh, mother … I have lost both of you._

"Where were you headed?" Shepard asked, keeping a safe distance from Liara, for both their sakes.

Liara, still looking away from Shepard, answered, "I was to leave with the Matriarch after she met with you."

"After she met with me?" Shepard gave a small laugh. "Do you want to know how that meeting went?"

"Please, Shepard," Liara could hear the bitterness in Shepard's voice. "I was informed that she had left already … she had …" _lied. Why? Mother would never have lied to me. I do not understand._

Shepard's anger was being quickly doused by Liara's confusion … by her pain. _Is this acting?_ Shepard wondered as she watched Liara. _Careful Shepard … This could be a film noir moment with Liara playing Gilda … tread carefully._ _This is where she pulls you closer and then as you get within striking distance … _"What happened on the shuttle? Why did it crash? Did the Matriarch revoke your ticket?"

Shepard's last question stung Liara. As did the memory of what happened on the shuttle, of her mother's betrayal and the blood on her own hands. She had never killed before and on that flight she had slaughtered them. Silenced her own kind. She had even killed someone who had once protected her. All of it robbed her voice from her. So she looked out the window, cutting off Shepard and hoping that she would not push. She hoped that the human understood that to continue pressing her would be perioikos.

Shepard hated this part of the asari the most ... well, outside of their ability to invade the mind. That had to be the worst. But this was the second worst. Their ability to act so superior to others. Liara's demeanor said that the discussion was over and that peasant Shepard had no choice in the matter. _Agh!_ Shepard wanted to shout back. Instead she called out, "Liara, what happened?"

"No, Shepard," Liara answered, not looking at her or revealing anything. And this was the third thing, their ability to hide their emotions and thoughts. It made it so hard to read them. Something that Shepard had always been able to do with others ... a gift that she shared with her mother. But the asari were different as they hid behind their wall of diplomacy and placidness.

"Yes, Liara," Shepard responded, trying to keep control of her emotions.

Liara shifted in the bed … but remained silent.

All of the things that Shepard hated about the asari could not compete against Dr. T'Soni's impact on her. With Liara there was the addition of an influence and even an odd type of control. It was more apparent when Shepard was angry. Liara had the ability by her presence alone to make Shepard hesitate ... to not want to hurt her. The feeling made Shepard think of her mother who had the greatest influence on her. Even now. Hannah Shepard had taught her daughter that she could be better than her circumstances. That she was a better person than she herself even believed. Shepard looked at Liara's profile and then down at the bracelet. Liara was still wearing it and it made Shepard choke. Everything was so confusing and nonsensical. Why did Liara's presence alone make her hesitate to ask why she betrayed her? Tried to kill her? Here Shepard was the victim … _right?_ And somehow Liara was making her feel that she was being cruel to want to know why. Inappropriate even. _I hate you_, Shepard wanted to say. _I want to hurt you just like you did me_, she wanted to scream at her. That was the truth. She wanted to hurt Liara back. But she also needed Liara to tell her that it was all a mistake. That what they had shared was not a lie. That truth made her hate herself more than Liara. Shepard was all mixed up and Liara's wall had silenced not only Shepard's tongue but her anger. _Asari voodoo!_

Liara saw Shepard angrily take the chair not too far from her bed and carry it a little farther away. She placed it catty corner to the bed about six long strides away from her and sat down. A glare on her face that Liara pretended to not notice … she knew that the look was due to her sedating the Commander. An act that Liara did not see in the same light as Shepard. Her mother had required it and she had obeyed as any proper asari would have. In time, Shepard would grow to understand, even if humans did not have the same connections with their mother. But then Liara looked at the bracelet and thought of Hannah Shepard … A woman of influence. Even in the short time that Liara was with the human she could see that. Shepard had to understand … in time. The ice rain had begun to get heavier and a flash of lightening lit up the room as a loud crack of thunder followed seconds later.

Shepard, wanting to soften the tension in hopes that Liara would open up, was about to forward a message from her _crazy _cousin back at the Aikaterine when a nurse came in.

"I did not realize that you had a visitor," the salarian said, looking at Shepard. "Do not stay too long. Amelia is not very strong."

"She is stronger than you think," Wrex's voice was heard as he moved slowly into the room.

"No, no, no," the salarian hopped to the side at the sound of the krogan. "You should not be in here. Too many."

"Wrex?" Shepard jumped up and without thinking hugged him tight.

The hug made Wrex growl out in pain and as Shepard pulled away to apologize he grumbled, "Don't get all soft on me."

"Of course not," Shepard almost seemed to growl back. "I didn't expect you to whimper like a puppy."

Wrex gave a quick laugh and then walked over to Liara and gave a quick lick to the air … "_You will survive_," he said in his ancient tongue.

"_And so will you_," Liara answered in the same language.

"_Did you expect that I wouldn't_?" Wrex asked, looking at Liara's bandages. "_We krogan aren't as soft as you asari_."

"_I can see that_," Liara answered, looking at his bandages. "_You are also not as wise, krogan_."

"_A wisdom that will bite you in the ass if you are not careful_," Wrex laughed.

Liara could not be angry at the krogan as both remembered their moment of bonding … Liara had thought that she had killed the farkan away from their hiding place. And if there were any stragglers they would be thrown off-track as she moved through the trees. But there were two that had caught and followed her scent ... her blood. Unaware, she had stumbled toward the quinzhee and had cried out as they suddenly appeared out of the darkness chattering. She fell back on the quinzhee, wanting to cry because she knew that she had no more strength. Strength that she needed to protect the injured krogan inside. So she had only one choice … lead them away again from Wrex and if she were to be killed … at least he might survive. That had been the plan until she saw him come out, weak but ready to battle. Whatever strength either of them had left was used to conquer the enemy together and then they had returned to the quinzhee … battered, broken but not beaten.

Despite the fact that Wrex and Liara were speaking in a language that Shepard didn't understand, she could see that the Beast had developed a fondness for the asari. She also quickly realized that this was going to add to her struggle. _Let's just hope that he doesn't drink coffee_, Shepard thought as she looked out at the storm. She would need someone to confide in … someone to help her sort this out. But there was no one. She could not confide in anyone on the Normandy and the one person … her grandmother … was not an option. No need in worrying the family with her brush with death. _Another brush._ Shepard walked over to the window as lightening flashed across the sky. _You are on your own_, she told herself as she turned back to Liara who was talking to Kaidan and Wrex now. _I know the serpent you are … let's see what game you are playing, Dr. T'Soni._


	69. The Truth & Thank You

"I was so worried about you," Sibila said as she entered Liara's hospital room and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"We both were," Ipomona added, moving on the other side of the bed and kissing Liara on the cheek.

"How did you know I was here?" Liara asked surprised as Sibila sat down next to her on the bed and Ipomona took a seat in a chair. "Who told you I was here?"

"Shepard called me," Ipomona answered, sitting in the very seat that Shepard had been in hours earlier. "She said that you were here, that you were safe, now named Amelia and in need of family."

"Shepard?" It had been hours since Liara had seen her and they had not spoken after Wrex, Kaidan and Chase had appeared … something that Liara had been glad of. But she was not happy when Shepard had quietly slipped out as Liara spoke with Kaidan. "She called you?"

"Yes," Ipomona said.

"It surprised us too," Sibila said.

"Not completely," Ipomona added. "Shepard is a woman of honor."

"She was angry," Liara said, looking at Ipomona. "I knew that she would not understand why I left but …"

"You think she was angry because you left?" Sibila look confused and then frowned.

"Why else?" Liara could not see any other reason unless … "I did not know that mother would not see her."

"She did not tell you?" Sibila asked.

"She wanted to know where I was headed," Liara answered. "That was all."

As Liara spoke, Sibila looked over at Ipomona who answered, "Liara, Shepard believes that you were the one who poisoned her… We do not …"

"Poisoned?" Liara looked from Sibila to Ipomona, "She was … was poisoned?"

Sibila answered, "We tried to tell her that you would never do that but …"

"It had to be someone from the hotel kitchen," Ipomona said, not believing that Liara would ever murder someone.

"I still cannot believe that even Aika thinks you were involved," Sibila said with anger. "The very idea that you would …"

"We know that it had to be someone from the hotel," Ipa repeated. "Someone working in the kitchen ... traces of the papyr was found in her coffee cup."

"Her ... her coffee cup?" Liara felt her stomach begin to turn. "Papyr? No."

"Aika kept the whole incident quiet," Sibila added. "She said that the less people knew the better. Sometimes I think that the human she is with has changed her … she even forbid me from telling mother."

"Mother," Liara thought of the vial that her own mother gave her and knew the truth … a truth that was so bitter she began to heave over the side of the bed.

"Li-Li!" Sibila grabbed the waste basket and placed it below Liara's head just in time as she began to empty her stomach.

"Nurse!" Ipomona yelled as she ran out of the room.

* * *

><p>Shepard had not only been raised to be appreciative but to show her gratitude when someone did a nice or thoughtful thing. But sometimes saying <em>thank you<em> required a little self-sacrificing and even humility. That sometimes saying _thank you_ was not something you really wanted to do … and tonight's _thank you _was one of those times. But if she was going to be the daughter of Pierce and Hannah Shepard then _thank you_ was mandatory. At least it would be given in a place that she felt more comfortable.

The place she chose was the jazz club Jalouse, located in the Lowndes Hotel ... a place that she had spent nights partying with an old Alliance buddy, Michelle Edgar. As she entered she thought that she heard a whistle but it was a little hard to be certain. Most of the club's sounds were drowned out by the jazz band playing _Autumn in New York _to a very crowded dance floor. The club was just as it had been the last time she was there with many of the patrons dressed like the prohibition era back on Earth. She only wished that she had dressed up … to pretend that the past few months had not happened. That she was a normal person, that life was good, all people were honest and the only challenge was finding a good dance partner.

As she moved through the club, enjoying the atmosphere, the music and the male attention … Shepard was still on edge. She was here to meet someone and really hoped that the person would stand her up instead. Without looking around, she headed straight to the bar and squeezing between two patrons waved the bartender over. The older male at first motioned for her to wait until he realized who was waving at him. He grinned and left another patron in mid-order, "How may I help you?"

Shepard leaned over the bar to get closer, "Do you know how to make a Vesper?"

"Any real bartender knows, Ms. Lynd," he winked.

"Then, Mr. Real Bartender, I would like one," Shepard smiled and winked back at his nod to the James Bond character, Vesper Lynd, which the cocktail had been named after.

"Right away," he answered, making a male patron move so Shepard could sit at the bar.

This was to be Shepard's last night in Quana and she planned on staying at the Lowndes Hotel, returning to D'Ice in the morning to meet with her team. From there they would leave for the Normandy still docked on Feros. Both Liara and Wrex had been approved by the doctor to travel and Shepard still could not believe Wrex. After hearing how close to death that the krogan had been … he was already walking around. Slower than usual but walking!

The band, Warlop Ensemble, had moved into _Summertime_ with the singer Dinah Pumali taking center stage. Shepard had a few of her songs on her iMuse and as she moved to the music she couldn't stop looking over at a handsome middle-aged male with Tom Selleck dimples at the bar to her right. He was her type and she loved his fashion style … a fedora and double breasted suit. She caught him looking at her in the mirror behind the bartender and it made her smile. She loved nothing more than a shy handsome man and a part of her wanted to show that her time with the asari meant nothing.

As she watched him and waited for her drink, two males approached her and began to make conversation. She realized that they had not recognized her and it felt good … but that anonymity was short-lived. The bartender placed the chilled cocktail glass filled with Vesper and garnished with an orange twist in front of her and told her that it was on the house … "Commander Shepard."

"Wait!" the taller male grinned. "Commander Shepard? The Blitz! I knew that you looked familiar!"

"And here I thought it was just from my dreams!" his friend with the spats added.

The cheesy line made Shepard laugh, "Was that your dream?"

"If it was lame it was his," the tall one bantered. "If it was the steamy one you couldn't forget …"

"It was yours," Shepard smiled at him. "Do these lines really work on other women?"

"Not really," Spats answered. "But as a woman who has saved many lost souls … I am hoping that you will show us hopeless causes some mercy."

It had been a long time since Shepard had been approached this way and after almost dying she was enjoying it. The lightness of the cheesy flirtations was a nice break from all of the recent events that she had just lived through. Still laughing, she grabbed Spats by the collar and pulled him out onto the dance floor. She would enjoy herself until her obligation arrived and if everything worked out ... Fedora would be going back to her hotel room with her by night's end. That was her plan.

* * *

><p>"We thought you knew," Sibila said to Liara as the nurse, who had given her a sedative, finally left the room.<p>

"No," Liara whispered.

Sibila took her cousin's hand, "Maybe Shepard realized that she was wrong ... that you would never try and poison her ... maybe that is why she did not ..."

"Oh, Siby," Liara looked out the window as her breathing began to slow down, her stomach empty and her tears dried. "But why would she say nothing about it? She did not even tell me that she was ... "

"Nothing?" Sibila would never understand the human.

_What must you think, Shepard?_ Liara thought as her cousin began to tell her how Shepard was found passed out in the elevator and taken to Aika's suite … all without mentioning Ismene Dantium. Sibila may not have understood Liara's feelings about Shepard but she did know that her cousin did not like Ismene. She understood those feelings because she also did not like Ismene.

As Sibila finished telling her what had happened, Ipomona added, "Shepard was fortunate that she was found by … someone who recognized what she had been given. Had the poison not been identified at that time ... Shepard would have died."

"It doesn't surprise me she recognized the poison," Sibila snorted. "I'm sure that … she has used papyr herself sometime in the past."

"Sibila," Ipomona looked at her disapprovingly.

"Oh, please," Sibila defended herself. "You did not think that as well?"

"I must speak with the Commander," Liara said, looking away from the window to Ipomona. "Ipa, please find Shepard and tell her that I need to speak to her."

Sibila looked at Ipomona with a worried look and then back at Liara, "Tomorrow, Li-Li ... I mean Amelia."

"No," Liara answered, pushing the covers off her. "I must speak to her now! She must think that I … that I meant to poison her. That I knew what I put in her coffee … oh, Goddess!"

"You? You did poison her?" Sibila asked, her eyes growing wide. "Li-Li! Why would you …"

"Tomorrow," Ipomona cut off Sibila. "Tonight … rest."

"Please!" Liara, shakily getting out of bed, could not let Shepard go another moment thinking that she tried to kill her.

"Dearest," Sibila gently forced Liara back on the bed. "You are too weak to get up."

"Shepard is not here in Donan," Ipomona finally revealed as she turned away from the two and looked out at the night sky. As she heard Liara getting back into bed, she tried to process what she had just heard. _Why would Liara poison Shepard? Why would she try to kill her?_

"Where is she?" Liara asked.

"Where?" Sibila looked over at Ipomona who looked back at her.

Seeing the look that Sibila and Ipomona gave each other only added to Liara's anxiety, "What? Where is she?"

"She is having dinner with …" Sibila knew that Liara would not like this. "… with the person that found her in the elevator."

"Who?" Liara wanted to know who Shepard owed her life to and who Shepard was at this very moment spending her time with.

"Ismene Dantium," Ipomona answered, seeing that Sibila was not going to.

"Ismene?" Liara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Shepard is with Ismene?"

"If it wasn't for her," Ipomona said, "Shepard would be dead."

"Dead," Liara fought back the tears as she laid back on her pillow.

"Li-Li," Sibila pressed on, "Why did you poison Shepard?"

Liara looked back out the window, "It was a mistake … mother said that it would calm her."

"The Matriarch?" The more that Ipomona heard, the less she understood. "She gave you the papyr?"

"She said that it would keep Shepard calm," Liara explained, "That it would keep her from trying to hurt mother."

"Well, if she were dead," Sibila said, "That would work."

"Mother," Liara thought of how she had handed Shepard the coffee and "Oh, Goddess!"

"Li-Li!" Sibila grabbed Liara as she began to dry heave again.

"There must have been some kind of mistake," Ipomona tried to calm Liara. "The Matriarch would not have had you poison anyone."

"Yes," Sibila looked at Ipomona and nodded. "It was a mistake. Someone mixed up the potion."

Liara knew that there was no mistake. The Matriarch had lied to her and given her poison to kill the Commander. _Why? Mother how could you?_ Liara, the dry heaves stopped, felt the tears start to fall again and so she closed her eyes and wished that she was back on Thessia. Back home. That the past few months were all just a bad dream. "I am so tired."

"Of course you are," Sibila said softly as she placed Liara back on her pillow and went to get a wet rag.

"Thank you," Liara said as Sibila began to wipe her face. _Ismene ... not Ismene._

* * *

><p>As Ismene slid into the skin tight Glavan dress she couldn't help but wish that she had purchased a human designed dress. She was unsure if the dress would be appropriate for a place filled with humans and there was no one in her suite that would know what was acceptable. None of her group had ever been in an all-human environment.<p>

"I do not understand why you are meeting her there," one of her party pals said.

"She should be meeting you here," another chimed in.

Ismene ignored them as she continued to get ready. A part of her was nervous about leaving the hotel and being away from her own kind but she was willing to … for Shepard. Seeing the human lying in the elevator had done something to her and when Shepard had reached out and touched her … the human had touched more than her skin.

"At least take one of us," she heard another say.

If she could gain Shepard's trust tonight that would be a start … she knew that pulling the human to her bed was probably not going to happen but for once in her life that was okay. She wanted more than just one night with Shepard … she wanted more than her body. She wanted Shepard to need her as she did when she reached out for her.

"Ismene, what will others think if they hear that you went to a human?" the first pal challenged as Ismene went for the hotel door.

"You cannot do this!" another pal stepped in front of her path.

Ismene stopped, hesitated for a second and remembered the touch. "No one tells me what to do," she hissed. "Least of all you!"

Her guests were left as she headed to the same elevator that had changed her … changed what she wanted in life. As she stepped into it Natalie Cole began singing _I'm Beginning to See the Light._

* * *

><p>"Do you want us to leave?" Sibila asked Liara who was quiet with her eyes closed. For the first time in her life she was at a complete lost … she didn't know what Liara wanted or needed from her and Sibila was also very afraid of what she had just heard. Her Theia had used Li-Li to try and murder someone? It just sounded impossible. A cruel lie. Not the Matriarch Benezia. She would never have done that.<p>

"Stay," Liara whispered as she reached over to Sibila, who was sitting next to her and taking her hand, kissed it and held it against her chest. "I do not want to be alone."

"Then sleep," Sibila began to hum an asari lullaby as Ipomona stared out at the night sky.

"Sleep," Liara whispered back.

"Shhh," Sibila looked over at Ipomona and saw that her fear was shared. If the Matriarch had just tried to use Liara to murder a SpecTRe something was wrong … terribly wrong.

In the quiet of the room, Liara's eyes still closed … She could see no way to fix this and even worse … she had put Shepard in the arms of Ismene Dantium. _Ismene Dantium!_ Of all the people to find and save Shepard! _Ismene Dantium!_

* * *

><p>Shepard was drinking her second Vesper as Dinah Pumali began to sing <em>Whatever Lola Wants<em> and as if she had waited for the song … Ismene arrived. Shepard had never seen the asari dressed so modest … for an asari. She was still provocative for the humans in her skin tight dress that was slit all the way up the right side, but Shepard had never seen her so … covered. It made Shepard smile despite her own nervousness at spending time with the asari.

_Perfect timing_, she couldn't help think as the music continued. When she had been told who found her it had made her feel slightly ashamed for all the less then generous words that she had used against the asari. Not to say that she was now going to trust her. Nope. She knew that the asari could still be a reptile when it came to pleasure. She would be on her guard but even one night of the jeepers creepers was nothing to repay the asari for saving her life.

Shepard could see that the doorman was not sure what to do with the very tall and alien Ismene making Shepard move quickly through the crowd. "Ismene," she called out as she drew closer.

"Shepard," Ismene sounded frustrated, "Could you tell this …" she looked at the doorman as if he were road kill, "human … to let me in?"

"The asari is with me," Shepard said, glad that someone else was under the hard gaze of Ismene.

"I'm ... uh, sorry," The door man looked whipped by the glare and let Ismene pass.

"Is this how humans treat their guests?" She asked Shepard.

"Don't tell me that this is the first human establishment that you've been in," Shepard said as they moved through the crowd toward the bar.

"Why would I ever feel interested in seeing a place filled with humans?" Ismene asked, looking at the way that they were dancing together and how loud the humans were. It was bad enough that there was so much talking but they were not just talking but yelling at each other. Loud music, loud people, moving about each other in bumps and starts. No. Ismene did not like it there but she would stay.

Shepard thanked her two cheesy pals for holding the two stools for her and motioned to one of the seats, "Curiosity, maybe?"

"Hmmm," Ismene looked at Shepard's legs as they both sat down.

Shepard caught the look and was reminded of why she was uncomfortable around her. Now having had an asari touch her she knew that Ismene could do things to her that ... _Noooo_, Shepard focused on the music and the crowd as she ordered drinks for the two, "I hope you don't mind drinking human tonight."

"Is that an offer, Shepard?" Ismene asked, moving closer to Shepard.

"Oh, that came out wrong," Shepard shifted away.

"Are you sure?" Ismene gave a small laugh, as the bartender placed down a drink in front of her.

"Ismene," Shepard turned in her stool to look directly at her, "I asked you here to say … thank you."

"Thank you? For what, Shepard?" Ismene asked, picking up her drink.

"For risking your own life to save mine," Shepard answered, picking up hers.

"Risk? What risk?" Ismene almost laughed, while inside she wished that they were alone. Somewhere that she could confess how that moment changed a part of her … how she would never be the same. But she also knew that even if they were alone the words would not have come.

"I was told that you knew I was poisoned as soon as you saw me," Shepard touched her hand.

"Did I?" Ismene pulled her hand away. "And that was a risk?"

"A poisoned SpecTRe?" Shepard looked at her drink. "You had to know that it was risky stepping in ... Yet you did. I can never really repay you for your courage … but if you ever need my help. Ask."

"Need your help?" Ismene had spent so many years not caring or acting as if she did not care that she found it hard to change … so instead of opening up she dipped her finger in her drink and then tasted it. "Why would I ever need a human's help?"

"Life can have strange twists," Shepard pushed her own drink away. "Hopefully you would never need me … but if one day you find that you need help ... I'll be there."

Ismene looked at the awkward activity at the bar as Shepard, facing her, realized that her words were making the asari uncomfortable. She was not used to someone seeing her in this light and … "Stop looking at me, Shepard. It is rude."

Shepard smiled at the vulnerability that the asari was trying to hide and it made her relax a little more, as well as feel slightly mischievous. "My, my … so you do have a heart. A little small and darkish in color I'm sure ... but a heart!"

"What is this called?" Ismene asked, pretending to not have heard Shepard and holding up the glass of Vesper.

"Fine," Shepard shook her head, "I'll let you pretend to not care. The drink is called Vesper. Do you like it?"

"It is interesting," Ismene answered, looking over at the dance floor. "Will you ask me to dance?"

"Dance?" Shepard did not want to be that close to Ismene and hearing Dinah Pumali croon _These Foolish Things_ made her think of Liara. "Here? With that crowd?"

Ismene looked at the dance floor and then at Shepard, "If not here … where? Your room?"

"No," Shepard smiled. "You know I'm with Liara."

"She is asari," Ismene smiled. "If you want me then … "

"I'm not like that," Shepard answered, looking over at Mr. Fedora, "I don't sleep around."

"Where is Liara?" Ismene asked, moving closer to Shepard. "She always seems to be leaving you alone ... despite the trouble you seem to get into."

"Resting," Shepard answered, not wanting to talk about her.

"Do you bring her to these types of places?" Ismene could not see a T'Soni or anyone from the Circle lowering themselves to a place like Jalouse.

Shepard thought of Liara at the restaurant and wondered what she would have thought here. The way the humans were pressed together, the drunken exchanges between them and the forward touching … "Liara? I don't think she'd be comfortable here."

"And you think I am?" Ismene seemed to almost pout.

This made Shepard laugh out loud, "I don't think there is any place or any one that could make you feel uncomfortable ... unless they come bearing nice words."

Ismene joined in the laughter and turned to face Shepard, "Nice words? When have you been nice to me?"

"Right now," Shepard answered, taking Ismene by the hand and walking out onto the dance floor as Dinah sang _I Wish You Love_. There had been a glimpse of Ismene's vulnerability and even if Shepard would have preferred to dance with Mr. Fedora … he had not saved her. The asari who was now following her to the dance floor had put her own life at risk … had been heroic when she had picked up the dying SpecTRe. Shepard now realized that Ismene was more than she appeared and if they could part friends … albeit, uncomfortable friends ... by the end of the evening … Shepard would count it a blessing.

* * *

><p>Liara had at first thought that it was Sibila standing next to her but as she opened her eyes … "Shepard?"<p>

"Good morning," Shepard said, her face emotionless.

Liara began to slowly sit up and as she groaned Shepard, wanting to help her, just watched her struggle instead.

"Sibila and Ipa stepped out to have breakfast," Shepard told her. "But they'll be back to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Liara, halfway up, stopped struggling and fell back on the pillow.

"We leave for Feros in a couple hours," Shepard answered.

"We?" Liara shook her head, "No. I am returning to the Citadel."

"As much as I wish that were true," Shepard sighed, looking away from Liara, "you are now under my authority per Counselor Tevos."

Liara looked at Shepard and wished that she would look at her, "Shepard … I did not know."

Shepard, still looking out the window, asked, "Didn't know what?"

"That it was papyr," Liara answered, reaching out to touch Shepard.

"No," Shepard moved away from her.

"Shepard," Liara tried to reach out again.

"No, Liara," Shepard shook her head. "Whatever happened between us is over."

"I understand," Liara said, wishing that she could make Shepard understand.

"Do you?" Shepard could feel her anger growing. "Do you know what it is like to be left to die by someone you trust?"

"But I did not know," Liara almost cried as she tried once again to sit up higher. "I thought that it would only keep you calm … mother said that … mother …"

"Stop!" Shepard did not want to continue talking about it or she would strangle the asari. "I don't care what you knew or didn't know … It happened. You keep too many secrets, Liara."

Liara turned away from Shepard and asked, "Then why not let me return to the Citadel?"

"I have no choice," Shepard lied. "I am to keep you on the Normandy."

"As a prisoner?" Liara asked, feeling hopeless.

Shepard finally looked deep into Liara's eyes, "You should be … but no."

"But what will the others think?" Liara asked, wishing that she was anywhere but in that room.

"No one knows what happened," Shepard told her. "But if you do one thing …" Shepard stepped closer to her, raising a finger "… one thing, T'Soni, that is out of line ... I'll personally put a bullet in your head."

"Shepard," Liara tried reaching out again.

"No, Liara," Shepard responded as she stepped away from her yet again. "I can't ... not now."

Liara saw the pain in Shepard's eyes now, the anger gone and just nodded. As Shepard left, Liara knew that she had hurt her and that it would take more than words to heal the breach between them. It would take time and action. If it could be healed at all. Shepard, after leaving the room, went inside the women's restroom and locking herself in a stall fought back tears. She wanted to believe that Liara did not know but ... "You can't trust her," she told herself. "Too many lives depend on you surviving and stopping Saren. You can't let your own emotions get in the way. You must stay focused."


	70. Nepheron & Shyno

Liara was awakened by the alarm going off in the medbay … the alarm that sounded when they had wounded incoming. "Shepard!" the name slipped out as she got up out of the bed and looked over to see that Dr. Chakwas was already out of their quarters. Liara normally did not sleep when the Commander was on a mission but it had been over forty-nine hours since she had left the Normandy. There were reports that the section was finding even more resistance on Nepheron than on previous missions and Dr. Chakwas had instructed Liara to get some rest just in case she was needed later. "I need everyone at their best," Dr. Chakwas had told all of her team in the medbay.

Neither Liara nor Shepard had given any indication of the closeness they had once shared on Quana and Shepard had also not revealed to anyone that Liara had poisoned her. Liara had been grateful for Shepard's silence but wished that she would let Liara back in … that the Commander would try and understand her. As Shepard kept Liara at arm's length, it was made easier for Liara when she was greeted by Shiala on Feros' Port ... the mystery Sharon Stone revealed to be one of her mother's acolytes. They were only together for a half an hour on the dock but it was enough time for an enlightening conversation. It was in that thirty minutes that Liara learned about the control that Saren had over her mother and that the Matriarch she had been with _was corrupted, Liara. Did Shepard not tell you?_

No, Shepard had not told her … it seemed that she was not the only one keeping secrets. But where Shepard shut her out, Liara tried to understand. She knew that the human was trying to protect her and her feeling of indignation was brief. Liara was also still finding it hard to believe that her mother was _indoctrinated_ and not in control of herself. Had Shepard had revealed what Shiala had told her she knew that she would have still trusted her mother. That trust would have been strengthened when they joined in the ΕπZρεάζYω. That union was pure and Liara had not been with anything corrupted. She had been with her mother … been in her warmth and love and protection. It would have taken that doomed flight to have told her that the Matriarch was ... was not herself. It took the lies and betrayel to show that her mother was no longer connected to her. Now all she could do was hope that in time Shepard would try and understand her. Until then, Liara focused on what she could control and accepted whatever Shepard gave her.

"Dr. Bakari, you will lead the team on the Normandy while I'm gone," Chakwas was saying as Liara appeared out of the back room.

"Yes, ma'am," Dr. Bakari said, as he began to look at one of the four wounded soldiers brought in.

Chakwas, having naturally gravitated towards the most serious of the injured soldiers, added, "I'll take a small team groundside and send you the wounded that can travel safely."

"Doctor," Nurse Meixiang Zyu called out, "I'll go with you."

"No," Chakwas answered, making notes on the soldier's chart. "Dr. Bakari will need you here … I have the medics already on the ground."

"But you will need assistance," Nurse Zyu insisted.

"I should also go groundside," Dr. Loftus said. "We'll need nurses as well for surgery. The medics should not be pulled from the field if the area is not secured."

"True," Chakwas agreed, "We'll take Nurse Hudson and Nurse Draven."

The two nurses named began to pull down kits that would be needed as Chakwas wished that she had a bigger staff. But this was it and she could not think of what she really needed but focus on what she had instead.

"Dr. Bakari," Chakwas continued, "we will focus on the critical and send the others to you and Nurse Zyu."

"We'll be ready," Dr. Bakari said, removing the field dressing off the soldier's wound.

"May I assist you groundside, Dr. Chakwas?" Liara asked, as she breathed a sigh of relief that none of the wounded brought in were Shepard.

"Yes," Dr. Chakwas said, "I'll need somebody with me that can not only assist with the wounded but also defend us if needed … Kaidan said that you are quite capable in that area."

"Of course, doctor," Liara nodded. The thought of using her biotics or a weapon again made her a little nervous, but she was willing to do anything to get closer to where Shepard was. And looking at Dr. Chakwas, she knew that she would protect her if needed … the human doctor had always been kind to her.

"Everyone now assigned to the ground be ready to fly in fifteen," Chakwas ordered as her nurses continued to gather items that would be needed in the field hospital. "The Commander needs our help … the team needs us."

* * *

><p>Shepard wanted nothing more than a good night's rest as she looked through the scope of her rifle at the area where Cerberus was huddled down. Garrus, tapping his foot against a rock to Waylon Jennings' <em>Only Daddy That'll Walk The Line<em> that was playing in his earpiece, wished the same … The two had been in this defensive position for the last twenty-six hours and had successfully kept the enemy pinned down and away from the field hospital and Cerberus facility … but they had traded sleep and warm meals for it.

Shepard shifted as she readjusted her rifle on the bipod and thought of the bell tower all those years past. This time she was not alone and as she looked over at the foot tapping turian she smiled. After each futile push by Cerberus, the two would light-heartedly argue over who had been the most accurate. Shepard saw movement to the right of the enemy and sighed, "We have more pigeons coming at us, Garrus."

"Indeed," Garrus said, looking at them through his rifle's scope. "Can you help this time?"

"I was about to ask you to try and hit at least one of them," Shepard said back as she began to focus on her breathing.

"Commander," the voice of Lt. Diouf came over her headset as she dropped a Cerberus sniper, "We have gained access to the facility."

"Send in the bomb squad first," Shepard said, focusing on the next target. "I want the team as safe as possible when they enter."

"Yes, ma'am," Diouf motioned to Corporal Orden Laflamme and his two man bomb squad to proceed with the sweep. "Once we have secured the facility we will send word."

Shepard had wanted to be with them but between her and Garrus' sniper skills they had successfully kept the outside forces at bay. This was her strength and she needed everyone where they were their strongest. With this in mind, she had placed Lt. Alenko with his squad to protect both the field hospital and the controlled environment tent that housed the prisoners, both combatant and non-combatant ... as Diouf and his squad were given the assignment of taking command of the Cerberus facility itself. As Shepard and Garrus kept the enemy pinned down, she also updated her two Lieutenants on the location and movement of the enemy.

Shepard was grateful that she had Diouf and Alenko under her command, and after three weeks of investigating and shutting down operations of Cerberus together they had developed into a well-oiled machine. This was necessary as Cerberus was a rogue cell that had been an Alliance black ops organization. The more she dug into this organization, the more she doubted that its ties were completely severed from the Alliance. This belief was strengthened as she requested information on this group from the Alliance brass and as Rear Admiral Kahoku had discovered before her, trying to get information on this group from the brass was impossible.

Shepard had contemplated moving on but after finding the lifeless body of Admiral Kahoku in Cerberus' Binthu research facility, the hunt had become even more passionate and personal for Shepard's Alliance team ... even if the actual Systems Alliance was still silent. Kaidan, a few days later, showed Shepard the Alliance's announcement of the Admiral's passing. It went so far as to cover up his murder and say he had died from _natural causes_. Shepard understood that sometimes the truth was hidden to protect the innocent, like Kahoku's wife and three children, but she knew that it went deeper than that. Looking at her Officers, she had said that it didn't matter if the Alliance appeared to be turning a blind eye to this … whoever this rogue organization was … killing an Alliance Officer had just put them on the human SpecTRe's to-do list. And with no leads on Saren, Cerberus was getting all of her attention, frustration and anger.

* * *

><p>"Has anyone spoken with the Commander?" Chakwas asked, as she entered the shuttle with her doctor's bag. "Will she be meeting us?"<p>

"The Commander was with the turian," a soldier answered. "Lt. Alenko will be meeting you."

"Oh, shit," the medic groaned. "Lt. Diouf said the Commander wanted the quarian onsite just in case she needed her expertise with the computers."

"Now you tell us?" the shuttle pilot asked frustrated as she knew that there was no time to waste.

"Did you hear that, Charlie?" Chakwas asked Pressly who had just arrived to see them off.

"I'll contact Adams," Pressly answered, moving towards the comm. station.

Chakwas took a seat next to Liara who appeared calm and unaffected by it all ... For the past three weeks, Liara had helped out in the medbay and Chakwas admired Liara's strength and ability to keep calm when everyone else appeared frantic. Dr. Chakwas did not know if it was because Liara was asari or just her personality … or maybe a combination? As a T'Soni and a member of the Corallium Circle, Liara was raised to keep her emotions in check whenever she was in public. But appearances could be deceiving and as Liara sat calmly next to Chakwas, she was on edge inside. She was worried that something might have happened to Shepard and couldn't believe the medic's incompetence that was now delaying them. This would have surprised everyone around her if they had been told what she was feeling and thinking.

The asari's focus this past month on the Normandy had been helping out in the medbay, studying data and historical pieces of the Prothean and even learning the basics of flying shuttles. She would sometimes sit on the bridge when Joker was on duty and he would show her how to read the instruments and explain how a shuttle was easier than the Normandy. He also had a flight simulation program that he downloaded for her to use. She had no plans on ever killing everybody aboard a shuttle again but she did not believe in dying out of ignorance either.

Liara had kept her days busy not only because it was part of her nature but also because seeing Shepard every day and not being able to really talk to her was not easy. There were moments that she thought that Shepard had softened but then the Commander would shut down when they were close to each other. If it appeared that there was a chance that the two would be alone, Shepard would leave or call someone over. Liara did not like how Shepard kept a wall between them but she would prefer being ignored over days like this. Combat days were the days that Liara hated the most. The days when the Commander was at risk of injury or … no, she would not even think of the word.

To date, the Commander had only returned from the various missions with burns, muscle strains, bruises, cuts and once a bullet graze to her hand ... But nothing serious. This combat day was turning out very different from the others. For the first time, the medic shuttle had returned to carry Dr. Chakwas and members of her team back to a field hospital where Shepard was fighting. For once, the three medics had not been enough … and it made Liara fear the worst.

* * *

><p>The power to the main lobby had been cut and the team had to rely on their flashlights, "Move carefully," Lt. Diouf said softly as his squad entered the darkened room.<p>

"Stay within this area of the entrance," the EOD Specialist instructed. "We located three traps but there may be more on the other side of the lobby … We'll clear it once we get the lights on."

"_I don't like this_," Diouf whispered to himself in French as he moved his flashlight across the lobby's seating area. As he swung his flashlight to look at the other side of the room he heard a click and was blown back as one of his men tripped a booby trap just six feet away from him.

"No one move!" the EOD Specialist ordered.

"Williams!" Diouf called out as he saw Ashley slowly crawling to Pvt. Abishek Pakti.

"Shek," Ashley called out, her helmet cracked by debris from the blast. She had been closest to the soldier and as the EOD Specialist flashed his light around the area looking for additional traps, Ashley removed the dying soldier's helmet and began cradling his head in her lap. "It's okay, Shek."

"Promise?" he asked, tears running down the side of his face as he looked up at her.

"Yeah," Ashley choked back then removed her own damaged helmet and looked over at Diouf who was slowly standing up.

As Diouf moved his flashlight's beam down the soldier's body, he saw that his legs were gone and his lower body mangled and unrecognizable. "Coen," Diouf called out to the medic with them, "Assist the Chief."

"Yes, sir," he answered, moving towards the wounded soldier.

"Hunter," Corporal Laflamme called out to his EOD Specialist, "I want the power back on in here and the area secured … I don't want anyone else hurt."

The medic began to give the dying soldier morphine as Diouf looked at Chief Williams, "Ash …"

"I know," Ashley whispered, rubbing the soldier's left hand.

"Ashley," the soldier cried, "Please don't let me die! My mother would never survive if … if … please … please don't let me die!"

"We won't" Ashley soothed, knowing that her words were false. "Just rest, Shek. Everything will be fine … you will be back in Ajmer with your mataji soon."

As the morphine began to take effect, the soldier began to recite a Hindu prayer as Ashley stroked his forehead, "We worship the three-eyed One who is fragrant and who nourishes well all beings; may He liberate us from death for the sake of immortality even as the cucumber is severed from its bondage."

* * *

><p>"Goddess," Liara whispered as the hill that Cerberus had been fighting from drew closer. Nepheron was a barren, volcanic world that required full suits and helmets outside and as the shuttle passed over the area with bodies scattered about … she prayed that none of them were Shepard.<p>

"Prost," Tali swore loudly, "There are at least two dozen bodies down there."

"Be prepared to move quickly when we land," the pilot said to the passengers. "Situation is hot … Cerberus is to the east of us so I'll land as close to the hospital as possible."

As if on cue, the passengers heard two pings against the shuttle, "We are taking fire!" Tali cried out.

As the shuttle began to land within the field hospital area, Shepard and Garrus increased their efforts to keep the enemy off of them. As the personnel jumped out of the shuttle, Shepard was too focused on the enemy to see Liara using her biotics to give protection to the team as they ran into the hospital.

Kaidan, seeing them land, raced out of the hospital and put up a barrier as well. He was glad to see Dr. T'Soni with them and knew that with her there the medical team was that much safer and that he had another biotic on the ground with him. But before anyone could say hello, Dr. Chakwas and Dr. Loftus went straight to identifying which soldiers were too critical to be moved and who should be evacuated to the Normandy. Liara smiled at Kaidan before she started setting up the operation stations with Nurse Draven and Nurse Hudson.

"Lieutenant, how is the Commander?" Chakwas inquired as she waved a soldier towards the operation room.

"Working hard to keep Cerberus off of us," Kaidan answered.

* * *

><p>Diouf's team had pushed farther into the facility, careful to locate and disarm the traps along the way. Once they had secured the main offices and placed the employees and security that had surrendered in a confined area, they restored power throughout the facility.<p>

"Why can't we just blow up the base?" Corporal Orden Laflamme asked, thinking of the death of Pvt Pakti.

Ashley pointed over at a group of Cerberus employees who were sitting on the floor, hands on their head, scared and obviously not soldiers. "Because of them," Ashley said.

"Corporal," Lt. Diouf added, "as the Commander said, there is no honor in needlessly killing janitors and receptionists because it's easier."

"No, there isn't," Shepard said, appearing without warning. "And here I thought you never listened to me."

"I thought you were with the turian," Diouf said.

"Was," Shepard said, "Cerberus appears to have pulled out … I left Garrus to monitor the area. He'll tell me if they return and until then I'd like to see what secrets this place holds."

"The labs are this way," Diouf said.

"Where is Pvt. Pakti?" Shepard asked.

"He didn't make it," Diouf answered.

Shepard shook her head, knowing that soldiers die, but thinking about his family and what this would mean to them. He was not a soldier to them but their son, their brother, their friend. "Let's move."

* * *

><p>Chakwas removed her surgical mask as she exited the operation room. It had been almost three hours since the medical team had landed and there had been sixteen deaths inside the field hospital with two of them being Alliance soldiers … Pvt Harvey J. Gladstone and Pvt. Carlton Tucks. This was not a good day and as Chakwas poured herself a cup of coffee she looked out at Wrex who was getting out of the Mako after patrolling the area with the Mako squad.<p>

"Did the shuttle get off okay?" Dr. Chakwas asked Kaidan of the medic shuttle's third transport trip.

"Yes," he answered, pouring himself a glass of water. "They should be there by now and returning soon."

"Good," Chakwas sighed as she looked at Liara who was changing out an IV bag. "Is it true that one of the Cerberus agents threatened Dr. T'Soni?"

"Yeah," Kaidan answered. "He threatened to kill her if she touched him again ... we have a guard watching him closely."

"Who?" Chakwas did not like to think that Liara had been threatened.

"Steve Wilson," Kaidan pointed over to a male that had half his face bandaged. "He says that he is a physician and that we have no right here."

Chakwas took a sip of the hot coffee and shook her head, "How did Liara take it?"

"Liara didn't seem to be offended," Kaidan answered, "She looked at him with a certain amount of … pity."

"Hmm," Chakwas smiled, "Good. Kaidan, make sure that no one moves him but Wrex."

"Doctor?" Kaidan looked at Chakwas surprised.

"You heard me," Chakwas said, finishing her coffee and returning to the operation room.

* * *

><p>"I told you not to touch it," Diouf said, looking at the blank screen.<p>

Shepard had tried to retrieve the data from an optical database. Just as she began to touch a few buttons it alarmed as it also began to wipe its own memory. Shepard rushed to download what she could to her hard suit's internal computer but the majority was lost. Shepard shrugged, "I know. I shouldn't have touched the damn thing … Let's hope that Mechanic Joe can figure out how to undo what I just did."

Ashley had been sent to retrieve the quarian as Shepard, Diouf and Pvt. Tanaka waited in the lab. The rest of the team had been assigned to other areas and as Tanaka played with a Newton's Cradles located on a desk near the door, Diouf and Shepard stood in front of the screen. As the clacking of the balls sounded through the lab, Shepard thought she had sensed movement and now in her peripheral she had seen a slight reflection of light. Without thinking or knowing why, Shepard leaned back just as a hooded woman appeared out of thin air. It was then that Shepard felt wind against her face as the assassin's blade, a shinobigatana, cut past her face.

Shepard grabbed the assassin by her jacket, stepped back as she brought her chisel fist to her side and then drove her fist in the attacker's throat. As the assassin's head fell forward, Shepard pulled out her knife and shoved it into her throat just as she felt pressure against her right shoulder. Another hooded woman was now behind her and Shepard used her right leg to kick her back into a table. Pvt. Tanaka raced toward the assassin as Diouf went for his pistol … The assassin in one motion severed Tanaka's head from his body and then turned it back on Shepard who had moved in close enough to grab her by the mouth and the back of the head and in one violent twist silenced her.

"Motherfu…" Diouf started to shout as the assassin's lifeless body fell forward against Shepard and Pvt. Tanaka's head came to a stop in front of him. It had happened so fast.

"You bitch!" Shepard growled, as she pushed the assassin away from her and the body fell against the table and then on to the floor.

"Ray," Diouf choked out as he looked at the headless body of the Pvt.

Shepard bent down at the body of the assassin who first attacked her and pulled off her mask. Diouf looked over at the Commander bending down and saw blood dripping from her right side, "Commander!"

"What?" Shepard asked as she began to stand up.

"You're bleeding," he said as Shepard turned around. It was then that they both realized that the second intruder had plunged a shinobigatana down into her right shoulder and Shepard remembered the pressure before she had kicked the assassin away from her.

"Putain de merde!" Shepard yelled. "Why does everyone want to leave their mark in my right shoulder?"

"Medic!" Diouf called into his mic as Shepard leaned against the table and began to remove her armor. "We need a medic in the lab ... stat!"

"They were like ghosts," Shepard said, as Diouf found a clean cloth and handed it to Shepard who began to press it against the wound. "If I hadn't seen the blade … they would have done to me what they did to Pvt. Tanaka."

"I'm sorry, Commander," Diouf said, looking over at the second one. "She had to have moved past me to get to you and yet I never saw her. I should have seen her."

"Shyno," Corporal Laflamme said, entering the room and squatting down and pulling off her gloves. "Why is Cerberus using them?"

"Commander," Diouf almost yelled like a little girl. "That's your face!"

"What?" Shepard looked down and saw her face on the right hand of her attacker.

"Who does that?" Diouf was starting to look around, worried that there might be more.

"Shyno," Laflamme answered. "I met one once while stationed in Osaka … they put the face of a person whose death by their hand will give them honor with their Shyno ancestors."

"Lovely," Shepard grumbled as she continued to apply pressure.

"Shepard," Laflamme said, "this is also an honor for you to have a Shyno do that. It means that she believed that you were a worthy adversary."

"Why don't I feel honored?" Shepard shook her head, her injury starting to throb.

"Commander," Ashley started as she entered with Tali, "We are … oh, god! What happened?"

* * *

><p>"So you can't retrieve what was on it?" Shepard sounded angry as she watched Tali move away from the computer. As soon as the quarian entered, Shepard had put her to work on the computer and told Ashley that it was just a flesh wound ... <em>nothing serious<em>.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Tali answered, "But whoever set this program up knew what they were doing. They …" _blah, tech, blah, tech_ … or at least that was what Shepard was hearing as she looked at the blank screen.

"Someone called for a medic?" Liara asked, keeping her voice calm.

"Dr. T'Soni?" Corporal Laflamme smiled at the asari, "Yes … the Commander was stabbed."

"What?" Shepard turned to see Liara walking in with a medical bag.

"Dr. Chakwas requested that I come in response to Lt. Diouf's request," she answered, as she moved towards Shepard. "The other medics are working in the hospital now."

"And she sent you?" Ashley asked, looking at Liara and then Shepard.

"I think if she had known it was you," Liara responded, "she would have come herself, Commander."

"Well, I'm fine," Shepard said, "Tell the doctor that you are needed elsewhere."

"You might want to rethink that, Commander," Tali said, as she pointed to the drenched cloth against Shepard shoulder.

"What?" Shepard looked down at the cloth and shook her head, "It's nothing."

"Dr. T'Soni isn't a real doctor," Ashley added. "The Commander needs a real medical doctor."

Liara ignored both Shepard and Ashley as she went to the Commander and pulled back her hand to look at the wound.

"Dr. T'Soni!" Shepard pulled away, "I'm fine."

"Commander," Liara said, refusing to be sent away. "You are injured."

Shepard could see the determination in the asari's eyes and it said that she was not going to go away … "Fine! But make it quick."

"Yes, Commander," Liara said as she carefully pulled away the cloth to see the wound.

Shepard caught the familiar scent of cinnamon and it hurt more than the stab injury. Being this close to Liara and having the asari touch her was almost too much and she wanted to tell Liara to get away. But there were others in the room and Shepard had worked hard on not letting them see how much she _hated_ the asari … okay, not hated. _Hurt_. How much the asari had hurt her. So as Liara touched her and pressed close against her, Shepard focused on Tali … "Can you take a look at what I saved?"

"Sure," Tali said, moving to Shepard and downloading the data into her own omni-tool. "It's encrypted but …"

"Does this hurt?" Liara asked, as she started to carefully use scissors to cut away Shepard's undershirt from the wounded area.

Shepard shook her head no as she kept her focus on Tali and asked about the encrypted data, "Can you break it?"

"I'll need time," Tali answered, sitting down as she began to punch away at her omni-tool.

Shepard looked over at her Corporal and could see that he was checking out Liara as she moved back to her bag. He was looking at her body, looking at her ass and Shepard didn't like it. "Corporal," she said with a tinge of anger in her voice, "Report to Lt. Alenko ... Now!"

"Yes, ma'am," he saluted before he quickly left.

"Commander?" Liara had caught the anger in Shepard's voice and was worried that she had done something to upset her.

"Nothing," Shepard said, "Let's get this over with, doctor."

Liara put on a pair of gloves and then began to pull out items to tend to the wound, "I'll need to stop the bleeding first."

"Diouf," Shepard shifted on the table as Liara began to apply pressure to her shoulder with a clean dressing, "make sure that all of our crew is accounted for and then I want to know how many we lost … and who."

"Yes, ma'am," Diouf said, "what are we going to do with the prisoners?"

"Hopefully the Alliance sends a ship to pick them …" Shepard stopped.

"Shepard?" Liara looked at the Commander who had started to go pale and as Liara went to lift her chin … Shepard passed out. "Chief Williams!"

As Liara and Ashley carefully placed the unconscious Shepard on to the table, Tali began to work on the encrypted message.

* * *

><p>"Nice to have you back," Dr. Chakwas said as Shepard began to slowly sit up.<p>

"How long was I out?" Shepard asked as she looked at her bandaged shoulder.

"Just long enough to get you repaired," Chakwas answered.

"Thanks!" Shepard said, slowly getting off the table.

"Thank Dr. T'Soni," Chakwas said. "She tended to your injury … I just came here because she asked me to check her work."

Shepard looked around and saw that the bodies were gone along with Tali and Liara.

"Well, tell her I said thanks," Shepard said.

"I will," Chakwas answered and then left the lab.

Shepard was about to ask if Tali had any success with the data when she heard the camera in the corner move.

"Commander Shepard," a strange woman's voice called out as the camera focused on her.

Shepard looked at both Ashley and Diouf to see if they heard it, "Did you …"

"I would like to talk to you," the voice said.

"Where are you?" Shepard asked as she looked around.

"It does not matter," the voice said. "What matters is that you refocus on what is important."

"And what would that be?" Shepard heard a lens focus and looked at the camera in the corner.

"The real threat to humanity," the voice answered as the camera began to follow Shepard around.

"Who are you?" Shepard asked, looking at the camera.

"That is also unimportant, Commander," she said.

"Call me old-fashioned," Shepard said, "But I like to know who I am talking to."

"If you must have a name," she sounded bored, "Ms. Solheim."

"Solheim?" Shepard asked, as she found a chair and sat down.

"Commander," the voice said, "we both know that Cerberus is not the real enemy."

"No, we don't," Shepard answered. "And Admiral Kahoku would also disagree if he were here … alive."

"He gave us no other option," the voice said. "He was risking the safety of humanity for his own misguided reasons. You have had to make decisions that resulted in the innocent being silenced as well ... we looked at your service records ... Elysium to start."

"Why don't we meet on the Citadel and discuss this further," Shepard smiled at the camera.

"No, Commander," the voice answered. "But to show you that we are on your side … an olive branch."

"On my side?" Shepard cocked a brow. "You try and kill everyone who is on your side?"

"The troops were pulled once we realized that it was you," the voice responded.

"Or beheaded," Shepard added. "I suppose that …"

"The shyno were sent by someone else," the voice cut in. "I have already assigned a team to find out whom, Commander."

"And will you share this information?" Shepard asked.

"We will take care of it," the voice answered. "You must stay focused on the real threat."

"So this olive branch?" Shepard asked.

"Noveria," the voice responded.

"What about Noveria?" Shepard sat up.

"Go to Noveria," the voice said and then the camera shut down and lowered its lens toward the floor.


	71. Noveria

Noveria was located in the Pax System of the Horse Head Nebula and as they set their course towards it, Shepard's alien crew was a little wary. Noveria was not only an inhospitable cold planet with its unforgiving ice terrain but also a place that was a privately-chartered colony world and owned by the Noveria Development Corporation holding company. The NDC itself was funded by investment capital from two dozen firms and the planet's policies and laws were administered by an Executive Board representing their interests. Each of these firms built remote hot labs in isolated locations across the planet's surface where they were involved in research too dangerous or controversial to be performed elsewhere ... With Noveria's employment terms of complete silence by all of its employees, from scientist to janitor, it was also a place of many conspiracy theories.

Tali had shared with Shepard that her people had worked with the NDC in the past and that they _pay well, and they don't ask any questions. _When Shepard asked what type of things her people worked on … Tali quickly changed the subject and then crawled up into a hard to reach place to do _some corrections, Commander_.

Shepard also was informed by Garrus that Noveria was not part of the Citadel Council space and therefore exempt from Council law. Shepard quickly pulled up the SpecTRe database (SDB) and confirmed that what he had said was accurate. But it also showed that the NDC had granted extraterritorial privileges to the Council's agents. She hoped that they honored this when she arrived unannounced.

"Joker," Shepard called over the comm. from her quarters, "make sure to use my status as a SpecTRe if needed."

"Should we expect trouble?" Joker asked.

Shepard, towel drying her hair, laughed, "When don't we expect trouble, Joker?"

"Uh, good point, Commander," Joker said.

"What's the ETA?" Shepard asked.

"Three hours and twenty," Joker responded. "We will be requesting permission to land within the hour."

"Good," Shepard answered, looking at Liara's sketch still sitting on her desk as _Rendez-Vous a Paris_ pulsed from her iMuse. "Let me know if you receive any push back from Noveria."

"Aye, aye, Commander," Joker answered.

"Expecting trouble, Commander?" Ashley asked in the open doorway of Shepard's quarters.

"Me?" Shepard grinned, throwing the towel on her bed and waving Ashley in, "Shut the door behind you, Chief."

"I heard that the krogan and turian left yesterday as we passed through the Exodus Cluster," Ashley said, taking a seat at the table in the front section of Shepard's quarters.

"They are both coming through a front door," Shepard nodded, sitting down from across her. "Wrex has done freelance work there before and Garrus has a contact there … so we thought it might work in our favor if they appeared separate from us."

"What kind of work could a krogan do on Noveria," Ashley asked, raising a brow.

"As Wrex said," Shepard said, mimicking the krogan, "Fastest way to climb the corporate ladder is to eliminate the guy above."

Ashley laughed at Shepard's poor imitation of the battlemaster's deep voice, "That was horrible!"

"Hey," Shepard laughed, "I tried … what do you expect? I don't have enough balls."

"Enough?" Ashley looked around the table at Shepard's lower half, "Do you have any?"

"Plenty!" Shepard answered, "Just ask any of the crew."

"You have them all fooled," Ashley smiled.

"But not you?" Shepard asked, looking into her Gunnery Chief's dark eyes.

"No, ma'am," Ashley smiled back. "You are all woman … dangerous and lethal … but still a woman."

"The same could be said of you," Shepard smiled. "Dress us up in feminine attire and who would suspect what we can do on a battlefield?"

"Where is this going?" Ashley cocked her head, knowing that Shepard was leading her somewhere.

"Noveria," Shepard smiled. "I don't know what we are looking for there … but I do know that even with my status as a SpecTRe, our presence will be precarious at best."

Ashley shifted in her seat, "So you want to appear …"

"Harmless," Shepard smiled in her sweetest Sunday best.

"You?" Ashley laughed.

"And you," Shepard joined in. "You and I are going to dress casually and go ashore to gather intel."

"And if people around us don't know who you are," Ashley was beginning to understand, "the more likely they are to talk to us."

"And here Kaidan said you were slow," Shepard teased as she stood up. "Once we are pass the customs area … we look for the nearest bar."

"Should I wear my tin**-**foil mini-skirt and thigh-high boots?" Ashley asked as she stood up as well.

"Why Chief," Shepard pretended to look shocked, "You have clothes without camouflage design?"

"You bet your sweet ass," Ashley said, heading for the door. "I can make you look like a wall flower … uh, Commander."

"Bring it on, Chief," Shepard challenged as she walked her to the door. "May the best man win."

"You mean best woman," Ashley corrected. "And I will."

"Just dress to appear harmless," Shepard added. "I want us to appear harmless … not seductive."

"Afraid I would win?" Ashley asked.

"Next shore leave," Shepard smiled, picking up a datapad. "Game on."

* * *

><p>"Have we reached out to the Noveria Approach Control?" Kaidan asked, taking his seat on the bridge.<p>

"Not yet," Engineer Helen Lowe answered, shifting her headset as CCR pumped out _Green River_.

Joker, his head bouncing to the beat as his hands brought up the comm. station, "What's the rush?"

"No rush," Kaidan answered, putting a stick of gum in his mouth.

"Did you bring enough for the classroom?" Helen asked, extending out her hand.

Kaidan gave a small smile and got back up to give her a stick, "I hope you like spearmint."

"What?" Joker shook his head, "Not bubble gum flavored? Rube!"

"Nice," Helen glared at Joker as Kaidan sat back down.

Joker ignored her as he turned off the music and reached out to the planet that was still visually just a tiny spot, "Approach Control, this is the SSV Normandy ... Requesting a vector and a berth."

"Normandy," the NAC responded, "your arrival was not scheduled. Our defense grid is armed and tracking you ... State your business."

Joker looked over at Kaidan as he followed the Commander's instructions and answered, "Citadel business ... We've got a Council SpecTRe aboard."

"Landing access granted, Normandy," NAC responded. "Be advised … we will be confirming identification on arrival. If confirmation cannot be established, your vessel will be impounded.

"What a fun bunch," Joker shook his head, cranking up _Common Disaster_ by Reticulating Splines as Helen blew a bubble. "I think I'll take my next leave here."

* * *

><p>"Where did you get those boots?" Ashley asked as the Commander appeared on the CIC in a Hermés wool pant suit with leather boots and gloves in anticipation of the cold.<p>

"Anne Klein store back on Quana, "Shepard said, pulling up her pant leg, "The rest is Hermés … Where did you get that shirt?"

"This?" Ashley was wearing a black open shirt over designer jeans and boots and both women were carrying dark overcoats.

As the two women began to talk fashion, Pressly couldn't help but smile as one of his engineers whispered to another, "These two could blow your head off and not bat an eye … and here they are talking about designers? I would never have imagined this … they sound like …"

"Women?" Lt. Caroline Grenado asked as she passed by them.

"Commander," Pressly interrupted the two, "Are you sure that you two should go out there alone?"

"We'll be okay," Shepard smiled at her XO. "Until we know why we were sent here … I would prefer that we try and not create waves … at least not yet."

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly said. "But if you need help …"

"I know," Shepard patted him on the shoulder as she turned to Grenado, "Caroline, tell Diouf that I want him and four of his men to stand guard just outside the Normandy once we are inside."

"Are you not carrying any protection?" Grenado asked.

Both Shepard and Ashley produced their pistols … "Oh, and this," Shepard pulled out her knife.

"That's cheating," Ashley looked at Shepard with a frown.

As they stepped off the Normandy and both put on their heavy overcoats, Shepard gave a silent thanks to Wrex. He had told her before he left that Noveria was always in the middle of a blizzard and to dress warm _... Okay, daddy_, she had teased him, which had made him growl and storm off.

* * *

><p>Inamorda had been waiting in the Caelstis 5 hotel's bar for Wrex who was currently passing through customs and he was not happy. Inamorda did not like working with others and hoped that this krogan understood who was in control … Inamorda. He had been on Noveria for over a week in preparation of the arrival of the Vice-President Alicia Nordine who worked at the Arc branch of the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB. The VP position over R&amp;D had become open on Noveria and she had been placed in that position, much to the anger of another colleague.<p>

Having a colleague on Noveria covet your position was never a good thing … as Wrex had said to Shepard, "Fastest way to climb the corporate ladder is to eliminate the guy above." The Director of R&D was not about to be stopped on the ladder by some Arc bitch. So he had reached out and offered a year's pay to Ruha for her untimely death. Noverian pay was equal to ten years of a CEO's pay on Earth so Ruha sent Inamorda to make that happen and he even had the approval to include the two Directors that she had brought if needed. The three were scheduled to attend a weeks' worth of meetings and were staying at the Caelstis 5 Hotel in the Port Hanshan vicinity of Noveria.

As Wrex entered into the Caelstis 5 hotel, Garrus walked past him and it caused Wrex to give a low growl. If Garrus had not been under Shepard's protection, Wrex may have shown the turian why you did not cut him off. Garrus heard the growl and after apologizing, quickened his steps to put distance between him and the battlemaster. He had no desire to give the krogan an excuse to make an example of him.

Wrex gave another growl as he heard the turian call out to his friends at the check-in counter, "Lilihierax and Hansina!"

"TalJok!" Wrex growled and then focused his attention on his contact. He had reached out to the one person that could get him back on to Noveria and Ruha had cut him in on the contract that would be quick. He planned on completing the contract within the first 24 hours so that he could focus on why Shepard was pointed to this cold and manipulating world of Noveria.

Garrus had an old military buddy who had moved to Noveria … Liliheirax. He was employed as a shuttle mechanic and Garrus knew that he could use his inside knowledge to get the layout of the place and maybe even find out what Noveria and Saren had in common. But Garrus also worried that there was nothing here or that it was a setup. He did not like taking direction from unknown sources, especially sources that belonged to a group that you were fighting. He had told the Commander to be careful and that if she needed him he could be there within minutes.

* * *

><p>"What a bitch!" Ashley said over the Kolo Yugo remake of <em>You Should Be Dancing<em> playing on the Port Hanshan mezzanine speakers.

"Simmer down, Ash," Shepard smiled at her as they claimed a table next to the bar. "We are inside with our weapons."

"She's lucky that your status as a SpecTRe was confirmed," Ashley continued as she put her coat over her chair. "I would have …"

"Yes, yes," Shepard laughed, placing her coat on the empty chair next to her. "Go get us drinks, angry girl."

"And the Administrator!" Ashley went on. "Smug salarian needs a smack across the face! Treating you like that."

"Ash!" Shepard laughed even harder as she stood up and grabbed her Chief by the shoulders, "I've been treated worse … calm down. Take a seat and I will get us drinks."

"Sorry, Commander," Ashley said, "I just don't like seeing you treated like that. All that you have been through and what you are expected to do … then to see these pieces of shi-"

"Ash!" Shepard squeezed her shoulders, "I appreciate your passion … but let's focus on the real mission at hand. Why are we here? So calm down and listen to the other customers ... gossip may reveal some secrets."

"Right," Ashley began to calm down. "Just promise me that before we leave I can give a piece of my mind to that blond bit-"

"Fine," Shepard cut her off as she started moving towards the bar.

As Shepard ordered two martinis she felt someone press against her, "Excuse me."

"That's okay," Shepard answered, turning to see an asari in a yellow dress.

"Did the Council send you to look into Binary Helix?" the asari asked as she sipped on her drink.

"The Council?" Shepard asked. "Do you know who I am?"

"Everyone here knows who you are, dull stone," the asari said, matter-of-factly.

Shepard looked over at Ashley, glad that she was out of hearing range, "What is it with this place and rudeness?"

"Are you sensitive?" the asari asked, placing her drink down on the bar.

"Not really," Shepard answered, "I just prefer to be in a more polite company."

"Then excuse me," the asari said, "I am Mallene Callis and I represent the Armali City Council on Thessia."

"Armali?" Shepard couldn't help but think of Liara. "Why are you here?"

"My city is known for its biotic amp crafters and I was sent here through the ACC to investigate Binary Helix," Mallene answered.

"What is the ACC's interest in Binary Helix?" Shepard heard a very familiar voice behind her ask. "Binary Helix does not manufacture amps?"

"No," Mallene's attention turned towards Liara who was there with Kaidan. "But as you must know, much of BH's work relates to biotics."

"Binary Helix is a leader in the fields of genetic engineering and biotechnology," Liara said, moving past Shepard and closer to Mallene. "But as I said, they do not manufacture amps … so why are you here investigating them?"

"There was a rumor that funds were being sent here by a powerful and influential Matriarch," Mallene answered. "This concerned the ACC and they wanted me to assess any potential risk to asari copyrights."

Liara, placing her hand on Shepard's arm and pulling her behind her, shook her head, "The ACC would have just contacted the Matriarch and inquired why the increase in funds. Who really sent you?"

"Shepard?" Kaidan said behind her, worried at the change in Liara.

"Shh," Shepard quieted him as she watched Liara question the asari. Mallene bowed her head just slightly as Liara began to speak to her in the Armali tongue and Shepard could tell that Dr. T'Soni was somehow gaining control of the situation between the two. What Shepard did not know was that Liara was using her position within the Circle and as an Armali citizen to gain the asari's respect and trust.

As the two asari finished their talk, Liara still holding Shepard by the forearm, Mallene looked at Shepard, "Please forgive my previous slight, Commander."

"That's okay," Shepard answered, feeling Liara give her forearm a slight squeeze.

"Dr. T'Soni," Mallene said, as she gave a small bow of the head. "May your touch cause only pleasure and enlightened pain."

"Enlightened what?" Kaidan asked, as the asari turned away and left them.

"What are you two doing here?" Ashley asked as Shepard softly pulled her arm away from Liara.

"Dr. Chakwas thought that given the Commander's injury she might need Dr. T'Soni near," Kaidan answered, as Liara looked at Shepard.

Shepard stepped closer to Liara, "What did she say, doctor?"

"She was sent here by Councilor Tevos," Liara answered, her stomach in knots at being so close to Shepard. "They learned that mother … the Matriarch ... was funding Binary Helix in a research project."

"What kind of project?" Shepard asked, trying to ignore the way that Liara's scent made her stomach heat up.

"She tried to find out what the project was but failed," Liara answered, "Binary Helix is a wall of secrecy on what happens behind its doors. But these past few days there has been talk of asari biotics coming through the port and being flown into the Noveria branch."

Shepard looked at Ashley, "It looks like we go to Binary Helix."

"Does this mean that we have to return to that nasty administrator?" Ashley asked, taking their drinks from the bartender.

"Unfortunately," Shepard frowned as she looked at Kaidan. "You and Dr. T'Soni can return to the Normandy. If I need you or medical help … I'll call."

"Commander," Liara said, "The asari biotics that were sent here are rumored to be commandos. You will need biotic support."

"How many?" Shepard asked her, understanding that asari commando were in the same league as krogan battlemasters. She did not want to have to battle a group of Wrex warriors.

"She did not know," Liara answered; worried that Shepard would underestimate what her kind could do. "But just one …"

"Kaidan, take the doctor back to the Normandy," Shepard cut her off. "Then return with Diouf."

"Commander," Liara grabbed Shepard by the arm.

"No," Shepard pulled away, "If I decide to fight with coffee you might come in handy …"

"No, Shepard," Liara moved away from her, understanding that what she had done still hurt the Commander but also refusing to be debased by her.

"Coffee?" Kaidan looked at Ashley confused, as Shepard seeing Liara walk away from her, realized that she was being cruel.

"Excuse me," Shepard said to the two as she went to Liara.

"Please, Commander," Liara said as Shepard stood next to her. "I will return to the Normandy, but promise that you will not be fooled by these civilized surroundings. This is a place of secrets and lies ... and do not underestimate what an asari commando can do."

Shepard could not tell if Liara had been upset, angry, hurt, or sad by her previous comment. The asari had put up her own wall to hide her emotions and Shepard did not know what she should do. A part of her wanted to apologize for her comment but another part of her wanted to continue to hurt the asari and this internal conflict was tearing her up … Just as she was about to apologize she was stopped by someone calling her name.

"Shepard?" Liam Serafino called out again as he approached with a surprised look on his face.

"Liam?" Shepard moved away from Liara and hugged him around the neck, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same," he said as he went to kiss her.

Liara watched as the human male kissed Shepard and she could not sense the touch arousing the Commander. She looked at Shepard's body and determined that this human's touch did not have the same effect on her Elizabeth and any jealousy she might have felt was gone. No, she could see that this person was no real threat by how Shepard had responded.

As Shepard pulled away from Liam, she looked over at Liara who seemed unfazed by the kiss and a part of her felt anger at that. _You never really cared_, Shepard thought as she misunderstood Liara's calm and almost serene outer appearance. Her anger grew as she introduced Liam to Kaidan and Ashley. When she introduced him to Liara and he put his hand out to shake her hand, Liara looked at his hand without extending hers … "Asari don't shake hands, Liam," Shepard said, putting her hand over his and smiling at Liara, "Isn't that right, Dr. T'Soni?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, looking at Liara who stood as tall as him at 6'2".

"So why are you here?" Shepard pulled him to face her.

"My soon-to-be former boss was promoted to head the Noveria division of R&D," he answered. "She brought both Phil from accounting and me to look at her new department's sheets."

"Are you transferring here?" Shepard asked.

"No," he shook his head, looking over at Kaidan. "I'm only here for this week … we head to the facility in the morning for a full day of meetings."

"I thought that no one was leaving Port Hashan," Ashley said.

"The blizzard," he nodded, and then looked at Shepard. "Alicia refuses to let the storm stop her … she reminds me of you. Stubborn."

"Alicia, huh?" Shepard raised a brow, "What else about her reminds you of me?"

"Commander," Kaidan stepped in, "Dr. T'Soni and I will return to the Normandy. It was nice to meet you, Liam."

"No," Shepard looked at Liara as she took Liam's hand, "you two stay with Ashley until I get back."

"Where are you going?" Ashley asked, handing Shepard's untouched drink to Kaidan.

Shepard, still looking at Liara, answered, "Somewhere private."

As Shepard and Liam walked up the stairs to the upper level that led to the hotel's lobby, Liara ordered an elasa as Ashley rubbed Kaidan's back, "Sorry, LT."

* * *

><p>"So tell me about this Alicia," Shepard teased as they entered his hotel room.<p>

"I don't want to talk about her," he said as he pulled Shepard close.

"Then let's not talk," She said as he began to kiss her.

As they began to undress each other while kissing, she couldn't help but think of Liara's kiss and then her mind went to lying on the elevator floor. _She never really cared_, Shepard thought as she began to pull off his shirt … _It was all lies_.

"Shepard," he stopped as he saw her right shoulder bandaged up and her new scars and bruises. "What happened?"

"Nothing," she answered, pulling at his slacks.

"Wait!" he pulled away from her and saw the damage left by the krogan on Feros.

"It's nothing, Liam," Shepard said, pushing him to the couch.

"Who did this?" he almost cried as he looked at her leg. "Or what did this?"

Shepard did not want to talk about her injuries and as she looked down at him, she also realized that she did not want him … she wanted him to be _her_ … "Damn you," she cursed at Liara as she moved away from Liam.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she moved to the mini bar and he stood up from the couch. "Shepard?"

"Do you have any whiskey?" she asked as she looked through the mini bottles.

"Shepard," he pulled her up by her shoulders. "What is it?"

She looked into his eyes and then looked away, "Can we have some music?"

Liam watched as Shepard flipped on the hotel's station and the asari singer, Aspasia, sang _Underwater_. Shepard looked at her human lover as the asari sang of wanting nothing more than to touch her lover … _Find me, touch me, kiss me, I am underwater_. "Liam."

"Who is it?" he asked, "Is it that dark haired guy downstairs? That Lt. Alenko? I knew he was your type."

"No," Shepard looked away. "It's not him … it's … it's no one."

"What is it then?" he asked, moving closer to her.

"I don't know," Shepard answered, "Can't we just …"

"Fuck?" he angrily cut in. "Is that all you really want from me, Shepard?"

_I want to use you to hurt her_, Shepard thought but said, "I told you to find someone else, Liam. That I would only hurt you in the end."

"You did," he sighed, going to the mini bar and pulling out a whiskey for her and a gin for him. "Let's talk, Shepard … even if it means that you hurt me … I want you to be completely honest and open about us. About what you want from me. If anything."

* * *

><p>"That was the best meal that I've had in a long time," Garrus said to Hansina.<p>

"Thank you," she said, as she began to take away the midday meal plates.

"So why are you here?" Lilihierax asked his old military buddy.

"To be honest," Garrus answered, "I'm not quite sure. My team and I were directed to Noveria but we don't know why."

"Well, there are plenty of things here to do if you are looking for challenges," he said, pouring them glasses of Vergil. "There's a problem up on Peak 15 and Synthetic Insights was shut down by the Administrator Anoleis."

"Don't forget that asari Matriarch," Hansina added. "She was beautiful! Came through just a few days ago and created quite a stir."

"A Matriarch?" Garrus sat up. "Where did she go?"

"That's what you are looking for?" Lilihierax asked. "A Matriarch? She took a shuttle to Peak 15 before we lost contact."

"Peak 15?" Garrus asked.

"Binary Helix," Hansina said, "With this blizzard it seems their satellite uplink has been cut though ... so you would have to go there if you wanted to talk to her."

"We live in a constant blizzard," Lilihierax argued. "Never cut the satellite uplinks before."

"What do you think happened?" Garrus asked, knowing that this was what they were looking for.

"Fifteen's always had a lousy reputation," Lilihierax said. "Nobody talks about what they do there."

"And everyone sent up there always comes back just a little quieter," Hansina added as she sat down at the table again. "And I mean everyone."

"Can you arrange for me and a few others to take a shuttle up there?" Garrus asked.

"You will need passes," he said. "But right now that won't do you any good … all of the shuttles are stopped while the blizzard is in full swing."

"Where do we get passes?" Garrus asked.

"You can get passes from Anoleis or one of the managers," Lilihierax said. "But be prepared to polish enough gizzard."

"When do you think the shuttles will be running again?" Garrus took another drink.

"The earliest?" Lilihierax stopped to look at the weather report on his omni-tool, "Within the next two days."

"I need to contact my associate," Garrus said, rising from the table.

"If you require privacy," Hansina said, "you can go into Lilihierax's office."

"Thank you," Garrus said, hoping that Shepard would answer his call.


	72. No Matter The Risk

The conference room was slowly starting to fill up with personnel as Kaidan greeted Dr. Chakwas while pouring himself a glass of ice water. He was still unhappy that Shepard's lover had appeared on Noveria and as he took a drink of water his mind went back to the day prior. The thought of her being touched by someone else bothered him and as they waited for her to return to the Port Hanshan executive lounge, he couldn't help but watch Liara. Liara had seemed unchanged as she sipped on a glass of elasa while he found it hard to not pace as the minutes ticked away. When Shepard returned alone he had been happy but Liara seemed neither pleased or upset … It made him think that the rumors that Liara was attracted to Shepard were completely false. He would need to tell Joker that he was wrong when he had a chance. From what he had just seen, Liara was not interested in the Commander.

Later that evening Shepard had went to dinner with her lover and his associates at the restaurant in the Caelstis 5 Hotel. Kaidan had stayed up until she returned to the Normandy alone shortly before midnight while Liara was already asleep. Unlike Kaidan, Liara had experienced Shepard's passion and she did not feel or see a hint of it when Shepard was kissed by her human lover. Liara understood that it did not mean that Shepard did not feel an attachment to the human but it showed her that there had been something more between them.

"I have the turian on-line," Joker said over the comm., "shall I put him through?"

"Yes," Pressly said pouring himself coffee as Kaidan took his seat and Diouf lit a cigar.

"Hello?" the turian's familiar voice sounded. "Commander?"

"She's not here yet," Pressly said, taking his seat.

"Should I upload the layout to Peak 15?" Garrus asked.

"Yes," Adams said, switching on the screen. "We need to see what type of defenses they have and what obstacles lay ahead."

* * *

><p>As the comm. room began to fill up to discuss Peak 15 in the Skadi Mountains, Shepard was finishing up a letter to her grandmother back on Earth. After her long talk and break up with Liam she was feeling in need of her family. She knew that she and Liam had gone as far as they would go and that he deserved more but it still hurt. Shepard looked at a picture of her parents and knew that she was around the age her mother was when she met her father … "Will I find someone like daddy?" she asked her mother's image as Queen Latifah crooned <em>Simply Beautiful<em>. "Who am I kidding? I don't deserve someone special like you did, momma ... It's a single life for me."

"Commander?" Tali called out to her as she stood in the open doorway. Shepard liked her crew to feel comfortable to approach and talk to her if they had concerns, so when she was in her stateroom she kept the door open when not requiring privacy. "May I speak with you?"

"Sure," Shepard said, hitting send on her e-mail and then standing up from her desk and moving to the table in the sitting area. "How can I help you?"

"I've been looking at the satellite images of the Binary Helix headquarters on Peak 15 …" Tali said, looking at her omni-tool, "… and there appears to be a problem."

"What kind of problem?" Shepard asked as she looked at the image now popped up on Tali's omni-tool.

"There does not seem to be power," Tali said. "Look … the grid is cold."

"The grid?" Shepard looked at where the quarian was pointing but wasn't seeing what she was.

"You will need someone to get the power back on," Tali said. "The weather is reading at -32c and the winds at 76km … without power you could freeze."

"We have our suits to protect us from the cold," Shepard said, "We should be fine … but you're right. Without the power this doesn't look good for the employees … Let's hope that they have things to keep them warm."

"Yes," Tali's voice sounded pleased and almost excited that Shepard agreed. "Someone needs to get them back on-line … and quick."

"Someone as in … you?" Shepard asked, having denied the quarian many times to be part of the ground team.

"I know that I can do this," Tali said, pulling up her weapons score. "I've been going to the range at least once a day … see! Lt. Diouf issued a Marksmanship Badge to me just last week."

"Tali," Shepard stood up and looked at the quarian in her environmental suit.

"Commander," Tali pressed, "I can take care of this … Please let me go."

Shepard looked at the quarian's weapons score and knew that it was impressive but … "Tali, I don't know what we are going to run into out there. And I'm sure that BH is already working on it."

"Commander," Tali said, "you know that I can take care of myself … and if there isn't anyone working on this … I can determine where the fail is faster than anyone on this ship … you know that."

Shepard looked at the quarian and knew that she was right. She would need the power on fast … especially if she expected to save whoever was still alive up there. Her team was already going in blind and knowing that Liara's mother was there only added to her stress. Could she really combat a Matriarch and a team of commando? If Shepard were honest she would admit that she was unsure of her own odds to survive this time. "Can you tell how long the power has been off?"

"Looking at captures from last week," Tali answered as she pulled up previous satellite photos, "they were still on-line … so it hasn't been over a week."

"Hopefully less," Shepard said, "Is there any way that you can see if there are survivors?"

"No, Commander," Tali answered, sounding down that she couldn't answer her.

"If I take you with us," Shepard said, "You need to take direction without question."

"Of course," Tali sounded excited. "I promise!"

"And no playing the hero," Shepard almost laughed as Tali appeared to dance as she headed for the door.

"You will not regret this," Tali promised as she stood in the doorway.

* * *

><p>"Did you get the passes?" Kaidan asked Ashley who had just entered the conference room.<p>

"Only three," Ashley said, putting them on the conference table.

"That's not enough," Diouf said, "We need at least double that!"

"I know," Ashley said, "But this is what that Gianna Parasini gave me early this morning in the plaza."

"After Shepard helped her with that corrupt administrator?" Kaidan shook his head in disgust.

"I know," Ashley frowned. "But there has to be a way that we can make this work."

"Shepard as a SpecTRe doesn't need a pass …" Diouf said, as he crushed out his cigar, "so which three of us goes with her?"

"The krogan won't stay behind," Pressly reminded the group. "So there is one pass unless any of you want to tell him that he can't have it?"

"Wrex will find a way to get there on his own," Kaidan said, "So that won't be a problem."

"Where is he?" Diouf asked, "I thought he would have been here?"

"He has his contract to complete this morning," Kaidan answered, "and then he said he would meet us there in the mountains."

"What is his contract?" Garrus asked over the comm. "Does anyone know?"

"No clue," Kaidan answered. "To be honest, I didn't ask … he scared me when we spoke late last night … him and the other krogan seemed to not be in very good moods."

Ashley nodded, "I still don't understand why the Commander trusts him."

"Where is the Commander?" Garrus asked.

"The Commander was with the quarian when I passed by," Dr. Chakwas answered, waving the men to retake their seat as she headed for the coffee in the corner of the room.

"So which three goes with her?" Pressly asked, getting settled back into his chair.

"I'm not staying behind," Kaidan said.

"None of us are," Diouf said. "Garrus, can your contact get a few under the rope?"

"Lilihierax?" he looked out at the storm as he stood in the plaza, "He may complain but … how many?"

"Four?" Diouf said. "You, me, Grenado and Laflamme?"

"What about Liara?" Ashley asked Kaidan. "If we bring her with us, her presence might put Benezia off-guard."

"The Commander didn't want her to even know that her mother was here," Kaidan said.

"But having her might work in our favor," Garrus said.

"What might work in our favor?" Shepard asked as she walked into the conference room. The men stood again as Shepard told them to sit back down and went where Dr. Chakwas was … "Good morning, doctor."

"Commander," Chakwas gave a slight tug on Shepard shirt as she looked at the bandage on her right shoulder. "Let's get a fresh dressing on that after this meeting."

"Sure," Shepard grabbed a coffee cup as she looked at the cinnamon buns. "Breakfast first?"

"Commander," Kaidan said as Shepard and Chakwas moved around the breakfast spread, "It's about Liara."

"What about Liara?" Shepard asked, adding cream and sugar to her coffee.

"Maybe we should tell her that her mother is here," Kaidan said, not sure if the Commander was even listening to her. Chakwas and Shepard were still chatting about the breakfast spread.

"We should bring her along," Garrus seconded, "Maybe she can reason with Benezia."

"No," Shepard said, turning away from the table as she stirred her coffee. "Liara is not to know."

"But Commander," Kaidan said, "This is her …"

"No," Shepard shut him down. "I will not discuss this further." Shepard looked at the three Port Hanshan garage passes on the conference table and frowned, "Ash, how many passes did Gia give us?"

"Only these three," Ashley answered as Shepard took her seat with her coffee and plate of fruit.

"That's it?" Shepard shook her head. "We get shot at and I reopen my wound running from a crazy biotic and all she can give us are three passes?"

"I knew that blond bitch was corrupt," Ashley said, remembering their confrontation in the Synthetic Insights office.

"My knife," Shepard frowned. "I need to stop at Opold's and get it replaced."

"What happened to it?" Diouf asked.

"It's stuck in the side of the second floor railing," Ashley said, as Shepard took a bite of watermelon.

"Why?" Diouf looked at Shepard.

"I used it to stop my fall," Shepard answered, adjusting her shoulder. "Ashley's blond girlfriend threw me over the balcony … and I used it to … hang on. It worked."

"The look on her face when she bent over the railing and saw you hanging there," Ashley almost laughed. "LT was about to hit her from behind but the Commander reached up and pulled her down."

Shepard remembered the way that Sergeant Kaira Stirling had screamed as she fell to the floor head first. Her scream silenced as her neck snapped and Shepard, not wanting to remember it, focused on her own miracle, "I don't know how I was able to stop my fall … how my knife dug in."

"You can have mine," Diouf said, pulling out his Fixation Bowie.

"Or if you prefer," Kaidan pulled out his knife, "you can have mine … it's a Bundeswehr."

"Take mine," Chakwas said, "I have a SOG Seal Knife 2100 back in my office."

"You have a combat knife?" Ashley asked, surprised at the doctor.

"Don't let that grey hair fool you," Shepard told Ashley. "I've been in the shooting range with this woman … Impressive scores. And in case you didn't know, the doctor was a member of the UK Archery team in the Olympics."

"You?" Ashley looked at Chakwas who was smiling at Shepard.

"You were in the Olympics?" Adams asked, looking surprised at his friend. "You never told me that."

"We took the silver that year," Chakwas told the group. "Something that the Commander learned completely on her own."

"The French took gold," Shepard grinned and then looked at Diouf. "Beaten by the frogs!"

"Vive la France!" Diouf cheered as Chakwas laughed.

"What year was that?" Adams asked, still in shock.

"Why not just ask her age?" Shepard laughed.

"Let's just say that it happened in this century," Chakwas winked at Adams.

"I'll remember that if we need someone arrowed," Diouf joked. "And there isn't a fellow Frenchman around."

"Careful, Lieutenant," Chakwas said, "I would hate to see you perish from a small scrape in battle."

"Williams, Alenko and Freedman take the green cards," Shepard said after smiling at Chakwas' playful jab.

"Yes, ma'am," Ashley said, handing one of the passes to Lt. Jessica Freedman and shoving another towards Kaidan.

"Garrus," Shepard continued, "can you get Diouf, Laflamme and Satake in through your contact?"

"How can I say no?" Garrus almost seemed to sigh in defeat.

"You can't," she said, then added. "Also, be advised that according to Mechanic Joe the power appears to be off … so Grenado will fly Tali and I under the radar ahead of everyone else. Hopefully, the quarian can get it powered back up before you guys get there."

"Powered off?" Garrus broke in.

"Yes," Shepard heard the concern in his voice.

"Code Omega," Garrus said.

"What is that?" Diouf asked.

"My contact said that if there is a critical containment failure up there," Garrus explained, "it goes into a Code Omega that shuts everything down. If the shut down fails to correct the problem then the executive board here in Port Hanshan votes on the facility's future … whether or not to destroy it from orbit."

"Lovely," Shepard shook her head. "How long before they start to worry?"

"I'll ask," Garrus said.

"What about the Matriarch?" Kaidan asked. "If you don't have support …"

"Caroline is quite skilled at combat," Shepard cut him off. "As am I, in case you have forgotten … and while a part of me may be concerned about the quarian's safety, she did take down a geth."

"But Shepard," Kaidan was worried.

"If the power is down they will need help," Shepard looked at him. "Even the Matriarch can freeze to death. Garrus, did you get the layouts to the facility?"

"Yes," Diouf answered for him as the layout to Central Station was pulled up on the screen.

"Then let's get to planning," Shepard said as the room grew quiet.

* * *

><p>The tank was solid and she knew with just a flick of her finger the queen would be dead as the tank had been created just for her … built with tubes leading to smaller tanks filled with acid. The creature inside was moving away from her as she carefully reached out with her mind and gave the queen a little push. There was minimal resistance and it made the Matriarch smile. She would be sweeping the queen's mind and was pleased to see that it would be completed easily by her … but painful for the queen.<p>

The egg carrying the queen had been found in a derelict rachni ship and Saren had hoped to use her offspring in the upcoming war … to show the reapers his value as a leader. He knew based off the messages left by the protheans that there was no hope of survival … at least not in a traditional sense. So if the reapers could see his value then maybe, just maybe, they would allow him to live. Him and those of his choosing. He had placed the Matriarch over this project and its funding while he focused on another project on Virmire that was even more vital to him and his cause.

The Matriarch had to leave the project in the researchers' hands off and on these past eight weeks while she attended to other matters that were even higher in priority on Saren's list … The first one centered around her daughter and the SpecTRe. After both her daughter and the human SpecTRe slipped through her hands, she had found Saren more distant from her and as she worked on gaining his trust the researchers failed her. They had decided to separate the colony from the queen, believing that it would make them more pliable and obedient to them. Instead, the young became withdrawn and eventually insane without the mother's guidance. By the time they had realized their error, the young had escaped their containment cells and a message was quickly dispatched to the Matriarch.

"Why do others fail to understand the role of mothers?" She asked the queen as she ran her hand down the side of the tank. "To have separated your children from you … it could only have led to this tragedy."

Zenaida had arrived in the lab with a half dozen commando and could see that the Matriarch was still troubled by this recent turn of events. This project … her project … was to use the rachni queen's colony to hunt and slay any and all of Saren's enemies. But now with this fatal mistake, separating the children from their mother … from her singing … the colony was lost and the queen closed off.

"Those males do not know the privilege of being a mother," the Matriarch continued to speak to the queen, still angry at their deadly mistake of the separation. "There is power in creation … power and a responsibility. To shape a life ... turn it towards happiness or despair ... towards obedience or rebellion … towards love or hate. The fools!" As the queen moved about, the Matriarch turned to face Zenaida. "How soon can you restore power?"

"I am afraid that it will take longer than expected," Zenaida said. "Since the colony escaped from their containment cells the facility has been placed under its emergency containment procedures."

"Code Omega," the Matriarch glowered.

She knew that the ECP included the main reactor shutting down and the VI being taken off-line … as well as the shuttles. The facility, dropping in temperature was part of Code Omega as it worked to either deactivate or kill whatever may have escaped. The only way to shut down the ECP was to manually restart the system back at Central Station, twenty-two miles away.

"If we travel through the shuttle tunnels on razrs," Zenaida suggested, "we could be there within the hour … if there is no roadblocks or rachni."

"I need you to stay here," the Matriarch said. "Send an engineer with two commandos and a few geth. We need to get the power and heat back on but I need you to stay here and keep her children from this area."

"Yes. Matriarch," Zenaida bowed slightly, and the Matriarch returned to the queen.

"Now," the Matriarch moved closer, "let us see what you have hidden from view. What treasures are waiting for me deep in your mind that will please Saren."

* * *

><p>It had been a long and detail-oriented meeting and Shepard was glad when it finally broke up. She normally loved these kinds of meetings, preparing strategies and looking at potential roadblocks … but her heart wasn't in this one. She knew that this success was probably going to be at the cost of the Matriarch's life and it made her feel a little sick. As if she was preparing to kill her own her mother … a feeling that she knew existed solely because of Liara. Yes, these creatures had poisoned her but she was finding it hard to hold on to her anger … to hold on to her want of revenge. She wanted to hurt them both … mother and daughter … but not kill them.<p>

"Garrus," Shepard said as the meeting broke up, "if your contact is unable to get you and Diouf's team out of Port Hanshan let me and Diouf know immediately."

"Don't worry, Commander," Garrus said. "As you humans say ... I will get us out one way or another."

"Then we all need to be ready to move at 0900," Shepard said, standing up.

"Aye, aye, Commander," was heard around the table as Shepard headed for the door.

Kaidan looked at Ashley and she frowned as she turned and followed after the Commander.

* * *

><p>Shepard entered her quarters and as she pulled up the layout of the Binary Helix facility, Queen Latifah was singing <em>California Dreamin'<em> which made Shepard smile. How many times had she sung that with her parents?

"Commander?" Shepard heard Ashley as she stepped through the open door to her quarters.

"What?" Shepard asked, looking up at her Chief.

"Do you have a minute?" Ashley asked, sounding a little nervous.

_Liara_, Shepard thought as she looked back at the layout, "A minute."

"Are you sure that you don't want to tell the asari?" Ashley asked.

"Why?" Shepard asked, moving the layout around.

"It's her mother," Ashley answered, wishing that the Commander would look at her and not the layout of Binary Helix's main garage.

"Her mother," Shepard looked over at her own mother. "What would you do, Ash, if your mother had changed? If people you were with were hunting her because of that change?"

Ashley looked at where Shepard was looking and shook her head, "I don't know."

"Would you stand by and let me kill your mother?" Shepard asked, turning to look deep into her Gunnery Chief's eyes. "Would you?"

"No," Ashley answered, breaking the eye contact and looking at the layout instead.

"Why would the asari be different?" Shepard asked her as she shut down the layout.

"I don't know," Ashley answered, looking again at the Commander. "But Shepard … if the asari could talk to her mother … make her see reason … Maybe just by her being there, it will throw her off."

"Give her chance?" Shepard asked, looking again at Hannah Shepard. "Risk putting Liara in a room to watch her mother die? Maybe even cause her own death?"

"I know that there is no right answer," Ashley said, wishing that she could make this easier on Shepard. "But if this was me … I would want a chance to save my mother. Or at least die trying."

"Save," Shepard thought of her dad and looked at her hands. "Like a nice fairytale."

"Shepard?" Ashley could see that her Commander was struggling.

"Bring Dr. T'Soni to me," Shepard sighed as she sat down on the edge of her bed and looked up at Ashley. "Bring her to me before I change my mind."

* * *

><p>Shepard didn't know how long she had sat on her bed but her thoughts were finally interrupted by her Gunnery Chief, "Commander? Dr. T'Soni is here."<p>

Shepard looked at the asari and wished that life had been different as P.M. Dawn slipped into _The Ways of the Wind_, "Ashley, please leave me alone with Dr. T'Soni."

"Yes, ma'am," Ashley said, closing the door behind her as she exited.

With Ashley gone, Shepard looked at Liara and as she stood up she softly said, "Liara, the Matriarch is here on Noveria."

"Mother?" Liara moved closer to Shepard. "She is here?"

"Yes," Shepard nodded, still angry at the asari but also wishing that she could reunite her with her mother. That somehow she could do for Liara what she could not do for herself with her father.

"She is here," Liara moved away from Shepard and looked at the iMuse. "I can't believe it."

Shepard looked at Liara and as the asari closed her eyes, she wished she knew what Liara was thinking, "Your thoughts?"

"Mine?" Liara looked at Shepard, "I was thinking that you probably wanted to talk to me about my mother. About me. About your concerns."

"There are those in the team who think you should come with us," Shepard said. "That you might be able to keep this peaceful between us and your mother."

"But not you," Liara said, moving closer to Shepard.

"What do you think?" Shepard asked, looking deep into her eyes.

"You have every right to doubt me," Liara answered.

"Doubt?" Shepard shook her head, "I have every right to hate you."

"Do you?" Liara asked, wanting nothing more than to let Shepard inside her. To see that she never met her harm.

Shepard could feel her need to lash out against the pain that Liara had caused her but bit her tongue and lowered her head. "We are getting off the subject, doctor."

"If you would feel safer leaving me on the Normandy," Liara said. "I will stay."

"But what do you want?" Shepard asked, even as every part of her told her that taking Liara was insane.

"I would like to see her," Liara answered. "Maybe I can persuade her to come peacefully with us ... to understand that you mean her no harm."

"And if not?" Shepard asked. "If the Matriarch pushes my hand? What then, Liara? We humans have a saying … _Blood is thicker than water_."

"My people have an expression too," Liara said. "_Only a child never contradicts her mother_."

"Liara," Shepard shook her head. "Contradicting and watching a parent die …"

"Shepard," Liara moving just a few inches from her, "I meant what I said before … I did not know that it was papyr. What my mother did was wrong … no ... not my mother ... that was not my mother. She would have never approved of what happened on Quana. She is a good person … a person of great love and honor. Poisoning you is something that she would have condemned. But as I said … if you would feel safer leaving me on the Normandy … I will stay."

Shepard looked away from Liara at her own parents … at her father and remembered her moment on Mindoir with him. She had seen her parent die violently and to put Liara in that position if she was truly innocent. Here was Shepard's struggle ... and she knew that she was in a damned if you do and damned if you don't corner ..."Liara … I don't know."

"Shepard," Liara reached out and touched Shepard on her arm, "I will put my trust in you. Whatever decision you make I will follow ... I trust you."

"Trust?" Shepard looked at Liara and wished that she had the answers on how this would turn out. Looking into Liara's blue eyes she knew that if this was her own mother she would want a chance to save her. "You can come with us … but if you betray me ..." Shepard looked over at Hannah and knew that she would have put her own mother ahead of Liara, "If you betray me for your mother … I will not hesitate to …"

Liara reached up and touched Shepard's cheek, "Kill me? Shepard, if she is following Saren and I follow her then it would be kind of you to cease my pain."

"Is it that easy?" Shepard asked, a lump in her throat.

"Shepard," the scent of cinnamon filled the air, "I cannot say what will happen if I go ... But no matter the risk, she is my mother. I have to try and bring her home."

"God help me," Shepard moved away, "I understand, Liara. No matter the risk ... you can come."

"Thank you Shepard," Liara said. "This means a great deal to me."


	73. Daughter To Daughter

The geth were a godsend for Wrex and Inamorda. They had originally planned on completing their contract after the Aleutsk Valley road came to a Y with the right leading to Binary Helix and the left to the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB. They had planned on pushing the Klondike that the humans were traveling in off the IRL road after the tunnel and over the cliff. The death of the VP needed to look like an accident and not a blatant _I want your job_ death or they would lose a portion of their pay. But before they reached the road there was a geth ambush on the main road and even with the storm, in this area not too far from Port Hanshan, the two krogan could see the scene play out clearly and to the krogan it was _beautiful_.

As the vehicle approached the first tunnel it was hit by a missile pushing it on its side, and then as smoke began to seep out of its bottom it pushed its occupants out of the sides. Wrex watched as the driver and another male crawled out of the burning Klondike and ran towards them ... or really towards Port Hanshan. A third male was reaching back into the upturned vehicle and helping a female out. Off in the distance, the two krogans saw three geth troopers and a stalker start to approach. The male with the female saw what was coming and instead of running, continued to stay with her.

_Leave her_, Wrex had thought as the geth drew closer. Instead, the male picked her up through the window, lowered her down and then dropped down next to her. She was hurt and he put her arm around his shoulder and began stumbling towards a group of rocks in hopes of … what? _Your struggle is futile_, Wrex thought as he saw the male struggling to get him and the female away from the geth. Inamorda watched the two as the male signed his death certificate by staying with the female … with the contract. Even if they escaped the geth and the cold, the male would die by staying with her.

"He's a fool," Inamorda said of the male. "He should have left her."

The stalker crawled towards this couple as the three shock troopers quickly took down the other two fleeing males. As the men were quickly overtaken, Wrex could almost hear the female scream as the stalker jumped on the male. He fell forward, dropping the female who had started to try and quickly crawl away as the stalker's 16" blade slid out of its left palm and was shoved into the male's back.

"Kill her," Inamorda grumbled, tired of the show and ready to get back to his place in the bar. The male struggled against the geth, screaming at the female to get away, but Wrex knew that even in her environment suit the weather would kill her even if she escaped the geth. He could tell the cold was already slowing her legs and arms as her male companion could be seen jerking against the geth's repeated stabbings. The female had made it only a few feet from the companion when she lost her strength. The male was no longer struggling and the stalker began pulling the female to it by her left leg. Within seconds it had flipped her over and thrust its blade into her throat.

Within a matter of minutes the geth had killed the four humans and were now heading back to the tunnel.

"Job done," Inamorda said, as he slowly began to turn their Klondike around to return to the garage at Port Hanshan.

"Almost," Wrex said, pulling out his shotgun and shooting the krogan in the head. He then opened the door, pushed the dead krogan out and slid over as he ignored the blood and bits of matter. Inamorda had sold information on Ruha to the Shadow Broker and this was Ruha's warning to traitors. Wrex had not planned to kill him by the VP but with the geth so close and now the guilty party of her death ... he knew that the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB would also assume the krogan was also a victim of the geth.

As Wrex now sat in the driver's seat, he looked out at the dead couple in the snow. What Wrex had just witnessed meant nothing to him. What were four dead humans to him? It wasn't like they were a dying breed. They were more like pyjaks … springing up everywhere on Tuchanka. Wrex looked at the time and knew that Shepard would be leaving Port Hanshan as well as their teams shortly. He turned the vehicle back towards Peak 15, towards the geth that had just silenced the four humans and started forward. As he prepared to battle them, to clear the path for the teams to follow, the only thing that this morning's show meant to him was coin in his account. He was going to arrive on Peak 15 a wealthier krogan.

* * *

><p>"For the record," Shepard yelled over the sounds of bullets tearing into the Eurocopter, "that was not an acceptable landing!"<p>

"I told you we were coming in hot!" Grenado yelled back. "That damn turret was unexpected!"

"Excuses!" Shepard grumbled, unlatching herself as a piece of the window shattered. "Just because we shut down three on the way … you were not supposed to take a break!"

"At least we are all alive!" Grenado retorted, unlatching herself.

"Tali!" Shepard looked back at the quarian who was curled up behind her, "are you okay?"

"I'm checking my suit," Tali yelled back. "I think I have a breach somewhere!"

Shepard began to curse in her mother's tongue as she looked around them … there was a utility vehicle upturned just forty steps from them … "We need to get away from this bird! Can you both make it to that vehicle?"

"You want us to run out into the open?" Tali asked, terrified. "In this cold? With those bullets?"

"We can't stay here!" Shepard said as a ricochet was heard just over her head and then a fire started in the back. "Besides, the blizzard will give us some protection! They can't hit what they can't see clearly!"

"The cold will also kill us!" Grenado said. "We need to get out of this! And quick!"

"Fire! Fire!" Tali yelled as the flames began licking towards them.

"Just hold on to me," Shepard told Tali as she began to crawl out of the helicopter. "Do not let go!"

"No, Commander!" Tali yelled over her fear, the storm and the sound of the turret.

"Carol," Shepard yelled at her Lt., "Once we are safely behind the vehicle stay with Tali."

"Where are you going?" Grenado asked as they began to sprint.

"To shut that turret down!" Shepard said as she felt the quarian cling even tighter as they began to run through the blizzard. "Not just for us but the others!"

That was the plan. But as Shepard began to head for the vehicle, she felt herself being turned around as the quarian moved ahead. Tali, still holding the back of Shepard's suit, quickly ran ahead and keeping a grip on the Commander was pulling her along.

"Shepard!" Grenado yelled, as she saw the Commander being pulled by the fleeing quarian. The Commander in fact was being drug towards the garage by the quarian … on her ass. Her feet dragging as her ass bounced off the ground, with the quarian moving almost like a gazelle.

"Tali!" Shepard could be heard yelling, but the quarian was unstoppable … and panicking to not get shot or die in the cold. Shepard cried out again but the quarian would not be stopped as she headed to the next vehicle and then to the garage service door. As she used her omni-tool to quickly bypass the lock, Shepard saw that Grenado was just then running to the next vehicle. The quarian had left her in the dust and had Shepard not been in her clutches she knew that she would have also been back with Grenado.

"Hurry! Hurry!" Tali said, as she rushed through the now opened garage service door.

"How fast can you run?" Shepard asked, stepping inside and then looking back out the door.

"Holy shit!" Grenado came racing in, "what the hell was that? I felt like I was chasing the road runner!"

"Try being drug by a road runner," Shepard said, looking at Tali. "What did I say about following orders? I didn't instruct you to give my ass a beating!"

"I had to check my suit," Tali answered, as the two women looked at her in amazement. "I didn't let go … did I?"

Shepard laughed despite her sore bottom, "No … no, Joe, you did not let go."

"Sorry," Tali said, sounding embarrassed now that she knew she was fine.

"That's okay," Shepard told her, rubbbing her ass. "Fear is a great adrenalin rush … just work on it not making you lose control next time."

"How much do you weigh in that suit?" Grenado asked, thinking how fast the quarian moved even as she had the Commander dragging behind her.

"Twice as much as the quarian," Shepard answered. "Or close to it with my armor."

"Shit!" Grenado shook her head, "How quick can she move without you?"

"I wonder how much she can lift?" Shepard pushed even farther.

"Commander!" Tali yelled, as she pointed to two mutilated bodies. One a salarian and the other a volus.

"Shit!" Shepard was beginning to know geth attacks and the wounds that they left on their victims.

"What now, Commander?" Tali asked, looking over at the door leading into the main section of the garage.

"How do we get this power on?" Grenado asked, turning on her flashlight as the outside door was shut putting them in semi-darkness.

"First," Shepard said, turning her light on, "Send the teams an update and highlight the resistance waiting for them outside."

"Yes, ma'am," Grenado answered, pulling up her omni-tool as Shepard swept the area with her flashlight and found three more bodies.

As the three had flown to the facility they had taken note of the pockets of geth as they shut down the turrets. Shepard had shot down the first two and then let Tali take out the third. It had taken the quarian's focus off the close calls … and there were too many to count … where the chopper fought the winds and almost crashed against the mountain.

"Tali," Shepard whispered as they moved to the other service door, "I don't know what kind of trouble is on the other side of that door …"

"Geth," Tali cut in. "Don't worry about me, Commander. I can take care of myself."

"We take care of each other," Shepard corrected her.

"Of course, Commander," Tali answered. "I just want you to know that I can help."

"I know you can," Shepard said. "I just don't want you to panic again or break away from me."

"No, Commander," Tali said.

"Are we ready?" Shepard looked at Grenado who nodded. "Okay, here we go … stay alert but don't shoot unless we know if it's a hostile. I'd hate to kill a survivor after they lived through a geth attack."

* * *

><p>"Can't you go any faster?" Ashley asked Kaidan as he seemed to crawl around a Klondike on fire with four dead bodies scattered about it.<p>

"To go any faster is to risk sliding off the hill," he said, changing gears in their Klondike. "These vehicles don't seem to grip the road as well as I thought. Better than a Mako but … at least not in this type of storm."

Liara was looking out her window and silently reciting a poem of her mother's called _Touched by her Splendor_. It was a celebration of a lover and all the gifts that she brought and was one of Liara's favorites. Benezia had taught her the poem when she was in her early forties and Liara often wondered who had inspired it. Was it the asari that she had chosen to mate with? She hoped that reciting it would stop her stomach from turning.

"Did you hear the Commander play the guitar a few nights ago?" Ashley asked Kaidan, as she turned up the heat.

"No," Kaidan shook his head, "I was working a double on the bridge."

"She did this song called _Johnny Got a Boom Boom_," Ashley laughed. "She was doing it all rock n' roll like and the turian was playing along with his weird guitar-y thing and Chase was pounding on his legs like drums ... the quarian started to dance and that crazy Satake joined her … it was funny. He was trying to dance like her and fell over his own legs. I've never seen the Commander laugh so hard."

As Liara listened to Ashley go on about the musical party in Garrus' small room, it took her back to her times with her mother on Lusia when the Matriarch would move amongst the field workers, the perioikos, and in the evenings she would sing and dance with them. Liara had at first stood apart, unsure of what to do, but then as her mother pulled her in, held her tight and sang _One Mayngo and I'll Say Yes_ … she had giggled until she cried. It was a silly song and to see her mother rejoice in its silliness made Liara realize that she was seeing the maiden in her mother.

"The Commander should be there by now," Kaidan said, adjusting the mirror on the visor and looking at Liara, "Are you okay back there?"

"Yes," Liara looked at him in the miror. "I am fine, thank you."

Ashley shifted and hoped that Liara could talk her mother over to their side … and she hoped that she would not be required to take any kind of action against the asari. Shepard had called Ashley back into her stateroom after Liara had gone and sat her Chief down, "What we are about to discuss, Ash, stays between us."

"Yes, Ma'am," Ashley said, watching Shepard pull out her bottle of whiskey.

"It's about Dr. T'Soni," Shepard said, pouring drinks for both of them and handing a glass to Ashley, "I believe she is innocent ... that she is not part of Saren's followers. I also think that what has happened to her mother is something she doesn't understand."

"The indoctrination that the asari on Feros talked about?" Ashley asked, looking at her drink.

"Yes," Shepard said, taking a drink. "But I don't think it would matter even if she did understand indoctrination."

"No?" Ashley looked at Shepard.

"No," Shepard frowned. "I keep thinking that if this were my mother … It wouldn't matter if she were sane or insane. I couldn't stand by and watch anyone raise a hand against her."

"No," Ashley took a drink and looked at Shepard, "I couldn't either ... not if it were my mother."

"So where does that leave us?" Shepard said, looking at her drink.

"Do you want me to do it?" Ashley asked, looking at her own drink instead of Shepard.

Shepard continued to look at the amber in her glass, fighting the urge to pound her fist against the wall.

"Commander?" Ashley looked at her. "If the asari turns against us, do you want me to do it?"

"You mean … if she defends her mother?" Shepard corrected as she fought back tears, "There is no other option."

"Okay," Ashley finished her drink.

"Daughter to daughter," Shepard said, downing her drink and pushing the empty glass away. "If she sides with her mother, make it quick and painless … daughter to daughter."

"Don't worry, Commander," Ashley said. "It will be a clean shot. Quick and painless."

_A clean shot_, Ashley thought as she looked at the asari in the back seat. She hoped that she did not have to take that shot … that the asari could bring her mother over to their side or at the least stand down as they fought her mother … but she doubted it. Ashley did not personally like the asari who she thought was rude and felt that the asari believed herself to be superior to Ashley and the other humans. There were a few times in their interactions that Ashley would have loved to have backhanded her for her _snobbery_ … but killing her? No. This is not what Ashley wanted. She may not have liked Liara but she prayed that she didn't have to kill her.

Liara saw Ashley looking at her and it made her nervous. She was uncomfortable around this human. Ashley was a force that knocked things over as she passed and Liara saw her as a bull in a china shop … she was Shepard without the restraint or the … well, touch of Hannah. When Ashley and Shepard were together, Liara watched fascinated as they pushed each other, punched each other and spoke in a tone that was hard. It scared Liara at times … this coarseness of spirit … and she preferred Shepard when they were alone or in the company of people like Dr. Chakwas or Kaidan. Seeing her with Ashley reminded her that the person she was attracted to was human … that Shepard was a force that moved forward aggressively and without apology. Time was too short for these humans and patience was a rare commodity. Ashley highlighted what she did not like about humans … and seeing the glances that this brutish human was giving her made her wonder what she was thinking.

"Another message is coming across from the Commander," Ashley said, pulling Liara's thoughts back to Shepard.

"You know that between the krogan and Diouf's team," Kaidan said, looking at three geth sprawled out in the snow, "we are going to have a quiet ride to the facility."

"Are you complaining, LT?" Ashley asked, reading Grenado's addition of the turret active at the facility.

"No," Kaidan answered, looking at Liara in the mirror. "No complaints."

* * *

><p>"What the hell are those things?" Garrus asked, as Lt. Diouf moved one of the arms of a dead insect-like creature with his assault rifle. There had been a battle here between these creatures, the geth, Binary Helix employees and the Commander's team … and not seeing Shepard or her team was a good sign ... as was the power being restored. Looking at the scene closer, Diouf could see that the BH employees were killed much earlier by the geth.<p>

"No clue," Diouf said, scanning it in his omni-tool and calling out to Kaidan on his comm., "Lt. Alenko, I'm sending over a shot of a … thing. Can you have that asari scientist look at it? Does she know what it is? What we are up against?"

"If that crash didn't get her," Satake said as they finished checking the immediate area, "then those things didn't have a chance. But poor Caroline! I bet the Commander chewed her ass out for crashing the whirly bird!"

"Just keep moving," Diouf said, looking at Garrus, "Why don't you follow from the rear with your scope … if anymore of those things or geth appear you can show us your skills."

"Lt, can I go ahead with Wrex?" Satake asked just as Wrex moved into the next room.

"I'd prefer if we …" Diouf started when they heard a crash in the other room. The team moved carefully but quickly towards the sound and found the krogan standing over another one of those creatures, taking its final breath. This one was larger and had used its tail to rip through the krogan's armor before he had crushed its head with his body.

"You okay, Wrex?" Satake asked.

"Keep moving," Wrex said, as he turned and headed for the tram station.

* * *

><p>The Commander had arrived just an hour earlier as Diouf's team had caught up with Wrex on the road, where he was moving slower as he cleared the path. Lt. Alenko and Chief Williams was just a quarter of an hour behind them bringing the asari and additional supplies. It had been agreed that all teams after the Commander's would meet in the tram station if the power was restored when they arrived. As Wrex, Diouf and the team came into the tram station, Grenado was taking a quick nap, Tali was grabbing a bite and Shepard was leaning against a rail, the top of her armor gone.<p>

"Commander," Diouf said, "Where is your armor?"

Without saying a word, Shepard went over to where Grenado was napping and pulled it out from under the seat. It appeared to have melted in areas and completely disappeared in others … "Don't let those insect things spit on you," she finally said. "Their spit is like acid."

"Duly noted," Diouf said, looking at the armor and shaking his head. "Laflamme, give the Commander your armor."

"No," Shepard said. "First off, his armor is too big for me and secondly … I need him to guard this place until we return."

"Yes, ma'am," Diouf said, wishing that he had a second set of armor for her.

"Joe," Shepard looked at Tali, "You will stay here with Corporal Laflamme and Private Satake."

"What?" Tali stood up. "Commander, I …"

"Tali," Shepard shook her head, "What did I say? If you came with us ... you would follow my direction."

"But, Commander," Tali started, as she began to wring her hands, "I can protect myself … You saw me fight in the entrance."

Shepard walked over to the quarian and put her arm over her shoulder, "Tali, I saw what you can do and I was impressed. But this isn't about my faith in your combat ability. I simply need you here just in case the power goes off again ... or if I need you to shut it down. No other reason."

"Yes, Commander," Tali said, sounding relieved.

Shepard gave the quarian a quick squeeze and then went to Diouf to discuss how they were going to approach Rift Station. They did not want to put all their eggs in one basket so they would split up. Shepard and her team would arrive by a main shuttle, or what they were calling the front door, while Diouf and his team would arrive by the service tunnel, or the back door. As they looked at the map of the station and reviewed their plan, the last team arrived.

"Commander," Kaidan said as he approached the meeting.

"Oh, Lieutenant," Shepard nodded and then seeing Liara behind him frowned. "Doctor, do you know what those bugs are?"

"Xenobiology is not my field," Liara answered, "But I do not believe that these species are from this planet. Maybe someone in the labs knows."

"That's probably why they are here," Shepard said. "The labs."

"We are ready," Diouf said, picking up one of the cases that Kaidan had brought.

"Be careful," Shepard told him. "God only knows what else we are going to run into down those tunnels."

"Like the geth and those bugs aren't enough," Garrus said, putting his rifle over her shoulder.

Shepard pulled Corporal Laflamme to the side as Diouf and his team headed for the service shuttle, "Corporal, if you see any shuttles coming be careful … it may contain asari commando."

"And if it's the Matriarch?" he asked. "Do I stop her?"

"No," Shepard said, knowing that him and the other two were no match against a Matriarch. "Your primary objective is to protect the quarian … her primary objective is to keep the power on or off as needed. If any shuttles do approach, have her cut the power to the tram only and radio me."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

"Tali?" Shepard looked over at the quarian who she knew was eavesdropping.

"I can shut down all the exit points," Tali said, realizing that she was caught, "uh, not that I was listening?"

"Of course not," Shepard smiled at her. "I never thought you were."

"Commander," Liara said as she began to remove her armor, "you cannot go further without protection."

"And neither can you," Shepard said through a tight jaw as she stopped her. "Don't take it off."

"Shepard," Liara shook her head as she began to undo her top, "I am biotic. If needed, I can use my barrier. You do not have this capability."

"No," Shepard said, her anger surfacing as she pulled her hands away. "You will keep this on, Liara! I can manage."

Liara watched Shepard storm away from her and looked at Kaidan who mouthed that it was okay as he raced towards Shepard, "Commander, Liara is right … you shouldn't be without armor."

"And she should?" Shepard glared at him. "Her barrier doesn't protect her from everything. If anyone goes in there unprotected it will not be her."

"But Commander," Kaidan pushed. "You are the leader … if we lose you …"

"Liara is a civilian and if anything happened to her ..." Shepard looked over at her, angry that she would risk her own safety and then picked up her damaged armor, "... shit! Besides, the insect spit seems to have lost its power, I'll wear mine."

"But Commander," Kaidan began to argue as Shepard carefully put on her damaged armor with the hole the size of a Texas pancake in it.

"Almost like new," Shepard joked, looking over at Kaidan. "Now, let's move out."

* * *

><p>As the team took their seats on the shuttle, Shepard stood across from Liara near the door. The shuttle jerked to life and Shepard swayed as she held on to a pole, wishing that she could stop this day. She thought of the massacre they had just left, the bodies of the BH employees found throughout the facility and wondered how worse it was going to be at Rift Station. As she pulled the prothean jewelry from its pouch and rubbed it with her thumb, she looked over at Ashley and thought of her instructions to her regarding Liara. "Daughter to daughter," she whispered to herself. The very thought of Liara being silenced, of being killed while trying to protect her own mother … it made Shepard feel sick to her stomach.<p>

As the shuttle raced toward Rift Station with the Matriarch's daughter onboard, it made Shepard curse herself for agreeing to bring her along. She should have said no. _What was I thinking? _she gripped the pole tighter. _Please, Liara_, Shepard looked at the asari who was focused on the window in front of her, _please don't give us cause … I don't think I could stand losing you this way. Not this way. _Shepard bowed her head and prayed, _My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word._

Liara could feel Shepard looking at her and wished that they were anywhere else but here. Yes, she wanted to see her mother. But not knowing the outcome scared her. If the Matriarch was with Saren and instructed her to harm the Commander, would she? Or could she stand by and let them hurt her mother? Liara began to touch the cross on her bracelet. _Please mother_, she prayed, _please do not ask me to hurt her … please do not ask me to betray her._ Liara looked over at Shepard who was now looking out at the window and wished that she had stayed behind. She knew that she had to be there, that her mother had to be doing this for the greater good, and that everything would turn out for the better … but another part of her knew it wouldn't. That they were heading into the darkness and she would not be able to stop what was about to happen. Liara knew that if they went against the Matriarch … Shepard would die. They would all die if her mother willed it. She knew the power of a Matriarch … and her mother was one of the strongest. She lowered her head, wanting to stop the shuttle and prayed, _Oh, Goddess, cease my agony and lighten my burden._

As the shuttle moved ever closer to Rift Station, Liara and Shepard finally looked into each other's eyes. No words were exchanged as the pastor's daughter looked into the eyes of the Matriarch's daughter. No words were needed or could express what they felt … Daughter to daughter.


	74. One Thing At A Time

Liara had hoped that Shepard would send Kaidan or Wrex with her to the quarantined lab, but the Commander had sent Chief Williams instead. It made her nervous to be alone with the Chief and when Liara had caught a look exchanged between Shepard and Williams before they parted ways … she was made even more nervous. _Focus on helping Dr. Cohen and his scientists_, Liara thought as she and Williams left the group and headed for the science lab.

The team had found Dr. Zev Cohen, a specialist in microbiology, acting as the emergency physician. He had stepped in to replace Dr. Saleh, who had died in the initial onslaught by the _bugs_, and they had found him tending to the injured to the best of his ability. He was also keeping the security personnel, or what was left of them, awake on stims because they were all that was left between the bugs bugs and the Binary Helix employees that had survived. Shepard could see how tired and on edge they were when they first approached Captian Ventralis and his blockade at the entrance.

"If they don't start sleeping soon," Shepard had told Kaidan, "they will be more dangerous than the bugs out there. Trust me, I've been there."

As they had moved further into Rift Station's upper level, they could see that these civilians were in shock, terrified and yet still tight-lipped. No one wanted to talk about what had happened just in case they survived. To speak was to become unemployed or worse ... Shepard wished they would open up but she did not push. They were all on the edge of insanity and looking at the bodies of their dead ... "Go easy on them," Shepard instructed her team. "They all have paid a heavy price being here."

"At least there are no children here," Kaidan said, looking at two dead salarian.

"But there are parents here," Shepard said. "Loved ones. Good people dead, whether young or old, is to be mourned."

"But are they good?" Ashley asked.

"Nothing is ever black and white," Shepard said. "We kill ... does that make us bad?"

"No," Ashley answered. "Or at least, I hope not."

"So do I," Shepard said. "Let's see if we can find someone to talk to us."

In the medical lab, Shepard and the team had found three sick scientists with Dr. Cohen and he had explained that his team had been working on a bio-weapon called Thoros-B and were infected. "The Thoros-B was originally designed to kill an exotic life-form_,_" he explained. A life-form that he said was just recently discovered out in the frontier. But then the focus on profits reared its ugly head and Dr. Cohen and his fellow scientists were assigned to begin looking at expanding its abilities. The new goal was to increase the net and have the toxin able to kill other species as well ... The toxin was highly infectious but not contagious; he assured them ... A bio-weapon that could be used in war without fear of a pandemic spread.

While Shepard could see potential of a bio-weapon that might limit casualties in the long-run, Liara's body language had told Shepard that she disapproved. Wanting to force her to speak her mind, Shepard asked, "Do you agree with him, doctor?"

"I agree that we need to help these people," Liara answered, not wanting to censure a fellow scientist in a room of laypeople or discuss asari ethics during this crisis. There was a time and place and Liara could see that this was not it. She looked at Dr. Cohen and wished that they were alone. With privacy; she would have questioned him on the Binary Helix research, their risk assessment, their practices and procedures. Based on his answers and her findings, she would then have shared her feedback as well as discuss how the BH science team had violated the Citadel Conventions regulations on the development of bio-weapons.

Dr. Cohen saw no hope of curing his three fellow scientists until Commander Shepard informed him that the asari had a degree in bioengineering from the Serrice University. At the mention of the prestigious asari university, Dr. Cohen believed that they might have a chance. He informed Dr. T'Soni that they had been working on a cure and before the power had shut down they had been close to synthesizing an antidote. He then asked if she could go to their lab where the notes and equipment were to complete the antidote.

Liara had agreed but Shepard worried that she might end up like those moaning around them. Dr. Cohen assured Shepard that the asari would not be at risk. That the lab would be perfectly safe for the asari and anyone else who might enter it. "The toxin has a brief period of viability," he had said. "After that it breaks down into simple protein chains."

"Shepard," Liara had said, "We cannot stand by and let these humans die … Let me look at the notes and see what the risk is." Shepard argued that she could get sick and she said she would be safe. Shepard argued that they were there for one thing only and she said that to leave them to die was unaccceptable.

"You aren't going to give up, are you?" Shepard almost laughed as the asari took a leather pouch from the doctor.

"No," Liara answered.

"Fine," Shepard shook her head as Liara and Ashley left the med clinic. Once they were out of the room, Shepard told Dr. Cohen, "If she gets sick because of this … her or my Chief ... I promise that you will suffer before you take your final breath."

Dr. Cohen could see the ice in the woman's eyes as she spoke and all he could do was nod.

Now as Liara began to pour through the notes on the antidote to the bio-toxin, Ashley began to move the bodies of the three dead scientists that were found when they entered. There were two small rooms located to the right of the lab with one a bathroom and the other for sleeping. Ashley placed the bodies in the room with the two beds and lockers. As she placed the third body on the floor next to the bed, his wallet fell out. She picked it up and opened it to see an image of the scientist with a female, presumably his wife, and two small girls. "Why are scientists so stupid?"

"Did you say something?" Liara asked … her eye to the microscope.

"I asked why you scientists always believe that you can play with fire," Ashley answered as she closed the door to the sleeper room, "Play with it and not get burned. I mean, creating a bio-weapon? Do you really believe that things like that never get out of control?"

"That is one of the reasons why the Citadel Conventions forbid bioweapons," Liara said, looking up at Ash. "This was enacted in 422 … maybe the _human _scientists were unaware?"

"You don't think your kind wasn't involved?" Ashley shook her head. "Please!"

"No," Liara answered, returning to the microscope, "I do not. Salarians would be the more logical alternative to humans creating a bio-weapon. They tend to try and push the boundaries within the areas of science as well." Liara looked up, typed into the datapad with the notes and before returning to the microscope, looked at Ashley and added, "Maybe it has to do with your short life-spans?"

"What the hell does that mean?" Ashley really hated the asari's way of looking down at her.

"Maybe we should not talk," Liara answered, eye still to the microscope. "This is beginning to become unpleasant."

"Because it was so pleasant earlier?" Ashley looked around the lab. "Just finish quick so we can get back to the team ... Doctor."

* * *

><p>"Stay here," Corporal Laflamme told Tali as the quarian moved farther into the air duct. "No matter what ... do not come out unless I say. And be quiet."<p>

The trio that had been left behind in Central Station had heard the roar of the razrs approaching in the tunnel and Laflamme knew that it was not anyone from their team. He also knew that they could not stop the razrs. A shuttle? Yes. Razrs? No. He also knew that the quarian was his responsibility and he did not want to let the Commander down. He had been told to protect her and he would … at all cost.

"What do we do?" Private Satake asked, checking his weapon.

"You go up there with her," Laflamme answered, stepping down from the seat.

"What?" Satake shook his head. "No way, Ordie. I can't leave you alone. Besides, I'm just a dumb talJok … I mean, ask Wrex! No man. You have a wife and kids. If anyone is expendable …"

"Al," Laflamme began pushing him towards the opening, "Someone has to stay with her. If anything happens to me … protect her."

"I do not need protection," Tali said as Satake began to crawl into the duct.

"See!" Satake argued. "The quarian doesn't need me."

"Tali!" she said, hating when the humans did not use her name. "My name is Tali!"

"Quiet!" Laflamme told the two, placing the cover back on the duct entrance. "I don't want either one of you coming out unless I say. Got it?"

"Got it!" They both answered.

"You have a weapon, right?" Satake whispered to her.

"This," Tali brought out the Alliance issue pistol that Shepard gave her … "oh, and this." Out came her quarian all-purpose knife.

"Good," Satake said, pulling out his own pistol and checking the chambers. "We might need both."

* * *

><p>"Rachni," Diouf said over the comm., "that's what this … uh …Yaka …"<p>

"Chief Science Officer Yaroslev Tartakovsky," Shepard heard a male voice in the background say.

"Uh," Diouf came back, "Yaro …"

"I get it," Shepard cut him off. "How is it possible? Rachni?"

"What?" Wrex came alive and looked at Shepard. "Those things are rachni?"

"He says that they found an egg," Diouf explained. "Found it in a derelict ship and like all good scientists, hatched it."

"Shit!" Shepard looked at Wrex, "How many? How many eggs?"

"One," Diouf answered. "But the egg held a queen."

"Of course," Shepard groaned. "It couldn't be a sickly and singular rachni. That would make it all too easy. And they say God doesn't have a sense of humor."

"How many?" Wrex asked, with Shepard holding up her hand.

"The nest is here in the hot labs," Diou said. "Below us … you won't believe how many are moving around. According to Yakore, they are not all here though … and the queen was moved to the main research lab closer to you."

"How do we kill these things?" Shepard asked. "I only have one krogan here … I'm not sure that he will be enough."

"Shepard," Wrex growled, "tell Diouf that I'm on my way."

"No," Shepard said, grabbing him by his arm. "Ed, they had to have had a back-up plan if the rachni could not be controlled."

Shepard heard muffled talk and then Diouf came back, "Yokoff says that if we activate their neutron purge it will kill everything within the hot labs down here."

"The risk?" Shepard asked, watching Wrex pace.

"Well, we would have to be clear of here," Diouf answered. "The hot labs would be one big radiation party."

"And Rift Station?" Shepard asked.

"It would be harmless to Rift Station," Diouf answered after confirming with the Chief Science Officer. "Something about the security design … insulations … depth of this lab … pulse … I need a drink."

"You and me both, brother," Shepard said. "Is the Matriarch down there?"

More muffled talk. "No," Diouf answered. "If she were … I doubt she would be alive. You should see the bodies. These creatures sliced through them, Commander. They make the geth look like amateurs. And your armor was just a hint at what their spit can do."

"I know," Shepard looked over at the stains of where employees had been slaughtered. "We need to make sure that these things don't get off Noveria."

"This Yak…" mumble "Yaroslev, sorry … says that these creatures are capable of space flight. That they are not animals but another intelligent species."

"Intelligent or not,"Shepard said, "we cannot let them live."

"They're intelligent?" Kaidan asked.

"They're dangerous," Wrex said.

"Agreed," Shepard looked at Wrex, "Ed ... get you, your team and that Yakka out of there."

"Okay, Shepard," Diouf said. "It will be slow, though. He is in bad shape."

"Do what you have to, Lt.," Shepard said. "Set it off and get the hell out of there."

"Yes, Commander," Diouf answered. "We'll see you in the main research lab ... this Queen needs to be disposed of as well."

"Let's go speak with Captain Ventralis about the security around the research lab," Shepard said to Wrex and Kaidan.

"Do you think that the Matriarch is also there?" Kaidan asked.

"Let's hope so," Shepard answered, "I'm tired of running around feeling blind."

* * *

><p>"Can you see him?" Tali whispered, as Satake watched Laflamme stand at the edge of the platform as the razrs drew closer.<p>

"Shhhh," he shushed her just as he heard Laflamme identify himself.

"I am Corporal Orden Laflamme," he called out. "I am here with an agent of the Council. Please identify yourself."

Satake moved closer to the grill just as he heard a zip and then saw the Corporal's neck snap back as a bullet ripped through it. "Oh, shit!"

"What was that?" Tali asked, hearing the blast and grunt from Laflamme.

The visitors pulled up to the platform and Satake watched as an asari began to curse at the geth for killing the human.

"Now we cannot question him," the asari said.

"That is okay," the other asari said, pulling herself up onto the platform, "I can smell the stink of humans."

"Oh, double shit!" Satake choked, smelling his hand. "She is gonna smell me, Tali. Hide my smell!"

Tali quickly crawled on top of him, leaving almost no room between them and the walls of the duct, "Get behind me."

"What?" Satake struggled to crawl from underneath her but they were stuck. "I can't move."

Tali began to wiggle and as she tried to stretch out she hit the cover to the exit and time seemed to slow down to a crawl as she watched it slip from view and hit the ground. Both Tali and Satake caught their breath as they heard the asari and geth began to move towards them.

"Was that us?" he whispered.

"Yes," Tali whispered back.

"Move, move," Satake whispered in a panic as both started to crawl away from the opening towards the tee that would block them from view. Like Siamese twins joined at the stomach they wiggled away as the light in the tunnel was suddenly blocked by the head of an asari.

"I can smell you," the asari whispered to them. "Come out and I will not hurt you."

"Oh, shit!" Satake cried out, "Move, Tali! She is smelling me!"

* * *

><p>"The Matriarch was happy to hear that you were here," Alestia Iallis said to Liara.<p>

"You know where the Matriarch is?" Liara asked, glad that Williams had been in the bathroom when Alestia entered with two geth.

"She asked me to watch you," Alestia answered, "and should the opportunity arise, come to you in private about bringing you to her. And here you are … alone in this lab. Or are you?"

"Yes," Liara saw Ashley slowly open the door and peek out. "I am alone."

"Tsk, tsk," Alestia looked over at where Ashley was hiding, "I should feel hurt … or insulted. All the years that we spent together and here you would lie to me for a human. Liara! Little! What will the Matriarch say when I tell her that you were not honest? That you put these short-lived species before us … Before Thessia?"

"Alestia," Liara said, moving closer to her, "no one needs to get hurt. Take me to mother. Commander Shepard is here to help."

"Commander Shepard?" Alestia looked back at Liara. "The Matriarch says that you have shared your touch with her … Your pleasures. This can be used."

_What?_ Did Ashley hear right? _No. _The Commander would never be with Liara._ Would she?_

"Take me to mother," Liara demanded, hoping to get the focus off Ashley.

"Once this human is …" Alestia started as Ashley opened the door and jammed her rifle into the geth closest to her and pulled the trigger.

Alestia, using her biotics, slammed Ashley back onto the toilet as Liara grabbed Ashley's rifle that had slid towards her and shot the other geth.

"Liara!" Ashley yelled as Alestia, hearing the shot, turned back towards Liara.

"Please Alestia," Liara begged, holding the rifle at her now. "You do not want to do this. Leave the human and we can go see the Matriarch. Together."

Ashley pulled herself off the toilet and using the asari's attention on Liara moved up behind her and placed her in a choke hold. "You're not going anywhere, bitch." Ashley held tight, wanting to knock the asari out so Shepard could interrogate her when she returned.

Liara watched as the human soldier choked one of her mother's acolytes ... Someone that she had known for over a century. Alestia began to smile at Liara, despite her lack of oxygen, and then her eyes started to turn black. Liara knew that Alestia was going to force herself into the human and would then start to tear into Ashley's mind.

"No," Liara said, as she pulled a scalpel from the table and shoving Ashley away … "Find peace in the embrace of the Goddess," she said as she slit the asari's throat open.

"Why did you do that?" Ashley yelled as she got up from the ground where she had fell after slamming into the wall. "I had her!"

Liara looked at Ashley and then returned to the table … to the antidote … to the task at hand … as she fought back her grief. She had killed another acolyte … another friend … how many more would she kill today? She knew the Matriarch was there … she could feel her presence. But first, she had to complete this cure. _One thing at a time_, she told herself.

* * *

><p>"One thing at a time," Tali said, as she helped the wounded soldier out of the air duct.<p>

The two had struggled to make it to the tee in the air duct before the asari crawled in after them and once there, Satake pulled out his pistol and waited. The minutes felt like hours as they waited … waited … waited.

"Where is she?" Tali whispered, peeking over his shoulder.

And then as if the asari was waiting for an invite, she peered around the corner. Tali began to scramble away and in her panic, Satake was pushed and his pistol went off. The bullet hit the wall; he swore and then watched as the asari's head fell motionless. "What the …?"

"Did you hit her?" Tali stopped, her legs frozen.

The bullet had ricocheted and hit the target, "Yeah, yeah, I did. Holy shit! I did!"

"Al!" Tali cried out, bringing him back to reality as more movement was heard behind the asari.

Satake began to crawl backwards on his butt as a geth crawled over the asari and turned towards them. Tali screamed as Satake grabbed his pistol and shot again. The geth's head bounced back and now the tunnel was blocked by the two. "That should keep the others away," Satake said, giving a small panicky laugh.

"Good," Tali said just before the bodies were pulled from view, which caused both Tali and Satake to scream together. They then began to crawl as fast as they could to get away when Satake heard a shot, then felt a dull throb in his left cheek and for a quick second thought he might have bruised it.

"Tali?" he cried out as he stopped crawling, "I think I'm shot!"

Tali looked at him, motionless and crawled back as she saw another geth heading towards them. She cursed at the geth as she took her pistol out, crawled partially on top of Satake, aimed and stopped it dead in its track. She then looked at Satake's behind below her and confirmed that he had been shot by the geth. "It's dead."

"I'm shot, aren't I?" he whimpered. "And in the ass! Why in the ass?"

"Better than the head," Tali whispered as she began to crawl back towards the way they came in.

"What are you doing?" Satake tried to look back at her but winced as his ass stopped him from moving.

"Shhh," Tali told him to be quiet. She knew that there was one asari left and so she slid over Satake, crawled back to the tee and with her feet in front … waited. She knew that it was only a matter of time. As Satake could be heard moaning, Tali could also hear the breathing of the asari crawling in the duct and as the fringe came into view, Tali kicked. She kicked again and again and again and again … she kicked until she could no longer tell what shape the head had originally started in.

* * *

><p>"She slit her throat!" Ashley was telling Shepard, "I had her and the asari just pushed me out of the way and slit her throat! We could have used her to find out just what the Matriarch's plans are … but she … she …"<p>

"Slit her throat," Shepard looked at the body of the asari that she had questioned just hours earlier. "I heard you, Ash." Shepard looked at Liara who was calm and packing up the antidote to take to Dr. Cohen. "Everyone leave."

"Commander," Ashley grabbed her arm, "I don't think you should be alone with her."

Shepard told Ashley it would be okay as she motioned for everyone to wait outside. As the lab emptied, Shepard shut the door, locked it and looked down at the dead asari again … her throat cut open and her blood everywhere. Shepard walked over to Liara and taking the leather pouch with the antidote out of her hand and placing it back on the table, asked, "Why did you kill her?"

"Shepard," Liara tried to move away from her. "I do not want to talk about it."

"But I do," Shepard almost growled as she grabbed Liara by the arms, "Ash had her … why did you kill her?"

"She was going to hurt Chief Williams," Liara answered, starting to struggle slightly against Shepard's hold.

Shepard gripped Liara's arms tighter and pulled her closer, "She could have handled it! Why did you take a risk like that?"

"To protect you," Liara answered, no longer struggling and then looked into Shepard's eyes as she added, "Alestia was going to kill her and then you ... I had to protect you."

"Dammit!" Shepard grit her teeth as she loosened her grip and then unexpectedly hugged Liara tight. "Every part of me says not to trust you but I can't stop worrying about you. Please stop taking risks. Ash may have thought you were going to hurt her and … and … just don't do anything out of line again. Don't do anything that may look like you are going to hurt any of us. I'm trying to protect you … please, Liara."

Liara pulled away from Shepard and touched her lips with her fingers, "I wish that we could leave now, Shepard. Leave mother here and just go away … I would do anything to protect you, but mother may … you cannot win against her, Shepard."

Shepard stepped back and looked at Liara. It was true and Shepard knew it. She had no hope in defeating an asari Matriarch. Even Wrex had told her that their chances were slim. Wrex! Shepard looked at Liara and wanted to just pack up her toys, pals and leave with the asari. To do as Liara suggested. "No," Shepard knew that to do so could be the fall of humanity … the fall of the galaxy. So she shut her heart, her mind and said, "I have a mission, Dr. T'Soni."

"Of course," Liara reached down and picked up the antidote. "As do I."

Shepard watched as Liara walked away from her, the antidote in her hand and knew that there was almost no chance that they would survive if the Matriarch fought them. That she and her team were walking into certain death. That this was a suicide mission. But there was no turning back … for any of them.

* * *

><p>"Is this the right direction?" Grenado asked, looking at the ice on the walls.<p>

"Yes," Diouf answered, pulling up the Rift Station map on his omni-tool.

"Wait!" Garrus said, moving slowly to the wall and once against it peeked around to where the maintenance door to the main research lab was.

"More of those damn bugs?" Grenado whispered to Diouf.

They had been battling rachni since the hot labs and all three had spit marks and gashes to prove it. The Chief Science Officer Yaroslev Tartakovsky had received a tail to the chest that had caused all three to scream before they began to beat the rachni to death with the butt of their rifles. When they were done they had laughed almost to the point of crying at how they had panicked together and not one of them had actually fired their weapon. Just butts to the rachni's head.

"But it is still dead," Garrus said through his nervous laughter.

The purge had gone off without a hitch … if you overlooked the countless rachni that had tried to follow them into the only working elevator. Between the three they had shot, kicked, bit … which Garrus quickly learned was unadvisable as the blood made him gag … and spit at the bugs to get away. All three had felt as if they were losing their minds as they fought to stay alive.

"What is it?" Diouf asked, sliding behind Garrus.

"Commando," Garrus answered, looking over his shoulder at Diouf. "Two."

"Merde!" Diouf waved Grenado over, "Commando."

"What do we do?" Grenado asked, rubbing on her bandaged arm.

"Do what we do the best," Diouf answered.

"Panic?" Grenado said, half-jokingly. "Or beat them to death with out rifles without wasting bullets?"

"Funny," Diouf smiled as he pulled out a stun grenade. "We take them out quick and silent … we don't want whatever is behind that door knowing we are coming."

"You got it," Grenado said as her and Garrus added bayonets to their rifles. "Just give us the count."

Diouf took Garrus' place and holding out two stun grenades began the count down to their next dance. They had one chance to put the two asari down quickly … and to do it quietly.

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" Tali asked, even though she knew he was barely hanging on.<p>

"I'm okay," Satake fought puking as they raced through the tunnel towards Rift Station on the razr. Satake was behind Tali on the motorcycle clinging to her waist as he felt the world swaying.

"I hope that the Commander won't be mad that we left Central Station," Tali hollered over the sound of the engine bouncing off the tunnel walls.

"Will we be there soon?" Satake mumbled, leaning to the left. "I'm not sure that I can keep holding on … I feel sick."

"Soon," Tali answered. "Hang on, Al … we are almost there."

"Promise?" he asked, weakly.

"Promise!" Tali answered, pushing the razr harder.


	75. Good Night, Little Wing

As Shepard and her team approached the entrance to the main research lab, there stood Captain Ventralis with four of his security team and two assault drones on each side. This was not what Shepard wanted ... to fight the ERS team. It also did not help that she had grown to like and even respect the head of security. He had led his team to secure the station and protect the civilians for over a week instead of taking his team and escaping. Given that all of his team stayed instead of running, showed her that he was not only a strong leader but that his staff also respected him.

"I don't like this," Ashley said to Shepard, sliding her rifle off her back.

"Just stay calm, Chief," Shepard said, "These are people in a tough situation."

"Be on your guard," Kaidan whispered to Liara which angered Shepard.

"Dr. T'Soni is here as an observer only," Shepard said to Kaidan. "Nothing more."

"Forgive me, Commander," Kaidan began to apologize. "I just thought …"

"Commander Shepard," Captain Ventralis interrupted the conversation, "I heard that there was a situation in the science lab … and that one of my staff was killed."

"I'm sorry," Shepard offered, "It was that asari named Alestia. She was after Dr. T'Soni and Chief Williams."

"Dr. Iallis?" Ventralis seemed shocked, "Why would she have attacked anyone? Hell, she seemed like the most stable of us here."

"She was a huntress," Liara said, "pledged to the Matriarch Benezia."

"Lady Benezia?" Ventralis shook his head. "That's why we are here. Her assistant, Zenaida, gave the order that no one was to enter the lab. No one. And if anyone tried we were authorized to use force … deadly force, if necessary."

"The asari had geth with her," Ashley said. "Do you take orders from someone with the geth? Or are you also working with the flashlight heads?"

"Geth?" Ventralis looked at one of his guards and then back to Shepard, "I didn't know. God's honest truth … and a huntress? I thought Dr. Iallis was just another egghead. Son-of-a-bitch!"

"Captain," Shepard stepped closer, "Is the Matriarch in there?"

Ventralis nodded, "But I can't let you in. Orders. The Lady Benezia is one of our executives and a major shareholder … It would be my job."

"Your job?" Ashley spit, "Why you son-of-a …"

"Chief Williams!" Shepard gave a quick ice cold stare at Ashley.

"Sorry, ma'am," Ashley stepped back.

Shepard gave a small sigh and turned her attention back to the Captain, "I really need to speak with her, Captain."

"Look," Ventralis leaned in to Shepard, lowering his voice. "That asari went in there over three days ago … A few of her associates have went in and out but for the most part she has been in there alone. If any of those things made their way in … I don't see what one person could do. She's probably not even alive."

Liara moved closer to Shepard and touched her arm, "A Matriarch has the skill to keep herself alive for a long time."

"Maybe," Ventralis said, looking at Liara as he stepped back.

"Captain," Shepard said, "I can't leave until I see the Matriarch … Please don't make me fight you to get through that door. Haven't your people been through enough?"

Ventralis looked at his four guards who had been fighting for over a week and knew that had it not been for the Commander and her team they would most likely be dead. It was her team that had helped defeat yet another attack against them, restored their power, purged the hot labs of the bulk of the bugs and had even given his staff hope. Many of them were ex-military and having the hero of the Blitz fighting with them … how could they lose? Even he had felt it when she walked through the door. He had read of her heroic efforts on Elysium in the book, _186 Hours_, titled after how long she had went without sleep … while also owning and watching the vid, _The Bell Tower of the Blitz_, at least twenty times. He was not going to raise a weapon against her and he nodded at his men, "Stand down … let the Commander pass."

His staff looked relieved as Shepard thanked their Captain, "Once we are done here we will return to help you flush out the rest of the rachni."

"Thank you, Commander," Ventralis said, waving his men to follow him as he returned to their barricade.

"Shepard," Wrex walked away from the others.

"Yes?" She asked, following him out of hearing range of the others.

"Once we are in there," he advised, "do not try and fight the asari hand to hand."

"Wasn't my plan," Shepard said, moving closer, "but why?"

Wrex looked at the human and knew that there was so much her species did not know about their neighbors, "It would be suicide. The asari have abilities of the mind that can be fatal to others."

Shepard looked at Ashley, "So a chokehold wouldn't be wise?"

"It would be stupid," Wrex told her. "And probably your last move."

Shepard looked at Liara and shook her head, "We must seem like children to you and Liara … ignorant and ill-equipped."

"She is taken by you," Wrex told Shepard. "But she is bound to her mother. Do not make her choose, Shepard. You will lose."

"And the Matriarch?" Shepard turned away from Liara. "If we battle her?"

Wrex knew that Matriarchs were powerful and he remembered how one asari he knew named Aleena would refuse to take contracts on them. A rule that she shared with him, _to willingly go into a battle against a Matriarch or Justicar is insanity … and suicide_. Now here he was about to do just that with the pup. "Shepard, let's hope that having her daughter stops us from that."

"If not?" Shepard pushed him.

"I have seen you survive things," Wrex said, touching her damaged armor, "that others would have had no chance surviving."

"You didn't answer my question," Shepard said, "What are our odds?"

Wrex shifted, looked over at Liara and simply said, "All of our hopes lie with that maiden, Shepard."

* * *

><p>"Help!" Tali said as she and Pvt. Satake fell out of the elevator. "My friend is hurt!"<p>

"Who are you?" One of the security personnel asked.

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," she answered, helping up Satake.

"And I'm Serviceman Alcot Satake of the Systems Alliance," he said, arm draped over Tali's shoulder. "I need to see Commander Shepard."

"You need to see a doctor," Captain Ventralis said, as he entered the room.

"No," Tali argued. "We need to tell her about Corporal Laflamme … he is dead!"

"And looking at your companion," Ventralis said, "so will he if we don't get him to Dr. Cohen."

Tali looked at Satake who was pale and barely standing and knew that the human was right. He needed to see a doctor or he wouldn't survive. As they followed a security guard to the med lab, Satake argued that they needed to see the Commander but Tali agreed with the Captain, "First, we get you taken care of and then the Commander. We can't help her if you are bleeding everywhere."

"Or passing out?" Satake tried to joke.

"Or throwing up," Tali added. "That razr will never be touched again … by anyone."

"Or the back of your suit," Satake mumbled.

"What?" Tali asked, hoping that she had misunderstood him.

* * *

><p><em>So she really does exist<em>, Shepard thought as she looked up at the Matriarch and then around the lab. There were a few asari commandos in the far right corner and two behind the Matriarch up on the main platform. _Five total?_ She counted and hoped. Wrex put himself between Shepard and the three in the corner and hoped that these were the only ones as well. Kaidan joined him as Ashley kept just behind and to the left of Liara … Both Wrex and Kaidan quickly realized who Ashley was watching.

"Excuse me," Shepard said, stopping at the foot of the stairs leading up to the Matriarch. "I am Commander Shepard, agent to the Citadel Council. I have come to speak with the Matriarch Benezia as directed by Councilor Tevos."

"One has to wonder what you know that has Ciara Tevos sending you to your death," the Matriarch said, looking down at Shepard. "Or did she think that I would be moved by sympathy?"

"Mother," Liara moved forward.

"Silence, daughter," the Matriarch said. "Coming here … to this confrontation ... Were you promised absolution if you tried to use your position as my daughter?"

"Liara's here because she chose to be," Shepard said, "She wants this to be resolved peacefully … as do I."

"You chose to be here?" the Matriarch smiled at her offspring. "Knowing what would be the outcome if I were challenged? I was always told that I should be more strict with you … I am beginning to understand why."

"Liara just wants to help," Shepard said. "She told me how you were a teacher of peace … and she wanted to be given the chance to speak with you."

"She told you about me?" the Matriarch smiled at Shepard and then looked at her daughter, "And what else did you tell her about me, Liara?"

"Tell her?" Liara remembered the vial, the promise to speak with the Commander, the betrayal and stepped in front of Shepard. "What could I say, mother? That you are now insane? That you are evil?"

"Do you think that?" the Matriarch asked. "And if you believe that … what else did you tell her?"

Liara saw the coldness in her mother's eyes and it angered her. The warmth that should have been there … the spirit of all that was good … they were no longer a part of her mother … Liara feeling hopeless almost cried, "Should I have explained how to kill you?"

"You are still a child," the Matriarch's voice growing colder, "How does one kill a Matriarch, Liara? Do you know? Shall you share your wisdom?"

"How?" Liara looked back at Shepard, "I … I …" she then turned back to her mother, "If there was a way … it is not mine to know yet. But if I did know … I would have gladly handed that knowledge to the Commander."

"You would betray your mother?" Zenaida finally spoke. "You would allow another to put out the light that is the Matriarch Benezia?"

"My mother?" Liara choked. "My mother … Matriarch Benezia … would not want this aberration to continue rotting in her body! My mother is not in this room!"

"Commander," the Matriarch turned her attention back to the human. "I have to wonder what power lies in your bed to turn my daughter. Tell me, as she slid inside you what promises did you make? What tales did you weave to blind her?"

Shepard looked at Liara and took a deep breath, "I don't know what you are talking about … this is about you."

"And that makes it about her," the Matriarch said. "Liara knows that my death is hers. That without me … she would be lost in despair … a maiden without a mother has no hope. Would you condemn your lover to that?"

Shepard moved around Liara and with one foot on the lowest step said, "Matriarch, we don't need to be at odds … All I want is to find Saren."

At the sound of his name, Shepard heard his name whispered by all the asari in the room as if she had just turned the key to Pandora's Box. The Matriarch stepped back as she asked her, "Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have."

"No, mother!" Liara cried out as she pulled Shepard behind her and threw up a barrier between them and the Matriarch.

* * *

><p>The bridge was dimmed as Gary Wright was heard singing <em>Dream Weaver<em>. Joker was sitting in his seat, eyes closed as Engineer Helen Lowe tapped her fingers on a console and Flight Officer Talitha Draven sat monitoring comm. traffic. The three had spent almost all their time on the bridge as they waited for any communication from their team on Peak 15.

"Still nothing?" Pressly asked as he entered their area.

"No, sir," Lowe answered.

"They are probably up there drinking Irish coffee," Joker said, raising his cap to look at Pressly. "Stop worrying."

Pressly watched as Joker put the cap back over his face as he slumped even farther down in his chair.

"If I hear anything, sir," Draven said, "I will notify you."

"Fourteen hours," Pressly said, noting how long it had been seen speaking to any of the team. "I'll have Lt. Freedman put together a team just in case … the Commander may need backup."

"What?" Joker lifted his cap, "The Commander don't need no stinkin' backup!"

"Joker!" Draven frowned. "Stop joking around … Pressly's right. Fourteen hours since we received any communication from Peak 15 is not standard."

"And that was Lt. Diouf," Lowe added. "I'm worried!"

"The Commander is fine," Joker told them. "Stop being old women just because she hasn't phoned home. She'll call … once she is finished partying up there ... she'll call!"

* * *

><p>"Don't look down," Shepard told herself as she hung from the railing. She wasn't quite sure how she had found herself hanging from the top platform railing … okay, she knew. It was with the help … rough aggressive non-friendly help … of an asari commando who had intended for her to fall the thirty-four feet below. Shepard hated biotics and here was another reason why! But she had grabbed the asari attacking her and now that asari was lying dead at the bottom. Not from the fall but from a bullet to the head. She would have kissed her gun but it was also down there with the asari. <em>Fumbled like a football<em>, she thought as she started to pull herself up.

As Shepard raised herself up she jerked ... the Rachni Queen was moving towards her as the Matriarch was focused on the console in front of it. As the battle swirled around Shepard and the Matriarch they were each focused elsewhere ... The Matriarch on the Queen and Shepard on the Matriarch. "Your children were to be ours," Shepard heard the Matriarch say as she began to work at the console. "We would have raised them to hunt and slay Saren's enemies … your children part of the glory. But now …" Yellow lights above the tank began to flash as an alarm began to sound. "… now your usefulness is at an end. As is your life."

Shepard, half-way over the railing, pulled out her knife and just as she had placed her feet on the ground, she felt her body rise up and … stop. She was hanging mid-air as the Matriarch turned to face her_. This cannot be good_, Shepard thought as the Matriarch moved towards her. _Dear God, this cannot be good!_

At a foot taller than Shepard, the Matriarch lowered the Commander so that her face was just a few inches higher than the Matriarch's. "What do we have here?" the Matriarch asked, as she pulled the knife from Shepard's hand. "Did you really think that you could harm me with this?"

"Give it back and let's see," Shepard challenged her.

"Your insolence is a poor mask for fear," the Matriarch said, as she tossed the knife away from them. "Maybe I need to show you why we inspire both admiration and respect."

"Because you pick on those weaker?" Shepard asked, swinging her feet but going nowhere.

"Mother!" Liara raced towards her. "Please!"

"Stop!" the Matriarch commanded and Liara fell to her knees. "And you too, krogan!"

Wrex had fought his way around the platform and had just made it to the top when the Matriarch looked at him … her eyes turning black for just a second to warn him. Wrex looked away knowing that he was powerless. There was only one person in that room that could stop her and she was now on her knees, head bowed and crying.

"Benezia!" Shepard hollered, intentionally using her first name. "Why don't you focus on me?"

"Focus on you?" the Matriarch gave a laugh. "You have lost, Shepard. Saren is unstoppable."

"No he's not," Shepard angrily responded. "If you would just open your eyes and see how you have been misled!"

"My mind is clear," the Matriarch said. "My mind is … filled with his light. Everything is … it is … clear."

"Mother!" Liara cried out, finally looking up at her. "Please mother!"

"Liara?" the Matriarch seemed to stumble. "No! I will not betray him! You will … you will … not …"

Liara reached out and grabbed Shepard's knife on the floor to the side of her. "You were my light," Liara said as she began to point the blade at her own heart. "I cannot live without your grace, mother ... without your kindness and love."

"Liara!" the Matriarch screamed as Shepard fell to the ground.

Liara looked up, tears in her eyes, blood on the tip of the blade, "Mother?"

The Matriarch's eyes turned black as she reached out to the asari in the room ... there was only one way to show her daughter that it was her. She had to silence those who would do her daughter harm. As Shepard looked at Liara, afraid that she would push the knife in further, the Matriarch began to rip the minds of the asari still fighting.

Ashley was standing in front of Grenado and Diouf, both of whom were injured, after killing the asari who had fought them and was now fighting another. As the asari began to pull Ashley towards her, the Chief tried hanging on to the railing until the commando froze just before her eyes went black and she began to scream. Garrus was behind Kaidan who had created a barrier for protection but he could not hold it any longer. As it fell, the asari that they were battling went black and began to scream as well … scream until all of them dropped dead.

"What are you doing?" Zenaida hissed, just before the same thing happened to her and she fell silent next to Wrex.

"What just happened?" Garrus asked, as both he and Kaidan looked up where the Matriarch was.

Benezia kneeled down next to her daughter, "What have you done to yourself, Liara?"

"Mother?" Liara looked up and touched her cheek. "Is that really you?"

"Yes," Benezia whispered as she kissed her daughter's lips and began to check her daughter's wound. "Commander?"

"Matriarch?" Shepard slowly stood up, confused.

"You must listen," she said, still looking at her daughter. "Saren still whispers in my mind … the corruption trying to return ... we do not have long."

"Shepard," Wrex looked at the Matriarch with distrust, "careful."

"He is right," the Matriarch said. "The darkness is even now trying to swallow me … the part of me that has been sealed away for so long weak and … dying."

"No, mother," Liara said, placing her head against her mother's neck.

"I have knowledge to give you," the Matriarch said to Shepard, as she kissed her daughter's cheek. "But it will require you to let me in."

"What?" Shepard looked at Wrex, scared.

"I will not hurt you," the Matriarch said.

"Just tell me," Shepard said, moving closer to Wrex.

"There is too much that I must share," the Matriarch said, "and very little time."

"Why not give it to Liara?" Ashley said, limping up next to Wrex.

"No!" Shepard could see that Liara was weak and would not risk her being hurt even more.

The Matriarch smiled at the human's protectiveness over her daughter, "Breathe, Commander."

There were no fancy words or touching of hands with the Matriarch. These things were done by the maidens and matrons of their kind. Matriarchs no longer needed to prep the receiver … instead Shepard heard her mother singing and playing _In The Garden_. What seemed minutes was only seconds as the Matriarch used one of Shepard's memories to put her at ease as she entered.

"She was beautiful," Benezia said, now in a long yellow dress, and her own eyes a beautiful blue.

"She was," Elizabeth smiled as she looked at Hannah Shepard singing while playing the piano.

"Is this your childhood home?" Benezia asked as she touched the fireplace mantel.

"Yes," Elizabeth looked around to see her dad reading _To Kill A Mockingbird_ as he sat in his favorite chair. "How did you do this? How did you make them appear? And here in my home?"

"I just looked for your love," Benezia smiled. "And you have so much of it … even for my daughter."

Elizabeth saw a very young Liara appear and she was giggling as she ran around Benezia, "Is that Liara?"

"Yes," Benezia smiled. "She is very sensitive but hides it … do not hurt her, Elizabeth Shepard."

"Of course not," Elizabeth said as she bent down and took the small asari's hands. "Hi … do you know who I am?"

Liara shook her head no as she slowly faded, "You must listen to me, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth heard … or really felt? It was hard to put into words really how she was receiving the information. But Benezia was telling her about Saren ... about his power of indoctrination. "People lose who they are ... he takes over. You begin to worship him. To idolize him. You would do anything for him."

"How does he do it?" Elizabeth wanted to know as she looked over at her mother who was now playing _Jesus Loves Me_ as a teenage Liara stood behind her and smiled at her.

"The key is Sovereign … It is a dreadnought of incredible size and its power is extraordinary." Benezia went on to explain that the ship was not geth technology and that the longer you stayed on it the more you became corrupted. An image appeared behind Benezia of the ship as she looked at her own daughter. "She is beautiful."

"Both are," Elizabeth smiled. "My mother would have liked her."

"Would she have approved of your desire?" Benezia asked.

"My desire?" Elizabeth looked at Benezia.

Benezia smiled at Elizabeth as Liara appeared fully grown and wearing only a sheer skirt. "I assumed you desired her … or why is she here inside you … like this?"

Elizabeth looked at Liara and frowned, "Can we discuss what you are here for?"

It was then that Benezia told Elizabeth about a relay that had been lost thousands of years prior … the Mu Relay. Its location had been discovered by the rachni and as Queens shared their memories, the one in the tank had carried that information and it was taken by the rotting part of Benezia.

"And this relay is important?" Elizabeth asked as she continued to look at the older and semi-clad Liara dancing off in the distance as Hannah played _He Knows Just What I Need_. As Benezia spoke, Elizabeth looked away from Liara and to her mother. _I'm so glad that this isn't real or wow! Mom you would be so upset at what I am thinking … and with you in the room!_

"As well as Liara's mother," Benezia smiled. "Shall I also wait?"

"Sorry," Elizabeth said, turning her body so she could no longer see Liara. "I'm not usually this … inconsiderate or disrespectful. It's just her dancing … it's, well … shall we go on?"

"No need to apologize," Benezia smiled. "Our minds are not a place we typically censor."

"Or have company," Elizabeth smiled, sitting next to her mother on the piano bench.

"Saren believes that this Mu Relay will lead him to the conduit," Benezia continued, as the relay's coordinates appeared behind her.

As Elizabeth looked over at it she told Benezia that knowing where the relay was did not help unless she knew where they were actually going. "Do you know how many years I could go without ever finding what he is looking for?"

"I am sorry, Elizabeth," Benezia said as a vision of her and another asari appeared before a huge fountain. "Saren would not tell me his destination." Benezia walked over to the vision and ran her hand down the other asari. "Tati, my sister."

"Sibila's mother?" Elizabeth stood up and looked at her.

Benezia nodded and turned away, "I forwarded these coordinates to him before you entered."

"Of course you did," Elizabeth frowned as she kissed Hannah on the cheek and then went over to her father. "Hey pops," she said, kissing him as well. "And now I must?"

"You must promise me three things," Benezia said as she bent down and clapped at the young Liara.

Elizabeth saw the young Liara run into Benezia's arms as she said, "Depends on what you want, Benezia."

"Cautious?" Benezia smiled as she hugged her daughter.

"Very," Elizabeth answered, sitting on the arm of her father's chair.

"First," Benezia said, "I have set off the tank to kill the rachni … free her."

"So she can repeat their history?" Elizabeth shook her head. "No. I cannot risk history repeating itself … I just can't."

"You won't," Benezia said, "I will share her beauty with you before I leave so you will understand … which comes to the second thing. I need you to let go and let me touch you."

"No means no," Elizabeth said. "I didn't let you in for that."

Benezia laughed and Shepard heard music from it, "Not that kind of touch. I need to leave you with information that will open as needed … but it will hurt because of the need to give it quickly."

"I don't know," Elizabeth said, even though she could feel no danger in Benezia. "The third thing?"

"Once we have separated," Benezia said, "you must kill me."

"What?" Elizabeth stood up as her house rocked.

"You have to stop me," Benezia said. "His teeth are at my ear … his fingers at my spine."

"Liara won't understand," Shepard said. "You can't ask this of me."

"I will kill all of you if you do not," Benezia warned. "I will kill Liara."

* * *

><p>"How long has it been?" Ashley asked as the Matriarch and the Commander were silent.<p>

Kaidan looked at the time, "Only a few minutes."

"What should we do?" Ashley asked, keeping her weapon in the direction of the two asari.

"For starters," Kaidan said, "We need to get Ed and Carol to the doctor. They don't look good."

"And you do?" Garrus asked, pointing to the deep gash in Kaidan's hip.

"We need stretchers," Ashley said.

"I'll go get help," Garrus volunteered. "After what Dr. T'Soni did for them they should be happy to help us."

"Yeah," Ashley looked at Liara hugging her mother.

* * *

><p>It had hurt … Benezia was not lying. Elizabeth caught flashes of things but it was all too fast and just too much to even try to process. As Benezia pulled away from her, she reminded Elizabeth of her promise … <em>If you do not kill me, you will all die<em>.

"Mother?" Liara could be heard to say as the Matriarch returned to the present.

"I was not myself," the Matriarch said as she looked over at Shepard, "but I should have been stronger." The Matriarch then looked at her daughter and in old Armali said, "_Do not hate her for what she is about to do. I asked her to end my suffering._"

"Shepard?" Liara looked up at the Commander. "Shepard?"

Shepard moved towards them as the Matriarch said, "Let me go, Liara."

"No!" Liara cried as Shepard took back her knife.

"You have to stop … me," The Matriarch said, pushing away from her daughter as she looked at Shepard. "I can feel the corruption taking control … swallowing me up. I cannot return to beating against the glass as I destroy all that is precious. Please end my suffering."

"Mother!" Liara cried out. "Please! Do not leave me! Fight it! Fight him!"

The Matriarch took Shepard's hand with the knife and before bringing it to her chest said to her daughter, "You have always made me proud, Liara."

"Shepard!" Liara cried out as the knife entered her mother. "Please Shepard! Please do not kill my mother!"

Shepard, still clutching her knife, moved away from the Matriarch as Liara began to cradle her dying mother, "No tears … I am at peace."

"_I am alone_," Liara cried in their tongue. _"You are leaving me alone._"

"_Not alone_," the Matriarch promised. "_I will always be a part of you … you will always be a part of me. Good night, Little Wing ... I will see you again with the dawn. I will …_"


	76. The Matriarch Is Dead

"Rachni?" Councilor Valern looked up from Shepard's report. "They found rachni?"

"Fools!" Councilor Sparatus said, "Domitia, contact the board of Binary Helix and inform them that they are to send a representative to meet with us at once."

"Yes, sir," Domitia bowed her head slightly and left the Council's conference room.

"According to Shepard's report," Valern noted, "all but the queen was destroyed."

"The greatest threat in our history …" Sparatus began.

"The greatest threat to the galaxy," Valern interrupted. "… and they hatch it."

"And Shepard let it escape," Sparatus dropped the report on the table and pushed it away.

"Rachni," Valern repeated as he began to pull up information on the species. "Could it survive the cold climate of Noveria? It did after all escape the … oh, what did she write? Tank? Yes. Tank … and exit the facility to the outside ... to the freezing cold … a jagged terrain … what do they eat? What is their life span? How many off-spring can she produce?"

"How many generations until they over run the galaxy?" Sparatus asked, ignoring the salarian's questions.

"What will the re-introduction of that species do to our ecosystem?" Valern asked. "Diseases? Habitats? Resources?"

As the two councilors focused on the re-appearance of the rachni and what that might mean to them and all of the galaxy … Councilor Tevos focused on one line. _The Matriarch is dead._ It was as if someone took a piece of her heart and left an open wound. _The Matriarch is dead._ How could she tell Tatiaria that her sister was no longer among them? _The Matriarch is dead._ Who could Tevos turn to for wise counsel as she navigated through the waters of galactic politics? _The Matriarch is dead._ To never hear her voice or see the soft smile of her mentor again. _The Matriarch is dead._

* * *

><p>It had been two days since the team had returned to the ship from Peak 15 ... returned with the bodies of Staff Lieutenant Caroline Grenado and Corporal Orden Laflamme. Two individuals that had been loved by almost everyone on the crew and now would be missed. Shepard had written letters of condolences to the parents of Grenado and the wife of Laflamme before she had issued her official report to the Citadel Council. Her team and their families had priority ... something that she knew was not in line with being a SpecTRe but in line with who she was as a person.<p>

Lieutenant Edouard Diouf and Private Alcot Satake were under the care of Chakwas and her staff. Satake would be released soon but Diouf was still fighting for his life. Shepard had spent most of her time in the medbay with her fellow officer and close friend, Diouf. As she looked at him struggling … at the equipment helping him stay afloat ... fighting to stay alive … she not only prayed for his recovery but also that her team would never have to combat an asari commando unit again. She now understood why they were among the first to be chosen as SpecTRes and why they were considered the elite of the asari military. Then she thought of what the Matriarch had done and the words of Nihlus came back to her ... _Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a very dangerous place. _Dangerous was an understatement as far as she was concerned. If only he had survived Eden Prime. There was so much that she wanted to ask him.

* * *

><p>While still on Peak 15, Liara had asked Kaidan if he would get permission for her to leave the Normandy. She wanted to stay at the corporate hotel, which was closer to her mother, while she waited for the flight that would take her and the body of the Matriarch back to Thessia ... a flight that would take the two home to Armali. When Kaidan made the request for her, Shepard looked over at Liara to see her cradling the Matriarch's head in her lap and quickly approved.<p>

As Liara stayed with her mother, Kaidan returned to the Normandy and enlisted the help of Engineer Helen Lowe … The two packed up Liara things into her Gabric luggage and carried them to the hotel suite reserved under the Matriarch's name at the Caelstis 5. Both Kaidan and Helen were impressed by the two bedroom suite with its white and coal grey design along with the views of the mountains.

"How much do you think this suite costs?" Helen asked as she moved into the dining area where the original _Summer Day_ by Berthe Morisot hung.

"Let's see," Kaidan said as he tried to reserve the room next to Liara's for security but was denied. The hotel was open only for those who had a corporate account and as the daughter of Lady Benezia … Dr. T'Soni was authorized to stay in the hotel and Kaidan Alenko was not.

"Maybe you can stay here with the asari," Helen teased Kaidan.

"What?" Kaidan shook his head, "She is sweet but not my type ... and her mother just died."

"We know your type," Helen laughed as she looked at the bar. "Your type called Shepard would be the worse thing for you. You should try Silas."

"Crosby?" Kaidan shook his head no as he carried the luggage to the main bedroom suite.

"You know what _they_ say," Helen yelled as she sat on the couch. "Don't knock it till you try it."

"Who are _they_?" Kaidan asked as he re-entered the sitting area.

"What?" Helen asked after jumping in surprise that he was back in the room.

"Who are ... never mind," Kaidan shifted back to what he considered important, "What happens if Saren sends someone here and Liara is alone?"

"Just stay in the second bedroom," Helen suggested. "This is a two-bedroom suite after all and I'm sure that they don't care who their guests bring with them."

"Maybe the Commander can assign someone to stay with her," he said, smelling the flower arrangement in the sitting area. "Maybe even you."

When Kaidan informed Shepard of what he had tried to do and why, she thanked him but said that Liara would be fine on her own … "Besides, I think that she needs time alone, Kaidan. She doesn't need us underfoot and after seeing what she could do on Peak 15 ... she isn't a defenseless person."

"Or on Quana," Kaidan remembered the farkan. "You're right ... I just hate to see her alone after losing her mother."

Shepard had watched Liara as she left the Binary Helix facility … composed, calm and void of any emotion. Shepard thought of her own mother's passing and how she had to keep it together for the sake of her father but Liara did not have that pressure. _Why so in control? Why so cold?_ When Shepard went to offer her condolences before they parted ways, Liara had quickly shut her down … "If you are here to talk about Benezia's death, you need not bother. She brought it upon herself."The cold words had cut Shepard and confused her. She knew that Liara loved her mother and she had felt the love that Benezia had for her daughter within their meld. But there were no more tears or appearance of grief since Peak 15 from Liara or rather before others entered the research lab.

_Maybe the asari don't grieve long,_ Shepard had thought but quickly rejected. Instead she told herself; _Think about it … she doesn't want to be comforted by the very person who held the knife that killed her mother ... Just give her space._ _Let her grieve for her mother in private … Let her grieve over the Matriarch in her own way._

* * *

><p><em>The Matriarch.<em> The humans watched as Liara and two asari carefully wrapped the body of the Matriarch in silk before being transported back to Port Hanshan along with the bagged bodies of Grenado and Laflamme. There the Matriarch was placed in an asari meno, a room that held their dead while waiting to be transferred to their home planets. Liara had spent most of her time there after checking in to her hotel suite. She would sit next to her mother and look at her as the pain tried to overcome her. Just by looking at the Matriarch, the pain seemed to ease … only later when she was in her hotel suite alone would she curl up in her bed and pray for her pain to end.

Kaidan had checked in on her throughout the past two days despite the fact that he, or any non-asari, was not allowed to enter the asari meno … the place where Liara was spending the majority of her time. Kaidan would arrive and have the asari in the reception area notify Liara that he was there and she would come out. It was just outside the meno room that Liara had said goodbye to him earlier that evening … she would be departing for Thessia in the AM and he would be leaving for the Arcturus Station shortly after. There were no tears, no words of grief and she assured him that she was fine and would send word once she was safe at home in Armali.

"Kaidan," Liara said, before returning to her mother, "Please watch over the Commander. She pushes herself too hard and feels responsible for everyone and everything."

"She does," Kaidan smiled at her.

"Do not let her carry this burden," Liara said as she looked towards the room with her mother. "The Matriarch was gone long before she died here on Noveria."

"I'll try," Kaidan told her. "But what about you?"

"Me?" Liara tilted her head slightly.

"You know that your mother was not at fault," Kaidan explained. "She was trying to stop him. Her death is on Saren's hands ... I blame him."

"Part of me blames Saren for her death," Liara told him. "Part of me wants to blame her … and part of me just misses her."

"I would just blame Saren," Kaidan said. "He has given Shepard another reason to stop him."

Liara shook her head, "The Commander has enough reason to stop Saren. She … or I … do not need to add revenge to that list. Benezia chose her path … as I have chosen mine."

"What path have you chosen?" Kaidan asked.

"To support and protect the Commander in whatever way I can," Liara said. "But first I must honor my mother by bringing her home and sharing her memory with others."

"If you need anything," Kaidan told her, "I mean anything … let me know."

"Thank you," Liara smiled, "You have always been so considerate … I appreciate your friendship. We are friends, I hope."

"Yes," Kaidan nodded and smiled, "We are friends."

"Good," Liara smiled. "As my friend, will you tell the Commander that this was not her fault. That I know she would have saved my mother if she could."

"I will," Kaidan said, "As long as you promise to return as soon as possible."

"Agreed," Liara smiled again before leaving him and returning to the meno room.

The room was dimly lit by candles as the sound of the waterfall in the far right corner mixed with the music of the asari composer Nevron. As Liara lit a few more candles near her mother she hummed along to the tune before taking her place next to the Matriarch. As she brushed her mother's cheek she looked at her profile and felt her heart ache. "_We will be home soon_," Liara whispered in the old tongue of the asari and then bent over and kissed her mother's cheek. "_We will be home in Armali … with those that love you, mother. You will be in the fields of our ancestors, in the fields of Cerelia … loved, clothed in flowers and … safe_." Liara placed her forehead on her mother's right cheek and reached out to the Matriarch. Silence. There would be no ΕπZρεάζYω. "_What will I do without your grace? How can I live without your touch? Forgive me for not being strong enough to help you … to save you_."

* * *

><p>"Do you think that they will find her?" Ashley whispered to Shepard as they stood just outside the Normandy's medbay. "Do you think they will find the Queen?"<p>

"If Wrex has his way they will," Shepard answered as she looked at the somber faces of the crew in the mess hall.

"If Wrex has his way," Ashley said, "she will be caught and torn into tiny little pieces."

* * *

><p>Shepard sighed as she remembered Wrex's anger when she let the Queen go. Hell, even before that moment the krogan and rachni had argued through the asari called Zenaida. That had unnerved Shepard when the asari moved past her to the tank. As she quickly realized that the rachni had taken control of the dying asari … speaking through her … she thought about not honoring her promise to Benezia. She was not a believer of breaking one's promises but that puppet ability almost put her back in the Wrex camp. Had the Matriarch not shown Shepard the true intentions or the heart of the Queen she would have let the acid rain down on the creature in the tank and this possession would have sealed the deal. But she had seen and promised the Matriarch that she would spare her … that she would set her free before the acid was released. <em>Stop making promises<em>, Shepard told herself.

This had angered Wrex. He had argued for all that was krogan to kill her … "Millions of my ancestors died to put these things down. Don't let them come back," he had almost pleaded. His words had weight and she knew that not just the krogans had died during the rachni war … but that the galaxy was losing to the rachni as a whole before the krogan had been enlisted to help. But she had seen the Queen's true intentions through the Matriarch and so she had promised to free her. She asked Wrex to trust her and he had growled out in anger, "Are you stupid? Your people did not fight these carriers of smyerch … so maybe you don't get it! But you will if you let her go! You and your kind!" Shepard tried to make him see but she could tell he felt betrayed by her … that he was angry. That he was hurt. And she understood why.

Kaidan had also tried to stop her from freeing the rachni, "Commander, wait …" he had said just as she was about to release the Queen. "We weren't out here during the rachni war. I'm not sure we have any business doing this. We should leave this for the Council." Shepard might have listened except the Matriarch had set the tank to terminate the rachni and there was no stopping it … except to set the rachni free. So she had opened the tank and watched the Queen quickly climb up the wall and through a ventilation shaft.

The official word was that the rachni escaped and the only people that knew the truth were those in the room at the time … Once Captain Ventralis had been informed that the Queen had escaped, a hunting party was formed and Wrex volunteered along with Garrus. The turian had been out of the room when Shepard released the rachni and was unaware of what she had done … but Wrex knew. He looked at Shepard to see if she would stop him but she understood that he was doing what he believed was right. Maybe he was right.

All Shepard knew was that she had kept her promise and hoped that what had been shown to her was the truth and that the Queen was not going to raise a colony to wage war. She had released her partly on faith while Wrex was hunting her based on their joint past ... As Shepard watched the krogan head out with the BH team, she knew that it was all now out of her hands.

* * *

><p>Shepard motioned for Ashley to follow her to her private quarters and as they entered, Shepard shut the door behind them. "Chief, you never told me what you thought about the rachni."<p>

"Honestly?" Ashley asked, sitting down at the table. "They were dangerous, Skipper … We saw what they did on BH and history shows what they did two thousand years ago. I think it was a mistake to let her go. But that wasn't my call to make … it was yours."

"My call," Shepard nodded, grabbing two tumblers and a bottle of whiskey. "So you think that I should have let her die? The last of her kind?"

"Kill the last of anything?" Ashley frowned, as Shepard poured their drinks. "Put like that it makes the decision even harder. I don't think I would want that on my conscience, personally, when I went to my final judgment. But then I guess it would depend on what we are talking about."

"Yeah," Shepard touched her glass to Ashley's, "Here's to either saving a misunderstood race or re-introducing the galaxy's SA stormtroopers."

"What's our next move?" Ashley asked, taking a drink. "Head for that Mu Relay?"

"The Mu Relay could link to dozens of systems," Shepard said, rubbing her eyes. "Unless we know where Saren is going … we'd just be out there wasting our time. For now, we head to the Arc so that the families of our fallen brothers and sister can bury their loved ones."

As Shepard leaned back to flip on her iMuse, Ashley looked at the drawing by Liara and asked, "How is Liara holding up?"

"Kaidan says she is fine," Shepard answered, looking down into her glass of whiskey just as Chris Daughtry began singing _It's Not Over_.

"You haven't spoken to her?" Ashley's surprise not concealed.

Shepard turned up the music as she shook her head no and downed her drink.

"Her mother died just two days ago," Ashley pushed as she turned the music back down. "How could she be fine?"

"Kaidan says that she is doing well," Shepard said, pouring herself another drink and turning the music back up.

"Shepard," Ashley stood up as she turned the music back down, "I may be out of line but … the asari needs you not LT."

"What?" Shepard almost dropped her drink as she looked up at Ashley.

"You are the Commanding Officer," Ashley explained. "I mean … I know that Dr. T'Soni is not Alliance but … well, if I were in the asari's shoes … losing my mom and all … it would mean more to me if you came to see me, to check up on me, than the LT. Besides, you and I both know that she can't be fine. She not only lost her mother but she watched her mother die … she has to be hurting."

"Would you really want the person who killed your mother to comfort you?" Shepard asked bitterly. "Would you, Ash?"

"That's not fair," Ashley slammed down her drink. "You did not kill her … that was her own doing. You seriously cannot blame yourself for her death."

"I can," Shepard countered as she stood up, "It was my knife … it was my hand … I didn't stop her."

"Okay," Ashley raised her hands up. "Let's say that the asari blames you as well … then give her the chance to scream at you ... to curse you … to tell you how she feels. If you really killed her mother than you owe her that!"

"I thought you didn't like her," Shepard said, finishing her drink.

"I don't," Ashley said, heading for the door. "But that doesn't mean that I wish her harm or can't feel sorry for her when she loses her mother. It also doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve fair treatment. Go see her, Commander."

* * *

><p>Shepard had not planned on seeing Liara before her flight to Thessia but after having dinner with the head of the ERCS security, Captian Maeko Matsuo, she thought about what Ashley had said and found herself heading for the meno. By the time she arrived, Liara had already returned to her suite at the hotel and Shepard struggled on her next move. <em>Just go back to the Normandy<em>, she told herself as she left the reception room to the meno and headed for the hotel. She continued arguing with herself as the elevator moved towards Liara's floor … _This is crazy. You have no right seeing her and you know it. Just go back to the Normandy and let her find comfort with her family._ By the time that Shepard had reached her floor she knew that she would not see Liara. _Not now._

Liara had been back in her hotel suite just under an hour and was already struggling against the pain. The music of Akdhat was playing and Liara was seated at the window and looking out at the Skadi Mountains, a glass of whiskey in her hand. She looked at the amber color of the whiskey, thought of Shepard, than downed half of the liquid. Liara liked the warmth of the whiskey as it traveled down her throat but she still did not care for the smoky medicine after-taste. "Shepard," Liara said as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back just as a knock came at her door.

"Good evening," Shepard said as Liara appeared. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you … I just wanted to see if you're okay."

"Commander," Liara opened the door wide, "please come in."

"This is nice," Shepard said looking around. "Almost on the same level as the Aikaterine."

"Commander," Liara shook her head.

"Okay," Shepard smiled as she looked at Liara's white dressing gown. "But it's at least a six star hotel."

"Seven," Liara corrected. "It's a seven-star-hotel."

"Hmm," Shepard gave a small laugh, "With you as part of the room … I would add another star."

"You are teasing now," Liara smiled, trying to not let Shepard see her pain. "I was about to order the evening meal … would you join me?"

"Dinner?" Shepard had just had a steak and smiled, "Yes … I'm starving."

As Liara ordered their meals, Shepard looked around the suite and saw that the asari was packed for her flight that was scheduled to depart first thing in the morning. Shepard also noticed additional luggage in the other room and realized that those must have belonged to the Matriarch. "Shit," Shepard said, as she looked over at Liara who was looking at the hotel's menu.

Shepard moved back into the main sitting area and saw the half-emptied glass of whiskey and headed to the bar to look for the bottle. Liara watched as Shepard moved towards the bar and as she grabbed the bottle of Jameson Whiskey, "Would you mind re-filling my glass as well, Commander?"

"No problem," Shepard smiled. "Do you want ice?"

Liara shook her head no and once finished ordering their meal took a seat on the couch. "How is Lt. Diouf and Pvt. Satake?"

"Satake's fine," Shepard said, sitting in a chair opposite her. "Diouf is improving but … he still has a ways to go."

"Kaidan says that you are returning to the Arcturus Station," Liara said, removing her shoes and curling her legs up and to the side of her.

"Yes," Shepard said, taking a drink. "We have people waiting to claim their loved ones."

"Oh," Liara frowned. "I know that you and Lt. Grenado were friends."

"Yeah," Shepard said, thinking of their morning t'ai chi ch'uan sessions together. "She died protecting me … I didn't even realize it until Chief Williams told me. Everything was moving so fast in that room … I was honored to know her."

"She did what you would and have done," Liara said, taking a drink of her whiskey.

Shepard nodded and finished her own drink, "You leave in the morning?"

"Yes," Liara answered. "My Theia will be waiting for us in the Armali Port … After the Arcturus Station where will you go?"

"I don't know," Shepard said, looking at Liara's glass. "The Mu Relay is off the table until we know where Saren is going."

"I would agree," Liara said as she continued to keep her composure despite the growing pain. "To do so would be to rush off blind."

The two spent the next few minutes just looking at each other … both lost for words. Shepard finally stood and moved to the couch … "How are you?"

"I am fine," Liara smiled. "I will remember and honor how my mother lived, not how she died. Benezia was strong, kind and beautiful … and now she is gone."

"Not gone," Shepard said, reaching out and touching Liara's hand. "She not only lives on in your heart but you are also a part of her … Her determination, her intelligence, her strength … they live on in you."

"That is kind of you to say," Liara said, starting to move away from Shepard. "I appreciate your concern, but I am fine."

"Liara …" Shepard started but the arrival of their meal made her stop as Liara answered the door.

Later as the two sat across from each other in the dining area … both really not eating but moving the food around their plates … Shepard wanted nothing more than to comfort Liara.

Liara excused herself after spending twenty minutes at the dining table and went into her bedroom where she sat on the bed and began to cry. All she wanted was for the pain to go away … for the emptiness to be filled. As she moved farther on to the bed, she curled up and began to cry even harder ... her spirit tired of holding back. In her grief she did not hear Shepard enter.

Shepard knew that she was seeing Liara in her private moment and at first thought about quietly leaving but ... _She needs me_, Shepard told herself as she removed her shoes and gently crawled on the bed to "Liara," Shepard whispered as she curled up next to her. "I'm here ... please tell me how you feel."

Liara turned over and looked into Shepard's green eyes ready to tell her that she was fine but heard herself say instead, "_I hurt_."

Shepard did not understand the words spoken in the asari old tongue but she saw the pain in the asari's eyes. She pulled Liara to her and as they hugged, whispered, "I'm so sorry, Liara. I wish that I could change this … that I could take your pain."

Liara grabbed on to Shepard and as she pulled her tighter she felt herself moving into the Commander out of grief. She instinctually reached out and Shepard felt Liara's grief hit her like a storm. The reserve that Liara had shown on the outside hid the pain that had been lashing about on the inside. Now it was in Shepard and she could hear Liara's screams of pain ... and with each cry the storm seemed to lash out at Shepard. The water ripped into Shepard's nerves each time Liara cried out and Shepard's first instinct was to also scream … but she knew, or at least believed, that to do so would be to split herself open. That if she screamed it would bare her soul and Liara's pain would enter there as well and tear her apart. So she bit down on her own pain.

Liara could sense the colors and warmth of Shepard outside of her pain but she couldn't stop herself … she couldn't reach out and protect Shepard. She could only scream at the emptiness left by Benezia. Had Shepard been Tatiaria she would have been able to pull Liara to her calm, or at the least, soothe her pain … but she wasn't. She was ignorant, powerless, vulnerable and silent as Liara shared her pain … as Liara revealed the depths of her despair and grief.

Shepard thought that she was going to die but a part of her was at peace with it. She thought of her father, Liara's mother and the countless others that she had killed and she was ready for her punishment. It was in that moment of complete acceptance of her fate … of Liara's pain … that it all stopped.

Liara had pulled away as quickly as she had entered, "Please forgive me, Shepard … I did not mean to do that!"

As Liara began to physically pull away, Shepard would not let her go, "It's okay, Liara … I'm not angry. It's how you share … I just need to get use to it. Or wear a tinfoil hat."

"A tinfoil hat?" Liara looked confused.

Shepard, sweating and fighting back the nausea, tried to explain the joke but finally gave up as she could see Liara becoming even more confused. So she simply smiled and pulled two pillows down towards them, "It's nothing, Gracie."

"Did I hurt you?" Liara asked after they had shifted on the bed to get comfortable and she began to brush back Shepard's hair.

"No more than I hurt you," Shepard said as she pulled Liara even tighter.

"You have never hurt me," Liara said.

"Now who is teasing?" Shepard pulled away.

"Never intentionally," Liara said with a serious look on her face.

Shepard wished that were true. As the asari looked up at the ceiling and then closed her eyes Shepard did not want her to go, "Promise you will return to me as soon as you can." Liara looked at her and Shepard pulled her in tight "... or am I being selfish?"

"Not selfish," Liara couldn't help but smile at those words as she hugged Shepard back, "... and I promise, Shepard."


	77. Ukulele & A Tin Foil Hat Decision

As the body of the Matriarch, wrapped in silk, was carried onto the privately chartered starship those onboard stood with their heads bowed and remained silent out of respect for the Matriarch. Liara stood next to the attendant and would not return to her seat until the body of Benezia was placed in a sleeper pod. Liara wanted nothing more than to go to her, to sit with her as they journeyed back to Thessia, but there was a time and place for everything and she needed to show that the Matriarch had raised her to be strong and poised in all things … _In this darkness I shall reach out and touch your words, your wisdom and your love to guide me. In this brief moment of pain, mother, I will remember your laughter, your smile and your kisses. I will bring honor to the House of T'Soni and to your memory by not succumbing to the grief but embracing its release._

* * *

><p>"This was thoughtful of you, Commander," Dr. Chakwas said, as they waited for the ship to depart.<p>

"It's the least we could do," Shepard said, not looking at the doctor but the ship. She wished that she could forget her duties and just go with Liara. She remembered how she felt when her mother had died and how much she needed others. Her own father had been too buried in his own grief to help her but her friend, her best friend … _Rickster_, she felt the tears wanting to escape … had been there for her. He had comforted her as she cried but her pain was not like the asari's. Liara's loss of control that resulted in a meld between the two exposed her pain to Shepard. A pain that was so hopeless and unforgiving it almost tore her apart in those few minutes. When Liara had asked if she had hurt her, Shepard had hid just how painful it had been as the words of Liqiu Zhào echoed in her mind … _They do things that are natural to them but painful to us._

After the two had held each other in silence for over an hour, Liara had finally fallen asleep and Shepard had looked at her as she slept. The pain that the asari was feeling would have crushed Shepard had she felt it long-term and it broke her heart … It also made her promise the sleeping Liara that she would do everything in her power to avenge her mother's death. "I saw her love for you," Shepard had whispered to the sleeping daughter of Benezia, "and it was so full that I'm ashamed to admit that it was more love than my own heart could contain ... Your mother's spirit was so beautiful and strong … and she marveled at every breath you took." Shepard had never felt such love as when Benezia held her daughter in their meld and she remembered her own mother crying after Shepard had given a recital once. It had scared Shepard because her mother rarely cried and when she had asked Hannah what was wrong the preacher woman had just hugged her. _Is that what a mother's love feels like inside?_ Shepard had wondered as she touched Liara's cheek. She had allowed herself another few minutes to look at Liara and then quietly slipped out of the bed and returned to the Normandy.

Now as Shepard looked at the ship she realized that the previous night had been one of the most intimate moments with a lover she had ever experienced and there had been no kissing. No sex. Instead it had been looks without walls, words that were raw and touches without ulterior motives. It had been an unpolished and unscripted night with another soul without an expectation of personal gain to either party. This type of intimacy with Liara had happened before … in small flashes. The first was in Shepard's kitchen and the memory of Liara starting the blender still made her smile. But Shepard had to ask herself what all of that meant. If she pursued a relationship with the asari how would that impact both of their lives … their families … their careers? Would she want more or would it just be a casual relationship? What did Liara feel and want … if anything? Then there was the asari's need to touch in a way that was not natural for Shepard … a way that had not come without pain or apprehension for her in the past … a need so strong that to take it off the table was not realistic and equal to asking Shepard to not speak from her heart. But the meld still scared her. It showed how she was powerless against the asari and also highlighted how different they were from each other. What other things would appear if she tried this? Shepard thought of Liara's smile in her kitchen and knew that she wanted her in her life. How long or if love would become a part of it, she didn't know but she didn't care in that moment. If Liara came back to her … if the asari returned … she would see where the road would lead them. Love or friendship didn't matter as long as Liara was in her life … _Ukulele and a tin foil hat_, Shepard told herself. _With those two things we might make it_.

* * *

><p><em>Shepard<em>, Liara looked out the window and saw the Commander still standing in the port's terminal and it touched her. It had worried her when she woke that morning to find Shepard gone. It worried her because she knew that she had hurt Shepard with her grief and loss of control … something that she felt ashamed of. Her mother had always stressed the importance of not only being aware of the other person within the sharing but also careful to not hurt or violate boundaries … she had failed in both areas. It also didn't help that she knew that the asari way of sharing both hurt and scared the Commander. She did not understand it at first, she still didn't if she was being completely honest, but she was aware of it after speaking with Aikaterine. In time, she had told herself, it would become easier on Shepard but last night was a step back. Had that step backwards pushed the Commander away from her? She had thought so until she had entered the terminal and saw Shepard waiting for her in her Alliance dress whites.

"Commander," Liara said as her luggage was carried to the ship by flight crewmembers. "You did not have to come."

"I'm here because I want to be here," Shepard said, holding Easter Lilies in her hand. "And I brought these for your mother." Shepard and Chakwas had hunted down a florist in Port Hanshan earlier that morning and both sighed with relief when they saw the selection. "They are white lilies that symbolize innocence and are called the white-robed apostles of hope."

"Thank you, Commander," Liara had said as she took the lily bouquet from Shepard.

"We … humans … send flowers when someone dies as an expression of our sympathy," Shepard explained. "These also represent the innocence that I believe was restored to the Matriarch's spirit in her passing."

"They are lovely," Liara smiled, wanting to touch the Commander in thanks. "And I am touched … I thought that after last night …"

"Dr. Chakwas has another gift," Shepard cut her off as she looked at Chakwas, not wanting to discuss such a private matter in front of others.

Liara was grateful that the Commander had stopped her when she realized that they were not alone. She had been so focused on Shepard that she had not realized that other members of the Normandy were in the terminal as well. With Shepard turning the focus to the right side of the area, she turned to see Dr. Chakwas, Lt. Alenko, Lt. Moreau on crutches, Engineer Adams, Officer Draven, Lt. Freedman, Chief Lawry and Nurses Zyu and Hudson just a few feet away.

Seeing not only Shepard but the others waiting for her made her choke just a little and when Chakwas came forward with a sympathy basket, she said, "Doctor, I am honored that you came."

"We are all honored to be here," Chakwas said, "All of the Officers and crewmember of the Normandy asked me to express their condolences to you and your loved ones. Our prayers and thoughts go with you to Thessia, Liara."

Liara, not wanting to lose her composure, turned her attention to the basket that Chakwas was holding. At first glance she saw the white orchids, Buddhist prayer beads and Henry's chocolate cookies ... that's where her eyes stopped. It made her remember the flight to Quana with Shepard and how the Commander had greeted her in the tradition of the asari. The memory made her look at Shepard who was having a conversation now with Draven and Freedman as Kaidan came forward to explain the beads. A part of her wished that they were alone but she was also glad that the others had come to see her. It had been just a little over three months since she had been found on Therum and her view of the humans had expanded. Yes, there were humans that were arrogant, aggressive and self-centered … but she also saw that they could be humble, calm and considerate of others. Individuals on the Normandy showed her that humans were many things … Dr. Chakwas showed Liara the intelligence, Kaidan the kindness, Joker the confidence, Ashley the determination, Adams the open-mindedness, Pressly the politeness and there was so much more. As Liara looked around the terminal she knew one thing for certain … she would miss them.

* * *

><p>The dyna that the Matriarch would be placed on until she left the estate for the meadows of Agelast was being brought in to the grand ballroom, as Tatiaria continued to arrange her sister's funeral. She had just ordered the traditional Thessian flowers, as well as the white gardenias that the Matriarch loved, when Kyriake Alexakis entered the home.<p>

"Kyri," Tatiaria greeted as she continued to direct the help.

"Tati," Kyriake said as she stopped her and touched her cheek, "Do not turn from the Matriarch's passing … embrace it with the understanding that she is now part of the lasting truth: that she is neither bound to life or death but simply waiting for us."

"Pain, reflection, gratefulness, acceptance, peace," Tatiaria said as she looked over at the painting of her sister in the great hall. "I am in pain and embrace it … but I also must prepare my sister's journey."

"And Little's," Kyriake said. "When will she arrive?"

"She is scheduled to arrive in nine days," Tatiaria answered as they moved into the grand ballroom where the dyna was being re-positioned on the stage.

"Benezia would love this," Kyriake said, running her hand over the wood. "Ladr?"

"Yes," Tatiaria smiled. "It came from the plantation and was carved by Lioneka."

"I remember now," Kyriake said. "Benezia told me that there was a dyna in the family that was carved from Lusian wood."

"Carved by a huntress," Tatiaria said. "Lioneka." She was also the mate of Benezia's mother, Dianthe, and it was she that had carved out the dyna for Zera, the mate of Lyrisa. Zera was from Lusia as was the ladr tree … it was the tree that both Aethyta and Liara loved on Lusia and was what shaded the sitruuna plants.

"Benezia spoke often of Lioneka," Kyriake said. "But she spoke more of Zera." Zera had been born and raised on Lusia but had met Dianthe's mother, Lyrisa, while studying in Armali. Lyrisa wanted her bondmate to be placed on the wood of her home and Dianthe made that a reality. The dyna had been used by the line of Dianthe since then.

"Sister loved Zera," Tatiaria said, looking up at the glass ceiling. "She was gone by the time I was born … so sister would tell me stories about her. Did you know that she was a Professor, Armali skyball champion and a horticulturist?"

Kyriake listened as Tatiaria talked about Zera and her teachings at the Armali University, her skyball record with the Armali Venitrux along with her leading the restoration of the gardens in Messonia. She listened as Tatiaria talked about the flight schedule of the Matriarch and Liara. She talked about the arrangements that she had made and still needed to make in preparation of the Matriarch and her daughter's arrival. Kyriake knew Tatiaria was hurting … that she wanted nothing more than to hide away and mourn the loss of her older sister but the Matriarch needed her … Liara needed her … and Tatiaria would not let either of them down. The house would be perfect by the time the two landed in Armali and Tatiaria would keep her promise and help Liara deal with the loss.

* * *

><p>Liara looked at the seat next to her that had both the Easter Lilies from Shepard and her mother's mænt placed on it. The gift basket was sitting across from her in a seat facing her and she had eaten four of the cookies from it for her midday meal. It had been over twelve hours since she had left Noveria and she had spent that time listening to her iMuse and reading her mother's last published works. She had been tempted to start reading her mother's mænt but knew that she was still too young. The mænt was a book that contained the Matriarch's personal notes ... her thoughts written down in her own hand. She had started it shortly after moving into the matriarch stage and only the most personal things were placed in it. Liara had never touched it before and now with her mother's passing it belonged to her. It was her sole right to read what was contained inside but it scared her. She had always believed that she would not receive the mænt until she was well over five centuries. Five centuries at the least. But here she was holding it at just a century.<p>

"Mother," she said as she ran her hand over it.

"Dr. T'Soni," the attendant said as she brought the evening meal, "We will have your bed turned down within the hour … will you require anything else? Perhaps a vid?"

"Yes, please," Liara said as her meal was placed on the table in front of her. "Do you have Jameson Whiskey?"

"We have Four Roses which is a Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey," the attendant said. "Would you like a glass?"

Liara nodded even though she didn't understand what Kentucky straight bourbon meant … all she knew was that it was a whiskey. Somehow drinking whiskey made her feel that Shepard was closer. As she waited for the drink, she put a napkin on her lap and took a bite of the sahini. She was not hungry but she knew that she had to take care of herself … that she would need to be at her best as her mother was honored. Her mother. This was not how Liara had wanted their return home to be but this is how it was. As she thought of her mother's body wrapped in silk and in a sleeper pod she was at least grateful that she could bring it home … bring her home and see her placed next to her own mother in the meadows of Agelast.

* * *

><p>Shepard stepped off the rock and patted Pressly on the shoulder, "She's all yours, young man."<p>

"Yes, Commander," Pressly said, taking her place as she headed for the stairs to the lower level.

Shepard wanted nothing more than to go for a long distance run in the gym but first she would check in on Diouf. He had opened his eyes just a few hours prior and if Shepard had been in her room instead of on the rock she would have cried. Since Eden Prime she had lost ten of her personnel and she prayed that she wouldn't lose anyone else. But she knew that given the mission they were on that was highly unlikely … it made her hate herself for asking Liara to come back. _Wouldn't the asari be safer away from her?_ She had asked herself as the Normandy pulled away from Noveria. _Are you just being selfish like you'd been with Tait?_ Shepard struggled with Liara coming back but pushed it to the back of her mind as she stepped into the medbay.

"Commander," Diouf greeted weakly, one of his eyes looking like a blodclot more than an eye.

"I heard that you were back with us," Shepard smiled as she bent down and kissed him on both cheeks. "You have been missed."

"I heard that you were here more than not," he smiled weakly. "You know that I am recently taken."

"Ah, yes … an ExoGeni girl from what I hear," Shepard said as she pulled a chair closer to the bed. "What was her name?"

"Lizbeth … Lizbeth Baynham," Diouf's smile growing wider until he groaned.

"Careful there," Shepard teased as she stood up and helped him get more comfortable.

"What was it like living on Mindoir?" Diouf asked, as he found a comfortable position and Shepard sat down.

"I was born and raised there so … it was home," Shepard answered. "Why?"

"Liz has grown to love Feros," Diouf said. "And with her promotion to research manager at her company … I've never lived off-world."

"You planning on leaving Marseille?" Shepard cocked an eye. "You are hooked."

Diouf started to laugh but groaned again, causing Nurse Rosamund Draven to push Shepard out of the medbay. "Please Commander, he needs his rest and Dr. Chakwas will be on both of us if she sees you here this late."

"I think she forgets I'm the captain of this ship," Shepard half-jokingly said as the nurse pushed her towards the door.

"You can remind her in the morning," Nurse Draven said as Shepard stopped at the door and saluted good night to Diouf who was laughing and groaning on the bed.

"I'm the captain," Shepard turned her attention to the nurse as she stepped out, "but I'm not stupid … We will let the good doctor think she has the control … for now, shall we?"

"Good night, Commander," Nurse Draven smiled and then closed the door.

* * *

><p>"You're gonna get a purple heart for this," Silas said to Satake as they ate their dinner in the mess hall.<p>

"I like purple," Tali said, fixing Satake's collar. "Does it hurt to sit?"

"Not really," he answered, biting into his soy burger.

"I miss Ordie," Silas said of Corporal Orden Laflamme. "I still can't believe that he died."

Satake put down his burger and put his head on Tali's shoulder, "It was my fault."

"The geth killed him," Tali said, picking up his burger and making him sit up. "Eat."

"Commander," Silas called out, causing everyone at the table to look over at her. "I hear that Lt. Diouf is back with us."

"You heard correct," Shepard smiled. "Aren't you supposed to be in the CIC?"

"Oh, uh … yeah," Silas nervously answered, pushing his plate away. "I … well … I've been … uh … well …"

"Report to your station," Shepard said, turning to the Officer's table and telling Lt. Freedman, "Jess, have Lt. Alenko come to my cabin immediately."

"Yes, ma'am," Freedman said, pulling up the ship's public comm. as Shepard headed to her quarters and Silas raced to the CIC.

* * *

><p>It had been a long day but Shepard still had a few things to do before bed and one of those things was to clear the air with her Lieutenant. There was an attraction between the two but she knew that it was purely physical and Kaidan was not a man designed for casual relationships. He was a man that was looking for a wife and down the road kids. She knew that whoever he married, and yes he was the marrying kind, would never have to worry about him straying, leaving her for another woman or being a poor father to their children.<p>

Kaidan Alenko was an honorable and strong man that her parents would have loved … _Why you can't make things easier on yourself I'll never know_, Shepard thought to herself as she picked up Liara's sketch as _Casa Torres_ by John Hughes played on her iMuse. If she were thinking with her head she would see that Kaidan was a perfect fit … fellow soldier, family-oriented, faithful, handsome, human and male. Her family back in Georgia would love him and he would make a wonderful father … of that she was sure.

"Commander?" she heard his voice and as she turned to face him she knew that her decision would not come from her head this time.

"Come in, Kaidan," Shepard smiled as she moved to the couch and he shut the door behind him.

"Lt. Freedman told me about Silas," Kaidan said, nervous as David Bowie told his listeners that he was putting fire out with gasoline. "I will see that he …"

"That isn't why I called you here," Shepard said, patting the seat next to her. "Although I trust that the appropriate steps will be taken to ensure that it doesn't happen again."

"Of course," Kaidan said, sitting next to her. "The report will be in your hands by the AM."

"Kaidan," God, he was a gorgeous piece of male, Shepard thought as the Alliance Officer with a boxer's body sat next to her. His masculine cologne pleased her, the bulge between his legs tempted her and his voice pulled her in … but he was candy and like someone who had grown up she knew that she needed more. She wanted more. He was perfect on paper but a big blue A had been stamped across that paper. "It's about us … you and me."

"Is there an us?" he asked, reaching out and taking her hand.

Shepard placed her other hand over his, "Kaidan, I could never be what you want or give you what you deserve. I dream about leaving this life, moving to Georgia, getting married and having kids … but I know that it would never happen."

"Shepard," Kaidan moved closer.

"Kaidan," Shepard looked deep into his dark eyes, "I'm never going to have those things … My life is never going to be completely mine. I don't know why I keep fighting it. You on the other hand ... you can have those things."

"Shepard," Kaidan looked down at their hands joined, "If this is where you need to be I'll stand by you … but I have a feeling that this isn't why we can't be together."

Shepard pulled away from him and stood up, "No … it's not."

"Talk to me," Kaidan said. "Neither one of us is kids … or in high school. You can take the gloves off."

Shepard looked over at her boxing gloves in her gym bag and knew that he was right. She had been honest with Liam and now it was time to be honest with Kaidan … with herself. "You're right, Kaidan. Time to be honest … would you like a drink while I am baring my soul?"

"No, thank you," Kaidan wanted only the truth and watched as Shepard poured herself a tumbler full of whiskey. As Shepard looked at the amber liquid she made herself promise that she would go on another two week fast from alcohol after that night. It was a game that she played with herself … a way to monitor her alcohol consumption and possible addiction.

"My first boyfriend was named Tait," Shepard smiled as she sat down again on the couch, the glass of whiskey held but placed on top of her crossed leg. "… Tait Rickman. He had blond hair, blue eyes and wonderful dimples … and powerful! His dimples were so powerful that all he had to do was smile and if I was angry they would put my anger out. Hmm … He was my first crush, my first time and I've often wondered if he would have become my first love."

Kaidan could see by Shepard's smile that she was not in that room but somewhere in the past. As he sat next to her she stopped and took a drink. "He was there during Mindoir '70?"

Shepard nodded, "Died trying to protect me … I can still see him lying there and …" Shepard sighed, "… if I could go back and re-do that day I would change so much. But I can't. And I've often wondered if my ability to truly love in a romantic way went with him."

"Shepard," Kaidan placed his left arm on the back of the couch as he leaned towards her, "I can't imagine what you saw that day or what you went through … but you can't let that stop you from living your life or being open to love."

"And you think that you can help?" Shepard asked, looking at her drink.

"No," Kaidan answered, leaning back. "Buddha once said, _no one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path_."

"Is that a direct quote?" Shepard asked with a doubtful look on her face.

"You asked for it," Kaidan smiled as he stood up and standing as if a boy reciting at a school gathering began, "_By oneself is evil done; by oneself is one defiled. By oneself is evil left undone; by oneself is one made pure. Purity and impurity depend on oneself; no one can purify another._"

Shepard placed her tumbler on the side table and clapped, "Bravo!"

Kaidan blushed and took his seat as Shepard stood; "Now it is my turn."

"You know a Buddha passage?" Kaidan looked shocked.

"Better," Shepard winked as she cleared her throat and began, "There once was a fellow named O'Doole, who found little red spots on his tool. His doctor a cynic, said, Get out of my clinic! And wipe off that lipstick you fool!"

Both Shepard and Kaidan began to laugh, "And I didn't believe Ash about your martini limerick."

"You don't like limericks?" Shepard said between her laughter.

Kaidan not only loved them but had penned a few but he was not about to share that with Shepard. He knew that she would make him recite one and he would rather face another team of asari commandos then do that. "I like them … just surprised that you do too."

"Kaidan," Shepard said, sitting next to him again, "There is a lot that you don't know about me … as I am sure there is a lot that I don't know about you. And while I would prefer to keep much of my past off the table it's important that you understand that it has left me pretty … damaged."

"And you don't think that I would be willing to work through those damages?" Kaidan asked.

"Not you … me," Shepard said. "Do you remember when you told me about your past? About life at BAaT?" Kaidan nodded. "Do you remember what you said when I asked if you were looking for me to fix you?"

"That I've come to terms with myself," Kaidan answered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Come to terms," Shepard smiled. "So have I … We all come to each other a little damaged, I guess. It's not about fixing each other but accepting. I know my damages, Kaidan, and I can assure you that they would always be a wall between us."

Kaidan looked at Shepard and no matter how much he wanted her he also understood. "I wish that there were words to change your mind … but a part of me understands. Not that I'm not disappointed but … I appreciate your honesty."

"You are a good man," Shepard said, as they stood up. "And I am going to hate the woman that wins your heart."

Kaidan gave a small smile, "Blaise Pascal said, _The heart has its reasons which reason knows not_."

"It probably sounded more like … _Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point*_," Shepard smiled as she walked him to the door. "Thank you, Kaidan, for being so understanding."

"Can I ask you one thing?" Kaidan stopped at the door.

Shepard looked at him and hoped that it wasn't about Liara, "Sure."

"It's about the krogan," he said.

"Wrex," Shepard frowned.

"He hasn't seemed the same since Noveria," Kaidan said, worried that they now had a ticking one-ton time bomb on board the Normandy.

"I know," Shepard returned to the couch area and picked up her glass of whiskey. "He feels betrayed by me."

"He should understand that …" Kaidan started but was stopped by Shepard.

"No … I need to understand him," Shepard said. "We humans have no history with the rachni, while Wrex's people do. How would you feel if a known predator that had almost killed everyone on Earth, without mercy I might add, was found after two thousand years and Wrex despite your pleas let it loose again on Earth?"

"But you believed …" Kaidan began.

"Kaidan," Shepard stopped him again. "You know, even if she is friendly like a fuzzy bunny we have no clue what her impact will be on the planet or its life form wherever she lands. Hmmm. I might have just put a smallpox tainted blanket on a planet of Native Americans. Did you ever think about that?"

"Even if he is right," Kaidan argued, "should we keep him with us?"

Shepard sat back on her table, glass of whiskey pressed against her bottom lip as the Police pumped out _King of Pain_. Give up her Beast? Send away her rock? "Give him time, Kaidan. He may never agree with my decision … and I'd almost lose respect for him if he did … but it won't cloud his judgment on what we need to do with Saren."

"Good night, Shepard." Kaidan said, taking a mental note to increase surveillance in the krogan's area.

Shepard put down the empty glass on the table and flipped the comm, "Chief Williams?"

"Commander?" came back Ashley's voice after a few minutes.

"Feel like a long distance run?" Shepard asked, grabbing her gym bag.

"Yes, ma'am!" Ashley answered.

"See you in five then," Shepard smiled, heading for the door.

* * *

><p>* Updated per Cafpow feedback. - PMC Jan 25, 2013<p> 


	78. A Dead Rabbit

The first few hours on the Arc had been rough on Shepard as the bodies of the dead were removed from the Normandy. While many of the bodies would be transferred to their home planets, some families had come to the Arc to take possession of their loved one. Corporal Orden Laflamme had moved his family to the Arc when he was assigned to the Normandy and as Shepard spoke with each loved one it was the sight of his widow and their three small children that brought tears to her eyes. Seeing that the children would be raised without their father hit her hard and now as she sat around the conference table with her staff that loss was still fresh in her mind … "Could we focus on the vacancies that will need to be filled while on the Arc?"

"The Alliance has forwarded their candidates," Pressly said, pulling up the first candidate on the console in the middle of the table.

"I would like to make one request," Shepard said, looking at her team. "The individuals must be free of dependents."

"How long will we be here on the Arc?" Pressly asked, thinking of all that they needed to accomplish as well as wanting to be able to update his own wife. He was hoping that he could at least have a week with her before they headed out again. "With the staffing and re-stocking and then Greg …"

"I would recommend that we take advantage of being back on the Arc," Adams said. "The Normandy could use a little attention and Tali might have a way to improve …"

As Adams shared the quarian's engineering _brilliance_, Shepard's mind went back to Laflamme's wife and children. Shepard had expected the widow to blame her … to hate her. Instead she had thanked her for bringing the body home. She told her how much her husband had both admired her and loved working with the Commander. Shepard could see the loss in the woman's eyes and wished that she could bring her husband back from the dead. But there were some things that the hero of the Blitz could not do … Shepard cursed herself as the woman thanked her.

"How many days would you need?" Pressly could be heard to ask Adams as Shepard's thoughts came back to the meeting.

"Well," Adams looked at the schematics on the screen, "At least a week … maybe."

"We can't be here longer," Shepard said, looking at Dr. Chakwas, "What about Ed?"

"I am arranging to have him moved to Astruc Clinic," Chakwas said. "Not only do they have an excellent medical staff but they also have an amazing therapy program that can help him. In time he may even walk again."

Shepard hated losing Lt. Diouf but she had seen Dr. Chakwas' reports and … "Have you told him?"

"Yes," Chakwas answered. "He begged me to let him stay, Commander. But we are not staffed or suited for what he needs now."

"I'll talk to him," Shepard said. "I'll let him know that when he gets better … well, he can get his butt back here."

"What about leaves?" Kaidan asked. "I have already received chits from many of the personnel."

"Adams," Shepard looked at her chief Engineer, "Firm up the time you need for the bird and once that is set in stone …" Shepard looked at Kaidan, "… then you can start to hand out the passes and pray that the Arc survives our locust."

"Commander," Lt. Aldrin's voice came over the comm., "Please excuse the interruption but there is a Lt. Girard requesting to board."

"Lt. Girard?" Shepard's brows lowered as she looked around the table to see if anyone knew him.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered. "He has requested to speak with you … he says that it's important."

"Of course it is," Chakwas smiled at Shepard. "Shall we be excused, Commander? I need to return to the medbay."

"Of course," Shepard said, "Neil, have the Lieutenant escorted to the conference room please."

"Yes, ma'am," Aldrin answered before disconnecting.

"Everyone dismissed," Shepard said, turning to Kaidan, "except you … let's see what this Lt. Girard needs."

* * *

><p>Shepard could see that the Officer was nervous as he entered the conference room and upon seeing her … he stumbled slightly before standing tall and saluting her, "Lieutenant Didier Girard … it is an honor to meet you Commander Shepard."<p>

Shepard stood and returned the salute as she smiled at the accent, "What part of France?"

"Collioure," Girard answered.

"The home of Matisse," Shepard smiled and then added the town's motto, "_Sempre endavant, mai morirem._"

"_Collioure sera toujours Collioure_," Girard responded with their additional motto and then asked in French, "_Have you been to my home_?"

"_Years ago_," Shepard answered in her mother's tongue. "_I holidayed there with a companion during the __Saint Vincent festival. Beautiful. I hope to return for another holiday._" Shepard then looked at Kaidan who was now standing up between them, "I'm sorry Kaidan for the momentary exclusion … Lt. Girard this is Lt. Alenko."

"How can we help you?" Kaidan asked as Shepard took her seat again.

"There is a young woman," Girard said, his smile gone.

"Please have a seat," Shepard motioned to the seat next to Kaidan that was normally occupied by Chakwas. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, ma'am," Girard answered, sitting next to Kaidan and still not truly believing that he was talking to the Commander Shepard. "… just a moment of your time."

"Fair enough," Shepard said, pouring herself a glass of water from the pitcher that had been placed in front of her earlier in the staff meeting. "Tell me about this young woman."

"I don't know how to start … but …." Girard knew that he was about to touch on something that might re-open deep wounds in the Commander. He was aware that she had survived Mindoir '70 which is why he was there.

"That serious?" Shepard smiled, trying to put the Lieutenant at ease.

"This young woman … we … we rescued her a few weeks ago from batarian slavers," he said slowly, noticing that the Commander's right hand froze on her glass. "Once we brought her here for … processing … we learned that she was from Mindoir."

At the mention of Mindoir, Shepard squeezed her glass and it broke. "Shepard!" Kaidan said, as her hand began to bleed.

"She was in the raid?" Shepard said, focused on the Officer as Kaidan grabbed a napkin to stop the bleeding.

"Yes, ma'am." Girard answered, as Kaidan called for Chakwas to come into the conference room. Shepard's eyes never left Girard as he pulled up the woman's history on his omni-tool. "Her name is Talitha Douglas … Her parents were Alfred and Jane Douglas." Shepard leaned forward to look at the photo of the happy family taken some time before the attack … and frowned. She did not know the Douglas' personally and asked where they were from. "From the records they were farmers just outside Highland Falls … north of the Timbersome Creek."

Shepard nodded as Chakwas appeared with her medical bag, "We called that community Seedland because it was nothing but farmers then. Well, really orchards ... there are a few olive farmers left but it is now primarily vineyards today ... As a way of honoring the old community it was officially named Seedlands about eight years ago. Beautiful countryside … it's often compared to Tuscany of the late twentieth century."

"Shepard," Chakwas frowned as she went around the Commander so that she could be on her right hand side ... Once there she bent over and began to inspect Shepard's cut hand. "While you speak of vineyards you are bleeding on the table."

"I've been sliced worse," Shepard told her as she felt Chakwas start to clean the cuts.

"Would you like to discuss this after you are fixed up?" Girard asked.

"Were there others?" Shepard asked, ignoring both his question and Chakwas frown ... The doctor would have scolded the Commander more except she could see that something was wrong.

"Two," Girard answered, "But they were killed before we could get control of the situation … Talitha was found trying to save one of the bastards! Screaming at us to get away from him. After he was killed … she … she tried to stop the bleeding. She fought us as she tried to protect him."

"Who were the other two?" Shepard asked, praying that Ricky was not one of them.

"Oh … of course …" Girard pulled up the other two. "William Costello and Karen McDowell … all would have been around the age of six when they were taken."

Shepard could feel sweat on her back as her heart raced. She had almost cried out in relief to not hear Ricky's name but she also recognized the last name. "McDowell? Her parents were Arailt and Gwen?"

"Yes," Girard answered, as Chakwas finished bandaging up Shepard's hand. "You knew them?"

Shepard nodded as she looked at her bandaged hand and thanked Chakwas, "I really appreciate it."

"Try and not hurt yourself any further, Commander," Chakwas said before leaving.

"Brother and sister McDowell," Shepard frowned. "They attended my mother's church … Brother Arailt was a deacon in the church and had these huge hands ... he also played the bass. Sister Gwen taught Sunday school to the younger kids and kept sweets in her purse … Karen loved to hum … hummed everywhere she went. Funny the things you remember about people. They had a olive farm in Seedland … My parents would take me out there during the harvest season and we'd help them pick the olives. In return, my mom was supplied olive oil for free … I think he would have given it to her anyway but my parents were always up to helping out people."

"I'm sorry," Girard said as the Commander stood up and walked to the screen that was showing the activity on the larboard side of the Normandy.

"The male?" Shepard asked, not turning around. "What were his injuries? What did the … what did his body reveal?"

Girard stood up, "Like the females he had been branded by his various owners … his body showed a history of abuse … burning, beatings ... sexual assaults. But no signs of malnutrition."

"Of course not," Shepard said. "Like farm animals … they kept them strong for working."

Girard looked at the Commander's backside as she remained facing the screen, "What all of them had been through … I can't imagine. I am just glad that we could save at least one."

"I would like the coordinates of where you found them uploaded into the Normandy," Shepard said, "Alenko … tell Pressly that these are to be considered our next destination."

"Commander?" Kaidan was worried that this was going to sidetrack Shepard from their mission.

"Just for a quick sweep," Shepard said as she turned to face him. "Don't worry, Kaidan … I know what our main priority is. I just want to take a look."

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan said and then left the conference room after Girard uploaded the coordinates into his omni-tool.

"Now about this young woman," Shepard turned her attention back to Girard. "What do you need from me?"

"I … I hoped that you would talk to her," Girard said. "She does not talk … not really. But she might with you."

Shepard leaned against the table, "Lieutenant, I'm not a psychiatrist."

Girard walked closer to the Commander, "You are from Mindoir … you survived the raid."

"Survived," Shepard said softly. "Hmm ... I don't know if I can help, Lieutenant. I'm not sure ..."

"Anything that you could do for her," Girard said, "Anything … She's been through enough. Those shrinks will approach her like scalpels when what she needs is … well … I don't know. Someone from home?"

"Home," Shepard stood up from the table and began to lead him towards the CIC. "If you can arrange a visit with her tomorrow … I'll see her."

"Thank you, Commander," Girard said, looking at the rock in the CIC as they passed by. "I already have it scheduled first thing in the morning … shall I pick you up here or would you like to meet at the Astruc Clinic?"

"You already scheduled it?" Shepard asked as they began to head down to the exit.

"I apologize if that offends you," Girard said as they stopped just a few feet passed Pressly's station. "But she is lost and I believe that … sometimes we need someone who understands. Someone who comes from the same soil ... everything that I have heard about you … I believed that you would help."

Shepard looked at the Alliance Officer and knew that she had found someone she wanted on her team. Someone who not only cared but went that extra mile. She would have his service record pulled and submitted to Pressly for consideration. "No apology necessary, Lieutenant."

"Commander?" Pressly politely interrupted the talk between the Commander and the Lieutenant Girard. "There is a civilian requesting to speak to an Elizabeth Shepard ... He sounds like a suit."

Shepard thanked Lt. Girard for coming to see her and then took the call next to Pressly. "This is Commander Elizabeth Shepard, how may I help you?"

"Commander Shepard?" the male voice was unfamiliar. "This is Stanley Mason of the Pritchart, Joel and Mason Law Firm … I represented Liam Serafino."

"Liam?" Shepard said. "Is he in trouble?"

"I'm sorry to say that he died ten days ago," Mason said.

Shepard felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her at those words, "What?"

"He died in an auto accident on Noveria," Mason said, repeating the story that the Noveria Executive Board had approved to cover up the geth attack. "A representative from the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB notified this office."

"Where is he?" Shepard asked, wishing that she had taken the call in the privacy of her room.

"His body is still on Noveria," Mason answered. "They said that it had been damaged in the accident … burned to the point of needing his dental records to identify him. There were three others that had died in the accident as well … Per his instructions in his last will and testament, his remains will be returned to England."

"I see," Shepard said, trying to remember their last words to each other.

"You were left as his beneficiary," Mason said but Shepard was not really listening anymore. She was thinking of their last time together and how she had broken his heart … How even as he tried to be strong he had broken down at one point to beg … _Are you sure, Shepard? You know that I love you …that I will do whatever it takes to keep you happy. We can work through this. I know that our life would never be normal but … if we love each other we can make it work._ "… can you come to my office tomorrow?"

"What?" Shepard realized that she had missed almost everything he had said.

"Can you come by my office anytime tomorrow or the day after?" he asked. "I am located near the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB here on the Arc … I thought since you were here … if not …"

"That's fine," Shepard cut him off. "I have an appointment in the morning … how about three in the afternoon?"

"I will see you then," Mason said just before Shepard disconnected. She looked at the map in the middle of the CIC and then without saying a word to anyone, she moved quickly through the Normandy to the privacy of her quarters.

* * *

><p>"I'm so sorry, Liam," Shepard said as she sat on the edge of her bed and began to cry. If only she had known that he was going to die she would not have broken up with him … hurt him … "Please forgive me, Liam ... Daddy, be kind to him when he gets there." Shepard buried her face in her hands and she cried as she thought about the time that they met ... his struggling to learn the guitar ... his funny smile when he would bring her breakfast in bed. She had hoped that they could remain friends ... she had hoped that ... dead. He was dead.<p>

As she closed her eyes against the bitter tears, there was a knock at her door … "Commander?" she heard the turian behind it.

"One minute," Shepard called out as she stepped into her private head and splashed water on her face. "No time for tears, Commander … You must stay strong … Leave that for the civilians."

Shepard then moved across the cabin and behind the door stood Garrus holding both his Martin and sassub. "I'm sorry to bother you but I need help on _Guitar Man_."

"Jerry Reed pickin' can be a bitch," Shepard said, taking the Martin from him and thanking her dad for sending music her way. "Jerry had a clawhammer pickin' style, Garrus … a down-pickin' style." As she began to play _Guitar Man_ she thanked her father again for sending the turian with a guitar to her and when he asked if she was okay ... "Allergies."

* * *

><p>He had gone to her just as soon as he could ... Grace had written to him almost daily since he had left the Arc and like Shepard had been with him, he needed to be honest with her. He had called her to arrange their evening together and he had asked to see her at her place. He wanted to see her in private so that he could let her know that he could no longer see her. That it was him and not her ... he knew that he would highlight that he believed that she would make someone a great wife and mother in the future. Shepard had been honest with him and it made him take stock of his life … He was not a kid anymore and he needed to start acting like a man. He would follow her example and be honest with Grace.<p>

As he stood before Grace's small apartment door he took a deep breath and then knocked.

"Kaidan," Grace almost squealed as she opened the door and put her arms around his neck, "I've missed you!"

"Have you?" Kaidan asked, looking into her blue eyes and wishing that he could love her.

"I even made your favorite," Grace beamed as he pulled away and moved towards her oven.

"I can smell it," Kaidan smiled, opening the oven and looking at the baked butternut squash-and-cheese polenta.

"Close the oven door," Grace scolded as she pulled him away and closed it. "It has another half hour to go."

"Grace, I have something to tell you," Kaidan said, looking at the bottle of Hennessy.

"I have something to tell you first," Grace said, pushing him into a chair.

"Okay," he said as she pulled a chair next to him and sat down. "Please promise that you won't be mad."

A big part of Kaidan hoped that she was about to tell him that she had found another. He hoped that but ... by the look on her face, he knew that was wishful thinking. "I won't be mad … what is it?"

"I'm pregnant," she said, praying that he would not be disappointed. "I know that we are just dating … that we have never spoken about babies … but … I'm pregnant!"

_Pregnant?_ Kaidan felt his stomach drop as he looked into her smiling face. _Pregnant?_ He forced a smile as he ran his fingers through his hair, "A baby?"

"You're not mad are you?" Grace asked just as Kaidan took her hands in his. "Please say you aren't mad."

"No," Kaidan answered, feeling the walls coming in closer. "When is it … I mean when …"

"March," she continued to beam. "We are having a spring baby … I think it's a boy!"

"A boy?" Kaidan asked, wishing for a stiff drink.

Grace nodded, "But I thought that we could go to my doctor and have the sex confirmed."

"Yeah," Kaidan stood up and poured himself a glass of _Hennessy _on the rocks … tonight he was going to get good and drunk. He had come here to break up and now … _a father_. He couldn't leave her now … not now. _Pregnant! _Kaidan ran his fingers through his hair again as he took a good long drink. _What are my parents going to say?_ He thought as Grace took his glass and after placing it on the counter hugged him again.

"I love you," Grace said, kissing his neck.

"We will need a bigger place," Kaidan said, looking at the small kitchen.

"I have started looking at two bedrooms," Grace said. "There is a place close to the Thirsty Turtle that I thought you might like … It even has an office."

Kaidan let go of Grace and took back his drink, "Sounds good ... Let's look at it tomorrow."

As Kaidan went into the living area and sat down on the couch, Grace smiled as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. She had known that Kaidan would not leave her when he found out that he was going to be a father … and now all that was left was to get him to marry her. Everything in its own due time, she smiled as she brought the bottle of _Hennessy _to him_ .._. "Tonight is your night, hon."

* * *

><p>She was curled up in the corner of the room when Shepard entered. She was nineteen but looked much older and Shepard could see the scars on her legs and arms ...<em> bastards!<em> She also knew that if the young woman's shirt was off she would see the branding on her back. As she closed the door softly behind her, the female who would not look at her hid her head in her arms. Shepard took two steps in and as she looked at the curled up body, she could not help but see Ricky in that position. They had both been taken by the batarians and after thirteen years this one had been saved.

Shepard had not come in any kind of uniform but in casual wear. Her pants and shirt were earth tone and her shoes were plain white deck shoes. She did not want anything on her to frighten the young girl … Shepard moved a little closer when she heard the female start to moan. "It's okay," Shepard whispered as she stopped and slowly sat on the floor just a few feet away. "I'm not here to hurt you."

_Stop! Please no! What are you?_ The frightened girl thought as she curled up tighter. She didn't understand where the masters had gone and why she was with other animals … animals that spoke loudly … that did not seem to belong to the masters … that moved about freely. No. This could not be real. Animals needed masters.

"My name is Elizabeth … Elizabeth Shepard," She said, looking at the frightened girl. "I grew up in Highland Falls … do you know where that is?"

_Highland Falls? Mindoir … Fires_, her mind raced as she began to rock and moan louder. _Highland Falls … Smells of smoke and burning meat. Caged. Animals. _"Animals … animals."

"Animals?" Shepard asked, keeping her voice soft, but the girl did not respond. "Do you have a name?"

The girl moaned but did not look up. _Animals! Animals don't get names. The masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. No names. Where is my master?_

"In the fall my parents and I would go to Seedland," Shepard saw that the young girl had peeked at her when she mentioned her hometown. "We would pick olives … have you ever been there?"

_She remembers a lot of things,_ she thought to herself. _Where is my master? Leave her alone._

"There was a nice couple that lived there," Shepard looked up at the two-way mirror and then back at the girl. "They were named Alfred and Jane Douglas."

The moans and rocking increased at the mention of the girl's parents. _Daddy ... mommy ... melting! Her fault. Bad girl._

"They had a daughter … her name was … oh, I forget … Tabitha?" Shepard looked over at her. "No ... Toledo?"

"Talitha," came the whispered response as she started to cry but then stopped_. No … must not think of them … __When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water ... So she doesn't think anymore._ "She sees them ... mommy … daddy."

Shepard moved just a little closer, "I know it was scary … that day in Seedland … then later when they took you to Highland Falls … to Main Street. I was there, Talitha. I was there."

"Lying!" The girl cried out and it made Shepard jump slightly. "You get hit for lying ... Get the buzz or the burning … Liar!" _You can't have been … You aren't … aren't broken. Animals lie! Where is my master?_

"No," Shepard said, "My father tried to save me but they set him on fire … they even took my best friend away."

Talitha looked up and whispered, "She pretends to be dead ... if she's dead, they won't take her … they won't hurt her … Did you pretend?" Talitha moved closer, her right hand twitching as she whispered even softer, "But they know ... she hopes they'll leave ... but they know … they put her in the pen. She didn't fight. She was already broken when they put the wires in. Broken … They are watching now." _She knows … she can't escape. They have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far, they take your brains away. The master ... where is he?_

"No one is watching," Shepard said as she looked up at the two-way mirror again. "You are safe, Talitha. There are people here to help you … to protect you."

"She doesn't want to see other animals," Talitha whispered, turning her back to the mirror as she wrapped herself around Shepard. "They're not real … They can't be real." _They can't see her. If the animals can see her, then this is real. That was real … But it can't be. _"The wires. The chains. The hitting." _This doesn't happen to her. It's another girl._

Shepard hugged the girl back as she felt the anger rising in her … she had to find Ricky and soon. She could feel how this girl was on the verge of insanity and the thought that Ricky was out there … _like this_. _No. I have to find him._ "Talitha … were there others? In the cages? The pens? Were there others?"

"They're yelling ... Run. Hide," Talitha mumbled. _They hit the masters. But the masters, they have lights and hoses. Daddy's … He's melting! Shhhhhhh … She doesn't want to see that! Don't make her look. Don't look! Stupid, stupid!_

"Talitha," Shepard pulled her closer, "Do you remember if there were others?"

"Others … other animals," Talitha whispered. "They can't escape ... masters have chains. Wires. Needles. You go too far … they take your brains away. She doesn't want to be there anymore. In the pen ... In the cages. Lying quiet while they do things to her ... hurt her."

Shepard grit her teeth as she remembered Rurik's Grocer and then looked at this broken girl, "It's okay … You are safe now. All the masters are dead."

"Not dead," Talitha looked around wild-eyed and then buried her face in Shepard's chest, "They are waiting." _Dirty girl. Stupid girl ... She deserves it! It … it happens to her. Doesn't it? They see her, so it's real. She doesn't want it to be real. No. This isn't real. The masters are waiting._

"No, Talitha," Shepard whispered, rocking her as they sat on the floor. "The masters are gone … they won't hurt you anymore."

_Just like mommy_, Talitha thought as she closed her eyes and lost herself in the warmth of Shepard and the rocking, "Will she have bad dreams?"

"No," Shepard whispered, kissing the girl on the forehead. "No bad dreams."


	79. Chamber Of Twenty-Two

The Consilium Estate overlooked the city of Armali … the backside crawling down the hillside towards the city while the front faced the Serenite Park. Benezia had purchased the land in her fourth century and had insisted that the design contain no hard angles … _I want the home to feel like an asari with curves and not feel closed off … it must also be open to the sky where possible and have water and fire in all the main areas_. The home had taken over three decades to complete as Benezia carefully chose the type of stones, wood and glass to be used. Once the home was complete, there had been so many celebrations, parties and dances held within her … but as Tatiaria pulled up to the home, she knew that the Matriarch would never breathe life into her again. Now it was up to her daughter to give it life and Tatiaria hoped that the young asari would not leave the home for at least the next few seasons.

The Matriarch had been placed in the meadows of Agelast just a few days past and the days following had required Tatiaria and Liara to see that all properties, titles, seats and monies were transferred over into Liara T'Soni's name. The joint account was kept open to Liara as everything else was placed under Tatiaria's control and would not be relinquished until Liara was two and a half centuries old. The seats that Benezia held were to be filled by Tatiaria or her appointee and not Liara, given her lack of years. All of this made the young asari sigh in relief. She knew that she was not old enough or wise enough to be in complete control of the Benezia T'Soni Estate. Having her Theia control it on her behalf made the pressure of her mother's passing less crippling.

As Tatiaria entered the home, the first thing that she noticed was the change over the fireplace in the main entrance. It used to display a painting of the Crysta Sea by the famous asari painter Ekliar in memory of where Benezia's daughter was created. Now an elious painting at 144.3 cm × 162.4 cm hung in its place … Tatiaria smiled up at it. _Mother's Whisper_ had been painted by Liara and the shades of yellow, orange and pink represented the Matriarch. The painting in its swirls of her colors brought the warmth of the Matriarch into the room and as Tatiaria moved further into the home she saw no other changes by Liara had been made.

The servant informed Tatiaria that the mistress of the house was in the reading room. Tatiaria knew that her sister's only daughter would be in there working through the Matriarch's personal papers. She had been so proud of Liara's displays of emotional strength, sympathy shown to others and courage to display honor in front of thousands at her mother's funeral. She had been a perfect daughter and Tatiaria hoped that her own daughter would be just as strong and above reproach when she passed away. She knew that her own daughter was older but Liara had always been a step ahead of Sibila in the maturing process. This is another reason why Tatiaria preferred her daughter to be around Liara and not the other maidens that she would go out with on Illium.

Her niece had also surprised her when she had moved inside her to ease the separation the first day she was home. Liara had always been strong within a meld and Benezia had cautioned her younger sister to keep control … _Do not move outside her comfort or she could hurt you._ _She is strong, sister … almost as strong as I was at her age. Not quite, but close._ Tatiaria had found that to be true and over the years she had limited the times that they had shared. When she discovered that her daughter was sharing with Liara it had worried her but only for a second. She knew that Liara loved her daughter and would do anything to protect her. Anything.

Given Liara's strength, Tatiaria was always careful when sharing with her niece and as she began to move inside her she was cautious. She knew that the asari would be in pain but the pain was not as raw as she had expected. Her screams were deep but someone else had already eased some of her pain … well, not really eased but … someone had heard her screams … someone had felt her loss … someone had given her a shoulder … Liara had trusted someone … someone not asari. Tatiaria could tell that the individual was not asari by the fact that Liara showed no signs of true succor. _Not asari,_ Tatiaria thought as she moved Liara back to her center. _She must have hurt whoever she moved into_ … _a salarian_? Tatiaria knew that Liara always befriended salarians with their quick minds and hoped that whoever it was, was one of them. The pain would have been less for that species than a turian or a … _no; she would never trust a krogan_.

She wanted to ask Liara who she had confided in … who the non-asari was that she had opened up to … but there would be time for that later. Her thoughts never moved toward Shepard even though her daughter had said that Liara had a desire for her. Tatiaria had dismissed her daughter's claim since she knew how her niece was asari-centric. Sibila in her youth must have misunderstood and believed the lie that Liara and this Shepard followed to get near the Matriarch. When she asked Ipomona, the older asari protected the privacy of both Liara and Shepard. Tatiaria had seen vids of the human and while she was attractive … "she also is a warrior," Tatiaria told her mate. "Liara would never desire someone like that."

"Too perioikos?" Delana asked. "Maybe she is like Benezia … likes a little roughness in her pleasures."

"My sister did not…" Tatiaria started but then remembered both the skyball player Marcella and the field hand Aethyta. "… okay … but Liara is different."

"I have seen her dance," Delana laughed. "With her grace she inspires one to touch."

"Touch not grapple," Tatiaria argued. "This human could not please her physically or mentally."

"And if Liara is fond of this human?" Delana asked. "What then?"

"Anything outside of fondness," Tatiaria answered. "I would forbid it … but Liara is too young to worry about these things. Once she has reached another century or so … we will need to start looking at potential companions for her. Benezia would want that."

"I disagree," Delana said. "Benezia would let her choose … even if she disagreed as she did with that professor. After that learning experience, I believe that Liara will choose wisely her next time. Eveline is a sound choice. Trust her, Tati ... as Benezia would."

_Benezia_ … Tatiaria needed to know how her beloved sister died. The official cause of death was asphyxiation due to a poisonous gas leak in Binary Helix … but Tatiaria knew that her sister would have easily survived that. As she and Aikaterine prepared the Matriarch's body for her final journey she had seen the wound over the heart and that only confirmed her suspicions. Liara was there on Noveria when the Matriarch died and Tatiaria wondered if she knew more than she was telling. She wondered if Liara was hiding the truth from her on what had happened to her older sister. But this too would have to wait.

Instead she had focused on helping Liara move past the separation from her mother and as Liara cried out deep inside, Tatiaria led her to a place that hurt less … she shared Liara's loss of her mother … she heard Liara's screams and comforted her. She reminded her of the cycle of death … pain, reflection, gratefulness, acceptance, peace. She reminded her that Benezia would always be a part of her and that she would bring honor to her mother's memory by staying strong. _You were her light_, Tatiaria impressed upon her. _You were everything she wanted … you were her dream come to life._

* * *

><p>Councilor Tevos had been standing in the center of the Chamber of Twenty-Two for over two hours as she looked up at five of the Matriarchs. The Chamber was located in the Asari Republic building close to the Serrice Temple of Athame. It was here that the twenty-two great cities of the Asari were represented by Matriarchs of each region. They did not create laws for governing but came together to discuss advances, changes and concerns within their communities … they came together to share their experiences, wisdom and enlightments … or at least that was the official reason.<p>

Below the Chamber held the secrets of the asari as well as the true biographies of the Matriarchs. These biographies were called the Asari Legacy of Matriarchs and were placed in their private library ... another version that was censored and at times rewritten altogether were placed in the public libraries. Sometimes the truth had no value and could only create harm if known … it was the responsibility of the Matriarchs to understand when truth should see the light or be put into darkness. Today was only the beginning for the five Matriarchs in that room to determine what would be the Matriarch Benezia's private and public legacy. The five had been chosen by the High Priestess of Athame … her reasons her own and not shared with the asari.

The five had read the report submitted by the Councilor and it filled them with confusion. How could Benezia T'Soni follow a turian? How could she follow someone that appeared to be working not only against Thessia but the galaxy as a whole? But the two items in the report that concerned them the most was how she had lost control of her own will … and also used the Erinys? This ability to destroy with her mind was not found in all asari. It was a gift that a handful was born with and it was believed that those individuals had been touched by the Goddess of War and Hunting, Kurinth, while still within their mother's womb. No asari had used that gift in front of outsiders unless they were the intended victim … Benezia had used it and not only on her own but in front of other species.

As questions from the Matriarchs were asked of Councilor Tevos she moved her head and sometimes her body to face the questioner … The seats were placed in a U around her with each seat carved from the wood of its region, the seat in the color of its flag and the seal of the Matriarch hung above it. Tevos as she looked around the room had to fight from looking at the center seat … the seat of Armali. The six previous times that Tevos had appeared in this Chamber it had always been the occupant of that seat that had made her feel calm and welcomed. Without her there … the chamber seemed colder and less welcoming.

"I have lived over nine centuries," Matriarch Sophronia said to the others. "I have seen wars, betrayals, murders … corruption. I have seen good souls sour after the years brought them pain and disappointments. But I have never known a Matriarch to turn on her people … to turn on Thessia. Never."

"Nor have I," Matriarch Aleta dropped her head. "I have known … I mean … knew Benezia for over six centuries. Our mothers were dear friends and to think that she would have … even for a second … lost her way, forgot her people … it cannot be true."

"As all of you know," Matriarch Celandine added, "Benezia and I had many disagreements … most in this chamber. But it was never about her vision or love of Thessia. She had one of the greatest passions for us … she wanted to see that we led with respect, understanding and always with an open-mind towards the lesser races."

"If Benezia were here she would not appreciate your use of the word lesser," Matriarch Nephele said.

"Just one more argument we will not hear," Matriarch Atti said.

"I am sure that many of you will try and be her voice," Celandine said and then focused her attention back to the asari Councilor, "As such … I cannot believe the report that you submitted. She would never have turned her back on Thessia … on us … on her daughter."

"Liara," Aleta nodded. "She would have been proud of her daughter's honoring. Her poise was that of a matron … and Tatiaria following the customs of Messonia and the Goddess Piares … Benezia would have loved that."

Tevos nodded as she remembered how Dr. Liara T'Soni had greeted her in Armali when the Councilor had attended the burial of the Matriarch. She had been proud of Liara's carriage and manners during the entire day and evening … "She would have been very proud of her daughter."

"So true," Sophronia said. "Dr. T'Soni has always been sensible and intelligent ... So much like the Matriarch."

"She is stronger than Benezia," Aleta said. "When Matriarch Dianthe passed … Benezia was crushed. I can still see the tears that were given at her mother's burial. But Liara shed no tears and comforted others … She was what Benezia wanted to be."

"True," Matriarch Livia said, as she surprised everyone by her presence.

"Livia," Celandine said, as the Grameno of the T'Soni line headed for the seat of Armali, "we were not informed that you would be attending this meeting."

"No … you were not," Livia said as she walked up the steps and took the seat of her city. "But after reading the report regarding my sister's daughter …" Matriarch Livia turned to Tevos, "… she used the Erinys? The gift of the Goddess Kurinth against her own? In front of outsiders?"

"Livia," Atti said, "Is it appropriate for you to be here?"

"I have permission by Thusia," Livia said, naming the High Priestess. "She forwarded me the report."

"Did your niece confide in you?" Nephele asked, shifting forward in her seat.

"No," Livia answered. "But I have spoken with some of Benezia's followers and she did reveal her plans to them … She had joined this SpecTRe to turn him away from his darkness. But it appears that my niece may have lost her way into that very darkness."

"Lost her way?" Celandine could not believe it. "I have known … knew … Benezia for over five centuries. She would have never lost her way … something is wrong."

"I would agree," Sophronia said. "We will have her acolytes and commandos brought before us."

"And her daughter?" Atti asked. "Do we question her?"

"Liara will answer any questions," Livia said. "I will have her brought before you in the morning."

"I would also add the human SpecTRe to this list," Sophronia said. "Her report is most troubling and before I put any faith in it … I must look into her eyes. Into her mind."

"I am afraid that the SpecTRe is unable to leave her current assignment," Tevos said, looking up into the steel grey eyes of Sophronia. "But as soon as it is complete … I will make that request."

"Not a request," Atti said. "Once her current assignment is complete … you will bring her to us."

"Of course," Tevos bowed, feeling the weight of the centuries staring down at her.

* * *

><p>Liara had fallen asleep at her mother's desk and it made Tatiaria smile. It made her remember all those times before when the young asari would do that very thing as she did her homework and Benezia would pick her up and place her in her lap, <em>isn't she beautiful, Tati? To think that I almost did not meet her … that I almost chose to not bring her into my life. <em>It was true. Benezia had never wanted a daughter until she had seen her own sister give birth. As she watched the love shared between the two it reminded her of the love with her own mother … _we have so many decades to share_. That last thought made Tatiaria choke up. It was just the opposite. Benezia and Liara had shared only ten decades together … just a blink of an eye to the asari.

"Mother," Sibila greeted as she entered the reading room with Eveline Dellis.

"Did Liara not sleep in her own bed?" Tatiaria asked, looking at Eveline.

"I tried," Eveline answered, "but she insisted on reading one more thing … then one more thing … she is stubborn."

"Liara," Tatiaria called as she gently shook her niece. "Wake up … you must get ready for the meeting at the T'Soni Tower. The board must see that I have your approval and trust to sit in Benezia's seat."

"Theia?" Liara slowly woke up and looked at Tatiaria. "What time is it?"

"A chime past sunup," she answered. "Now go get ready for the board meeting."

"I'll help you," Eveline smiled as she took Liara's arm.

"Why must Liara attend this boring meeting with you?" Sibila asked as the two walked into the main living area. "We could be here playing wisp or lounging in the alneu."

"To show an undivided front to the others," Tatiaria explained. "In times past there have been families who have struggled against each other for power … prestige … the honor. We must show that Liara has complete trust in me. That the T'Soni family is united and that Benezia's wishes were sound."

"Li-Li has been through so much," Sibila said as she hugged her mother. "Please protect her … and promise that you will not leave me so early."

"Of course not," Tatiaria fought from crying as she held her daughter. "I could never leave you … or Little … I will not leave either of you until you are both with daughters of your own. Promise."

"Daughters?" Sibila pulled away and as she kissed her mother's tears said, "No … daughters … for … me."

"No?" Tatiaria stopped her kisses. "But I insist."

"Ugh," Sibila moved towards the outside and the view of Armali below. "The thought of being a mother … Liara can have daughters for the both of us. I would much rather spend my nights in pleasure than raising a daughter as silly as me."

"Was I ever this young?" Tatiaria raised a brow at her daughter.

* * *

><p>"Thank you for being here," Liara said as she stepped out of the shower and saw Eveline waiting with a cup of sitruuna.<p>

"Where else would I be?" Eveline smiled as she handed Liara the cup and picked up a towel.

"When are you scheduled to return to Nos Astra?" Liara asked, moving into the bedroom.

"I must be back to work by the start of the next calendar," Eveline answered as she put the towel around a dripping Liara. "Stop moving … you are getting everything wet."

"What?" Liara had not realized that she had not toweled off before moving from the washroom. She had found it hard to focus these past few days and wished that her mother would come home. Wished that the past few days were not real ... that it had just been a cruel dream and that the Matriarch was really away on business and not in the meadows.

"Just stand still," Eveline said as she began to dry Liara. "When do you return to the humans?"

"I do not know," Liara answered, "I have not decided … it will hurt my Theia when I leave."

"Remember what Liqui said to you," Eveline reminded her. "Humans see time different than us. The longer you are away the more she will doubt."

"Time," Liara shook her head as she sat on her bed.

The conversation with Liqui had happened the day of the burial in the privacy of Liara's suite. Eveline had been there along with Aikaterine during that very private discussion. It was a sign to both Aikaterine and Liqui that Eveline was more than a passing fling to Liara. She was a friend. Liara had confided in the asari throughout the years and her desire for the human was no exception. It was very clear to the others that Eveline knew of Liara's attraction and relationship with Shepard. It was clear that Liara had trusted Eveline with her feelings about Shepard and that she wanted her near during these darker times. Their growing friendship had taking shape as they shared secrets with each other and given each other support when times were not so calm ... Liara knew that Eveline would never betray her and both asari felt protective over each other.

"Does she truly please you?" Eveline asked, wanting to know that the human was worthy of her friend and occasional lover. "Does she please you as much as an asari?"

Liara thought of Shepard's smile and the way her eyes lit up when she was teasing her … "She does. I do not always understand her but she makes me feel … Oh, Evie, I cannot explain how her smile makes me feel but …" Liara placed her hand over her temple … "It feels like a sunburst."

"But does she please you?" Eveline pushed, touching Liara's breast. "If you are going to keep yourself only for her … just to please her … will you be satisfied?"

"Oh," Liara stood up and moved to her desk. "She is different … her sounds, her needs … her taste. To kiss her … to feel her and know that her body betrays her … that it pushes towards me despite her sometimes not wanting it to ... I cannot stop touching her in those moments. My body betrays me and becomes hers. It wants to please her …"

"But does she please you?" Eveline got up and moved towards her. "Does she touch you … taste you … as you do her?"

Liara did not have the answer. She had never let Shepard touch her in that way … it scared her. It was true that the asari felt no shame when it came to their bodies and they knew that other species' desired them … One might even argue that the asari were a little too confident at times. But Liara knew what had pleased Shepard in the past and it was not in the form of her body. She worried that if she let Shepard really touch her … taste her … she might realize that Liara was too different. Or worse ... Maybe Shepard would not even be able to do those things that Liara wanted her to do. Maybe Shepard would deny her needs if Liara shared them. These fears had pushed Liara to leave Shepard too drained in her bed too even try and reciprocate.

If she had confided this to most asari they would have not understood. They would have accused her of being ashamed of her own species … of not embracing her gifts. They would not understand unless they had been in the same situation and cared ... Aikaterine understood. She had suffered the same doubts with her lover. She had been in the same situation with Liqui and she encouraged Liara to give Shepard a chance. _I saw the way she looked at you,_ Aikaterine had whispered to her. _Your very moves seduce her, Liara. Let her show you what their kind can do. Share all your secret places with her … I have a feeling that she can delight you. And I could see in her gaze that she wants to. Do not be afraid of opening up to her, Liara. Benezia always said that you were fearless and driven when it came to what you wanted … be those things with her._

Those words had made Liara even more hesitant at returning to the Commander. There had only been two physically intimate nights together and Liara worried that once she was back on the Normandy … _To let her touch me_ … it made Liara both sweat and flush. She wanted to return to Shepard. She wanted to be close to her … to be waiting for her when she came back from a mission. To be there to support her. But it wasn't just the fear that kept her away. She also needed to focus on her new responsibilities … on making sure that the memory of her mother was protected. She needed to help those who had loved her mother heal and she needed to ensure that everything could run smoothly in her absence. There was a time and a place for everything.

As Liara looked at Eveline she told herself that she was too young to be focused on any one person. She felt that given her lack of years she would be a disappointment to the Commander. True she was much older than Shepard but Liara knew that she was still changing and Shepard was already in the stage of mating. If only she could be more like Aikaterine with Liqui … wise, mature and calm ... more experienced. But Eveline's question had made her think about Shepard's mouth being pressed upon her in wanting places … her tongue, her long fingers … _stop it_, Liara told herself as the possibilities of what the Commander could do in her bapac way made Liara breathe deeper. The unknowing excited her and the possibility of the Commander touching her in a new way … this spoke to the maiden in her. She wished that her Elizabeth was standing where Eveline was … she would … _join with her_.

"Liara?" Eveline brushed her cheek. "What is it?"

"I am tired," Liara answered, afraid of what she had just thought but pushing it aside as she kissed Eveline on the lips. "Can we speak of other things?"

"Of course," Eveline answered as she took Liara by the arm. "Let us choose something to wear … something that shows confidence in your Theia … shall we?"

"Yes," Liara said as they went to her walk-in closet. "Something yellow for mother."


	80. The Matriarch's Key

She hated leaving her home … her domain ... where someone was always trying to unseat her or steal from her. But she had heard that the Matriarch Benezia had died and knew that no matter how hard ass her mother was … Aethyta would need her. _Besides_, she told herself, _it's been too long since I've seen the tough old bitch._ Who knew how much longer she would have her mother, a Matriarch, in the galaxy. So here she was arriving in Nos Astra and headed straight for her mother's home located north of the city. As she drove the rented skycar to the T'Louck residence, Arena looked down at the buildings and frowned … she hated this place. She hated any city that dressed up its face to hide its scars. She preferred places that showed its scars and blood and tears and spit. She liked her surroundings and her lovers the same … brutal and bruised and honest and raw. This place was a dressed up whore and she liked hers naked. But here she was … heading to see her mother. _Let's hope that you haven't hurt herself_, Arena frowned as she moved past a skycab. _You always were a fool over that asari ... no matter how much you cursed her._

Aethyta had not slept since she had heard that Benezia was gone and now as the morning light rose over the Aminge Sea she counted five days … Five days of no sleep and four days since her Nezzy was placed in the meadows of Agelast. "Damn you, Nezzy!" was all she could say as she dropped down onto her red leather sway back chair and looked out the main living area's floor to ceiling windows. She tried to get lost in the Aminge Sea but it reminded her of the Crysta Sea and seeing Benezia come dripping out of the water to her. _You were mine, weren't you Nezzy ... weren't you?_

She had to see the Matriarch and began to re-watch for the fifth time, home vids of the two in Benezia's Messonia home ... it was there that Benezia had mated with her ... _Liara_, Aethyta shook her head. _Shit, Nezzy!_ The Matriarch was on the screen smiling at the camera and Aethyta cursed when a visitor was announced at her door. "Who the fuck is there?" she growled as she pulled up the monitor to her entrance. "Go away!"

"Mother," Arena's voice hard and slightly agitated. "Open the door ... I don't like standing out here like some beggar."

"Arena?" Aethyta slapped the panel to let her daughter in and as she headed up the stairs to the main living area … Aethyta pulled out a bottle of Bellator that was distilled on the turian planet Taetrus.

"I see that you still do everything in blood clot human," Arena said as she looked around at all the red in the room. "I guess if you do a hit on a human in your home … no one will notice ... and you won't have to clean it up."

"Did you come all this way to bitch about my design choices?" Aethyta asked as she handed her daughter a full glass of the turian alcohol. "If so, get your ass back to that dry rock of yours."

"My daughter thought that you might need me," Arena lied as she walked over to the window and looked out. Arena knew that the death of Benezia would hurt her mother and needed to make sure that the old asari did not do anything foolish. But Aethyta had raised her daughter to be tough ... _tough like a krogan_ … so Arena had to not seem too weak while trying to help her mother.

"How is your daughter?" Aethyta asked, taking her seat again and wishing that Benezia was there.

"Better than both of us," Arena answered as she looked over at her mother. "How are you doing?"

"It's times like these that I wish we could get shit-faced like the other races," Aethyta answered. "That we could … Fuck!"

Arena watched as her mother smashed her glass against the wall, barely missing the giant windows. "Two more inches and you would have had a true open-concept floor plan … right out to the sea."

Aethyta stood and picked up her chair … smashing it through the great window and out onto her balcony overlooking the sea. "Now I have an open-concept!"

Arena looked at her mother, narrowed her eyes and asked, "Did that feel good, mother?"

"Fuck you!" Aethyta said, looking at the glass all over the room. "What do you know about pain? About loss?"

"Nothing," Arena answered, moving away from the busted out window towards her mother as she took a drink. "You taught me to never show weakness … to never let anyone too near the heart … you should take your own advice."

"Yeah," Aethyta began to cry and cursed her tears … cursed the gods that took her Nezzy … cursed in her father's tongue … cursed as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. She hated weakness and these tears were weakness. She looked at her daughter, strong and unbending and emotionless. "You hungry, kid?"

Arena looked at her mother and nodded, "A little ... you want me to make us something to eat?"

"Give me a few and I'll make my famous ninaco just for you," Aethyta said as she headed for the kitchen. "Bring the bottle of Bellator … it may not get us drunk but I like the way it tears down my throat."

"I thought you preferred Ryncol for that," Arena said, grabbing the bottle as she looked at an image of Aethyta, Etera and Arena on the mantel. The setting was Whitecap, Belan, where Arena grew up with her mother and the hanar that her mother had mated with. Arena gave a small smile at seeing her mother's hanar mate … the one soft memory that she had in her life … and then went into the kitchen. "Why don't we get a few asses and party it up?"

Aethyta was bent over the counter, struggling for air as her body convulsed. Arena leaned against the opposite counter and watched as her mother, even in her pain, refused to make a sound as the tears fell. She would try and ease the Matriarch's pain but the ΕπZρεάζYω shared between these two had always been more like a battle … _Death Race 2000_ meets _Rollerball_. The love was there but it was covered by each asari's need to control … to be in the seat of power. So Arena was quiet as she watched her mother struggle with her pain without reaching out to her ... without trying to comfort her. Not that she was a comforting type, anyway. She was just like her mother … never good with comforting or being soft or being gentle … a fact that sometimes angered her as she raised her own daughter. She had wanted to be different as a mother, more like Etera with her teachings and warmth. But she struggled with her daughter since being gentle was weak to her and showing weakness went against who she had become … who her mother had taught her to be. She had been raised to be strong, independent and unapologetic in spirit.

Arena stood up from the counter and put the bottle down on the counter as her mother slowly gained control. It had taken her mother awhile to regain her strength but Arena had just waited. Now that she appeared to be over the worse of it, Arena poured them both new drinks … _Oh, Nezzy_, Aethyta fought back making a sound as her body continued to jerk slightly. _Damn you for leaving me … damn you. What about your kid? You left her with that stuck-up little cunt!_

"Drink this," Arena pushed the glass under her mother's face. "I'll make your famous ninaco or we might starve."

"Never fall in love," Aethyta told her daughter as she downed the drink. "It will rip you apart."

"Love?" Arena laughed as she pulled out the ingredients that she needed, "You always told me to never play the sucker … I don't know how to love, mother … It seems an asari and hanar gets you a cold one."

"No," Aethyta said, pouring herself another drink. "You aren't cold, kid. You're just not stupid."

Arena smirked at her mother's unique way of complimenting her. "Why didn't you go to the burial?"

Aethyta looked at her daughter preparing their meal and didn't really have an answer. She knew that there were others there that would not be happy to see her … but that wasn't it. When did she ever give a crap what others thought? She went where she wanted to. Period. She didn't want to see Benezia in the dyna … it would make it real. "There was no one there I wanted to see."

"And her daughter?" Arena asked, as she added spices as she cooked. "Is that little princess still in school?"

"Liara?" Aethyta leaned against the counter again, her eyes red and burning. "The kid is a professor and an archaeologist ... she has been off on some dig … Prothean crap, I think. I'm sure that Nezzy's bitch of a sister is taking care of her now."

Arena nodded as she finished preparing their meal … "This should be ready soon so set the table."

Aethyta grabbed plates and looked at her daughter … "Thanks, kid."

"I was in the neighborhood," Arena said without emotion or looking over at Aethyta.

* * *

><p>Liara had been nervous as she prepared to enter the Chamber of Twenty-Two and once the two doors opened her heart began to pound and her hands began to slightly shake. It was said that when all twenty-two of the seats were filled, a humming vibration could be felt miles away. She had asked her mother if that was true and the Matriarch had laughed. <em>If there is a humming vibration<em>, she had told her, _then it is from all the centuries trying to fit inside that Chamber._

Today there was only six Matriarchs in that room but it was enough … Liara could feel the centuries looking down on her as she moved to the center of the room that was lit by the skylights in the dome above them. As she came to a stop in the center she greeted the Grameno of the T'Soni family first in the ancient Armali tongue and then she greeted the remaining Matriarchs in their own city's ancient tongues.

This had impressed the Matriarchs, not an easy feat, and pleased the Matriarch Livia. It showed all in that room that Benezia had trained her daughter well ... that she had been both patient and skilled at teaching her daughter dignity and discipline. Liara knew that all of her actions would be placed on the body of her mother and she was determined to bring only honor to her and the T'Soni name.

"Dr. Liara T'Soni," Matriarch Sophronia began, her steel grey eyes boring into the young asari, "On what authority do you enter into these walls?"

Liara looked at her Grameno and then at Sophronia, "On the authority of my ancestor, Cerelia of Thessia, and at the kindness of the Matriarchs themselves."

"Dr. T'Soni," Matriarch Atti said, "We honor the Matriarch Benezia and extend our deepest gratitude for her many gifts shared with us. In her passing she has left you great joy … and an understanding that life is truly precious and yet fleeting. May the cycle of death bring you more wisdom and compassion to the center of who you are."

"Thank you, Matriarch Atti," Liara gave a slight bow, "for your kind words and wisdom. It is my hope that the passing of the Matriarch gains me both compassion and understanding."

"Dr. T'Soni," Matriarch Celandine said, "We have requested your presence to answer a few questions about a report … We ask that you be honest and open in your responses."

"I would not show disrespect to this Chamber or the Matriarchs within by being dishonest in my answers," Liara said, praying that she could protect her mother and not say something that would cause her family harm.

"We know that you would not," Matriarch Aleta smiled, hoping that the young asari would not be foolish by trying to conceal things by omission either. So many asari tried to hide the truth in that Chamber but their false answers or hidden feelings were as clear glass to these Matriarchs … time had not just made them wiser but strengthened their gifts and opened their eyes.

"Dr. T'Soni," Matriarch Nephele began the questions, "What is your impression of the human SpecTRe named Elizabeth Shepard?"

"My impression?" Liara looked at Nephele then around the room at the other Matriarchs. She had not expected to be asked about Shepard and it scared her. Why were the Matriarchs interested in the human? Did they blame her for the Matriarch's death? If they did then they could condemn Shepard for not only killing a Matriarch but also a member of the Corallium Circle. If they did that then they would hurt Shepard … _no, they would condemn her to death_.

"Liara?" Livia shifted in her seat as she saw her sister's granddaughter hesitate.

"Forgive me," Liara looked at Livia. "I do not understand why the Chamber is asking about the Commander."

"It is not necessary that you understand," Sophronia said, her tone cold. "Only that you answer."

Liara took a deep breath and looked at Livia alone, "The Commander is what I wish that all humans were ... She is compassionate, intelligent, and protective of those weaker than she … The Commander is fierce in battle and allows an honorable death where possible. She is neither vain nor prideful when a victor but tries to leave those defeated with honor ... She has displayed a unique gift of always trying to understand the motivation of others without judgment or shame." Liara turned her head slightly to look at Sophronia, "She inspires others to follow her by her mere presence … and … with her character keeps them following her. That is my impression of the SpecTRe, Elizabeth Shepard."

The eyes of the Matriarchs turned black as they reached out to each other. Liara looked at the seat of Armali as she waited for the next question and remembered the one time that her mother had brought her here. They had visited the Temple of Athame and then her mother brought her here … The Chamber was empty and Liara had asked to see the Matriarch in her seat … Benezia had taken her seat and playfully looked scornfully down at her daughter and then smiled. Liara had raced up to her and plopped down on her lap. Now as she looked at her Grameno sitting in her mother's place she reached out to Benezia's memory … _I will not dishonor you, mother._

"Dr. T'Soni," Celandine broke the silence, her eyes a vivid blue again, "It is our understanding that you were with the Matriarch Benezia when she was killed."

_Killed_, the word made her flinch. "Yes."

Atti shifted forward, "Was her death justified?"

Liara looked at every face before she answered as she tried to think of the best answer … an honest answer that would harm no one. This would not be easy. "The Matriarch had been corrupted and believed that no matter what she did … the corruption was irreversible. It was with that knowledge that she requested the SpecTRe to help end her life."

Liara felt the shift in the room as the Matriarch's communicated again with each other. Had she been part of the meld she would have felt their panic and disbelief that Matriarch Benezia had lost control … had requested her own life to be ended. But no one in that Chamber doubted the sincerity of the young asari's words. Had the human murdered the Matriarch without cause then the daughter would have cried for justice. So they continued on hoping that they would get to the one answer they were looking for … _patience_, the Matriarchs whispered to each other.

"Dr. T'Soni," Aleta broke the silence, her eyes a pale grey again, "What caused this … corruption?"

"The Matriarch called it indoctrination," Liara answered. "She said that it was caused by a ship … no … not really a ship. It is something living and part of a race … a species called reapers."

"Reapers?" Celandine looked at Sophronia. "If these do exist … a species that can corrupt minds …"

".. and control Matriarchs," Aleta interrupted. "Was there anything in the archives about these reapers?"

"Nothing in the data cache so far," Atti said, wishing that the messages left by the protheans weren't so difficult to break. There was not one language used in the messages but thousands … this had not stopped the asari from working through the data … it had just kept the advancements on a very slow pace. Any other species would have walked away in frustration or put it to the side but the asari were patient. They knew that in time they would break all the codes.

"Dr. T'Soni," Atti had now come to one item that they considered to be the most concerning although not the most important, "Are you aware of a gift called Erinys?"

"Yes," Liara answered, "It is said that the Goddess of War and Hunting, Kurinth, sometimes sleeps in the womb with a daughter … and as a parting gift she kisses her, leaving the ability to stop enemies with the mind."

"Was this gift used by the Matriarch?" Sophronia asked.

Liara remembered the screams of the asari as her mother's eyes turned black with flashes of silver slicing through them … "Yes."

"Did the others see?" Celandine ask. "Did they understand what she had done?"

"Understand? No. They did not understand," Liara answered.

"No one?" Sophronia asked, her eyes narrowing as she sat forward momentarily.

Liara stopped to try and remember what she saw and heard as she held her mother ... It was hard to relive those moments but she knew that it was necessary. "The krogan may have ... yes. He seemed to understand as if he had either witnessed it himself in the past or had been told about it. But the others … they did know that they had seen. It confused and scared them ... scared all of them except the Commander."

The room turned cold as the Matriarchs communicated. Liara knew that her answer brought fear to the room and she was not sure why. But she also knew in that instance that she had put everyone who had witnessed the Erinys in danger. They had seen one of the greater powers of the asari and this was not acceptable to the Matriarchs. But she misunderstood the shift … they were getting close to their real goal.

"How many were witnesses?" Atti finally asked.

Liara looked at Livia and did not want to be a part of this anymore, "My mother … the Matriarch Benezia … knew that if she did not use the Erinys then we would have died. She chose to save everyone in that room … I will not dishonor her or question her decision."

"Well said, daughter," Livia smiled. "The Matriarch Benezia never did anything without a clear understanding of the risks … We understand that, Liara. We are just trying to confirm the accuracy of the report issued to us. That is all. Do not try and understand or make assumptions as to the questions we ask ... just trust our wisdom and answer what is asked of you."

"I apologize, Grameno," Liara felt ashamed of her moment of weakness in the Chamber. "There were … five humans, a turian and a krogan."

"Dr. T'Soni," Sophronia said, "Just one more question. The report that was issued mentions that the Matriarch gave this SpecTRe coordinates to a relay ... How?"

This had been left out of Shepard's private report to the asari Councilor… the meld. Liara looked once more around the Chamber and wished she knew how much the Matriarchs knew of that event … did they know about her mother melding with Shepard? Liara knew that if she even tried to lie it would be caught even before it was halfway out of her lips. Best to tell the truth … "The Matriarch shared the information by joining with the … with Shepard."

This was what the Matriarchs had wanted to hear … why they really needed to know who was in that room. They had known that the Matriarch would have left a message for them hidden away in the mind of someone in that room. They had known it was not her daughter or Liara would have told them … no. It was someone else in that room. They had hoped for it. Now they knew. If the Matriarch had left her final words anywhere … it was in the SpecTRe. They needed her brought before them so that they could unlock it.

"Thank you, daughter," Livia smiled, "You may leave us now."

Liara bowed to each Matriarch and then turned to face the exit. She hoped that her answers did not put anyone at risk of being hurt or show shame on her mother. She knew that if she did anything wrong, Matriarch Livia would tell her later in the T'Soni Politia Villa located in Serrice. Both were staying there while in the city and Liara had still found it hard to believe that her mother's properties were now hers. That it was her residence and the Matriarch would never walk through it again.

As Liara exited the Chamber, the Matriarchs eyes were solid black once again as they united in mind to plan their next move. They knew that the seasons were growing darker and the inability to see what it was unsettled them … They were not use to being blind. The human SpecTRe held a key that they needed … the Matriarch's last words to them.

* * *

><p>As the asari Councilor, Ciara Tevos, took her seat on the starship that would carry her back to the Citadel she thought of Tatiaria T'Soni. She thought of the night before the Matriarch's burial when Tatiaria had surprised her and shown up at the home she was staying in. The owners of the estate just down the hill from the T'Soni Consilium Estate had vacated prior to the Councilor's arrival so that she could have privacy. Tatiaria had worn a sea green dress that was sheer on the top and needed someone to ease her pain. Her mate, Antonina Delana, knew that she could not help her deep wounds and suggested that she see her old lover, Tevos. Delana knew that her daer had loved the asari Councilor but that the union had been stopped for reasons she did not know … she had not cared when it meant that she would be with Tatiaria. But Delana did not like to see her Tati in such pain and sent her with an open heart to her daer's former erotas.<p>

She had come to Tevos only for comfort but that night started in trust and ended in passion. The hours entwined in each other's bodies as they joined in mind brought back memories of their past ... and the promises that they had made and then … broken. Each knew that in another life they might have been able to be together but not this one … all they could share was this moment. They were each called to different places in the galaxy and Tevos knew that Tatiaria was an asari who did not do pleasures outside of her primary relationship well. It was not her nature she seek out lovers and it was part of her that Tevos had loved. She too had always been considered odd by her family and friends as she wanted just one lover.

As Tevos kissed Tatiaria's nose she remembered how she had once contemplated mating with Tatiaria … but she had known that it would never happen. It would leave a mark on her daughter as a pure blood. If she was perioikos it would not matter but within the society that Tevos moved in … it was poison. Members of the Corallium Circle could break these rules and often did simply because they not only had the wealth but the Circle to protect their pure blood daughters. With the daughter's wealth and name she would never want … she was also admitted to all the exclusive places because of the Circle, which ensured that others would overlook her two asari creation.

Ciara Tevos was not a member of any of the twelve houses and so she knew that her daughter had to be of another race or be stigmatized. She had looked at Tatiaria and knew that her desires for her could never be … and it made her wish that they lived in a time pre-flight ... A time when all asari could mate without limits and carry a daughter from one that they had freely chosen from ... without repercussions.

Tevos' mind moved from Tatiaria to Liara T'Soni and she hoped that the Matriarchs were tender with her when she appeared in the Chamber … and she hoped that the young asari was completely truthful. There were rumors that some asari that had tried to lie before the Chamber had not been seen again. Was it true? She didn't know but she knew the power that was in that room.

She also wished she knew what the Matriarchs were searching for … After she had forwarded the private report that the SpecTRe Shepard had sent her regarding the events on Noveria they had sent for her immediately. She had read and re-read what she had sent but saw nothing that would require her brought before them. True, the Matriarch had used one of their darker gifts but it had been done to protect her daughter … and had redeemed herself to some degree. No … the Matriarchs were searching for something. The fact that they wanted the human SpecTRe brought before them concerned her as well. Non-asari were rare in the Chambers and Commander Shepard would be the first human to look upon the Chamber of Twenty-Two. Tevos knew that she was missing something … and whatever that was … the Commander was the key.


	81. Tiltots & Tim Tams

The ramen eatery, Laomian, was packed but it did not stop the SpecTRe from being seated right away. Upon her arrival she was quickly taken to a table in the back by the proprietor … a table that was reserved for members of the agency only. The SpecTRe took note of all the customers as she passed through the narrow but deep room as the asari singer Aspasia's _Void_ drowned out the chatter of the others. As she sat down, the owner, a tendril named Yuit, took her drink order and as he walked away she looked at another tendril, the species native to Alko, eating gyōza at the counter against the wall to her left.

The tendrils were one of many species that refused to leave their home planets or change their way of life after meeting outsiders. The tendrils believed in the right of the individual to self govern and as such, did not have a government or trust anything resembling a hierarchy. They did however have guidelines to follow in regards to their responsibilities to themselves and other tendrils as found in the teachings of Adsa. As they met other species they were neither impressed by nor interested in them and given both their aloofness and their planet's unwelcoming atmosphere … they were left alone for centuries.

The city Azartnaya was one of their youngest cities, founded ten centuries past, and was the only place on Alko that allowed outsiders, called _tiltots_ … a name meaning _governed_ in their language. It was rumored that this city was developed through a pact made by the tendril and the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Council but no one really knew for sure or if they did, they weren't talking. With a population of six thousand … half of them tendril and the other half a mix of the council races … the city was considered separate from the rest of the tendril world. All _tiltots_ that landed on Alko were restricted to the city and its port. To leave these areas was considered an act of aggression and could result in violence by the tendril.

Very few _tiltot_ influences were felt outside of this city and the only human things that had bled outside the lines were Japanese food and bluegrass music. Of course, only the tendrils knew this. There was much that the outsiders did not know about their kind … such as how many tendrils there were or what their other cities looked like from within. The few that had tried to find out more about them had simply disappeared. The majority of the species preferred to live away from the outsiders and even in the mixed city, relationships other than business relationships were not welcomed by the tendril ... Yuit, the owner of Laomian and the agency's Alko contact was no exception. He was curious about other species but like a scientist studying a bacteria, he did not feel anything more than curiousity. He had no desire to befriend or love these outsiders ... just to study them.

"Are we meeting someone today?" Yuit asked the SpecTRe as he placed a glass of elasa in front of her.

"Yes," Tela Vasir answered, sitting back in her chair. "A human ... female."

"A human?" Yuit looked puzzled. "I have never known you to associate with a human."

"She's with the agency," Tela answered, picking up her glass.

"A human in the agency?" Yuit asked then stopped to direct one of his waiters in their language and then looked again at Tela. "How unexpected."

"She seems to be the hope of her species," Tela said, pulling up the holo menu. "The weight must be immense."

"The weight?" Yuit asked, not understanding.

"Never mind, Yuit," Tela said, tired and not wanting to continue the discussion. She had been working on her current mission for the past few months non-stop in the Terminus Systems and was looking forward to a good night's rest at the Solongo Hotel. She would be returning to her mission in the morning ... hopefully without anymore outside interference.

"After your meeting," Yuit said, "You could look at my finances?"

Vasir nodded knowing that Yuit, like other tendrils, was not comfortable in accounting. His species did not have a currency outside of Azartnaya. Their kind bartered ... this for that. Tela Vasir's strength was in financial accounting and therefore her focus in the agency was primarily on financial matters … embezzlements and laundering. Her current mission had started with currency being laundered by the batarian named Kralum. The investigation led Tela to a human trafficking ring that if discovered by the humans could lead to some of the batarian's other _interests _coming to light. Interests that could result in the salarians becoming involved ... and then the turians ... and so forth. Everything was a domino. This potential domino of destruction had to be squashed and quickly.

All Tela Vasir needed was to assassinate the head of the organization and the various interests would splinter off from each other. She could then put out the most dangerous of the splinters and a galactic explosion could be doused before it ignited. Such was the life of a SpecTRe who had the mind of an accountant. She was close to finding her primary mark but Commander Shepard had started muddying the waters recently. It had frustrated her as the Commander had been seen on three planets that were part of the ring. Landed and investigated the transport of humans … _why?_ She was on the Saren case so why was she so off-course? This required Tela to also deviate from her goal and try and find out why.

_Humans_, Tela frowned as she took a drink and looked up at one of the feeds over the ramen bar. _So easily distracted from what is important. I still do not understand why Nihlus chose her._ _Nihlus_. She still missed him and wished that she had been sent after Saren instead of the human. Anyone that betrayed the Council … betrayed the balance … deserved death. _Nihlus_, she shook her head and fighting angry tears, focused on the feed that was showing a skyball match between the Armali Venitrux and the Thronion Lokrians. She was glad to see that the team from Thessia was beating the team from Trategos. _Thessia_, Vasir missed her home. Missed her daughter. Missed her family. But she knew that her sacrifices kept the galaxy just a little safer. That her personal sacrifices kept the galaxy balanced. If only the human would realize this as well. Being a SpecTRe was not about the _great I_ ... it was about protecting the galaxy from itself.

* * *

><p>Since leaving the Arcturus Station a month prior, the Normandy had traveled from cluster to cluster. Shepard, when not assisting the Alliance with their problems, had looked for clues on Saren's whereabouts as they fought the geth. Okay, she had also investigated the planet that Talitha had been found and a few other places but she had come up empty … and the diversions had not gone over well with a few of her trusted staff.<p>

"Commander," Pressly had privately said to her one evening in her quarters, "should I be concerned?"

"Concerned?" Shepard looked up from the datapad that contained Lt. Alenko's daily report.

"We seem to be spending time …" Pressly hesitated as the Commander's green eyes darkened, "… well, are we still focused on this Saren Arterius or … something else?"

Shepard looked away from him and back at the datapad, "I don't know what you mean."

"Forgive me," Pressly said, standing up. "My mistake. I know that you would not jeopardize our mission or lose sight on what we are out here for."

"Stopping Saren," Shepard said, as the Normandy was at that very moment heading for Wetrot again and that it had nothing to do with their mission … nothing to do with Saren. Nothing to do with the geth. Nothing to do with the Alliance. It was about Mindoir '70 and her best friend. Shepard had looked up and knew that her XO had been concerned about her decisions lately and smiled. "Thank you, Pressly."

"Ma'am?" Pressly looked confused, not realizing that his gentle handling of the Commander's temporary loss of focus had been what she needed. Done in a way that did not cause her to knee-jerk. A reminder that the galaxy needed her to stop Saren … not find a lost childhood friend. That her needs were secondary … that if she did not find Saren everyone would be enslaved or worse.

She had cancelled Wetrot and put the Normandy back on Saren's trail thanks to the soft questioning by her XO. As she had walked throughout the many areas of her ship, she looked at the faces of her crew and it had touched her. So many people depending on her to keep them on course … so many more needing her to solve the puzzle of Saren Arterius. Her needs, her wants, her pain was unimportant at the moment … if she failed she knew that all of them would be silenced. She could not lose sight again.

As she stepped into engineering and looked at the Tantalus drive core she found it hard to breathe as fear began to sweep over her. The fear that she was not good enough … smart enough … strong enough … worthy enough. There was nothing special about her … she was just a colonist, a preacher's kid. _Why me?_ She asked the drive core. _I don't want this … I can't do this._ Shepard, standing at the railing lowered her head and whispered, "I just want to find my friend and go home."

"Commander?" Shepard heard the familiar voice of the quarian say behind her.

"Joe," Shepard pushed her fear and doubts away as she turned to look at her reflection in the quarian's mask. "I thought you were off-duty."

"I am," Tali said, moving next to Shepard and looking up at the drive core. Tali had come to engineering where she found she could think better. She had started having feelings for Pvt Alcot Satake after Noveria and it was confusing her. She had never thought of dating outside of her own species before.

"Don't tell me that you are still having trouble sleeping," Shepard asked, looking at the drive core again.

"No," Tali answered, "It took me almost four months … but I'm sleeping well now. Only occasionally do I wake to the silence and worry that an engine has died or an air filter has shut down."

"I'm glad," Shepard smiled, "… uh, not that you worry, but that you sleep better."

The two looked at the drive core in silence as each were lost in their own thoughts until Tali said, "I still can't believe that they fit this core into the Normandy. I wonder how long it took."

"More than a week," Shepard laughed. "I wonder how many pieces it came in."

"More than one," Tali responded. "It would not have fit through the …"

Shepard had stopped listening as Tali began to theorize on what it took to build the core inside the Normandy. Her mind had wandered to Liara and hoped that she was doing well. There had been no communication between the two since Liara had left for Thessia. At first Shepard had tried drafting letters to her but in the end she never e-mailed them. A part of her felt that Liara being off the ship was for the best. That Liara was safe on her home planet and surrounded by those that really knew her ... that loved her. Shepard also realized that the asari had other commitments.

Shepard had scanned asari news nightly and had even found a news clip on the burial of the Matriarch Benezia … Shepard watched Dr. T'Soni stand next to her kin as her mother was laid to rest in a beautiful meadow. Shepard had shut the vid off after only a few minutes, unable to witness Liara in a very private setting with her own kind. Shepard had caught a glimpse of Liqiu Zhào and the only human stood out. It reminded Shepard how she did not belong in Liara's world ... as Liara would stick out in both Tybee Island and Highland Falls.

"A bird and a fish," Shepard unconsciously whispered as she thought of the vid.

"Commander?" Tali had heard Shepard's whisper but did not hear exactly what she had said.

"What?" Shepard was pulled from her thoughts.

"You said something?" Tali moved closer.

"Did I?" Shepard looked away from her reflection in Tali's mask.

"Don't worry, Commander," Tali said, thinking that Shepard was thinking about Saren. "You'll find the conduit before he does. I know you will."

"Do you?" Shepard rubbed her eyes. "Why?"

"Why?" the quarian stepped closer. "You have to."

"I have to," Shepard gave a small laugh at the quarian's response. "You are right, Joe … I have to."

"And once this is over," Tali continued, "… and my pilgrimage ends, I'll return to my people proud. Proud to have been part of your team and a part of it."

"It?" Shepard asked.

"Stopping Saren," Tali answered, matter-of-factly.

"You have no doubts?" Shepard asked.

"If it were anyone else," Tali answered, honestly and some might say naively, "… maybe. But not with you. You can do anything. I believe in you, Commander."

"Thank you," Shepard said, praying that she could live up to the quarian's faith in her.

"Thank you, Commander," Tali said. "Thank you for letting me stay and be part of your team."

Shepard reached out and rubbed Tali's arm, "I'm proud to have you on the team, Joe. We could not do this without you and your skills … just ask Adams."

"You've been good to me," Tali said, grabbing Shepard's hand and holding it. "Most outsiders treat us quarians as second-class … no, make that no-class citizens. They just want us to go back to our fleet and disappear. But you have always treated me like everyone else on your crew. Like an equal. That means more than you will ever truly know."

"You are an equal, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Shepard said, using the quarian's full name.

"I prefer Joe," Tali smiled behind her mask. "And your treatment of me says something about you. I won't forget this … or you. Whatever happens, I just wanted to say thank you for that."

"You don't need to butter me up," Shepard teased. "I already gave you the geth data for your pilgrimage, Joe."

"What data?" Tali asked, remembering Shepard tell her that it was their secret.

Shepard smiled and as she started to leave she looked back at Tali, "Don't ever forget your worth … promise me."

"I promise," Tali answered.

With Shepard back on track, the team had just cleaned out pockets of the flashlight heads in the Armstrong Nebula when Shepard received the message from fellow SpecTRe Tela Vasir to meet her in the Maroon Sea Cluster. There the Normandy headed for a planet in the Vostok System called Alko where Adams had requested to also go ashore with one of his engineers and Tali in search of FBA couplings, among other things. Shepard had given the approval and Adams with his team had entered the city with Shepard, Wrex, Kaidan, Satake and Freedman while Corporal Greico, Ashley and Fredricks stayed behind in the port near the shuttle.

Kaidan and Freedman had escorted the engineering team to ensure their safety as Wrex and Satake headed to the fighting club called the S-Barge. Shepard had told the two to be careful and as Satake assured her that they would be fine, Wrex ignored her and walked away. He was still punishing her for Noveria but she could see that it was getting harder on him to stay mad. On the battle field he was still protective of her and she knew … believed … that he just needed more time to come around off the battle field. She was patient and in the meantime, maybe a fight club would help him get rid of whatever anger was left.

Now as she stood alone on the walkway, she prepared herself for where she needed to go … The Laomian.

* * *

><p>She did not like the feeling of being blind and as the Normandy landed in the city of Azartnaya that is how she felt. Her contact on the Normandy knew only that the Commander had been contacted by another SpecTRe but did not know why. "Dammit!" she cursed as she looked up and towards her secretary who had just entered her office.<p>

The Illium office of the Galileo Industries' President, Alana Solheim, was as impressive as her. It was rectangular in shape with the entrance at one end and the desk located at the other. The floors were of light bamboo, the back wall of grey stone and the opposite wall of glass. The office looked out at the Dylus district of Nos Astra and you could even see the Dracon Trade Center off in the distance.

The executive secretary walked past the sitting area that saw two distressed brown leather club chairs slightly turned towards each other and a coffee table made from a vintage Ashland mining factory cart. On top of the cart sat a 19th century bronze statue of Galileo Galilei and was not only the inspiration for the company's name but also one of the President's personal inspirations. She admired both intelligence and action over everything else. One without the other was a fail in her book.

The next area held the conference table that once was used by the former U.S. President Ulysses S. Grant's Cabinet and the chair at the head was once First Lady Grant's armchair. On the wall behind the conference area was the original oil painting called _Sunrise_ by Monet.

Once past this area and a divider of Veronica peduncularis, called Georgia Blue, the visitor came upon a desk that contained glob stains from ink, nicks, sealing wax spots … One had to wonder why this old wooden desk was in this room … business home to Ms. Solheim. But as she sat here working all through the night, she would occasionally look at the wooden railing around the bottom and see the worn places where Albert Einstein once rested his feet as his mind changed the human world.

Behind her was Grace Crowley's _Woman (Annunciation)_ that her father had purchased for her thirteenth birthday after she had fallen in love with it. Her relationship with her father may have been dark but her love of the painting had not changed. She made sure that she had taken it with her when she had left her home in Vaucluse, an eastern suburb of Sydney, Australia.

"Ms. Solheim," her secretary greeted as she placed the Thessian sitruuna serving set with the chocolate Tim Tam biscuits on the small table that faced the windows. "It is past the closing hour and you still have not eaten today … please!"

"I'm sorry?" Alana Solheim had many different names and roles within the parent company of Galileo Industries, but she liked this one the best. Here she could live in a place that both encouraged and rewarded innovative ideas and there was no government to stop or impede it. Here was where the intelligent were rewarded and the foolish left behind.

"Stop for a minute and refresh," the secretary said, motioning towards the prepared set that also contained cucumber sandwiches.

"I will," Alana promised as she walked her secretary out after taking one more look at the map of the Maroon Sea cluster. "Please clear my calendar for the remainder of this week. I need to travel off-world."

"Do you need me to arrange the flight as well?" her secretary asked.

"No, thank you," Alana answered and then shut the door. Nielsen's 5th symphony began to quietly play as Alana looked over at the Amati violoncello in a case and smiled. This was her favorite classical piece and one of her regrets is that she never learned to play an instrument. She would have loved to have learned and mastered the violin. "One thing you could not create, father. A musician."

Alana returned to her desk after grabbing a cup of sitruuna and two biscuits. There she looked at a file on Commander Elizabeth Whisper Shepard … "Shepard," she did not understand how people followed the colonist with an average IQ. She was beautiful, Alana would give her that, but … there were at least four individuals on her crew that had higher IQ's and then there was the asari that had followed her. Dr. Liara T'Soni put all of their scores to shame and with her degrees from the prestigious Serrice University, Alana would have loved to meet her. She knew the asari's history and lineage and it still amazed her that she, a T'Soni, would have stayed on the Normandy as long as she did. "Didn't the lack of mental stimulation drive you crazy?" Alana wondered.

Alana looked at Dr. Karin Chakwas and there was a promising recruit for the organization. The Alliance doctor's scores were some of the highest in the Alliance and her ability in the field of medicine had Alana's respect … not to mention both her academic and Olympian credentials. _Olympian_, Alana looked at the image of Randa Sothern, the multi-gold medalist in swimming, on her desk and then turned back to the doctor. She added the doctor's name to her list of potentials and then stretched as she looked out at the night life of the Dylus district.

Alana turned off her office lights so she could enjoy the city lights better. As she watched the sky cars race by, she sipped her tea, ate a biscuit and listened to Bette Midler's _Shining Star_. At thirty-three she had seen enough in life to know that these quiet moments were to be treasured. Moments of complete peace. There was something coming … some _things_ coming … and if they weren't prepared, these kind of quiet moments would be lost forever. That darkness was coming and even she could see that Commander Shepard was their hope. Maybe their only hope. That thought made her shiver.

"What are you doing on Alko, Shepard?" Alana Solheim asked. "What does this Tela Vasir want?"


	82. Priorities Over Tea

_Be warned that when you meet her you will want her_, the teasing words of Nihlus Kryik came back to Tela Vasir as the human SpecTRe entered the ramen eatery. Shepard was dressed in all black and Vasir thought it accentuated her pale skin well. But she had not asked the fellow SpecTRe to meet her in the Vostok System to admire her skin tone. She had asked her there to see that the fellow SpecTRe had not lost her way.

Vasir stood up and as the human moved further into the eatery, she waved her over. As soon as Shepard reached the table, Vasir offered her a seat as she said, "Thank you for meeting with me, Shepard."

"Do you have information on Saren?" Shepard asked, ignoring the asari's greeting or seat pulled out.

"It would do you well to learn pleasantries," Vasir smiled as she took her own seat again and waved Yuit over. "What would you like to drink? Jameson whiskey?"

Shepard was surprised that the asari knew her drink of choice but she outwardly showed no response as she turned to the tendril, "Green tea, please."

"Will you both be eating as well?" Yuit asked, keeping his attention on the new human SpecTRe.

"Yes," Vasir answered, before Shepard could decline. "I will have your Abura soba … for the human," Vasir looked up at Shepard who was still standing, "bring her the miso butter corn ramen. I think she will like that dish."

As the tendril left the table, Shepard gave in to the fellow SpecTRe as she took a seat across from her, "The Alliance had this planet marked as uninhabited … nothing but rock and ice."

"Yes," Vasir smiled as she took careful stock of the human's features. "Of course things are not always as they appear. Many cities are found below the surface, but you already know this. After all, you have walked the streets of Wetrot on Eletania."

"Hmm," Shepard could see that the asari was trying to read her and failing. It made her relax … just a little. "I wouldn't call Wetrot a city."

"No?" Vasir shifted in her seat, "what would you call it?"

"An infection," Shepard answered, remembering the inhabitants, the smells, the black pool, the grotesque hanar and the rotting food.

"Now,now," Vasir laughed, "Wetrot is no worse than the Citadel … one might even argue it is better. It does not hide its corruption and will look you in the eye before it betrays you. Do not choose a pretty lie over a harsh truth, Shepard."

"Is that how you feel about the Council?" Shepard asked just as Yuit arrived with her green tea. Neither spoke as the tendril filled her cup and informed Vasir that he had brought an additional cup just in case she wanted tea as well. Leaving the pot of tea between the two SpecTRes he then excused himself.

"The Council?" Vasir's face turned serious, "I believe in what the Council represents … coexistence and an understanding of each other."

Shepard thought of her own world history and frowned, "Do you believe that we can truly coexist?"

Vasir leaned back, "It is my hope."

_Hope_. Shepard could hear weariness in the asari's voice on that word and asked again, "But do you believe that it is possible?"

"Possible?" Vasir took a deep breath, "I have seen so many wars, Shepard. Every new species that joins the galactic community only brings more corruption, disease and destruction."

"So you weren't too happy seeing us?" Shepard asked, not angrily but understanding her words.

Vasir gave a weak smile, "Not particularly. Sorry."

"It's okay," Shepard smiled back. "After learning more about the various histories of our neighbors … well, none seem to be without conflict. And as more people arrive, all wanting a piece of the pie ... the slices only get smaller."

"True," Vasir was beginning to like this human. "But we cannot let that fact distract us or make us give up hope … I may not believe that there will be trust or peace between the species, but I still have to try and at least keep us from destroying each other … and ourselves. I want my daughter to live her lifetime without seeing the things that I have seen ... or doing the things that I have done."

Shepard looked down at her cup as the asari spoke, "And what have you done?"

Vasir took a drink of elasa and then leaned in towards Shepard, "We are called to do things that can take our sleep … make our hands our own enemies … make us turn from our own reflections … make us hesitate to touch our children for fear of contaminating their innocents. I have been a SpecTRe longer than you have been alive, Shepard. I have many regrets but I also know that those choices kept the balance … saved more lives than were lost. In your short time within the agency have you nothing that fills you with regret? Choices that left a bitter taste in your mouth?"

Shepard thought of Wetrot and the slaves that she had left on the auction block and before she could feel shame her mind went to the dead batarian that she had killed in cold blood. Her mind swirled with other acts, other decisions she had made in her life and nodded, "A great many things … some even before I joined the agency."

Vasir sat back as Shepard tried to clear her mind by drinking her tea. Vasir wished that Nihlus had been able to train Shepard. She could see intelligence in her but that did not guarantee success as a SpecTRe … Shepard needed to be able to see the big picture when making decisions. She needed to be able to see past the moment, past her own ego and even be able to go against her own morals. Vasir knew that being a SpecTRe was one of the greatest honors but it was also a curse. "This has not been easy for you," Vasir finally broke the silence between them.

Shepard shook her head, "No. Sometimes I feel lost …"

"…and alone," Vasir nodded, knowing the feeling. "The Council left you to … what do you humans say? … _to reinvent the wheel_? Nihlus looked forward to training you … he had so much faith in who you could become within the agency."

"You knew him well?" Shepard found that with Vasir she felt different. She felt that she could share how she felt as a SpecTRe without fear of judgment ... that the person sitting across from her understood her. Understood in a way that no one else could. No one but a fellow SpecTre.

"He was a good friend," Vasir answered. "We spoke of you and I questioned his belief in you."

"And now?" Shepard asked, always grateful for honesty even when it was not positive or pleasant.

"I have grown to understand why he chose you," Vasir answered. "If he were here I would have to admit I was wrong … begrudgingly."

"What makes you think that?" Shepard asked, as she was still unsuccessful in capturing or stopping Saren.

"The Council gave you the position but very little else in the way of the agency," Vasir explained. "Without the benefit of the agency's training or support you have had to struggle in ways that were unnecessary. Yet here you are … still breathing. I expected you to have been dead by now or on an auction block somewhere in the Terminus."

"Thanks, I think," Shepard frowned as she poured herself another cup of tea. "So why has the Council let me struggle?"

"Everything has a price," Vasir answered, grabbing the extra cup off the tray and pouring herself tea. "Your human Alliance wanted to keep its chain on you … the Council saw what the chain was …"

"The Normandy," Shepard interrupted.

"Yes," Vasir nodded. "The Normandy was the trade-off, Shepard. You see the new recruits are placed under seasoned agents so that they can transition into the role with less confusion and a deeper understanding of what we do. The galaxy is a much darker place than most know."

"That's what Nihlus said," Shepard told her.

"And he was telling you the truth," Vasir said. "The Council may have decided to forego that to ensure your ship was offered … or there could have been another reason. Who knows what the Council really thinks."

"Why are you telling me this?" Shepard asked, just as their meals were delivered to the table.

The two fell silent again as Yuit placed their food in front of them and then left. "I am telling you this because you are a SpecTRe, Shepard. It is only with each other that we can be at our most honest ... with each other there is a trust that is felt because we have all made sacrifices ... personal sacrifices."

"Trust?" Shepard looked deep into Vasir's eyes, "Forgive me, Vasir … but I don't trust easily and certainly not just after meeting someone."

"Of course not," Vasir answered, unflinching under Shepard's eyes. "But know this, only we know what price is paid to keep the galaxy safe. It is only with another SpecTRe that words are not needed to understand what we have faced in the trenches. The longer you are in the agency the more you will grow to understand why we can only relax around each other."

"Tell that to Nihlus," Shepard said, thinking of the SpecTRe's dead body on Eden Prime.

"Nihlus," Vasir choked just a little before her eyes turned cold. "Saren has committed the greatest of crimes … and I do not know why. Saren and Nihlus were not only fellow SpecTRes but also close friends. The betrayal does not make sense. I would like to think that there was a reason but ... to kill another SpecTRe ... what reason, what valid reason could there be to take the life of one of us? Something is wrong and knowing that Nihlus was a good agent ... Saren must be stopped."

"Nothing about this mission makes sense," Shepard said without thinking.

"But you must not fail," Vasir told her. "If you need anything from the agency all you have to do is ask. Every SpecTRe is behind you, Shepard. No other mission is more important than the one you are on … at least to us. You cannot fail."

"Why now?" Shepard was confused by the sudden helping hand.

"Are you always so cautious and untrusting?" Vasir teased as she picked up her chopsticks.

"Always," Shepard nodded, picking up her chopsticks.

"Good," Vasir said. "There has been much hidden from you and hopefully while we have time together I can pull back a little of that curtain. But first … eat."

* * *

><p>The office of the late Benezia T'Soni was dimly lit as Liara sat behind the desk, drinking sitruuna and looking at one of her many images of the wall of Kyuos. She had been working in her mother's company since the burial to help in the transition from Benezia to Tatiaria as the head of the company. Her Theia's office was on the opposite side of the building and Liara felt small as she moved about her mother's path. As employees and her mother's long-time secretary greeted her she felt as if she was wearing a crown twice her head size and too heavy to stay in place. She did not belong behind her mother's desk … she did not deserve to be called Lady T'Soni. "Mother," Liara looked at an image of the two of them on the Matriarch's desk. "How do I tell Theia that my time here is ending? That I am needed elsewhere?"<p>

Liara had been looking through her old reports in search of anything that would shed light on the reapers. She believed that the wall of Kyuos held clues if only it had not been buried and the second message hidden. But there was hope. Antonina Delana, her Theia's companion, had informed her that the wall was almost free of its earlier burial and that she could travel there if she wanted. Delana had put a team on the excavation shortly after the disaster and as the wall was now visible again, a new research team was being sent.

This revelation had both excited and surprised Liara. What Delana had not told her was that her instructions were really the Matriarch's. Benezia had instructed Delana to have her company send an excavation team to have the wall uncovered, "no matter how long it takes the wall must be freed." Delana didn't understand why, since at the time Benezia had grounded her daughter to Thessia. But she had sent the team as instructed anyway, knowing that the Matriarch had her reasons. It wasn't until Benezia was about to leave Thessia for the last time that she had told Delana, "When the wall is ready to be studied again and if I am not here … tell Liara. Whatever artifacts or locations that take my daughter's interest or concern … promise me that if I am no longer here, you will help her. That you will do whatever it takes to ensure that she can solve the puzzles that are presented to her. They may seem trivial to us … but we must trust Liara's instincts. Promise me."

Delana had seen Liara light up and almost return to her former self when she had told her of the wall. The spark in the young asari's eyes made Delana smile as Liara paced around the room telling Delana what that could mean. The wall could hold the answers that might stop Saren and, "more importantly … the reapers. The wall may explain where they came from and what they want!" Delana didn't understand what Liara was talking about but the family had grown use to not understanding her when she spoke on anything prothean. Now as Liara looked at the wall she smiled at the hope that she might be able to bring something back to Shepard. "Elizabeth," Liara frowned as she stood up and walked to the galaxy map that was located directly across from the desk. Her mother had placed the holo map on the wall facing her desk as a reminder. She had told Liara that it was there because it was important to remember how every decision impacted the _balance_. Liara was beginning to understand, if only slightly, what her mother meant.

As Liara looked around the map she wondered where Shepard was. She had tried writing her a letter but she did not know what to say. She knew that the human had started to have feelings for her and this had caused her great pleasure. But she also knew that if she handled the affair as she would with another asari … "you will hurt her," Aikaterine had told her. "Before you move forward, you must understand the risks, the demands and the loss."

Aikaterine had stayed at the estate for the burial of the Matriarch and spent hours visiting with Liara. Liara had listened as Aikaterine shared some of her experiences with a human companion and it made Liara worry. She did not want to ever hurt Shepard and the thought of _her Elizabeth_ ever hating her, hating her for doing something natural for her own kind … it made her hesitate. If Shepard wanted nothing more than a casual affair, she had told herself, it would be easier. But the thought of someone else having Shepard's attention did not give comfort to Liara. The thought of another asari having Shepard's attention made her angry and this feeling confused Liara even more. There was a sense of shame in having these emotions and so she did not share them with Aikaterine.

Now as Liara traced a finger over Earth she thought of Shepard's laugh and it made her want her. She missed the Commander and hoped that the feeling was mutual. Liara returned to the desk and turned on her iMuse to play a song that Shepard had sung and danced to in their Aikaterine suite. The evening had been spent with the asari playing wisp and listening to their music when Shepard had appeared from her bedroom. "No more asari music," she had said as she limped to the iMuse port and replaced Sibila's player with hers. The song _Surrender_ by an artist long passed, Laura Pausini, began to loudly play as Shepard called Ipomona over.

Liara had felt mixed emotions about the way that Shepard had taken an instant liking to Ipomona. She had worried that there might be something developing between the two but she was also glad to see Shepard accept one of her kind. As Shepard and Ipomona playfully danced around the living area ... Shepard half-limping her dance ... Sibila made lewd comments about what she would do with Shepard's body as Liara tried ignoring her and focused on Shepard. She listened to the words falling from Shepard's lips and hearing her sing of needing someone, made Liara smile. It strengthened her belief that there was a place in Shepard that was meant just for her. That despite the Commander's walls there was a way to move past them if she was just patient. And she had been right.

She thought of the woman who smiled with her eyes, emotionally responded to music and loved to laugh. On the other side, there was the angry killer that was in Shepard. She was released when Shepard was fighting … released when she was in a place that caused her discomfort or fear. This woman would never belong to Liara and the asari knew it. As the image of the warrior came to her mind, Liara wondered where that darkness came from. She wondered where that part of Shepard would go if she was no longer a soldier. No longer a SpecTRe. Would it go to sleep or force its way out in other areas?

Liara frowned as she turned her attention to Mindoir on the map. She knew that it was here that Shepard had been her happiest … and her saddest. One day she would love to see this place with Shepard as her guide. She had a deep desire to know where Shepard came from, who her parents were, what made her happy, what were her real dreams and desires … but that research would have to wait. Just as seeing Shepard again would be pushed to the side. If the wall of Kyuos could help in the understanding of the reapers then that is where she would go … Her desire to be with Shepard would have to wait.

She sat back down at her mother's desk and took a sip of her sitruuna as the song ended. She would set out for Aethoyner just as soon as she could arrange the flight, pack and tell her Theia. That would be the hardest part. Breaking her Theia's heart as she left Thessia once again.

* * *

><p>The office was well lit, extremely clean and sparse of furniture. There were three salarians at consoles to the left of the room that were so focused on their jobs that they never looked up at the two SpecTRes. Each salarian had multiple screens in front of them … some contained data and others video feeds. Shepard thought she had also seen a video of the Presidium but the screen went black as she passed by.<p>

Vasir had brought Shepard to the agency's Alko office after their meal together and it both surprised and angered Shepard to learn that there were offices of the agency located around the galaxy. That these offices were there to help the agents as needed in intel, weapons, medicine, backup … just about anything they might need and the Council never told her ... Shepard shook her head as she looked around.

"How many offices are there?" Shepard asked as Vasir opened a door to a private suite.

"Enough," Vasir answered, just as a salarian entered the office and seeing Shepard made a beeline to her.

"The human SpecTRe," he seemed to grin at the find.

"Taizo," Vasir said, "I thought you were on Omega."

"No, no," Taizo said as he looked at Shepard's eyes, opened her mouth to look at her teeth and as he pulled back from her, he padded her right thigh, "Slight intelligence, strong teeth … legs to stop an asari. I hope you like asari. If not … complications."

Before either Vasir or Shepard could say a word, the salarian disappeared into the suite next to the one that Vasir had opened. "Who was that?" Shepard asked, still shocked by the creatures handling of her.

"Agent Taizo," Vasir said as she moved into the suite. "He has stopped three potential wars and two assassinations in just a decade … too bad they do not live long. If only we could switch the life spans of the salarians with the krogans."

"I don't think the krogans would like that," Shepard said as she followed Vasir into the suite.

"You are right," Vasir said, turning on the lights and shutting the door.

The suite was not fancy but contained everything a SpecTRe might need. There was a state of the art comm. system and video feeds of the surrounding area of their location. There was a sitting area, office area, small kitchenette and a bed all in the one room with a bathroom to the left. Vasir had told Shepard as they headed for the offices that the agency kept suites for them in case of an emergency.

"There are places like this even on Wetrot?" Shepard asked as she ran her hand over the comm. station.

"Yes," Vasir said, looking at the human who was now captivated by the computer system.

"Can I get all of our office locations put into my database?" Shepard asked, moving screens around as she pulled up information on Saren Arterius.

"You can," Vasir said as she sat down in one of the chairs, "But only you can have that information, Shepard. No sharing with the Alliance."

"I see," Shepard moved away from the screens and sat on the couch. "Classified. This way if I need to go underground …"

"Only the agency will know where you are," Vasir said, "The offices are also here for less dramatic reasons as well. If you need to contact the Council, or order supplies … medical attention … anything … you can come to an office. Anyone working in the main area, like those three salarians out there, are here for you when needed. They are not SpecTRes but assistants to us and also report to the Council. You can also order items in one office and have them sent to another location for pick up if needed … But I am sure that with the Alliance trying to keep you under their thumb you will not need the agency for a while."

"Not yet," Shepard said as she thought of how she could go to the Arc for all her needs. "But I am sure that after this mission is completed the Alliance may start to lose interest. Or at least, their extreme charity."

"They will," Vasir said. "When that happens … you have the agency."

Vasir stood and went to a cabinet in the kitchenette and opened it to reveal a bar. The Jameson Whiskey caught Shepard's eyes, "Did you put that in there for me?"

"No," Vasir said as she pulled it and a bottle of Elasa out. "The agency tries to keep their agents happy so they stock items that they know we like." This made both Vasir and Shepard laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"Because alcohol can remove blood off our hands and wipe away the faces of those we have killed," Shepard said almost bitterly through her laughter.

As the laughter softly died, Vasir poured their drinks but was surprised when Shepard rejected the whiskey and chose tea instead, "Do not tell me that you have quit drinking."

"Just a month fast," Shepard said, watching Vasir make a pot of sitruuna. "I have one more week and then a lost weekend is due."

"Self-control," Vasir nodded, as she placed the kettle over the flame and leaned against the counter. "Good. I was starting to worry."

"Worry?" Shepard looked at the asari and neither spoke until the asari tea was prepared and placed between them. Once Vasir had poured them both a cuo, Shepard spoke ... "Why would you be worried about me?"

"I am working on a mission that involves the flesh trade," Vasir said, noting the shift in Shepard's body. "Lately, you have started appearing in places that are more flesh than Saren related. I was worried that you might have started on a personal mission."

"I was …" Shepard started but was cut off by Vasir.

"I know what you were doing," Vasir semi-lied, "But you cannot get sidetracked … you must stay focused on Saren."

Shepard thought of her friend somewhere out there and nodded, "I know."

Vasir had suspected that Shepard's little side trips were connected to the raid on Mindoir and continued with that hunch, "Mindoir '70 … what you humans called the batarian raid on that planet … You must have witnessed firsthand what the batarians do when they are … procuring their cattle."

Shepard looked at the bottle of Jameson wishing she could break her fast, "I don't …"

"You lost many loved ones during the raid," Vasir pushed, looking at Shepard's profile. "Some of them must have been carted away and yet with all your power … you cannot try and save them. They are like that bottle of whiskey, Shepard. Let us hope that your self-control is strong enough."

"Ricky would …" Shepard bit down on her tongue, angry that she had said his name.

"Ricky?" Vasir leaned forward. "Was he one of the lost?"

Shepard sat back and closed her eyes, "He was my best friend … Ricky Parks. I know he is still alive and somewhere out there."

Vasir knew what it was like to lose loved ones and also knew what it was like to feel powerless to save them. "He could be anywhere, Shepard. You have a better chance at finding Saren then this human."

"I know," Shepard opened her eyes and looked at Vasir.

"I hope you do," Vasir said. "Finding Saren must be your priority … if the Council thinks that you have lost focus …"

"I haven't," Shepard said, leaning forward. "I just followed a few clues … hoping, but they led to dead ends."

"Understood," Vasir said. "I am sorry that you did not find him."

"Thank you," Shepard said. "I appreciate you meeting with me, Tela. I have a feeling that I have a lot more to learn about the agency."

"You do," Vasir said, looking at her cup of sitruuna. "Once your current mission is complete, I would like to help further your training … if that would be alright with you."

"Very much," Shepard answered as she looked over at the asari. She wished that she could take the offer that very moment, but Saren had to be the priority.


	83. Watermelon & Jelly Fish Rumble

The S-Barge was dimly lit as most clubs tend to be ... dark except around the ring where the smoke from cigars, cigarettes and joints seem to dance. The floor was sticky from spilled drinks and spit and blood and god only knows what else … and it was crammed tight with tendrils, turians, salarians and one hanar. Middle Eastern music pounded against the walls along with the cheers, boos and hissing of the patrons as blood, sweat and tears fell on the mat in the ring. As some clamored to get as close to the fight as possible, Wrex stood far enough away to remain clear of the spray. If you stood too close to the ring, like a Gallagher concert and watermelons, you were guaranteed to be baptized with a fighter's DNA. Exciting to some ... repulsive to others.

Wrex had watched a turian push his way up to the front with his date and just as they got comfortable, a salarian leaned over the ropes and threw up on them after being hit in the stomach. The female punched her date before leaving out of the club in a hurry. Her date following after, pleading ignorance but Wrex knew that he would probably never see her again. Now the crowd was cheering for the hanar named Atlas who was fighting a human in the ring.

"Aargh!" Pvt. Alcot Satake cried out as he fell to the floor and grabbed the back of his leg where the hanar had hit him. He had no idea that the _big stupid jelly fish_ could inflict such pain as this one was doing to him.

"Stay down, Allie," Tali told him as the hanar pulled him back from the ropes. "Stay down!"

"I'm okay," Satake tried to tell the quarian right before he cried out in pain again as the hanar snapped his other leg. Satake had been hit with wet towels by bullies in high school and this was a flashback as the tip of a tentacle stung his leg yet again. "Could you stop that?"

"How did you talk him into this?" Kaidan asked Wrex as Satake stumbled to the ropes and then began to run around the hanar. As he passed by Tali he would wink or grin, not wanting her to see that he was scared and in pain. Never mind that he had welts on his legs, stomach and lower back ... plus a swollen left eye where he had been struck in the first minute of the match.

"How long does he have to stay in the ring?" Freedman asked as Satake grinned yet again at Tali. Blood mixed with sweat was running down his chin as he passed by them and secretly he prayed that the match would be over soon. He was afraid that he would start crying the next time he felt a stinging on his body and that was the last thing he wanted Tali to see … she had already seen him cry on Noveria. _Oh, Noveria!_ He cringed everytime he thought of that place and everything that had happened there.

Wrex, too busy managing the bets and chits being exchanged, did not hear Kaidan's question. Adams looked around the club and was glad that the Commander was not there. He worried that if she was, she would climb into the ring and beat the crap out of both Satake and the hanar. Or at least try and beat the hanar, Adams corrected himself, as he saw it trip Satake and start to choke him.

"That's cheating!" Tali yelled over the crowds cheering and before anyone could stop her she had climbed into the ring and jumped on the hanar. As the two came crashing down on top of Satake the crowd cheered louder. The crowd cheered and Satake almost threw up as he saw the underbelly of a hanar. It was not what he expected and hoped to never see it again ... EVER!

"Get out of there!" Wrex yelled at the quarian, not wanting to lose his bets on Satake.

A tendril jumped in the ring and after pulling Tali out added another minute to the clock … Satake now had three minutes left and when he saw the additional minute added, felt hot tears starting to threaten his manliness … "Just hang in there," he told himself as he saw Tali waving her arms at the tendril. "Just three ... aaagh ... minutes ... mother of god!"

Kaidan had finally gotten Wrex's attention and was told by Wrex that both he and Satake had been gambling on the timed bouts against the hanar called Atlas.

"Timed bouts?" Kaidan asked, as Satake screamed out in an octave a soprano would admire.

Wrex ignored the note hit by Satake as he explained to Kaidan that a timed bout meant "staying in the ring for nine minutes without tapping out."

Kaidan saw the hanar flop Satake about, his extremely white legs kicking in the air, and asked what the prize was for making the nine minutes.

"A hefty purse for starters," Wrex said ... _but no one was lasting longer than five minutes_.

"Then why is he out there?" Kaidan asked, amazed at how high Satake could scream.

Wrex explained that a turian who did not care for humans had spotted Satake in the crowd and was originally going to personally kick him out. But then he saw his companion. Wrex. So instead he began to say loud enough for Satake to hear that a human could not last three minutes against Atlas. That humans were the weakest of all species and before Wrex could stop him, Satake took the bait.

Kaidan shook his head as he turned back to the ring and watched Satake continue to duck, crawl, run and fall around the hanar ... all the while making noises that sounded like a mashup of opera singers and Nina Hagen and murder victims.

"Why did he agree to this?" Adams asked Kaidan as Satake's high yelping took on a new earnestness as the hanar snapped both his legs and threw him across the ring.

"Idiocy," Kaidan said, looking at Tali who was jumping around the ring and trying to support the struggling soldier.

* * *

><p>It was a warm evening and the Shepards had just watched a vid sent from their granddaughter … their <em>SPECTRE<em> granddaughter, Jack would always add. After any communication from her it almost always resulted in Grandma Elizabeth tearing up, Grandpa Jack beaming and Aunt Mel saying, "She needs to come home."

"That she does," Jack would second but then add, "but only after she kicks a little turian ass! Think they can control us! That gal is showing them just what we humans are made of! Fuck with us!"

"Jack!" Elizabeth would frown, not wanting to think of her namesake fighting anyone or hearing vulgar language used in their home.

Properly scolded by the _look_, Jack would grab a cup of coffee and slip a little Irish whiskey in it for _flavoring_. He would then move out to the back porch and sit facing the Atlantic … looking not at the ocean but up at the sky.

"She is somewhere out there," Elizabeth said, coming out onto the porch and seeing his eyes looking off into the evening sky. "Do you think that she is okay? That she knows that we pray for her every day? That we miss and love her?"

"Of course," Jack said as he looked over at his wife and nodded, "But why don't you and the girls go to the Arcturus Station? You can see her when she lands there again and tell her that we are here … ready to fight if she needs us."

"She doesn't need you to fight," Elizabeth said, "She has plenty of young men and women behind her."

"I can out lick any of those young bucks!" Jack said, spilling some of his Irish coffee as he waved his cup.

"Yes, dear," Elizabeth laughed and then not sure that she wanted to leave her husband asked, "If I went to the station would you be okay? The doctor said that you need ..."

"Yes," Jack said, patting the seat next to him, "Doctor says I'm fine and my heart could use some time away from you … how can I have an affair if you are always here?"

"An affair?" Elizabeth cocked a brow as she sat down next to him.

"Okay, fine," Jack pouted. "A poker night with booze and cigars … and a blow up doll."

"Blow up what?" They heard Mel ask from inside the house.

"Mattress," Elizabeth gave a small laugh as she put her head on his shoulder, "Do you think that Lil'Bit would mind having her home taken over by old women?"

"Old?" Jack snorted. "The only old thing I see on this porch is me!"

"I'll talk to Toni in the morning," Elizabeth kissed Jack on the cheek. "Toni may not be able to go with Mel and me though. With her recent promotion her job probably won't give her enough time off … But she can look in on you and your affair with that blow up mattress."

"Party pooper," he said, as they both leaned back on the couch. "Hard to believe sometimes that those aliens really exist. That it all just isn't special effects and one great big conspiracy by our governments."

"Why would they fake aliens?" Elizabeth asked, looking at her husband confused. "That would be silly."

"I'm not saying they did," Jack sounded a little frustrated. "I'm just saying that … well, sometimes it's hard to believe. And here my _SpecTRe_ granddaughter is meeting all of them … she even has a turian and a krogan in her crew."

"And a quarian and asari," Mel added, coming out on the porch and sitting on a chair. "Unbelievable, isn't it?"

"Why is it unbelievable?" Elizabeth did not understand her husband and daughter sometimes. If something was real than it was real. Case closed.

"Momma," Mel tried to explain, "What daddy and I mean is that it's like finding out vampires are real. If Lil'Bit didn't talk about them … aliens, I mean, I would almost say that they weren't real."

"Vampires?" Elizabeth shook her head, "Now that is silly."

Jack laughed and pulled his wife closer, "Vampires … they might be safer than some of those creatures out there. I was reading up on krogans the other day and …" Jack whistled, "... sometimes I think it was better when we were alone."

"When we thought we were alone," Mel corrected, blowing on her hot chocolate.

"But we're not," Elizabeth said, "And who knows what other things are out there that we don't know about."

"No need to worry," Jack said as he thought of what the kid had been telling him. If they were attacked he was doing everything in his power to protect his family. No _reangers_, or whatever they were called, was going to hurt his loved ones … not if he and his _SpecTRe_ granddaughter could help it. He smiled at the thought of his grandkid arriving on the Arcturus Station and being greeted back as a conquering hero after her promotion. _Son, I wish you could have been there to see that_, he thought as he took a drink of his coffee. _You and Hannah sure made one helluva woman … nothing can stop her._

"Whatever is out there," Mel said, looking out at the orange sky, "Lil'Bit is in the middle of it."

"She's in danger isn't she?" Elizabeth asked, the question silencing both Jack and Mel as the waves crashed off in the distance.

Shepard had always downplayed what she was doing in both the Alliance and now as a SpecTRe with her grandmother … but not her grandfather. As he felt his wife breathe a little harder he kissed her forehead, "Stop your worrying, doll. That kid is tough … there ain't nothing out there that can stop her. Nothing! She's a Shepard."

"Daddy's right, momma," Mel said, wishing that her niece was back on Tybee Island with the family. "Wherever Lil'Bit is … Hannah is making sure that she is protected. She's got God's ear and I'm sure that she is bending it up in heaven."

* * *

><p>The night had ended with the Italian model coming home with her after the Valenix fashion show. He had pleased her but now all she wanted was to be left alone. She was not a cuddler and never enjoyed having arms or legs thrown over her body in the middle of the night … or waking up to someone's morning breath. She had used her early morning flight to explain why he could not stay overnight and she promised to call him when she returned. A promise she had no intention of keeping.<p>

As she found herself alone in her loft she leaned against the door naked, her eyes closed as she listened to the voice of the asari Aspasia moaning about _Thessia on Fire_. The loft was purchased under the name of Alana Solheim and was located in the exclusive area of Elis. The real estate in this part of Nos Astra was beyond her means but she had used an asari connection to purchase the small loft at a discount. It paid to know people on Illium ... and to be owed favors.

As she moved back to her bed, the city lights throwing shadows throughout the room, she removed the sheets and began to replace them with fresh ones when her comm. sounded.

"Solheim residence," she said, holding the dirtied sheets in her arms.

"Ms. Solheim?" The female voice asked.

"Yes, Ms. Zimmer," Solheim recognized the voice as the executive secretary of her boss.

"I have made all the arrangements and the starship will be waiting for you in port 44B," Zimmer said.

"Thank you," She said, "Did he say what this meeting is about?"

"No," Zimmer said. "He did ask that his schedule be cleared for your visit."

"How long am I scheduled to be on the station?" Solheim asked, dropping the sheets in the basket.

"Just forty-eight hours," came the response. "Have a safe flight, Ms. Solheim."

Once disconnected, Solheim put new sheets on her bed, put on a kettle for tea and then re-touched her hair. She had born a blond but after leaving her home had started dying it black. She could undergo a process that would make her new hair color permanent but she hoped to one day reclaim both in appearance and name who she truly was. One day.

Now as she slowly packed, choosing the right outfits that pleased her boss, she hoped that this meeting would have her focused on something other than the Commander Shepard. He could get anyone from within the organization to track the SpecTRe and then she could be put on a more challenging project. One that could make a difference. That was her hope.

After she completed her packing, she chose the purse she would use and went to her safe to switch out her Alana Solheim passport for her Miranda Lawson one. There were six passports in her safe that she used based on her job assignment … a seventh one was in a baggie and never removed from the safe. That one contained her real name … her birth name. That name she had buried and it would remain buried until her father was dead or stripped of his power or no longer trying to reclaim her or her sister. She preferred dead.

One day.

* * *

><p>"I did it!" Satake shouted as he was carried off the stage after the bell sounded.<p>

"Yes, you did!" Tali said, excited for him as the crowd booed as they lost money on his success. "Oh, shut up!"

"Shepard!" Freedman warned the group as the Commander appeared at the entrance.

"Oh, shit!" Satake cried out. "Hide me!"

Kaidan headed for Shepard as the team stood in front of the soldier with bruises, welts, swollen eye and blood. Wrex, busy collecting his money, ignored the panic happening within his group and once all of the monies were in his hand saw Shepard talking with Kaidan. Shepard was not a short woman but mixed in with turians she looked small. He had worried letting her see the SpecTRe alone but he had just watched her walk away … pretending he could care less. He watched as his pup disappeared into the crowd.

Now as Shepard began to look around the crowd, seeking him out, he turned away yet again. She had let the rachni queen go despite his pleas. He should have stopped her and had it been anyone else he would have … even if it meant killing them. But with her he had simply stood by as she let a plague loose again on the galaxy. It made him question himself and the influence she had on him. He had wanted to leave, to get as far away from her as he could but … but … he turned and looked at her.

She was looking at him as Kaidan continued to talk to her and Wrex knew that no matter how mad he was … he would not leave the pup. Not now. Not until Saren was stopped. But that did not mean he was not mad at her … still.

Shepard had seen him turn away from her and it angered her. It had been over a month and some since Noveria … "Excuse me, Kaidan," Shepard said as she moved towards the krogan.

"Shepard," Wrex said, looking down at the human once she had made it to his side.

"I've had enough," Shepard yelled over the music and chatter. "We need to talk through this."

"Not now," Wrex shrugged and began to walk away when Shepard grabbed him.

"Now!" Shepard said, as he stopped to look at her hand on him.

"Shepard," Wrex growled, "Why don't you return to Kaidan and let him sniff you. I have business to take care of."

"What did you say?" Wrex's rude comment angered her and she tried to pull him outside of the fight club where she planned on telling him what a frickin' jerk he was. Planned to, but she couldn't move him.

"Go away, Shepard," Wrex said and this only angered her more. As she continued to struggle to move the one-ton truck, patrons around them began to laugh at the sight. The laughter only made her anger increase and Wrex couldn't help but admire her determination.

The turian who had previously baited Satake moved next to Wrex and his laughter caught Shepard's attention. But it wasn't only his laughter. It was what he was saying as well. "You should put the newcomer in her place … humans need to learn that they are not in control."

"I'll show you who is in control," Shepard snarled as she hit him with all of her strength.

The turian fell to the floor and Wrex began to laugh as Kaidan and the other crewmembers rushed to the Commander's side. The anger had disappeared just as fast as it had appeared and Shepard, feeling shame, asked the turian to forgive her. As she reached down to help him up he pushed her away, preferring to stand on his own. He would have tried to hit her back but saw the look of warning by the krogan. "You wait," he told her. "You will be put in your place soon enough … you newcomers will be put down once everyone sees what you really are. Parasites!"

As the turian disappeared into the crowd, Shepard looked at Wrex who appeared pleased at what she had done … "I need my Beast back," she said to him and then walked away.

"Are you okay, Shepard?" Kaidan asked once they were outside the S-Barge.

"Ashamed," Shepard said, looking down at her hands. "I shouldn't have hit that turian. I had no right."

"You apologized," Kaidan said, taking her hand. "Besides ... he was an ass."

"It doesn't matter what he was," she said, pulling away from him. "I know better than that … momma would have … ah, shit."

"You're being too hard on yourself," Kaidan said, keeping an eye out for the turian in case he returned.

"No, Kaidan," Shepard hated that her temper sometimes got the better of her and hurt others. "I have to control this ... this anger. I have to."

"You will," Kaidan could see that Shepard was tired. "Did your meeting with the SpecTRe go well?"

Shepard thought of what she had learned and nodded, "Enlightening."

"Anything you can share?" He asked, looking over at the group as they hid Satake.

"No," Shepard smiled.

"Shall we return to the Normandy?" Adams asked as Satake hid behind him.

"Yes," Shepard responded. "Shall I pretend that I don't see Satake or …"

"What?" Satake peeked over Adams.

Shepard, seeing the swollen eye began to laugh, "Just tell me that the other guy looks worse."

"You want me to lie?" Satake asked, sheepishly.

"He may not look worse," Freedman offered, "But he sure can't hit the notes Allie here can."

"Opera singers can't hit the notes he can," Kaidan said, which made everyone laugh as they headed back to the Normandy.


	84. Plan B Gets STG'ed

The asari's breathing was becoming shallower as the minutes passed and she prayed for strength. In these final moments it was as if she was granted a final lucid moment. She did not know if it was a cruel joke or a blessing. As silent tears ran down her face, she thought of her mother and the way her embrace felt. If only she could touch her just once more … take away her mother's pain once she felt the string cut. The turian moved in his sleep causing her body more pain at the movement. He was cruel and empty of compassion … his hate and need for revenge had smothered whatever was good in him. The Matriarch had said that there was still hope for him when they first joined his cause … she had seen it in a meld. But that chance of redemption was long gone. The turian lying next to her was lost while the Matriarch was dead.

_No! It cannot be true_, she almost cried as the memory of hearing that Matriarch Benezia was dead snapped back into her mind. As the bitterness of that loss washed over her, she could see the colors of that sweet spirit in her mind's eye. The Matriarch could not be dead. She was too strong to succumb to that sleep. The dying asari had loved hearing her teacher speak of the promise of the asari, loved the way that she could look at you and make you feel as if you had truly been seen … completely seen and accepted. _Dead._ She thought of watching the Matriarch dance the nectpir as the pain in her body slowly subsided. She saw the Matriarch sway as her own body jerked. She watched her dance in her mind, while the last real thing that she saw after four and a half centuries was the turian sleeping. She had followed her teacher, her mentor to this place and had lost herself to the corruption. Had she still been pure of mind she could have protected herself. She could have stopped the turian from hurting her, stopped him from killing her. But the corruption had left her defenseless and at his mercy. The corruption had made her crave his pleasures; embrace his brutality and eventually death.

Saren awoke hours later and seeing that the asari next to him had died pushed her off the bed. With the will of the asari bent toward pleasing him it had taken out the pleasure. Instead of screaming as he shared his love of cruelty with them … they begged for more. He wanted their screams, their cries for mercy, their tears of pain … but the indoctrination had made them beg for more! It had only frustrated and angered him. It pushed him to hit harder, cut deeper, bite until pieces of them were sliding down his throat. As he stood over the body of the asari, his body caked in her blood, the last of his goodness was ashamed. But that piece of him had been disappearing since the death of his own brother. It was this part that saw him squat down and take the asari's face in his hand. "There is no honor in this," he told himself. "Where has that spirit gone? Where has the spirit of honor flown?"

He carefully picked up the asari and put her back on his bed as he struggled with himself. He had always been a little cruel but not like this. That darker side of him had grown in his adult years and it was only getting stronger … _How many of the Matriarch's followers were left?_ He asked as he moved away from the bed. He thought of the one called Shiala as he washed away the blood from his body and was tempted to return to Feros. She had cried out against him and it pleased him … but the Matriarch had chosen her for the Thorian. _Shiala._ Her memory caused him pleasure as he watched as the blood of an asari washed off him. Yes, she had been the one that had pleased him the most. Now as he dressed, preparing to head for the bridge, his mind went back to the few of the followers of Benezia left. This made him laugh "… followers of Benezia," he almost spit out against the walls.

They were so easily turned! They had looked to him and not _her_ after just a few months. But that change had not really been for the best as it slowly took away their abilities. How weak Benezia's followers had become in time and with the Matriarch's death he despised them even more. He despised her. He had hoped that she would have been stronger … a part of him had even hoped that she was above Sovereign's indoctrination. But she wasn't. She had failed on so many levels. She had failed against the indoctrination, failed in bringing her daughter to him, failed at killing the human SpecTRe and failed at interpreting the prothean message. He thought of the last communication from her on Noveria regarding the Mu Relay and hoped that the salarian he had hired could make sense of it.

As his ship moved closer to Virmire he also hoped that the neurospecialist, Rana Thanoptis, did not fail him as well. He hated depending on others but his abilities in the sciences were nonexistent. He knew how to kill, how to persuade, how to manipulate ... these were his gifts that he had brought to the Agency. Saren was hoping that this Rana had found the key to breaking the signal of Sovereign. Or at least understand Sovereign's effect on organic minds. If he could just understand how it worked he might be able to fight it … to keep his will. He had seen others become drooling and empty vessels after being exposed to it. Emptiness or insanity was not options for the proud turian. He had always believed that he was in control of both his surroundings and his own person and he refused to change that now. Refused.

But as he watched Sovereign's ability to bend and ultimately destroy the will of others … he began to doubt if he could make it through intact. Even as a part of him enjoyed watching the Matriarch become weakened and a slave to his will … another part of him was terrified. The part of him that lacked the arrogance understood that if the signal from Sovereign could strip away the will of Matriarch Benezia than he had no hope. He had to find a way to fight it if Sovereign turned against him. And that is where his base on Virmire had come into play. Creating an army of the strongest warriors that would follow him … not Sovereign, and research to take away the power of indoctrination. A place for his plan B.

He had kept this plan B from others as he gave each person just a small piece of the puzzle. He did not want Sovereign to know what he was doing. The asari had to be successful before she too became distorted and mentally stripped. She was already the fourth individual that he had put over the project. _The fourth!_ As Saren took a seat next to his pilot he closed his eyes. He was angry. He was tired. And a part of him was desperate. If he did not find the conduit soon, Sovereign might cut him loose. Or should he say that he would be left dead in the water.

"How soon?" Saren asked his pilot.

The turian gave a small jump at the sound of Saren's voice, "ETA in Seventy-nine hours, sir."

"Good," Saren said, looking out at the window.

He had not planned on returning so soon to Virmire but a team of salarians … the Third Infiltration Regiment STG to be exact … had been captured and this would mean that agents of the Council would not be far behind. He was aware that not all of the salarians had been detained but in time even those still in hiding would be part of his test subjects. _Salarians!_ He cursed as he put his head back and closed his eyes. Captain Kirrahe led that regiment and that meant that it would take some skill to capture the rest. _STG!_ He knew that they must have been sent solely by the salarian Councilor Valern … _without Councilor Sparatus' knowledge._ His anger growing as he knew the more people knew of Virmire … Sovereign might take a deeper interest.

"Why have we let the asari and salarians continue to co-rule with us?" He growled over at his pilot.

"Sir?" the pilot nervously asked, not use to Saren speaking more than a few words of instruction to him.

Saren ignored the pilot as his mind told him that had the turian Councilor's office been privy to the mission of the STG team, he would have been notified. _Damn salarians!_ He cursed in his mind. Or had his source betrayed him? "No!" He said out loud causing his pilot to jump again. The images of the prothean warning came flooding back into his mind and the fear made him breathe a little faster. It was hopeless … trying to fight what was coming. He could see that. Even his little Plan B was useless and he knew it. A voice whispered to him that Sovereign was his only hope. Sovereign was the answer for all his problems … if he would just trust fully. _You are needed_, the whisper told him. _Trust in Sovereign … he is your ascension into greatness._

* * *

><p><em>Bring down the sky; <em>

_Let it fall rain. _

_Thunder Sur' Kesh; _

_Here comes the train._

The salarian group called MweZi sang _Bring Down The Sky_ over the sound system in the Keg & Cork Pub. The coastal town of Cook was a human settlement and located on the outskirt of Scott, Terra Nova. Shepard had just attended the memorial services for those who had died on the Asteroid X57 and before returning to the Normandy, she had been talked into stopping in at the pub for a drink by Chakwas. The team had just stopped the asteroid from slamming into the planet and while many on Terra Nova were celebrating that success, Shepard was both disappointed and angry. Disappointed in her decision and angry at herself. She knew that she should have killed Ka'hairal Balak and his band of idiots but she had watched him walk … walk away from the murders that they had committed to save but a handful of people.

"The service was lovely," Chakwas said, as Shepard ordered both a pint of Guinness at the bar.

"If you say so," Shepard said, looking up at the news broadcast over the bar.

"What is wrong?" Chakwas asked her, wondering why the Commander could never just see the good that she accomplished. Why she could never give herself a break.

"I let him go," Shepard answered, looking into Chakwas' eyes. "I should have stopped him … stopped him from hurting any others. But I let him walk."

"You chose to save lives," Chakwas told her.

Shepard gave a bitter laugh, "I chose to make the easier choice. I let my heart override my head and others … many others … will die because of me."

"Shepard," Chakwas moved closer to her as their pints were placed in front of them. "You made the right decision … Why can't you see that?"

Shepard looked at her perfect pint of Guinness and felt the tears burning behind her eyes … "No, doc. I made the wrong decision for a SpecTRe … we make the choices that rob our sleep. We see beyond the now, understand that the right decisions aren't always the easiest ... If I had done that … looked at the big picture ... I would have seen his future victims and silenced him now."

"And those you saved today?" Chakwas asked. "What of them?"

Shepard took a drink and then answered, "Think of it as a triage … Are those decisions easy? Are you wrong to leave those mortally wounded to die without at least trying?"

"Shepard," Chakwas took a breath, "That is not the same."

"No," Shepard gave a small sigh. "But you understand that sometimes we must let someone die to save others … to give others a chance. Do we save one person in front of us knowing that it will condemn hundreds? Thousands?"

"Shepard …" Chakwas started but was cut off.

"I made a decision that was easier on me," Shepard said, bitterly. "I saved a few and condemned who knows how many others just so I could feel better about myself. Just so I could fuckin' sleep."

"Commander," Chakwas could see that Shepard was struggling with the decision she had made on Asteroid X57 … and that it was turning into a self-loathing. That she was feeling the weight of what had been placed on her shoulders and that today she was collapsing under it. "You made the best choice … you can't do this to yourself."

"Commander Shepard?" Reverend Michael Bowman called out to her, surprised to see her still in his community ... and in his local neighborhood pub.

"Reverend," Chakwas stepped in between the two, "please accept my deepest of condolences."

"Thank you," the Reverend said, shaking her hand. "My son … Aaron … he-"

"Daddy," Kate Bowman reached out and put her arms around her father.

Shepard looked up to see the person who had risked her own life to help Shepard comforting her father. Kate had watched as her brother was murdered by the batarian after they refused to tell them about Shepard. Sacrifices … when would they stop? When would the galaxy stop turning on itself? Could there ever be peace?

"Thank you again, Commander," the Reverend said, looking at Shepard. "If I had lost both … of … my … children … I … thank you."

Shepard had been surprised to learn that Kate Bowman's father was a Baptist Minister and the pastor of the Cook Immanuel Baptist Church on Terra Nova. He had led a non-denominational service for all those that had perished on the asteroid earlier that day … with many of the Normandy crew attending out of respect. Shepard had been asked to say a few words and despite her internal struggle had accepted. Sometimes you had to put your own feelings aside and this was one of those times. But now all she wanted was to be left alone … she had failed and she knew it. She had made the wrong decision as a SpecTRe and it was tearing her up inside. She knew that no one but another SpecTRe would have understood and she wished that Tela Vasir was there. She would have understood. Hero? No. Shepard was not a hero but a failure when she let the terrorist walk. Now all she wanted to do was get good and drunk ... but even that was now taken from her.

* * *

><p>Liara had been bent over the table in front of the wall of Kyuos for hours trying to decipher part of the primary message. It had been over a decade since Liara had stood in front of the wall and after her team was murdered and the wall buried she had never expected to be here or see it again. The tunnel that one of her team members and a prisoner had tried to escape down had just been re-opened as well and a secondary team was looking at a new wall of markings that had been found. This new find had rippled through the team creating an excitement that Liara failed to join in on. She was too focused on breaking the code to be sidetracked.<p>

Professor Henell, who Liara had worked with previously on the Dretirop dig, had assigned two salarians on the new wall as Liara continued to work on the primary with three asari and two salarians. Liara had been impressed with the team that Professor Henell had put together and as a team of handlers kept the crew's camp and materials tip top, Liara could see that Antonina Delana had spared no expense on this excavation and research project. As she tried to find a pattern in the markings she reminded herself to send a thank you basket to Delana.

"Doctor T'Soni," the salarian named Kryter interrupted her thoughts as he appeared from the tunnel.

Liara looked up to see the very dirty salarian standing just outside the tunnel waving her over. She put down her tools and as she approached him she knew that she was not that much cleaner than him. Working in the cavern meant you not only had dirt, mud and god knows what else attached to your clothes or skin … but it was also in your mouth, nose and lungs. If that did not put off most, there were also the smells from salt to sulfur. Sometimes the various odors could gag a normal soul but Liara found anything to do with uncovering history … uncovering truths to be almost pleasurable. Almost. There were times that she wished that the smells were sweeter, that the humidity was absent or that her muscles didn't ache after being in the same bent over position for hours. But now, after losing her mother, this is where she needed to be and not stuck on a ship. Liara found her center trying to uncover words through noise … seeing the shape behind the mist … seeing the answer behind the riddle. To do this alone was calming, to share it with other like-minded individuals was stimulating. Liara could spend hours sharing ideas and information with others just as gifted in archeology as her. As she turned on her head lamp and headed deeper into the tunnel with Kryter she smiled. Between the sound of their footfalls, picks against stone and water dripping somewhere … she was in her own heaven. A part of her wished that Shepard could be there with her, but she knew that the Commander had her own responsibilities. They were each, in their own way, trying to fight what was coming. She could only hope that they discovered the truth before the lie swallowed them all.

* * *

><p>Shepard had just finished her staff meeting when Joker informed her that there was a call from the Council coming in. Shepard dismissed the room, leaving only her and Pressly to receive the call. Before a word was spoken, Shepard noticed that it was only Councilor Tevos and Valern … the turian Councilor was not present. Shepard couldn't help but wonder why … but also knew that asking would be useless. Whatever the reason, it would not be shared by either Councilor.<p>

"Commander Shepard," Tevos greeted. "we hear that congratulations are in order … you saved Terra Nova."

"No congratulations," Shepard answered, "Ka'hairal Balak and the bulk of his men escaped."

"Escaped?" Valern sounded confused. "I was to understand he was traded … a life for a life?"

"You could say that," Shepard almost sounded broken.

"You do not sound pleased," Tevos said.

"I let him escape," Shepard confessed. "And now he can continue his violence … continue his enslavement. I failed."

"Yes," Valern said, matter-of-factly.

"That is one way to look at it," Tevos added, wishing that the two were alone. She could see that the SpecTRe was starting to see with the eyes of a Council agent and not an Alliance Officer and it was confusing her. Tevos made a mental note to contact Tela Vasir.

"The only way," Shepard said, "But I am sure that you did not call to hear me complain."

"No," Tevos answered. "We have received information that may be critical to your mission against Saren."

"Information?" That was the first glimmer of hope that Shepard had felt in a long time.

"We've received an urgent message from one of our infiltration regiments in the Traverse," Valern told her.

"An infiltration regiment?" Shepard asked. "As in spies outside the Council?"

"SpecTRes tend to attract attention, Commander," Tevos explained.

"Are you saying that SpecTRes cannot be stealth?" Shepard asked, waving Pressly out of the room. "Or are you saying that SpecTRe movements are too visible internally?"

Valern looked at Tevos and understood one of the reasons why the asari had so readily approved the human. She was not dense. Tevos caught the look from Valern and stifled her own laugh of pleasure as Valern said, "There are ears everywhere, Commander."

"SpecTRes are only one arm of the Council," Tevos continued. "The Special Task Groups are often a better option for monitoring developing situations ... while the agents of the Council focus on true situations."

"How many of these units are there?" Shepard asked, leaning against the conference table and folding her arms.

"We currently have several infiltration units scattered throughout the border regions of Citadel space," Valern answered. "These units report directly to me to limit their exposure."

"I see," Shepard said, and she did. Even inside the Council walls there was distrust and betrayal. With the turian Councilor not present in this meeting she could also see who the odd man out was.

"I am sure you do," Tevos said. "Valern and the STG are a vital part in keeping the balance."

"This particular unit was gathering intel on Saren," Valern went on.

"What did they find?" Shepard asked; glad to know that the Council was still involved somehow with capturing Saren. She had almost thought that they had just wiped their hands of it … leaving it all on her plate alone.

"Unfortunately, the message we received was little more than static," Valen answered. "The infiltration team must be in a situation where they can't set up proper interstellar communications. But the message was sent on a channel reserved for mission-critical communications. Whatever they were trying to tell us, we know it was important."

"Are you sending anyone else?" Shepard asked.

"Considering your interest in Saren," Valern answered, "… we thought you might want to investigate this on your own. Find out what happened to our team."

Shepard had no other leads, no other potential places to go and she nodded, "Where do I go?"

"The signal originated on the planet Virmire," Valern answered. "It is located in the Sentry Omega."

"Once I am there," Shepard said. "Is there anything that you require of me?"

"The Council prefers not to become involved in the specifics of SpecTRe activities," Tevos answered.

"What you don't know?" Shepard said with a cold laugh.

"Commander?" Valern did not understand.

"In politics we call it _plausible deniability,_" Shepard said, as Tevos gave a slight nod of her head.

"We only want you to be aware of your options," Tevos said with a small smile.

"But not the various offices and resources available?" Shepard heard herself say.

"Commander?" Tevos caught the slight anger in the SpecTRe's voice and quickly realized that it was more due to Shepard's recent choices than the Council's actions.

"Nothing," Shepard could have kicked herself. "Excuse me, Councilors. It has been a rough week."

"I would think that this past six months have been … _rough_," Tevos said.

"Has it been that long?" Shepard ran a hand through her hair.

"Time moves swiftly," Valern said. "… something that we understand all too well, Shepard."

"Agreed," Shepard smiled. "And with my short time I'll use part of it to check out Virmire."

As Valern began to give last minute advice to the human, Tevos, with so many lifetimes ahead of her, felt a tinge of sadness at those words. She had already lost a few non-asari friends and it was one of the reasons that she now tried to limit those kinds of relationships. As she looked over at her fellow Councilor she knew that when he passed away it would hurt. And it would leave a vacancy in the galaxy that would be hard to fill.

"If you should need any additional assistance in this matter," Valern said, "please contact only me."

"Understood," Shepard said, slowly standing up from the table.

"Good luck, Commander Shepard," Tevos said. "We will keep you advised if we learn anything else."

"Thank you," Shepard answered just as they disappeared.


	85. Virmire By The Sea

The Mako moved cautiously down the white-sand beach, the turquoise-colored sea to its right, a green jungle to its left. The sound of the surf moving against the sand lost to the occupants in the Mako as the big machine had its own sounds … clanking, creaking and rumbling. "Why did I choose DAT?" Chief Monica Negulesco cracked as she monitored the screens for outside activity.

"Why does anyone choose DAT?" Corporal Marcus Greico added as he stopped the Mako waiting on her before moving past a collection of rocks that towered over them.

"Clear," Negulesco said, and gave him a wink as he pushed the Mako forward. "I would say only those with _shortcomings_ pick tanks with cannons," she teased.

"But you are the one who plays with the big er, gun," Greico answered causing everyone in the Mako to laugh.

"So I'm compensating," Negulesco came back, "You have a problem with that?"

"No prob," Greico said, "No prob at all."

"Good," Negulesco smiled as Shepard cleared her throat.

Despite the banter, the team was on edge. They had no idea what they were going to find when they came into contact with the STG or their signal. Ashley had made an earlier comment that at least the planet was perfect … "We should take tequila and margarita mixes with us." But now, she was silent and biting her lower lip as she rechecked her weapon for the umpteenth time.

"Is it still functioning, Chief?" Shepard asked with a small smile.

"Sorry," Ashley looked slightly embarrassed. "This place … the water … the beauty … it makes me think of Eden Prime."

"Eden Prime wasn't tropical," Satake almost snorted.

"But it was like a little piece of heaven," Shepard said, as Kaidan gave Satake a look that said _silence_.

"Yeah, heaven," Ashley said almost in a whisper. Her mind went to the assault on the riverbank and she felt a chill run up her back. _Please God_, she silently prayed, _don't let me see my team die around me again. Please keep us all safe._

"This isn't Eden Prime," Shepard whispered as she changed seats with Kaidan in order to be next to her Gunnery Chief. "No one is dying here today."

Ashley, without looking up at Shepard, nodded.

"This place is too beautiful for anyone to die here," Kaidan said, causing a few in the Mako to vocally agree and talk about what they would do after the little _froggies_ were found. Swimming, barbequing, sunbathing … Many on the Normandy had commented on Virmire's beauty as the land became visible to the ship. It was true ... Virmire was a lush world that was primarily untouched by any civilization.

But that untouched beauty was not so pleasing to Joker as it created a challenge on where to have the Mako land. After looking at the options around the area that according to the signal was where the missing salarian team was most likely based at, Joker had dropped them on an open beach location just six klicks south. When Pressly asked why so close to the sea and not inland … Joker rolled his eyes as he pulled the screen down and showed the Chief Navigator that inland was not an option as it was too thick with vegetation.

Now as the Mako continued to move forward and the chattering finished, the team went silent if you ignored the slight humming of Private Alcot Satake. He had been taught a quarian song by Tali and he was unconsciously humming the tune of a love lost. Kaidan was about to ask him to stop when Shepard shook he head … his off-tune humming reminded her of Ricky and it was comforting.

"How far are we from the signal?" Shepard asked, referring to the STG's emergency beacon.

"We're just two klicks south now, Commander," Greico answered, maneuvering the Mako around another Cliffside ... the Mako rocking violently as a wave slammed against the vehicle.

"Shit!" Ashley cried as she fell forward and landed against Kaidan ... Satake gave a small scream as he bumped his head … Greico cursed and then apologized as he increased the speed slightly to get them away from the bigger waves … Negulesco began to slide off her seat but by spreading her legs kept herself from falling off completely … Shepard grabbed the back of the seat and felt her fingers get smashed slightly.

"I still don't see any life forms," Negulesco said, looking at the LWIR screen to the left of Greico.

"Nothing?" Kaidan asked, looking at Shepard waving her right hand that had been smashed.

"Not human … or alien," Negulesco answered. "… I mean, outside of the wildlife here."

"And you're sure that they are dumb animals?" Satake asked, rubbing his head.

"What?" Greico looked over at Satake, "You mean dumb like you?"

"Ha, ha," Satake grumbled as the others laughed. "If Wrex were here … you wouldn't talk so big!"

"I'm surprised the Commander didn't bring the krogan," Ashley had said to Kaidan earlier.

Kaidan had shrugged, as he too was slightly confused himself. The Commander did not go anywhere without the krogan … or at least nowhere there was a possibility of a fight. Shepard had heard the question but let it pass not wanting to tell the reason. She had worried how the STG would feel about a krogan appearing and she also worried about Wrex around the salarians. Better safe than sorry until she knew what was going on. But she was feeling vulnerable without her Beast … a fact that she would never have admitted to anyone, especially Wrex.

* * *

><p>Liara was always grateful for a top of the line, expensive so very comfortable, climbing harness and today was no exception. The cave-in that had occurred in the tunnels had opened up a portion of the floor revealing a deep cavern beneath it. After spending days to secure the area, Liara and the salarian Kryter had volunteered to be lowered into the darkness. <em>Volunteered<em> was an understatement really. There was no way that Dr. T'Soni was not going to be there when the cavern's contents were revealed. And if Dr. T'Soni was going then so was Kryter who had developed a respect for her. He loved her quick mind, soft voice and no one could beat her at dardos … a salarian type of card game. It was just one more game that Zazzy, Liara's salarian friend, had taught her before he died.

She had thought alot of Zazzy since her mother had died. He had been her first real friend outside of her family and if one did not count Sibila ... he had been her best friend. It was here in this place ... Aethoyner ... that he had died. That he had been murdered. Liara had almost cried when she stood again in front of the prothean wall of Kyuos because she thought of him. He had loved the wall's vivid shades of red, orange and yellow as she had and it was the first time that she had ever seen him speechless. Zazzy speechless? _Never!_ She would have said had she not seen it herself. Kryter reminded her of Zazzy and it made his memory become even stronger. _If he were still alive_, she thought as she checked her rope. She had so much to tell him ... Her mother's death, Shepard, the reapers ... this last thought made her almost glare towards the darkness.

_Reapers!_ As she was hung over the black hole there was a mix of excitement and fear … Liara found abseiling to be one of activities in her field that she really enjoyed even though she was one of the few. It was an activity that had the illusion of being _simple_, but pulling rappel rope was far from that. There were many issues that could rear its head if you were not careful or unskilled … knots jammed, the rope could get caught, there was too much friction, the rope could break … Liara preferred to use a doubled single rope in place of two ropes as it meant that she didn't have to worry about knot failure or the rope getting jammed in the anchors when she pulled it. She also used a Prusik knot as her safety backup and as she looked over at Kryter she could see that he was nervous.

"Just move slowly," She told him as she began to slowly descend towards the darkness.

"Yes, yes," Kryter said, following her lead.

As she moved away from the light, she listened to the sounds of the darkness … to the deep. She could hear the movement of creatures in flight off to her lower left and as she swung her headlight in its direction … a large black shadow seemed to expand and then retract as it moved away from the light of her helmet.

"Mazas," Kryter said, disgusted. These creatures were close in appearance to the bats on Earth and like their counterparts carried diseases deadly to other species.

"You did have the Zarbrg shot?" Liara whispered to the salarian.

"Of course," he answered as he continued to slowly descend after her. "You?"

"Yes," Liara nodded as she then focused on the sound of rushing water to their lower right. A river? She was still unable to see any of the walls or the bottom and knew that this cavern was even larger and deeper than any of them expected. "Do you feel that?"

"Feel what?" Kryter asked, freezing on the rope.

"That vibration?" Liara asked, swinging her head towards the north.

"What vibration?" Kryter asked, moving again as the asari had not stopped but continued to move downward.

"Oh, Goddess!" Liara prayed, squinting but still seeing nothing but blackness. "Please let it be what I think … Please!"

* * *

><p>"Oh my god," Ashley choked as she looked at the devastation in front of them. The camp of the STG had been the place of a brutal battle that had put both parties through hell. There were bodies of both salarians and krogans scattered about … the sea in that area splashed with green and yellow mixed into its turquoise.<p>

"Holy shit!" Satake agreed as he looked over at a salarian ripped in two. The area gave testament to the unmerciful and brutal actions of both species on top of the bombed out shelters and destroyed aircraft just a few feet off-shore.

Shepard kicked a pod crab off a dead krogan and thanked the stars that Wrex was not there to see his fellow brothers not only dead but … "mutilated."

"Why would anyone do that?" Kaidan asked, looking down at the krogan whose armor had been removed and a symbol cut into the tough skin.

"A warning?" Negulesco offered.

"Could there have been any survivors?" Ashley asked, covering her nose as the smell of decay and burnt bodies blew towards her.

"Yes," Satake said, motioning towards inland as he held up a bush that had pale green blood splattered all over it. "And my guess is that they went this way."

"How many?" Shepard asked, gripping her rifle as she moved towards the escape route.

"Can't tell," Satake answered, pointing towards the ground. "By the looks of this maybe four? Wrex would probably know."

"More than that," Shepard said as she looked closer at the area. "The salarians would try and walk on the same spot to hide their true number … that just shows that they have at least two injured."

"How do you know that?" Ashley asked, "You hunt salarians before?"

"Greico," Shepard called over her comm. as she ignored Ashley's question.

"Yes, Commander," Greico answered, shifting in his seat inside the Mako.

"We are going to need backup," he heard Shepard say. "Contact Pressly and tell him that we will need Lt. Girard and the Alpha team brought ashore."

As Greico responded, Shepard looked at the devastation and knew that she would probably need Wrex but the body of the mutilated krogan worried her. "Have the turian join the team as well …" she said, then as she thought of the damaged comm. station made a last minute decision to have the quarian brought as well, "… also have Mechanic Joe brought with them."

"Commander?" Ashley, hearing Shepard using her nickname for Tali, could not believe that Shepard would request the quarian. Putting her in the middle of the bloody scene was the last thing that she expected from Shepard who always seemed overly protective of the young quarian.

"Commander?" Greico's voice heard in unison with Ashley's was also surprised.

"She might be able to repair and hack the data in the computer station here," Shepard answered both as she looked at the damaged station. "It might shed light on what the STG is really doing here … in case we do not locate them … alive."

"That jungle looks challenging for a search and rescue," Ashley said, checking her weapon yet again.

"Greico," Shepard, her mind seeing Wrex but afraid to call for him, called over the mic, "We will also need jungle packs and machetes … also ..." Wrex appeared in her mind again, "... supplies for a week out here."

"A week?" Greico asked, hoping that he heard wrong.

"If we are lucky," Shepard answered, her gut telling her that this mission was going to turn deadly before they left … if they left. "We'll make camp upstream from this place and once everyone is assembled, we'll head out."

"You know that this is an odd place to find krogans," Kaidan told Shepard as a pod crab attached itself to his pant leg.

"Saren," Shepard said, as she watched him shake it off and kick it across the water. "They have to be working for him."

"But why here?" Kaidan asked, brushing his pant leg. "What does this planet have that Saren would want? That would require krogans?"

"An energy plant?" Satake answered, almost embarrassed.

Shepard looked over at the soldier, "A what?"

"Eldfell-Ashland Energy started to build a power plant here about five years ago," Satake answered, looking at his omni-tool. "Tali said that the construction of the …" Satake looked at his notes, "hydroelectricity plant was stopped because of the … power shifts that this area of the … no, the nearby Terminus Systems sees."

"Tali?" Shepard fought a grin as there were rumors that the Private and the quarian were becoming closer after Noveria. Shepard was not one to give ear to scuttlebutt but now she was beginning to wonder.

"Uh … Yes, ma'am," Satake turned a slight shade of red. "She downloaded the information on my omni … in case you wanted to look at it."

"Why would they build an energy plant here?" Ashley asked, looking around at nothing but the sea, sand and vegetation.

"They had hoped to build a resort here," Satake answered, still looking at the data. "But the resort … the city … it was scrapped because …"

"Power shifts," Shepard helped Satake as he was scrolling through the information.

"Where is this power plant?" Kaidan asked.

"On the other side of this island," Satake answered, pulling up the holo to show the team.

"Of course it is," Shepard frowned as she looked towards the thick jungle. "Why would it be just a few klicks away? Someplace quick and easy? Nope. Gotta be across town."

* * *

><p>Liara was removing the harness off of Kryter when they both heard scuttling off in the darkness. Both breathed a sigh of relief as the sound travelled away from them and not towards … "What do you think that was?" the salarian whispered to Liara as she carefully put his harness next to hers and then turned on her second light.<p>

"Something harmless and non-aggressive," she answered as she began to sweep the area with her hand held light. She had wanted to move deeper into the cavern, move towards the north where she was praying that it held … _no_. She would not jinx it by saying what she was hoping to see. So instead of rushing towards it … towards her hope blindly, she kept her head. She kept her focus. Instead she looked for the perfect location to have their supplies lowered down to them. Supplies required that would give light to the area; tools to record and reveal what had been waiting there for centuries; items to keep them fed and rested as needed.

"Let us hope they are harmless," Kryter said, using his hand held light to sweep around the cavern.

Having determined an area that appeared safe and large enough, Liara began to drop light sticks around the designated area and once done radioed for the supplies. It was going to be a long few hours as they waited on the supplies, on additional team members to be lowered and then there was the setting up of the camp. It would be hours before Liara could investigate the northern part of the cavern. _It has to be there_, Liara told herself as she dropped another light stick.

* * *

><p>The shuttle carrying Lt. Girard, the Alpha team, Garrus and Tali landed in the agreed upon spot and while Ashley was not happy to see Wrex exit the shuttle, Satake was so excited he raced through the water to chest bump up against him. The act only left the much smaller human bouncing off the krogan's chest and landing butt first in the water. "Allie!" Tali cried out as she raced over to the laughing soldier.<p>

"You asked for Wrex?" Ashley whispered to Shepard.

"No," Shepard frowned. Looking at him only made her concerns about him and the salarians increase. If he saw what they had done to one of the krogans back at the STG base ... _Merde!_ She hissed under her breath. Would he see the dead bodies of his own species as a call to arms against the STG team? If he saw his own people battling the very creatures that represented the genophage would he change sides? As the krogan moved towards her she wondered if she could kill him if he turned against them. If he turned against her. The question and the image of Wrex lying dead at her feet caused her to look away from him. _Fribby frabby fikernelly!_ She wanted to shout as he continued to come towards her. His involvement on Virmire was a risk and she knew it.

"Shepard," Wrex said, coming to a stop in front of her. "Did you forget to add me to your list?"

"List?" Shepard looked up into the red eyes of the krogan and didn't know if she could lie to him. She didn't know so she said nothing as he continued to look at her … waiting.

The two stood face to face for a few minutes, but it felt like hours to Shepard, when Wrex moved closer to the much smaller human and simply said, "You need me."

"Commander," Greico came over her comm., "do you want me to take the quarian back to the salarian base?"

Shepard, glad for the distraction, moved away from Wrex and towards Greico in the Mako. "Take the quarian, Williams and Satake," Shepard instructed. "I need to know what the infiltration team was up to."

* * *

><p>The flood lights and generators were still in their crates as the team sat around the unopened items and grabbed a quick bite before they started to set up the base and equipment. It had taken longer to get all the equipment and personnel down and Liara and Kryter were famished. As she bit into her meal, Liara looked towards the north and fought the urge to take a light and just take a quick stroll. No. She must be smart. She must be patient. The salarian was seated on a crate next to her and as someone's iMuse played disco she grabbed her pack that contained a flask of Jameson whiskey. She had preferred the Four Roses bourbon but this was Shepard's drink.<p>

"Do you like disco?" Kryter asked Liara as he looked at her flask.

"Disco?" Liara asked after taking a drink, and seeing where his eyes were focused offered him a drink.

"The human music," he said, taking the flask and choking after trying it. "You like this toxin?"

Liara nodded and smiled as she began to answer, "It reminds me of my Eliz…" but then she stopped. Was Shepard hers? They had not spoken in almost two months since she had left the Normandy. _Two months_, she thought as she took back her flask. That time frame in the past would not have meant much to Liara … but she worried that Shepard would see it different. Aikaterine had told her that humans treated months as asari treated years … while two months was not that long to Liara she worried that Shepard would feel different.

"Who is Eliz?" Kryter asked, sliding off the crate and bringing Liara out of her thoughts of time and Shepard.

"Elizabeth," Liara corrected, putting the flask back in her pack. "She is a … friend."

"Asari?" Kryter asked, taking their trash and putting into the waste container.

"Human," Liara said, "Now, no more talk of her … let's focus on getting the equipment set up."

"Do you want to play a game of dardos tonight?" Kryter asked as they began to open a flood light crate.

Liara nodded as she removed a panel and then stopped and looked at Kryter, "Is two months long?"

"It depends," he answered, moving his panel.

"If it were a friend?" Liara asked, hoping that her question sounded casual.

"A friend?" Kryter shook his head, "No."

"Good," Liara gave a relieved sigh as she moved to the next panel.

"A good friend, however," Kryter mused as he removed the last panel to the crate. "Time is so short … feelings may be hurt. The friend may not feel that they matter."

"She would know that she matters," Liara argued, hoping that she was right.

"This Elizabeth?" Kryter asked, slowly pulling out a piece of the flood light. "Good … then what is two months?"

Liara frowned as she placed the panels on top of each other and would have continued the discussion except Donna Summer's _I Feel Love_ began to dance around the cave. The electronic beat, the bedroom rhythm, the choir of Summer repeating _I got you_, was surprisingly pleasing to Liara. To the asari members on this dig site it was quickly understood that the salarians were _villagers_ and it meant disco, disco, disco. It also meant being told the trivia of each song as it played … Kryter at this very moment telling Liara that this song not only changed the sound of disco with its synthesized backing track but also inspired future techno.

As Kryter went on about the song and the singer, Liara pulled out the base of the light and wondered if Shepard knew this song. _Shepard_, she frowned again. They needed to get the camp up so she could check out the section north of them. It just had to be there … for Shepard. For the galaxy … Liara began to put the flood light together with Kryter and thought, _it must be there for Thessia_.

* * *

><p>Shepard was checking the jungle packs with Kaidan when they heard a loud boom and saw white smoke coming from the salarian base. "Wrex stay here!" Shepard yelled at him as she raced towards the smoke with Kaidan. She did not want him to see the mutilated krogan.<p>

"Commander!" Greico came over the comm. as she ran as fast as she could in the sand.

"Status report!" Shepard called out as they came around the cliff to see the area that had once held the comm. station engulfed in smoke.

"Satake is down," Greico almost cried.

Tali was holding Satake in her arms, telling him it would be alright as Ashley was bent over coughing up yellow gunk. As Shepard ran towards them, the sand and water slowing her down, she cursed herself for not coming with the team.

"I'm okay," Satake croaked out before turning his head and coughing up yellow as well.

Greico was next to him with a medkit and before Shepard could call for a medic from Alpha team back at base … "It's some kind of toxin," Greico said, looking up at Shepard and Kaidan.

"Frackin' salarians!" Shepard cursed as she moved towards the still smoking comm. station. "I should have seen that."

"No, Commander," Tali said, still holding Satake. "I should have seen it … I saw one of the wires but … I … I wanted to …" the quarian stopped before she said _impress you_. The last thing she wanted was to admit that her mistake was due to thinking about impressing the Commander. About playing the hero.

"Sneaky bastards," Ashley said, standing up as her hands shook.

"You saved us," Tali said to Ashley.

"It was nothing," Ashley said as she tried to stop her hands from shaking. When the explosion happened the quarian was thrown back and Satake had raced to her … raced to the smoke that was filling up the area. Ashley watched as he fell over, suffocating … and she had pulled both out. Even as her own lungs began to struggle, her eyes closing shut and her throat tightening she had went in twice … saving the civilian first and then Satake.

"No it wasn't," Shepard told her as she put her hand on the Chief's cheek and patted it softly. "And they wonder why I love you," Shepard teased and then kissed her on the cheek.

"When does this end?" Ashley asked, her voice weak and sounding slightly dry from the smoke. "How many more will die?"She had thought that she had failed when she saw both the quarian and Satake disappear in the smoke. Even now, seeing that all of them were safe … she felt … a failure.

Shepard could see that her Chief was struggling to get it back together and so she reached out and held one of her hands. They had spoken about Eden Prime and the loss of Ashley's fellow soldiers there … it had left her feeling extreme guilt. Survivor's guilt. Shepard knew that type of guilt. She could see a part of that guilt … that sense of failure, creeping back into her Chief. As Ashley looked down at their hands joined, she leaned in and whispered, "Make me your shoulder to lean on … as I have made you mine."

Ashley began to tear up and trying to pull herself together, joked, "Does that kiss include a two week shore leave?"

Shepard squeezed her hand, smiled and winked, "After this mission ... anything you want, Chief."

"Ma'am," Ashley squeezed back and pulled away just as Wrex arrived at the STG camp.


	86. Machete & A Dozen

Captain Kirrahe had been writing in his daily log when the sabotaged comm. station was tripped. He closed the log and exited his tent just in time to see the cloud of smoke off in the distance … "_Kunatas_," he said as he shook his head. This was what the salarians called _krogans_ and the words useless, stupid or inbred would have been kinder words in its place.

"Shall I take a team and go look?" Commander Rentola asked as he hurried towards Kirrahe.

"No," Kirrahe answered, taking out a peppermint stick from his pocket. "We have lost enough of our team ... we wait here."

"Haya and Goro won't last much longer," Rentola said as they both looked at the smoke.

"They will be here soon," Kirrahe said as he unwrapped the stick and placed it in his mouth.

"They had better," Rentola said, "All of our supplies are running low … and while we can hunt for food and make weapons if needed … medical supplies are another thing. We do not have a holistic physician on the team."

"Councilor Valern will have sent reinforcements," Kirrahe said, moving the peppermint stick around in his mouth. "A fleet is coming … do not lose hope, Commander."

"Yes … a fleet," Rentola looked over at the tent holding the two wounded salarians and hoped that the Captain was right. They had lost so many of their members to date and these two wounded could not last long.

Some of the team had gone missing while investigating the power plant on the west side of the island while others died in the surprise attack in their original base. Rentola knew that the krogans had to have been given their exact coordinates by the way that they were attacked … It was intelligent, quick and precise. Three words he would have never used to describe krogans or their actions. To him and the team as a whole they were a species that was crude, ignorant and loud … yet they had not only surprised them but also destroyed their base camp and ship before the STG put them down. Who had tipped them off?

"Let's place additional eyes around the perimeter," Kirrahe said before he returned to his tent.

Rentola looked up at the sky and could see that it would be night soon. "Which one betrayed the team?" he asked no one as he turned towards the tent that he shared with three others. It would be another long night listening closely for any sounds that said intruders … as he continued to wonder who had betrayed them. A question that also tormented his Captain. Betrayal within the STG was unheard of … but someone had told the krogans where they were. As the image of Lt Ganto Imness came to his mind he quickly pushed the image away … pushed it away and hated himself for thinking that Ganto would be the betrayer. It had to be someone else … anyone else.

* * *

><p>Shepard and her own team had not sweat this much in years as they moved deeper into the jungle … a tropical rainforest that cut out the sky in places and gave shelter to a mosquito like insect the team had christened Titleists … since the blood-sucking bastards were the size of golf balls. The insects were green with yellow wings that matched a funnel that left welt-like marks where they fed. The insects seemed to not notice either Shepard or Girard which made Kaidan joke that they "must not care for French food."<p>

"Or biotics," Shepard had added since the insects also did not bother Wrex or Kaidan. Truth was, no one knew why the insects feasted on the others leaving those four alone … but none of them were complaining. Well, at least the four that were not being abused by the Virmire blood-suckers.

When not beating off the Titleists or feeling dwarfed by the trees that reached over ninety feet, the group felt outsmarted by the _froggies_. The STG trail disappeared at points as if the team simply vanished into thin air and it could take hours requiring extreme patience by Shepard and her team to pick up the trail again. As a slow and methodical sweep was performed during this type of search, nerves were put on edge as the heat hit a stifling 34 celsius with the humidity at a suffocating 64%.

"Sweet Bacchus!" Shepard groaned as she cut through the brush with a machete.

"I think I'm going to pass out," Kaidan told her as she stopped and motioned for the team to hydrate.

"No passing out," Shepard said, upturning her own canteen and wishing that she was in a shower.

"That's the last of my water," Lt. Girard said, as a few of the Alpha team said the same.

Even with the sky semi-hidden from them, Shepard could tell that night was falling. They would need to build a platform for sleeping soon and so she finally put the search on hold until the AM. A stream could be heard just off to the north of them and after re-filling their canteens in the clear, cold water … Girard and his team cut sapling poles with their machetes for the platform. Shepard and Kaidan, meanwhile, began to clear away an area to place the platform as Wrex hauled away the debris as needed.

"How do you think the others are doing?" Kaidan asked as he helped Shepard pull up a bush that had a purple plant that could have been orchids.

"Probably building a bonfire and collecting sea shells," she joked, stopping to remove another layer of clothing. Shepard had left Tali, Ashley, Garrus and Satake back on the beach with Dr. Jamin Bakari and Nurse Rosamund Draven. Shepard had wanted to leave a few of Lt. Girard's men but she couldn't really spare them … so she had left Garrus in charge. "Don't fail me, turian," she had told him and he had promised to keep them safe.

Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven had been requested to land on the island to assess the three that had been exposed to the salarians' surprise gift. Shepard also wanted to have a real medical doctor close by if things went south. Chakwas had wanted to also come ashore but Shepard denied her request ... But did that matter?

"Does no one listen to me?" Shepard had asked as Chakwas appeared from the shuttle.

"Did you say something?" Chakwas asked cheekily as she passed by Shepard and headed straight for Satake.

"You aren't related to Wrex by chance?" Shepard cracked back as Chakwas pretended to ignore her. Now as she cut away stubborn foliage, sweat running down her back, Virmire golf balls bleeding her team, the memory of her hard headed Medical Chief made Shepard laugh out loud.

"Shepard?" Kaidan, who had stopped to stretch his arm, was caught off-guard by the Commander's deep throaty laugh.

"Nothing," Shepard answered and seeing him trying to work out his tired arm reminded her Lt. to relax as he swung the machete. "It's all in the blade, Alenko … not your arm."

Kaidan looked a little embarrassed at her correction of his swing but when she followed it with a playful wink he couldn't help but grin. He knew that they would never be more than friends what with Grace pregnant, friendship with her had to be enough. As he looked at her swinging her machete with ease he wished that things could have been different. But he had made his bed and after telling his parents that he was going to be a father the net was cast. As they went back to clearing the area, Kaidan asked, "Do really think that Saren could be here?"

"I hope so," Shepard said, stopping to take another drink from her canteen. "I'd hate to sweat off twenty pounds just to find a bunch of salarians with binoculars out here krogan watching."

"Speaking of krogan," Kaidan stuck the machete into the ground. "Wrex has not looked happy since he landed."

"Does he ever look happy?" Shepard asked, trying to brush away his observation.

"I guess not," Kaidan answered, taking a drink from his canteen and then pulling the machete out of the ground and going back to work.

As they finished clearing the area, Shepard couldn't stop thinking about Beast. The darkness in Wrex had started when he had arrived at the STG base and saw the mutilated corpse of the krogan. She had tried to say something, anything to calm him, but his eyes seemed to turn into a cold dark predator as he pulled a dead salarian off an overturned table and crushed its head with his hands. Shepard watched as he then chewed out the dead salarian's heart and once swallowed dropped the creature on the ground and stormed away. Shepard looked over at the body that seemed to be missing its head now as there was nothing but mush left from the scrawny neck up.

This had also been witnessed by Ashley who had gasped out loud when the krogan's eyes rolled back like a shark's as he tore into the chest. "What the hell?" Ashley whispered as Wrex stormed away, "Hannibal Lecter was a choir boy compared to what he just did."

"C'mon Ash," Shepard looked over at her. "The salarian was already dead … Hannibal Lecter was not into dead bodies."

"Still," Ashley pulled her shotgun closer. "Did you see his eyes … they … they rolled …"

"He's a krogan," Shepard reminded her. "His body is going to do different things. You saw what they had done to one of his own kind … he was just upset. Nothing more."

"If you say so," Ashley said. "But I'm gonna keep my eye on him, if it's all the same to you."

"Fine," Shepard said, still looking at the krogan who stepped on another dead salarian as he passed. Even as Shepard defended him, a part of her was in Ashley's camp. That part … the part that said he was an alien that was drawn to violence … warned that she may have expected too much from the krogan. Down deep she knew that he was a ruthless, barbaric and killing machine. He was one level up from a great white shark and based on his actions, the salarians were chum. As she had stood over the mangled salarian she thought of the batarians … would she do the same? _But will he turn on you?_ A part of Shepard asked as she looked over at the krogan. _Are you expecting too much from his kind? From him?_

* * *

><p>After the archeology team had set up camp, the Cave Lighting TM LED systems flooding the surrounding areas causing the mazas to seek shelter farther away … away from the brightness that these intruders brought with them. As the cavern was lit up, Kryter and the others smiled as Liara looked at the northern part of the place and … frowned.<p>

_It has to be here_, she told herself as she stood facing north at walls that had markings but nothing else. Yes, there were markings on the walls that in the past would have pleased her but today she was being picky. Today she was being hard to please. She wanted something else. As the other team members looked at the stones that appeared to have once been used as seating and a river on the east side that turned into a waterfall and dropped another thirty feet … Liara began to look and feel the northern part of the cave. As the other members of the team flashed their lights at the lower level of the waterfall … Liara remained at the north wall pushing and pulling stones. As Kryter asked what she was looking for she continued on with her searching without responding.

What could she say? That the vibration was stronger here? That she had to be right? That she could not see Shepard empty-handed? _No_, she told herself. _Just keep looking … it has to be here._ She had felt this before … back on Thessia. "It has to be behind the wall," she said out loud as she pressed against a stone with a cat looking creature on it. Nothing! Then she found a stone that after a closer inspection, sounded hollow. It had a drawing of a web and a type of spider and after carefully removing it … yes, Liara wanted to see what was behind it, but to damage or destroy the painted artifact would have been unacceptable to the archeologist and historian in her ... Liara smiled at the tunnel it had hid.

Kryter did not know how he let Dr. T'Soni talk him into this but here he was crawling behind her in the tunnel just an hour after it was opened up. Yep, he had followed her into a pitch black, tight, musty tunnel that made him cringe as webbing attached itself to his face on occasion. How the webbing passed by the doctor in front of him made no sense. He had hoped that she would have caught it all, but here he was … stopping on occasion to remove the sticky silk from his exposed areas.

"That marking was accurate," he told her as he spit out more of the webbing.

"Shhh," Liara whispered back. "I think that we are close to the other side."

"Truthfully?" Kryter was ready to get out of the tight spot she had talked him into. How Dr. T'Soni seemed to not mind or notice any of the negatives amazed him … but as he tried pulling the sticky silk off of him yet again, she continued moving farther into the tunnel. "Are you sure?"

"I think I see light up ahead," She told him as she pulled away some of the sticky silk from her own face. At times she felt disoriented in the darkness and breathing was a little bit of a struggle but there was no time for complaining. She could take a cold shower later … right now she needed to be completely present both in mind and body.

* * *

><p>The main camp on the beach had been set up with tents for sleeping, to hold supplies and medical needs … The medical staff had checked out the two soldiers and quarian and they were given a clean bill of health. They had not been exposed long enough to the toxin, Chakwas had informed them … but that was not really the truth. There was something odd about it and Chakwas had a sneaking suspicion that if Wrex had been exposed.<p>

"Salarians have their skills," Chakwas had whispered to Dr. Bakari as they ran a sample through their E-Toxin. "I think this was left to harm one kind of species alone."

"That genophage was not enough?" Bakari shook his head. "And here we thought us humans did not get along."

Ashley, having been released by Chakwas, walked to the path that Shepard and the others had taken. Now that she was feeling better, Ashley was champing at the bit and hated not being with the Commander.

"Please watch over them," Ashley had just spoken as Chakwas walked up next to her.

"Watch over all of us," Chakwas added, looking back towards the surf.

"Watch over you," Ashley grinned at the doctor. "I don't think the Commander was happy to see you."

"Now she sees how I feel when she disobeys my orders," Chakwas gave a slight laugh.

"Do you think …" the words cut short as the sound of gunfire was heard.

Two krogan had appeared from out of the jungle, stumbled really, upon the camp. As they came into the clearing it caught everyone off-balance. As they all looked at each other, Satake was the first to respond as he jumped in front of Tali before firing his weapon. This seemed to set off the domino as Garrus joined in his chorus, followed by the taller of the krogans. The shorter krogan was closest to them and he pulled out a grenade and threw it at center of the makeshift camp. From that point on … chaos followed.

Satake, seeing that they were exposed, countered with a smoke bomb as he yelled at Tali to stay down while Garrus searched for a spot to get comfortable with his rifle. As Chakwas and Ashley ran back towards the camp, they got a glimpse of the medical staff running towards the medic tent when the smoke took away all visibility.

"Damn it!" Ashley swore as her and Chakwas struggled against the sand to get to the battle. Just as they reached the edge of the camp, another grenade from the krogans went off, knocking both back and off their feet.

Flashes of light, popping sounds, screams and smoke … yet as Ashley found herself lying in the sand on her back, small cuts on her face, she thought of a July 4th celebration with her family as the smoke bomb had a firework smell to it.

"Can you see them?" Chakwas yelled over the third loud bang as another grenade went off.

"No!" Ashley yelled back, inwardly cursing at whoever set off the smoke bomb.

"Does anyone have a visual?" Chakwas shouted as she stood up, pulled her pistol out and headed back away from the smoke.

"Someone has to," Ashley shouted back as she looked around to get her bearings.

Chakwas, by sheer luck, saw the turian up on a rock closer to the ocean and he was firing at something. It had to be the intruders and so she looked in the direction that he was aiming as she shouted out to Ashley, "Over there!" … as she pointed in the same direction.

"Find safety!" Ashley told her as she began to head in that direction.

"Not today," Chakwas said, pistol ready as she followed behind her.

* * *

><p>"What the hell?" Kaidan said startled as the first grenade went off.<p>

"The camp," Lt. Girard said, motioning his men to get their gear, "they are under attack!"

"Stop!" Shepard commanded as she motioned the men to sit back down, "the only direction we're going in is west ... and that is in the morning."

"Commander?" Lt. Girard and the others could not believe what they had just heard.

"Shepard is right," Wrex growled as he appeared out of the jungle. "By the time you made it back there … the battle would be over."

As Kaidan went to pull up the comm. line to those on the beach, Shepard shook her head, "Radio silence."

"But Shepard …" Kaidan started to protest but was cut short.

"You may give away their locations," Shepard said. "Until they reach out … silence." … _and prayers,_ she thought to herself as she looked down at the ground. _God, please watch over them_.

As sounds of the battle made its way to their camp, they sat in silence. No one looked at each other and Shepard had to fight to not go running towards her team now potentially being slaughtered.

"Williams will see them through," Kaidan finally broke the silence.

As others began to talk about the abilities of the Gunnery Chief, Satake and even the turian … a feeling of hope filled the camp. But Shepard appeared as a stone statue as all of her thoughts and emotions were pushed deep inside her. She thought of the quarian and then there was Dr. Chakwas … they might battle on occasion, but the older woman was her equal … her confidante … her "friend."

Kaidan heard Shepard say friend and he moved closer to her. "I meant it when I said that Ash will get them through. She has grown even more since Eden Prime … you have made her stronger and allowed her to develop new skills."

Shepard looked over at Kaidan and with dark eyes nodded. She hoped that he was right … that Ashley did not lose her footing in the battle. That her memories of Eden Prime did not make her choke. Shepard turned away from Kaidan and looked down at her own hands and prayed.

* * *

><p>Chakwas was now praying for the smoke again as she came face-to-face with the taller of the krogans. <em>Something wicked this way comes,<em> screamed in her mind as she pulled up her pistol, aimed between its eyes and pulled the trigger. The krogan seemed to snort as pieces of his flesh ripped apart, some of it landing on Chakwas … but he did not go down to her horror. Instead he barreled towards her but before she could fire again, another two shots were heard on both sides of her. Ashley and Garrus had both shot at the same time, causing the krogan's head to become misshapen as pieces on both side were ripped apart. The krogan faltered in step as the bullets tore into him and then Chakwas watched as he fell face first in front of her. Just another couple of inches and he would have landed on her.

As Chakwas stood looking down at the krogan, Ashley walked up, pointed her shotgun at the back of its deformed head and pulled the trigger again.

"And your momma is ugly!" Satake could be heard yelling as the other krogan raced after him … sand kicking up as the two went down the beach … water splashing against the two … Tali, swearing at Satake's foolishness, racing behind the both of them.

"Garrus!" Ashley yelled up at the turian. "Do you have a shot?"

"Not yet!" he answered, placing an eye to the scope. "The quarian is in the way … but once I have a clean shot … say goodbye to our last visitor standing."

"It needs to happen before he reaches Allie," Ashley said, looking up at Garrus. "Don't miss either."

"Never," Garrus said, rifle against his knee as he continued to wait on the shot.

"Oh, God … no," Chakwas had stopped watching the last of the battle as her eye caught the lifeless bodies of both Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven. They had been caught in one of the blasts and were torn open and positioned as a child's Raggedy Ann and Andy. Rag dolls that had been carelessly thrown on a floor … "Jai," Chakwas choked as she reached out and touched Bakari's hand.

Ashley heard the doctor's painful sob as Garrus' shots toppled the krogan just a few feet behind Satake. The sound of grief made her look away from the running man show to Chakwas who was now on her knees and fighting back her tears at the sight of her two colleagues … her friends … murdered.

"Mission accomplished!" Garrus called out cheerfully, but was silenced by a look from Ashley that said something was wrong.

Chakwas, her heart heavy and her throat tight, carefully stood up and turned to Ashley, "We need to ensure that there are no more of those krogans near."

"I'm so sorry," Ashley said, reaching out and touching Chakwas' shoulder … something that she had seen Shepard do many times.

"There is no time for that now," Chakwas said, forcing herself to stay in control of her emotions. "We must secure the area and update the Commander."

* * *

><p>Kryter heard Liara hit the stone floor as she fell out of the tunnel and he quickly followed … "Kryter!" she cried out as he landed on top of her.<p>

"You couldn't move away faster?" Kryter grumbled as she pushed him off.

"You could not wait until I moved?" Liara argued back as she stood up and wiped away the dirt.

"Well I …" Kryter stopped as he watched Liara move away from him and scan the room with her flashlight.

"I knew it!" Liara almost seemed to yell as the light hit the black beam that was peeking out of the stone wall.

"What is it?" Kryter asked, moving from behind Liara to see what had caused her excitement.

"A beacon!" Liara answered as she moved carefully, advancing on the device that she believed could be the key to stop Saren. The key that she had found ... _A gift for Shepard_, she thought as she ran her light up and down it.

"Prothean?" Kryter asked, moving just as carefully next to her.

"Yes," Liara nodded as she once again began to sweep her flashlight around the area. Kryter began to move ahead of her and she warned, "Be careful … there could be a trap."

"Trap?" he stopped and looked over at her.

"The beacon found on Phoros had blades set all around it," Liara answered. "The first person who approached it was decapitated for starters."

"Starters?" Kryter's eyes getting bigger. "Seems that would be the finishers as well."

"He ended up in pieces," Liara said, looking at a chip on the floor. "Luckily the rest of the team was unharmed ... that is why many do not want to be the first person. The risk is too great."

"First person?" Kryter quickly jumped behind Liara. "Maybe you should go first ... I don't like risk."

"Nor do I," Liara sighed as she looked back at him and then continued to look for any signs of a trap.

* * *

><p>"How is Dr. Chakwas?" Shepard asked Ashley over the comm..<p>

"Quiet," Ashley was heard to say. "… hurting ... angry."

Shepard wiped her face with a wet handkerchief and looked at Girard, "Do you need me to send any support?"

"No, ma'am," Ashley answered. "We have secured the area … Garrus is pretty upset though. He says that he should have seen the krogans … that if he had been more alert ..."

"Based on what you said it seems that both sides were surprised," Shepard told her.

"The fact that Allie was the first one to shoot shows how off everyone was," Kaidan said, poking at Satake to lighten the mood.

"I heard that!" Satake's voice said somewhere off in the background.

"He heard that!" Tali had chimed in which made a few guys laugh.

"Hey Joe," Shepard was glad to know that Mechanic Joe had survived the attack and debated on having her return to the Normandy with Dr. Chakwas. _Who are you kidding?_ Shepard told herself. _No matter what you said, neither of them would return_. It was true. They were both in it for the long haul now … no matter what the Commander said or wanted.

"I have set up a few boob traps," Tali said as Satake was heard to say _booby, the word is booby_, in the background. "Booby! If anyone comes near the camp again … at least from the nearest jungle … we will hear them."

"Good," Shepard said, but was thinking about Dr. Chakwas and how she was probably feeling. The doctor had really worked on getting Dr. Bakari to return to the Normandy after he had chosen to leave instead of working under the SpecTRe. Shepard knew that there would be guilt on her Medical Chief's plate. A big serving of it. Hell, what soldier … what officer … survived without that seasoning in their duffel bag?

As Kaidan spoke with Ashley, Shepard stood up and walked away from the group. She must have walked a quarter of a mile from camp to a place that she had found earlier. A small area within the jungle that was open to the sky and it was here that she stopped and looked up. As she thought about what her team had just been through she heard movement but knew who it was. She knew his sound.

"You should not walk off alone," Wrex said as he moved next to her.

"I knew I wasn't alone," Shepard said as she closed her eyes for a minute and opened them again … looking back up at the sky.

"No?" Wrex gave a small laugh as he looked down at the delicate human. She would be no match if a krogan found her alone … and this thought worried him. "What troubles you?"

"A dozen," Shepard said, still looking up at the stars just coming out. "A dozen good souls … How many more will I lose before this is over?"

"Another dozen," Wrex answered, keeping an eye on their surrounding area. "Maybe even more than that. Are you willing to watch others die if needed to stop Saren?"

"Sacrifice others?" Shepard shook her head, "No."

"You aren't getting weak, are you?" Wrex asked, tightening one of his gauntlets.

Shepard focused on the bead of sweat rolling down her temple as she changed the subject, "You would think that it would cool down now."

Wrex moved closer to her, "Do not grow weak or more people will die because of it. There are costs in life and the capture of Saren will require a heavy price. But if you doubt yourself … that number will only increase."

"I know that," Shepard angrily responded as she looked over at him. "I'm not weak and there is no doubt! I'm the fuckin' hero of the Blitz, krogan!"

"Don't forget it!" He growled back. "You could not have thought this was going to be any easier than what you did there … did you?"

"Not easy," Shepard said, her anger gone as quick as it appeared. "Maybe I shouldn't have accepted the Normandy. You and I could have just stolen a shuttle and …" Shepard dropped her head in frustration.

Wrex put his hand softly on her shoulder, "It won't get any easier, pup."

Shepard smiled at his pet name for her and straightened up, "No it won't, Beast ... so enough of your whiny-ass, belly-aching," she teased. "We have work to do ... lives to save …"

"… barrels of ryncol to drink and bathe in!" Wrex roared as he shifted his armor.

"Make it Jameson and I'm right there with you!" Shepard started to laugh as a cool breeze brushed past her. "Well, not the bathing part."

Kaidan and the others heard the krogan laugh as the wind carried it to them and he also thought he heard Shepard's as well. But it was so faint that he could not be sure. Like almost everyone else on the Normandy … he did not understand why Shepard trusted the krogan and as their laughter made its way up to them … what the two could find so funny together. That relationship was a mystery to everyone … even to the two of them, if truth were to be told. A mystery.


	87. Thirty Pieces of Silver

"If you and your fellow Monty Pythons don't lower your weapons," Shepard warned the leader of the salarians that had circled her team, "… you'll be the first to see what it's like to not have legs."

"Really?" The salarian seemed unbelieving of her abilities as he stepped closer, his weapon pointing at her face. "Now my turn," he said while neither he nor any of his men lowered their weapons. . "I would suggest that you and your companions lower yours before you are silenced … permanently."

Shepard and her team had made it to the STG camp shortly after midday and the salarians had quickly circled the intruders. The situation became even more tense as they saw Wrex … he was not what they had wanted to see, especially after all that they had been through. All either side needed was one wrong move and no one would make it out alive.

"Everyone calm down," Kaidan, trying to not see a massacre, moved in between Shepard and the salarian, as Wrex began to growl behind her.

"Agreed," said a salarian that had just exited a tent a few feet away from them. "Commander Rentola, stand down ... Do you not recognize the first human SpecTRe?"

Shepard looked over at the salarian but was just too tired to make any effort of civility.

"I'm Lt. Alenko," Kaidan said as he extended his hand to the salarian. "… and this … as you know is Commander Shepard."

"I'm Captain Kirrahe," The salarian shook his hand as he continued to look at Shepard. "You have entered the camp of the Third Infiltration Regiment STG. Unfortunately, you and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hotzone."

"We know," Kaidan said, as Shepard continued to stand in between Wrex and the salarians. "Our second team left on the beach came under attack yesterday … we have been unable to contact them to see who or what it was … or if they even made it."

"The kunatas," Rentola told him. "I thought that we were almost done with them … but their stubbornness is almost to be admired."

"Admire?" One of the other STG members could not believe what he had heard. He looked at Wrex as he added, "There is nothing to admire about the kunatas … I would rather want to know what it would take to get rid of them? All of them."

"Kunatas?" Shepard asked, never having heard that word. "What are those?"

"Krogans," Kirrahe answered after a brief moment of awkward silence.

"I see," Shepard frowned as she looked over at Wrex. He was standing silent, his eyes narrowed and his stance aggressive … Shepard knew that this day was not going to be easy. "Why are their krogans on Virmire?"

"First tell me why you are on Virmire?" Kirrahe asked instead.

"Fair enough," Shepard said. "Councilor Valern requested that we respond to your message ... He said that you were investigating the rogue SpecTRe Saren Arterius and since I am trying to locate and stop him ... well, here we are."

"What?" Kirrahe and his men looked at one another. "You're all they sent? I told the Council to send a fleet!"

"Sweet mother of …" Shepard looked over at Kaidan, shaking her head before she walked away. "I'm really just too tired for this shit."

"They couldn't understand your transmission," Kaidan said, worried about Shepard but trying to keep a friendly atmosphere with the STG, "… so he sent the Commander to investigate."

"That is a repetition of our task," Kirrahe said, watching Shepard and the krogan walk to a clearing that overlooked the west side of the island. "I lost half my men investigating this place."

"I'm thinking that the word kunata does not mean something positive," Shepard said to Wrex as they looked out at the sea. "I'm sorry that you had to put up with that crap."

"With their smell they have no room to talk," Wrex growled, looking back at the camp.

"They smell like wet chickens with moss rubbed on them," Shepard crinkled her nose. "Odd."

"Stench," Wrex said, standing next to her. "They smell worse than even you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Shepard smiled up at him as she wondered if there were showers in the camp.

"Do as you like," Wrex answered, wanting nothing more than to ring the necks of all the salarians in the camp. "The sooner we can leave this company …"

"Shepard!" Kaidan yelled, waving her back over to him and Captain Kirrahe.

"What now?" Shepard frowned, "Stay here, kuntana."

"Kunata," Wrex corrected her. "Be careful … they hide what they are thinking and will strike before you even know they are at odds with you."

* * *

><p>Charlie Rich's <em>A Sunday Kind of Woman <em>was softly playing in the background as Pressly finished the letter to his wife. He never knew how he had gotten so lucky to have a woman like Esther love him back. As he looked at her image on his desk he couldn't believe how much he missed her. His emotions were getting stronger and he was thinking of her even more than usual. True it had been almost two months since he had seen her on the Arc … but she was on his mind … a lot. _Was it old age? _He wondered as he shut down his netpad. Just as soon as this threat to the galaxy was over he would retire. That was the promise that he had made to himself. _Soon_, he told himself as he stood up and stretched his old bones. It had to be soon.

"Captain?" Flight Officer Felawa called over the comm., "we have an incoming call for Commander Shepard. Signature is unknown."

Pressly groaned, praying that it was not the Council, "Put it through to the conference room."

"Yes, sir," Felawa was heard to answer as Pressly put on his shirt and looked back at his wife.

_Soon,_ Pressly repeated and just as he was about to exit his cabin … he stopped and requested Adams to meet him in the conference room. He needed a witness to the call and, more importantly, he needed support. His stomach had tightened at the thought of it being the Council again … _Just not them_, he prayed as he moved up the stairs. _Just not the Council_.

"Is it the Council?" Adams asked as he entered the room.

"I hope not," Pressly answered as he took a deep breath and answered the call.

"Navigator Pressly?" Dr. Liara T'Soni was heard to say as her image appeared.

"Dr. T'Soni," Pressly greeted, happy to see that it was not the Council.

"Please forgive me for disturbing you," Liara said, hiding her disappointment that it was not Shepard answering.

"No disturbing," Pressly told her and gave a little fib to make her feel better ... "I was just writing reports … so you actually saved me. How can we help you?"

"I was hoping to speak with the Commander," Liara said as Adams moved closer to Pressly.

"The Commander is currently on an away mission," Adams said. "How have you been, Dr. T'Soni?"

"Adams," Liara smiled. "I have been well … and you?"

"Missing your company," Adams smiled back. "… just like everyone else on the Normandy."

"I am sure that no one misses me," Liara said, but hoping that at least one person missed her.

"What?" Adams said. "Why just the other day, Commander Shepard asked old Henry to make his famous T'Soni cookies."

"Did she?" Liara's smile widened. "The chocolate cookies?"

"Yep," He loved it when the asari smiled. "You have really left your mark on the Normandy."

"Is there a message that you want us to deliver?" Pressly asked, needing to get the conversation back on track and hoping that she had some good news.

"Yes," Liara became serious. "A prothean beacon has been located here on Aethoyner … I think that it could hold the answers that the Commander is looking for."

"Another beacon?" This was more than Pressly could have hoped. "Has anyone been exposed to it? I mean … like the Commander was?"

"No," Liara answered. "The beacons that have been located do not normally transmit into a person … the fact that it did on Eden Prime suggests that Saren had the cipher already."

"I don't understand," Pressly looked at Adams who also looked lost.

"The beacons were designed for protheans," Liara said, trying to simplify her response as she went along. "The cipher must have made the beacon sense the prothean imprint and like a key … opened the door. If Shepard were to come here … I believe that the beacon would respond to her as it did to Saren."

"But I thought that beacons were studied in the past," Pressly was now even more confused. "… studied without this Cipher. How were the scientists going to research the Eden Prime beacon on the Citadel?"

"There are other ways to cull the information," Liara answered. "But it can take centuries … and then it comes in bits … fragments … making it confusing. This confusion is only amplified since it's non-linear in extraction. There is also the fact that it could contain languages that we have not yet seen … or translated … making the messages … the data even more challenging to understand … so many variables really. Shepard with the Cipher could trip the beacon and receive the entire message … the way it was intended."

"Makes sense," Adams said, looking at Pressly. "Shepard will want to know this right away, Charlie."

Pressly nodded with a frown on his face. He remembered the Commander being carried on to the Normandy after being exposed to the beacon on Eden Prime and it worried him … but he also knew that Adams and Dr. T'Soni were right. "I'll send a message."

"Do you have anything else you want us to forward?" Adams asked, just as Pressly was about to sign off.

"Just my location," Liara answered. She wanted to have the humans tell Shepard that she had thought of her and often … but she smiled instead and just as they were about to disconnect she added, "Be careful … all of you."

"You too," Adams answered, glad that the asari seemed well after the loss of her mother.

"She looks well," Pressly said as they headed for the door. "Poor kid."

"Kid?" Adams gave a laugh. "Charlie, she is older than both of us … and almost older than both of our ages combined."

"It's hard to believe when you look at her," Pressly said as he shook his head. "She looks like she hasn't even reached twenty-five … amazing."

"Yes it is," Adams said just before they parted ways.

* * *

><p>This was almost too good to be true. Saren. Captain Kirrahe had informed Shepard and her team that this island appeared to be where Saren's base of operations was. That based on their observations, he had taken over the Eldfell-Ashland Energy plant … but that wasn't all. He had an army of krogan at his disposal on the island and they were well trained.<p>

"What about geth?" Shepard asked as they looked at the holo of the island's layout above Kirrahe's table in his tent. "How many are here?"

"Geth?" Rentola shook his head, "None that we have seen … just kunatas."

Shepard pushed away the map of the island and pulled up the energy plant blueprints, "What is he doing here then?"

"He's using the facility to breed," Kirrahe answered, putting a peppermint stick in his mouth.

"Breed what?" Shepard asked, trying to determine where Saren's office would be in the hydroelectricity plant.

"Krogans," Rentola answered, "That is how he is building his army."

"How is that possible?" Lt. Girard asked, moving closer to the table.

"Apparently," Kirrahe answered, "Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage."

"Merde!" Girard muttered, just as Wrex entered the tent.

"First the geth," Shepard clenched her jaw. "Dammit! A krogan army … that could make him unstoppable."

"Exactly my thoughts," Kirrahe said, looking at Wrex. "That is why we must ensure that this facility is destroyed … along with its secrets."

"Destroyed?" Wrex moved farther into the tent. "I don't think so ... My people are dying and this cure can save them."

Rentola and two guards raised their weapons towards Wrex as Kirahhe looked at Shepard, "If that cure leaves this planet, the krogan will become unstoppable ... and we can't stand by and watch them make the same mistake again."

Wrex felt his anger build as he moved towards the salarian and growled, "We are not a mistake."

"Wrex!" Shepard quickly moved around the table and stepped between Kirrahe and the krogan. "Outside!"

"Not before I sample his heart," Wrex shifted closer to Kirrahe as Shepard put her back against the krogan's chest and looked at the guns drawn on him.

"I said outside!" she ordered as she turned around and pushed him out of the tent. Okay, she knew that she wasn't really forcing him out … that he was just letting her think that. But once he was gone the tension seemed to ease. As she walked back to the table she motioned for Kaidan to follow Wrex.

"Is he going to be a problem?" Kirrahe asked as he turned the map around. "We already have enough angry krogan to deal with."

"Don't worry about him," Shepard said, feeling the sweat run down her face.

"I do worry," he answered. "That's why I'm still alive."

Shepard gave a small laugh, "You and me both … I'll talk to him."

"It should be night soon," Kirrahe said, offering her a peppermint stick. "It might be safer if you had the ku- … the krogan sleep outside of the camp. He makes my men nervous and I wouldn't want us to have a … misunderstanding."

As Shepard stood just outside of Kirrahe's tent, she looked up in the sky and took a deep breath. It had been a long day chopping through the jungle only to end it like this … stuck in a salarian camp with an angry krogan. "I need a drink," Shepard told herself as she headed towards Kaidan and Girard.

"Wrex looks pretty upset," Kaidan said to her as she approached.

"Where is he?" Shepard asked, checking her firearm.

"He went off that way," Girard answered as he pointed into the jungle.

"Great," Shepard shook her head. "Get the boys settled in … then contact the team back on the beach and see if there has been any more visitors. A part of me wants to tell them to return to the Normandy. This is going to be another long night."

"You aren't going after him alone?" Kaidan asked, not wanting her to go off without any backup.

"I'll be fine," Shepard said, but a part of her was worried. "Stay here and look after the others."

"But Shepard," Kaidan started to argue.

"Motherfu-!" Shepard's eyes turned dark. "I am tired of everyone not following my orders … you will stay here, Lt. If I see you following me … I swear you will feel my boot up your ass. Both of you! You got that?"

"Yes, ma'am," both Kaidan and Girard responded.

* * *

><p>Shepard had been gone just over a half hour when the second team stumbled into the STG camp. They had walked all the previous night, stopping just a few hours to sleep, and following a more obvious trail that Shepard's team had made over the STG's … they moved much quicker. "What are you saying?" Girard had asked when Satake had shared how easy they were to follow.<p>

"That you aren't as sneaky as those ET looking guys," Satake grinned and then he, with the help of Tali, updated Kaidan and Girard even more on what had happened back on the beach. After hearing again about the deaths of Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven, Kaidan had hugged Chakwas and told her how sorry he was for her loss.

"Jai was only on the Normandy because I talked him into returning," Chakwas confided to him as she hugged him tighter. "His death is my fault."

"You know that is not true," Kaidan told her as he pulled away and looked at her. "How many times have we told Shepard to not think that way … You don't get a pass on it either. Those deaths … all of our losses are on Saren's head."

"I know," Chakwas gave a tired smile and looked around, "Where is the Commander?"

"She has gone after Wrex," Kaidan answered, putting his arm around her.

"What happened?" Ashley asked, taking off her jacket.

After Kaidan and Girard told the two women about the exchange in the tent, Ashley grabbed her shotgun and jacket, "And you let her go off alone to face an angry krogan?"

"She threatened to … kick my ass," Kaidan answered.

"What?" Ashley shook her head, "He looks like he is going to blow a gasket and you don't stop her? You let her go and face him alone? Without backup?"

* * *

><p>Wrex had headed in the direction of the plant and coming up on a river had stopped at the bank. The current was strong here and he looked farther up the way where larger rocks made a type of walkway across. He was about to head that way when Shepard appeared in the clearing.<p>

"This isn't right, Shepard," He told her as she moved closer to him. "If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

"Saren's not just going to hand over the cure," Shepard said, knowing that even if he did … Shepard would do just that … destroy it.

"Shepard," Wrex looked at his pup and knew that she didn't understand. She had not seen the krogan females after their multitude of miscarriages … the look they had after holding yet another stillborn. His very own sister had taken her life after another failed pregnancy. He had loved her and her death had left a deep scar on him. That was when he had tried to change his people … but his father had other plans. It was only after his sister's death that he knew his kind would not disappear because of the genophage. They would continue on … but the soul of his people … the spirit that mothers had … was all but gone and without it … it would not matter if they lived or died. That sorrow was changing his people … they were lost. His own try at children had resulted in blood and death and sorrow. No. Shepard could not understand how important the cure was to him and his people.

"Wrex," Shepard stopped just six feet from him in the sand. "If Saren is breeding an army … we have to stop him."

"Hmph," Wrex did not want to hurt Shepard but … "so you are siding with the salarians?"

"No," Shepard said, careful to not get any closer. "This isn't about them … or us … it's about stopping Saren. He's the enemy, Wrex."

"Really?" Wrex brought his shotgun up to Shepard's knees. "It seems that Saren has created a cure for my people ... while you and those talJoks want to destroy it."

"You know it's not that simple," Shepard told him as the shotgun was raised a little higher. "Wrex, I'm your friend … I'm not the enemy. You must know that."

"I'm not so sure anymore," Wrex said. "I mean, help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand."

"Please Wrex," Shepard put her hand on her pistol, "This is not a cure … it's a weapon. Don't you see?"

"Don't you see?" Wrex took a step closer as he aimed the weapon at Shepard's face. She had done more for him than anyone and he cared about her as if she was his own … but in this moment he was quickly reminded that she wasn't. Not really. As he looked at her, he realized that he could not put her ahead of his own people … against the needs of his own people. "This is the fate of my entire people … Where do you stand, Shepard?"

"Dammit!" Shepard pulled up her pistol. "Wrex, these krogan are not your people ... They're just slaves of Saren's. Weapons. Is that what you want for them?"

Wrex looked at her and knew that she could never understand. He also knew that she would not just let him walk away … "So that's it. All this time, and this is where it ends?"

"Please!" Shepard began to lower her weapon. "I need you."

"You need me to be your weapon," Wrex said, his eyes growing colder. "Are you any different than Saren, SpecTRe? You have been using me as he would use me."

"That's not true!" Shepard shouted back in anger. "You must know that!"

"No?" Wrex almost laughed, even though he knew that what he was saying was not true. That she had loved him and he had loved her … still loved her. But it wasn't enough. "Then you would see what this means to the krogan … and you would understand why this base can't be destroyed. I let you foolishly release the rachni … but I won't allow this!"

Before either could make another move, Shepard heard a shot ring out and Wrex stumbled backwards. Shepard turned in the direction of where it had come from and there stood Ashley.

"No!" Shepard shouted as she moved into Ashley's line of fire just as she heard Wrex roar in pain and then rush into the river. "Wrex!" Shepard shouted as he was quickly pushed downstream and out of their sight.

"Shepard!" Ashley cried out as Shepard raced after him.

The current caught her and had it not been for Ashley racing after her and pulling her out … she might have not made it back to shore. Now, drenched, exhausted, angry and hurt, she looked over at her Gunnery Chief, "Why the hell did you do that? I was still talking to him."

"I'm sorry," Ashley said as she moved away from Shepard, "I … I couldn't take the risk that he might injure you ... Or worse."

"That wasn't your call!" Shepard shouted, wanting to beat the shit out of her as she looked back at the raging river. "If you ever do that again … I will … I will send you packing! Understood?"

"Understood," Ashley said but not meaning it. She knew that she would do it again if it meant protecting the Commander.

Shepard looked at the spot where Wrex had been standing and saw the blood ... He had been shot and she did not know how badly. She hoped that it was nothing for the krogan and that he would survive but then what? He had chosen sides and it wasn't her side. He had chosen Saren … _Why, Wrex?_ She wanted to scream at him. _Why would you choose him? _She pulled out her flask and dropping down into the sand next to the blood, opened the container and took a swallow as she felt burning tears escape. _Why did you betray me?_

* * *

><p>It was nightfall before Shepard and Ashley made it back into camp and when Kaidan saw no Wrex he pulled Ashley aside. Once she had told him about the conflict he had shook his head, "What the … do you think you killed him, Chief?<p>

"I hope so," She answered, taking a seat around the fire. "He was aiming his weapon at the Commander … No one does that to her … no one."

"I knew that she shouldn't have trusted that krogan," Garrus said, "I have never known a krogan to think reasonably."

"Yeah," Kaidan handed Ashley a dinner plate, "I suppose."

Shepard, her own dinner in hand, sat down next to Chakwas and looked at Ashley. She was no longer mad at her and understood that she was only trying to protect her. But now her Beast was somewhere … bleeding and possibly dying. Shepard looked at the fire and frowned. She told herself that it would take more than a shotgun to take him down and closed her eyes as she prayed for him. Yes, he had betrayed her but she still loved him. She didn't understand why he had done it but … _God, please help me understand._

Kaidan got up and sat on the other side of Shepard, "Commander, are you … all right?"

"No," Shepard answered, "… no, I'm not, Kaidan. I can't believe he'd turn on me. I don't understand why … but he had to have a good reason. He had to."

"There was no good reason for him to turn against you and follow Saren," Kaidan said, as Chakwas patted her knee.

"Commander," Chakwas added, "As I was told earlier about the loss of my personnel … it applies to you as well. This is not your fault."

"No?" Shepard gave a small bitter laugh. "I failed at reasoning with him, Kaidan. I couldn't make him see what Saren was doing … I couldn't understand where his mind was … and, God knows, he wasn't going to let us take out the base because of a damn cure. For all I know he is already with Saren telling him we are here."

"Damn," Kaidan looked at Shepard's troubled profile. "I knew he was angry when he left camp ... I just didn't think he'd turn against us."

Shepard put her plate down as she stood up and excused herself. All she wanted was to be left alone and finish her flask. As she walked to the place she had earlier stood with Wrex she looked up at the night sky. It wasn't thirty pieces of silver that had turned her rock from her … it was a promise of a cure. As tears threatened to appear, Shepard looked out in the direction he was probably in and quietly prayed … "Wherever Wrex is, Father, please take care of him … please keep him safe."


	88. Balloon, Bomb & Boats

Shepard found herself back on Mindoir and standing on the dock in her backyard. Depeche Mode was naked and standing on the water as they sang _Sacred _as the music seemed to float up from the river. She was confused and as she looked up at the sky she knew that it was midday and by the heat, summertime. As she turned to look back at the land, she heard a splash and looked over and saw a shuima pass between her and the band, just as teenage Tyler and Ricky raced by her and jumped into the river yelling "You never cared, Shepard!"

"What the …" Shepard felt confused as she looked back at the house and saw her parents and a few neighbors around the bar-b-que chatting as Tait headed towards her smiling. Depeche Mode now walking behind him ... still naked and still singing. Shepard tried to ignore them as she looked at him. He looked so young and as he stopped in front of her, that youth made her feel that much older. He swayed to the music as he bent playfully to kiss her but she stopped him.

"What's wrong?" He asked as she pulled away and looked at her own reflection in the water.

"You're just a boy," She answered, embarrassed as she turned away from her reflection and looked at him. "Kissing you would be so … wrong."

"I'm eighteen, Shepard," He grinned as Dave Gahan began to sing _Nothing_.

"Could you guys go away?" Shepard asked the four naked men.

"Who?" Tait asked Shepard.

"You don't see them?" Shepard pointed at the group.

"Is this a joke?" Tait grinned, taking off his shirt and trying to kiss her again.

"Tait!" She pushed him away. "No ... your just a baby."

"Shepard?" Liara's voice could be heard at the front of the dock.

"Liara?" Shepard stepped in front of Tait and did not understand why the asari was there.

"Who is that?" Liara asked, trying to see Tait as Shepard continued to block her view and Depeche Mode passed by as they now stood behind Liara.

"No one," Shepard answered right before she turned around and pushed him in the water.

"Shepard!" Tait cried out as he fell back first into the river.

"You guys are next," Shepard threatened Depeche Mode, "If you don't stop singing ... or put clothes on."

"Are you okay?" Liara asked, appearing to be worried by Shepard's actions.

"You can't be here," Shepard told Liara, grabbing her and pulling her away from the dock and the house.

"Why not?" Liara asked, Depeche Mode turning blue as they started to sing _Pleasure Little Treasure_.

"Seriously?" Shepard said seeing the blue skin and then turned back to Liara. The thought of her parents seeing the asari, never mind the four blue naked men, was causing her to panic. If they saw her they would know that she had let the asari touch her. Her mother would know and … and … "You have to go!"

"Why haven't you written?" Liara pulled away from Shepard.

"Me?" Shepard, panic rising as she looked at her mother off in the distance, "You didn't write either ... but I didn't hold that against you. Did I? So we're good ... now go!"

"Shepard!" Wrex yelled at her from across the river.

Shepard turned to face him and found that she was now back on Virmire and the water was discolored by the blood of her crew. She saw the bodies of Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven drift by as Wrex disappeared into the jungle. Shepard began to wade into the water as she tried to follow him but she was being stopped by more bodies racing towards her … They were the bodies of soldiers, civilians and aliens that had died from Mindoir to Virmire. She tried pushing through to the other side but there were just too many. She was being pulled under, their dead eyes accusing her of letting them die, and as she tried to scream … the water flooded her throat.

"You let us down," Ricky said, standing on the bank with Wrex. "It's always been about you, Sheppy."

Shepard tried to tell him she was sorry and that she had looked for him but the body of Mr. Rurik pushed her back under the water. She began to struggle against him, against the blackness and just as she felt herself choking against the river ... "Shepard?" Dr. Chakwas was gently shaking her.

"What's up, doc?" Shepard tried to joke as sweat ran down her face.

""You were calling for Dr. T'Soni," Chakwas told her as she sat next to her.

Shepard had nodded off by the fire just an hour earlier and as she tried to get rid of the pins and needles in her left arm asked, "What was I saying?"

"Just calling for Liara," Chakwas answered. "Well, that and ..."

Shepard felt her stomach tighten, hoping that she had not said anything inappropriate, "... and?"

"You told some naked men to get off your dock," Chakwas answered, without a hint of humor.

Shepard looked confused as parts of the dream were already fading from her ... Depeche Mode being one of those things. "You got me," Shepard shrugged. "I don't normally dream ... or remember them. This one was weird ... what I can remember."

"I think that after this mission we will need a break," Chakwas said, thinking of her loss.

"Where are the others?" Shepard asked, seeing only salarians moving around the base. Considering these creatures only required an hour of sleep in a twenty-two hour cycle it did not surprise her.

"I told them to bunk down," Chakwas answered. "They, unlike you, listen to me ... even Garrus and Tali."

"Damn teacher's pets," Shepard couldn't help but tease which made them both laugh.

"Commander Shepard?" A salarian called out as he hobbled over to her. He had been hurt in the krogan attack back on the beach but he was not letting that slow him down."The Captain was hoping you would wake up soon. He wants to speak to you."

"Does that mean he has come up with a plan?" Shepard asked, dropping the blanket around her as she stood up and looked towards his tent.

"I believe so," the salarian answered as they walked over to the tent where he pulled back the flap for her to enter.

As Shepard entered Captain Kirrahe's tent she noticed some type of round device on the table. Two salarians were fiddling with it as Kirrahe was putting a kettle on a makeshift stove … But before Shepard spoke she heard Hues Corporation's _Rock the Boat_ playing in a low volume and realized that all three salarians were shaking their legs to the beat. In fact, they were all humming quietly along as well. "Am I still dreaming?" Shepard wondered out loud as she pinched her arm. "Ouch!" _Nope. Not dreaming_.

"SpecTRe," Kirrahe motioned her over as he turned the music down even more, causing the other two to grouse at him.

"Captain," Shepard nodded, wishing that she was in bed asleep ... but without dreams.

"I am sorry about the krogan," He said as he pulled a seat out for her. "The assault on Saren's base will be difficult enough as it is ... better to know where he stood before the assault."

"He's just confused," Shepard said, rubbing her eye as she sat down and then yawned.

"You should know that I sent two trackers after him," Kirrahe said. "We cannot let him warn Saren."

"I understand," Shepard said, her throat tightening. She wanted to grab her weapon and team and race after them … protect him. But stopping Saren was the mission, not saving Wrex. She could only hope that he outmaneuvered the STG after him.

"I hope you do," He said, rising up and taking the whistling kettle off the fire and making them tea. "Do you like sitruuna?"

"Yes, thank you," Shepard stood up and went over to the table. "What is this thing?"

"Our solution," Kirrahe answered, handing her a cup of tea. "We stripped our ship's drive system and converted it into a twenty-kiloton ordnance. Crude, but effective."

"You are going to bomb the place?" Shepard asked, looking at the device but not really understanding it.

"With your help," Kirrahe answered, taking a sip of his tea.

"What can I do to help?" Shepard asked, "I'm not a bomb expert … trust me."

"But your quarian is," Kirrahe answered. "We need her assistance in finishing the assembly at the point of detonation."

"Joe?" Shepard shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't make a habit of placing civilians under someone else's command ... and Mechanic Joe is just a kid."

"I understand," Kirrahe said, as the other two salarians quickly exited the tent, "but this mission is too important for personal preferences to get in the way. I have something to show you … follow me."

As Kirrahe exited the tent, Shepard looked at the bomb as she quickly finished her tea. Patrice Rushen's _Forget Me Nots _was playing as Shepard said to the salarian's solution on her way out, "Let's hope you do your job."

* * *

><p>"A balloon?" Shepard looked at the oversized basket and the white envelope lying on the ground.<p>

"It can hold the bomb and three personnel," Rentola told her as they stood around the basket.

"Why do you have a balloon?" Shepard asked, half expecting the Wizard of Oz to appear.

"We use balloons to monitor the landscape as needed," Kirrahe explained.

"A balloon?" Shepard raised a brow at him. "No one sees a big ball floating in the sky?"

"Oh," Kirrahe went to the basket and after what appeared to be a hand wave, the basket and the deflated envelope seemed to disappear.

Shepard walked over to where the basket had been and touched it, "Holy Christmas! Now that is cool!"

"Yes," Kirrahe almost seemed to grin.

"So the balloon would take it where?" Shepard asked, starting to believe in the tricky little STG Captain.

"It would need to take it to the center of the facility," Rentola answered. "Once there, it would need to be placed next to the geothermal taps and the construction completed."

Shepard thought of Tali and needed to know the risk, "How reliable is this? I mean, is there a chance that it may go off too soon … or not at all?"

"Its reliability depends on the person arming it," Kirrahe answered her. "That is why the quarian is the better choice … but no matter who sets it, it will do the job. The drive system is highly impervious to damage from external sources."

"Once it has been armed," Rentola added, "… very little can stop it. The key is getting it into place and armed before the krogans stop us."

"I'll need to ask her," Shepard said, touching the invisible basket again.

"Of course," Kirrahe said, making the balloon and basket visible again.

"But before we blow that place," Shepard said, looking at Kirrahe, "I need to get inside."

"You cannot upload the cure," Kirrahe told her, touching his weapon.

"Not the cure," Shepard told him. "I have to see what Saren's plans are … what these reapers are and where a conduit is. That information may be on the system inside there."

"I see," Kirrahe said, but Shepard sensed that he was not fully convinved.

"Look," Shepard pushed. "I'm a SpecTRe … the last thing that I or the Council or the STG wants is to see the krogan rise again. I've no desire to save a cure for the genophage. I need to see if Saren has records of what his real plans are … this cure is just a means to an end. Nothing more."

Kirrahe looked at Shepard and nodded, "We have paddle rafts that we can have waiting for you … but once that bomb is set you will have only a quarter of an hour to get out of there. The bomb is designed to destroy the plant and another mile just outside."

"Rafts?" Shepard gave a sigh. "How many people will they hold?"

"Seven," Rentolla answered. "The push away from the plant will be a struggle, but once you are past the Vender rock … the river will do all the work. Just hang on … it can be pretty treacherous."

"How fortified is that facility?" Shepard asked, hatching her own side mission.

"It's a stronghold," Rentolla answered. "We'll need to infiltrate the base and disable the AA guns, just as a precaution. We don't want anything to stop the airship from landing and delivering the nuke."

"How many krogans do you think are inside there?" Shepard asked as they walked back to Kirrahe's tent.

"Too many," Kirrahe answered. "We don't have the numbers to meet them head on ... Us or you."

"So while I'm sneaking in the back door," Shepard said, stopping just outside his tent, "and the balloon is landing dead center … what are your plans?"

"I'm going to divide my men into three teams," he answered, pulling back the flap and letting her enter first, "One team will have the rafts ready for our escape … a second team will be disabling the AA towers and a third …"

Shepard looked at the salarian and could see that he was somewhere dark, "Captain?"

"Part of my team went missing," Kirrahe looked over at her. "I would like to find them … if they are still alive."

"I like rescue missions," Shepard smiled at him. "Once I have what I need … I'll join in on that one if there is time."

"Thank you, SpecTRe," Kirrahe sat down, "I don't expect many of us will make it out alive but as long as my men are out there, I need to try."

"Hmm," Shepard smiled. "No man left behind, Captain … not if we can help it."

"Agreed," Kirrahe said as KC & the Sunshine Band told them to _Give It Up_.

* * *

><p>"In that?" Satake almost cried as Shepard showed Tali what she would be riding in.<p>

"These salarians are willing to die to stop Saren," Tali reminded Satake and then looked at Shepard, "… and so am I."

"Well," Shepard said, "let's hope that it doesn't come to that."

"But in that?" Satake looked at Tali, worried. "This doesn't look safe … and you will be in it with a salarian-rigged bomb! A nuke!"

"You both will be," Shepard told him. "You are going to make sure that Joe and the pilot are safe."

Satake looked at Shepard and then at Tali and before he could say anything, Tali told him, "Allie, the upcoming battle frightens me too … but I know Saren must be stopped."

Satake wasn't afraid to go in battle but he did not want Tali in it, "But you are a civilian!"

"Pvt. Satake," Kaidan was about to dress him down but Shepard held up her hand.

"Satake," She placed her hand on his shoulder as she looked up into his eyes, "I need everyone to be where they are at their most valuable … Joe is the only person that Captain Kirrahe and I believe can set that nuke off without accidently taking all of us with it. Just as I believe that you being with her will ensure that she will make it out alive."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, looking over at Tali. "Nothing will happen to her … or the froggie pilot."

"I will fight with fire for you, Commander," Tali promised as Shepard looked at her own reflection in the Quarian's mask. She really wished that she could see Tali's face instead of her own but after half a year ... she was almost use to it. Almost.

* * *

><p>"Nice," Ashley said, as she, Lt. Girard and Kaidan entered Kirrahe's tent and saw the bomb for the first time. "Set off that nuke and Saren can kiss his turian ass goodbye."<p>

Shepard looked up as Kirrahe pulled up another map, "Come in you three."

"Commander?" Kaidan could see that Shepard was worried.

"The balloon will be ready to depart first thing in the morning," Kirrahe was telling Shepard. "It will take them approximately two hours to land … so if you want to infiltrate the facility then I would suggest leaving within the hour. By the time you will have arrived at the facility, it will be dark. I would suggest coming in from the sea … trying to enter at the gate would be suicidal with just three people."

"You don't happen to have wet suits?" Shepard asked, pulling up a map of the surrounding area.

"SpecTRe," Kirrahe went to a trunk. "STG is prepared for everything."

"Except krogan attacks," Girard whispered to Ashley.

"You're like Boy Scouts," Shepard joked as she looked over at Kaidan, "Tell Garrus to be ready to leave within the hour … as well as you."

"What about us?" Ashley asked, pointing at herself and Girard. "These salarians won't be able to do this on their own."

"We're tougher than we look," Rentola said, entering in with the salarian pilot.

"But it's true," Kirrahe looked at Ashley and then at Shepard. "I will need one of your men to lead the Aegohr team. I will be leading the Mannovai team and Rentola the Jaeto."

"What will the Aegohr team be doing?" Shepard asked.

Kirrahe pulled up the facility's layout, "They will take out the AA towers as my team locates our men and Rentola's team ensures that the rafts are safe and secure."

Kaidan, who was about to exit the tent stopped, "We'll need someone who knows Alliance communication protocols as well as disabling the towers."

"He's right, Commander," Girard looked at the bomb. "We need the best leading that team ... I'll volunteer."

"You?" Kaidan shook his head, "I volunteer, Commander."

"Not so fast, LTs," Ashley moved closer to Shepard. "I went through the Marine's sapper course and spent another shitty six months in a flak tower … I'll go with the salarians."

Kaidan shook his head, "With all due respect, Gunnery Chief, it's not your place to decide."

"Why is it that whenever someone says _with all due respect_ they really mean _kiss my ass_?" Ashley asked, as Girard laughed.

"Okay, okay," Shepard frowned. "Kaidan … you are going with me. Williams, you'll lead the Aeg… Oeg … the AA tower team. But no heroics. Understood?"

"Aye, aye, Commander," Ashley said, smiling at Kaidan and Girard.

"What about me?" Girard did not want to be left behind.

"You can assist with the missing salarians," Shepard answered, looking at Kirrahe. "You don't mind having a few of my Alliance personnel help you on your rescue mission … do you?"

"It would be greatly appreciated," Kirrahe answered. "I'll have the ordnance loaded onto the airship and see that the quarian briefs both your soldier and the pilot on its detonation sequencing. Just in case she does not survive long enough to do her part."

"She will," Shepard smiled, "It would take more than a krogan army to take her … or Pvt. Satake down."

"Let us hope that your confidence is not misplaced," Kirrahe said. "My team will try to locate my men as long as possible … but once the bomb is in place, we will fall back to the rafts and hopefully escape the blast radius. If we move quickly, we should be able to escape with acceptable casualties. If not, then our memories will live on as martyrs to a greater cause."

"This is not a suicide mission," Shepard frowned. "I would not participate in one … Girard, Alenko and Williams, you're excused."

Once her personnel were gone, Kirrahe looked at Shepard, "Let us be honest, SpecTRe. There is a chance none of us will survive this assault ... Even your team. But we will do what is necessary."

"As will my team," Shepard told him. "Don't misunderstand, we are willing to die if need be to see that others are safe ... but we like to think we can beat it all the way to the end. Humans are funny that way."

"I see," Kirrahe nodded. "We salarians feel the same but it also must feel personal. Aegohr, Mannovai, and Jaeto were the initial settlements on our first three colony worlds. They are at the heart of salarian territory to this day. These names will remind my men what they are fighting for ... They must have a personal stake in the fight if we are to have any chance of success."

"Let us hope that we have limited losses," Shepard said, as she headed towards the exit.

* * *

><p>Shepard, Garrus and Kaidan, packed and ready to head out, were saying their goodbyes. Shepard had told Dr. Chakwas to wait at base camp but she knew that it was useless. She had heard the doctor making plans to join the Jaeto team and wait at the rafts. After losing part of her staff, Shepard realized that this was probably what Chakwas needed … a chance to even the score even if it was just wrapping up the injured on a battlefield.<p>

"Well, this is it," Ashley said to Kaidan. "Don't do anything stupid while we are apart, LT." And seeing Shepard approach them added, "You too, Commander."

"We'll be fine," Kaidan tried to reassure her. "You'll see."

Ashley gave a small nod, "Yeah, I just … good luck."

"Hey," Shepard rubbed Ashley's back and then put her arm around her shoulder, "Everything is going to be fine … sun, sand, sex."

"I'll pass on the sex," Ashley said with a nervous laugh. "Salarians are not my cup of tea."

"You have a few of the Alpha team," Kaidan teased.

"Yeah," Ashley rolled her eyes and then looked at Shepard. "It's weird ... Joining another team. I've gotten so use to working with you … knowing that you have my back."

"I still have your back," Shepard smiled.

"Don't worry," Kaidan told her. "We'll see you on the other side ... unless Wrex finds you first."

"That's not funny," Shepard said as she fought from laughing.

"Thanks, LT," Ashley frowned and then took Shepard by the hand, "I, ah … it's been an honor serving with you, Commander."

"Ash," Shepard squeezed her hand, "Nothing bad is going to happen … Don't worry. Just do your job and we will all come out of this in one piece. Remember, you mess with one Marine, you mess with them all."

"Yes, Ma'am," Ashley smiled as she saluted Shepard.

Off in the distance, Kirrahe was meeting with his men in preparation of what each of them would be required to do and the words _hold the line_ seem to do the trick.

"You all know the mission and what is at stake. I have come to trust each of you with my life, but I have also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns. We are trained for espionage. We would be legend, but the records are sealed. Glory in battle is not our way. Think of our heroes: the Silent Step, who defeated a nation with a single shot. Or the Ever Alert, who kept armies at bay with hidden facts. These giants do not seem to give us solace here, but they are not all that we are. Before the network, there was the fleet. Before diplomacy, there were soldiers. Our influence stopped the rachni, but before that, we held the line. Our influence stopped the krogan, but before that, we held the line! Our influence will stop Saren! In the battle today, we will hold the line!"

"Commander," Girard looked over at Shepard, "Are you going to say a few words of inspiration to us before you leave?"

"A speech?" Shepard looked at her men and women. "Well, there was an Air Force SSgt named Roger A. Alfano who once wrote that _sweat dries, blood clots, bones heal. Suck it up. Be a Marine._ I think that sums it all up. Don't you?"

"Not a speech maker?" Girard asked as the others laughed.

"Not today," Shepard winked as Kirrahe came over to her.

"Good luck, SpecTRe," Kirrahe said, extending his hand to her. "I hope we will meet again."

"Take care of my people," Shepard told him as they shook hands. "I would like them all returned the way I gave them to you."

"We will try," Kirrahe said. "We will try."

* * *

><p>As Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus began to head down the other side of the island, the Commander laughed, "A balloon, bomb and boats."<p>

"Shepard?" Garrus looked over at her, confused.

"I finally work with the STG and what is their high tech plan?" Shepard smiled at her two companions. "A balloon, home-made bomb and rafts."

"But the balloon is invisible," Kaidan reminded her. "That is pretty impressive."

"True," Shepard smiled at him as she pulled out her machete. "Do you think I could use my SpecTRe status and get us one of those?"

"Can I pilot it?" Garrus asked, as a branch hit him in the face.

"No!" Shepard and Kaidan answered in unison.


	89. One-Shoe & Cloning

Shortly after the trio had left camp, dark clouds appeared and brought with them torrential downpours of rain. This change in weather caused massive delays as they chopped through the jungle, tried to outmaneuver flash floods and eventually wade into the sea that tried to pull them under as they swam against the current towards the back door. By the time they had entered one of the drains, they had depleted their energy, lost two packs, one boot and it was less than two hours before the balloon was scheduled to land.

"You both lost your packs?" Garrus asked, as the two humans were trying to get their breaths back.

"It was that or go under," Kaidan answered as Shepard looked at the turian's bare foot.

"What's your excuse?" Shepard asked, standing up straight as she turned from Garrus' foot and looked towards the inside of the tunnel.

"Well," Garrus looked down and remembered getting stuck in the mud. "It must have come off when … well, I was sinking."

"At least we know why, how and when we lost our packs," Kaidan said, as Shepard then looked at the time.

_Two frickin' hours_, Shepard cursed to herself as they moved deeper into the drain. The team had hoped for at least four hours to find Saren's office on the base. Now they had one shot.

"Be careful," Kaidan told Shepard as she slipped on the mossy sides and he caught her.

"Thanks," Shepard said, looking back at Garrus who was readjusting his helmet. "So are you still feeling like this is Palaven, One-Shoe?"

"I said it reminds me of where I grew up," Garrus answered, ignoring her new nickname for him. "But this does not look like my home."

"No?" Shepard feigned shock. "You mean that you didn't live in a drain?"

"Or a cave," Garrus said, as they moved forward.

"Cave?" Kaidan asked as he looked back at Garrus confused.

"Well," Garrus sounded slightly embarrassed, "Allie says that I'm like a bat man … and asks where my bat cave is."

Both Shepard and Kaidan laughed … "Only Satake," Shepard grinned as they reached an exit.

"You probably also had two shoes back on Palaven," Kaidan could not help but add.

"Normally," Garrus said, sounding even more embarrassed.

"Do you want me to go first?" Kaidan asked, as Shepard put a foot on the bottom rung of the ladder.

Shepard looked up at the storm drain grate as she shook her head no, "But if anything happens to me …"

"Nothing will happen to you," Kaidan cut her off, not wanting to even entertain the image of losing her ... Of seeing her dead. "Nothing, do you hear me?"

"I hear you," Shepard gave a weak smile. She had told both Garrus and Kaidan on the way through the jungle that if she were killed, it was their job to finish the mission … _both here on Virmire and wherever Saren and those reapers lead you_. As her two companions looked at each other, Shepard looked back up to the grate, a feeling of dread in her stomach.

Maybe it was the nightmare that she couldn't quite remember, or maybe the belief that she had used up all of her nine lives … whatever it was, Shepard had the feeling that she was not going to leave this place. In this moment of fear and doubt, Shepard pressed her forehead against one of the rungs as she lowered her head and silently recited; _The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident_.

"Commander?" Garrus did not understand why Shepard was hesitating.

Shepard, her heart at rest, looked over at him and smiled, "Let us shine a light where there once was darkness … shall we?"

* * *

><p>"Mannovai behind the gate," the team heard Captain Kirrahe announce over their earpieces as Shepard was halfway up the sixteen foot high ladder. "Shadow, is your mission completed?"<p>

"That's a negative," Kaidan answered, watching Shepard climb the ladder. "Our schedule is slightly off due to the weather … estimate another hour."

"Team Jaeto is in position for the departure when needed," Rentola, pulling the boats up onto a bank, said. "There is flooding and the river is dangerous … but we have secured the area."

"Aegohr approaching now," Ashley announced. "We will have the three towers off-line within the hour."

"Leave no tracks or broken branches," Kirrahe told all the teams. "The kunatas are not to be disturbed."

"Okay, I have to ask," Kaidan said, as he thought about how they had struggled through the jungle, waded into a stormy sea, and almost drowned just to enter through a back way. "If they had a way to sneak in from the front … why did we do all this?"

"We are not STG," Garrus answered, as if to a child. "They can slip by almost anyone or through anything when they want."

"But Ash isn't STG," Kaidan argued, starting to climb the ladder as Shepard was now over halfway up it.

As Garrus began to answer Kaidan, Shepard finally made it to the top and as she slowly lifted the grate she heard a cranking sound.

"Shhh," she told the two as another clanking sound followed.

"What is it?" Kaidan asked, hoping that the grate wasn't too heavy for Shepard to move.

"I'm not sure," Shepard listened harder as the sound of rushing water followed one more clank.

"Shepard?" Garrus did not like being in the dark.

"Hold your breath!" she yelled to her companions as a flood of water came rushing down at them … pushing them back out into the sea.

* * *

><p>"I bet this would be beautiful in the daytime," Tali told Satake as they moved slowly over the dark jungle.<p>

"Probably," he answered, looking over the side with her. "I did this once in Napa Valley."

"Where is that?" Tali asked, turning to face him.

"On Earth," He answered, before looking at the bomb. "Are you sure that you can set that without blowing us all up?"

"Of course," Tali answered, turning back around to look towards the plant. "Let's just hope that Chief Williams gets those towers shut down."

"Ash?" Satake ran a hand over his buzz cut head as he grinned, "she'll have 'em off … trust me."

"And the Commander?" Tali looked over Satake. "Wrex may be down there."

"Wrex?" Satake had fought back tears when he heard that the krogan had left them. "Ahh, Tali … Wrex would never hurt Shepard. It's Ash that might need saving though. I still can't believe that she shot him … Wrex!"

"He had his gun on the Commander," Tali defended Ashley's action, "what would you have done? Waited till he shot her?"

"What?" Satake could hear the anger in Tali's voice and began to frown. "No. I … I … ahh, Tali. You know that I would protect the Commander."

"So you say," Tali mumbled under her breath. "If he comes after me … who would you pick?"

"Ah, Tali," Satake, not wanting to fight with the quarian, began to hum the tune she had taught him.

As his voice got louder, Tali shoved him playfully as their pilot cleared his throat.

"Oh, sorry," Satake told the pilot. "But my girl …"

"What girl?" Tali asked, moving away from him.

"No," Satake was now wishing that he had been placed on boat duty. "I meant … my friend. You friend, not girl … I mean, my girl."

"Sometimes you humans speak odd," Tali told him, before returning to her balloon ride view of the island.

* * *

><p>"One of three silenced," Ashley communicated to the other teams. "Heading for number two."<p>

"Good job, Aegohr," Shepard responded as the trio finally pulled themselves out of a secondary drain pipe after a fun water ride and swim.

"Where is your pack?" Kaidan asked Garrus as Shepard pulled up her map.

"With the other two," Garrus answered, "Why stand out?"

"I hope you don't expect us to lose a shoe," Shepard teased as Kaidan began to squeeze the sea water out of his handkerchief.

"Wishful thinking?" Garrus asked, glad that his misfortune was adding a little lightness to her mood.

"Huh-huh," Shepard smiled, then she turned her attention back on the mission. "Mannovai … any luck on the MIA?"

"Still searching, Shadow," Kirrahe answered. "It should be daylight soon and Oz should be closing in."

"I can't believe you had him call the balloon team that," Kaidan almost laughed as they moved towards the area that was once the office of the plant manager.

"What?" Shepard grinned. "What else would we call them?"

As the team began to move past the reservoir, Garrus looked at the building that housed the generator, "Why did _Eldfell_**-**_Ashland_ Energy build a plant here?"

"They saw this planet as a perfect place to create a resort," Kaidan answered him. "Unfortunately, the original political power that they had been negotiating with all but disappeared after this was built. The shift in power required more donations and just after they had received money …"

"Another shift of power?" Garrus finished for him.

"The investors realized that they would end up spending most of their money on the ever changing shift of power than the actual resort," Kaidan answered. "And once the resort was built, the profits would also have ended up in the powers that be … so they abandoned both the plans of the resort and this plant."

"It's a shame," Shepard said, looking out at the sea splashing against rocks. "This place is beautiful … if you don't think about the blood-sucking golf balls."

* * *

><p>An hour later, Kirrahe and his team had found what appeared to be a place that once stored supplies but had been converted into some type of holding cells. Inside, he saw a small portion of the 3rd Infiltration Regiment just moving about with empty eyes.<p>

"Lieutenant Ganto Imness," one of his men pointed to the stall on the farthest left side of the room.

"Captain Kirrahe," Imness rushed to the steel door. "You must leave … if they find you … they will … no. no."

"What happened here?" Kirrahe asked, as one of the salarians began to crack the door's security code.

"You must destroy this facility," Imness told him, his mind racing. "And my men … they must not leave this place."

"What has happened to them?" Kirrahe asked, seeing their vacant expressions as they moved about the cells.

"They were altered," Imness answered, trying to keep his own sanity. "… brainwashed."

"For what purpose?" Kirrahe asked, just as the door opened. "They are already breeding krogan ... what more do they need?"

"Not breeding," Imness said, afraid to leave his cell. "Cloning … but that isn't why you must destroy this place."

"Cloning?" Kirrahe thought of all the full grown male krogan and it made sense. "So, there are no breeding grounds? Are there other cloning facilities? Did you overhear …"

"Listen to me," Imness cut him off. "The threat here is not the krogan … it's something much worse. They call it indoctrination. But it's not your normal type of propogandism ... brainwashing … conditioning … no … this is much worse ... and far more horrifying."

"Indoctrination?" Kirrahe looked at the other operatives that had been captured and didn't quite understand what Imness was saying. All STG operatives were trained to withstand techniques designed to aggressively re-educate basic beliefs and values of individuals.

"I watched our operators … good, strong individuals reduced to mindless husks," Imness told him. "Look at them … there isn't anything left."

Kirrahe looked at the others again and shook his head, "And the others?"

"I think the others died during the experiments," Imness answered. "I envy them ... we all did."

"And what are these brainwashing techniques?" Kirrahe asked, as they gave Imness water. "The Corson system? The Malters? The Bak?"

"No," Imness said, after drinking the canteen dry. "There is a piece of metal … it makes your teeth vibrate … the back of your head tingle … I think the turian, Saren, uses it to control his people as well, but I don't think he fully understands it."

"What is this piece of metal?" Kirrahe had never heard of anything manipulating others … asari, yes. Materials, no. "Where did it come from?"

"I don't know," Imness grabbed Kirrahe by the shoulders, "I just saw what it did to the others … turned them into empty husks. I can't end up like that. Please … we have to leave! The whispering can drive you to madness!"

Kirrahe instructed two of his operators to take Imness to the boats and after they were gone he looked at his agents, mindless and walking into walls. He could not leave them there but he also knew that he could not take them with him. So he pulled out a knife, went to each of his operatives and after covering their mouths, stabbed into their neck tissue, and then ripped the knife out through the front of the neck. As each one fell to the ground, the remaining continued to shuffle around … oblivious to what he was doing. As he finished, he looked at his knife … _it was_ _better to die than to live like that._

* * *

><p>Pvt Menos Avot of the 3rd Infiltration Regiment was lying dead at Shepard's feet when she received an update from Kirrahe. They had let out the captive salarians and were attacked as a result … Shepard was just glad that they had silencers on their weapons as the salarians began to scratch and bite them.<p>

"Do we tell him what just happened?" Kaidan asked, looking at his bloody hand with bite marks.

"No," Shepard frowned, looking down at Avot. _The noise just won't go away; whispering is loud_ he had told her before he had attacked her. "We just keep moving. Daylight is almost on us … and our time is almost up."

As the trio moved silently into the next room the sounds of the asari singer Aspasia was singing a song that translated to _Serenity_. Looking around the lab, the song did not match at all. There was blood everywhere, the containment cells and cloning tubes all smashed open and a krogan and asari in lab coats lying dead in the middle of the room.

"What happened here?" Garrus asked, seeing the krogan ripped open and the asari in two pieces. Her body near one of the tubes and her head twenty feet away.

"Kirrahe's team?" Kaidan guessed, bending down next to the krogan.

Shepard followed the destruction until she saw another krogan crumpled against the far wall and breathing hard. "No, no, no," the other two heard her cry out as she raced to the far side of the room.

"Shepard?" Kaidan stood up quickly and followed her.

"Wrex!" Shepard almost cried as she dropped to her knees next to him and checked his wounds.

He growled at her at first … an animal in pain and angry.

"Shhh," she tried to soothe him as she told Kaidan to find a medkit … "Anything to help him."

"Does he know who you are?" Garrus asked, leaning over him.

The injured krogan took a bite at the turian as a warning which caused Garrus to jump away.

"Shepard," Garrus warned. "I don't think he knows us."

"He knows us," Shepard said, looking into the krogan's eyes and unable to leave him. "Wrex … what happened?"

His breathing deepened and he looked up at her, "Pup?"

"Yeah," Shepard carefully placed her hand on his face. "It's me … what happened?"

"There was no cure," he told her as he closed his eyes and his body shook slightly.

"I'm sorry," Shepard told him, feeling sympathetic but also relief that there was no cure. "I really am."

"So it was just more recruiting?" Garrus asked, hoping that this battle had not tripped any alarms.

"Cloning," He answered, just as Kaidan appeared with a medkit from Doctor Droyas' station.

"Cloning?" Shepard looked at the tanks again.

"Why did you destroy the tanks?" Garrus asked, "You wanted a way to increase your numbers."

"Not this way," Wrex glared at the turian. How could he explain that there was a difference between tank bred and krogan bred? That part of what was destroying his people was the fact that most females would never know the feeling of holding their young ... alive. "Cloning adds no value to my people … it is empty to the females."

Shepard wanted to talk to Wrex about their fight but she knew that there was just no time for that. Not at this moment. She had to keep moving. The suspected location of Saren's office was just a stone's throw away and there was little time left.

"Kaidan," Shepard said, standing up. "Take care of Wrex and get him to the departure area … Garrus and I will locate the office."

"But what if Saren is there?" Kaidan asked, tending to Wrex's wounds.

"I'm fine," Wrex growled as he started to get up.

"Stay!" Shepard growled back and then looked at Kaidan, "The salarians will kill him if they see him alone ... Kirrahe sent two trackers after him and if they find him ..."

"A foolish move," Wrex said, shifting his damaged armor as he began to try and sit up. "Two was an insult."

"You didn't …" Shepard started but stopped. She knew that the krogan had taken care of that problem and sighed, "One more thing that does not leave this team … Everyone understand?"

As Kaidan and Garrus nodded, Shepard looked at Wrex who was now sitting up, "Give me a few minutes, human," he told her. "You cannot face Saren alone."

"I'll be there," Garrus told him, trying to hide his exposed foot from the krogan.

"As I said … alone," Wrex continued, ignoring the turian. "I can already feel my strength returning."

"That's good," Shepard answered, looking at him. "Once you have your strength back, I expect you and Kaidan to head out. Garrus and I will not be far behind, I promise."

As Shepard and Garrus exited the lab, Wrex looked at Kaidan, "Once I have my strength back … we will not be far behind her."

"Agreed," Kaidan said, applying medi-gel to Wrex's bullet wound. "Of course, that will probably land me in my parents' basement in Vancouver ... but better that if it means that Shepard lives."

* * *

><p>The asari had watched the human and turian approach her area on the surveillance screens and had Saren not instructed her to let the human pass ... she could have easily put both the intruders down. Instead, she pretended to hide and appear afraid when the door was opened and they walked in.<p>

"Don't shoot!" She cried out as the camera in the room focused on Shepard. "Please. I just want to get out of here before it's too late."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Shepard said, seeing the camera in her peripheral vision. "I just want to find where Saren Arterius is … can you help?"

"I am Rana Thanoptis, neurospecialist," she said, extending her hand to Shepard.

Shepard remembering Wrex's warnings about the asari did not take her hand, "Shepard, SpecTRe … where is Saren?"

Rana did not like how the human had refused her hand. It was rude. After all, the asari was just trying to make the human feel more at ease by following one of her customs … hand shaking. But instead of showing her displeasure, Rana walked over to the door behind her and smiled. "This door behind me leads to Saren's private office."

"Careful, Shepard," Garrus did not like how easy this was.

"I know," Shepard said under her breath as she looked around the lab and stopped at a glass display that housed an odd octahedron shaped black metal piece the size of a basketball.

Rana saw where the human's eyes were focused and a part of her hoped that this person would be her way out of this plant. The whispers were getting louder and she knew that it was only a matter of time before she ended up an empty drooling vessel. "May I go?"

"Why does Saren need a neurospecialist?" Shepard asked, only a few feet from the display case.

"Why?" Rana gave a quick glance towards the camera and then decided to be truthful. After all, a part of her wanted to escape and if this human somehow killed Saren … yes, a long shot … she might be free at last. "I am studying a ship called Sovereign and its effect on organic minds."

"The indoctrination," Shepard looked over at Rana and frowned.

"Yes," Rana answered, surprised that she knew what it was. "That is the main focus here."

"Not the cloning?" Garrus asked, sounding surprised.

"No." Rana answered. "The cloning was important but the study of indoctrination more so … Saren wants to know how it works. But I'm not sure why ... Saren is not always forthcoming with his reasons or information."

"You helped him and you didn't even know why?" Garrus asked.

"I didn't have the option of questioning his motives," Rana defended herself. "Or of negotiating new terms once I was here. This position is a little more … permanent than I'd expected. The Matriarch was not exactly honest when she brought me here."

"Matriarch Benezia?" Shepard asked, thinking of Liara at the mention of her mother.

"Yes," Rana answered. "But I can help you. I can not only get you two into his office … but I can also give you full access. All of Saren's private files are up there. Here …" Rana punched into her omni-tool. "Here are the pass codes. Are we good? Can I go?"

"And your data?" Shepard looked over at Rana's desk. "Is it all there? Your findings on Sovereign?"

"Yes," Rana answered. "That ship emits some kind of … signal. Undetectable, but its there. I've seen the effects."

"How are you able to study it here?" Shepard asked. "Is Sovereign here?"

"No," Rana answered, walking over to the display case. "I've never seen the ship in person but Saren brought this piece here … all of that ship is tainted. How he got this piece … I don't know."

"He's even stealing from his master," Shepard shook her head as she looked at it.

"How do you know it was stolen?" Garrus was confused.

"I have a feeling that Saren thinks he is outsmarting it," Shepard looked up at the camera and back at Rana. "After all, I don't think Sovereign would need research being done on its power. So this signal?"

"Saren uses it to influence his followers, to control them." Rana continued. "Even direct exposure to this piece of Sovereign … its signal … turns you into a mindless slave over time. But there's collateral damage, too."

"Collateral damage?" Shepard asked, looking again at the octahedron shaped black metal piece.

"Sovereign's signal is too strong," Rana answered. "Even this small piece of it … has power. Spend too much time near the ship or a piece of it and you feel it. Like a tingle at the back of the skull. It's like a whisper you can't quite hear. You're compelled to do things but you don't know why … You just obey. Eventually, you just stop thinking for yourself. It happens to everyone at the facility. My first test subject was the man I replaced." Rana looked up at the camera and then whispered to Shepard "Now I just want to get out of here before it happens to me."

"So that piece of junk sends off a signal?" Shepard asked, as Garrus moved farther away from it.

"Signal's not exactly the right word," Rana answered, hoping to be free of the place. "There's some kind of energy field emanating from it … and I would guess an even stronger energy field from the ship. It changes thought patterns. Over time … days, maybe a week … it weakens your will. You become easier to manipulate and control. But it's a degenerative condition. There's a balance between control and usefulness. The less freedom a subject maintains, the less capable it becomes."

"Why is Saren researching this?" Garrus asked, as Shepard began to remove the glass case before Rana stopped her. "Isn't he the one controlling it?"

"The signal comes from the ship," Rana told him as she shook her head no to Shepard.

"It makes you obey Saren," Shepard looked at Rana. "But I don't think he controls it."

"Exactly," Rana said, moving out of sight from the camera and whispering to Shepard. "I think he's scared it might be affecting him ... Indoctrination is subtle. By the time the effects become noticeable, it's usually too late. Whatever you do, stay away from anything that comes from Sovereign. All of it is tainted. I don't know how … Just that it is."

Shepard moved closer to Rana and whispered, "Is Saren in his office?"

Rana hoped that this human could defeat him but she wasn't stupid. She looked back at the camera and then shook her head, "No … he left the island yesterday."

"What do you want to do with her?" Garrus asked as Shepard moved toward the door.

"Look, this job isn't worth dying over ... Or worse!" Rana began to panic. "You think the indoctrination only affects the test subjects? Sooner or later, I'll end up like all the others and then Saren will want to dissect my brain, too!"

"Keep her company," Shepard said, as she opened the door and looked at Rana, "If these pass codes don't work … I won't hesitate to put a bullet in your head."

"Shepard?" Garrus had not planned on staying behind with the asari.

"I can't risk her setting off any alarms," Shepard said. "I'll be right back … if she does try anything, kill her."

"What?" Rana looked at Shepard as the door closed behind her.


	90. Dance of the Marionette

The door opened slowly as the two women struggled with their luggage after a long, tiring flight that included two layovers and countless check points. The Alliance had offered them an escort to the home of Commander Shepard, but the older woman had gracefully declined the offer. She hated to be fussed over. Now she almost wished that she had taken the offer. She was tired. After all, from the start at their front door in Tybee Island, Georgia to Shepard's front door on the Arcturus Station, it had taken thirty-two hours total.

_Not bad for traveling over 36 light years_, Shepard would have told them. But Shepard wasn't there. Grandma Elizabeth and Aunt Melanie knew that but wanted to be there when Shepard returned home. Based on their previous correspondence with her she had estimated another week before the Normandy would need maintenance on the Arc. But that was before Virmire and so a message was waiting in her grandmother's inbox to say that she might be delayed but to _please make yourself at home. Tell Aunt Mel that I just started reading The Shunning and will hopefully have it finished by the time I see you two. Love, Elizabeth _

As they entered the apartment, Mel pressed the doorbell and a clap of thunder went off causing Elizabeth to jump. "Why must you do that every time we are here?" She asked her daughter who gave a small laugh. "You are supposed to be my good child!"

"Sorry, momma," Mel said, still laughing. "I thought that Eli might have changed it."

"Hmph!" Elizabeth knew that there was a little Jack in all of her kids.

"Honest!" Mel said, moving their luggage into the main living area from the outside.

"I always forget how small her place is," Elizabeth said as she entered the dimly-lit dining area and put her purse and hat down on the reclaimed cedar dinner table. "She could afford a bigger place."

"I think it fits her," Mel smiled as she carried the luggage in and glanced over at the family photo of her brother, Hannah and their daughter located over the bookshelf. "It would be nice if she had a spare bedroom, though."

"Let's see if she has anything other than wine or whiskey in her kitchen," Elizabeth said as she passed by the half-empty wine rack and unopened bottles of Jameson Irish Whiskey, Parker's Heritage Bourbon and Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey Whiskey Liqueur.

Mel looked over at the living area again and commented, "Did you ever notice that she has the same design style as Hannah?"

Elizabeth nodded as she turned the light on over the stove in the kitchen and then looked at the picture of Hannah and Shepard in the garden, "Like mother, like daughter."

"Pierce would have been sixty-one," Mel said more to herself as she looked at the family in a happier time. "I can't even imagine him that old ... Either of them, really."

Elizabeth could not hear her daughter as she looked at her granddaughter's provisions in the kitchen. Two Snickers and a bottle of _Jack Daniels Stone Ground Dijon Mustard _in the fridge, Stoli Elit Vodka in the freezer, and a large unopened jar of Heinz sour dill pickles in the cupboard. "Please tell me that you do not live like this when you are here, baby girl ... or that you have a drinking problem."

"I'll get us unpacked, momma," Mel said, as she started to carry the luggage to the bedroom. "Then let's have dinner and watch a movie."

"I'll let that nice man in M15 know that we are here," Elizabeth said, referring to Mr. Kramer who would take care of Shepard's place while she was gone.

"What did you say?" Mel asked, popping back into the main room just as Elizabeth opened the door.

"I'm going to let Shepard's friend know that we are here," She answered. "Then we need to go to the market … Lil'Bit's fridge and cupboards are empty … She lives like a church mouse." Looking at the alcohol she added, if only to herself, _a drunk church mouse_.

Mel looked at the kitchen, "She knew that she was going to be gone for a while, momma. I'm sure that she emptied it before she left. You know how she is … she likes coming back to a clean home. Hannah taught her that … she would always clean out the fridge before they went away on vacation. Hannah said that it was like a fresh start when they returned home."

Elizabeth couldn't stop thinking about the alcohol and was grateful that it did not apply to that or her granddaughter would be hospitalized … or worse. "Do you think she does a lot of entertaining here?"

Mel looked at where her mother was looking … saw the wine rack and whiskey bottles … and smiled.

* * *

><p>"Yes," Saren grinned as he watched the human SpecTRe make her way towards him. She had stopped briefly in the open walkway and looked out at the pre-dawn sky. Then she had lowered her head once and he thought he saw her speaking to herself but he wasn't sure. How long had she been hunting him? How long had he wanted her dead? As she neared, he triggered the large oversized windows to go dark, shut down the surveillance feed and then moved into the back of the room where he disappeared from view.<p>

He then patiently waited as she entered his office … _that's it, Shepard. Be careful. Pay attention to your surroundings … stay still long enough and you may see me. _A part of him hoped that she would, that part of him that was watching her as a senior SpecTRe would. It was hard to not critique her abilities as he would have if she had been placed under his training. David Anderson had been a joke to him … Someone who wanted to play a hero and overestimated his own abilities. That human, to Saren at least, had a need to be important. To be praised. But he was weak and his vanity was his Achilles heel. _But not this one_, he thought as she waited at the door for her eyes to adjust. He couldn't figure her out. He had looked at her history and his spies had delivered interesting reports but … he still didn't quite understand what pushed her. Now as she put her weapon away, he couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed in her. She had not seen him. He wanted to tell her where she had failed but … _Old habits die hard_, he bitterly thought. Then as he continued to note the actions of the human, he couldn't help but think of his old friend Nihlus. She had been his candidate and would have trained her … would have.

Shepard looked at the desk and noticed that there were marks on the right side and knew that it was from Saren. _A nervous habit_? She wondered as she looked at them closer. _Hmm_, she touched one of the marks and reasoned that it was a talon mark from the way that the wood was damaged … But where was he? A part of her had thought that he would be waiting for her here in this place and had stopped on the open walkway to pray for strength. She thought of David battling the giant and hoped that her weapon would be her stone. Shepard did not fool herself into believing that she was stronger or wiser than Saren. All of her research into his past made her only too aware of his abilities. He was, after all, considered to be the prime example of what a SpecTRe should be. When she was five years old and playing in her mother's garden, he was being accepted into the agency. He had been a SpecTRe almost as long as she had been alive.

As she looked at his marks on the desk, he wanted to tell her that she had done well in her struggle to find him. _I applaud you, Shepard. You have accomplished more than I would have thought possible from your kind … so impressive. Had these times been different I might … _his mind stopped as a whisper told him that she was a threat. A threat to him and the galaxy. She would undo all of his work and create a divide between him and Sovereign. _No … you cannot be allowed to get in my way. Your actions, your successes … Of course, they were all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. _

As the human turned her attention to his computer he thought of her kind. They were quickly crawling over other planets like roaches and claiming them as their own. Planting flags, re-naming them and demanding a seat on the Council. They had started colonizing planets that were already claimed by the batarians but the Council turned a blind eye when the act of theft was brought to them. Saren knew that in time the humans would go too far. They would try and claim a planet that belonged to the asari … or the salarian … or the turian. Then the Council would show their axe of discipline. It was only a matter of time. But all of that meant nothing now. All of the Council's power would mean nothing. All of the humans' clumsy grasps at power would mean nothing. He knew that. Now it was up to him to try and save at least his people. She had seen the vision but she still clung to the system. Like her kind, she seemed to not understand what was really at stake.

Shepard placed one of Tali's hacking devices on the computer and just at it started to download the information she caught movement to her extreme right. The hair on the back of her neck stood up and she took note of where her blade was as she shifted her hip in preparation of pulling out her primary weapon. Using her peripheral vision she focused on the area that the movement had come from and looked for any additional signs of an enemy. She was praying that it wasn't another shyno with a shinobigatana. She wanted to keep her head on her body, thank you very much.

He was pleased as he saw her shift. She had seen him and while he was disappointed in his error, he was glad to see her catch it. Yes, letting go of his SpecTRe side was hard. It was time for them to finally meet in person. "Shepard," she heard her name almost purred as he came out of the shadows.

"Saren," Shepard responded as she pulled out her pistol and aimed it at him. She was glad that it was not a shyno but she wasn't sure that he was any better … but he was the one that she had been searching for this past six months.

"It would appear that you have the … what do you humans say? The upper hand?" Saren's voice had a way of caressing every word and his appearance in person was imposing … mixed together, Shepard understood how he might influence others. Seduce, even. That thought brought back Shiala's warning … _his words can draw you in. Be careful, Shepard._ _He knows this. He knows how to seduce … to manipulate using your weaknesses … and skillfully._

Between his countenance, history and voice … Shepard understood as she stood face to face with him. But she was not biting as her mother's training reminded her … _Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him._

There was a moment of silence in the office as they scrutinized one another. Saren could see that she was weaker physically and knowing that he could overpower her left him to focus more on her than what would be the end result of their meeting. As he looked at her, he knew that wealth, status or power was not what she desired … not what motivated her. This intrigued him. Humans, in his opinion, were simple in their needs. But what did she want? Shepard realized that she was at a complete disadvantage, despite his appearing to be unarmed, and wondered what he wanted. Why he had not challenged her. She would need to move cautiously and chose to approach him diplomatically.

Breaking the silence, she informed him that she had been sent to locate and return him to the Council. Softening the charges in her delivery she told him that "they need to understand why it appears that one of their SpecTRes has allied himself with the geth."

"The Council?" Saren seemed amused at the use of that word. Shepard watched as he moved over to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of venefirous and began to pour himself a drink. "I would offer you a glass of an Earth liquid … but I have never entertained a human here … asari, however. Would you like a glass of elasa?"

Shepard said no and glanced at the device to see where it was in the download process. Twelve percent. _Hurry up_, she told it as she looked back up at Saren. She might die here today in this room but whatever was stored in his files would be on the Normandy. Even if she were dead, the Council and the Alliance would know what he was doing and why … or at least she hoped that was what the files contained. _Don't count those chickens_, she told herself as she watched Saren take a seat with his drink.

Saren placed the drink on the armrest and looked at his cane leaning against the other chair. He would use it when going out on social events occasionally as his father had before him. But his held a secret … a sharp, hungry secret. Now as he looked at the silver cane from Palaven he softly recited in Shepard's language, "But O heart! Heart! Heart! O the bleeding drops of red, where on the deck my Captain lies, fallen cold and dead."

Shepard was surprised to hear the turian not only recite human poetry but also in her language. She was surprised but she said nothing. Saren liked how she was not easily moved and that her feelings were so well concealed. It was an improvement since they last met. She had gained another point in his assessment but it would not save her.

Shepard knew that she would need to placate him and as she moved a little closer to the exit she said, "The Councilor Sparatus is looking forward to seeing you again … he believes that you are trying to protect us."

Saren could see that she was moving closer to the exit but it did not worry him. He knew that even if she made it to the door he could stop her … control her. So instead of grabbing her, he asked, "Do the visions rob you of your sleep?"

Shepard counted six steps from the door and then looked back at Saren, "Visions? What visions?"

"Do not pretend to be ignorant like the others," Saren reprimanded her as he stood up. "You've seen the vision from the beacon, Shepard ... You've seen what they can and will do once they're here. Does it rob you of your sleep?"

Shepard thought of the vision and pushed it away as she told him, "The visions showed me that we must stop them."

"Stop them?" Saren almost laughed, picking up his cane as Shepard moved two more steps closer to the door. "Think … What did you see?"

"Death," Shepard answered plainly. "I saw death."

"And hopelessness," he added, moving just a little bit closer to her. "You of all people should understand what the reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. Not by you … or by me."

Shepard could see that he was getting a little too close for comfort, "You and I are going to walk out that door …"

"Do not waste your energy on this," Saren cut her off. "Do not mire yourself in a pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms. The protheans tried to fight and they were utterly destroyed ... Their great civilizations brought down to dust."

"So we just give up?" Shepard asked, watching him swing his cane like a pendulum at his side. "We just lie down and let them slaughter us without a fight? Slaughter our children. Slaughter our loved ones?"

"No," Saren said, his cane halted in motion as he took another step towards her. "We try another way … can't you see? To fight against what is coming … as the protheans did, is to fight a losing battle. But what if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"

"How do we know they didn't try?" Shepard challenged. "Saren, how do we know that these things coming … don't want submission but annihilation? That they don't desire servitude but our extinction?"

Saren looked away, her words tinged with truth … _no_, the word sliced through him. _She can't understand as I do. She is weak_ … "Now you see why I never came forward with this to the Council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We will fight even when we know we cannot win."

"But you think your solution of slavery is acceptable?" Shepard could not believe that the Saren Arterius she had read in the files, or what was left, was the same turian in front of her. "That letting someone … something … control your life is better? And what if you're wrong? What if we all just welcome them in and they cut us down? What if they are coming to separate the chaff from the wheat? And we are the chaff_?_"

"Open your eyes," Saren told her, "If we work with the reapers … if we make ourselves useful … think how many lives could be spared. Once I understood this, I joined Sovereign, though I was aware of the … dangers."

"Indoctrination," Shepard saw his cane start to swing again. "That's why you have this facility ... and you have tried to keep it from Sovereign."

"I had hoped using this facility for my research would protect me," Saren confided. "That I would find the answer that would keep me … untouched."

"That's why the research," Shepard could see that he was afraid and that realization brought her mind back to the horror of it all. She reminded herself that he had witnessed the corruption of so many … Matriarch Benezia, included … and knew better than anyone how powerful Sovereign was. And it had terrified him. It terrified her now. "You know that Sovereign is influencing you … and you're afraid he's controlling your thoughts even now. You know that you aren't in control anymore."

Saren took a step back as he clutched the cane, "No. I am still in control."

"I don't think so," Shepard stepped forward, softening her words. "And you don't think so."

"You do not understand!" Saren argued. "The more control Sovereign exerts, the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace. Sovereign needs me to find the conduit. My mind is still my own."

"Are you sure?" Shepard continued to cast doubt. "From what I understand, the transformation from ally to servant can be subtle. Am I wrong? You could think you were in control but be following that thing's desires. Not yours. How would you know?"

"I will not let that happen to me," Saren insisted, taking two steps towards her as she took two steps back. The dance between the two was becoming stronger as his anger grew. "Sovereign has promised!"

"It lied!" Shepard asserted. "It has already started treating you as a marionette and once you have handed over the conduit like a good little slave, your services will no longer be necessary."

"No," Saren rejected her words. "The conduit is the key to my salvation … and to your destruction."

Shepard needed to break him, "Sovereign's manipulating you and you know it ... The Saren Arterius that I read about would never accept subjugation."

"No!" Saren yelled out in anger, gripping the cane. "Sovereign needs me! If I find the conduit I've been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. This is my only hope."

"But it isn't!" Shepard yelled back, "And a part of you must know this or you would not have this place. Dammit, Saren! Together we can stop Sovereign ... we have the backing of the Council, the resources of so many agencies and people … We don't have to submit to the reapers. We can beat them, Saren. We can do what the protheans failed at. Don't you see?"

Saren looked at Shepard and for one brief moment there was hope but then … "I no longer believe that, Shepard. The visions cannot be denied. The reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join them. Sovereign is a machine. It thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource worth maintaining. There is no logical conclusion."

"So you sell out the galaxy?" Shepard said in disgust, moving just two steps away from the exit. "You trade the blood of your own people for your own salvation? A SpecTRe? A turian? You are neither! You're a coward trading in everything just to live another day … even if it means eating dirt and having your will stripped from you."

Saren, enraged, began to move against Shepard as he said, "I'm not doing this for myself!"

Shepard shot him in the chest twice and watched in horror as the bullets failed to pass his barrier. She backed away toward the exit but he moved quickly and as Shepard shot again, he knocked her against the door. Saren then grabbed the pistol from her like an adult taking a toy from a child and tossed it across the room. "You will not succeed!" Shepard said in defiance as she struggled against him.

"Don't you see?" He asked, pushing her face first into the door as he pulled her left arm up behind her back. As she fought crying out in pain, he moved over her shoulder and just inches from her face told her that Sovereign would succeed. "It is inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive. I'm forging an alliance between us and the reapers. Between organics and machines. And in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed."

"You are going to get everyone killed," Shepard said through gritted teeth as she began to position her stance a little lower since he was so close. As she shifted her weight to her forward leg, she knew that she had one shot at this. She then positioned her other leg directly in front of Saren's groin and in one swift motion drove her heel into him. As he fell backwards, Shepard turned but before she could pull out her knife ... Saren pushed back up from the desk, grabbed his cane and after revealing its hidden secret slashed at her as she sidestepped it.

Without hesitating, she then grabbed his arm and drove her boot down on the blade breaking it. As it broke in two it surprised both Shepard and Saren. He cursed and she thanked God just before he grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. She would have gouged at his eyes but he was too far away and as he slammed her up against the wall she struggled for air. She knew that if she could get to her knife that she could at least have a fighting chance but … he was too strong.

Saren dug his talon into her neck as he told her that she could not undo his work. That she could not doom the entire civilization to complete annihilation by her lack of faith. "Even seeing what is to come … you remain blind. You would continue to fight me. You would continue to doubt what needs to be done. And for that, you must die."

* * *

><p>Marlene Dietrich was singing <em>The <em>__Boys in the Back Room__ on the screen over the fireplace as Elizabeth placed the zucchini casserole into the oven. Mel had chosen _Destry Rides Again _from her niece's film library and it made her think of her brother … it was one of his favorite films.

"Momma," Mel called out as she lit a few candles around the apartment. "Do you remember that summer that they visited and Eli and Tim-Tim played in poison ivy?"

"Don't remind me," Elizabeth said, pouring them both a glass of tea before joining her in the living area. "I could see why Lil'Bit didn't recognize the ivy … Mindoir and all. But Tim-Tim? That boy was born and raised in Georgia ... he should have known."

"That was the last time I watched this movie," Mel said, sitting down next to her. "Poor kids were all ointment up and Pierce had laid on the couch with her and watched this film. Every time she moaned he would look at Hannah all lost like."

"Men don't do well when they can't fix what's wrong," Elizabeth said, sitting back and closing her eyes.

"Maybe that's why they need Eli out there," Mel smiled as she watched Dietrich kick at a woman on the screen.

"It doesn't matter why, she should be with us," Elizabeth frowned, eyes still closed, as Mel looked at her mother's face. "Why she has to be the one out there … facing whatever danger … they should have a man do it. Not my granddaughter ... Hannah and Pierce would be sick with worry over her if they were still alive."

Mel began to remove the items off the top of the chest as she said, "But on Elysium there were men there and she still carried them all. You heard the survivors at the trial. She needed to be there and I guess … well, she needs to be out there now."

"Oh, I know," Elizabeth opened her eyes to see her daughter pulling out additional bedding for them from the chest. "Your daddy says that no one can do what Lil'Bit is doing … but I'm a selfish grandmother. I want her home. Safe." Elizabeth looked at the family photo and added, "I want Pierce's daughter to have a happy life."

"What makes you think that she isn't happy?" Mel looked at her mother as she closed the chest.

"How happy can she really be out there as a galactic Marshall always in danger?" Elizabeth frowned. "Remember those trials? The images? The deaths? And now she is out there chasing bad creatures … God only knows what kind of creatures."

"Momma," Mel smiled, placing the bedding on the oversized chair near the fireplace. "Why do you think that she would be in danger all the time?"

"Melanie Anne Shepard," Elizabeth raised a brow at her daughter, "I know that she is not herding bunnies. You and your father think I am clueless about what a SpecTRe does … She is putting her life on the line and doing things we don't want to know … How could God put all of that on the daughter of my son?"

Mel sat back down on the couch and took her mother's hand, "Momma, Hannah would have said to trust in the Lord and not on your own understanding. The Lord will watch over her … or Hannah will. Or both."

"If Hannah were here … my namesake would not be out there," Elizabeth responded. "You and I both know that … and so does Lil'Bit! If God had been doing his job ..."

"Momma!" Mel put her hand over her ears.

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth said to her daughter. "I'm tired ... and hungry. Maybe I should steal some of her whiskey."

Mel grabbed a blanket and covered her legs, "I know that Eli struggles with it … her life choice. We talked about it the last time she was home in Tybee. She's afraid that she is somehow disappointing both Pierce and Hannah … But she really believes that this is where she needs to be for now."

"I really wish that she and Manny had married," Elizabeth had loved him and believed that he would have kept her grounded. "He loved her … and he would have taken care of her. They would have kids by now."

"Yeah … well," Mel had found a card on one of the end tables in the bedroom. A card that Shepard had left there the last time she was there. Mel was not one to snoop but the tree and lake on the cover were interesting. As she opened the card and saw the sketch and words she felt as if she had violated her niece's privacy. She closed the card and slid it into a drawer so that her mother would not see it … and now as she listened to her mother go on about Lil'Bit finding a husband and settling down … Mel wondered who this woman, Liara T'Soni, was. Was it serious? Were they still seeing each other? Where did they meet? So many questions. "I'm sure that she will find someone, momma."

"I just want her to be happy," Elizabeth ended her little speech of marriage and motherhood.

"And safe," Mel added, taking a drink of her tea as she kept her niece's personal life ... private.

* * *

><p>He threw her across the room and as she slammed against the far wall she dropped to her knees and pulled out her knife. Her breathing was heavy and her eyes were burning from the sweat running into them. She hoped that was sweat. But she had to keep her wits about her. <em>I can do all things through him who strengthens me,<em> she recited as he approached her. _Please give me strength,_ she continued to pray as she kept her knife hidden behind her bent leg … waiting for him to get close enough for her to strike.

Just a few feet from where she needed him, he stopped and asked her what she was hiding. "You are far from being a skilled fighter, Shepard … You are far from being a SpecTRe."

"Still singing that old tune," Shepard choked out, her throat sore. "I hate to tell you this, buddy, but I am a SpecTRe." He appeared angered but still stood there so she decided to try and taunt him "That must really piss you off! A human as a SpecTRe! Maybe Sovereign will decide that I am a better ally. That you are now too corrupted … too useless … too indoctrinated."

Yes, she knew that Saren was quick but Shepard was ready this time and as he moved forward in a rage, she slammed the knife into his inner thigh. He let out a roar and she felt the knife break off in his leg as she tried to twist it out. This caused him to roar out in pain louder and as she raced towards the exit he lunged at her. They both crashed to the floor; with him on top of her and Shepard, having landed on her back, had the wind knocked out of her.

Saren began to apply pressure where he had dug into her with his talon as she struggled to breath, but at least by not having air she couldn't cry out in pain. But even as she struggled for breath, her adrenalin gave her the drive to kick away from him as he used his talons to tear into her neck again. He was trying to slice through her carotid arteries and Shepard, fearing the worse, reached down and grabbed his injured thigh, clawing into the wound. This made him howl again in pain and Shepard used that moment to crawl out from under him.

Wrex and Kaidan had just made it out of the lift when they heard the fight and Wrex, despite his injuries, ran straight into the door. Kaidan heard it crack against the weight and he might have helped but he knew that the krogan would crush him if he tried. Saren and Shepard both jumped at the sound of the door being almost torn down and Shepard watched as Saren struggled up on his feet.

Seeing the krogan smashing against the door on his surveillance feed, Saren went to the windows and opened one as Shepard limped to the pistol. Wrex crashed against the door again as Saren stood up on the window sill and dropped a platform out the window.

"Sovereign is going to use you and then throw you away," Shepard warned and then as she shot at him, even though she knew that it was useless, he disappeared out the window.

Standing in the office alone, she wished that she had her flask … but that was somewhere in the sea. Shepard looked up at the surveillance screen that Saren had activated and it showed Wrex slamming into the door again. Shepard was not about to go near that door and so she limped back to the computer. There she saw that it had completed its download and the gadget had already self-destructed.

"How did I miss that?" She said, trying to make herself laugh. But it was hard, knowing that neither she nor Saren had noticed because they were too busy trying to kill each other. At least the giant had not killed her.

"Shepard!" She heard Kaidan holler as Wrex slammed into the door again. "Are you okay? Shepard?"

"I need a new job," Shepard groaned as she sat down and watched Wrex on the monitor.


	91. Room For One More

The tropical storm had passed but had left the river angry as pieces of debris raced by the rendezvous point. One of the four paddle boats had been lost to the rising river and Chakwas had helped pull the other three farther up on the shore. She was starting to get nervous as the hour of detonation neared and was a little disappointed when the three salarians arriving from the plant weren't any of her crew.

The salarian introduced as Lt Ganto Imness had refused medical attention from her and as he took a seat under the tarp she noticed a small twitch in his left hand. The other salarians in camp were patting him on the back, giving him a hug and telling him how glad they were to see him. She saw that his responses were normal but there was something not quite right. As the others moved away, she noticed that he was whispering to himself and as she started to move towards Commander Rentola to tell him her concerns, the salarian ran to a raft and began to push it towards the water.

"Ganto!" she heard one of his comrades yell as he continued to talk to himself and run around the other side … pulling it now closer to the raging river.

"I can't!" she heard him say as the others tried to overpower him. "You don't understand … I can't! They are coming!"

"Lt. Imness! Stand down!" Rentola ordered, as the deranged salarian continued to fight his comrades. "We are here to help you."

"Help?" Imness screamed to them that there was no help. No hope. He screamed that even now the darkness pulled at him … the very darkness that was coming. He told them that the whispers were becoming as that very river … _uncontrollable and destructive_. It was then that Chakwas saw him pull one of the weapons from another STG and start shooting them. As the handful of salarians began to fall, Chakwas moved behind a tree and pulled out her weapon. As she peered around it, pistol ready … she saw Rentola struggling to get the gun away from Imness.

As the two salarians grappled with each other, Chakwas heard a shot sound … then Rentola crumpled to the ground and Imness shot into the three rafts. _No one can save us … they won't … they won't let us! The harvest is ready … can't you see? They are ready!_ As he continued to cry of the darkness coming and of the hope leaving them, he ran into the raging river and was swallowed up.

Chakwas raced towards Rentola and found him breathing. "Hang on," she told him as she quickly checked on the other salarians before grabbing her medical bag.

Only Rentola had survived the attack and as Chakwas bent over him, it began to start sprinkling. Chakwas looked over at the useless rafts and frowned. She would need to get her and the salarian Commander at least a half mile down the river to be safe. But first she needed to stabilize him and notify the teams that the boat plan was no longer on the table.

* * *

><p>"We are coming in too fast!" Satake said, worried that Tali might be hurt.<p>

"We are fine," the salarian pilot assured him as he opened the parachute valve all the way, so the air could escape out the top of the balloon. "Just be ready to grab the cord and hit the ground when I tell you … I'd hate to slide too far."

"Do you need my help?" Tali asked, as the ground continued to get closer.

"No," Satake told her as he grabbed the landing cord. "I got it ... you just brace yourself."

"And watch the bomb," the pilot told her. "We will only have a few minutes to unload, assemble, set it and then re-launch. There will be no room for error."

"Three of three silenced," Ashley communicated to the other teams. "We are now heading for the landing site for additional back-up per my team … Shadow, are you ready?"

"See!" Satake almost shouted as he rubbed his head. "Good old Ash!"

"Upload is complete and we are preparing to return now," Kaidan responded as the team stood back in the office with Rana Thanoptis.

"Mannovai is on the way back to the rendezvous point," Kirrahe said. "All ground teams should start to evacuate … there is very little time left to make it outside the blast zone."

* * *

><p>Shepard was looking at the item in the glass case as Rana asked if she could go. Shepard had no more need of her as one of Tali's devices was now downloading her computer and was almost complete. "I'm going to blow this place to hell and gone ... If you want to make it out alive, you'd better start running. "<p>

Rana's eyes grew wide, "What? You can't … but I'll never … ahh!"

As the asari raced from the office, Garrus shook his head, "You enjoyed that, Commander."

"Yes … yes, I did," Shepard smiled as she picked up the case. "Garrus … you and Wrex return to the Mako with this. Don't let any of the STG see you on your way back. I don't want them to see Wrex or this trinket."

"Shepard," Wrex started to protest but was denied a vote.

"No," Shepard said, handing the case to him. "If the STG see you …"

And then, as if on cue, one of Kirrahe's men appeared in the doorway, "Commander Shepard, the Captain wanted me to … it's you!"

"Put your weapon down," Shepard told him as everyone in the room, except Wrex, had weapons drawn and pointed.

"I have my orders," the salarian answered, weapon pointed at Wrex. "No krogan is to leave this facility alive."

Garrus looked at Wrex and then at Shepard, "Commander, maybe if we …"

The sound of Shepard's weapon silenced him as the salarian fell to the ground ... dead.

"Commander?" Kaidan had been shocked at Shepard's killing the salarian without a word.

"Go!" Shepard told Garrus as she knelt down to make sure that the salarian was dead. _Forgive me … another piece of my mother … gone. _

Kaidan watched as Shepard touched the head of her victim as Garrus said more to himself, "One more thing we don't ever talk about."

"Let's move," Wrex said, heading for the door.

Shepard knew that the STG would not stand down, would not disobey his Captain's orders ... he would die first. She also knew that if she didn't act fast he would kill them all. Wrex's words _they hide what they are thinking and will strike before you even know they are at odds with you_ echoed in her mind and so she had acted first. She also knew that he had seen the item that Wrex was holding and she could not have others knowing of its existence. It was too dangerous. Of that she was sure.

Now as she gave a silent prayer over him, Kaidan could not believe that she had killed him in cold blood. He believed that she could have talked him down if she had really wanted to but instead … _she killed him_.

* * *

><p>"Oh, shit!" Satake yelled just as the shuttle carrying Saren sped just inches by them.<p>

The balloon rocked as the team hid behind the basket and once they knew it was safe stood up again.

"Who was that?" Tali asked, adjusting her suit.

"Not one of us," the pilot said, as Satake tightened his grip on the landing cord.

They were just a few minutes from landing, the balloon getting closer to the landing zone.

Satake looked at Tali as his stomach tightened. He had started to have a bad feeling as they got closer to the plant and he hoped that if only one of them in that balloon survived … it was her. Dr. Chakwas interrupted his worry as she asked for backup over the comm. She informed the other teams how Lt. Imness had opened fire once at the rendezvous point.

"Crap!" Satake's fear deepened as he looked at the bomb. The boats destroyed? How would the ground teams still inside the plant survive? His mind raced as he thought of his Commander still on-site and then there was the Chief … she was meeting the balloon at the landing. Satake looked at the space that the bomb, currently in two sections, took up and then asked the pilot how many the basket could hold once the bomb was gone.

"Six," the pilot answered.

"How many are with you, Chief?" Satake asked over the comm.

"There are five of us," Ashley was heard to respond. "Why?"

"Just asking," He said, rubbing the top of his head as he mumbled, "Five plus three … eight. No, that's two too many." He looked at the pilot and asked if they could squeeze in two extra.

"No," the pilot answered.

Satake tried to argue that there was more room inside the basket … "At least five more people could fit. Five."

"Allie?" Tali could see that the soldier was starting to get angry as well as sweat.

"Appearances mean nothing," the pilot told him as he explained that adding more than three more people would make the basket too heavy … "we would never get it off the ground."

Satake rubbed his stubbled chin now and looked at Tali. He had been told to protect her and the pilot but … "Tali, you won't mind if I stayed behind and get out on foot, would you?"

* * *

><p>Garrus was amazed how the krogan, even wounded, could move faster than him through the thick jungle. Granted, he could just use his body to break through while the turian had to use a machete but … the krogan pushed on at such a pace that Garrus was jogging almost.<p>

"Do you think that we should be taking that with us?" Garrus asked, referring to the item in the case.

Wrex heard the question and while he thought that the item should be destroyed, he kept that to himself. He believed that once onboard the Normandy he could talk Shepard into destroying it. Or at least putting it where it could never be found … he hoped. The old battlemaster had seen things in the last two months that had left him frightened. It started with the asari Matriarch and now seeing that STG salarians could be indoctrinated as well ... anything that was powerful enough to control them … especially a Matriarch … was too powerful to play with. The krogan knew that if the thing he was carrying had that power? It could not be trusted with anyone.

"According to that asari," Garrus told Wrex as he struggled to keep up, "that thing can't be studied without eventually corrupting whoever is around it. She said that even she would end up like the mindless salarians that were back there."

Wrex grunted and moved faster not wanting to talk to the turian about it. He just wanted to get that thing out of his arms and away from him. Sometimes he couldn't help but think that Shepard liked to play with fire … only this time she was having him carry the match. Or was this thing the gasoline?

* * *

><p>"Is it set?" Ashley yelled over the plant's alarm that had sounded just after Saren's shuttle had put distance between it and the facility.<p>

Tali, moving as quickly as she could, answered, "Almost … just a few more minutes."

"We may not have that," Satake told her as he pointed over to one of the bay doors leading out of the drained section of the canal.

"Get ready!" Ashley told the STG with her as the door clanked open slowly and half a dozen krogan entered the area.

Kaidan and Shepard had just arrived on the bridge overlooking the landing zone when the fighting started. Looking down towards the balloon, they saw their team and the STG in front of the bomb as the krogan ran towards them. Shepard and Kaidan from where they were knew that they could not help. They had to get closer if they were to help … but how? There was no way down from where they stood.

"It's done!" Tali shouted over the firefight and then gave a yell as a ricocheted bullet came too close for comfort. She saw a slight tear in the outer layer of her suit and began to patch it quickly as Satake pushed her behind him.

"We must leave now!" The pilot, still in the basket, informed Satake as he finished switching out the tank and started adjusting the burner.

As Satake looked at the empty tank on the ground next to the basket asked if that meant an additional person could now be added … but the pilot shook his head as he said no. This made Satake frown as he yelled, "Tali on board!"

Then Satake told Ashley that they were ready but that the basket could only hold six. She told him to get in the basket as she let the others know the situation. The STG of her Aegohr team nodded and wished her well. They had one more task to complete … ensure that the bomb went off. Her team had been instructed by their own Captain that their last task was to give their lives if needed.

"It has been an honor working with you, Chief Williams," SGT Kersbo told her. "We will remain here … you need to leave with them."

"We have room for three more!" The pilot shouted to those still on ground.

Ashley told her lead to pick three of the men as she saw the last krogan drop just a few feet from them. "The rest of us can get out another way."

Kersbo looked at the human and seeing that she was not understanding that they had volunteered their lives … lied, "We will leave on foot now that the area is clear … you go with them."

As Ashley started to climb into the basket she looked up and saw Shepard and Kaidan on the bridge. She told the pilot that he was going to need to swing the basket over the bridge and pick them up. "Can you do that?"

"No problem," he informed her as he began to increase the flame.

As the basket began to rise, a secondary wave of krogan entered the area and the STG moved in front of the bomb as they began to fire. Ashley looked down at Kersbo and the remaining Aegohr team and she knew what she had to do. She had seen her team die on Eden Prime and that guilt … survivor's guilt had torn at her. It had robbed her sleep at times and had it not been for the talks with Shepard, who had experienced far worse, she might have been far worse. Now looking down at this team … she was not going to leave them and save her own skin.

"Keep the Commander safe," Ashley said as she looked at Satake before dropping back on to the ground.

"What are you doing?" Satake asked, climbing halfway over the basket.

"I can't leave them," Ashley told him. "Go get the Commander and I'll meet you back at camp."

"But there is room!" Satake told her as he pointed around him. "We have room!"

"I know," Ashley smiled, pulling her weapon up to her chest. "But I have a responsibility to this team."

"Then I'm staying too!" Satake said, starting to climb out as Tali grabbed him.

"You will stay on the course that the Commander put you on!" Ashley told him as she also stopped him from leaving the basket. "You will make sure that the quarian gets to safety! That our Commander gets to safety!"

Tali normally would have said her own name … hating it when others called her quarian … but she could see that this was the one time to let it go. "Allie!" Tali said, grabbing his arm. "The Chief is right. Shepard told you to stay with me … if you go, I go!"

Satake looked over at Tali and back at Ashley, "But we have room for one more … we have room."

"I know," Ashley lightened her tone as she could see his pain. "I'll see you back at camp."

As the balloon rose higher, Ashley could hear the Pvt. repeat that there was room. But now she focused on the krogan just a few feet away. The one good thing about the clones was that there were no biotic abilities and they were weaker than a normal krogan … or maybe it was unfair to judge them against Wrex. Whatever the case, they had quickly taken down this next group and as the STG checked their weapons, Ashley looked up at the balloon and then Shepard.

"What the hell are you doing, Chief?" Shepard had asked over their comm. when she had seen her exit the basket. Now as the krogan were scattered around the canal, Shepard repeated her question.

"I'm just making sure this bomb goes off," Ashley said, looking up at Shepard and Kaidan. "No matter what."

Shepard looked at the basket as it drew near and could see that at least three more people could have fit in it besides her and Kaidan. "Pilot, we are going back down."

The salarian pilot shook his head, "I'm sorry, Commander. But we are already cutting this close … we may not make it outside the blast as it is."

"I'm not leaving one of my soldiers behind," Shepard said as she climbed in.

"No," Ashley said, having heard Shepard over her open mic. "We can't risk losing you."

"And I can't risk losing you!" Shepard told her as the balloon began to rise.

"Commander," Ashley started but was cut off as another wave … a much larger wave of krogan entered the area.

"Oh, god!" Satake choked out as they saw over two dozen krogan spill into the channel. "They won't survive that … not on their own!"

"Take us down there!" Shepard ordered the pilot.

"No!" Kaidan told the pilot. "Get us out of here."

"I gave an order!" Shepard said, her eyes turning dark as she looked at the pilot. "If you don't return …"

"He's right," Ashley was heard over the open comm. lines. "You have to survive, Commander. We are expendable … you aren't!"

"I gave you an order!" Shepard said, ignoring Ashley's words as she grabbed the pilot around the neck. "Get us back down there or I'll split you open!"

"Shepard!" Kaidan, afraid that the Commander would kill their pilot, pulled her off by putting her in a sleeper hold. He knew that if she got free she might kill him as well but he had to stop her. Save her.

"Shepard!" Tali cried as she saw the person she admired struggling to breath.

"Allie!" Kaidan yelled as Shepard tried to get her weapon out.

"This is crazy!" Satake almost cried as he grabbed her pistol and then her arms. Shepard was much stronger than he had expected and struggled to keep a grip. As her eyes, dark and icy, looked into his ... he felt his balls tightened and sweat roll down his back as he said through a dry throat ... "I'm sorry, Commander."

"Get us out of here!" Kaidan told the pilot as Shepard continued to struggle against him and Satake to get free.

"Shepard," the Commander heard Ashley say as she started to get light-headed from the lack of oxygen. "Please stop him … and tell my family, tell my mother … I love her."

Shepard could feel her strength leaving her as her LT. not only knew how to subdue her but also what her reactions may be. He knew the techniques used to break a hold so he was prepared ... of course, having Satake helped. Shepard wanted to beg him to let her help Ashley but all she could do was fight to stay awake ... her struggle getting weaker but not her anger.

"I don't regret a thing," Ashley continued over the comm. as Shepard succumbed to the darkness. "And I am so proud to have served under your command. Honored."

"We were the ones honored," Kaidan told her as he carefully placed Shepard on the bottom of the basket.

"Shepard," Tali said, as she bent down next to her as Kaidan and Satake turned their attentions to the fight below.

"You get out of there," Kaidan told her. "You promise me that we will see each other back at camp."

"I think we both know that's not going to happen, LT," Ashley could be heard as she watched another salarian get crushed by a krogan.

_But we have room for one more_, Satake thought to himself as he looked down at Tali cradling Shepard's head in her lap.

"Ash," Kaidan called to her as the krogan moved closer and the balloon rose higher.

"You know it's the right choice, LT." Ashley said, her voice going in and out as she breathed heavier and the comm. system broke up. "Just take care of the Commander … she is our only …"

With that the line went dead as the krogan swarmed over them and the balloon climbed even higher.


	92. Soul In The Sand

She wasn't sure where she was at first as she opened her eyes but she knew that she wasn't in her cabin on the Normandy. "Mei?" She called out to her head nurse, Meixiang Zyu, simply out of habit as she slowly began to sit up. Almost in a haze she started to spit sand out of her mouth and still confused reached up to wipe her face. She felt a warm, sticky substance on her forehead, cheek and even in her disheveled hair. "Mei?"

It took her a few more minutes to realize that not only could she not hear her own voice but that the world itself was silent. The blast had dulled her hearing along with her wits at the moment. "Mei?" she cried louder as panic began to set in. Where was she? Why was she not on the Normandy? Where was everyone? "Commander?" Chakwas all but screamed as she looked at her hands … caked in blood and sand. Chakwas was a woman of control … she was not want to let her emotions control her … until this moment. Her heart rate was elevated, her breathing almost in a pant as she looked around.

"Get a grip," Chakwas told herself. "Stop acting like an old woman … you are not without skills." Looking around the silent world she had to add, "deaf skills … but skills nonetheless." It was then that she saw, just a few feet from her, an unconscious salarian … "Commander Rentola!" … even in her panicked state she noted his chest rising and falling slowly. He had a piece of a tree sticking out of his leg and it made her appreciate her own battered condition more. She might not be up to walking … but at least she didn't have a piece of the jungle in her. Well, if one didn't count the saliva of those damn Virmire blood suckers that had left welts on her body.

"Virmire," she whispered, grateful to at least remember the where of the mystery. Now she tried to focus on the what. As in, what had happened? She groaned as she tried to put weight on her right wrist. The pain made her remember the plan. "The bomb," she said, rubbing her wrist. Yes … the bomb had gone off as scheduled and while they had survived, it was not before the bomb waves had slammed into them … knocking them unconscious in the process. Unconscious, bruised, bloodied and battered .. and a feast for the blood suckers.

Chakwas' right hip was also sore and she realized that she must have landed on her holstered pistol when the blast knocked her back … touching the pistol made her breathe just a little easier, even if it had left a bruise. Coming back to the issue at hand, Chakwas knew that there was no telling how many of Saren's followers were around. Now she really cursed her inability to hear clearly … Looking again at the salarian lying defenseless, she knew that if anyone but allies arrived it was up to her and her alone to protect them. "Get moving," Chakwas told herself as she thought of the potential threats as well as nightfall approaching.

After having done a quick assessment of her own injuries; a cut on her forehead, lacerations on exposed areas, her right wrist swollen and probably sprained, her left leg twisted … she slowly stood up. The world began to swirl as she rose and before she had time to respond, her legs gave out. Chakwas yelped out in pain just as thunder clashed and the heavens opened above her releasing yet another round of rain … "Of course," Chakwas groaned as her hair fell into her face and water mixed with blood ran into her eyes.

After crawling over to Commander Rentola, she leaned carefully over his unconscious body, using her upper body to keep the unconscious salarian from the rain ... or at least from some of it. Despite the fact that there was no real cover from the weather, she was partially glad it was starting to rain harder. The cloud over the facility had turned black and she knew that the fire could spread … so the heavy rain was a much welcomed sight. Okay, maybe not welcomed but a necessary evil in her mind. She wondered how much time she had lost and as she pulled up her omni-tool she cursed yet again … Broken.

_Someone is bound to find us as long as we stay close to the river_, she thought to herself. _Let's just hope that it is not one of those krogan._ As she checked on Rentola's wounds she prayed that her team had made it out alive. She knew that anyone at that facility would not have survived and as she applied medi-gel to the salarian she remembered seeing the balloon pass. "Did I?" she questioned her memory. Had she seen the salarian balloon appear and disappear just before the explosion? Even in her questionable memory she could not recall seeing who the occupants were.

"You better have made it through, Commander," Chakwas said as she checked on Rentola's gunshot wound and then looked at her useless omni-tool. "And you better send a search party for us … soon." Who knew what kind of beasts were wandering in the Virmire jungles.

* * *

><p>"No sign of them yet," Satake yelled over to Kaidan as he stood on a large rock in the river.<p>

"Nothing?" Kaidan couldn't hide his frustration as the rain began to fall harder. _Dammit!_ He cursed to himself. Just what they needed … more flipping rain. He looked at his omni-tool and tried contacting Chakwas again … nothing.

"They can't be far though," Satake said, lifting his tongue to the sky and catching rain water.

"No ... not far," Kaidan answered and hoped they were both right. They had been searching for her and Rentola's team along the river for over three plus hours ... A search that was both slow and painful as they ran into small pockets of Saren's krogans … Krogans that had, unfortunately, not been in the facility at the time of the blast. Kaidan could only hope that Dr. Chakwas and the others, if still living, had not run into them before them.

"Do you think that the Commander is awake?" Satake asked as he jumped from rock to rock back to the riverbank.

_The Commander_ … Kaidan flinched. After landing at the salarian camp, Kaidan had put together a small team to find survivors. Part of it was his Alliance training kicking in. But the other part was the Commander lying unconscious in Kirrahe's tent. There was no way that he was going to be there when she first woke up. He knew that he was going to have to face her sooner or later … he just preferred later. Much later.

"Should I call Tali and see if she is up?" Satake asked, as Kaidan drifted closer to the rushing river. "I could call her and check in."

Kaidan, now standing next to the rushing water, shook his head no as he watched broken limbs and debris rush by. _The Commander_. He couldn't help but remember carrying her to the tent and placing her on a cot … or her countenance as she slept. She appeared so serene. So vulnerable. So innocent. Sometimes it was hard to reconcile the woman to the soldier. Looking at her lying on that cot was so removed from the person that had, without warning, killed one of their salarian ally's at Saren's base. That person scared him … even haunted him at times. There was darkness in her that could erupt and not always just against the enemy.

"Shall we continue?" One of the STG members asked. Salarians were never good at standing still for too long.

"Go on ahead," Kaidan answered, "I'll catch up."

"Lieutenant?" Satake looked worried.

"I'm okay," Kaidan answered, "I just need a minute on my own."

"Don't fall too far behind," The STG told him as he waved for the others to move out.

Kaidan looked at the salarian and as he gave a nod, the memory of Shepard's cold-blooded act of murder made him turn away. She hadn't even tried to reason with the salarian. Why? Shepard's actions and words confused him at times … even scared him. That darker part of her had, on more than one occasion, looked at him. Taunted him. Her warm green eyes turning black … cold and void of emotion. It made his throat tighten even now at the memory. But even that side of her could not stop how he felt about her. _There is a lot that you don't know about me_ … she had once told him. But he wanted to know. Needed to know.

As Kaidan began to move forward in the search for Chakwas, he hoped that Shepard understood why he had acted against her in the balloon. After all, they had barely made it outside of the blast zone as it was when the bomb went off. Kaidan stopped and looked again at the raging waters … "If we had gone back for … for … Oh, God! Ash."

Kaidan bent over as he lost the contents of his stomach. The taste was foul but it could not compare to the way he felt. He knew that his stopping the Commander was not a decision he had made as an Alliance Marine. He had made that decision as a man in love. He would not risk her life for anyone … not even a fellow soldier and … "I am so sorry," Kaidan said to the ghost of Ashley as he fell to his knees. "God, forgive me."

_Just take care of the Commander_, her words rang in his ears and they made him feel even more ashamed. To the end, Ashley had been a soldier … she had stayed true to her uniform and their Commander while he had reacted as a man. Yes, he knew that he had made the right decision … that was not what tore at him. What made him feel ashamed was his motivation. His reason. How was he going to face her even if she wasn't angry? Even if she understood that the decision was right? How would he ever forgive himself?

Kaidan looked around, glad that he was alone, and told himself to get a grip. He needed to refocus on the task at hand. _There will be time enough later to administer an emotional flagellation if that is what you crave_, he bitterly promised himself. That is if he survived the wrath of Shepard. A part of him hoped that he wouldn't.

* * *

><p>"Has there been no communication yet?" Kryter asked Liara, who was sitting on a crate and eating her midday meal.<p>

Liara, mouth-full, just shrugged her shoulders back … the salarians way of saying no as opposed to the human's shaking of the head. The delay did not worry her. She knew that Shepard was out on a mission and that could mean days before she was back on the Normandy. Pressly would make sure that Shepard got the message once she was back onboard.

"Maybe she is dead," Kryter said, sitting down on a crate facing her and looking at his own meal.

"Why would you say that?" Liara asked, putting her plate down next to her on the crate and grabbing her drink.

"She is a SpecTRe," he answered, matter-of-factly and then bit into his tajiki. Kryter knew that he had upset her, but he had to give voice to his thoughts. He did not understand how someone as intellectual as Dr. T'Soni could be so naïve at times. Hadn't she seen _SpecTRe Gone_? The movie that was based on a true story about two turian agents that had gone missing?

"Do not say that again," Liara glared and then turned away from him. She would not entertain that thought or allow those words to be spoken in her presence. Shepard could not be dead … Wrex would make sure of that.

"Just looking at all possibilities," Kryter said as he looked at Liara's profile. Somewhere in the cavern Thelma Houston began to sing _Don't Leave Me This Way_ on an omni-tool and that's when it came to him … Dr. T'Soni was not only curious about humans, but she also cared about a human's well-being. Cared. In all of his years working with the asari he had never known that to happen. He had seen many different species, his own included, hurt by loving an asari. They could focus on you as if you were the greatest mystery in the world, but once solved … the asari would move on. That's how he saw it at least. It might be true that the asari did not give of themselves as easily as other species; sensual pleasures nothwithstanding. That did not mean that they did not make connections. Asari just did not feel the same need as others to express their emotions or motivations to outsiders. This only furthered the misunderstandings that others had about the asari … a misunderstanding that they allowed to continue. Liara included.

"The Commander is on a mission," Liara picked up her plate again as her head slightly swayed to the tune.

"Or maybe," Kryter broke into her thoughts and the music, "She is angry at you … humans can be so emotional."

Liara looked down at her food, "It has been two months … maybe she … misunderstands … or …"

_So you really do care_, Kryter thought to himself. Liara rarely spoke of the human and if she weren't an asari he would have never made this connection. But where a human says a hundred words when emotionally invested, an asari will say five. This was, in a way, Liara's fifth word to him and now he was going to confirm his suspicions. "Two months … Yes, a very long time to us and humans … longer for SpecTRes. They die very early on."

"Why must you keep saying that?" Liara asked, realizing as she spoke those words that the salarian was trying to see inside her. This made her almost smile at the idea that a salarian would try and fool her … a salarian trying to pry into an asari.

"Well, I …" Kryter started only to be cut off by Liara.

"Kryter," Liara smiled, "the individuals who are chosen by the Council to become SpecTRes are chosen because they are the most gifted, intelligent and resilient of their species. Killing a SpecTRe is not as easy as you believe."

"Dr. T'Soni," an asari called from the area currently being excavated. "We have found another room!"

"She will call," Liara told him before standing up and heading for the latest find.

"But if she doesn't?" Kryter asked, jumping up after her.

Liara, turning to look back at him, answered, "I have work to focus on … if she does not call it gives me more time to focus on what is important. Now, no more talk about her … Let us see what they have uncovered."

Her response left Kryter confused … maybe he was wrong. He would never understand the asari and Liara, it would seem, was no different. He had been so sure. "Asari," Kryter mumbled as he quickly followed.

* * *

><p>The sun was slowly setting as Shepard stood just outside the base camp looking out towards the destruction of Saren's facility. A black cloud hung over the area as fire could be seen licking in and out of the smoke. On her way to this spot she had looked at the dead krogan piled together in the camp. Seeing no turian mixed in, she knew that Wrex was not in the pile. <em>Wrex.<em> She looked down at her hands and frowned. Decisions made ... actions taken ... in order to protect her team had to be lived with … _no regrets_. She would have shot that salarian again in order to protect her beast. _I had no other choice_, she told herself as she looked up at the sky.

But she did have regrets … and anger. Saren had escaped and then there was Chief Ashley Williams. Had Kaidan and Satake been in camp and not off-site when she had come to, she would have made them feel her anger at both of these things. Fair? No. Human? Yes. She was still ready to ship both of them back to the Arc. The quarian had scampered away when Shepard had come out of the tent and if she had not been so angry, she would have laughed at the sight.

Captain Kirrahe had informed her that Lt. Alenko and Pvt. Satake were part of the search and rescue team when she first came to. "Smart boys," she had said more to herself. She knew that their decision was made in part to be far away from her. Now standing and looking out at sea, Shepard could hear Kirrahe approaching.

"To raise a hand when it could mean execution," the salarian started as he walked up and stood next to her, "one must believe … truly believe in the act."

"One must," Shepard answered, still looking out at the setting sun. She did not know if he was referring to what her own men had done to her or what she had done to one of his men. It really didn't matter. A part of her would have embraced death at that moment … she was so tired. Tired of the fight. Tired of appearing strong. If the salarian had pulled out a weapon, she might have even begged him to pull the trigger. To stop the visions, the race, the madness.

"What will you do now?" Kirrahe asked, sucking on what appeared to be a mint leaf.

"Return to the Arcturus Station for now," Shepard answered, "The Normandy needs a little TLC and my crew needs time to recharge ... to heal."

"Would it be possible to have you drop us off at Eletania on your way?" Kirrahe asked as he offered her a leaf from his pouch.

"Eletania?" Shepard hated that planet and knew that if she said yes it would also mean hiding Wrex. How does one hide a one-ton truck?

"We have offices in Wetrot," he answered, still holding out the leaf. "I need to update our Councilor as soon as possible."

Shepard eyed the leaf suspiciously as she took it from the salarian, "I'll let my executive officer know that you will be boarding with your team … what is left."

"We have both lost good and honorable comrades today," Kirrrahe said. "Make sure that their deaths were not in vain."

Shepard nodded as she put the leaf to her nose, "What is this?"

"Sanpa," Kirrahe answered. "It helps with … loss."

"Does it?" Shepard looked at Kirrahe. The plant looked like mint but smelled like manure. She was not sure if she should put it in her mouth no matter what it helped with. She was not making a John Waters film … crap was not on her things to eat.

"It is not for the nose," he said between his laughter as he took the leaf from his mouth and placed it back in. "It is for the mouth."

"Does it taste like it smells?" Shepard asked, not really trusting the salarian.

"Worse," Kirrahe answered, his laughter slowly fading.

"Well, thanks," she said, handing it back to him. "I'll stick to my whiskey."

"Are you sure?" Kirrahe asked, looking at it in her hand.

"I'm sure," Shepard answered, placing it back into his hand. "Give it to Pvt. Satake … He would probably give it a try."

As Kirrahe went away, Shepard turned back to face the sea. With the world quiet, if only for the moment, Shepard began to focus on a song playing back at camp. Donna Summer was singing _Heaven Knows_ and Shepard began to think of Ashley. Even at the end, she was trying to protect Shepard. All of them were. Why? Didn't they know that they were more important than her? She had failed them all … hadn't she? Especially Ash. The feelings of unworthiness and loss of just one more friend made Shepard break down.

The sound of Shepard's crying made Tali, who had stayed semi-hidden when Shepard appeared from the tent, race towards her. "Commander?" Tali called out as Shepard had her back to her.

Shepard waved the quarian away as the tears refused to stop falling. This was not how she wanted to be seen by the quarian … by anyone. She had left her Chief to die. No. She had left her friend to die. She should have been stronger and dropped Kaidan when he had raised a hand against her. Why hadn't she? Had she let him take control? The tears, bitter and angry, fell even harder as breathing became painful. Shepard, unable to get control, moved away from the others. Never one to share her grief she sought out the safety of the jungle. Hidden away she dropped to her knees and let her grief come out.

Tali, hidden from sight, watched as the woman she had come to admire break down. She wanted to go to her. To comfort her. But she knew that the Commander would have felt violated … this was her private grief. The quarians understood the need for privacy. So Tali remained in the shadows as she made sure that no one else approached the lost soul in the sand.


	93. The Final Nail Written

_Dear Mrs. Williams,_

_It is with a heavy heart that I send you this letter regarding the death of your eldest daughter, Gunnery Chief Ashley M. Williams. There are no words that can express the loss that we of the SSV Normandy feel at her sacrifice of life to protect others. She touched all of our lives with her strength, her sense of fairness, spiritual guidance and her ability to give voice to others when needed._

_I was blessed to have shared many conversations with your daughter about her love for you and her sisters. The nights that she recited poetry and shared spiritual truths will always remain treasured memories of mine and I want you to know that she thought of you in all things. If God were to bless me with a daughter of my own, I could only hope that she had half your daughter's courage and honor._

_But even in our despair, we recognize that it pales in comparison to the grief it will cause you, her sisters and her family upon receiving this letter. Serving in the Alliance we understand that the lives of our brothers and sisters are put on the line to save others. To ensure that humanity is protected against the threats even if it means our own death. Ashley not only understood that type of sacrifice, but she was an example of what a soldier should be when those sacrifices are faced. _

_The tragic truth is that it is not just fellow soldiers that fall and are taken from us, but that they are sons and daughters who are taken from the lives of their parents. In her final moments, this truth was not lost on your daughter. Ashley's last words and concern were not on what she was about to face, or the loss of her on life, but on what she held most dear. You. She made us promise to tell you that she loved you and I am honored to see that her last wish is fulfilled. Now, even in death, your daughter has the ability to move and guide me. Such is the power of her memory._

_We were honored to have served with your daughter, our sister, in life; we wish to honor her memory in death. May Christ bless you and the Holy Spirit bestow upon you and your family comfort in this dark time of loss. _

_" For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 KJV_

_Respectfully yours,_

_Elizabeth W. Shepard_

_Cdr., Alliance Navy_

Shepard stared at the screen, all lights dimmed in her cabin except over her desk and the door. Evanescence's _Hello_ was playing softly on her iMuse, ice melting in her tumbler and her eyes red. How many times had she reread the letter? A letter that she painstakingly crafted for the mother of her lost friend? How many times had her finger hovered over the send button? She knew that with just one touch … the lives of Ashley's family would change forever. That somewhere there was a mother, unaware that her oldest daughter was gone forever from her embrace.

Captain Anderson would be delivering the letter personally to Ashley's mother and now that all of the necessary Alliance paperwork was completed and submitted … this was the final nail. Shepard reached over and finished off the whiskey in the tumbler. This letter that she was looking at was not just words and spaces. It was a messenger of death that would break a mother's heart. Shepard thought of her own mother and she wondered why it could have not been her instead of Ashley. Shepard's mother was gone and her faith said that she was in Heaven waiting on her. Shepard looked at the image of her mother on the desk and smiled. Just the thought of Hannah Shepard, the preacher woman, waiting for her always gave her comfort.

"You too, pops," she added, looking over at him laughing as he hugged her mother. "Don't think that I've forgotten you ... if only you were here to go on a prison break with me. I hear that gramps bought a new fishing boat. Aaron says that he named it the Mindoir Gale."

Shepard rubbed her eyes and then her finger once again floated above the send button and with a heavy heart she sent the letter off to Anderson as she recited, "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word."

* * *

><p>Kaidan was drying off after taking a much needed shower as Neil Diamond's <em>God Only Knows<em> played in the other room. He had skipped dinner not because he wasn't hungry ... he was. Famished. But it would have brought him too close to the Captain's quarters. Too close to the Commander. Shepard had not spoken to him when the team returned to the STG base carrying Chakwas and Rentola. Instead, she focused on the doctor and then quickly thereafter returned to the Normandy. Kaidan figured that she wanted to see that Wrex and the artifact were out of sight before Captain Kirrahe's team was received onboard … The artifact was one thing, but where does one hide a krogan?

As he contemplated where Wrex could have been hidden on the Normandy, there was a knock on his door. His heart jumped, worried that it was the Commander. As he put on a pair of underwear and pants he nervously asked who was there.

"It's me," Joker answered, on the other side. "With all these grey frogs running around … open up."

Kaidan let him in and as Joker took a seat at his desk, he sat down on his bunk. "How is the crew on the bridge taking this?"

"Lowe is pretty shaken up," Joker answered, taking off his cap. "Her and Williams got pretty close … but she's tough. Don't tell her I said that, though. Talitha though ... Nurse Draven was her cousin. Lots of crying on the bridge ... shit."

Kaidan nodded and leaned back on his pillow, "I screwed up."

Joker watched as Kaidan placed his arm over his eyes, hiding his grief as Diamond's _Once In A While_ began. Joker knew that those who placed their boots on the ground had seen things that he would never see sitting on the bridge. The eyes of the returning soldier said that they had went to hell and while he may appear to not understand as he cracked jokes and loudly proclaimed, "Without me, where would they be?" … their eyes told him that he would never know their suffering.

As the song continued with Kaidan fighting his pain, Joker looked over at a photo of a group of them taken just four months prior at the Aircraft 1512. Ash was hanging on Kaidan while Joker's friend Wang was giving him rabbit ears.

"Kaidan," Joker said, "I know it couldn't have been easy for you down there ... Allie told me and Chase what happened. Making the call to stop the Commander … to leave Ash … I just don't know if I could have done it."

Kaidan gave no response. He had hoped that what had happened in the balloon had remained in the balloon … but ... he also knew that nothing ever remained hidden. He had willfully struck his Commanding Officer and this was not going to go well with the Alliance brass. Obedience along with not attacking your commanding officer was part of what kept the Alliance together. How could she not make him an example? What was she planning? Why wasn't he already in the brig? His stomach tightened.

"I mean … you choked the Commander?" Joker still could not believe that Kaidan had the balls to take her on … or that he survived. "Choked her," he said again as he put his hands around an imaginary neck. "I bet she is writing all the different ways that she is going to kill you ... unless she just hands you back to the Alliance and let's them court-martial you … or worse. I mean … you choked her! El choko … chocatta! Chokorino!"

"Joker!" Kaidan removed his arm and looked over at the pilot.

"Allie also told us that had you not done that," Joker mouthed the word _chokertonto_ before he picked up _The Art Of Happiness_ book on the desk and, thumbing through it, continued, "none of you would have made it out … in my book, you saved her."

"Saved her," Kaidan looked up at the ceiling. "I don't think she will see it that way."

"Well you did choke her," Joker reminded him yet again.

Kaidan shook his head before putting his pillow over his own face.

"She's probably sharpening her knife as we speak," Joker put the book down, "If only after choking her you had saved Ash ... you know, choked her and drug her ass into the balloon ... I mean, to have left her there was … just … man."

Kaidan sat up in anger, "Don't you think that if I could have saved her …" his words choked off.

"I'm not blaming you," Joker told him, putting his hat back on. "I'm just … it's hard you know."

Both men looked at the photo with Ash in it and there was silence except for Neil Diamond.

* * *

><p>"Do you need anything else, Commander?" Henry Lawry asked as he placed the dinner tray on her table.<p>

"No, thank you," Shepard smiled as she picked up _The Shunning_ from her bed and walked over to the table.

"If you need anything," her service chief began.

"Henry," Shepard cut in as she took her seat.

"Ma'am?" Henry hated to see her so tired and alone.

"How are the others taking the recent deaths?" Shepard asked. Yes, she had checked in, comforted … but she knew that many would try and appear strong in front of her. She needed to know how they were when she was not present. And she trusted Henry to be honest.

"Hard," Henry answered as she expected. "But they will pull together … already they are talking about the different ways that you are probably going to kill that turian."

Shepard frowned as she placed the dinner napkin on her lap, "… and you?"

"I said by a knife to the gut," Henry answered.

"No," Shepard sighed. "I meant ... how are you doing?"

"I'll miss Chief Williams," He said, pouring her tea just to keep busy. "No one could clean a table like her … and that mouth. That girl could sass. I'll miss it, though."

Shepard looked over at her boxing gloves and her breath caught. How many times had they boxed? Ash had made her earn every win ... the hard way. "Thank you, Henry."

As the old man headed for the exit, Shepard looked at her meal, then her book and finally on the item that she had Wrex bring back. She had him place it carefully on the coffee table and now looking at it she was not sure what she should do with it.

"If you don't mind me asking," Henry said at the door. "How are you, Commander?"

Shepard smiled and assured him that she was fine … well, as fine as someone could be who had just lost three crewmen and a chance to kill the enemy. But there would be time for self-pity, mourning and even anger later. She had to focus on what mattered now … finding Saren again and this time not failing to stop him.

* * *

><p>Hours in and the ship was on course to Eletania, the salarians were bunked down, and the possessions of the deceased were properly inventoried, laundered and ready to be handed off when they reached the Arc. With the loss of Ashley, Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven, the ship was much more quiet and somber than usual. The medbay was also filled with injured salarians as Dr. Chakwas and her staff was doing their best, despite their own internal losses.<p>

Pressly took one more look at the galactic map and then stepped off the rock. It had been a busy day and as he passed by a group of his men he heard Ash's name whispered in conversation. It was always hard losing soldiers out in the field … it only reminded those who only served aboard the ship, the risks that their land counterparts took every time they left it.

It was also why Pressly thought that Shepard should not join the teams but remain on board. A Captain of an Alliance ship did not normally … hell, almost never … go on land missions. He himself had never seen battle except in the air. Why Shepard would not follow his advice troubled him. But even if it bothered him and was not the norm, he protected her as best as he could from inside the Normandy. Before every mission, unbeknownst to Shepard, he would threaten men like Kaidan and Girard to watch over her or they would answer to him. Then there was the pacing. Whenever she was off on a mission he paced … a lot. He would also worry that he would forget something, that when she returned the ship would not be in order.

Having her back on the ship now made him breathe easier if not lighter. Heading down to the mess hall, he was glad to see both Adams and Chakwas at the Officer's table. The two were talking about the recent losses as he put his plate down next to Chakwas' and took a seat.

"Karin, it's not your fault," Adams was in the middle of saying. "We all know the risks serving in the Alliance."

"But if I had not gone to Jai," Chakwas said, referring to Dr. Jamin Bakari. "I talked him into coming back, Greg … I should have let him stay on the Arc."

"Karin," Adams took her hand. "Think of all the soldiers … the civilians … that he helped since re-joining. How many people did he save? Would you have sacrificed them?"

"Of course not," Chakwas said, pulling her hands away from his and looking over at Pressly. "How are you holding up, Charlie?"

"Don't worry about me," He said with a smile. "I'm just glad to see you up and about."

Chakwas, needing medical attention herself, had been carried onboard by Lt. Girard and was finally able to stand after being tended to in the medbay by her head nurse. "Mei should have been a physician," Chakwas said, patting her right leg. "I think my injuries were more shock related … but I'm fine now."

"Have you seen the Commander?" Adams asked Pressly. "How is she?"

"You know the Commander," Pressly answered, taking a drink of his coffee. "She let a few of the others cry on her shoulder, updated me on our destination, told me to hide a krogan and then went to her cabin."

"Hide a krogan?" Adams almost spit out his coffee.

Pressly looked around to make sure that no salarian was around, "Shhh. No one can know that Wrex is onboard … I shouldn't have said anything."

"But why?" Adams asked, wiping his chin.

"She didn't say," Pressly answered, taking a bite of his garlic cheese potatoes.

"So?" Chakwas loved a mystery. "Col. Mustard with a candlestick … in what room?"

"Huh?" Pressly looked over at her.

"Where did you hide him?" Adams asked, both he and Chakwas moving closer to Pressly.

"Oh," Pressly put down his fork and also leaned in. "The conference room … no one should have a need to go in there. And Mei said that his injuries could be tended there as well. Those krogan are made of stout stuff. I'd hate to fight one. Reminds me of a German girl I dated in my youth."

"Okay," Chakwas put her hand on Pressly's mouth. "I'm afraid to hear more."

"Speaking of conference room," Adams added. "How did the call go with Dr. T'Soni? Is the Commander going to see if that beacon works?"

Pressly dropped his fork. "I completely forgot," he said. "With everything going on … I … I … excuse me."

"Wait!" Chakwas pulled him back down. "What beacon?"

Chakwas listened as the two men told her about the asari's earlier communication and she asked that Pressly let her tell the Commander. "I need to check in on her, anyway. It will give me a good excuse."

"I couldn't ask you to do that," Pressly said. "I should have sent the message while she was on Virmire … Maybe I'm too old for this job."

"Nonsense," Chakwas patted him on the shoulder. "Without us the kids would be running around here drunk, half naked and god only knows what else. They need us wise and more mature souls to help keep them on track."

"Without Greg there would be nothing to get drunk on," Pressly laughed, looking at Adams.

"First off," Adams defended himself, "… no respectable ship has ever gone without a still."

Chakwas and Pressly waited for more but Adams went back to eating.

"Ok?" Pressly stopped Adams' hand from placing another fork of roast beef into his mouth.

"Ok what?" Adams responded, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

"And?" Chakwas seconded, a brow raised.

"What?" Adams looked at the two, confused.

"You said first off," Pressly explained. "So what is the second off?"

"Or third off?" Chakwas teased.

"Did I?" Adams looked at the two, dumbfounded.

Chakwas shook her head, a small laugh escaping her lips, "Sometimes Greg … I don't know what to think of you."

"You really don't mind telling her?" Pressly asked as Chakwas stood and smiled over at Henry.

"No," Chakwas, still smiling, said as she looked down at him. "You finish your meal … I'll go tell the Commander."

* * *

><p>Liara yawned as she moved away from the table and once at a safe distance stretched. Always extra careful around artifacts, Liara then headed over to her little makeshift chair and table and took a sip of her sitruuna. It was cold but she did not want to stop looking at the scrolls just to warm up the kettle. Liara had never seen scrolls like these ... she did not even know what type of material they were. A blank piece had been removed and was now being analyzed by Professor Henell on the main floor above them.<p>

The scroll that had caught Liara's attention contained what appeared to be schematics of a … a … a … she had no idea. Then there was the language. It was also unlike anything she or anyone else on the team had seen. Just touching the paper caused her stomach to flutter. What secrets were hidden right in front of her eyes?

Returning to the scroll, she was so focused on the mystery that she failed to recognize the music playing as she requested Kryter to "have that music turned down. I need to concentrate."

"Of course," He said, turning off Captain and Tennille's _Love Will Keep Us Together_.

"You should get some rest," She told him as she looked closer at the writing.

"I slept," He answered, not surprised that she failed to notice his hour long absence.

"Did you?" She asked, eyes never leaving the scroll.

"Would you like me to get you a new pot of sitruuna?" Kryter asked, shaking the almost empty pot.

"Does this look like a type of … hydraulics system to you?" Liara asked, looking even closer at a section of the scroll.

"That would be both unexpected and disappointing," Kryter said, standing up on a stool and looking at the scroll. "Let me have a look."

As they debated on what they were looking at, a salarian from the comm. tent came into the room and informed Liara that she had a call from the SSV Normandy waiting on the line. Liara, not wanting to appear too excited, carefully put the scroll back into its container, then checked her appearance as nonchalantly as she could in her compact mirror and then entered the comm. area all under the watchful eye of Kryter.

"Good evening, Dr. T'Soni," Shepard said as Liara came into view. "Or is it good morning there?"

"Commander," Liara smiled, putting her hands behind her back. "It's almost morning here."

"Have you slept?" Shepard asked, "Or have you just sat looking at this beacon of mine?"

"Your beacon?" Liara gave a slight giggle, "I have slept … and we discovered other items for me to look at besides your beacon."

"I see," Shepard wanted to ask how she was … if she had thought of her … but with Wrex and Chakwas in the conference room … "Oh, before you start telling me what a horrid person Dr. Chakwas or Wrex is … please note that they are here with me. Listening ever so intently to find fault with you."

"How is everyone?" Liara asked smiling as Chakwas came into view, while Wrex chose to remain in his spot off-camera.

"Missing your presence on the Normandy," Chakwas answered, laughing at Shepard's introduction. "What have you found?"

As Liara began to describe the scrolls, how she had never heard of these types being discovered before, what types of items they normally see, when they might have been created, and so on … Shepard laughed, "One would think that you found a scientist's form of porn."

"What?" Liara did not remember mentioning the drawings on some of the bowls. How did Shepard know that there was artwork found that was questionable? "The positions may … oh, you were not serious … were you?"

Shepard began to laugh as Chakwas hit her in the arm, "Stop harassing Dr. T'Soni."

"I'm sorry," Shepard grinned. "Can you send me drawings of those … positions?"

Liara seemed to blush which caused Shepard to break out in laughter as Chakwas pushed Shepard out of the camera's view, "Overlook the Commander. It has been a long day, Dr. T'Soni. She appears to have lost all of her senses at the moment. Will these other items help us as well?"

"I am not sure," Liara answered, frustrated at Shepard's behavior and also at not being able to really talk with her. She wanted, needed, to ask Shepard how she really was. Despite her laughter and teasing, Liara worried. She worried that the Commander was pushing herself too hard, worried that there was no one to make sure that she was getting enough rest … and worried that Shepard had not thought of her. But they were not alone on either side so her words had to be censored … if not her thoughts.

"Maybe we will know more by the time they arrive?" Kryter could be heard to say off-camera.

"Possible," Liara said to him and then back at Chakwas, "The Normandy … the Commander is coming?"

"Yes," Shepard answered, wiping her eyes and reappearing on camera. "… But I have a stop to make before I get there."

Liara smiled at the Commander's image reappearing, "Navigator Pressly said that you were on a mission. Is it going well?"

Shepard's own smile faded and she looked away for a minute.

"Commander?" Liara could see that something had gone wrong.

Chakwas' image moved out of sight and Shepard turned to face her, a false but charming smile on her face, "Bad guys died … good guys won … mission completed."

Liara knew that Shepard was not being honest with her. Even with Shepard smiling with her laughing green eyes, Liara was not going to be fooled. "_What is she not telling me?_" Liara asked in Wrex's old tongue.

"_Death of a friend and the pain it has caused her_," was his response off-camera.

"Stop it!" Shepard hated not understanding conversations … especially ones that she suspected were about her, "What are you two talking about?"

"How humans can be so ignorant," Wrex answered without a hint of humor.

"Is that so?" Shepard knew that she was not being told the truth.

"Do you really think this beacon is the same as the one on Eden Prime?" Chakwas asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

"I will not be sure until the Commander is here," Liara answered, wishing that Shepard was there now. _Who had died?_ Liara wondered. "But that is my hope. If it contains the message … the information in its entirety … we might solve what the conduit is … solve what Saren is hunting."

Shepard looked away, her mind racing. To find what Saren was looking for. To beat him to the prize. _Was it possible? Are we getting close to the end?_ God, she hoped so. Shepard looked over at Wrex who was standing next to her chair at the head of the table. _What the hell were you two talking about? What did Liara say to you?_

"Commander?" Liara needed Shepard to come to her. She needed to look into her eyes, maybe even touch her, even if just in passing. "How long before you arrive?"

Shepard seemed to be lost in her thoughts so Chakwas stood next to her, "Not too long, Liara."

"And you are well?" Liara asked, trying to hide her frustration at Shepard's distance ... at her inability to stay focused on the conversation.

"I've been better," Chakwas answered. "I think that the Commander and the rest of us need a vacation … a holiday from this hunt."

"Soon," Shepard said, coming back to the conversation at hand. "I promise. Once we visit Dr. T'Soni we will return to the Arc."

"And the thing?" Wrex asked, wanting it off the ship and away from all of them.

"The thing?" Both Liara and Chakwas asked in unison.

"Nothing," Shepard almost snapped as she looked at Wrex.

"Shepard?" Liara tried to push.

"Commander?" Chakwas, like most of those on the ship, knew nothing of the item brought back from Virmire.

"I said its nothing," Shepard told the two of them and then leaning back against the conference table she added,"So don't go speaking Wrexlatin on me, Liara."

Liara bit her tongue as Wrex gave a low growl, "Shepard."

"Wrex," Shepard growled back. "We will discuss this later."

"I must be returning to the medbay," Chakwas smiled at Liara, seeing the tension between the Commander and the krogan growing. "Take care of yourself, Liara. We will be there soon."

"I will be looking forward to seeing you," Liara said and then turned her attention back to Shepard. "Please tell me what this thing is that you are discussing?"

"I said its nothing," Shepard answered, growing even angrier. This is not how she imagined her first communication with Liara in months to go. She had hoped to find a little peace and here she was even more agitated and angry and … and … frustrated.

"Please forgive me," Liara could see that Shepard's mood was turning dark. "I did not mean to anger you."

"What?" Shepard took a deep breath and looked embarrassed. "No, I'm sorry. Really." Shepard wanted to tell her that she had lost Ash … that she was hurting … but not only was Wrex in the room; she didn't want Liara to see her weak.

"Thank you," Liara smiled. "It is late there … you need your rest. Please take care of yourself, Commander."

"Liara!" Shepard couldn't let her sign off that way.

"Yes, Commander," Liara seemed tired now.

Shepard looked over at Wrex who was getting ready to sleep. "I just …" Shepard hated not being able to speak her mind. Liara patiently waited as Shepard struggled to find something … anything to make their chat … personal. "I just … ugh," Shepard looked over at the tray still in the conference room and saw the container of honey … honey, "Pooh. I can't find my … Pooh shirt. Did it get mixed up with your stuff?"

Liara smiled, "Nope."

"Nope?" Shepard laughed. "When did you start saying the word nope?"

"When you started accusing me of stealing your shirts," Liara giggled back.

Shepard began to laugh as Liara disconnected from the call.

"Nope," Shepard laughed again as she exited the conference room, leaving Wrex to worry about the piece of Sovereign on the ship.


	94. Caravan of Souls

Heat. Wind. Dry. Clay.

Shepard was on her hands and knees looking out over a deep canyon before her ... A hot, dry wind blowing against her face, forcing her to close her eyes. She carefully turned over and sat on the ground, opening her eyes again as the wind blew her hair forward. It stung. She removed the shoelace from one of her hiking boots and used it to tie her hair back. Having tamed her hair, she looked around ... Nothing.

This place that was overlooking the canyon was flat with no trees, no water and no signs of life. Not even a cloud in the sky … just a hot, orange ball of fire beating down on her. The colors of this place ran from varying shades of yellow to orange to red to brown. All caked in clay. A dry, cracked clay that bore witness to the absence of water. How long had it been since it had rained here, Shepard had to wonder.

Still looking about, she thought of the old westerns that she had watched with her dad and a tumbleweed rolling by would have been a welcome sight. Even a buzzard flying overhead would be … well, sorta. Standing up, Shepard ripped the bottom portion of her shirt off so she could place it over her mouth and nose to combat the burn that came with breathing in this place. The hot wind made her feel as if she were standing in front of an open oven door and it was painful … already her lips were starting to feel cracked like the ground.

What was she going to do? There was nothing in all four directions … she didn't even know where she was. Just as she started to head north, or what she assumed was north, she saw something east … something off in the distance. She placed a hand over her eyes as she squinted, trying to get a better view, and it looked like movement. It was hard to tell. A part of her thought it might be a mirage as heat danced across the horizon. "Fake water," Shepard told herself at the sight of the heat shimmer.

Looking back at the distant movement she started to see shadows, then colors. Yes! It was people … or animals … or something coming towards her. Whatever it was … it appeared to be over a mile wide. Slowly the images became clearer bringing the sound of movement, voices, flags beating in the wind and the clanking of bells. As this mile wide exodus began to move past her, parallel to the canyon, she did not recognize any of the species or their languages. She saw no humans, turians, asari, krogan, salarian, elcor or any other alien of her worlds. They were all unknown and completely foreign.

There seemed to be no end to the caravan of souls passing in front of her … So many different looking creatures. Some species were bare while others were covered head to toe. These creatures, the styles of dress, music, language, sounds and smells were without number. There were so many new types of faces, builds, even voices that she was having a hard time taking it all in. But even in her confusion, she knew that they were rejoicing … that these creatures were happy.

"Judah and Israel were as numerous as the sand that is on the seashore in abundance; they were eating and drinking and rejoicing," Shepard recited. She began to smile and was just about to join the caravan when a sound rumbled from the heavens. A sound so loud, so terrifying, that she fell to the ground with her hands over her ears.

As the sound repeated, Shepard cried out and was shocked to see that she was the only one cowering. The others continued moving forward … moving towards the sound. "No!" She cried, standing up despite her fear and grabbing randomly at those passing by. "Stop! Can't you hear that? Stop!"

Her cries fell on deaf ears as the creatures, appearing so unaware to where they were heading, kept moving … kept rejoicing … kept marching onward. Shepard, her skin crawling, continued to try and stop them as the sounds to the west grew louder and more frequent. "Can't you hear that?" She cried out, grabbing at them as they passed by her.

Looking again to the west, her heart raced as she saw three ships coming down from the sky.

"Oh, god! Please! Stop!" She screamed, grabbing yet another creature and still failing to save even one.

"But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear," someone said behind her. Shepard spun around to see what appeared to be a human in a grey robe, his face hidden behind the hood. The hem of his garment had pieces of the red clay staining it, his sash had an emblem attached that she had never seen before ... The symbol, ॐ, appeared to be made of copper and the stranger was clutching it to his stomach.

"You're human?" She asked, moving towards him.

He held up his free hand, finger tips black … metallic, and told her to not come any closer. "You should not be here."

"Where is here?" Shepard asked, just as the ground below her quaked.

The stranger lowered his hood and revealed what appeared to be a man bound in a mask of steel. Pieces of his flesh tore through where it could … as weeds poking out through cracked cement. The horror of it causing Shepard to look away, if only momentarily. One of his eyes was rolling wildly about in its socket while the other focused intently on her. "Where? Where you should not be."

Shepard looked at the emblem to avoid looking at his face and hearing that horrid sound again off in the distance, asked the stranger, "Can't you stop them? Why can't they hear them?"

The stranger looked down at the emblem, touching it with his metal fingertips again as he answered, "They never see. They never stop! And their blindness … the deafness … is their destruction."

Shepard looked towards the direction of the sounds that made her teeth ache, her skin crawl and her stomach tighten … sounds that she could only describe as foghorns twisted and alive … talking to one another. Communicating. "Why are they killing them?"

The sky had now blackened with ships like the one on Eden Prime and was bringing destruction unlike anything she had ever seen before. She watched, mouth agape, as they swept across the landscape annihilating everything in its path. The stranger said nothing as he placed the hood back over his imprisoned head and cut his wrist with the emblem.

Shepard turned to see him bleeding but before she could ask why he had done that, he pointed off towards the canyon. Off in the distance there were three rooks flying in a circle. As Shepard looked at them confused, the stranger quoted lines from an 1834 poem, "It is an ancient Mariner, and he stoppeth one of three. 'By thy long grey beard and glittering eye, now wherefore stopp'st thou me?"

"I don't understand," Shepard told him. "Who are you? What does that even mean?"

The hooded man did not answer right away … he waited until the rooks had disappeared down into the canyon and then looked over at Shepard, "I am called Metentis."

"Metentis?" Shepard looked behind her at the creatures walking blindly to their death and asked him to help. "Where are we? How do we stop those things?"

"You must remember what you have seen here," The stranger bent down and began writing on the ground in his blood. Shepard could not read the words but she had seen those types of letters before … but where? Her mind seemed to be in a fog. "You must ask it the right questions … not waste this moment … and you must wake. Do not stay here, like me."

Shepard pulled the cloth tighter around her nose as the smell of burning flesh began to fill her nostrils.

The stranger stood back up, "Listen but do not believe … your body is not here. This is real but not real. You must wake."

"Wake?" Shepard looked around. "What are you talking about?"

The stranger gave a groan as if in great pain, "You do not see."

"See what?" Shepard was becoming frustrated and angry. "What is there to see if I cannot save these creatures from detruction?"

"You cannot save what is no longer," He answered. "You cannot save shadows of what once was. They were cleansed from the side of the living. So many wiped away … nothing left of them."

Shepard fought back the tears as she looked away from him and back towards the destruction, "No! We must do something!"

Silence.

Shepard turned around and thought she saw a glimpse of the stranger disappearing over the side of the cliff. Had he just jumped? Shepard ran towards the edge of the canyon only to stop dead in her tracks. A blast of hot, humid air pushed Shepard back as Sovereign began to rise up from the deep. "Oh, shit," Shepard whispered.

"Rudimentary creature of blood and flesh," the words vibrated through her as the ship began to speak.

Shepard's legs gave out as she watched the ship slowly rise up from the canyon. In that moment, it was as if a veil had been removed from her mind. Shepard realized what the stranger was trying to tell her. She was not awake. Shepard's mind raced trying to remember where she was before here but … nothing.

"You touch my mind," It told her, "fumbling in ignorance ... Incapable of understanding."

"Is this … all of this … is this your doing?" She asked, still trying to remember where she had come from.

Sovereign came to a stop as he cleared the cliff; "There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own struggles … places that you cannot even imagine. Like this place, I am beyond your comprehension."

"Who are you?" Shepard asked, clay starting to kick up around her as the caravan started to move faster towards their destruction.

"I am Sovereign," It responded over the dark sounds from other reapers off in the distance.

Shepard felt her heart race, sweat break out all over her body, as she realized that Sovereign wasn't just some reaper ship that Saren had found. _This thing is an actual reaper_.

"Reaper?" He responded, showing that he was part of her thoughts now … listening to her mind. "A name created by the previous cycle to give voice to their destruction."

"If not reapers," Shepard said, her voice breaking as her throat began to dry up. "Then what are you called?"

"Names, descriptions, explanations …" Sovereign answered, "... as you are removed from existence, what you call us is irrelevant. What you think has no meaning. We simply are. And you are not."

"No," Shepard willed herself to stand up, still holding the cloth to her nose as she squinted against the smoke. "I refuse to accept that."

"Accept or reject does not change what will be," Sovereign told her. "You wither and die. We are eternal. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."

"Nothing is without weakness," Shepard moved closer to the reaper, "Nothing. I'll gather an army and defeat you."

"Confidence born of ignorance," Sovereign said, as the sounds of blades being sharpened were heard behind Shepard. "The cycle cannot be broken."

"Cycle?" Shepard looked at the creatures behind her, towards the sound of grindstones turning. She did not see where the sound was coming from but knew that it was somewhere behind the sea of these nations. _All of these civilizations … gone?_

"Yes, gone," The stranger had returned and was just a few feet from her. "The pattern always repeating … repeating …. repeating ... repeating more times than you can fathom."

"Civilizations rise, evolve, advance," Sovereign said as Shepard watched hooded men, like Metentis, rise up out of the cracked clay with scythes in their hands … "And at the apex of their glory …" the blades began to swing … "they are extinguished."

"Always repeating," the stranger cried as bits of bodies, blood, clothes was flung towards them.

"Please let me wake!" Shepard cried out as she turned her back to the destruction and hid her face.

"Each cycle allowed to reach its final season," the reaper went on as the destruction, the slaughter of the blades, continued. "You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."

"Harvest time," the stranger moaned as he looked at the scythe now in his own hand.

"You must want something," Shepard glared up at the reaper, ignoring the mutilation all around her now.

"Want?" The stranger cried, slowly walking towards the harvest with his scythe starting to swing.

"Yes, want!" Shepard said, ignoring the stranger and still glaring at Sovereign. "What is it? Slaves? Resources? Worship? What?"

"My kind transcends your very understanding," Was the response as the scythes swung faster behind her. "You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence."

"You must wake!" The stranger yelled as he brought down innocents with his scythe.

Shepard wanted nothing more than to wake up, but she was powerless. Just as he seem to be powerless in his acts of harvesting. They were both stuck in this madness. But even as she felt the panic building, she hoped that she might be able to learn something here ... maybe even a weakness she could take advantage of. So she turned her mind off the massacre happening just next to her and listened closely to Sovereign. Hoping that she might ask the right question that would help her. "Where do you come from? Who are your makers?"

"We have no beginning," Sovereign answered. "We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure."

"We?" Shepard slipped on the pieces beneath her feet but it didn't stop her. "Where are the others?"

"Waiting," Sovereign answered. "The time of hibernation is over. The awakening and harvesting to begin. Your civilization ending. The season has ended and our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape what is to be."

"No escape!" The stranger said as his blade tore into her arm. "You must wake up … or remain here!"

Shepard screamed as she stumbled away from his advances. "Stop!"

The stranger moaned that there was no hope, "You must remember … you must leave this place."

The blade tore into her leg as she continued to back away and now in desperation, Shepard turned to run. She screamed as she realized much too late how close to the edge she was. As she felt herself fall over the side, she screamed even louder, grabbing at the air.

"Wake up!" The stranger could be heard yelling from above. "You must wake up!"

* * *

><p>The Afterlife was crowded as usual; bodies pressed up against each other, the sounds of Aspasia's latest song, <em>Drifting<em>, inspiring seductions on the main dance floor as asari moved sensuously above them. Tela Vasir looked up at one of the dancers and finished her drink. She knew that every one of those swinging asses up there had earned their place by servicing the owner.

"Aria will see you now," the batarian bodyguard told her. She hated Aria T'Loak but understood that sometimes the balance was held together by an iron fist … or at least in the Terminus Systems. People like Aria kept that balance. Tela just wished that the krogan who use to control Omega was still in power. Granted, Aria had brought a type of stability to the rock that had not existed before, but the krogan could be manipulated. Aria could not.

As Tela began walking up the steps, a much younger asari smiled as she passed by her. The batarian could be heard calling her Liselle and Tela looked back at her. She knew that Aria's only daughter was named Liselle and if needed, the young asari might come in handy.

"Bray, the bodies are in the alley," Liselle was heard to say to the batarian bodyguard that was accompanying Tela up the stairs. "See that they are disposed of."

Tela couldn't help but smile ... like mother, like daughter. Her thoughts were brought back to why she was there as Aria came into view. "Thank you for seeing me," Tela said to Aria, who slowly turned around.

"What is it you need, SpecTRe?" Aria had no desire to exchange pleasantries.

"I have come regarding a recent shipment delivered here," Tela said, wishing that she did not need Aria's help. But Aria had helped the agency a few times, seeing the advantages for her own power struggle no doubt, so Tela just smiled.

"Shipments?" Aria's eyes narrowed as she took her usual place on the couch.

"May I?" Tela motioned to the seat to Aria's right.

"No," Aria answered, looking the SpecTRe up and down. "Just tell me about this shipment, why you are here … and then go."

Tela, despite her increasing hatred of Aria, overlooked the way that she was being treated. Instead she kept her mind on her mission and what was really important ... stopping the growing flesh trade. "I followed a shipment of flesh from Wetrot to one of your ports."

"Did you?" Aria seemed unimpressed. "And what does this have to do with me, SpecTRe?"

Tela noticed that Bray had moved back as he made way for other guards to move in behind her. Three batarians and a turian were nothing against her and looking down at Aria she caught a smile. Both of them knew that the only threats in that mezzanine were the two asari … "You can confiscate the ship, the goods and the documents."

"And why should I do that?" Aria asked, debating on having this asari fight off her guards. Oh, she knew that the fight would be quick and the asari would be the only one left standing … but Aria had not seen one of her kind battle in a long time.

"It would help the Council," Tela answered, hoping that she would not have to prove her fighting skills. "For Thessia."

"The Council," Aria spit the word out and then thought of Councilor Tevos who represented their people. "And I should do this for Thessia as well? Thessia?"

Tela heard the disgust in Aria's voice as she said their home world and it angered her. She moved closer to Aria and in the old language of Serrice, reprimanded her … "_Would you dishonor Thessia in front of these unworthy pidias?_"

The sound of one of their sacred tongues made Aria stand up and with a look of complete disgust step just inches Tela. The two asari standing just inches apart, made the guards nervous as Aria spoke to Tela in the tongue that they did not understand. "_As you would try and cuckold me in front of my men with the Council?_"

"_That was not my intent_," Tela said, trying to avoid a confrontation that she wasn't sure she could win. She had heard stories about the pirate queen of Omega.

"_Wasn't it_?", Aria asked as she looked at Tela Vasir, knowing that she could easily defeat her but also recognizing that there would be nothing gained. The SpecTRe was here in the name of the Council, or more specifically, the asari Councilor. Aria could care less about the other species pretending to have power on the Citadel.

"_One of these goods may impact Thessia's future_," Tela confided.

Aria could see that the SpecTRe was being truthful. Now that the SpecTRe had invoked the name of Thessia it put Aria on notice. To turn Tela away without assisting her could mean repercussions from the Chamber of Twenty-Two. Nothing scared Aria except those Matriarchs … every asari feared them.

"What would you require?" Tela asked in the language that those around them would understand. Tela knew that she had placed Aria in a position that required her to help, but she also recognized that she needed to make Aria look in control of the situation. Why make enemies needlessly, especially ones that might be needed again sometime in the future.

"Want?" Aria smiled, understanding what Tela was doing.

"Yes," Tela nodded. "What do you want in exchange for helping me?"

Tela and those around them watched as Aria looked out the dance floor, contemplating the question.

* * *

><p>The octahedron shaped black metal piece was encased and placed in front of Shepard's chair with Kaidan, Wrex and Garrus staring at it. They had been brought together shortly after the Commander had crawled out of that dream … or vision … or whatever it was. Shepard was looking at the Normandy time and trying to calculate how long she had been asleep ... but she couldn't even remember going to bed. It didn't really matter, she told herself. What mattered was how something else had taken control of her mind and not let go until she had made impact with the canyon floor. Had it tried to kill her? Was that even possible?<p>

"It was out of the case?" Kaidan asked, looking at the object as Wrex looked over at Shepard nodding.

"Why would someone risk sneaking into your cabin just to pull it out of the case?" Garrus asked.

Shepard had not told them of her dream, or the cuts on her body where the scythe had slashed her or the way that her muscles hurt as if she had hit the ground … hard. Though not as hard as in her dream, thank the gods.

"We should kill them all," Wrex said, now looking at the object as Shepard held her hands together under the table. She did not want the others to see how badly they were shaking.

"I will not kill the salarians because one of them is working for Saren," She told Wrex.

"They may not even be the ones responsible," Garrus added, moving farther away from the object.

"Let's hope they are," Kaidan responded, running a hand through his hair. "If it's one of us …"

"Shepard?" Wrex looked at the human as she coughed up blood into her hand.

Shepard shook her head as she felt the cut inside her mouth with her tongue. She must have bit the inside of her cheek in her sleep, she reasoned. Kaidan handed her a napkin and she placed it inside her mouth against the cut.

"How did you know that it was exposed?" Kaidan asked as he looked at the time … 0300 hours.

"I woke up thirsty," Shepard answered, omitting the rest.

"Did you?" Wrex looked at her suspiciously.

"Yes," Shepard cocked a brow, removing the napkin.

"So why are we here?" Garrus asked, wanting to go back to bed.

"I want this … thing off my ship," Shepard answered. There was no way that she was going back to sleep until she knew that it was far away from her.

"We could drop it off at Eletania," Kaidan suggested.

"No," Shepard looked over at Wrex, "We need a place where no one can ever find this … or even if someone did, they can't get to it."

"I know of a place," Wrex told her. "If given a shuttle, I can make sure that it is buried and forgotten."

Kaidan touched the case, "Shouldn't we give the Alliance …"

"No!" Shepard cut him off. "No one … not the Alliance, or the Council should be exposed to what this thing can do."

"And what can it do?" Garrus asked, now up to speed with Wrex on Shepard. She was hiding something.

"It doesn't matter," She answered, looking down at her shaking hand. "Kaidan, instruct Flight Officer Crosby to transport Wrex and the … thing … to the location that Wrex instructs him to."

"Where are you taking it?" Kaidan asked Wrex.

"No," Shepard stopped Wrex from answering. "Only Wrex and Crosby will know where this thing is buried … not even I want to know."

"How do we get Wrex to the shuttle without the STG seeing him?" Garrus asked, thinking of the salarians wandering the cargo area below.

"I'll manage it," Wrex answered as he picked up the artifact from the table.

"There is the service lift that the kitchen uses," Kaidan answered, standing up as well. "We'll get you safely to the shuttle … somehow."

Shepard watched as Wrex went to the exit and turned to look at her. "I know, I know," Shepard frowned at the silent krogan. "I should have listened."

"Do you need anything from me?" Garrus asked, feeling a little left out.

"No," Shepard answered, turning her attention to Kaidan. "But I think that Lt. Alenko needs to report to my cabin after Wrex is safely off."

Kaidan swallowed hard as he looked over at her and caught the steel in her eyes … it was time to pay the piper. "Yes, ma'am."


	95. Fedora for Hire

The satellite image of the destroyed Eldfell-Ashland Energy plant pleased Alana Solheim. Maybe a little too much. She looked down at her vintage Ashland mining factory cart and thought of the CEO, Jonah Ashland and what his response to this news would be. News that something belonging to him was gone … no longer his to control. Alana closed her eyes, yes, she was very pleased. She knew that his anger would be heard throughout the corporate headquarters despite the fact that EAE had abandoned the facility years previously. His rage would reach even the Citadel because Jonah Ashland hated things to be taken from him, even things he did not want.

"I think I might grow to appreciate you, Commander," Alana smiled as she shut off the image. "If only you were reporting to me … Your energies would be better spent than they are now." Trying to keep up with the human SpecTRe was nearly impossible and frustrating for Alana, who had hoped to stay ahead of her. Walking back to her desk, she turned up Bob Dylan's _Gotta Serve Somebody_ and ran her hands over the Georgia Blues. It was time to take her attention off of Shepard and review the Galileo Industries' quarterly earnings.

* * *

><p>Bronislaw Kowalski placed his grey fedora down on the bar in front of him as he took a seat. It had been a long journey from his home in Gdynia, Poland, to Nos Astra, Illium; A journey that he had at first rejected. He had not been off Earth since he had left the Alliance in 2176 and that was not by accident. He had planned on never leaving the cradle of humanity again for the rest of his life … "Give me the Earth below my feet," he would tell anyone who would listen. But the money being offered was just too much to ignore. So despite his vow of never leaving Earth again, here he was sitting in an Illium bar inside the Nos Astra port. <em>Never say never<em>, he thought to himself.

Looking at the vodka selections behind the bar, Kowalski was surprised to see Sobieski Vodka just a few feet from him, "_Dobry_." As he waved the asari bartender over he looked up to see a skyball match on and couldn't help but wish that he was watching a Buldogi match against the Gieksa instead. He pointed to the bottle of Sobieski and used his index and thumb to mime a shotglass. Kowalski then moved his carry-on luggage off the barstool next to him so that an asari could sit down. He smiled at her and then turned to down his recently arrived drink.

The asari, touching his hat, said something to him but he did not understand. He had never learned or purchased any alien languages for his translator so he looked at his hat, shrugged and said, "_Nie rozumiem_." He watched as the asari spoke to her companion and then touched his hat again. He shrugged again, still not understanding, and so she picked up the hat carefully and placed it in his lap. _Placing a hat on the bar must be unacceptable to them_; Kowalski reasoned and putting the hat on his head, apologized to them in Polish. The asari smiled and turned back to her companion leaving Kowalski to his drink and the skyball match. He was never comfortable being in a crowd of non-humans and this just re-confirmed that he was better among his own kind. At least to his way of thinking.

His nerves a little on edge from his lack of sleep, the up-coming appointment that could mean financial security and this recent mistake … Kowalski downed his vodka, ordered another and pulled out his pack of L&M cigarettes. _Just keep it together_, he told himself. _If you get this contract you can buy that dream home of Katrine's. _Kowalski looked over at the wall that displayed the current times to various locations and seeing the Nos Astra time knew that he would need to find a sky cab soon. He had the business holocard ready to show the driver and hoped that he … or she … could speak at least Anglish.

* * *

><p>"Is it that time already?" Alana looked up, startled as her executive secretary, Ms. Zimmer, entered with her late afternoon tea.<p>

"Yes," Ms. Zimmer smiled, placing the set carefully down on the table near the window. Ms. Zimmer always appeared in neatly pressed clothes, her hair pulled tightly back into a bun, makeup perfect and smelling of jasmines. Then there was her skin. It was flawless and reminded Alana of porcelain. Mokoto Zimmer was the same age and height as Alana … a mix of German, Jewish and Japanese. She was a fellow perfectionist that had a soft voice but a sharp mind. She made a perfect assistant to Alana Solheim and even if you could not really call them friends, she was Alana's only confidante.

"I need you to add Mr. Gerber to my schedule tomorrow," Alana said, getting up and stretching. "I am concerned at his increased spending."

"I can place him at ten in the morning," Ms. Zimmer said, knowing Alana's schedule by heart. "He has his usual employee meeting at that time … but that is the only time you have free."

"Ten it is," Alana agreed, sitting down in a seat next to the table. Her days were always busy with meetings, conference calls, R&D, reviews and employee issues within the Galileo Industries … not to mention the additional time that was filled monitoring the activities of the human SpecTRe. Not that she had very many updates of late. Her source that was serving on the Normandy had not checked in since heading to Virmire. The source had also not been able to provide her the reason that the Commander had went to Wetrot previously and now … Alana tapped her nails on the table as she looked out the window … She did not know why the EAE plant was destroyed or why Shepard had returned to Wetrot. Being in the blind greatly displeased her.

"The reservations for the Venustas Fashion Show tonight have been confirmed," Ms. Zimmer said as she adjusted the window shadings to cut down on the glare. "We have four seats in the front row and the skylimo will pick us up here at six … your gown is set to arrive shortly."

"Did you send Venustas the wine and flowers?" Alana asked, hoping that her choice of gifts impressed the asari designer.

"Yes," the secretary answered, "I had them hand delivered by Therese ... you know how they find her pleasing. I was also informed that Venustas prefers gardenias and had the flower choice changed to reflect that. I hope that you do not mind."

"Thank you," Alana appreciated her secretary's extra touches. "Maybe this year Venustas will have something Japanese inspired."

"I would prefer something more Messonian," Ms. Zimmer smiled as she poured Alana a cup of sitruuna. "The coastal designs are so lovely … I only wish that Messonia allowed outsiders."

"It would seem that the asari prefer to keep some things just to themselves," Alana noted.

"One day," Ms. Zimmer hoped.

"Give it time," Alana said, as Ms. Zimmer bowed and quietly left the office.

Alana put down her cup and opened up her netbook, slowly looking through her messages. Her eyes stopped on a communication from her agent on Wetrot dated a full three days prior … "Dammit," she would need to have the head of IT correct this occasional delay. Alana, a well-known multi-tasker, opened a window to write her message to the IT Manager for correction to the time delay and another window to read the message from Wetrot. As she typed away to her IT manager, she read the message informing her that Shepard had departed. The message also stated that the STG that had arrived with her had not returned to the Normandy but had left for Sur'Kesh on a different ship. Then he wished her a nice day. "Where did she go, you fool?"

Alana frustrated closed that message and seeing an e-mail from a source at the Arc, opened it and … her typing to the IT manager growing heavier, mirroring her impatience … she stopped. "Finally," Alana took a deep breath. According to this source, the flight schedule that the Normandy had forwarded to the Arc listed Aethoyner as her next planned destination.

"Aethoyner?" Alana did not understand why the Normandy would be heading for asari space. Pulling up a map of the planet, Alana began to look at its history, "What are you looking for, Shepard?"

"Ms. Solheim," Ms. Zimmer's voice interrupting her thoughts. "There is a Mr. Bronislaw Kowalski here to see you … he says that you are expecting him but he is not on your schedule. I show that you are to meet with the HR staff."

"Send him in," Alana said, standing up and pressing her dress down. "Reschedule the HR meeting for Thursday and there should be a delivery from Brisbane's Bakery."

"Thursday is full," Ms. Zimmer voice calmly explaining, "I will set it on Monday, if you approve."

"Monday is fine," Alana checked her makeup and then watched as a tall, dark-haired man in a grey business suit with a fedora in hand entered. His charcoal grey suit was Prada but Alana could see that it was second hand. It did not appear tailored to fit … but he still wore it well. She also noted that he was quite attractive but that he needed a shave and a manicure. A five o'clock shadow was starting to appear and his hands said he had been a common laborer ... She preferred clean shaven, white collar businessmen but looking at Kowalski ... she smiled and knew that she would make an exception for him.

"Ms. Alana Solheim," Ms. Zimmer, her words soft and almost musical began as she walked the gentleman towards her, "this is Mr. Bronislaw Kowalski."

"_Nice to meet you_," Alana said in Polish as she moved towards him, accentuating the sway in her hips and shook his hand. "_Would you like some tea?_"

Before he could answer, Alana ushered him to the conference table as she motioned for her secretary to bring the tray over to them. "I would prefer coffee," he smiled as he spoke to her in Anglish.

Alana could hear the slight accent of a colonist in his speech and as she asked her secretary to bring a pot of coffee, she noticed that his right leg was shaking nervously under the table. "You speak Anglish?"

"Yes," He answered as he looked over at the Monet oil painting, Sunrise. "I grew up speaking both languages … I did not expect you to speak Polish."

"Galileo Industries has a branch in Warsaw," Alana explained. "A branch that required my attentions shortly after opening … learning the language was necessary."

"Warsaw?" Kowalski could see that this woman was smart and looking around the office … a perfectionist. He looked down at his working hands … grease under his nails and calluses. He wished that he had not worked on his motorcycle before heading to the airport. The calluses couldn't be helped though. They were the byproduct of his wandering years where he made his living in carpentry and fishing after leaving the Alliance. They were reminders of those lost years.

"Forgive the delay, Ms. Solheim," Ms. Zimmer said, as she carried the tray with coffee and pączki. "Mr. Welles called and requested that you call him back when you are finished ... and these doughnuts were also just delivered."

"Thank you," Alana smiled as she turned her attention back to Kowalski, "I hope you like pączki. I had them made special for you."

"I could have ordered them," Ms. Zimmer said as she took away the sitruuna tray set.

"I love them," Kowalski smiled, placing his fedora on his lap and picking up one of the sweets as he caught Alana's perfume. She smelled good and if he weren't a married man … well, his mind wandered as he looked at her form below her tight fitting dress.

Alana, ignoring her secretary as she caught his response to her body, shifted in her seat as she picked up a wild rose hip jam filled pączki and took a small bite. "I hope that your flight was pleasant."

"The flight you provided was quite impressive," Kowalski answered, having never travelled in a private spaceship before. "I just hope that after the special treatment … what with the travel here, these sweets … that I'm able to assist you in whatever you have brought me here for."

"As do I," Alana said, putting down the doughnut and pulling up an image of Shepard. As the Commander's face came into view, Alana took special note of his response. "I need help protecting a certain individual."

Kowalski was both surprised and confused to see the image of Shepard. Why would she need protecting and why him? He felt that something was not above board so he put on his best poker face and asked, "I assume that this is the individual needing protection?"

Alana was surprised to see no response from him and wondered if he recognized her at all … "Yes. This is Commander Elizabeth Shepard who was formally with the Alliance. Have you heard of her?"

"Who hasn't?" Kowalski answered, inwardly smiling at Shepard. She had grown into a strong, beautiful woman who had not let her past define her. He looked at her image and knew that his pride for her was due to what she had accomplished and not what she looked like. "She is the very reason that Elysium survived an assault … and not only have there been books, music and a movie about her … she is also the first human SpecTRe. It would be hard not to know who she is."

"You sound like a fan," Alana said, impressed that he still gave nothing away.

"More an admirer to the way she represents us to the aliens," He answered, looking away from her image. "She shows them that we aren't easily pushed around. That if they come at us, they better be ready to get knocked back. But I'm confused, why does she need Rook Investigations to protect her? We aren't a bodyguard service and given her abilities ... well, I'm confused."

Alana could see that he was not going to reveal his connection to Shepard, but it did not matter. It was that connection that would assist her in what she needed. "I have hired other companies to investigate a matter that concerns her safety and they have all failed. I was hoping that your team of investigators might succeed."

Kowalski looked down at the grease in his nails and thought of his 1940 Crocker big tank back home. _What are you getting pulled into?_ He wondered as he looked at the image of Shepard again. "And what were they investigating?"

"Finding someone," Alana said, standing up and revealing a keypad that controlled the images above the conference table..

"Is that all?" Kowalski asked as Alana focused on what she was doing.

"What you are about to see is highly confidential," she said as a video of Shepard being attacked on Nepheron began to play. "As per the confidential agreement that you signed ... what you see here cannot be discussed except in relation to completing said mission."

"Understood," Kowalski watched in silence as the fight between Shepard and the two Shyno played out in front of him. Shepard's quick reflex, her lack of panic and total control impressed him. The sight of Pvt. Tanaka being beheaded made him flinch and he almost cheered as Shepard broke the attacker's neck. As much as he was amazed at Shepard's fighting ability, he was also angered that she had been attacked in the first place. How much had she been through since their time together? It was almost hard putting the person he had just watched to the Shepard that he had once known. How many years had it been?

Alana replayed the video and stopped on one of the assailants, "Someone hired the shyno to kill Commander Shepard. I need to find out who this individual is in order to void the contract."

_The shyno. Shit!_ Kowalski shook his head as Alana went back to her coffee. He had heard stories about them when he lived in Fukushima for a season and going up against them was a fool's quest. He looked over at Alana, "Finding who initiated the contract may not even help you now."

"Why?" Alana asked, placing her cup down on its saucer.

"She has bested them," He answered, looking at the shyno and shaking his head. "They may feel that their own honor is at stake now."

"Dammit," Alana cursed as she quickly stood up and moved away from the conference table. "Why didn't any of the other agencies mention this?" Alana angrily asked, as she also turned that anger inwards …. _Why didn't I consider this?_

"They might not have had any knowledge of the shyno," Kowalski reasoned as he watched Alana walk over to the window. He would have admired her backside as she moved away from him but someone else had taken front and center. He turned his gaze back to the shyno and Shepard's situation.

Alana, turning to look at him, was surprised to see that he had not lingered where other men would have. Instead, he was focused on the video. _This is promising_, she thought as she turned back around to look at the skyline.

Kowalski, seeing the date stamped in the corner of the video rubbed his chin. This had occurred over two months ago ... "How many times has she been attacked?"

"Just that once," Alana answered, still facing out at the busy skies of the Dylus district of Nos Astra. "Well, that we know of ... it has been almost two weeks since I have received any updates."

"Just once?" Kowalski stood up and thought of the money that this contract was offering. It was more than he had ever made in his life, but even that exorbitant amount was not enough to enter the world of the shyno.

"That we know of," Alana said again, needing him to say yes.

"Shit!" He mumbled under his breath as he thought of Shepard. _It had to be you_, he thought to himself. _Dammit, Shep … what am I getting into?_

Alana turned around, "So will you accept the assignment?"

"The shyno," Kowalski rubbed his chin. If the person on that video had been anyone else … anyone … he would have told Alana Solheim to find someone else for the job. But this was Shepard.

"I can add another twenty percent to the contract," Alana took a deep breath, hoping that she was right about the connection, but she saw the concern on his face. She had seen other men almost run out the door at the mention of the shyno. He had to take the case.

Kowalski looked down at his fedora and knew that the case was suicidal … "It's not the money …"

"If you do not think that you can help Elizabeth Shepard …" Alana interrupted, using the Commander's first name, hoping that it was the final push.

"Forward me all of the information that you have," He cut her off as he walked towards her. "I'll need previous notes from the failed attempts, vids, everything … I need to contact my office back home as well."

"We have arranged a place for you to stay while you are here in Nos Astra," Alana smiled, hoping that with his personal motivation he might succeed where others had failed. "I will also have an office set up for you just down the hall … anything you need, please let Ms. Zimmer know. We want to make sure that you have all the tools necessary."

"When may I meet with Commander Shepard?" Kowalski asked as Alana started to call her secretary back into the room.

"She is not part of this arrangement," Alana answered, "We have taken this matter on independently from her."

"She doesn't know?" Kowalski was confused. "But she would know who those assassins were … She would also have to know that they won't stop at just this one attempt."

"She knows," Alana answered. "But Shepard is working on an assignment for the Council that must take all of her focus … as such; Galileo Industries has volunteered to take care of this little matter for her."

"Little?" Kowalski would not call the shyno hunting you as a _little_ matter. It made him wonder what type of mission Shepard was on … but he also didn't really want to know.

"Little," Alana smiled, taking his arm and heading for the door. "Please get settled in and rested … we will speak further in the morning."

As Bronislaw Kowalski walked away, Alana couldn't help but watch him. He stood six feet and five inches, broad shoulders and the darkest brown eyes that she had ever seen. A part of her was attracted to his physical being but the other part of her saw him simply as a tool to protect Shepard … she was banking on the two's history to keep him fully committed in protecting the Commander.

* * *

><p>"What is Shepard trying to do to me?" Udina asked no one in particular.<p>

He had just spent the last few hours being dressed down by two Senators and a representative from the office of President Christopher Huerta of the UNAS. There were threats of his office being sued for what was left of the EAE plant on Virmire … and worse. Jonah Ashland was one of Huerta's biggest supporters and the UNAS President's office more than hinted that they might support a change in who the Human Ambassador to the Council was if Udina did not make financial restitution to EAE and assure his office that Commander Shepard would not destroy any more human assets.

"Don't they realize that Shepard is part of the Council?" Antun Obradovićo, his assistant asked as he handed Udina two diazepams. "They should sue them, not you."

The thought of any human threatening the Council made his stomach turn even more. Some of the demands that came across his table from Earth and the colonies were quickly thrown into file 13 … Hell, just that past week one Senator wanted him to inform the asari that they were to ban the use of biotics in skyball altogether because it was not fair to humans. Udina's eye twitched at that proposal. Did these Senators not know that he was focused on increasing humanity's position in the galaxy? That he was focused on colonization rights, keeping newly discovered resources on one of those planets, attaining new agricultural procedures from the salarians? Didn't they understand that he was working toward a deeper understanding and respect for all humanity? And while he was beating his head against the wall, they were sitting safely back on Earth focused on sports! He poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"Ambassador Udina," Anderson greeted as he entered the office. "You needed to see me."

"It's Shepard," Udina almost groaned as he downed the two pills with bourbon and then sat in his seat. "We must have her return to the Citadel."

"Has there been a new development?" Anderson asked as he sat across the desk from the Ambassador.

"New development?" Udina shook his head. "She has blown up a facility owned by the Eldfell-Ashland Energy Corporation! She is out of control … destroying prothean ruins, rachni escaping, now this! Jonah Ashland has threatened to sue this office for recompense and take his financial backing elsewhere. I've had everyone from Senator Mason to the office of President Huerta threatening me if I do not do something!"

"The Commander doesn't report to this office," Anderson said. "How do they expect you to stop a SpecTRe?"

"That's what I said," Antun said. "Udina can't stop an agent of the Council."

"They don't care how I do it," Udina almost cried as he looked at his glass of bourbon. "Just that I do it … She is going to ruin me … we need to get her back now!"

"Where is she?" Anderson had not had any contact with the Normandy since the last maintenance checkup on the Arc.

"I need you to find out," Udina told him. "The Council has not granted me an audience in over two weeks … if only we had a seat on the Council. With that seat I would have some control over her."

"I'll contact my sources on the Arc," Anderson could see that the Ambassador was at the end of his rope. "They should know her next scheduled Arc maintenance and where she is now … or at least headed."

"She must return to the Citadel before she blows up a planet," Udina could be heard as Anderson exited his office. "Or keep her stranded on the Arcturus Station! Just not out there leaving a path of destruction in her wake!"

* * *

><p>The apartment was just like every other executive residence he had seen … high end furniture, chef designed kitchen, magnificent views of the city and on-site security. He had seen these places but never stayed in one. He looked at his one good suit, the one he was wearing, and knew that he would need to have it tailored while he was there. He would also need to buy at least two more good suits if he were to fit in to the Galileo Industries world. With what his initial payment would be … he could afford a dozen and more.<p>

Setting his fedora down on the coffee table in the main living area, he thought of Alana Solheim. He knew her type. She was high-maintenance who would notice even the smallest of imperfections, so he needed to at least appear semi-presentable. As he took off his jacket and placed it on a hanger, he wondered how she had found him. Had she looked through an old Roald Amundsen High School yearbook?

Closing the closet door, Kowalski sat down on the couch after placing his luggage in the bedroom. He was tired and as he sat back on the sofa he could see her. They were running towards the cliff together back on Mindoir and Shepard was laughing. He couldn't keep up with her and it made her laugh even harder. His heart raced as she looked back at him … "C'mon, Broder!" Her voice sounded so clear in his head that it made him jump.

"Shep!" He sat up and looked around. He was alone. He thought of his parents and his little brother ... they had died like so many others. "Don't think about those things," he told himself as he looked at the contract on the coffee table next to his fedora. Alana Solheim had to know that he came from Mindoir … was she just guessing that he might have known the Commander? He thought of his yearbooks long destroyed with his childhood home … was there photos of them together? He couldn't remember.

_It didn't matter_, he told himself as he signed the contract. There was not only too much money at stake but there was Shepard. So what if this Solheim used the Mindoir connection to get him to risk coming face to face with the shyno. Who cares if she may have thought that his childhood years spent together with Shepard would make him work harder … "Dammit!" he looked over at an image of Shepard in the file that she had given him. She was right.

He sat forward and began to read through the file, being careful to not overlook anything, and with all the information that he had to date ... he rubbed his eyes ... he knew that he would need to start his investigation in Japan. Thank god that he had some contacts there from his old fishing days, he thought as he re-watched the video of the attack. "How did you see them?" He couldn't help but ask aloud. He knew that had that been him it would have meant death. "You just have to be careful and not tip your hand to the shyno."

He remembered some of the stories he had been told and picked up his fedora. "Are you really sure about this, old man?" he mumbled to himself as he put on his hat and went for the front door. "Only a fool would take this on," he frowned. "C'mon fool ... let's go get a drink."


	96. Aethoyner Arrival

The newly discovered chamber found one level below the beam had caused a new wave of excitement. On the south side of this section was a beautiful cave pool with small beams of light filtering in from crevices far above … this was also where the waterfall emptied into and the mist of the spray covered a quarter of the cavern. Liara had smiled up at the stalactites that had formed on the ceiling above the pool when she first arrived. Throughout the cavern were naturally formed columns and there were even more drawings on the walls in this place. But that was not what had excited the team of archeologists … in the center of the cavern were statues of creatures that they had never seen before. There were over two dozen cylinders with scrolls inside, weapons scattered against one of the walls and an area that contained bowls, eating utensils, smaller statues, cups, compasses, armor, and bones. There were even a few skeletons that appeared to have been laid down next to each other. After careful measurements, they were noted to be on average ten feet in length.

With lights now set up around this area, the work began on building a proper lift as the tools that were needed immediately were lowered down in the oversized bucket lifts. Calandra Aise, the head engineer of the excavation team had advised against letting too many of the workers down into this area without proper protection. There were columns that looked unstable and some of the walls had cracks running all through them. Liara could see that Calandra was right as she toured the area with her. Both asari understood that while there are many dangers on a dig site, the main danger was cave-ins. Liara had heard stories about whole teams dying or worse ... resorting to cannibalism just to survive. Liara had no desire for her or the team to experience that kind of fear and desperation. So she took just a small group and worked around Calandra's team who was putting up cross-braces and supports for the walls that had signs of being weak.

Liara had watched as Calandra inspected the area and then started designing the protective system. After a week of working so closely with Calandra, Liara remembered why she had been impressed with he on the Dretirop dig in 2171. Her ability to secure an area with speed and accuracy. Liara understood that what she did was much more complex than one would imagine as Calandra took a number of factors in to her equation … soil classification, depth of cut, water content of soil, just for starters.

The admiration was mutual as Calandra watched the younger asari in her role as archeologist. Liara was curious but not foolish, she was skilled at unearthing delicate artifacts without breaking them and she could logically piece together information from the findings. Calandra also liked how Liara, raised in wealth and privilege, could be bent over for hours, sweat pouring off her, her hands digging away at the centuries and yet she would never complain. Her accommodations, her work hours, her assignments ... all equal to others on the team. On this site, Calandra had started spending time with her after their evening meals, playing wisp together, Liara teaching her the salarian game dardos or just talking about Messonia … Calandra's place of birth. She had been surprised to learn that Liara had a family estate there and had spent a portion of her childhood playing in the Crysta Sea.

Calandra couldn't help but look over at Liara who was at the far wall and busy excavating an area that had a different appearance than the rest of the cavern. The soil was more like clay and there was a mark on the wall that appeared to be connected. _Is this a grave?_ Liara wondered as she had the area cordoned off by string. After properly documenting how the area appeared before they moved further, Liara and two asari on her team put on gloves and went to work. The trio moved carefully as they swept away the soil not sure of what was hidden below … Hours into the digging, sweeping, searching, one of the asari seemed to squeal as the soil gave way to bone.

Liara instructed Kryter, who had been busy getting the needed tools down for the team, to get a small team together and "sift through the excavated soil." He nodded and soon there were four salarians with him, off to the side sifting the soil through screens in search of small objects, bones or coins. The last item was Kryter's love and area of expertise … coins, copper, mintage, scratch. Kryter was a numismatistand had a shop with his older brother on the Citadel in the Bachjret Ward that specialized in coins, stamps and bobbleheads ... _The Coin and Stamp Trading Post_. His brother was a philatelist and in charge when Kryter was off on his expeditions. Kryter looked over at Liara and hoped that they continued to work together. She was easy to be with, was proficient in dardos, and could speak his language!

* * *

><p>Professor Saba Hendell was looking at images of the statues in Level D as she reached over and turned up the song <em>Kidda<em>. She had falling in love with the Arabic language when she visited the Land of Punta and it was not uncommon to hear tarab music coming from her tent. She smiled as she looked at the next image … these statues alone would command enough money to pay off all of the current expenses to date. It would also ensure that the overall project would continue opening up new tunnels.

Hendell had just completed her report to Antonina Delana and hoped that given the treasure trove, she would also be approved for additional workers. There were too many projects going at once, too many levels, too many chambers … she also needed to be able to set up a camp base outside the site if more workers were approved. The current staff was living on Level A and Level C … not an ideal situation, but currently the only option. _I need more funding_; she said as she stood up and turned off the music. She thought of the material results of the scrolls and needed to discuss it with Dr. T'Soni. But the doctor had been called down to Level D. _I need more skilled personnel_; she frowned as she thought of Dr. T'Soni's current workload. She knew that the young asari was being used on too many projects and that she was not getting much sleep.

Stepping out of her tent she thought of the rumors making its way around the project that Calandra Aise, her head engineer, had taken an interest in Dr. T'Soni. This had surprised her as both asari were not known for dalliances on job sites. Henell rarely approved of this kind of interaction on her projects but she was glad that Aise was getting T'Soni to rest a little at night. _As long as it doesn't negatively impact their work performances_, she thought, _I won't step in_. Hendell pulled the flap closed on her tent and then turned to go check on the inventory levels of their daily provisions and saw a human entering the cavern.

Shepard adjusted her green Sand Gnats baseball cap as she entered, her eyes slowly adjusting to the cavern, and shifted the backpack around. Squatting down, she opened a pocket and pulled out a pack of gum … nervous that Liara would see her first. She did not know why she was feeling so nervous. She had arrived at the dig site unannounced and had told herself that she did this because it was no big deal … but inside she knew that with all the times that she had been sidetracked by outside forces … she did not want to promise something to the asari and not keep it. But even without promising a set date, when Wrex and Crosby failed to meet up with them on Eletania, she did not wait. "Wrex will know where we are headed," Shepard reasoned. She needed to see Liara.

Shepard looked harmless as she began walking towards the center of the canyon, dressed in black cargo pants, green polo shirt, black pullover sweater and hiking boots. But, as always with Shepard, appearances were deceiving. Hidden beneath the sweater were a holstered pistol and her knife ... not to mention her martial arts training. There had been a debate on the Normandy for her to take Dr. Chakwas and a few Marines as a safety precaution but she had wanted to come alone. Now as she looked around and saw the archeologists, scientists and assistants scurrying about, she was glad that she had made that decision. She could already see that as a human she was getting stares and to have brought a team … well, this would have caused a greater disruption and that might later cause problems for Liara. She recognized that this was Dr. T'Soni's safe place … a place where she stood on her own.

Seeing a human in the midst of her project was not a welcoming sight. Not that it was a human but that this person obviously was not part of the team and therefore a risk to the surroundings. Unskilled people could be careless and touch things causing a loss of history … Henell had to remove this potential problem. "Excuse me, human … are you lost?"

"Lost?" Shepard could see the annoyance on the asari's face, "No. I'm here to see Dr. Liara T'Soni."

"Dr. T'Soni?" Henell looked closer at the human and wondered if this was the SpecTRe. _She does not look very dangerous_, Henell thought as she looked Shepard up and down. _Maybe she works for Delana and is here to deliver a family message ... I heard that Delana had a human jenda. "_I am Professor Henell ... and what is your name?"

"I'm Shepard," She answered, readjusting her cap as she pretended not to notice the full body inspection. "I was asked to see Dr. T'Soni here at this location."

Henell looked at Shepard and then waved over a salarian that had been emptying a waste receptacle. "Tino, take this human to Dr. T'Soni … she is on level D."

"Level D?" Tino looked at Shepard and then back at the Professor. "They still haven't got the lift completed."

"Are you an experienced abseiler?" Henell asked Shepard, hoping to hear the word no.

"Yes," Shepard answered, "But if you prefer I can wait here and someone could notify Dr. T'Soni of my presence."

With Dr. T'Soni inspecting the artifacts on Level D, Henell did not want time taken away from that just so this visitor might see her. No. Better that this person waste their non-valuable time instead … "No," She told Shepard and then turned to Tino, "Please see that she is escorted safely to Level D and Dr. T'Soni."

Tino nodded and then Henell asked Shepard to deliver a message to Dr. T'Soni for her, "No problem. What is the message?"

As Henell began to tell her … _Holy minus_, Shepard understood part of the message but there were also large parts of it that flew right over her head. She looked over at Tino who didn't seem to be grasping everything either as he stood there with his mouth agape. Shepard was about to laugh but realized that her own mouth was open as well. _What a sight we two must be,_ Shepard thought as the asari continued to talk on about scrolls and some tests that were done and … well … blah, blah, blah.

As Professor Henell finished, she gave work instructions to Tino for when he had delivered Shepard and then said goodbye to the two. Tino grabbed Shepard's hand and began to pull her towards an opening in the back of the cave. "Come this way and don't touch anything."

"Why doesn't she just call Dr. T'Soni?" Shepard asked, as she removed her hand from his and looked back at the asari. "That was a lot of … uh, information."

"Communication gets spotty the farther down you go," Tino answered, watching Shepard chew her gum.

"Spotty?" Shepard shook her head, "She thinks that's spotty … sending me to deliver that message is even worse. I have a feeling that static is going to make more sense to Dr. T'Soni than what I'm going to tell her."

"Worse?" Tino began to sound nervous as Shepard started to walk. "What … what do you mean by worse?"

Shepard looked back at the salarian, "Well, Dr. T'Soni is going to get a … a fuzzy message from me unless … well, did you understood what we are supposed to tell her? I just heard … uh … blah, blah, blah."

Tino's mouth was once again agape as his eyes said that he was horrified, "What do we do?"

Shepard removed her baseball cap, fixed her pony tail and as she put her cap back on said, "I guess, what I always do … Wing it."

"We cannot … wing it!" Tino said, looking around them. "One does not wing it when it is Professor Henell!"

"Do you even know what _wing it_ means?" Shepard smiled, enjoying the little tragic comedy playing out in front of her.

Tino shrugged his shoulders back … "No."

Shepard laughed and put her arm around him, "It means that you do the best with what you have … or know … or it could just mean that you fake it."

Tino looked at Shepard as if she was insane and seeing the Professor enter the area of the comm. station, told Shepard to "wait here! And don't touch anything!" He was not about to wing, fake or anything else … Dr. T'Soni would receive a clear, concise and accurate message from Professor Henell. Even if it meant that he had Professor Henell punch in her message on his omni-tool. _Humans!_

Shepard couldn't help but laugh as she watched the salarian running away … but she also felt a little guilty for putting the guy in this position. _What's wrong with you?_ She asked herself as she started to look around the cave. She thought about how her mind had been … cloudy of late and not as sharp as it once was. _Has it ever been sharp?_ She teased herself. It didn't matter. To her, it seemed that her mind was slightly duller than a year past and it worried her. Granted, she had been exposed to a beacon, two asari and now a dream … or vision. Or whatever that was.

_Maybe my mind is collapsing under it all,_ she thought as she began looking at a wall. Even with her mind worried about its abilities she found herself marveling at the rich colors … shades of red, orange and yellow … colors so vibrant that she thought of the colors of seawater fish. She didn't know how long she had been standing in front of it when an asari asked if she had "seen anything so beautiful?"

"Honestly, I can't say I have," Shepard asnswered, her eyes still on the wall. "Is it some kind of marble?"

"We don't know," The asari answered, moving closer to Shepard. "We can't break through its coating."

"Coating?" Shepard looked at the asari with furrowed brows.

"Feel," The asari smiled as she took Shepard's right hand and began to place it on the wall.

"No, no, no!" Tino could be heard yelling as he ran up to them. "Do not touch the wall of Kyuos!"

Shepard had wanted to pull away from the asari when she grabbed her hand at the start. Even with Liara in her life, she still wasn't comfortable being touched by these creatures. At the cries of the salarian, she had found her chance to pull away ... "I won't touch it."

"You could touch me," the asari smiled at Shepard.

"No touching!" Tino told the asari. "Human, we need to start moving if you want to get there before the evening meal."

Shepard, glad that the asari had turned her attention back to the wall, looked at the local time and it was just shortly after three in the afternoon, "Evening meal? How far is this place?"

"It's not the distance," Tino answered. "It's the crawling, the slanting downwards, the blind spots … then there's the drop."

"The drop?" Shepard asked.

Tino used his hands to show a figure walk off a cliff and fall … far. "A drop."

"Great," Shepard frowned, readjusting her backpack nervously as she thought; _You're really making me work to see you, Ms. T'Soni. Forget the beacon, I better get at least one of your wicked kisses for this journey._

* * *

><p>Liara felt her muscles tightening as she put down her 4" pointing trowel and moved from her knees to sitting on the ground. She looked at the partial reveal of the skeleton buried and it had surprised the trio to see that there were small fragments of cloth … The team wondered if it was the odd clay soil that had somehow preserved it.<p>

"Do you need help up?" Calandra smiled as she extended her hand down to Liara.

"Please," Liara smiled as she grabbed Calandra's hand. "I am afraid that my legs may not hold me, though."

"Not surprising," Calandra said, wiping the soil off Liara's clothes as she stood. "You have been on your knees for over half a day."

"Hmm," Liara stepped away from Calandra and stomped her feet as she removed her gloves.

"How do you do that?" Calandra asked.

"I sometimes lose all sense of time," Liara smiled as they began to walk to the bucket lift area. The actual lift was still being constructed Liara and Calandra would have to use the oversized bucket that could carry four people at once.

"Do you have other passions?" Calandra asked, as she and Liara jumped into the empty transport bucket.

"Skyball," Liara answered, squeezing a sanitized hand gel into her palms.

Calandra smiled, a skyball fanatic herself, "What team?"

"The Serrice Delphinus," Liara answered, as the bucket began to rise towards Level C.

"Oh, the Cruor League," Calandra gave a small frown. "Don't you find their stadiums too …"

"Sterile," they both said in unison and it made them laugh.

"The Fleo League does have the more beautiful stadiums," Liara admitted.

"Messonia Ceytins is my team," Calandra said, as the bucket jerked upwards. "But the most beautiful stadium would have to belong to the Armali Venitrux."

Liara smiled at the mention of her hometown and agreed that it was definitely the jewel of all stadiums. "That is why the Venitrux remained in the Fleo League … we did not want to lose our stadium."

"Wise decision," Calandra said. "After dinner ... shall we complete our game of wisp?"

Liara nodded as the bucket began to move over to the Level C ground.

* * *

><p>There had been many wrong turns, small mishaps, cramped passageways, loss of balance resulting in sliding, dead ends, and wild goose chases … much of which was Tino as the human stood by, silent and shaking her head. This was unlike him but there was something about her that made him nervous. And when he got nervous ... he got lost. The more angry he felt she was getting, the more nervous ... LOST! But Tino was hoping that Dr. T'Soni was on Level C now. She had to be. He looked at the human in the lift and could see that she was close to strangling him. They had wasted so much time in the tunnels that there was no Dr. T'Soni in Level D when they got there. Then as they were being raised back up in the bucket it had stopped due to a mechanical issue and … he thought that the human was going to throw him out. Not that she yelled … she had rarely spoken after his third wrong turn ... But he could see her eyes getting darker even if she bit her tongue.<p>

Shepard looked over at Tino and wondered why he was chosen to be her escort. At every turn this compass challenged salarian would pick the wrong tunnel and at one point Shepard remembered a recipe for salarian stew that Wrex once told her about. If worse came to worse she was willing to give it a try. _Wrex_ … Just the thought of him reminded her of that worry. Not only had Wrex and Crosby not arrived at Wetrot but there had been no communication at all. All Shepard could hope for is that the two were just taking longer than anticipated and that they would meet them on the Arc. Maybe that was Wrex's plan all along … have an excuse to publicly land on the Arc and be escorted to the Normandy. _Only Wrex_.

* * *

><p>Calandra had sat down at their regular table and looking at the wisp tiles already in play. They had started this set two evenings prior and looking at how many tiles were left … tonight would be the night it was completed. Calandra watched as Liara appeared after taking a shower and couldn't help but smile. She knew that the asari was younger than her but she found her pleasing to be with. Could there be more?<p>

Liara saw Calandra watching her and while she enjoyed their time together, she hoped that she was misreading the romantic undertones. Liara never mixed work and pleasure when it came to this part of her life. Not that she did not find the location romantic as her mind went to both the wall of Kyous and the cavern pool on Level D … but that time could be spent freeing the skeleton or deciphering the codes or sleeping. No. Given the choices, she preferred solving the mysteries over sensual pleasures. As she sat down across from Calandra she looked at the layout, "This is almost played out."

"I've already began the story in my head," Calandra said as she placed a tile on passion.

Liara laughed, as she looked at her choices compared to the tiles played, "That is against the heart of the game … moving forward without completion."

"When has moving been frowned upon?" Calandra teased as she touched Liara's hand.

Liara looked at the intimate touch and answered, "When one has an obligation still in motion … like these six tiles."

Calandra smiled as she removed her hands and changed the subject to skyball. This was greatly appreciated by Liara even if she did enjoy the compliment. Every now and then there would be a smile, a laugh, a touch … but none of it was leading to sensual intimacy. Both knew this as they continued to play Wisp. But there was someone who was watching that did not have the understanding of an asari ... Shepard.


	97. Slumber Party

Shepard and Tino had been directed to where Liara and Calandra were playing wisp and once Liara was in sight, Shepard stopped. How long had it been since they had seen each other in person? And in all that time apart they had only spoken once. Shepard was nervous as she looked at her.

"Why have we stopped?" Tino looked at Shepard confused

"Shh," Shepard put her finger to her lips as she watched Liara. She was dressed in cargo pants, archeology site boots and … Shepard looked closer and whispered, "You little thief."

"What?" Tino looked at her. "Who is a thief?"

Shepard turned the salarian towards the lift, "Go get some hot chocolate, Tino."

"But the message," Tino said, pointing at his omni-tool.

"Come back in an hour," Shepard winked.

"An hour," Tino set his timer and wandered off.

Shepard turned back to Liara who was wearing one of the Commander's old combat shirts. _Nope, my ass._ Shepard smiled._ Now I just need to find my Pooh._

* * *

><p>Liara was completely unaware of Shepard hidden in the shadows as she placed a tile down on family. Aspasia's <em>Underwater<em> was playing on a table in front of them and Liara seemed pleased with the choice of music as she asked them to turn it up. Liara's smiles made Shepard grin and it felt good. The last time that Shepard had seen Liara, she was grieving over the loss of her mother. _Benezia_, the memory of murdering her made Shepard frown and look away.

But the sound of laughter brought Shepard back to the table where three more asari had joined and were looking at the tiles. Liara was standing up and bent over the table, drawing Shepard's eyes to her legs. _Sweet Jesus_, Shepard almost moaned as she forced herself to look away. If someone had told Shepard that she would be aroused by the legs of an asari less than a year prior … "So not gonna happen," Shepard would have laughed in their face. _What have you done to me?_

The last tile to be played contained the mayngo, two suns and a reed. As Calandra began to place it on mother, the audience groaned as Liara pulled away the tile. Everyone laughed as Liara was admonishing Calandra in a language that Shepard's translator didn't know. "I have got to upload these languages," Shepard told herself not knowing that these asari languages were not available.

As Shepard continued to watch the group, Calandra grabbed the tile back and a small struggle between the two began as they laughed and spoke asari gibberish. Well, to be fair it wasn't gibberish to them but Shepard was left out in the dark. The unknown language frustrated Shepard but seeing Liara happy and laughing … it made it all okay.

It was funny how Shepard didn't like being with the asari but she loved to see Liara around them. It was as if someone else emerged. On the Normandy she was much more controlled and careful to not offend. But here she was sure of herself and knew what was proper … acceptable. Here, she was with her own kind and her playfulness showed. As Calandra finally gave in and Liara placed the last tile on pleasure … Calandra moved around to the same side as Liara and placed her hand on her hip. Okay, the touching that was happening between the two was starting to irritate Shepard … not that she would openly admit it, even to herself.

The offending hand disappeared from view as a salarian blocked it. Shepard watched as he said something to Liara and pointed straight at Shepard.

"Son-of-a …." Shepard bit her tongue and lowered her cap.

"Is there something wrong on Level D?" Liara did not understand at first what Kryter was telling her. When Liara had first talked about Elizabeth Shepard, he had pulled up all the information he could about her. She read like some kind of superhero and he was excited to meet her, so when she stepped off the lift … Wonder Shepard! When the human had not gone to Liara straightaway, but watched her from a distance, well … Kryter, not truly understanding the hesitation, decided that the human must not have wanted to interrupt the game. So here he was helping, or so he thought.

"Your Elizabeth is here," He repeated and pointed again at Shepard off in the shadows.

"She is not my Eliz …" Liara stopped, realizing what he had said. "My Elizabeth is here?" Liara removed Calandra's hand from her waist, "Where?"

"There," Kryter continued to point at Shepard.

Liara followed the direction he was pointing in just as Shepard took a deep breath and walked out of the shadows, smiling, "I hope you don't mind me stopping by, Dr. T'Soni."

"Shepard," Liara wanted to pull her close, remove the cap and kiss her but they were not alone.

"I see that you are still cheating at wisp," Shepard teased as she stopped just a few feet from Liara and looked at the tiles.

"I do not cheat at …" Liara caught the grin, the twinkle in the eyes and had to restrain herself from pulling Shepard to her and kissing her the way the Commander liked.

"You saw that," Calandra moved around Liara.

Liara had forgotten Calandra and shifting closer to Shepard introduced them, "Oh, Calandra, this is Commander Shepard."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Commander Shepard." Calandra Aise said, extending her hand as a human would. "I read what you did on Elysium. You have my admiration and respect for overcoming your own body's limitations to protect others. Not too many individuals have that kind of strength."

"Thank you," Shepard said, shaking her hand, but wanting to not like her, "I had a lot of help on Elysium."

"Humble as well," Calandra said, "Allow yourself a little praise."

_Yes, it was hard to not like her_, Shepard thought as she thanked her again.

"We can finish the game later," Calandra said to Liara, "The lift should be completed and I'll need to inspect it before it can be released for use."

"We need it operational in the morning," Liara said, "If there are any issues, please let me know."

Calandra nodded and then turned to Shepard, "It was nice to meet you, Shepard. I hope that you stay with us long enough to share stories and please Liara."

"Nice to meet you too," Shepard smiled, wondering if that last comment meant what she thought it meant or if it meant … oh, hell. Did it really matter?

Liara told Shepard that she would be back and escorted Calandra to the lift as Shepard looked down at the wisp tiles. Nope. She would never understand that game.

* * *

><p>"<em>She is beautiful<em>," Calandra said in her city's tongue as they walked toward the lift. _"Is she a lover?"_

Liara thought of Shepard in her bed and, withholding the truth, answered, "_The Commander has too many responsibilities to consider being with anyone … but we are friends."_

Calandra looked over at Shepard, brushed Liara's arm and confided. _"I have never pleasured with a human … but I hear that they are quite bapac. Even if that's true, it's made me slightly curious."_

"_Shepard prefers her own kind," _Liara said, as Calandra stepped into the lift.

"_That is a shame," _Calandra said, _"Her history and all that she has accomplished … a SpecTRe? Impressive. Enjoy her friendship … I suspect that she understands honor and loyalty."_

"_She does," _Liara stepped away from the lift.

* * *

><p>Shepard couldn't help but watch Liara with Calandra as they walked together. Every look, touch and word between the two bothered Shepard, but she was trying to keep her calm and not read anything into what she was seeing. Shepard removed her backpack and sat facing out on the bench just as Calandra brushed Liara's arm. Shepard lowered the bill on her baseball cap and cursed under her breath. Knowing what Liara could do in bed made Shepard feel inferior to Calandra … On the battlefield, Shepard knew that she could hold her own but satisfying a lover was not accomplished with fists, guns or intimidation … well, not if the partners were healthy and found blood in pleasure unacceptable.<p>

Liara returned to see Shepard's face hidden and she had no more willpower … at least when it came to that silly cap. She sat on the makeshift bench next to Shepard, leaned in and asked, "Do you mind?" as she removed Shepard's cap and placed it next to her on the bench.

"You don't like my hat?" Shepard pouted as she shifted towards Liara.

"I like seeing your face," Liara explained, looking at Shepard's lips.

"Well, you need to be nice to me," Shepard continued to pout as she reached down and pulled out her almost empty water bottle, "I feel like I just finished the strongman triathlon with a sadistic coach named Tino riding me if I slowed down. And it was done all for you!"

"For me?" Liara asked, as she touched Shepard's pouting bottom lip.

Shepard playfully bit at Liara's finger and as the asari pulled it away, Shepard added, "Remind me to offer him a place on the Normandy. He would give Tali a run for her money."

"Is she still on the Normandy?" Liara asked, rolling up the sleeves on her shirt.

"Yes," Shepard answered, as she began helping Liara. "You know, this shirt looks familiar."

Liara fought smiling as she pretended to not hear the comment, "How is everyone back on the Normandy?"

"Fine," Shepard lied as she finished up on the sleeve. "Everyone said to tell you hi."

"_Why must you carry so much on your own?" _Liara softly whispered as she touched Shepard's hand.

Shepard closed her eyes, the words of the asari pleasant to the ear but a mystery. Normally, foreign tongues bothered Shepard as she felt ignorant and at a disadvantage. But when Liara would speak in her language to Shepard, somehow she knew that the words were kind. At least she hoped the words were kind … or naughty. That would work as well.

Liara watched as Shepard let her hair down and placed the hair band in her pack. Wrex's words, _Death of a friend and the pain it has caused her_, sounded in her mind as Shepard took a drink of her water. As names of the personnel went through her mind she hoped that while the Commander was with her that she could give comfort.

Shepard could feel Liara trying to read her and she hoped that the asari did not have a way to creep into her mind without her knowing. _They never see. They never stop! And their blindness … the deafness … is their destruction_, Metentis' warning shot through her mind and she looked at Liara. She did not want her to see that vision. Shepard didn't want to spend her time with Liara thinking of any of that gloom and doom … "And how have you been since escaping my mad world?"

"Busy," Liara answered as she looked into Shepard's playful green eyes. Eyes that seemed to tease Liara with secrets hidden behind them and it made her quickly look away. How did a human touch her in a way that she had never felt before? Liara could feel Shepard shift even closer to her and was making her feel weak.

Shepard put her water bottle down on the table and gently grabbed Liara's upper arm, "Hey, I'm over here."

Liara turned back to Shepard and smiled. So much had happened in their individual lives since they had been together. But none of that mattered as she looked into eyes.

"What?" Shepard could see that something was on Liara's mind.

Liara wanted to tell Shepard that she wanted her. That she not only wanted to please her but that she wanted Shepard to touch her. She had been dreaming of Shepard touching her as an asari would and … and … Liara looked down at her hands. Her secret desires did not matter. Shepard had come here for the beacon … not for her.

Shepard squeezed her arm as she said, "I know, I know … I'm the sexiest thing that you have ever seen. I get that all the time, especially from your kind. It's a burden I carry."

Liara couldn't help but smile, "Yes, Shepard."

"But don't feel bad," Shepard said, pulling at her shirt playfully. "You're not so bad, yourself."

Liara pushed her and trying to take control of the conversation asked, "Do you want to see the beacon?"

"Is that code for something naughty?" Shepard grinned as she batted her eyes playfully.

Liara laughed and stood up, "Be serious … Do you want to see the beacon?"

_How long do we have?_ Shepard thought as she looked up at Liara, the mood turning serious again. _What if I can't stop them, Mr. Mentetis? _Shepard reached out with her right hand and gently held the tip of Liara's right index finger. _What if the others don't hear? _The thought that this cycle would follow all the rest, made Shepard look down at her boots. She did not want Liara to see her fear. She thought of all those civilizations moving towards their death and it made her not want to waste another day. _I need to let Liara know that I care. _But she found that all she could do was touch Liara. Words were inadequate for what she was feeling in that moment.

Liara looked down at Shepard touching her finger and she moved closer, not caring who saw. This human woman, calm, contemplative and gentle was seducing her and as Shepard looked up into her eyes … It took all of Liara's strength to not reach out with her mind, to not give pleasure to this woman or to know what was hidden deep inside her. She fought this need but not the desire to lean down and kiss Shepard.

Shepard began to kiss her back and then, remembering where they were, pulled away. "Not here," she said as she looked around hoping that no one saw. "I can't … I'm sorry. If this got out … no." Shepard knew that others would use this to weaken her position, that others might even hurt Liara to get at her … or worse. She would not risk her position, Liara's well-being or humanity's standing on this desire. It had to be stay between the two … or the three … or … Shepard thought of Sibila, Ipomona, Aika and her lover. How many more already knew as well? Shepard shook her head as she stood up.

Liara knew that the Commander was struggling with more than their kiss and as Shepard stood up, Liara looked down at the last tile played on the table. Pleasure. Was that what Shepard saw her as … just someone to give her pleasure? Shepard picked up her backpack and bottle as Liara picked up the baseball cap … "I will show you to my tent."

Shepard nodded and wished that things were different. That her attraction for the asari did not carry so much risk and that her role in the galaxy did not put Liara in harm's way. As they headed to the tent, Shepard looked around and knew that if a band of mercenaries were to attack this place it was defenseless. Okay, it was filled with asari and salarians but a dozen krogan … a few battlemasters in the mix and … _What are you wasting your time on krogans when you can look at that? _Shepard thought as she looked as Liara's ass. _Get your priorities straight there ole' Shep._ _Rickster would be disappointed … hell, Ricky, would dump his asari for my asari. Hmm. My asari? Life is a funny thing._

* * *

><p>The A-frame tent contained a standard size asari cot, a desk with a chair, Liara's luggage and a stool that she used as a night stand. Shepard noticed the holo of the Matriarch on the desk and next to it, to her surprise, an image of her receiving the Star of Terra. It made Shepard smile as she had kept Liara's artwork on her desk.<p>

Liara saw Shepard looking at the images and wished that she had put them away. She did not want the image of her mother to cause Shepard pain and after the rejected kiss … Liara placed the cap on the cot and decided that she would stay elsewhere. She didn't want Shepard to worry about her trying to touch her again. That would be for the best. When she told Shepard her plan, she saw anger flash across the Commander's face and it confused her.

Shepard thought of Calandra and at first thought that Liara had planned on staying with the asari for sexual reasons … if she wasn't already staying with the asari. What was she thinking? Hadn't she been told that the asari were whores? Shepard told herself to just let Liara go but as she began to pack a few items Shepard couldn't just let her leave. "Please don't go."

Liara stopped packing and looked over at Shepard, "I would just be in your way, Commander."

"In my way?" Shepard began to remove the items from her bag, 'I was hoping that we would have a slumber party tonight."

"Slumber party?" Liara had never heard of that type of party.

"You have never had a slumber party?" Shepard cocked a brow. "Oh, Ms. T'Soni, we must fix that. Tonight expect much girl talk, dancing in pajamas, popcorn, spin the bottle and frozen bras."

"Frozen bras?" Liara did not wear a bra but freezing one if she did made no sense.

"And spin the bottle," Shepard said. "That is where we learn who the better kisser is … but first … a nice long hot shower."

"Would you settle for a lukewarm shower?" Liara asked, as Shepard pulled out her toiletries.

"I'd settle for a cold shower," Shepard joked. "As long as I have a shower and we freeze Tino's underwear later … That's all I want for now."

Liara looked confused but inside she was smiling as she looked at her emptied out bag. Shepard did want her there … even if it was just to freeze things.

* * *

><p>"It is not very private," Liara warned her as they walked towards the asari showers. She was not blind to Shepard's feelings about her people. This part of her Elizabeth offended her at times but she hoped that in time Shepard would grow to at least understand her kind. As Shepard looked at the enclosed showers … enclosed as in not visible from the street but open inside for all to see. It was a high school shower set up and it made Shepard nervous. "I can stay if you want."<p>

Shepard shook her head as she refused to give into the fear, "I'll be fine."

"Do you need anything?" Liara asked as Shepard placed her change of clothes on a hanger by the showers.

Shepard shook her head again and as Liara went to leave, Shepard called her back, "Liara, I didn't want to stop kissing you … I hope you know that."

"I will be waiting at the tent," Liara said, pleased at Shepard's words.

Shepard looked around at the three empty spots in the communal shower and prayed to every god that she knew that no asari would ... _Oh, good, god, Fibbledywhop! _She hung her head as one, and then two entered the small space. Shepard scolded herself for thinking that they were there for any other reason than to shower. As one of the asari brushed by her, Shepard began to recite the Lord's Prayer trying to stay focus on her own showering needs and not go running out of there screaming.

The three asari could be heard behind her talking in their blue foreign tongue and Shepard wished that Liara had stayed. Once she had finished and headed back to the tent, she told herself that her fear was unfounded. The asari had not cared about her or even looked at her. Whether they had looked at her or not ... she never knew.

* * *

><p>Liara had been busy while Shepard had showered … she had made a nice sleeping pallet on the floor with the wooden stool set between the two beds as a divider. She had thought about making a pot of sitruuna but decided on bringing out the unopened bottle of Jameson whiskey that she had kept just in case Shepard had visited. She lowered the lights in the tent, placed two tumblers and a lit scented candle on the stool along with the whiskey. She then put on music by Akdhat, hid the Pooh shirt inside her pillow case and, after stripping down, put on her white silk robe. She began to worry that the candle and whiskey were too … too sexual … now looking down at them she doubted herself. She was about to blow the candle out and hide the bottle when Shepard entered the tent.<p>

"Commander," Liara stood in front of the stool, trying to block the bottle at least.

"Doctor," Shepard smiled, her hair wet and arms full of dirty clothes and her toiletries pouch. "You don't happen to have food to go with our drinks, do you? Or are you going to try and take advantage of me."

"Food?" Liara had not thought about food and frowned as Shepard placed her dirty clothes in Liara's hamper.

"I'm famished," Shepard told her, sitting on the cot. "I had breakfast … but nothing on my hunt for you."

"I'll find something," Liara said, slipping on her sandals and disappearing out of the tent.

With Liara gone, Shepard did a quick search for Pooh but came up empty handed. Well almost … she found her mother's silver bracelet with the little cross on the desk and was holding it when Liara came back in with bread and honey. "You aren't wearing it?"

"I do not want to lose it," Liara said as she handed the food to Shepard and then placed the bracelet back into the case that Shepard had found it in.

"I can have a stronger clasp added," Shepard told her as she poured honey on the bread.

"No," Liara said, "It should not be changed."

"Just promise to wear it on occasion," Shepard said, biting into the bread.

Liara looked at Shepard and promised. As Shepard finished her prisoner's dinner, Liara poured them both a drink and sat on the cot next to her, "Will that be enough or are you still hungry?"

Shepard gave a nod, honey on her cheek and took her drink from Liara, "Thank you."

"Should that be dry before you go to sleep?" Liara asked, looking at Shepard's hair as she licked her finger and wiped off the honey.

Shepard began to laugh, "You don't call hair … _that_, Liara. You call it hair."

"Then should hair be dry?" Liara asked but getting no response as Shepard could not stop laughing. "Shepard!"

Shepard forced herself to stop laughing as Liara began to get up, "No, no … stay! I'll behave."

Liara looked at Shepard and took her drink, "Maybe the food did not work."

"Maybe it didn't," Shepard smiled, as she took it back and downed the contents.

"No more for you," Liara said, taking the glass away and putting it back on the stool.

Shepard laughed and then as she winked at Liara, _Love Will Keep Us Together_ began to play on her omni-tool. "Listen, it's our song."

"Our song?" Liara couldn't help but laugh with Shepard as she remembered the elevator ride.

"Yes," Shepard stood up. "This music is a sign from the goddess Arapahoe. She is telling us that we belong together! That we must dance together!"

"How do we dance to this?" Liara giggled, ignoring Shepard saying the name of her Goddess, Athame, wrong, as she knew that she was just being teased by her … yet again.

"Not seriously," Shepard answered and then pulled Liara up. As they danced together in the tent, Shepard singing along, they began to hear others join in.

"Shhh," Liara placed her hand over Shepard's mouth and the two listened as salarians sang along outside the tent.

This made both Liara and Shepard laugh ... "I think we are being serenaded, Liara."

"As long as you remember that you are mine tonight," Liara said, "They can have you tomorrow."

"That's generous of you," Shepard laughed, enjoying Liara's teases.

The little slumber party continued on to be a perfect night for the two. Okay, they were missing the old movies, popcorn, soda, wicked kisses … no spin the bottle or frozen underwear. But it was still perfect. And it was more than Shepard could have hoped for. Not once did she think about the vision, or the deaths or the Normandy. She was just Elizabeth Shepard, a colonist from Mindoir. She shared her history with Wrex, talked about diving off the Anatolius cliffs with her friends, shared her memories of her parents, sang _In The Garden_, named her favorite singers and confessed that she thought often of Liara's kisses.

Liara shared as well. She told Shepard about the Matriarch's funeral, how Sibila was doing and the artifacts that they were finding. Liara had even told Shepard about the time that she destroyed her mother's reading room as she tried hiding from someone. As Liara told it, Shepard laughed so hard that she had tears running down her face. When Shepard pressed to know who that someone was she said that it didn't matter but that Shiala had been there as well. That additional information made Shepard laugh even harder as Liara, starting to laugh as well, hid under her pillow. After hearing Shepard sing, Liara shared some of her favorite passages from one of her mother's teachings. The night ended with the two speaking soft words in the dark as Liara laid on the cot and Shepard on the floor. Perfect.

* * *

><p>Shepard had been asleep for just over an hour when she woke to the sound of movement just outside the tent. She grabbed her pillow and placed it over her torso area, trying to make her feel less naked as she stood up. The rattling was heard again so she grabbed her pistol out of its holster and moved toward the tent's opening. Peeking out of the flap, she looked around and as the rattling was heard again she turned in its direction. It was then that she could see it was two salarians playing a type of dice game just a few feet from their tent. Shepard shook her head as she moved away from the opening.<p>

The pistol back in its holster, pillow back on the ground and Shepard couldn't help but look at Liara before climbing back into bed. Looking down at Liara, Shepard smiled at her little girl features. She quietly began to hum a song that Hannah Shepard would sing sometimes to her … sing when she could not go to sleep … _Close to You_. It was a sappy song, the type that children like, but as Shepard continued to hum the tune softly she had to admit that she still liked it. Liara turned over in her sleep and Shepard reached down and touched the exposed breast. "If only you were awake," Shepard whispered as she gently re-covered the breast.

Back to humming the tune as she crawled into her bed, she thought of the lyrics to the song and smiled. They expressed how she felt about the asari asleep just a few feet from her. She did not want to be anywhere else in the galaxy but here … next to Liara. The realization of how much she cared about Liara scared her but it also put her at ease. She closed her eyes, still humming, when she heard Liara move on the cot. Opening her eyes, she saw Liara getting up out of bed, naked and … she wanted her. Liara looked down at her and as the covers were pulled back by Shepard, they both smiled.

"What are you humming?" Liara asked in a hushed tone as she slid her left leg between Shepard's legs.

"An old song," Shepard whispered, looking down at Liara's body pressing in on her.

"You want me," Liara whispered as she looked down at Shepard's hard nipple.

"I'm just cold," Shepard said, covering her breast with her hand.

Liara began to pull away Shepard's hand when the rattling of the dice outside made her stop, "Shepard …"

Shepard, seeing Liara turn towards the tent's entrance, pulled her back by the chin, "It's okay … My husband doesn't know I'm here."

Liara, pressing her leg against Shepard's heat, moved in close to Shepard's ear and whispered, "But mine does."

"You marry anyone but me," Shepard playfully threatened, pushing Liara's leg away, "I'll hunt you down, T'Soni."

"_You will ache tonight_," Liara whispered in her tongue, as she slipped her hand between Shepard's legs. _"My pleasure will be in your cries."_

"Did you just say that you are going to sell my clothes?" Shepard tried to joke, the words a struggle, as she felt Liara's lips brush her right nipple and fingers seeking her out.

Liara gave a small playful bite and looked up at Shepard, "Only words of desire."

Shepard knew that she could frustrate Liara at times with her humor. But that was one of Shepard's defenses. With men Shepard had always stayed in complete control … but with Liara she wasn't the one with the power. The asari could make her forget where she was at times. This ability could make her feel too vulnerable and there were times that she was even afraid of her. The fear came when in the moments of intimacy; she would focus on the asari and not on Liara. When she saw that she was naked and being touched by an asari … an alien … she thought of the grocers on Mindoir where an alien had split her in two. In those flashes, she would push Liara away or she would force her own mind to go somewhere far away. She hated that she could feel that way towards Liara.

"Not tonight," Shepard whispered as she ran her right leg up Liara's side and began kissing her.

"Not tonight?" Liara asked, but received no answer unless you counted the rattling of dice.

Shepard looked up at Liara and saw her looking at her full lips … almost transfixed. "Where do you want me to put these?" She teased, biting her bottom lip.

Liara murmured something and moved her hand from between Shepard's legs and placed her thumb on the bottom lip. Shepard heard the asari whisper something and then she ran her tongue across the bottom lip where the thumb had been. Shepard felt Liara's stomach tense as she kissed and then gently tugged on Shepard's bottom lip. It was Shepard's turn to feel a furnace in her stomach as Liara began to kiss her; deep kisses, hungry kisses, wicked kisses. As Liara went deeper with her tongue, Shepard gave a small moan and Liara pulled away.

"Liara," Shepard cried out in frustration.

Liara pressed hard against Shepard as she whispered to her human lover that even the smallest of sounds carried in the cavern, adding in old Armali, "_Will they hear my bapac lover_?"

Shepard, hearing Liara speaking to her in her unknown tongue, her hands touching her pleasure points, her kisses going deep … was getting lost again in Liara, losing all control to the asari. This had not been her plan. Clutching the blanket in her right hand, her back arching under the asari's touch, Shepard fought the urge to let Liara control this night. "Let me pleasure you," Shepard struggled to say.

"You do please me," Liara whispered, not understanding what Shepard was really saying.

"No," Shepard knew that wasn't entirely true and she was going to change that. Shepard wanted to feel Liara open up, breath deep and bruise her in her final moments of release. She needed Liara to know that the feelings and the desires were shared by both. That Shepard wanted to touch her as much as be touched. That she wasn't just using her. This had been on Shepard's mind while they were apart and as a result, Shepard in her quest of becoming a better lover, had downloaded a _how to make love to an asari_ e-book. She had even forced herself to watch _Pink Skin_ to see what might please Liara. She was glad that she did. She had assumed that asari were exactly like her in sex. That was not the case as she opened up the e-book. _Holy moly, Batman!_ Then there was the movie. _Sweet Idaho! _The intimate scenes in that film showed her that there were places on the asari unique to them … and some of those places were where Shepard was planning on going tonight.

"Shepard," Liara tried pulling Shepard back under her spell.

_It's now or never_, Shepard told herself as she moved on top of Liara and smiled, _Time to turn the tables on Liara T'Soni_. Liara knew this was how Shepard liked to be penetrated and as she began to move her hand towards pleasing her … she stopped. Shepard had started kissing her neck and then began to run her tongue inside the grooves, causing the asari to grab and squeeze Shepard's arm as her breathing deepened … _Just like the movie_, Shepard thought.

"Elizabeth," Liara whispered, her eyes flashing black briefly before she pulled herself back.

"Liara," Shepard responded, teasingly, as Liara felt her touching her in ways that she had only dreamt about … in ways that she had wanted.

"_Where did you learn this?" _Liara almost seemed to moan as she felt her body opening up.

"I know," Shepard answered, not understanding what Liara had said … but she did understand that she was doing something right as Liara clutched her leg. Not that it didn't hurt … it did.

"_Who has been teaching you these things?"_ Liara asked, as Shepard moved up her body.

"Turn over, Liara" Shepard whispered, as she moved off Liara and watched as the asari did as she was told. Shepard reached over with her hand and spread her legs.

"_Who has touched you?"_ Liara couldn't help but wonder as Shepard touched her.

* * *

><p>Shepard looked down at one of the bruises on her arm and grinned as two salarians sat down next to her. She had missed the morning meal rush by two hours and was looking at a plate of asari food. The squiggly stuff might have been salarian. She would have preferred bacon, eggs and potatoes this morning. She took a drink of her coffee and knew that no amount of cream and sugar would take away the bitterness … must be salarian as well.<p>

"Excuse me," Shepard called out to Kryter, who was running past her. "Where is Dr. T'Soni?"

"Level D," he answered, as he stopped, pulled out a photo of her and ran over to her table, "Would you sign this?"

"Sure," Shepard said, signing it.

"Do you think that later ... after dinner, you could tell some of us about Elysium?" Kryter asked.

"Sure," Shepard said, looking down at her coffee cup of salarian bitter.

"Great!" Kryter said and then left Shepard alone.

Alone.

Shepard had woken up alone if you didn't count the sounds of Donna Summer telling her about _Unconditional Love_. Liara's cot had been made up but Liara was nowhere to be seen. Shepard made her bed, brushed her teeth and showered before heading to breakfast.

Today was a day that she was not looking forward to … she had a date with a beacon. She wondered if it would kill her this time. Thinking about what she had done to Liara ... she grinned.

If she had to die today, she was going with a smile on her face.


	98. Morning After

Liara removed her cotton gloves and rubbed her eyes as she stood up from the slanted table that held the scroll. She felt as tired as her eyes, having had very little sleep ... her body was also sore and her emotions frayed. Liara reached into her small pack and pulled out the eye drops … lifting her head back, the cool liquid taking away the burn, she remembered Shepard turning her over and her stomach tensed. _Oh, Goddess._ She was finding it hard to focus as she kept going back to the things that Shepard had done to her … and then there was the how Shepard knew what to do question that tormented her.

_How did she know where to touch me?_ Liara kept asking herself. She could accept Shepard being with another human, but had Shepard been with an asari while away from her? The image of her own kind touching Shepard, teaching her their pleasures, would not go away. Liara placed her eye drops back into her pack, pushing that offending thought out of her mind. After all, Shepard was not comfortable around her kind; she reasoned ... a small part of her was glad that Shepard was not readily open to the asari. But that did not stop the image of Ismene being Shepard's teacher; touching her, tasting her … Liara made a small frustrated sound at that possibility as she grabbed her thermos of kaffee off the top of a crate.

Opening the thermos, Liara put her mind to the sleeping woman. She remembered watching Shepard fall asleep as her own body, throbbing, was wide awake. She wanted to continue sharing pleasures but the human was depleted. Liara understood that other species did not have the same stamina as them … well, if one did not include the krogan. The creatures of Tuchanka were known to be close in stamina, but Liara tried not to think of them in that way. And even with this knowledge it did not quiet her body. How long had she run her nails lightly over Shepard's backside as she slept? Hoping that the human would wake and desire more of her. How many kisses had she stolen from the lips that excited her? Liara closed her eyes, thinking of Shepard's curves and soft skin.

Kryter interrupted Liara's thoughts as he entered her work area and showed her the schedule of the day. She handed her thermos to him as she looked at the assignments and then made changes to better utilize her small staff. Liara informed him that she wanted to be notified when the excavation of the skeleton was almost complete, wishing that she could somehow be both there and here, working on the scrolls. _Prioritize your time_, she reminded herself. Then there was the testing on the scroll's material. Tino had delivered Professor Henell's message to Liara while Shepard was showering and Liara had worked on a possible solution to the testing failure earlier that morning.

"Make sure that you get this message to her before you check on the team in Level C," Liara told him.

Kryter handed her thermos back and told her that she looked different.

Liara said that she had not slept that much, "The Commander slept on my cot and I took the floor."

"No," Kryter said, looking at her cheeks. "That's not it … you don't look tired but …"

"Deliver the message," Liara cut him off. "I have work to get back to."

Kryter shrugged and as he started to leave, stopped and pulled out a picture of Shepard … "Do you think that the Commander would sign this?"

"Yes," Liara answered, as she looked at Shepard's lips in the photo and wondered if she was awake.

Her answer seemed to please Kryter as he placed the photo back into his bag and ran towards the skeleton being excavated. Liara, taking another drink from her thermos, leaned against the crate and looked over at Calandra who was inspecting the construction support beams. Liara knew that if she had been with her instead of Shepard that the touches last night would have been firm, precise and skilled … a dance between the asari.

The pleasures shared between them would have played out like a ballet. But last night was not a ballet. With Shepard where there would have been a firm touch, it was hard. Where there would have been precision, there was hesitation. And where there would have been skill, there was questioning. Liara closed her eyes as she remembered Shepard's tongue in her sensitive areas. She had shared her bed not with a ballet dancerr last night, but with a boxer and it had pleased Liara. Yes, it was not perfect as it would have been with Calandra but that was what made it more satisfying. "Imperfect," Liara said, looking over at the scroll. Aika had told Liara that it was Liqiu's imperfections in touch that made those very touches perfect … Liara had not quite understood until last night. Shepard was perfect in her imperfections.

Liara stood up from the crate and realized that Calandra was looking at her. She gave a small smile, placed the thermos back on top of the crate and put back on her gloves … time to get back to work. She stood before the scroll and forced her mind back on the task at hand. Or at least she tried. _The shadows, your light, casting my eyes away, you tormented and bruised my body_, Liara recited one of her favorite poetess', Phaidra, as Shepard's own curves and touches would not let her concentrate … _who touched you?_

* * *

><p>"And there was no other option than to destroy the Eldfell-Ashland Energy plant on Virmire?" Admiral Hackett asked Kaidan.<p>

"No sir," Kaidan answered, nervous to be talking to the Admiral. "The facility had been turned into a krogan cloning facility by Saren Arterius ... Both Commander Shepard and the STG Captain believed that there was no other option."

Hackett nodded, "Tell the Commander that I'll see that no steps are taken against her … but she must understand that destruction of human assets, military or otherwise, is to be avoided when at all possible. The company is asking for restitution and trying to use her SpecTRe status as a foot into meeting with the Council."

"Do you want me to have the Commander contact them?" Kaidan asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"That isn't necessary," Hackett answered. "Senator Varus is addressing this and, if I know her, there will be no more chatter from them."

"Yes sir," Kaidan looked over at Pressly, who was off-camera. "Did you want to speak with the Executive Officer?"

"Good evening, sir," Pressly stepped into view. He had been in the shower when the call had been received so the Lieutenant had stepped in. He was glad. The time on the Arc was late and he had hoped that they were not being sent on another mission that would leave even more of the crew dead.

"Pressly," Hackett nodded. "Are you running a tight ship while the Commander is groundside?"

"Yes, sir" Pressly answered.

"Good man," Hackett said, Pressly hearing the weariness in his voice.

"Would you like me to have the Commander contact you when she returns?" Pressly asked.

"No," Hackett answered. "Just tell the Commander that the Alliance looks forward to having her back on the Arc … looks forward to having all of you." Hackett had shared the Thanksgiving holiday with Shepard's grandmother and Aunt … he debated telling them to forward to Shepard his appreciation as well as his newfound love for pork pot pies with a corn pudding crust … _better not_, he thought as he looked at the two men. "The Commander's family currently on the Arc has asked if I would tell Shepard that they would like to see her home and soon."

"I will tell her," Pressly said, both he and Kaidan saluting the Admiral.

"Hackett out …" and then the line went dead.

As the lights brightened in the conference room, Pressly began to drink his now lukewarm coffee, "Thank you for filling in."

"Pressly," Kaidan sat down in his chair, "Do you think it's wise for the Commander to be out there alone?"

"Well," Pressly took his seat. "I admit that I'm not comfortable with her alone … but she did give orders."

"I know," Kaidan shook his head. "If that beacon is like the one on Eden Prime, though …"

Both men remembered how the Commander had been carried back on to the Normandy … as if on cue, Dr. Chakwas appeared, "Gentlemen, please tell me that we are preparing to disobey orders."

The two men looked up to see that Chakwas, wrist in a sling, was not joking.

* * *

><p>Shepard stepped off the lift in Level D and within minutes she saw Liara leaning over what looked to be a drafting table … a salarian bumped past Shepard as Calandra, seeing her, approached with a good morning, "Did you and Dr. T'Soni have a nice evening together?"<p>

Shepard nodded, "I always enjoy talking with Dr. T'Soni."

"I can understand why," she said, taking Shepard by the arm and walking towards the statues in the middle of this level. "I find these to be interesting but also quite intimidating."

Shepard looked up and she could hear the fluttering flags, the wind, the bells and it made her step back. The creatures in this room were not the ones in her vision … but they were close.

"Are you okay, Commander?" Calandra asked, catching Shepard.

"Fine," Shepard said, feeling light-headed, but not wanting to show it. Instead, she pulled away and trying to stay upright, placed her hand on one of the statues.

Calandra looked over at Liara, worried, and looked again at the human … hand against the statue and head bowed. "Do you need me to get Dr. T'Soni?"

"No," Shepard took a deep breath and looked up at the statue, "This looks like ivory."

Calandra could see the human's free hand against her leg slightly shaking, but she could also see that Shepard did not want help. Trying to honor her wishes, she focused on the statue and said that it was a type of stone found on one of the moons.

Shepard listened as she looked at Calandra and hoped that her shaking hands weren't too noticeable. The last thing she wanted was for Liara to worry about her and then there was the dream … or vision. _Shitness_, Shepard shook her head slightly. She did not plan on sharing the vision, or the words of Metentis or the words of the reaper. If the world was coming to an end … she would not be the one to take away Liara's hope.

"Shall we go see Dr. T'Soni?" Calandra asked, seeing that Shepard appeared to be better.

* * *

><p>Chakwas had packed a light bag and was giving instructions to her head nurse, "Don't forget that Pressly needs a checkup … I won't send him back to Esther without making sure his heart can handle the reunion … and whatever they might do after being apart for two months."<p>

"Should we be doing this?" Kaidan asked as he entered the medbay.

"Shepard was struck unconscious for over fifteen hours last time," Chakwas said, handing him he bags. "And that was from a beacon that failed? She has been down there for over twenty-four hours … if we time this right we may be able to check in on her and be back here without her ever know it. Of course, that would mean that Dr. T'Soni would have to be part of the deception."

"I don't see Liara lying," Kaidan said. "She doesn't know how."

"Men," Chakwas laughed, "A female shows any kind of restraint or good manners and you have to put her on some kind of virginal pedestal. It's really sweet but unfair to us females. We are human the same as you and carry all of your weaknesses. Liara, like any other woman, can be deceptive ... and still have a good heart. One does not cancel out the other."

"But Liara isn't a human," Kaidan said, as they exited the medbay and headed for Pressly.

"You know what I mean," Chakwas sighed. "Liara will assist us if it means protecting the Commander … I think she cares about her."

* * *

><p>Liara had stopped to eat a piece of her sokolatí sweet and as she put it in her mouth she moved closer to the scroll to look at one of the characters, careful to not touch the parchment with her bare hands. The symbol was not like any of the others and she found that curious … she also noticed what appeared to be an image inside the symbol. <em>Interesting.<em> Liara put on a fresh pair of cotton gloves and as she looked closer at the symbol with her loupe, ABBA's _Lay All Your Love On Me_ started playing softly somewhere near the lift and the words were hitting too close to home.

Liara couldn't concentrate with that song accusing her and as she turned to see if she could have it turned down … there was Shepard. She was in her hiking boots, blue jeans, black pullover sweater and beneath that a pink tank top. Liara liked how Shepard looked in pinks and reds, the colors complimenting her skin. But she loved her in green, because it brought out the color in her eyes. Shepard's hair was again up in a pony tail, she wore no makeup and _thank the goddess_ ... she was not wearing that silly cap. Liara had never seen anything as arousing as the human walking towards her … but Shepard wasn't looking at her. She was looking at Calandra and smiling, talking.

Liara felt her stomach turn as the voice of a female begged her lover to not share their devotion. She turned away and began to look at the scroll again with the loupe as she pretended to not notice the two. The song had been turned up, to Liara's horror, as Shepard was getting closer. _Someone shut that song off!_

"Dr. T'Soni," Calandra said as the two stopped in front of her, "I have brought Commander Shepard to you."

Liara looked up and smiled, "Thank you, Calandra. I see that you are bracing the east wall … do you know if the Level B chamber was completed?"

"Yesterday," Calandra answered. "There were a few delays that would not have happened if I had a bigger crew … but we must manage with the resources that we have."

"That's what Professor Henell says," Liara nodded, not looking at Shepard while Calandra was there. "She is hopeful that with the finds in this level we will have more workers … soon."

Shepard didn't like how Liara was looking only at Calandra or how that old ABBA song was needling her current feelings. _Yes, yes_, Shepard thought as she looked at Liara, _all I've learned is overturned … someone shut that damn song off!_

* * *

><p>"Now remember," Pressly started to say …<p>

"We snuck out," Chakwas smiled at him. "We know, Charlie. Relax. The Lieutenant and I will throw ourselves on the sword for you. Besides, if all goes well … the Commander will never know we were even there."

"We pray," Kaidan mumbled, starting to regret this decision to follow Chakwas into their possible doom. Hell, he was still rubbing his ass from Shepard's last meeting with him. He still didn't know how he had walked out of that meeting still a Lieutenant and still in one piece. He heard her reciting the Alliance article dealing with striking a commanding officer and the punishments for that act. He heard her talking about his spotless record within the Alliance. He heard her say that he had been saved because she was not an officer with the Alliance but a SpecTRe now. He heard her give her decision on what disciplinary action within the Normandy would be given to him and Pvt. Satake. None of that mattered.

It wasn't the clipped, hard, cold words falling from her lips that were stripping him down. It was her dark, green eyes looking deep into him and casting no warmth. As she had moved just inches from his face, those eyes looking up into his … they accused him as they crawled into him. They had reached down into his soul and torn him apart. He saw the accusations in those eyes that his decision had been made in weakness ... that his holding her, stopping her, bringing her to his knees, had been made by his emotions and not his training. Her eyes said that she hated him for allowing their sister to die just so the woman he wanted to possess could live. Her eyes said to him that she knew.

He had not been sleeping well since Virmire, as Ash came to him in his dreams. Even as she told him she understood, to take care of Shepard and to forgive himself, he felt lost. If he had been thinking more clearly and not with his heart could he have saved her? How could he have just let her die? Why was he still alive while she was gone? Taken from her family? In his dreams, the sounds of the krogan tearing into her and her screams of betrayal robbed him of any peace. He had, that very morning, tossed and turned as he struggled with the question that if Shepard had been allowed to go to Ash, would she have pulled off the impossible again? If he had only just trusted her, would Ash be there? But even with these doubts he knew that he would do it again … he would put everything second to her and it caused him shame.

* * *

><p>Liara, trying to act unaffected by the presence of Shepard, asked to be given a few minutes as she returned to her loupe. Shepard said okay and began to look at some of the artifacts in that part of the room … bowls, eating utensils, smaller statues, cups, compasses, armor, and bones. Okay, she avoided the bones. As she picked up a small statue she heard Liara clear her throat and looking up, Liara shook her head.<p>

"Sorry," Shepard whispered and put it carefully back down. "I didn't realize this was a look but don't touch store."

Liara arched a brow of disapproval before returning to the scroll and pretending to ignore her. Shepard pouted but stopped as an item caught her eye … she bent over, fascinated by a compass looking type of thingy majiggy, struggling against picking it up. She heard Liara move behind her as she was wiggling her fingers toward the item … _I. Will. Not. Touch._

Liara could see that Shepard was behaving for the moment and it pleased her. But she was finding it hard to behave herself as she looked between the scroll and Shepard bent over … _Turn over, Liara_ … Meanwhile, pounding drums and then David Bowie and then _Blue Jean _echoed in the cavern. Liara moved down Shepard's blue jeans and wished that … _Back to work._

Shepard stood up and began to move unconsciously to the music as she looked up and saw the thermos. _Coffee_. She smiled and moved past Liara towards the java juice.

_Is that …?_ Liara bent closer to the lone image inside the symbol. The figure was hugging itself, head looking down with a chain around its neck. Liara moved the loupe over the chain and saw that it was tearing into the skin. But there was something else on the neck … a type of marking_. A tattoo?_ Liara knew that what she was seeing was an asari but a part of her would not accept it … "Shepard, can you look at this?"

"What?" Shepard asked, thermos to her lip.

"No!" Liara grabbed the thermos from Shepard. "You cannot drink that!"

"Why?" Shepard did not like anyone telling her no or taking things from her.

"It is mine," Liara said, placing the lid back on and placing it back on the crate.

Shepard looked up at the thermos, "Liara, if you are afraid of my backwash or my germs … You are too late. I think that we have shared much more personal body fluid than my saliva."

Liara did not have time to explain why Shepard should never blindly eat or drink things that belonged to her … "Please, look at this."

"Fine," Shepard, unimpressed, grabbed the loupe from Liara and walked over to the tilted table and the scroll, "What am I looking at?"

Liara grabbed Shepard's hands, afraid that she was about to touch the scroll, "Do not touch it without gloves … you could damage it with your oils."

"First my saliva," Shepard said, eyes angry, "… now my oils."

Liara ignored both her words and angry look as she handed her cotton gloves, "Put these on."

Shepard, gloved and gritting, walked up next to Liara and asked what she was looking at "without my oil or saliva?"

"Look at this," Liara said, still ignoring her dark mood, as she placed the loupe over the image. "What do you see?"

"At the moment … red," Shepard mumbled, looking at the image.

Liara looked at Shepard's profile just a few inches from her and she found the anger, the narrowed eyes and pursed lips starting to excite her. _Have you touched her while she is angry?_ Aika had asked. After what Shepard had done to her … Her boxer. Her bapac. She moved closer, pressing her breast against Shepard as she pretended to be looking at the symbol. She was still afraid of the woman's anger but she also wanted to feel that darker passion in her bed.

"Don't play with fire, Liara," Shepard warned, feeling Liara pressed against her and the asari's breathing changing … deepening. "It won't just burn you."

"Hmmm," Liara looked at Shepard's profile and wanted to move inside her. To show the human what an asari could do … the pleasure, pain, control, power. Liara knew that within the joining she would have Shepard under her spell. That the Commander, the SpecTRe, the woman would be at her mercy as she was now at Shepard's. A disapproving look, a rejection, harsh words … these were worse than poison, blades and bullets to her when given by Shepard.

Liara also did not want to keep hiding what was different between them. As she looked at the human so focused on the image, she worried that Shepard would reject who she really was … she had seen how Shepard had been offended by Sibila. Yes ... Sibila and Liara were different in temperament, but not in needs. Not in emotions. Both loved chocolate but where Sibila would munch quickly through the box, Liara would examine a piece, taking small bites and savoring the taste, texture and smell. But in the end, they both loved chocolate.

Liara had seen how Shepard pulled away from the asari and even feared her people, which she did not understand. This also fueled her need to be inside Shepard and make her see who she was ... that very thing that offended ... an asari. She was proud of what she was … some would even say a little too proud. But her deep sense of loyalty to Thessia did not stop her from trying to understand others. To accept that others were not held to the same customs, beliefs or social norms. She accepted Shepard ... would Shepard accept her.

The need to join with Shepard was growing stronger and yet Liara knew that she was not ready, no matter the desire. She would not touch her until she knew that she would not lose herself and that she would not take from Shepard what was not hers to have. It was not time.

"I see …" Shepard looked up at Liara, her anger gone.

"What?" Liara asked, "What do you see?"

Shepard, a twinkle back in her eyes, "… a man wearing a pink carnation."

The anger was now in Liara's eyes and Shepard could see that she was now the one seeing red.

"Okay," Shepard really hated it when Liara looked disapprovingly at her. "I see an asari with some kind of collar and a leash wrapping down her body … she looks sad, but with a leash and what appears to be a very tight collar, can you blame her?"

"That is what I thought," Liara took the loupe and looked at the image. "These must be later … after the protheans."

Shepard looked at Liara deep in concentration and felt something that she had never felt before ... Morning after insecurities. Shepard worried that she had not completely satisfied Liara ... hell, she'd be happy to know that she had, at least, partially satisfied her. _What if Liara had faked … no, no, no. You will not go there_, Shepard told herself. _Liara did enjoy some of it. _This self-doubt as a lover was something completely new for Shepard. But then, being with anyone other than men was new for her. Blow jobs? No problem. Azure jobs? She didn't even know what that was until a month ago. _Maybe I should have slept with Michelle first to have her critique me? She could have …_ Shepard couldn't believe that she was actually having that thought. She shook that image of her and Michelle out of her mind and watched Liara move the loupe._ You really need help ... doubting __yourself. _Shepard began to move away from the table when she heard herself ask out loud and in living color; "Did I please you, last night?"

Liara looked at the loupe as confused and surprised by the question as Shepard, who was screaming in her head _What did you just ask?_ This display of vulnerability by the Commander touched Liara but it also left her speechless ... She knew that Shepard was not one to open herself to the possibility of being hurt. Liara took off her gloves, turned to Shepard and whispered, _"I became bruised by your hands, damaged in your eyes and now when you are near … my desires will betray me to please you."_

Shepard had no idea what Liara had said in response to her question ... or if that was even a response. Maybe the asari had told her to pick up milk on the way home. Shepard shook her head; "You know it's not fair answering me in a language I don't speak."

"Dr. T'Soni," one of the workers on the buried skeleton called out as she entered the work area, further frustrating Shepard. "There is something different about this skeleton … it seems to be part bone and part metal."

The news excited Liara but she still carefully put away the scroll. Shepard followed Liara and the asari over to the partially revealed skeleton and as Liara bent down next to the remains, taking a brush out of her small pack and slowly brushing away the soil, Shepard said, "You know it's a little creepy that you are excited about bones."

Liara did not even hear Shepard as she inspected the skull of the dead … "This looks as if it was formed naturally."

"That is what I said," one of the asari workers seconded, "It is as if this species was born with this metal piece."

Shepard first looked at the fingers … metal finger tips. She then looked down and saw the metal emblem, ॐ. Shepard squatted down to get a better look; _It can't be_ … _it wasn't real._

Liara was on her knees, properly gloved and turning the skull to look at all sides of the metal mask-like plate. "This is amazing … I don't see any signs of grafting, soldering, plating … no pins, screws … nothing."

Shepard looked at what Liara was talking about and moved away from the dead … _the damned_, Shepard thought as she walked away from that reminder and towards the pool in the cavern. _There is no hope. We are heading straight for our destruction just like them. That dream was real. _

As Shepard looked at the clear pool she began to question why she was out here. Why was she running around the galaxy, blind and swinging in the dark when she should be with her family. _I won't let them die. I can save them at least. We can build an underground shelter ... Maybe if we build it deep enough …_ Shepard could feel the panic building in her and knew any minute she was going to start acting like that loon scientist on Eden Prime. _Jokes on you,_ Shepard told herself. _He was the only sane one that day_. Shepard could feel the wheels slipping … _Just take nice slow breaths, _she told herself as she reached down on her omni-tool and chose her song with Ricky.

The music was low … Mathis and Williams singing _Too Much, Too Little, Too Late _… Shepard closed her eyes, took a deep breath and told herself to _be the Marc Antony that you can be._

_I was a beautiful Cleopatra,_ Ricky could be heard to say in her mind.

Shepard smiled, _yes you were. You were always the perfect date._

_Are we having a break down?_ Ricky asked. _It doesn't fit you._

_That would be my bet,_ Shepard's mind answered as she opened her eyes and looked up at the stalactites. __If___ only ___you could see___ what I've seen with your eyes!_

Ricky laughed, _How many times did we watch that movie with your dad? Man, I loved Blade Runner._

_Love_, Shepard corrected the imaginary Ricky. She would not allow even fake Ricky to talk as if he was dead.

_Love_, Ricky said. _Even having a breakdown and you are still bossy._

Shepard saw herself turn in her mind to her best friend, _I can't do this anymore … I'm just a Highland Falls girl. There are smarter, tougher, braver people for this._

_Now look Shep-girl_, Ricky cut in, _you can't fall to pieces on me. I'm still out there somewhere. Your family also needs you …__and then there is that asari. _Shepard heard Ricky whistle and then … _I saw what you did to her. Yowza! Switched from being a closet krogan lover to the blue babes, huh? Does that make you a lesbian?_

_No and you loving them didn't make you straight … just weird,_ Shepard laughed and it caught the attention of Kryter who had just entered Level D.

"Commander Shepard?" Kryter yelled as he ran over with a fellow salarian.

"Hello again," Shepard said sincerely glad to see him.

The salarian with him shoved a copy of the book, 186 Hours, at her, "Commander Shepard ... would you mind signing my book?"

"Sure," Shepard smiled at the salarian as she took the book and pen from him, "Kryter … can you take me to the beacon?"

"Well," Kryter looked over where Liara was currently working, "I think that Dr. T'Soni wanted to be there."

Shepard finished signing the book and put her arm around Kryter, "Look … something might go wrong and I wouldn't want Dr. T'Soni to get hurt. It would be safer for her if she weren't there."

Kryter did not like the idea of disappointing Dr. T'Soni, but he also did not want her to get hurt, "Follow me."

Shepard looked over at Liara and hoped that this would not be their last time together … _What about me?_ Ricky asked as Shepard headed for the lift. _You need to stop watching me have sex._


	99. A Beacon, Band & Batty

Kryter, nervous, looked over at the human in the Level D lift with him. Dr. T'Soni was not going to be pleased that she had not been there when Commander Shepard first saw the beacon. But if the human was right then Kryter would do what was needed to keep Dr. T'Soni out of danger. Okay, he did have her go first in the tunnel … and to the beacon. He didn't say that he was brave. He just didn't see a reason to have here there if someone else, beside him, could take the risk … and who better than a SpecTRe? Right? Right?

As the lift stopped and they stepped out he began to wonder what could go wrong. Dr. T'Soni had found no traps in that chamber and the beacon just sat there. What was the human going to do with it? Set it on fire? Then he began to worry that he might be at risk of getting hurt. Could he get hurt? He looked at the SpecTRe and … Yep, he was a nervous and it was moving towards fear.

He might have stopped right there and had someone else take Shepard but he did like the way that some of the others stopped to look at the human ... and they saw her talking to him. Yes, the SpecTRe was hanging out with him and he felt a little important. He also needed to ingratiate himself with her because he had promised others that Shepard would tell a few war stories before she left … and he might have told others that they were friends. He thought about testing the waters as they stepped into the Level C lift but the asari that had entered with them had pressed against Shepard, pushing him to the back of the lift. No, it would be better to just ask her after they had seen the beacon.

* * *

><p>Liara had been brushing away the soil with the other two asari when the midmorning bell sounded. This would normally not stop Liara from what she was doing but Calandra had invited her to share sitruuna with her. As she stood up she remembered that she had left Shepard … but where? She looked around and not seeing her, began to worry a little. She asked those around her if they had seen the Commander and when she was told that she had left with Kryter … Liara relaxed a little. She thought that the salarian would just let Shepard tag along on his daily rounds. Nothing more. The salarian knew that Liara wanted to be there when Shepard saw the beacon so the idea that he would go behind her back and do, well what he was doing, never entered her trusting mind.<p>

As Calandra poured their cups, Liara thought of Shepard and her inquisitve nature, hoping that she did not touch anything that she shouldn't. The image of Shepard breaking one of the artifacts made her debate on sending an escort. Like Professor Henell, Liara always cringed when an inexperienced person was on a site ... and Shepard could be a destructive force. Her mind went back to Therum and that escort option was sounding necessary. Sometimes Liara thought that Shepard lived through touch as she watched her touch fabric, flowers, weapons, even water ... she did not just handle things, she had to really touch them. Always touching. Liara couldn't help but smile thinking of Shepard's child-like curiosity as she took a drink of her sitruuna ... and then she frowned just a little, _maybe an escort wouldn't hurt. _

* * *

><p>Shepard knew that Liara would be hurt and maybe even angry that she had been excluded from this moment. Shepard smiled as she saw Liara's cute asari glare. The first time that she had glared at Shepard was on Therum and the memory faded into the music of the Doors … Somewhere on Level C, <em>The Crystal Ship<em> was playing and as Morrison asked for another kiss before slipping into unconsciousness, Shepard was right there with him. She looked at the asari pressing against her on her right and while it made her skin crawl, she told herself that it didn't matter. Shepard was too busy worrying about what another asari was going to do to her if she lived through this experience. Being stuck in an elevator with four asari breathing down on her … _eh, nothing to this_._ I'm tempting the wrath of T'Soni_. Shepard looked up at the lift ceiling; _I will not risk you being hurt because of what I have to do._ And even if Shepard knew that it would not hurt her, she didn't want her there. If this second drink from the prothean fountain killed Shepard the last thing she wanted was Liara to be there and witness her final moments.

If she died … Shepard's mind went to her family. She knew that her grandma would be okay but her grandfather. She worried that old Jack would take it hard … she knew that she was his favorite. Not bragging, just the truth. Her daddy had told her that the first time Jack had met her, she was barely a year old. The little family had arrived in Savannah and Jack was nervous. He had not travelled to Mindoir with his wife and daughters to wait on the kid's birth because, well … birthin' was a woman's event. That was his excuse, anyway. Now was the moment of truth between Jack and his granddaughter. Pierce carried his daughter over to his father and Jack just knew that the baby girl was going to scream in horror at his gruff face. Instead, Shepard smiled and reached for him … love at first sight.

She thought of what she had told him and she hoped that he would stay strong. He had to. He would need to see that the family was prepared … _Prepared?_ That word left a bitter taste in her mouth. How did one prepare for what was coming? She heard herself laugh with bitterness as she moved towards the prothean amusement park ride. Shepard, trying to shake the maudlin, thought of the time that she and Manny had camped in the Big Bend National Park. They had not been together that long and this was one of their first weekend holiday trips together. She smiled at the memory of him doing his Popeye walk and the way his arms felt around her. There were times that she missed his touches, strength and support. She thought of them spending that weekend hiking together, her taking photographs and him mountain biking … At night they would cuddle next to the campfire, talking with fellow camp guests and looking up at the night stars. Life was easier then ... Safe.

* * *

><p>Liara poured another cup of tea for both her and Calandra as they discussed the design of the new amphitheatre in Messonia … They both agreed that the design was beautiful but the location was not quite right. Liara was enjoying the easy conversation as well as the comfort found with her own kind. Liara found Calandra attractive and while they touched in what humans would call flirtatious gestures; Liara would not let it go any further.<p>

Even if she had desired the touch of Calandra … Shepard had put a big human stop sign on Liara sharing pleasures with others. Not that Shepard had placed that condition on their relationship … Liara didn't even know what, if any, type of relationship Shepard saw for them. Liara wasn't sure what Shepard wanted, if anything. She just knew that she would not risk losing Shepard's favor because she had violated some human condition. Liara could almost hear her cousin scolding her for betraying her own emotions for Shepard but that was not true. Liara might have found Calandra appealing but she found Shepard intoxicating.

As Liara put her cup down, the air seemed to fill with static and everyone on Level D began to look around. Calandra was asking one of her crew what was going on just as a loud cracking sound like thunder seemed to come from everywhere. This made Liara jump as a few salarians gave out surprised screams. Liara stood up, knowing that this had something to do with Shepard. _What have you done now, Commander?_

As the murmuring of where this had originated began to bounce around Level D, Liara only needed to hear the word beacon and she cursed herself for not keeping a leash on Shepard. If she had not taken her eyes off the Commander, she scolded herself. And then there was Kryter. Why would he betray her and take Shepard there without her? He knew that she wanted to be there when Shepard saw it. Angry and concerned, Liara rushed to the lift with Calandra following close behind.

* * *

><p>Commander Shepard was crumpled on the ground like a rag doll that was dropped by a child. She was in a sitting position, one leg straight out and the other curled in, as her left foot was pressed against her inner right thigh. Her head was hanging down, hair hiding her face and her arms limp. Her right hand on the ground was palm side up and cupped, while her left hand was sitting on her left knee. One might think that she had fallen asleep until you moved closer and saw that she was bleeding from the nose and mouth … not to mention the breathing. Or lack thereof.<p>

Meanwhile, Kryter was crawling through the tunnel back away from the beacon chamber in a complete panic. He was cursing himself for not telling the SpecTRe, _no_. What would they do to him? He just knew that she was dead! D E A D! And he would be blamed! He was almost crying as he fell out of the tunnel and began racing around the cavern yelling for help. Help! H E L P! Seeing Avyn stepping out of the asari shower area he raced towards her and begged her to help. He knew that she had been a medic centuries past while serving in her city's military. As he pulled her towards the place of his doom, he tried to explain what happened but all she heard were yelps, blubbering and _how do you tell a SpecTRe, no?_

* * *

><p>There was the sound of the mazas fluttering overhead and water dripping somewhere deep in the chamber as Shepard sat abandoned. The beacon stood before her silent … the judge and the condemned left alone. It had waited for her all those thousands of years, keeping its secrets and once she was near it ... it was as if a dragon had woken. Kryter had stayed near the tunnel exit as Shepard walked to the beacon and he had wanted to tell her to stop … but he was afraid that it would make the beacon see him. He began to climb back into the tunnel as the beacon started to lick at Shepard with blue flames.<p>

The salarian watched, disbelieving, as the blue flames engulfed her and began to lift her. He screamed or at least went through the facial motions as his throat was closed off in terror. He just knew that the flames would reach for him as well … like an octopus. This image made him quickly crawl back into the tunnel. As he was almost halfway through to the other side, he heard the crack. He pantomimed another scream and moved even faster.

Shepard had felt more than heard the whispers coming from the beam as she crawled out of the tunnel. With the cipher, she thought that she understood some of the words but she wasn't sure … her head was starting to swim. With each step she felt her mind slipping away from her as her body was being pulled by an invisible force. Her skin began to sting and her blood felt as if it was starting to boil. As the beacon pulled her farther in, her body and mind wanted to fight it, just like the beacon on Eden Prime … _do not fight_, she told herself. She forced herself to keep her mind open, allowing the wasps that invaded her body to sting her over and over. She felt her heart swell to the point of bursting and her body was jerking as if she was some kind of grotesque human chime in a tornado. But she didn't fight it … she embraced the pain. She hoped that all the pain was her entry into death. That there would be no more fear. No more pain. No more anger. No more loneliness.

* * *

><p>Liara entered the chamber and felt her heart tightened as she saw Avyn performing chest compressions with mouth-to-mouth ventilation on Shepard. Kryter seeing Liara now in the chamber and looking at the Commander panicked once again. He raced over to her and began to ramble at a break neck speed about <em>the beacon … engulfed her … some type of energy … blue flames.<em> Liara listened as Calandra tried to reassure the salarian that they understood. It wasn't his fault. Kryter looked at Liara and she told him that everything would be fine … but she wanted to scream at him for showing Shepard where the beacon was. She wanted to show him what a graduate of the Elibio Academy could do when angered … she might even forego her biotics and use her hands. But she also knew how persuasive the Commander could be ... _Shepard, you cannot leave me._

Liara slowly moved towards Shepard as she looked up at the beacon. Silent and yet it accused her … this was all her fault. Liara had found it. Liara had brought Shepard to it. Calandra put her arm around Liara's waist and Liara politely stepped away. She was struggling on remaining in control and she did not want to be touched. She could hear Kryter telling someone what had happened and she knew that it wasn't his fault. It was hers. She should not have let Shepard out of her sight. Not trusted her. Looking down at the lifeless form, she cursed the skeleton that had taken her focus off Shepard.

Avyn began mouth to mouth again and Liara was grateful to her. Just an hour earlier and Liara had struggled with the thought of another asari touching Shepard and now she stood by as Avyn was trying to give her the kiss of life. Calandra looked at Liara who was watching the attempt to save her friend with complete calm. What Calandra did not know was that Liara had called upon the strength of Benezia to remain poised … stoic throughout it all. No matter how much she cared about Shepard, she was a member of the Corallium Circle. Her behavior in times of heartache, tragedy and loss were watched closely by her kind. She understood what was required of her and she would not dishonor her mother. But as she stood there calm in appearance, inside she was screaming to Shepard to wake up. She was screaming at Shepard to not leave her.

The room seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief as Avyn said that she had a pulse ... it was weak, but it was there. As Shepard began breathing on her own, Liara bent down next to her, touched her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I will not let you leave me ... not today."

* * *

><p>She was alone except that familiar rattling of the dice outside the tent. Shepard got up from the cot and walked to the flap … peering out she saw a blond man dressed in underwear, squatting and with his back to her. She could see that he was shaking his right hand, a nail sticking out of it, and as she got close he threw the three small bones on the ground just as he released a dove in his right. As she watched the dove fly into the midst of the mazas, he stood up and said, "Time to die."<p>

Shepard shook her head at Roy Batty and turned back towards the tent. She saw a streak of blue disappear inside and knew that it was wrong. Opening the flap, Shepard found two naked asari on the pallet ... her bed. She told them to leave and as she began to pull them apart, she saw that it was Liara on top of Calandra and she was kissing her … deep kisses. She grabbed her knife as Liara begged her to understand. What was there to understand? Shepard had asked her as she slit Calandra's throat.

Liara cried out and Shepard turned to see her run out of the tent. As Shepard chased Liara across the sand towards the cavern pool, four hooded men rose out of the water … Depeche Mode began to sing _Halo_. Shepard grabbed Liara, who was struggling to get away, and a voice whispered that _she must see that you know best_. Liara cried for Shepard to let her go but the voice told her that _she is yours _… Shepard agreed and began to carve her name in the asari's stomach … _Yes, claim her_, it whispered.

_I can give you all that you want,_ the voice promised. Shepard felt the voice understood and wished the asari would stop screaming … _you are helping her but she will not understand._ Shepard nodded, yes she was trying to protect the asari ... and as she finished with the carving and stabbed the knife in the sand next to her, she smiled at her handiwork. Across Liara's stomach was the name ShEpARd. But Liara was still screaming and pushing her away.

_She will destroy everything through her ignorance,_ the voice whispered. Shepard understood what she needed to do. It was for the best. She began to kiss Liara and then began choking her … _It is for the best ... sacrifices must be made. __She would cause the destruction of your family_. Shepard's tears over her sacrifice mixed with Liara's tears of fear as they struggled.

Shepard could feel Liara's hands grabbing at her … Desperate. Pleading. Dying. As she stopped moving Shepard rolled away from her and looked up to see the four hooded men standing over the body of Liara. Grief overcame Shepard as she watched the sand swallow her dead lover and Depeche Mode told her to _Enjoy The Silence_.

"Beware," Metentis told her as he knelt down next to her. "They distort the virtuous, bleed the innocent ... As the oily, black, rot of those to come worm into your mind ... this ..." he waved his hand at the Liara's blood, " ... this is is what they do … They corrupt you to silence what is your soul. The final harvest comes after this corruption."

Shepard looked at her hands and cried, "What have I done?"

"You cannot let them inside," Metentis told her as he put his hand on her shoulder. "They can twist you and as you watch … you will slay all that you love. You must stay vigilant or those corrupted will slay you."

"But I can't stop them," Shepard said, bitterly. "How can I stop what … what you couldn't? What the others couldn't? How do I even know who is corrupted? The asari didn't see her own mother's corruption."

Metentis stood up and pointed to the cavern ceiling … only now it was gone and Shepard could see the stars and planets. She stood up and watched as the lights started to disappear. One by one they began to go out. "This is your future … silence."

Shepard, angry, yelled over Depeche Mode, "Then why show me this? If all is without hope ... than leave me to my own fear. Leave me to march as they did before!"

"You must stop the cycle," he told her as he disappeared between Depeche Mode as they began _World In My Eyes_.

Shepard couldn't see him behind the hooded band but she still yelled at him, "I'm not what you think I am … I don't know how to stop this! You're going to have to find someone else."

"It must be you," Mentetis almost seemed to plead, still hidden. "You must make them see … make them hear."

"Hear?" Shepard wasn't going to listen to this madness anymore. The hooded metal man had somehow made her kill someone she cared about … No! She was officially checking out. Instead, she listened to the music and looking at the killing spot of Liara ... She pleaded, "Please God, let Liara still be alive. Let this be a dream."

* * *

><p>"She is dreaming," Dr. Chakwas said, looking at the Commander's closed eyes. "Let us hope that it is a pleasant dream."<p>

Liara looked at Chakwas, glad that she had arrived, "But she is going to recover?"

"Based on her readings," Chakwas answered, "I would say that she will be back to frustrating me … Whether that is good or not."

"How long will she be like this?" Liara asked, watching Kaidan take the Commander by her hand.

Chakwas looked at Liara as she put away her instruments, "How long ago did this happen?"

"Less than four hours," Liara answered, as Kaidan pulled the stool over to him and sat down next to Shepard.

"If this follows the pattern," Chakwas said, leading Liara out of the tent to give Kaidan time alone with Shepard. She knew that the Lieutenant cared about the Commander and she thought that he would be a good choice for her. "I would say that she will wake up within the next eleven hours ... if not then you must send for me."

Liara looked back at the tent, "Wrex said that she lost a friend?"

"Chief Williams," Chakwas answered, adjusting her sling. "We lost Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven on that same mission."

"I am sorry," Liara said, having liked the two medical personnel. Now Ashley Williams was another matter ... the two had a strained relationship. But Liara knew that the woman cared for Shepard and would have protected her to her death. That is what mattered to Liara. She also knew that the death of Williams would weigh heavy on Shepard. "Shepard never told me … she keeps everything inside."

"That is why she needs friends like us," Chakwas told her. "We need to be there when the dam bursts. Now, let us have tea as I bring you into a hush, hush agreement."


	100. Object d'Reaper

Liara was sitting at her desk, the daily report partially completed but her mind on the Normandy. Dr. Chakwas had given her a condensed version of what they had experienced since Liara had left. The last mission on Virmire had a devastating effect on the crew, this fact highlighted as Chakwas had to stop speaking a few times just to regain control. Liara understood her grief. She knew how Chakwas felt about her staff, about them being her responsibility and then here she had failed to keep them safe. Liara also recognized that Chakwas had relied on Dr. Bakari and that without him she had lost a support system in the medbay.

Chakwas had said that if Liara got tired of being underground, "You have a place in the stars … I have even stocked your favorite sitruuna leaves and purchased a tea set made in Serrice. Are you tempted?"

Liara had thanked Chakwas, touched by her words, but told her that she was needed there. She also believed that the Commander would not allow her to join them. If the Normandy was headed into more danger then, like the beacon, she believed that Shepard would refuse her.

Chakwas, disappointed, reached across the table and held her hands, "Well, if you change your mind … There are many on the Normandy that would love to see you back."

"Thank you," Liara smiled, "Please let everyone know that I am well and that I keep them in my thoughts."

Then there was Lt. Alenko … Kaidan had the appearance of a tormented man. Liara could see that he needed comfort and wished that she could help him. He was one of the few that she considered a friend on the Normandy. After sharing tea and conversation with Chakwas, they had returned to the tent where Kaidan was still holding Shepard's hand, head bowed. She wished that Shepard was awake. _She would know how to put him at ease_, Liara thought. If Shepard had been awake, she would have been angry ... but then, Kaidan would not have touched her.

Liara turned off the desk light, picked up the tumbler of whiskey and after turning on Akdhat's _EtZev_, sat next to Shepard on the stool. She could see that the human was dreaming and she was tempted to enter Shepard's mind … to see where she was. _Am I in your dreams_? She asked the sleeping lover. _Or is there someone else giving you comfort there? _

The flap to her tent opened and Calandra appeared with Avyn, who asked if she could check on Shepard. Liara nodded and stepped aside as Avyn bent over the Commander, "Has she opened her eyes?"

Liara shook her head, placing her drink on the desk … "Do you see any changes?"

"No change," Avyn answered, looking over at Calandra, "Please take Dr. T'Soni to the evening meal … I'll stay here with the Commander."

Liara had not eaten since the incident and had to admit that she needed to put something in her stomach. She put on her sandals and asked Avyn to come get her if the Commander woke up while she was away.

* * *

><p>"What's down there?" Silas Crosby asked as they moved slowly on a ledge overlooking a giant, gaping hole the size of a football field. The planet required him to wear his environment suit and the meteors slamming all around them made him cling tighter to the cliff. Then there was that sound. That gawd awful sound. Silas had always loved the sound that woodpeckers made … not today. The sound coming from that hole was a woodpecker amplified to shake the ground. With each knock, the ground shook, he clung and Wrex moved on. As they took two more steps, he thought he saw movement inside but … "Wrex! What is down there?"<p>

Wrex looked over at the human and could not believe that Shepard was one of them. As Silas slipped he thought, _weakness breeding weakness_. But now was not the time to curse other species, it was time to dispose of the octahedron object in the pack he was carrying. As he shifted his armor, he thought of Shepard's instructions; _We need a place where no one can ever find this … or even if someone did, they can't get to it._ He was at that place.

Known simply as Vota te hurgeye to the krogan and roughly translated meaning the well of Vota, he knew that no one would go there except to die. This was the place of an honorable death for many krogan. Warriors weary from living would come here seeking that final glorious battle while hopeless female krogans came here seeking peace through Vota's embrace. This was a holy place. A violent place. A place of hiding.

Silas began to slide and Wrex simply watched as the human struggled to get back up. He had no desire to help the weak ... and Silas to him was weak. All the way there the human had questioned what they were doing. Why they were going so far away from the Normandy. Why they just couldn't throw it out into space. The human had threatened to turn around more than once and had he tried, Wrex would have ripped his head off. He didn't need this weakling to fly the shuttle ... he knew how. He had flown longer than anyone on the Normandy had been alive. An asari had shown him how.

"Why didn't you help me?" Silas yelled over at the krogan. Silas, like many on the Normandy, were afraid of the krogan and did not understand why he had been allowed to stay. They had put a petition together but Chief Williams had quashed it, saying that the Commander had enough on her plate. That had surprised him and a few others, since they knew that she had felt the same. Ashley, protective over Shepard, had not bothered to tell them that she had already talked to Shepard. That was none of their business. Silas looked over at the krogan, _it was your kind that killed the Chief_.

Wrex ignored the question from the talJok as he looked down at his destination. Vota was more active than he remembered her being the last time he was there. That time he was escorting an old warrior to this place and watched as his friend surrendered to the glory. He had been honored to watch his friend die.

"Can't we just throw it from here?" Silas asked, slipping again. "Gaaaaa! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Wrex stopped and watched as he struggled up, slid down, struggled up. The meteor shower had become worse but Wrex was not going to let anything stop him from this mission being successful. He may not have seen what had slithered in Shepard's mind, but he could sense the taint in the metal object.

"The storm is getting bad!" Silas yelled down at him. "The shuttle may not survive this. We need to get back now!"

"Keep moving," Wrex growled at the human. It didn't matter if the shuttle was destroyed. It probably wouldn't survive the storm. It didn't matter. He may be stuck her. He may die here. It didn't matter. If those things happened, then that would be the price. He would not allow this corrupted thing to be anywhere but buried. He was doing this not for himself, not for Shepard but for Tuchanka. His time with Shepard was bringing him back to his roots. It was making him start to care again about his own people. That was her influence on him. She had awakened his pride and his love of all that was krogan.

* * *

><p>Shepard sat up slowly … Liara's tent. Dreams were usually left behind when she woke up but not this one. It sat heavy on her and she was afraid to look at where the pallet should be. Was she going to see an asari with her throat cut? She told herself that it was just a dream … <em>I'd never hurt Liara<em>. She took a deep breath and looked down at the pallet … empty. No blood stains. "Thank you, God," Shepard whispered, fighting back tears.

As Shepard stood up she saw her jeans and the military shirt on the stool. She wondered if Liara was planning on stealing her jeans now or had she left these here to dress Shepard? "I'm going with stealing," Shepard forced a laugh. _Where is Liara?_ She saw the bottle of Jameson and took a big good gulp before she got dressed. The sounds outside of the tent told her that people were going about their work and she wondered how long she had been out. She looked at the time and grabbed the whiskey bottle … almost twenty-four hours lost. Another quick drink and a brush and a drink and a ponytail and a drink … _Where is Liara?_

Shepard exited the tent and walked towards the cavern pool … _What did he say?_ Shepard remembered the brutality of her actions but was trying to remember what Metentis had told her. What he had shown her. Depeche Mode was buried but Roy Batty was just behind the veil of sleep and Shepard looked up towards the dove's flight. _Time to die_, Shepard lipped and then began to slowly walk towards the one thing that had not diminished or faded with consciousness. As she reached the spot, she squatted down and touched the sand … grabbing a handful and watching the sand slip through her fingers. _I would never hurt Liara. Never!_

* * *

><p>Avyn had stepped away to get a cup of kaffee and after finding the tent empty, began to look for Shepard. Liara had been needed on Level D that morning and asked if Avyn would stay with Shepard until she had returned. According to Liara, Shepard had regained consciousness, albeit not fully, around 0300 and asked for water. After drinking the water and another glass, she told Liara the following; Queen was amazing … "Bohemian Rhapsody! Mama, just killed a man …." And Ripley could shut down the reapers if she were there … "why isn't she here? Ripley?" Oh, and "the first Darren, definitely!" … then fell back into a sleep. Avyn asked if she knew what all that meant but both asari were left thinking it was code for something. Liara had written it down to try and decipher it later. Could this Ripley really help?<p>

Avyn saw the human bent down and looking up at the cavern ceiling as sand fell through her fingers. The asari knew that there was a darkness in this human and that if not controlled would destroy her. She had looked into her mind while Liara was having her evening meal and she had not made it too far when she felt the wall. She had started to try to get past it but there was something behind that wall … it told her to leave. It whispered and the words sliced through her. What was there would devour her mind if she continued ... That she did not belong. Avyn had moved within Shepard, not to spy or seek out her secrets. She had simply come to make sure that the human was mentally sound after the trauma. But now that she had felt just a hint of the darkness hiding there, she might have smothered Shepard to protect Liara. She would have if she had not felt the figure of light brush by her and tell her to go in peace, adding that Shepard was not to be hurt by any daughter of Thessia.

"Commander," Avyn approached the human cautiously.

Shepard looked up at the asari … silent.

The eyes seemed to tell Avyn that the human knew what she had done and it made her step back.

Shepard began to run her hands through the sand again, "I miss the beach."

"Do you know where you are?" Avyn asked, checking the human's mental state, as she looked at Shepard's bare feet.

Shepard nodded and stood up, "Not where I need to be."

* * *

><p>"I don't think that we should be here!" Silas screamed, as the ground shook for what seemed the millionth time. The krogan continued down and did not even hesitate when tentacles that looked more like leeches reached out … "Wrex!"<p>

The krogan moved to the edge of the well, challenging Vota, as Silas stood frozen twenty feet from him. In disgust at the cowardice he was witnessing, he growled, "Get over here!"

"I can't do this! I'm just a pilot!" Silas cried, having wet on himself in fear. Wrex watched as the human blubbered as he began to run back up the hill. "I wasn't assigned to do this! I'm just a pilot!"

Wrex dodged the tentacles and began to roar challenges at Vota. He was here to slam the object down the throat of Vota. He knew if it was deep in her belly it would never be seen again. "Vota! I have an offering for you! Vota!"

* * *

><p>Liara was just finishing the inventory of items that were packed and ready to ship when she saw Kryter running towards her. "The Commander is awake and not mad at me! She's not mad at me! She said that I was brave! Brave!"<p>

"Is Avyn with her?" Liara asked, putting down her datapad.

"No," Kryter, looking happy and almost dancing about, answered. "Avyn said that she appeared to be well enough to be on her own."

"On her own?" Liara did not want Shepard on the loose. Unattended.

"Avyn said that she was well," Kryter said, following Liara to the lift. "And the Commander said that she would tell a few stories this evening before she leaves. Stories of Elysium!"

_The Commander is leaving?_ Liara felt her heart drop … she didn't want her to leave. She wanted her to stay and … and … Liara knew that Shepard could not stay. Saren and the reapers had to be stopped. Liara was just hoping that she could find this Ripley to help Shepard.

* * *

><p>Wrex was limping up the hill, slime all over him … object d'reaper delivered, Tuchanka style.<p>

"Holy shit!" Silas said, looking back at the hole of that monster.

Wrex had waited for Vota to appear and he had taken the object and shoved it down her throat. Shoved it so far that it pulled him in as well, but he had expected that. As he struggled against the muscles in her throat that were pushing him down inside her, he began to doubt that he would make it back out. But he was willing to risk it.

Silas had watched it all and it had made him respect the krogan. He was worried that Wrex had died when Vota had disappeared back into the void … but then Wrex crawled out of the hole. Silas might have run down to help him up but he was not going anywhere close to that thing. He had never seen anything like it and could not explain what that grotesque creature looked like even if he tried.

As the two began to move along the ledge heading back to where they had left the shuttle, Silas began to talk about how the guys back on the Normandy wouldn't believe what he had just saw. Wrex holding that object, diving into that thing and … "You crawled out!"

Wrex was silent as he looked at the human blabbering on about the battle.

"No one will believe that!" Silas said, relieved it was almost over.

Wrex took two steps towards Silas and knocked him over the ledge. No one was going to know where they had taken that object … no one. In that, he and Shepard agreed. He also knew that Shepard would not approve of this but it was for the best. He would just never tell her. As he looked at the human sliding towards the Vota te hurgeye, Wrex asked Vota to forgive the waste that he had just sent her. This death was too much of an honor for the talJok.

"Oh, god!" Silas screamed, clawing at the ground racing past him. "Wrex! Wrex! Help!"

As the human slid down the cliff towards Vota, Wrex sat down on the ledge. Silas continued to struggle at stopping himself but the ground was like sand. His suit began to tear and he screamed … screamed ... screamed. His screams increased in volume as he saw the tentacles followed by the mouth of Vota.

Wrex waited until Vota slipped back into the hole, fed, and then headed for the shuttle.

* * *

><p><em>There is peace in the time of trouble,<em>

_There is peace in the midst of the storm,_

_There is peace though the world be raging,_

_In the shelter of His arms._

Liara stopped just outside her tent. listening to Shepard singing an old hymnal that the human had grown up with. She peeked in to see her sitting on the cot, barefoot and in her stolen military shirt that was not even tucked in. Liara had never seen Shepard looking that casual in clothes … she was a button down, shirts tucked in and shoes on the feet person. Or at least what she had seen of her. As Shepard stood up, she could see that only two buttons on the shirt were even used and that she had a bottle of whiskey in her left hand and the cap in her right. _Are you drunk?_

As Shepard continued to softly sing to herself, Liara slipped into the tent. Shepard turned to see her and smiled. Liara felt her heart swell at the way that Shepard had looked her. She knew that she should yell at her … tell her that she was wrong for going to the beacon without her! That she had hurt her feelings. But instead she secured the flap closed and watched as Shepard took a drink and continued her little song.

Shepard had always found music to be her healing medicine. It was something that her father and mother had passed down to her and she wished that she had a guitar. She wished that her father was there to play with her and tell her that everything would be okay. That she was the daughter of the Preacher Woman and that there wasn't anything that could stop her. _Are you kidding me?_ She heard him say. _Why, you are Mal Reynolds with her own firefly ready to slaughter the reavers. No problem._ She wished that her mother was there to give her counsel. He mother might have told her that she should not stumble in faith. _Remember my Whisper … he will not forsake you. He trained your hands for war, your fingers for battle. He is your fortress, stronghold, deliverer and your shield. _"… in whom I take refuge, who subdues people under me," Shepard finished the verse and took a drink. The preacher woman would not want Shepard in battle, she knew that. But given the circumstances she hoped that her mother would understand … that she would have forgiven her.

The sight of Liara had both shamed and pleased her. She hoped that with a slight whiskey buzz that her pain would be invisible. Liara sat down at her desk and Shepard, still singing, swayed to her and putting down the cap and whiskey … she began to take off Liara's shirt. Liara said that Shepard needed to take it slow, to rest, after what had happened, but Shepard was not looking for sex. She had to see. She had to know that her sleeping sins were hidden. That her hand that had been raised against Liara was invisible … that it was locked in that other world. As she opened the asari's shirt, Liara reached out to her, still in misunderstanding. Shepard shook her head, stepping between Liara's legs and pulling the shirt open almost broke down in tears. Exposed was a beautiful asari stomach that unlike her body was clean of any scars … But that isn't what made her almost cry out. Shepard did not see what she had feared … her name. Shepard placed her hand on Liara's stomach and put her head down, "Thank you, God."

Liara put her hand over Shepard's and began to tell her how she felt in her soft language. She knew that the Commander would not understand but it was only in the language of her home that she knew how to truly express herself. It was in that tongue that her emotions could flow and even then words could fail at times. As Liara spoke in hushed tones, Shepard pulled Liara closer and hugged her. She fought back the tears of relief and gratitude as she held her tight. Liara was whispering softly to her and she was finding it harder to keep her emotions in check.

Shepard, fearing that she would break down, pulled away, "I know, I know. I'm the smartest person you have ever known. Matriarchs appear silly next to me."

Liara gave a frown, finding humor at the expense of the Matriarchs unacceptable, "Shepard, we do not speak of the Matriarchs that way."

"I'm sorry," Shepard could see that she had upset Liara. "Forgive me and my ignorant human ways."

Liara softened, "How do you feel?"

"Fine," Shepard said. "I should let you get back to work."

"Kryter said that you are leaving this evening," Liara said, hiding her anxiety of seeing Shepard go.

"I need to get back," Shepard nodded. "The Normandy needs servicing on the Arc, Saren is somewhere out there moving forward and then there is Wrex and my flight officer, Crosby."

Liara stood up from the chair and fought from begging her to stay, "Of course."

Shepard watched as Liara began to tuck the shirt into her jeans and wished that she could take her with her. But the thought of Liara being in the middle of it all … no, she had already suffered enough. She had paid one of the ultimate prices by watching her own mother die before her eyes. But Shepard also did not want to leave her.

"When will you leave?" Liara asked, her hands frozen in place and her voice slightly cold.

Shepard took Liara's hands, "I don't want to leave … but I have to, Liara."

"But why tonight?" Liara said, her voice betraying her.

Shepard, trying to lighten the mood, smiled and looked up, "So I did please you."

Liara refused to be sidestepped, "Why tonight?"

"Liara ... I ... I," Shepard could see that Liara was begging her to stay and it broke her heart. "If I stay tonight, do you promise that we can freeze Kryter's underwear and …"

"Yes," Liara smiled.

"Aaaand," Shepard looked up into her eyes, " … that you will slip out early in the morning and allow me to wake up, pack and leave without having to see or say goodbye to you?"

"Shepard," Liara didn't want Shepard to leave at all.

Shepard shook her head, "Promise, Ms. T'Soni."

Liara could see that Shepard would not accept anything less and nodded, "I promise."

"Good," Shepard kissed her on the nose. "Now go to work and make us money. I have expensive tastes."

"Shepard," Liara did not want to waste any time left that she had with Shepard. She did not want to leave that tent. She did not care what items were outside of their little world.

"No," Shepard laughed, pushing her to the exit. "I need to get my strength back … I have a feeling that I'm going to need it tonight."

Liara stopped at the tent flap, "We are not really going to freeze …"

Shepard cut her off with laughter, "Go to work, T'Soni."

* * *

><p>Wrex had expected this … the shuttle had sustained heavy damages and a meteor was sitting inside the cabin, via the roof. He was going nowhere in this pile of metal, meteor and fire. Nowhere. But he had expected this to be a mission of no return. He sat down on the ground, looking out at the valley of craters and hoped that his pup would understand. He knew that she would know he had not deserted her … that he had died completing the mission. Completing it!<p>

Wrex gave a snort as he thought about all that he had survived; Thresher maw, Aleena, Vota, so many battles … so many females … then there was that ardat-yakshi. His mind went back to that blue succubus that had promised him pleasures. She had cured him of all things asari. If Aleena had not entered to fulfill a contract on that demon … he gave another snort. Aleena had been surprised to find Wrex naked and about to be dessert. She had never let him live that down. That battle was also one of the hardest and longest that he had been involved in. Not as long as the one with Aleena ... but then there were two of them against that succubus. He was grateful that Aleena had been there to save him twice that day. The ardat-yakshi had lifted him up and he could feel her mind slipping into his when Aleena crushed her skull … he missed that tough bitch. He wished that he had brought her into Shepard's life to take his place. She was the only person that he saw as his equal … the pup given enough time and training would never be close to them but she would never quite trying. He admired that and he knew that she would succeed. She had to.


	101. Ticket to Ride

Standing on the rock and looking out over the CIC area … it felt good. This was Shepard's favorite place on the Normandy. She loved to watch her staff move around her and function like a well-oiled machine. There was no hand holding needed with this crew. They were trained professionals with at least one tour of duty under their belt. A great majority of them had also seen action before the Normandy, a requirement that Anderson had been adamant about. The Captain had made sure that everyone assigned to the Normandy was at the top of their field, tested under fire and it showed. _Anderson_. Shepard knew that he would not have given up his command easily. No Captain in his place would have. This was the type of ship and personnel that every Captain would have dreamed of. She also knew that if given the opportunity, Anderson would take this command back. She also recognized that he would have taken her place if he could.

_Once Saren and the reapers are stopped_, she thought as she looked at the map, _I'll see that you have your ship back, Captain. _Shepard meant it. If she was going to continue as a SpecTRe after all of this madness, she knew that she would need complete autonomy. She wanted it. There were already meetings, parties and functions that she was being scheduled to attend by either Senator Varus' office or the Alliance brass. The Normandy was not freedom but a leash and at times chokehold to the Alliance. This did not mean that she did not respect the Systems Alliance. She understood that they represented and protected humanity in this new age, something that she hoped she also did in her role as an agent to the Council. But in order for her to do this successfully, she needed to stand separate from them. That would not be possible as long as she had that Alliance collar around her neck. But before she would make any type of decision, she would seek the counsel of both Tevos and Valern. As far as Councilor Sparatus … she had the feeling that he was the odd man out. His opinion would carry no weight in the end and he had already showed that he disapproved of her. Then there was Wrex. She needed to get input from him as well. He knew what was out there and the dangers better than anyone. She hoped that she could talk him into staying with her for at least a year. Then if he wanted to go his own way … she would understand. The thought of him not being with her was not something she wanted to think about ... _Get back here, Beast_.

And what of Liara? She thought of the asari on bended knees happily brushing dirt and laughed. A few heads turned to look up at her and she pretended to not notice. _Liara_. She did not know how deeply she felt about the asari, or if the relationship was built on guilt. But if she found that she loved her, a thought that scared Shepard … what would that mean? Acknowledging an asari as her companion could politically hurt her within the Alliance and society back home. She also did not know how Liara's family would accept her. Yes, Aika had a human companion but Shepard still worried. Then there were their different responsibilities and life choices. Shepard knew that they would have to steal their moments. But would that be enough for either of them? Or did Liara even want a relationship? The asari confused her. There were times that Shepard felt that Liara cared then the asari would disappear or seem to forget that she existed. Hell, bones had made Shepard feel invisible to Liara. Then there was the time on Quana … that drove home the point that they were different. Sibila and Ipomona was a lesson in and of itself … Listening to those two made her realize that the asari saw relationships different and that they judged commitment on a different scale. Shepard wanted Liara in her life but she didn't. What if Liara was just like Sibila in attitude? She wasn't sure if she could just stand by as Liara chose someone else to her share her bed. Shepard would rather walk away.

As Shepard pulled up her Alliance mail, she contemplated sending a message to Liqiu Zhào for assistance. With Liqiu's experience, maybe she could help Shepard successfully navigate the Thessian seas. But would that be considered inappropriate? _Aaargh!_ Shepard hated all these questions and emotional insecurities and … and … what did she want? What did Liara want? Shepard looked over at one of her servicemen and wished that Liara had been a nice male human named Bob. That would dispose of all these questions, confusion and self-doubt. But then Bob wouldn't kiss like Liara or whisper to her in that soft foreign tongue. _Scratch that!_

Shepard's thoughts were interrupted by her Yeoman and the work at hand. Yes, it was good to be back even if the future was thrust violently at her feet or that she was spiraling towards a madness that seemed hopeless. The visions were clear, but she only grasped that they spoke of the impending harvest. That the last cycle was devoured … lost … and that this was a warning to her cycle. What was in those visions was brutal, hopeless and uncensored. It contained images of cities being burned down, its occupants being crushed as voices screamed a warning … they were next. Shepard knew that there was more in that vision but her mind was keeping it from her. As if it knew that she would lose all her marbles if the lid was completely opened. Shepard told herself that she would not let the weight crush or paralyze her. She would find a way to stop what was coming. There was no one else that she could hand this to. Who would believe what she was saying anyway? No. Shepard had decided to not share what she had seen to anyone until she had no other option. She had to find proof. Rock solid proof. She had to be able to bring supporting evidence or she would come off sounding as mad as Dr. Manuel. If she didn't, the image of her racing before the Council, drooling out the words; _We have unearthed the heart of evil … awakened the beast. Unleashed the darkness! _Yeah … uh, no. It would neither convince nor make a pretty sight.

_Wrex._ Shepard had sent him on a mission that she hoped was not a foolish one. What if that thing had corrupted both Wrex and Crosby before they disposed of it? Right now those two could be flying around, eyes empty and doing as the puppet master wants. That thought made Shepard shiver. No. Wrex would dump it before that had happened. _Damn it, Beast! Where are you? I need you._ That object pulled from Virmire might have been the proof she needed. But she also knew that it would have slithered into their minds, persuading them, seducing them ... right before it turned them into corrupted, rabid dogs. Then the question that had been on her mind came rolling back at her; _Why didn't it try and corrupt me? _

* * *

><p>The bridge was active and open to non-essential personnel given it was not a time of combat, landing, departing or running silent. Not that the bridge personnel stopped monitoring or shirked their duties. It was just a more relaxed environment as they played cards on pull-up screens, ate candy bars, listened to music and chatted. This was the time that the Commander may visit while Pressly would be the person to enter this area during all other times.<p>

Pvt. Satake, finished with his duties, entered the bridge where the Beatles' were singing _Ticket to Ride_, while Joker and Helen Lowe argued over which was the best sci-fi film ever and Kaidan sat reading Dalai Lama's _How to See Yourself As You Really Are_.

Kaidan was trying to find his center. He not only had his Virmire demon but he was also headed back to Grace and the pregnancy. She had sent him a message that she had chosen an apartment for them and he would need to sign for it once back on the Arc. It was a three bedroom apartment near her place of employment and not too expensive. She had also contacted his parents and that had created another level of stress. They were headed to the Arc to meet the mother of their future grandchild. Kaidan was choking and had nowhere to escape. The noose was just getting tighter.

"Hey Allie," Helen greeted, bringing Kaidan out of his sinking feeling of despair.

"Any word yet from Silas?" Satake asked, grabbing one of Helen's lemon drops. He and Chase were missing Wrex, but Satake knew that the bridge was closer to the Flight Officer Crosby.

"Nothing yet," Kaidan answered, as he looked up from his book.

"Where do you think they are?" Satake asked, sitting in the empty chair behind Kaidan.

Kaidan swung the chair around to face Satake, "No one knows."

"Not even the Commander?" Satake looked at Kaidan, Joker and Helen dumbfounded.

"Shepard knows," Joker said, unable to believe that she would send one of them and a krogan off in an expensive shuttle … blind, "Trust me, she knows. There isn't anything that goes on in this ship that she doesn't know."

Kaidan looked down at his book, "I don't know about that."

"What?" Helen took off her ear piece. "What doesn't she know?"

"Nothing," Kaidan answered, looking around at the others and sighing. "I just meant that it would be hard to hide things on a ship … maybe a day or so, but she would find out sooner or later."

"I don't know," Helen popped a lemon drop in her mouth. "We hid a krogan from salarians on this ship."

"Wrex can outsmart anyone," Satake said, chomping on the lemon drop.

"That krogan scares me," Helen said.

"Wrex?" Satake shook his head. "He wouldn't hurt any of us … he just squashes the bad guys."

"Yeah, well," Joker said, not believing that Satake could be so comfortable around that one ton killing machine. "You play with your life … if he bumps into you … they will have to scrape you up."

"You just don't know Wrex," Satake defended the krogan. "The Commander trusts him too."

"I don't know," Helen said. "I mean, that's a lot of trust to have that shuttle go somewhere without control. Silas didn't even know why they were leaving … just that it was classified and the location would be revealed after departure."

"I call B.S.," Joker said. "The Commander knows where they were going and why. I would even bet that the old man knows too."

"Pressly might know," Helen agreed. "Maybe that's why he has been a little nervous lately."

Kaidan turned his seat around, tightened his lips and pretended to go back to his reading as the others talked conspiracy. This did not surprise Kaidan. Joker saw a conspiracy in everything and on occasion Helen would call him Mulder. Of course, that had Joker calling her Scurvy, instead of Scully. _Joker._ Kaidan shook his head as the theories on what the krogan's mission was and how Silas would tell them when he returned was discussed. Kaidan hoped that Silas wouldn't confide in them, although he feared he would … because Shepard would kill him.

* * *

><p>Shepard looked over at Pressly and he was smiling. Now that the Normandy was returning to the Arcturus Station, there was excitement in the air as people were looking forward to a little R&amp;R. Those that had family on the Arc were even more cheerful and laughter could be heard throughout the ship. No one had forgotten their recent loss but these men and women understood that they had to carry on ... that they had to honor those that had died by living. They would also show honor by stopping Saren. Victory would be the flowers that they laid on the graves of their fallen. Nothing less would be satisfactory to any of them.<p>

Pressly looked up at the Commander, happy to be on his way to Esther and also glad to see the Commander smiling. He wasn't alone. The crew loved it when she was in a good spirit. This made her more playful and a good unpredictable. Just that morning she had playfully broke out singing _Inka Dinka Doo_ as Pressly tried to get her back to business. Shepard demanded the best from her crew but she could also be counted on to lighten the mood. The CIC crew had noticed how the Commander looked better than she had in a long time. There was a twinkle and a glow to her. It was true. But they would never guess the reason for the change.

Standing on the rock and focused on her duties, Shepard still missed Liara. She wished that she had brought the asari with her … but she told herself that this was better. Liara was safe. The asari was not only safe, but where she was the happiest. Or at least happier than when she was on the Normandy. Living on a ship was hard and given the asari's need for privacy, this was not the place. Privacy was a commodity that most on the ship did not have. Liara was better off there … Shepard just had to keep her mind from straying to Calandra. Shepard rubbed her temples, _Calandra_. She still believed that she saw an attraction between the two and it drove her crazy. She could never compete against an asari. But then that led back to her dream and Shepard could not let herself relive that. When that image began to surface she would pull her mind to John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara in _The Quiet Man_. That is how that dream should have played out, so Shepard would do a mental cut and paste to combat the real version.

_Don't think about that_, Shepard told herself as she pulled up the map and looked at the Arc. Two days and they would be nesting … _Two days_. Shepard wished that they were already there. It was a feeling that she shared with almost all of the Alliance crew. All but Kaidan. He would have preferred heading to Wetrot over the Arc.

Shepard, feeling a little impish, patched into the bridge, "Lt. Moreau."

"Yes, Commander," Joker responded almost instantly.

"I have an issue that only the bridge can assist me with," Shepard said, winking down at one of her CIC personnel.

"Of course," Joker sounded overly confident as a few groans were heard in the CIC. Shepard knew that her lead pilot was not the most loved … or even liked. She wished that he would be just a little humble and not as abrasive but … he was what he was. She liked him, although she wasn't quite sure why.

"I have a deep desire for a thick steak with onions, baked potato with all the fixin's … oh, and an ice cold Heineken at the Thirsty Turtle," She said, as if discussing a serious destination.

"We will have you there in just under forty-eight hours," Joker cockily responded.

"See, that is the problem," Shepard put her finger to her lips … hushing the CIC who had started to laugh. "I would like that for breakfast. Now, Pressly says that this is impossible … what say you?"

Silence.

The CIC broke out in laughter as Shepard looked down at Pressly, "You think that gained us half a day travel time?"

"I hope so, ma'am," Pressly answered, wanting to see his Esther.

Shepard stepped off the rock, a bounce in her step. Like Pressly, she had loved ones waiting for her and she had missed being with her family. It had been too long. She knew that being with her fellow Shepard gals would include catching up on family news, cooking, reminiscing, watching old movies and drinking wine … and hugs and kisses and love. Shepard needed this to remind her why she could not fail. She had to see that her family and loved ones were not lost. She could not have her breakdown at this time. _After you defeat the reapers_, she had promised herself, _you can go bat shit crazy … but only after your family is safe._

Having given Pressly additional instructions, Shepard walked him over to the rock, "she's all yours ... Treat her with care."

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly couldn't help but grin at her. Yes, sir ... he was more than glad to see his Commander in great spirits. He knew that she had a lot on her shoulders and he tried his best to relieve some of that burden from her. But he knew that even with his help, she was carrying a heavy load.

"Try and not work too late," Shepard said, patting him on his back.

Pressly nodded, "No, ma'am. Are you going to your quarters?"

"Not yet," Shepard answered, looking at the sports news feed downloaded on her datapad. "I thought that I would head down and see Adams."

"Engineering then," Pressly nodded and walked up onto the rock.

"Engineering," Shepard repeated, narrowing her eyes. It seemed that Pressly had become very interested in her movements since she had returned to the Normandy. She knew that he worried about her but he had also seemed a little nervous as well. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly answered, quickly turning to the map.

* * *

><p>"Do you think that we should bake a pumpkin pie?" Mel asked her mother, picking up a Libby's pumpkin pie filling can. "It won't be completely home made, but I don't think Eli would care."<p>

Elizabeth looked up from the freshly baked bread and shook her head, "We already have the ingredients for the French apple pie. Let's not try and put twenty pounds on her while she is with us. She will never invite us back here."

Mel put the can of the filling back and began to look at the bottles of wine, "Did she say what time she would be landing?"

"No," Elizabeth shook her head as she chose a sourdough loaf, "So let's be prepared for a morning arrival. I have eggs and potatoes … did you get the bacon?"

"Not yet," Mel answered. "Did she say who she was inviting to her dinner party?"

"She mentioned Rose Stuart and her daughter," Elizabeth answered. "You remember Rose … that nice girl she went through her training with."

_As long as it's not that loud one_, Mel thought as she looked at the bread. "Did she mention anyone named Liara?"

"Liara?" Elizabeth smelled the coffee beans. "No. Should I know her?"

"Excuse me," a woman, holding a bag of groceries, approached Elizabeth.

"Yes?" Elizabeth smiled at the stranger, dropping the bag of coffee beans in her hand basket.

The woman seemed a little nervous as she said, "I was just informed at the counter that you are the grandmother of Commander Shepard."

"Yes, she is," Mel, normally shy, answered as she stepped closer to her mother. She knew that there were people that did not like her niece. There were people that called her ugly names. Names like the butcher of children. Mel did not know if this woman belong to that crowd and if she did ... she did not want her mother attacked either verbally or physically. "How can I help you?"

"My name is Barbara Moreau," the woman shifted the bag to one side and extended her hand to Elizabeth, "… my son, Jeff, is a pilot on the Normandy."

Mel relaxed as her mother smiled and shook the woman's hand, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Barbara. My name is Elizabeth and this is my daughter, Melanie Shepard."

"If you don't mind me asking," Barbara began, shifting her bag to the other side. "Will you be here on the Arc long?"

"Just six more days," Elizabeth answered. "We had planned on leaving earlier, but with Elizabeth delaying her return here … I wasn't going to leave with seeing my baby girl. I just hate being away from our home. I left my husband un-chaperoned, which was not wise. He has probably burned our house down by now."

Mel laughed at her mother's humor, "Let's hope not, momma."

Barbara said that if they had time, she would like them to attend a dinner at her home, "With our kids coming back, I was hoping to throw a small dinner party for my son. Please consider attending."

Elizabeth readily agreed as Mel looked at her mother disapprovingly. It was not that she did not like this woman but more that Shepard might not want to spend time with this pilot in her off hours. But as everyone under the Elizabeth Shepard umbrella learned … she set the plans and you followed. This law applied to her granddaughter as well ... even if she was Commander Shepard, an agent of the Council.

As Barbara Moreau left the two women, Elizabeth looked at her daughter, "What was with that look for?"

"Momma," Mel tried to explain, "Eli may not want to spend a dinner with this pilot. You cannot make plans for her … we don't even know how long she will be here."

"Do not scold me," Elizabeth gave her daughter a light pat on the arm. "I am her grandmother … if one of Shepard's soldier's has a mother invite us to dinner, we accept. No matter where we are, we are first and foremost southern women. Rudeness and impolite behavior belongs to those other places."

"But momma," Mel tried to explained, "We are not talking about some classmates at Eli's school … we are talking about Alliance people. They might have rules about fraternization … or something. By accepting that woman's dinner, you could be putting Eli on the spot. She might get into trouble."

"Lil'Bit is a SpecTRe," Elizabeth said, moving to the produce. "According to Jack … she can blow up a planet if she wants. So I suspect that having a dinner with a pilot would be acceptable."

"But you don't know that," Mel continued. "Just promise me that you will accept no more play dates for Eli. She might also have her own plans."

"Do we have onions at the apartment?" Elizabeth asked, signaling that she was done talking about it.

"Momma," Mel gave a sigh, knowing that it was a losing battle.

* * *

><p>After leaving the CIC, Shepard had checked in with Adams and the engineering team. They always seemed excited to have her in their area and Tali would talk non-stop if not performing one of her cirque de Quarian acts. After performing an inspection with Adams, reviewing the maintenance schedule planned on the Arc and the inventory needing replenished, along with cost … Adams walked Shepard out of his area.<p>

As they exited engineering, Adams mentioned that there was a match scheduled between two of Lt. Girard's men later that evening and that the odds were pretty lopsided. "If that Cruz boy beats Washington … one could get rich."

"That unlikely, huh?" Shepard arched a brow. "I might need to talk to Cruz."

"Washington has a few pounds on that boy," Adams told her. "I'm afraid he has no hope."

"I don't believe in no hope," Shepard said. "Put this on Cruz … I'll give the boy a pep talk."

Adams looked at the amount, "It's your loss, Commander."

"Just place the bet," Shepard told him. "Remember, I've beaten a lot of bigger and brighter. Cruz is going to take down the giant."

Shepard had time before the match to get in a few laps in the endless pool after jogging three miles on the treadmill. After her shower in the gym, Shepard sat next to Girard and Adams to watch the match. Shepard looked at the boxing ring and thought of Ashley. This is where she had loved Ash the most … Boxing gloves, sweating and taunting each other. She smiled at the memory of Ash calling out to her; _feel like a beating, Skipper?_

Now as the match started between Cruz and Washington, Adams caught Cruz looking towards Shepard and smiling ... The mouth guards in, boxing gloves up, the bell and they were off.

"That boy is going to regret this match," Girard said, "Washington was an amateur boxer before the Alliance."

"Here," Adams handed his coffee cup of moonshine to Shepard, "You might need this."

Shepard took a drink, as Girard lit up a cigar, "I'm feeling richer already."

"Don't count your chickens," Shepard told him as she took his cigar. She had given the young man a _kick his ass_ talk earlier … he would beat his opponent or die trying.

In the third round, after much screaming, pounding, swearing, bleeding … Shepard was smiling, Washington was on the mat and Cruz was dancing around the ring, waving at Shepard.

"Well, I'll be …" Adams could not believe that Cruz had won.

"And that is how it is done, gentlemen," Shepard smiled. "Adams, would you be so kind to give half of my winnings to Cruz … without his knowing it was my money, of course. Give monsieur Didier Girard the credit. I'll pick my half up later. Now I must congratulate Cruz and tell Washington that he fought a great fight."

As Shepard walked away from them saucily, the two men shook their heads as they discussed how much money both of them had lost on the match. _Yep_, Shepard laughed to herself, _like_ _stealing candy from babies ... E__asy__**-**__peasy-lemon-squeezy._

* * *

><p>After spending time with both boxers, Shepard headed upstairs to the mess hall for a late evening meal. She knew that there would be limited choices given the lateness of the hour, but all she really wanted was a Coke, chips and bologna and cheese sandwich.<p>

The tables were fairly empty, with a few huddled together as they played cards. As Shepard looked at her sandwich choices, sad to see only ham and cheese sandwiches left, she caught Nurse Wilma Hudson getting up from a table and walking briskly into the medbay.

Shepard, ever the curious, couldn't help but follow her to see what was happening and upon entering the area, saw the sleeping quarter's door shut as Chakwas stood up. "Commander!"

"Doctor," Shepard looked towards her sleeping quarters and down at her desk.

"Will there be anything else, Dr. Chakwas?" Nurse Hudson asked nervously as she stood by the first biobed in the medbay.

"Give me one second," Chakwas told her, moving around her desk and blocking the two tea cups and the Thessian tray set. "What are you doing here so late, Commander?"

"Oh," Shepard began to slowly move towards the back of the medbay. "I was just in the area, browsing. And what are you doing this fine evening, Doctor?"

"Just having tea and finishing up paperwork," Chakwas answered, moving slowly towards her sleeping quarter's door. "I sent you my expense report … so you may want to go review it before the staff meeting in the morning."

"That's quite considerate of you," Shepard said, shadow dancing towards the back with the doctor. "Don't let me interrupt your tea time."

"No," Chakwas tried to subtly motion for Hudson to take the tray set. "I was just finishing up."

"Two fisted drinker?" Shepard asked, looking at the two coffee cups and one was sitting the way an asari might put it down. "You must have been really thirsty."

Nurse Hudson piped up that it was her cup as Chakwas blocked the door, "Commander, would you like to share some Serrice Ice Brandy with me?"

"That is really kind of you," Shepard said, prying Chakwas away from the door. "But first, I would like to see what is behind door number uh-oh."

Shepard opened the door as Hudson gave a small squeal and Chakwas took a deep breath. Nothing.

"Are you sure that you don't want to share a drink with me?" Chakwas said, trying to get Shepard out of the room. "I just remembered that I have whiskey."

"Tempting," Shepard smiled as she looked at the door to the head. "Would it happen to be an olly olly oxen free whiskey?"

"Commander," Chakwas stood in front of the door. "Nurse Mei is in there."

"Dr. Chakwas!" Nurse Mei called out in the other room as Chakwas turned pale.

Shepard looked at Chakwas, eyes telling her to step aside, "I think this is where I say … the jig is up."

"Commander," Chakwas started to protest, but realized that there was no way out. She stepped to the side and watched Shepard open the door and look in.

Shepard saw Liara standing in the shower, speechless, and it took all of the Commander's strength to not crack up in laughter. But she also could not let them know that she was glad … happy … to see Liara. No. That would not do at all. Shepard turned to her Chief Medical Officer, "Did your shower come with an asari? God knows mine didn't."

"An asari?" Chakwas began to back out of her quarters. "Why, no. You must be tired, Commander. Side effects from that beacon, I would guess."

"And yet she feels so real," Shepard said, pulling Liara out of the shower.

"Strange, isn't it," Chakwas was now at the door. "Let me get you some medicine to deal with your hallucination."

"I think it might be you two that needs medicine shortly," Shepard threatened.

"Well, I'll just go and get some painkillers," Chakwas said, waving Liara to come with her.

"Don't move!" Shepard was struggling to keep from laughing, "Anyone care to explain this?"

"No," Chakwas answered, looking at Liara. "We don't see a need to explain. Right, Dr. T'Soni?"

"This is my fault," Liara said almost in a whisper. "I made Doctor Chakwas …"

"No," Chakwas cut off Liara. "I asked Dr. T'Soni to come back and take full responsibility."

Shepard looked at the two co-conspirators and shook her head, "I cannot believe you two … why would either of you do this?"

Chakwas started to speak but the look on Shepard's face made her stop.

Shepard walked to the door and looked back at Chakwas, "Do you know what kind of danger you have put this civilian in?"

Chakwas looked at Liara and tried to explain but Shepard was already walking towards the exit. Liara moved past Chakwas and called out, "Commander!"

Shepard stopped, "Not now."

"Please," Liara was regretting her decision to not tell Shepard that she was there.

Shepard turned around, "You broke a promise."

Liara had no words and watched as Shepard walked out of the medbay.

* * *

><p>As Shepard entered the mess hall again the group at the table was looking up at her.<p>

"You guys knew too?" The table looked down at the cards. "Wonderful," Shepard mumbled as she grabbed a tray. "Everyone knew … damn traitors."

"Is there anything good left for dinner?" Pressly asked, entering the mess hall and seeing Chakwas at the medbay window waving at him to run. "Well, better get to bed."

"Et tu, Brute?" Shepard asked, holding her dinner tray. "Where is the loyalty?"

"Well," Pressly looked over at Chakwas. "I … I … I thought that Dr. T'Soni could help out in the medbay. With the loss of Dr. Bakari and Nurse Draven, Karin will need the help. The asari can help. But I did not have you sign off, Commander. I will accept whatever disciplinary action you deemed fit."

"You were outnumbered," Shepard knew she was as defeated as Pressly. "Take my tray to the table, get your dinner and have a meal with me. That is your punishment."

"Yes, ma'am," Pressly said, relieved as he took her tray.

"I'll be right back," Shepard said, praying that she could continue to keep a straight face. Walking back into the medbay, Nurse Hudson ran out afraid of what was coming while Chakwas and Liara stood side by side … waiting on the firing squad.

"First," Shepard said, wanting to kiss Liara, "I am not pleased."

"Commander," Liara started.

"Second," Shepard cut her off, "… even though I am not pleased, it would be rude of me to throw you out of the airlock."

"Very rude," Chakwas said, nodding her head and looking at Liara. "And the Commander is not rude."

Shepard, wanting to laugh, gave a stern look at Chakwas and then continued, "So I guess that I am stuck with you."

Liara looked slightly offended and that pleased Shepard _... You haughty little stowaway!_

Shepard then turned to Chakwas, "Or should I say that you are stuck with her. As long as Dr. T'Soni resides on the Normandy, she is your responsibility."

"Dr. T'Soni will help with the work load," Chakwas said, smiling over at Liara.

"I am sure she will," Shepard said, afraid of what these two creatures were going to put her through. "And as long as you are going to put her to work, I will also not have anyone on my ship not being paid according to their duties."

"Of course," Chakwas said. "I will pay her what is reasonable."

"That pay," Shepard continued, "will be taken out of your budget."

"Of course," Chakwas said, secretly squeezing Liara's arm.

"Now," Shepard turned around, a secret smile on her face, "I am going to eat my dinner and drink myself into a stupor … Good night, cauldron sisters."

Liara watched as Shepard exited and was still feeling slighted at the Commander's words.

"See, I told you that she wouldn't kill us," Chakwas said. "Now, let's finish our sitruuna and discuss your duties and pay."

Liara turned to the tea set and wanted to tell Shepard that she could not talk to her in that way. She was a T'Soni. But then she saw the Commander sit down with Pressly and hoped that Shepard would forgive her dishonesty.


	102. Gaijin Haiku

The black octahedron object sat on his desk; one of five, according to his asari source. She had given him not only the recipients of the other four, but also the locations that they were shipped to; a human politician, asari professor, salarian businessman and a high-ranking turian Officer and now him. He pulled the object closer. Curious. It seemed to breathe when touched. Alive. Dark, oily swirls revealed themselves if you looked close enough. The fact that he was in possession of one of them, it made him almost salivate.

Behind his chair were the video feeds that took up the bulk of his day. Video feeds that contained images of betrayal, lust, lies, promises, violence, love, greed, heroism and murder. So many scenes played out behind him and in front of him. Inside this area where his desk sat there were multiple languages, voices, grunts, laughs, whispers, screams and singing bouncing around the walls. Mixed and buried within all that madness, he could see something was on the horizon. He had been doing this far too long to not see the static. The chatter out there was changing. Like a party where the guests began to get drunk. One, then two, then six, then the slurring outnumbers the sober. He had started to wonder what was happening and in search of answers he had increased his eyes and ears even farther.

And then there was her. The image of Shepard being resuscitated on Aethoyner was playing on one of the screens. What had that beacon revealed, if anything, to the human? Maybe the asari, Dr. Liara T'Soni knew. He had planned on sending a few of his agents to retrieve the asari after the human left. He wanted her brought to one of his places of interrogation on Wetrot. But then she had left with the Alliance ship. His sources had the Normandy enroute to the Arcturus Station. While he had half a dozen informants there, he knew that there was no way he could get to Shepard. It wasn't the Alliance brass that made it impossible but the soldiers themselves. She was not only respected but loved.

He had watched her activities for many years, primarily out of curiosity, but now he was being paid to not only watch her but dispose of her. She had become a thorn in the side of a turian and even if the turian was outside the Council now, he had his agent take the contract. Information was not his only source of income or control. One did not stay in power if you didn't diversify and he had his claws into everything.

Yes, when the contract to kill the human SpecTRe was put out on the market, he had his agent snatch it up because he agreed. She needed to die. Through her, humanity might get their ass in a Council seat. Three were hard enough to keep ahead of. A fourth? That would not do. The humans were also too unpredictable for his taste and would only give him more headaches. Now there were two contracts on her life. Oh, yes. He knew about the shyno. He knew who had paid them. He knew everything. He also knew that if she were allowed to live, she would tip the balance in other areas. He could not allow that to happen.

He stood up and walked to the map. Yes, Commander Elizabeth W. Shepard, you must die. Just know, it's not personal.

* * *

><p>Dr. Chakwas entered the conference room and looked at the screen showing the activity on the larboard side of the Normandy. The DB-94 Arc crew was busy with the Normandy crew hooking up the bird to its nest, venting and stabilizing it to the dock. There was a crowd in the terminal waiting nervously. The press, loved ones, fans and teachers with their pupils packed the terminal. It wasn't as bad as the first time that they had arrived with the new Spectre, but it also wasn't empty. Shepard would try and spend some time with those who had waited. She had been trained since birth for waiting on others. Her trainer, the Preacher Woman, would have been proud of her daughter's patience and generosity of spirit as she moved through that crowded room.<p>

Chakwas smiled at the screen. It was good to be back and in thirty minutes the Normandy would be opened to release Shepard's locust on to the Arc. _God help them_, Chakwas thought of the businesses. She was just as ready to get off the ship. She wanted to do some shopping, eat at a few nice restaurants, spend time with a certain gentleman and maybe even see the latest horror film.

Pressly was also eager. He looked like he was ready to skip out of that room as he thought of his wife waiting in the terminal. She was never one to wait at home, she would be there on the dock to put her arms around his neck and kiss him. He was almost ready; just a few things to finish packing, then maybe the Commander would let him take a few days away. He was never comfortable asking for personal time but he had really missed his wife this time. Not that he didn't always miss her, he did. But with the deaths and now two more of the crew missing, he worried that their luck was running out.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Chakwas greeted as she poured herself a cup of coffee, grabbed a croissant and took her place. Adams was discussing the repairs scheduled with Pressly as Chakwas noted the time ... 0443. They were having an earlier than usual meeting because Shepard was itching to get off the Normandy as well.

"Did Liara decide which restaurant she wanted to try tonight?" Kaidan asked Chakwas. He was taking both Chakwas and Liara to dinner with Grace, before his parents arrived. They had been delayed by two days and it had pleased him. But he also didn't want to be alone with Grace; afraid that she would mention a wedding. He preferred to put others around them and keep the conversation light.

"She said she would like to try the Thirsty Turtle," Chakwas answered, putting butter on her croissant.

"The Thirsty Turtle?" Théron asked, surprised that the asari knew the place. "Has she eaten there before?"

"According to Liara," Chakwas explained, "Joker told her that Shepard liked the steaks there."

"Best steaks on the Arc," Adams said, in agreement with Shepard. "They also brew their own beer. I prefer their Bouncy Blonde."

"I'm sure you do," Chakwas said, giving him the eye.

Adams laughed and then added, "If you're going there tonight, may I join? I could use a good steak and blonde tonight."

"You can be my date," Chakwas said, "If you don't mind a gorgeous gray."

Adams nodded, "I'll even buy your dinner."

"Now we just have to find Liara a date," Chakwas started just as Shepard entered the room.

Shepard came to a stop, "Who is dating Liara?"

"That's what we are trying to decide," Chakwas said, watching Shepard shake her head and then go for the coffee.

"And you are doing this why?" Shepard asked and then yawned. She was in great need of the wake up juice. As she poured herself a cup, Kaidan brought her up to speed on the Thirsty Turtle, what Joker told Liara and the third wheel scenario. Hearing that Liara had chosen a place based on her made her smile. They had not talked since the night of the reveal. Shepard did not want her attraction for the asari to be identified and so her only option was to avoid the asari at all cost. Problem solved.

Shepard looked back at Kaidan when he offered up, "Girard? Women love French men."

"Well, he is tall enough," Shepard said, trying to sound unaffected about the whole affair. "A gentleman … and I think Liara does like French."

"Then it is settled," Chakwas said, as she watched Shepard grab a glazed donut, six pieces of bacon and take her seat.

"And speak of the devil," Shepard laughed as Didier Girard entered the conference room, still tucking in his shirt.

"Pardon my lateness," Didier had overslept.

"You might wish that you hadn't arrived at all," Shepard teased, as he took his seat. She found it humorous as Girard was roped in by Chakwas and Kaidan. Shepard knew that she had nothing to worry about with him and that it might be good for Liara to go out socially with other humans. This might also solve a problem for her.

"I'm not really attracted to asari," Girard almost apologized. "But if this is just a social meal, well, okay. But just as friends."

"There are men that are not attracted to the asari?" Chakwas feigned shock and then broke out in laughter as all but Théron raised their hands.

"So I'll need to tell Dr. T'Soni to steer clear of you," Shepard teased Théron.

"Please don't tell her anything," Théron answered, turning red.

Shepard smiled as the others laughed. The mood this morning was very upbeat in the conference room and Shepard knew why. They were on the Arc. Home to many of them. She would have happy danced, herself, but first business.

* * *

><p>"Henry and I have put together the kitchen needs," Théron said, pulling up the list so everyone could see. "I have submitted the list to the Alliance. If there is anything additional please let us know within the next forty-eight."<p>

Shepard leaned forward to review it, "Eugene, would you mind terribly if I requested that we add a few asari dishes? I know that your team, Henry, especially, has made sure that the quarian, turian and krogan have meals that fit them. Granted, Wrex just eats our spoils but … I would like to know that the asari is given the same consideration. I know that she likes something called manitaro with cilrag for starters."

"Yes, ma'am," Théron, nodded. "I'll have Henry meet with her on what dishes she prefers. We won't be able to get any ingredients specific to Thessia here, but maybe at our next stop."

Shepard nodded and then handed out datapads to her Officers, "And for our final topic, please refer to these as your additional assignments while we are on the Arc."

Pressly looked at his list and found it blank, "Commander," he handed his pad back to Shepard, "I think that there is something wrong with mine."

Shepard looked at the blank screen, "Hmmmm. This seems … correct. Which makes me wonder, why are you still here, Mr. Pressly? I believe that there is a lovely wife waiting on you."

"Ma'am?" Pressly was confused.

"Go get packed and hit the exit," Shepard said, "We can take it from here. Kaidan will notify you twenty four hours before you are needed back on the Normandy. Until then, tell Mrs. Pressly that I said hello."

"Thank you, Ma'am," Pressly beamed, rising and leaving the conference room.

"Girard," Shepard said, "Are you seeing Talitha Douglas?"

"This afternoon," Girard answered, "Her doctors' say that they are seeing some improvement but that she has a long, hard road ahead of her."

"I understand," Shepard said, sharing her Lieutenant's concern about the Mindoir survivor. "Can you please arrange a time that I can visit her? If her doctors approve, that is."

"Yes," Girard nodded, "I'll send you a few options once I meet with her doctors."

"I appreciate it," Shepard needed to see that she was doing better. Talitha Douglas was a mirror of Ricky Parks. If she could get better after all these years under the rule of the batarians, maybe he could when he was found. But as days, months, years passed by, she knew that it would be that much harder for her childhood friend.

"Kaidan," Chakwas said, "would you assist Liara in moving her things to Dr. Bakari's old cabin? It has been cleared out."

"Are you tired of rooming with the asari, already?" Shepard laughed.

"No," Chakwas answered, "I just think that she should have a place with privacy."

Shepard nodded, looking at Chakwas' report, "Are you really paying Dr. T'Soni this much?"

"She drives a hard bargain," Chakwas answered. "If I'm being completely honest, the private accommodation was also part of the deal, along with other additional pay, such as combat and risk factors."

Shepard began to laugh as she pulled up the contract, "That asari is trying to get better pay than me! Remind me to have her negotiate all of my future contracts!"

"And mine," Chakwas began to laugh. "I just need to figure out how to share her cost with the CIC."

"No," Shepard wagged her finger. "She is all yours! You snuck her on, you feed her."

* * *

><p>Broder adjusted his fedora and as he stepped off the boat four cats welcomed him to their little island of Tashirojima. This is where his hunt for the shyno would begin. He knew that one of the fishermen on the island had a daughter who had joined them and he was hoping that his friendship with the family would allow him access. Safe access. But he wasn't fooling himself, either. He knew that if he didn't move carefully, respectfully and with both eyes completely open, he could have his throat cut before he speaks.<p>

As he lifted his bag up and around his shoulder, he looked out at the feline island. He didn't remember this many cats when he lived there. But this little Japanese island had more cats then residence and he had almost begun to believe that the cats had the souls of past citizens. The people here seemed to be influenced by the felines as well. They seemed to move with the same type of agility, grace and lightness in step. He had found himself a little more balanced after living here for three years. He remembered there being a lot but not this many, he shook his head.

His home on the island had been at the Hamaya, while he made his living by fishing and doing odd jobs. His boat had been left with the owner of the hotel when he moved to Poland. Now walking towards the hotel, he couldn't help but think of those lost, wandering years that were born out of great sorrow. It was here that he met his mentor and father figure, Huyu Goto. The old man had once been a member of the Matsuri Acrobats and had moved to the island after marrying the daughter of the hotel's owner. Huyu had outlived both her and her parents. His only daughter had run away when she was just fourteen, and years later returned with her own infant daughter. Huyu had been glad to see his daughter but she had come there to die. She waited for him to go to the market and when he returned, he had found her lifeless body on the floor in her bedroom. The baby was sitting in a pool of blood and at first Huyu thought she was injured as well. The blood had been his daughter's alone and the tragic death was never revealed to his granddaughter. He chose to tell her that his daughter, her mother, had simply disappeared; _like the mist._

When Broder moved in, Huyu's granddaughter took an instant interest in him. She had never seen a gaijin and found everything about him to be odd. Even though she had lived almost all of her life on the island with no formal education, Broder found her to be well-read, quick-minded, and open to new ideas. The first time he met her, she was fixing the plumbing and he would soon learn that she could fix anything at the hotel. Then there was her physical skill. Broder would sometimes return from a day of fishing to find Huyu training his granddaughter in the arts of acrobatics. Her balance was not only impressive but at times seemed impossible. It also aroused him and she seemed to know it.

Their friendship over the next three years grew and while she continued to call him gaijin, Broder called her Neko after her catlike agility. The two eventually fell into bed together, having an affair for over a year, but they both knew it was just a fling. After all, the gaijin was still searching for his soul and Neko was ready to scratch at the world.

One of their favorite things was to pack a light lunch and go sit on his boat, looking out at the Pacific Ocean. He would drink a few Sapporo's, she preferred sake, as they lunched on onigiri, sushi and cucumbers. More times than not, she would unzip his pants and before he knew it, she was sitting in his lap. Neko would always ask him about the world outside that island and he discovered that she was taking on-line courses of computer science, Business law and haiku. Neko loved haiku. Broder was constantly finding haiku from Neko in his bedroom, under his pillow normally, and her haiku was erotic.

Broder removed his trench coat and hat as he stood just outside the hotel. He looked up at the second floor, farthest window on the left and smiled. That had been Neko's bedroom. She would be sitting at that window, her legs swinging, a bottle of sake in her hand, a tease in her eyes, "Hey gaijin!" She had been one of his favorites in a long line of lovers.

As Broder entered the hotel, a cat meowed and Huyu Goto bowed, "_Ohayō!_"

"_Good morning_," Broder said back in the language of this island, as he returned the bow. "_It is an honor to be back in your home."_

"_It is good to have you back, Broder-san_," Huyu smiled, bowing again. "_I've put you in your old room._"

"_Is Neko here?"_ Broder asked, looking at an old photograph of the three of them hanging on the wall.

"_No_," Huyu answered, taking his luggage. "_She moved to Tokyo three years ago ... She works for a security company now."_

"_Tokyo?" _Broder could only imagine the trouble Neko was getting into in that big, crowded city.

"_Yes_," Huyu said, picking up a cat as he headed up the stairs. Luggage in one hand, cat in the other. _"She writes often and sends money … she gets paid a lot."_

"_I saw Tobikuma's boat docked," _Broder said, following._ "Does he not fish on Thursdays anymore?"_

"_Storm is coming,"_ Huyu answered, pointing at the three cats at the top of the stairs.

On Tashirojima, it was the cats that forecasted the weather for the locals. It had been that way for too many generations to count. Broder looked at one of the cats licking her paw and wished that Neko was there. She was always good for a drink and a laugh.

* * *

><p>Elizabeth was making breakfast, her back towards the door and Melanie was taking her morning bath when Shepard entered her apartment. Seeing her grandmother's backside, she grinned as she placed her luggage on the ground, removed her shoes and tiptoed towards her. She was almost there when her grandmother turned and, seeing Shepard, gave out a startled scream. She dropped the skillet of fried potatoes on the floor and without missing a beat, wrapped her arms around her granddaughter.<p>

Shepard laughed as her grandmother grabbed her and hugged her tight, "Hello, old woman!"

"Lil'Bit!" Elizabeth's hugged tightened, "If I wasn't so glad to see you!"

"Momma?" Melanie was in her bath robe as she ran out into the common area.

Elizabeth was still hugging her granddaughter, crying now, as Shepard tried to turn around to face her Aunt, "Hi Aunt Mel!"

Now Shepard had two old women hugging and kissing on her and it felt good. The love so full in that room, between those three women, that Shepard had to fight from tearing up with them. She had missed them more than she had realized. As the hugs tightened, the tears flowed and the kisses real, Shepard did not want to be anywhere else.

* * *

><p>The medbay was empty with the bulk of the staff already off the ship. Chakwas had gone to see Joker and Liara had taken this time to write her Theia, Matriarch Livia and Sibila. She wished that she could see them soon but that would mean leaving Shepard's side. She would not leave her again until she felt it was safe, or until the Commander sent her away. She had worried that might happen sooner versus later, when Shepard did not speak or spend any time with her. She would see her in the mess hall, but if Liara were at the table, Shepard would sit on the other side and chat with everyone else. That is why when Chakwas told her that the Commander wanted to see her that morning in the conference room; she thought she was being sent away now.<p>

As she entered the conference room the first thing that she noticed was they were alone, outside of Chakwas. The Officers meeting had ended just fifteen minutes earlier and as she entered, Chakwas led her to Kaidan's chair and then excused herself. Liara looked at Shepard, who appeared deep in thought and couldn't stop looking at her profile. Shepard had perfect features, at least to Liara, and she had a desire to kiss her.

Without looking up, Shepard asked Liara what wage she had negotiated from her Chief Medical Officer. After Liara told her the figure without voicing the additional fees, Shepard whistled. She told Liara that she was robbing "Chakwas and in turn me. Why are you charging us so much, Dr. T'Soni?"

Liara looked Shepard dead in the eyes and explained that she had someone in her life "with expensive tastes, Commander."

Shepard began to laugh as she put the pad down. "And I'm sure if that person were here she would show her appreciation. I, however, am still debating on putting a paddle to you for your thievery and sneakiness."

Liara refused to smile and picked up the datapad, "I could have requested more."

"And I would have paid," Shepard smiled, looking up at the time ... 0618.

Liara pulled a piece of cold bacon off Shepard's plate, "Have you heard from Wrex or the pilot?"

Shepard shook her head, "Not yet. But if I know Wrex he'll find his way back."

Liara moved her chair closer to Shepard's and bent forward, "I am sorry for breaking my promise. But after you fell asleep, I knew that I could not let you go without me."

Shepard fought smiling as she picked up her coffee cup, "I've been thinking about that. You didn't break your promise. I didn't see you before I left and there was no goodbye."

Liara smiled, and took a bite of the bacon.

Shepard, debating on inviting Liara to her place to meet her family, opened a newsfeed and read the comics as Liara, eating Shepard's leftover bacon, read the Thessia feed. There was a comfortable silence between them as both stole looks at one another. Liara after a few more minutes got up and poured them both more coffee as she announced the latest ratings of skyball and asked Shepard if she ever wanted to see Thessia. As Liara sat back down, Shepard said that maybe one day, then read a funny comic to Liara and asked if she was going to finish all the bacon.

Liara nodded her head as she took the last piece.

"My grandmother and Aunt are here on the Arc," Shepard said, feeling unsure of what she was about to do. "I was wondering, would you mind meeting them? You know, coming to my place and having dinner?"

"You want me to meet your family?" Liara asked, not sure what that meant to the human.

"I don't know," Shepard caught the look on Liara's face. "Judging by your response, would that mean that we are married if you eat with my family? Because then, uh, no. I don't want you to meet my family."

Liara frowned, "It means that you value the relationship and that I am acceptable to socialize with your family."

"Acceptable?" Shepard sat forward, "Hmm, different customs are incoming, aren't they? I would ask if you would invite me to meet your family, but I don't think I would like the answer. That whole acceptable part can be a deal breaker."

"I would not invite you," Liara answered, without a hint of humor. "My Theia or the Matriarch Livia would have to extend the invitation."

"Okay, I'll bite," Shepard said, biting into the bacon in Liara's hand. "And would they?"

"I do not know," Liara answered, pulling her bacon away. "You would have to go to Thessia to find out. As a SpecTRe they might invite you to show appreciation for what you do."

"Hmm," Shepard closed the newsfeed. "Well, one day I might make it to Thessia and if your family were to invite me, I would attend."

"In the human world," Liara asked, "your grandmother does not have to extend the invitation? She will not think that I am being perioikos?"

"Excuse you," Shepard teased, handing her a napkin.

"Shepard!" Liara put the napkin on the table.

Shepard reached across and took the napkin back, "My grandmother would not only love to meet you but she would brag to her friends back home."

"Why would she brag?" Liara couldn't help but smile.

"No one back home has met an asari," Shepard explained. "Not the crowd that my grandparents know, anyway. But be prepared to be asked very embarrassing questions. Wait! I almost forgot, they don't have translators. I will need to be your voice, Ms. T'Soni. I'll be your translator to them."

Liara looked at Shepard with suspicion, "Can we invite Dr. Chakwas to be my voice?"

Shepard had taken a drink of her coffee, and unable to stifle her laugh, spit her coffee out on the table, "You do not trust me?"

"Shepard!" Liara grabbed the napkin and began to wipe up the mess.

"You stow away on my ship and yet you claim that I'm the un-trustable one?" Shepard continued to laugh. "You asari are a wicked lot!"

"So when are you going to invite Dr. Chakwas?" Liara asked, putting the napkin down and finishing the bacon.

"You break my heart," Shepard teased as she stood up.

"When?" Liara asked again.

"I'll invite her when I have a date set," Shepard caved. "Now, go back to work you expensive employee of mine."

Liara stood up and as they walked towards the exit, Liara asked if she should bring gifts for Shepard's "grandmother and Theia?"

"Just you," Shepard smiled. "Oh, and tonight, there is to be no hand holding, kisses or googly eyeing your date."

"Googly eyeing?" Liara had never heard of that.

Shepard did an exaggerated fluttering of her eyes, "This."

"I have never done that," Liara said, in complete seriousness. "Why would someone do that? Do humans consider that attractive?"

Shepard laughed and pointed Liara towards the medbay, "Never mind!"

Liara smiled at Shepard inviting her to meet a part of her family. It did not feel proper or respectable to Liara though. This was not how her people did these things and it made her question what Shepard really felt for her. She wanted to ask Kaidan what it meant but knew that she couldn't unless she revealed that Shepard and she were intimate. No. Liara opened up the inter-web and began to look for answers.

* * *

><p>As the three women had breakfast, Shepard wondered if her inviting Liara had been some kind of faux pas. Shepard looked over at her netbook and decided that she would query what was acceptable to Liara's people later. But for now she turned her attention back to two of her loves. The two women brought Shepard up to date on the family activities, Tybee Island goings on and the political atmosphere back in Georgia. Shepard talked about the amazing worlds and aliens that she had met, described what the Citadel looked like and how the Council had made her a SpecTRe. Yes, Shepard brushed her world in beautiful colors, but she was not going to worry her loved ones.<p>

As breakfast ended, Shepard got up and showed her grandmother how quarians danced. As she bounced around, her legs doing some kind of twirling, Mel couldn't stop thinking about this mysterious Liara T'Soni. Did she work on the Arc? Was she one of the Alliance personnel on the Normandy? Mel wanted to pull her niece aside and ask her, but then she worried that she would just end up embarrassing both of them.

"What time are Rose and her daughter coming tonight?" Elizabeth asked, standing up and clearing the table.

"There is a change of plans," Shepard answered, starting to help.

"We have this," Aunt Mel slapped Shepard's hands away. "Just sit down and relax."

Shepard gave a slight pout but knew when to not fight these two old women, "I was thinking that we could eat at the Thirsty Turtle tonight."

"What?" Elizabeth had wanted to give her granddaughter a home cooked meal.

"They have really great steaks there and their cheesecakes are to die for," Shepard could see that her grandmother was going to fight this.

"Lil'Bit," Elizabeth put her hand on her hip, "You can eat at a restaurant anytime."

"I know, grandma," Shepard smiled, entering the kitchen and hugging her grandmother. "But maybe I would like to show you off."

"Show me off?" Elizabeth pushed her granddaughter away. "Don't be silly."

"I'm not!" Shepard grinned and then added, "Trust me!"

Shepard began puckering her lips and kissing at her grandmother as Mel laughed. This was something her older brother used to do when trying to butter up their mother. Elizabeth moved her head back as she put her hand over Shepard's face and laughed, "Okay, Pierce Ethan Shepard, Jr!"

"Help me, Aunt Mel," Shepard needed backup.

"You need Toni for this," Mel said, going back to clearing the table.

Shepard gave her a playful scowl and then turned back to her grandmother, "Please, grandma. There will be others from the Normandy there and even though they won't be eating with us, I thought, well, maybe I'd put you on a catwalk in front of them. You know, show you off in the new dress."

"What new dress?" Elizabeth cocked a brow.

"The one I'm going to buy you this afternoon," Shepard answered, "In fact, all three of us are going to get new dresses, flirty heels, makeovers and then we'll be ready to seduce some boys."

Elizabeth looked at her daughter and back at her granddaughter, "I think you might be suffering some kind of space illness."

"Just say yes," Shepard said, leaning against her counter. "A new dress, steak, wine, cheesecake. What's not to love?"

"The seducing boys part?" Mel stepped in.

"So no seducing boys," Shepard said, glaring at her again. _Work with me_, she mouthed to her Aunt.

"Is this really that important to you?" Elizabeth asked, not wanting to disappoint her granddaughter.

"Very," Shepard answered. "I would like you to meet some of my crew."

_Important?_ Mel began to wonder if Liara T'Soni was one of them and asked, "Who will be there?"

Shepard took the dirty dishes from her Aunt, "Just some co-workers. They are having dinner there and I thought it might be nice for you to meet them."

"If you really have your heart set on it," Elizabeth finally gave in, filling up the left sink with hot water and dish soap.

"Thanks," Shepard kissed her and placed the dishes on the counter.

Mel's curiosity and hope would not be silenced, "What are the names of these people?"

Shepard looked at her Aunt, "Well, there is Dr. Chakwas, she is my head medical officer, then there is Lt. Alenko who will be there with his date and a few others."

Mel moved closer to Shepard, "Who?"

Shepard couldn't help but look oddly at her Aunt, "Do you know someone on my ship?"

"What?" Mel, nervous now, began to help her mother by drying the dishes, "No. I'm just curious about my niece's friends."

"Uh-huh," Shepard knew something was off; her Aunt was not normally this pushy.

Mel watched as her niece excused herself and grabbed her luggage. It took all of her strength to not stop Shepard from going into the bedroom to unpack. She wanted to grab her and ask, _is Liara T'Soni going to be there?_


	103. Thirsty Turtle Social Club

The Thirsty Turtle had celebrated its tenth year on the Arc and was a place that welcomed everyone. It was known for its steaks, microbrewery, cheesecakes and varied wine and spirits selection. The proprietor, Salvatore Byrne, had been an N7 in the Alliance and chose to not re-enlist but open a restaurant on the Arcturus Station instead. It was a decision that he never regretted.

The restaurant did even better than he had hoped and after a few years he added more space that included a dance floor and stage. The Thirsty Turtle was now also known for its jazz music, with a flavor of Cuban sprinkled in. Dancing was done with ease on a birch sprung floor and he would close this area off on weekdays for ballroom dancing instructions. That was one thing that those on the Arc learned, complete utilization of space. It became more important that businesses worked together as the numbers grew on the station, since there was no new space to be had.

It was on that dance floor that he had met Shepard and it was also there that he had tried to charm her but was shot down. Most women would have turned their noses up at him after that, but Shepard was not normal. She had the attitude of _you tried, I declined, let's drink._ She was his kind of woman. They became fast friends and through her he met the love of his life, Celina Aguabella. She was a jazz singer, a proficient keyboardist and could salsa like no one he had ever seen before. Now five years later, the Thirsty Turtle was considered the best steakhouse and home to the popular house band, the Jovian Quartet.

After they were married she changed very little of the design. The steakhouse could be called masculine, vintage, art deco and modern combined; Rich Gabon ebony on the ceilings, Antique Copper Pendant Lights with Frosted Shades, distressed black leather, dark mahogany on the walls that contrasted with the glass floors which allowed the patrons to see sections of the Arcturus Station's structure; Titanium steel beams, aluminum paneling and wiring. On the walls were 1920's art deco, antique mirrors and on the tables crisp white linen.

The mahogany and copper bar ran the length of one wall in the newer area, the lounge, and boasted not only the best rated microbrews on the Arc, but also wine and spirits from Earth to Thessia. The entertainment stage for both the house and visiting bands was also located in the lounge and was raised just a foot off the floor. There were additional tables in this section for dining and while the volume here was loud enough to enjoy, it was not loud enough to assault the patrons. Unless the Cuban music was playing and then pitchers of sangria were brought out as the dance floor filled up.

The design of the Maitre d' stand was inspired by an orchestra's conductor stand and made of titanium steel, its curves reminiscent of art nouveau metalwork. It was here that Salvatore checked on the reservation list and seeing Shepard's name made sure that she was placed at her favorite table. Shepard loved dancing and music, which explained why her favorite table was right next to the dance floor. Salvatore was about to leave when he was stopped by the sight of the asari entering the restaurant. She was tall, standing above almost everyone in the foyer, and attractive. The Arc was very restrictive on non-humans and this was not an area approved for them. Only special cases were approved by the Alliance. He watched as an Alliance Officer took her coat and seeing Dr. Chakwas and Greg Adams, he knew this was Shepard's doing.

"So you escaped the Normandy?" He greeted Chakwas, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"We knocked the Commander out," Chakwas laughed, turning to introduce those with her. He knew not to try and shake the asari's hand after having been with her kind while still an N7. He had spent more money on their asses and kisses than anything else in his life. If he weren't married to a hot headed Cuban he might consider having her service him.

"How long will you be on the Arc this time?" Salvatore asked, snapping over his head waiter.

"That is up to the Commander and Greg," Chakwas answered, putting her arm through Adam's, "Please tell me that you finally started stocking Serrice Ice Brandy."

"Three bottles," Salvatore nodded, as the small group started to move to their table in the main room, "All with your name on them."

"You are a love," Chakwas said, seeing the looks that Liara was getting. "Have a bottle sent to our table."

"Already done," He smiled at her, pointing to the bottle waiting patiently for her, like a centerpiece. "I hope you don't mind being separated from Shepard. I have her in the lounge."

"The Commander is here?" Girard asked as he pulled out a seat for Liara.

"Did you know she was coming?" Kaidan asked Chakwas, pulling out Grace's seat near the fireplace. "Will this be too hot?"

Grace shook her head, putting her purse by her feet and hating how Kaidan had responded to the mention of Shepard. She knew that he was attracted to the woman. But she had him, she thought as she rubbed her stomach. She had him and she wasn't letting him go.

"No," Chakwas said, sitting down and thanking Adams for not letting the boys outdo him. He laughed, pushing her seat in and sitting between her and Liara.

"She has a reservation in a half hour," Salvatore said, watching Girard pointing at the menu and explaining some of the dishes. He wanted to tell this guy that he didn't need to play the gentleman with the asari. They were open to sex and didn't need to be seduced. That had been his experience with them.

"Will you tell us when she arrives?" Chakwas asked.

Liara, like Kaidan, had felt excitement to hear that Shepard was going to be there. Then she looked at her choice of dress; an Axydrona cocktail dress in fuchsia with matching heels that added another three inches to her height. She wore no jewelry except her bracelet with the cross. She had touched the silver cross absent-mindedly as they were led through the restaurant. She knew that her presence was causing a ripple in the room, but instead of slouching like a human might, the asari only stood taller. They would see how the daughter of Benezia T'Soni carried herself in a room of humans. Proud.

Liara had also caught the way that Salvatore looked at her. She reasoned that he had been in their bed and now he believed, falsely, that he knew them. This was not new to her people. Every other species was just as guilty, giving to misconceptions of who the asari were. Liara often wondered if others would ever understand or at least try to understand. She hoped that Shepard would one day see who she was and not reject her. Liara listened to Girard explain what the menu choices were, but she knew what she wanted. Joker had discovered what the Commander liked the best at the restaurant and had shared this _inside scoop_, as he called it, with her. After he told her, Joker said that all he wanted was vids of them making out as payment. _Lots of vids! Naked ones would be the best! _

* * *

><p>The Shepard women arrived to a packed restaurant, the sounds of the Jovian Quartet playing <em>In Style and Rhythm<em>. Shepard was wearing a champagne-colored Donna Karan cross neck evening dress, black Christian Louboutin's Decollete 554 heels and carrying a matching Louboutin clutch purse. Her grandmother and aunt almost choked at the cost of the purse alone, never mind the shoes and dress. Elizabeth had told Shepard that after all the money she spent, "You might as well be wearing a small house."

Shepard had laughed. If they knew what her lingerie from Eres cost, they would have committed her. Shepard, not given to wasteful spending, had no problem paying higher prices for better design and finer materials. It was her feminine right, she used to tell Liam. She not only claimed her femininity when she was away from the Alliance but she highlighted its every curve. Who better to help her than Italian, French and American houses of design? It was her mother that taught her the importance of demanding style and quality when shopping.

"You don't need a hundred dresses," Hannah had instructed, "You just need a few tasteful dresses, accessories and the eye to interchange them." This style advice was given by her mother as they shopped for a dress in the south of France. "A woman can change the appearance by just the addition of a scarf. And never follow trends. Classic Chanel is still desired and shows that simple taste is never dated."

Shepard smiled at the memory, as she helped her grandmother with her coat. The first time that Hannah had instructed Shepard in dress, it had surprised her. Hannah was always focused on what was inside, but there in France another part of the Preacher Woman seemed to wake up. As her mother gave her lessons on coordinating her clothes, choosing perfumes that hinted and not repelled, and shoes that accentuated her legs, Shepard was thrilled. The young girl felt that she was being treated like a grown up woman by another grown up woman and not her mother. It was a memory that guided her when she was shopping all these years later. Instructions that she hoped to one day have with her daughter. A daughter that she hoped looked like her mother.

Salvatore had been waiting for Shepard to arrive and showed the trio to their table. Elizabeth and Melanie watched as Pierce's daughter was stopped by people, wanting to have just a small bit of her time. They watched as the singer on the stage slipped off, kissed Shepard on the cheek and ran back on to the stage. They heard the young woman laugh, tease and compliment as she moved deeper into the lounge.

"She looks so much like Hannah," Melanie said, standing by their table.

"Prettier," Elizabeth said, smiling at Salvatore who had pulled out her seat. "Thank you."

Salvatore then moved to Melanie's seat and after both women were seated he opened a bottle of Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon, "This is on the house for the most beautiful women to grace our restaurant in years."

Elizabeth thanked him as Melanie, turning red, hid behind her menu. It was hard for the youngest of Jack and Elizabeth's chicks to meet strangers. She had always been extremely shy and would let others speak for her. Her mother and brother seemed to understand and would allow her to hide behind them. But her father and sister would get frustrated with this side of her. Jack felt that his daughter was missing out on what the world would give her, "Bessie, she is such a looker," Jack had said more than once to his wife. "If she just had more confidence, she would steal her sister's admirers. And with her brains, she could do anything."

Elizabeth raised her glass of wine as Shepard stopped at the bar and laughed with the bartender and a few male patrons, "Can you imagine Pierce here?"

Melanie looked at the men looking at her niece, "Eli is a good girl. Pierce would know that."

"We hope," Elizabeth sighed, taking a drink of the wine. "I really wish that she had married that Texas boy. With him, she would be living so much closer to us and raising her own children. She would be safe."

Melanie looked at her own wine glass and thought of the card she had found in her niece's apartment. The cover of a tree was nothing shocking or a hint of what was inside. The sketch of Eli sleeping naked and the inscription;

_Dear Elizabeth Shepard,_

_Words are empty and cannot express what I felt with you. _

_Thank you for sharing a part of you with me last night._

_Sincerely, _

_Liara T'Soni_

Hmm-hm. Melanie may never have had a romantic relationship, but even she knew that the message was more than platonic. She watched as her niece made her way to their table and she still could not see her with a woman. Shepard may not have come off as boy crazy, but she had only dated boys. _Had she?_ Melanie had to wonder if her niece had kept things from them. But then she thought of Shepard's known romantic relationships; Tait Rickman, Terry Wishart, Jesus Castillo and Liam Serafino. _Yep, all male_. As Shepard was seated at their table, Melanie hoped that if her niece was having a relationship with another woman that it was just a passing thing. She had nothing against that kind of relationship but she was afraid that a woman might hurt her niece more than a man could. She had watched as her niece seemed to be able to keep her heart hidden and while Melanie believed that men would be so busy watching her body they wouldn't care, another female would demand something more. She looked at the woman who had suffered through Mindoir '70 and knew that if Eli ever opened up, the pain that would follow if that woman left her. Melanie knew that if she had voiced what she felt, others would say it was nonsense. Maybe it was, but it was how she felt. And she loved her niece.

* * *

><p>The steak, baked potato and salad were good but nothing compared to Korain's manitaro with Cilrag back on Thessia. As the conversation flowed at the table, Liara picked up her glass of elasa and wished that Shepard was sitting with them. She wished that Shepard was there instead of Lt. Didier Girard. Not that he failed as a pleasant companion. He was attentive, polite and respectful. He also did not look at her with any type of desire and that made him all the more acceptable to share a dinner with.<p>

Kaidan put his fork down as Grace grabbed his free hand and placed it on her stomach, "I felt a flutter, daddy."

"How far along are you?" Chakwas asked, looking at the sick face on Kaidan.

"She's almost in her third trimester," Kaidan answered, as Grace continued to rub his hand over her stomach.

"Maybe you should request a leave," Girard said. "We may not be back before your baby is born."

"What is it going to be?" Adams asked, drinking his Bouncy Blonde beer. "Boy or girl?"

"Kaidan won't let me say," Grace answered, as Kaidan removed his hand from her stomach.

"Do you want me to see if the Commander will give you a leave?" Chakwas asked.

"I don't know yet," Kaidan answered, looking at his plate of a half-eaten Porterhouse steak and then grabbed his Vancouver Steamworks Beer. "I'll know after I speak with my parents."

"Do you need anything from me?" Liara asked, seeing him distressed.

"Would you go shopping with me?" Grace asked, as she began to rub Kaidan's back. She had read that the asari were known for having excellent taste in design and she was not that creative herself. "I need to look at furniture for our new place and things for the nursery."

"We will both go," Chakwas smiled, knowing that Liara had to be escorted by senior officers when off the Normandy. That was the only way that Shepard had received a pass for the asari. The quarian's pass was restricted to a few business locations and Adams had to escort her, while the turian was denied access altogether. Chakwas had seen how it had frustrated Shepard, but they both understood. There were very few planets in the galaxy that did not have restrictions on the movement of non-natives.

"Liara, are you okay?" Girard asked, as the asari stood.

Liara looked at Chakwas, "I just need to …"

"Oh," Chakwas smiled, standing up as well, "it is time for us females to powder our noses."

As Liara, Chakwas and Grace headed to the ladies room located in their section, Adams waved over the waiter as Girard and Kaidan watched Liara walk. It was true that neither man desired the asari but that didn't mean that they were blind to her walk or backside. Kaidan felt a little guilty and grabbed his beer as Girard loosened his collar just as Liara disappeared from his view.

* * *

><p>The steak was better than Shepard remembered and the glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon relaxing, as Celina sang <em>S'Wonderful<em> just for her friend. For the past hour, Shepard fought going into the other part of the restaurant where she knew that Liara was sitting. It was made harder when Chakwas and Adams had entered the lounge to dance before the dessert and coffee was served at their table. Shepard introduced her Chief Medical Officer and Chief Engineer to her grandmother and aunt. When Chakwas mentioned how Dr. T'Soni had enjoyed her rib-eye steak but had avoided the onions on advice from Kaidan, Shepard laughed as Melanie was tempted at following Chakwas back to her table.

Melanie had tried to use the bathroom as an excuse to go in the main part, but the lounge had its own restrooms. She couldn't help but wonder what this woman looked like and every time an attractive female entered, she looked at her niece. Nothing. She would take a drink of her wine and wait until the next attractive woman. Female, Shepard, nothing, drink. This was worse than one of those mystery books that her brother had read to her as a kid.

When Elizabeth had excused herself from the table and the two were left alone, Melanie saw her chance to come clean.

She moved closer to Shepard and after a deep breath, "Eli, how have you been?"

"Good," Shepard answered, refilling their glasses. "And you?"

"Fine," Melanie answered, drinking down half of her glass.

"Wow!" Shepard had never seen her aunt drink like that and this was her third glass.

"Listen," Melanie began, her head swaying just a little, "You like trees …"

Shepard could tell that her aunt was a little high and couldn't help but refill her glass, "Love trees, here have some more wine."

"Thank you," Melanie looked at her glass, where was she? "Oh, yes. You like girls."

"Pardon me?" Shepard couldn't help but wonder if her aunt was talking about herself, "Did you say that you like girls?"

"Pfft," Melanie rubbed her nose, taking another drink. "I never wanted sex. Chocolate, yes. Who wants a …" she wiggled her finger around, "… no. Never wanted that."

Shepard was struggling not to fall on the floor laughing as her aunt seemed to glaze off, "Aunt Mel?"

"Can we dance?" Melanie asked, trying to stand up.

"Come on," Shepard, a twinkle in her eye, helped her aunt up and as Julie sang _Let There Be Love_ she swayed her around the dance floor.

"You need love," Melanie told her niece as she hugged her.

Shepard pulled away, kissed her aunt on the lips and gave her a gentle twirl, not wanting to make her sick. "I have love. Plenty."

"No," Melanie said, pointing her fingers at Shepard like pistols, "Crazy love."

Shepard had never seen her aunt like this. But then she had never seen her aunt semi-drunk. It was making her grin and love her father's baby sister that much more. "I have enough crazy, aunt."

"Does she love you?" Melanie blurted as she danced around Shepard.

"Who?" Shepard was absolutely confused and no longer finding this humorous. She wondered if she should get her grandmother or a bucket of cold water.

"You know who," Melanie answered, leaving the dance floor and headed for her glass of wine. "Calling the doctor!"

"Come back here," Shepard grabbed her aunt, pulling her back on the dance floor as Elizabeth returned to the table. "Explain yourself, Lucy."

"I can read," Melanie said, thinking of the card, and pointing at her eye. "Oh, Toni may say … you know she can be such a bitch. Pierce loved her but she is mean, cold inside. No heart," Melanie pointed to own heart. "Dead. Nope. No love. You protect yourself from her. Don't let her near your brush. She might steal your hair and … Momma, daddy and even my beautiful brother may not have seen, but I know."

"Okay," Shepard gave her a hug. "Let's have some water and then a pot of coffee."

As the two walked back to the table, Shepard knew that her aunt knew something, but what exactly? And how did she know? _It's always the quiet ones_, Shepard thought as she pulled out her aunt's chair.

"Is everything okay?" Elizabeth asked, watching Shepard replace Melanie's glass of wine with her ice water.

"No," Shepard did not want to embarrass her aunt. "We just realized that we are ready for cheesecake and coffee."

* * *

><p>"If I looked like Shepard," Chakwas was saying as Adams stood up and headed for the men's room, "I would live in the Caribbean, spending my days on the beach, drink in hand and a few tropical lovers."<p>

"Don't you find her scars off-putting?" Grace asked, feeling jealous and insecure.

"Shepard's more beautiful with them," Kaidan said, knowing her motive for the rude comment. "She has saved more lives and put her own life at risk than anyone I know. When I see those scars, all I see is her courage."

"Would you like to dance?" Girard asked Liara, trying to get away from the current topic.

Liara looked at Girard, "Yes, please."

Chakwas, not wanting to be caught in the tension between Kaidan and Grace all alone, excused herself as well. She would hide near the restrooms until Adams walked out.

Liara and Girard began to hear the music more clearly as they entered the lounge and the voice was beautiful. Liara moved away from Girard as she slowly began to recognize the voice of Shepard and the song that had been sung to her.

It might have been the wine, the company, the feeling of security, or maybe the asari that she had touched. Shepard had joined Celina on the stage and as the singer tickled the ivories, Shepard had agreed to sing just one song. _These Foolish Things._

Kaidan and Grace had entered to dance shortly after and they were just as surprised to see the Commander singing to the audience. This only made Grace hate Shepard that much more as Kaidan moved closer to the stage. He had never seen the Commander as beautiful as she was at that moment.

Shepard, enjoying the moment, looked out and saw the very person who had inspired her to pick that song. Liara. She was taller than all the other women and most of the men. It would have been hard to have missed the asari in the sea of humans. Shepard thought she looked sexy in the red dress and hoped that she felt the same about her. After all, Shepard had dressed with the asari in mind. Shepard wanted to tease the stowaway, seduce her with a promise. But the way Liara looked; Shepard felt her own body tell her that it was going to be a cold shower night for her instead.

Liara heard Girard and Kaidan talk about Shepard's beauty and it made her smile. Liara knew that Shepard, when singing, was even more beautiful than normal. It was the one safe place, music, which allowed Shepard to express herself. Now as Shepard reached out to her in public, even if it was in secret and hidden behind music, it was enough for Liara. She was learning the heart of this human and even if she was pushed away later, she knew that Shepard had given more to her than to anyone else. As Shepard looked at others, Liara knew this song was to her and it pleased her.

As the song finished, Shepard thanked everyone and then slowly made her way through the crowd to Liara, "You look lovely."

Liara smiled at Shepard, "These heels may have been an unwise choice."

"What?" Shepard stood on her tippy-toes, "Don't be silly. Some people like to feel small and insignificant as you block out their sun."

"I didn't realize that you could sound that good," Girard said, as Kaidan returned to Grace.

"Thank you?" Shepard said, trying not to look at Liara's nipple pressed against the dress.

"That did not come out right," Girard said, nervously. "I just think of you barking orders on the field. No, that doesn't sound any better. I think I'll see how Kaidan and Grace are."

"Wise decision," Shepard laughed.

"Your dress is beautiful," Liara said, careful even with none of their crew around.

"Would it be appropriate if I introduced you to my family here?" Shepard asked.

"Do I look acceptable?" Liara asked, checking her dress.

"That skirt you wore to your cousin's party might be a better choice," Shepard teased as she took her by the hand and escorted her to the table.

Melanie saw the asari when she entered and could not stop looking at her. She pointed her out to her mother and both women were fascinated. They had seen pictures, videos of other aliens but now they were seeing one in person. Melanie was glad that she had not seen her just a half hour earlier. She needed time to get a little less tipsy.

Elizabeth touched her daughter's arm as Shepard talked to the asari and then, much to their surprise, brought her over to their table.

"Grandma, Aunt Melanie," Shepard pulled Liara closer to her, "This is Dr. Liara T'Soni. She is a consultant on the Normandy and an archeologist."

"You are with an asari?" Melanie blurted out, in shock, causing Shepard, Elizabeth and Liara to look at her.

"What?" Elizabeth and Shepard said almost in unison as Liara looked at Shepard.

"What?" Melanie realized what she had said and tried to save herself, "I said, you are an asari."

Shepard was pretty sure that her aunt knew. Almost sure_. No_, her mind told her. _How would she know? _No one on the Arc knew.

"Please forgive my daughter," Elizabeth said, standing up and extending her hand.

Liara smiled, wanting to be accepted by Shepard's family, and shook both Elizabeth and Melanie's hands, as Melanie tried to act natural.

"I told you that my family has never been exposed to anything outside of an occasional yankee," Shepard smiled. "Being in a room with Northerners was hard enough on their delicate, magnolia loving hearts."

Elizabeth gave her granddaughter a reproving look and squeeze to the arm, as she whispered in her ear, "Hush, she might believe you."

"She doesn't normally understand what I'm saying anyway," Shepard winked at Liara.

"Are you married?" Melanie was having a hard time reconciling the asari to the card. This was the last thing that she would have ever guessed and if the asari said yes. Nail in coffin.

Shepard, confused by her aunt's behavior, said no, "Liara is not married. Why? Do you know some nice boy back home looking to marry an asari?"

"I just need a minute," Melanie looked up at Liara, back to her niece and shook her head. _Dear Lord, if this is serious, just wait until Toni finds out. She is going to use this to create even more drama in the family._

"Would you join us for coffee?" Elizabeth asked, looking up at Liara.

"Thank you," Liara said in clipped Anglish. "It is an honor to meet you."

Shepard, leaving Melanie to her glass of wine, sat next to Liara, "Been practicing your human speak?"

Liara ignored Shepard's tease and listened as Elizabeth talked about her newfound love of elious. "I just watched a documentary and I would love to learn that type of painting. Do you know what that is? Elious?"

Liara nodded, "_I have completed many works. If you would like I could create one for you_."

"Liara says of course she knows what that is, you silly human," Shepard pretended to translate. "Now go away."

"That is not what she said," Chakwas stepped in, surprising Shepard, and translated what the asari had really said.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Elizabeth said to her granddaughter and then turned back to Liara, "I hope that my granddaughter makes you feel welcomed."

"More than that," Melanie mumbled, and while everyone else seemed to not hear, Shepard looked at her.

Shepard leaned towards her aunt, "Listen here, Gladys Kravitz, we need to talk."

"I'll drink to that," Melanie said, reaching for the wine.

"Oh, no!" Shepard pulled the wine away as the others seemed too focused on their conversation to notice those two. "Two more coffees and we, you and me, are going to the ladies room and having a pow wow."

"This must be uncomfortable for you," Elizabeth was saying to Liara. "All of these humans and you alone?"

"I believe that I make them more uncomfortable," Liara answered, "Although, it might have been reversed just a few months ago. Commander Shepard, Dr. Chakwas and so many on the Normandy have helped me understand your kind better."

"Hey, Grandma," Shepard motioned to the bracelet, "Momma gave that to Liara."

"You met Hannah?" Melanie was now participating in the conversation.

"And daddy," Shepard looked at Liara in fake innocent, "Tell them how you had a cup of kaffee with him."

Liara was becoming a pro at ignoring Shepard's little evil ways, "They were both quite surprising. I had believed that humans were all in a hurry. But Hannah was so kind and your son was quite gracious."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said, choking up. "Would you mind having dinner with us tomorrow?"

Liara looked at Shepard, smiled, and then turned back to Elizabeth, "I would be honored."

"She really met Hannah and Pierce?" Melanie asked Shepard.

Shepard nodded and as Liara began to tell the story, sans the Kaffee part, Salvatore approached the table.

"Shepard," Salvatore put his hand out, "The boss says that if I don't get you up to dance, it is the couch for me."

Shepard took his hand, looked over at Liara then up at the stage where Celina Byrne was starting to sing _Cocktail D'Amour_. The music was perfect for a slow salsa and with Liara and her grandmother having a nice conversation, _thank you, Chakwas_; Shepard was having a nice night. As Salvatore began to dance the casino-style salsa, Shepard easily followed, even if her dress wasn't quite right. Shepard loved Cuban dancing because it was a fun and sexy way to move around the dance floor. There was a freedom to it as partners were interchangeable and gender was unimportant. Cuban dancing meant the floor was one big partner.

The four at the Shepard table were interrupted when Shepard danced towards them, wiggled her rear at them, winked and went back to her partner, laughing.

"She has too much of Jack and your brother in her," Elizabeth laughed.

Melanie looked at Liara and back at Shepard, "You have no idea how true that is."


	104. Tokyo Tango

Shepard first checked under all four stalls, then placed her glass of wine down on the sink's counter and looked at her aunt, "Spill it sister, I know you know. But how do you know?"

"Know what?" Melanie was feeling less high and more embarrassed at the way she acted earlier.

Shepard moved closer to her aunt, "Liara. How?"

Melanie, looked at the glass of wine, and then at her niece, "I wasn't snooping. I was just putting luggage in your room and there on the end table was a card."

"A card?" It took all of two seconds for Liara's morning after gift to come to her mind. Shepard dropped her head as she tried to remember what the asari had written, "Does grandma know?"

"No," Melanie answered, glad that the truth was out there. "I put it in a drawer."

"Thank you," Shepard said, feeling relief. "I didn't want to say anything to any of you until I knew for sure."

"Do you love her?" Melanie asked, as Shepard pulled out her lipstick from her purse.

"I don't know," Shepard answered, "It's still a little early in the relationship for me to say. Liara and I haven't really even talked about what we want."

"Why?" Melanie asked, fixing Shepard's diamond pearl drop earring.

"It's too early," Shepard answered, but could see the look of skeptism on her aunt's face. "Okay. I can't pretend to even know what she wants. But I haven't pushed because I'm afraid that we want different things."

"And if she did?" Melanie asked, seeing that her fears were true. That this could hurt her niece.

"It would hurt," Shepard answered, honestly. "Not that I don't think I wouldn't survive. I would and down the road find a new toy."

Melanie nodded, "Would you date another woman?"

"What?" Shepard looked at her aunt confused. "No. I've never looked at any woman and wanted her that way. I want Liara. That's it."

"So you are attracted to asari?" Melanie was trying to label what her niece was.

"No," Shepard's face of disgust left no doubt. "The idea of being touched by them gives me the creeps."

"I'm confused," Melanie said, "Liara is an asari and from what I know they are more female physically. Or is there something that you know?"

"There's no surprise down there," Shepard almost laughed. "Not that I wouldn't have liked that. But can you imagine how that bonus would have scarred so many men who thought they were bedding a hot blue female? Or my buddy Michelle? It would traumatize her more than any unsuspecting male."

Melanie looked at her niece, not hiding her increasing confusion.

"Don't strain your brain, aunt," Shepard kissed her on the forehead. "I can't figure it out myself. I'm not attracted to women and the asari make my skin crawl. And yet, I love being with her. Somehow, Liara has been able to bypass both those locks. When you get to know her, it may not surprise you that she has moved me. The longer I'm with her, the more I'm at her mercy. And I hate it."

Shepard turned to the mirror, leaned forward to do a little touch up on her lips. Melanie began to tell Shepard something about her parents but her voice faded as Shepard looked at the entrance in the mirror. She froze as she saw the reflection of two shyno slipping in and placing some kind of gel on the door. A type of door stopper? Shepard told herself not to panic. She had to focus on protecting her aunt. She put the cap back on her lipstick, put it in her purse and looked at her aunt.

"Listen to me," Shepard whispered, grabbing the wine glass and leading her aunt to the last stall, "I want you to get in here and not come out until I say. If anyone else tries to get in … scream."

"What are you talking about?" Melanie could see that her niece was not joking.

"There's a scorned woman that just came in," Shepard lied as she moved her aunt into the stall. "How was I to know he was her boyfriend?"

"Where?" Melanie tried to look out of the stall, but Shepard pushed her farther in.

"Look at me," Shepard gave her the glass of wine and purse, "Do not come out until I say, no matter what you hear."

As the stall door closed, Melanie could hear Celina singing _I Like It Like That_ faintly. Shepard told her to lock the door and after turning the latch, she pressed her ear against the door. She wanted to believe that her niece had told her the truth and that this was just some misunderstanding, but she had seen a look on Shepard's face that said she was afraid. Melanie pressed her forehead against the cold door and prayed.

Shepard moved towards the sinks as the shyno began to break apart and step to her right and left. She felt sweat run down her back and her heart felt as if it was going to explode. She wasn't sure if she was going to survive this Tokyo Tango and it terrified her. She was the only thing between her fifty-eight year old aunt and these two assassins. If she failed, they would kill one of her dearest loves. _I can do all things through Him who strengthens me_, Shepard recited as she saw the first shyno raise her shinobigatana.

* * *

><p>"Liara says that she can give you a few lessons in elious," Chakwas said, translating the asari language. "She doesn't have her kit but oil and a canvas will work just for practice. Once she is back on Thessia she would love to ship you a proper Thessian set."<p>

"You would be willing to give me a few lessons?" Elizabeth smiled, "You do realize that my painting will be atrocious, right? I do watercolors but oils have always been my hurdle. And what your people do on canvas is absolutely breathtaking."

Liara smiled, "Even if you do not have the gift of elious, it can take you to a place of peace as you let the colors speak to you. For those of us who practice this creation find more joy in the process than completion of it."

Elizabeth wanted to learn, but she remembered Melanie scolding her at the market. Would her granddaughter mind the asari spending time in her house? Elizabeth thought of the paintings in that documentary and claimed her grandmother rights, "Then it is settled. I will have Shepard purchase what we will need and if there is any kind of refreshments that you like."

"I'll take care of that," Chakwas said, already putting together a list in her head.

* * *

><p>Her blade was quick, but not quick enough as Shepard caught the shyno under the arm with an elbow lock and began using the assassin's body as a shield against the second shyno. The blades sang as they made contact with each other, Shepard using the first shyno's arm and blade against them. It was taking all of her strength to keep control of the first shyno and when she saw the second shyno reach into her shinobi shozoko she cursed under her breath. <em>Please not darts or throwing weapons!<em>

Melanie had tried to look under the stall but all she saw were legs and shoes. But she knew that there were two and she had almost left the stall to help her niece. But she remembered her niece's face and wished that she had brought her purse. She had pepper spray in it. Melanie placed her ear against the door again, listening to the scuffling of feet, smacking of bodies and muffled cries.

Shepard held on tighter to her human shield and weapon holder, as her wish was not granted. The second assassin threw three shurikens with one landing on one of the stall doors just inches from her face, another in the first shyno's back and the last in her right shoulder. _Of course_, she had thought, _Always my right shoulder!_

Melanie, now standing on the toilet and trying to look over the top of her stall, heard Japanese words being yelled and looked down at the glass of wine still in her hand. The sound of the shuriken that had stuck into one of the stall doors made her jump and almost tumble down to the floor. The increased struggle and yelling outside of her stall scared her even more and she downed the glass of wine in one gulp.

The second shyno had begun to tear little pieces of cloth and skin off Shepard and her living shield, her sword becoming a type of hungry bird and their bodies, birdfeed. Shepard dodged the pecking bird as much as she could but its beak was fast. She shielded her body using the first shyno as much as she could but for every two pecks that her living shield received, she received one. This made the first shyno start to yell even louder and Shepard had to wonder if her human shield was yelling _don't worry about me, kill her!_ Or was she screaming, _Are you fucking crazy? Stop cutting into me!_

It didn't really matter as Shepard felt another nick to her leg and wondered if this was what they meant by death by a thousand cuts. There was a loud knock on the bathroom door as the song _I Like It Like That _continued to play, as if taunting her, and Shepard continued her very tiring three woman Tokyo Tango.

* * *

><p>The small, dinghy apartment was located in the Zakera Ward just a few yards from Chora's Den. As you entered, the first thing that you noticed was the stale tobacco smell and sparse furnishings. There was a beat up La-Z-Boy that had part of its insides exposed. It had seen better days, just as the occupant had. A TV dinner tray was to the chair's side and held a small lamp, an ashtray and a pack of Sobranie cigarettes.<p>

The screen that the chair faced was all the room had for light, and showed two bobbies chased after a killer with the sound muted. To the right of the lone chair was a small desk and cheap lawn chair. The only thing on the wall was a commendation from the Scotland Yard, the glass broken. The kitchen was small and the oven never used as evidenced by the takeaway trash. The bathroom was in need of a good bleach scrub and the bedroom contained a bed, one nightstand and dresser. The dresser's mirror matched the framed commendation in that it was also busted and two drawers were also missing.

With the sound muted, Harkin could hear the chair popping as the asari bobbed up and down. He tried to lean forward, spitting on his free hand and slapping her ass as she bent before him. He would have slipped his thumb into her but she shifted, her throat taking all of him. He dropped the bottle of Popov vodka that he had been holding and clutched the sides of his La-Z-Boy, "Oh, gaw, fu, esh!"

Not twenty minutes before and Harkin was spending another night alone, drinking his vodka, smoking one cigarettes after another and watching his favorite show, _New Scotland Yard Files_. That was before a knock on his door revealed an asari lost and needing directions. As he pulled up a map, she had pressed against him, and then she unzipped his pants and now here he was in heaven. Was his luck changing?

As the washed-up human clutched the chair, his body jerked against the manipulation of the asari. This allowed Psyria to easily slip unnoticed into the apartment. Vasan could feel Psyria looking at her and so she began to touch herself, hoping to please Psyria. But she turned away instead of watching as Vasan had hoped. She was there for one thing and one thing only. A quick sweep of the room was all that was needed as her eyes came to rest upon it almost immediately. A Royal Quiet Deluxe typewriter_._ Harkin's typewriter. It was facing the window and ready to deliver a message. She opened her mind and communicated to Vasan that she needed the human out of the room.

Harkin, breathing hard, groaned as Vasan pulled away from his cock. As it curved to the left, searching for her mouth, its owner looked at the asari standing over him, "What's wrong, kitten?"

Vasan said nothing as she watched Psyria move into the shadows. Psyria wanted nothing more than to be out of that human's filth and the more she dealt with non-asari, the more she wanted to return to Thessia.

"Come on," Harkin clumsily reached up and grabbed Vasan's breast, "Let ole' Harkin show you what a man can do."

Both asari would have liked to show ole' Harkin what they could do, what pain really felt like when your mind was being stripped away, but they had a mission. Vasan led the human to his bedroom and stripping his clothes off, pulled him to the bed. As his fat fingers groped her, she looked down at his semi-hard rod and was surprised at how thick it was. She began to think of Psyria and as she replaced Harkin with the image of her occasional lover, she began to straddle him.

Psyria waited until she heard the bed and the male groaning before she sat before the typewriter. These had been revived and used by people who wanted to stay below the radar. The office of Tevos needed to do just that. _Do not make him release too soon_, Psyria pressed upon Vasan, as she put on gloves, placed a blank piece of paper into the carriage and began typing. Another groan, skin slapping against skin and the bed following the urgency of his need, Psyria continued typing, knowing that the human wouldn't hear a building blow up under the bruises of the asari.

* * *

><p>Shepard thanked God as she heard the arm of the first shyno snap under her weight. The second shyno lunged at her and Shepard slammed the trash can into her face. <em>Strike two!<em> Shepard turned back to the first shyno and ripped the hood off her and whispered, "You should have stayed in Japan."

The shyno tried to fight her with her good arm but Shepard throat stabbed her and then inserted her fingers into the shyno's mouth, pulling away from the centerline of the body. _I will not die today!_ The shyno began to struggle harder against her but it was hopeless.

The second shyno struggled up and Shepard twirled around, still fish hooking the first assassin and drove her heel into the second shyno's stomach. The fish hooked shyno dropped to her knees, hands clawing at Shepard, as the kicked shyno landed on her ass again, this time against the wall next to the last stall.

As Shepard continued to rip apart the face of the first shyno, she saw the stall door begin to open in her peripheral vision. Her aunt had heard the slap against the wall and, peeking under her stall door, saw legs splayed on the floor. Shepard felt the panic rising in her as the assassin continued to struggle under her.

"No!" Shepard twirled again, trying to hide what she was doing as she felt the shyno's mouth ripping farther apart. "Close the door!"

Melanie heard her niece's strained voice and quickly closed herself back in, but not before throwing the empty wine glass at the person splayed on the floor and yelling, "Leave my niece alone!"

"Keep the fucking door closed!" Shepard yelled, cringing at her own words. She had never thought to ever speak rudely or without respect to her aunt. But she was afraid that the shyno would get up and hurt her. _I'll apologize later._

* * *

><p>"Have you been to Earth?" Elizabeth asked, taking a bite of Shepard's leftover strawberry cheesecake.<p>

"No," Liara smiled, "But Shepard tells me that Savannah is beautiful."

"No other place is as beautiful as Georgia," Elizabeth said. "Maybe one day you can come visit us on Tybee Island? You can meet my crazy husband, picnic on the beach and we can even take you shopping where Lil'Bit bought that bracelet."

"Lil'Bit?" Liara tilted her head, hearing Shepard's nickname for the first time.

"Oh, dear," Elizabeth looked at Chakwas and Liara. "I try and call her Elizabeth when not with the family. It embarrasses her. Please don't tell her I called her that."

"You should hear what I call her," Chakwas said, pursing her lips. "If you don't tell her, I won't."

Liara looked over towards the ladies room, "I think I'll check on the Commander."

"Check on her?" Elizabeth did not understand why Shepard would need to be checked on. "Elizabeth and Melanie are probably talking."

"Of course," Liara smiled, but something felt wrong. "I will only be a moment."

"We find it wise to keep the Commander on a short leash," Chakwas joked, as she watched Liara disappear in the crowd.

"She's like her father," Elizabeth smiled as she poured them both another glass of wine. "He was always into trouble or breaking things as a little boy."

* * *

><p>The mirror shattered as Shepard slammed into it; one of her Louboutin heels coming off and flying across the room. <em>Oh, hell, no!<em> Shepard was not losing her shoes in this fight. She pulled the other shoe off and tossed it towards its mate. Now both heels were sitting on top of the dead shyno, her face distorted and her own blade in her throat.

The second shyno was even quicker with her blade than the first and as Shepard stepped back, the blade skimmed across Shepard's stomach. The cut was not deep enough to gut her but Shepard felt a stinging kiss. Looking down at the long slice across her abdomen, Shepard's mind focused on the tear in her dress instead, "This cost me over twenty thousand credits, bitch!"

Melanie heard more banging, muffled grunts, shuffling and once something slammed against the stall door causing her to scream, "I'm not opening the door! I promise!"

Shepard would have laughed, after seeing her aunt throw two toilet paper rolls and seat liners over the stall door. She knew that her aunt didn't fully comprehend what was going on; she probably thought this was some kind of massive cat fight. And if Shepard could keep her thinking that, at least until she had silenced the threat, that's all she wanted.

With her mind wandering to her aunt and the items being tossed from her stall at them, it gave an opportunity for the shyno to kick her so hard that she felt her legs give out and all she could think to do was push her body into the shyno's midriff.

"You should have stayed in Japan like your partner," Shepard grunted as they both fell down, and a toilet paper roll hit the top of her head. _How many rolls are in that stall? _

Shepard grabbed the hilt of the blade, but let go as she cried out in pain. The shyno had begun to push against the throwing star still in Shepard's shoulder. Shepard tried to keep in control, but the shyno rolled over on top of her.

Mel, who had rushed out at the sound of Shepard's cry, screamed, "Get off her! She doesn't want your man! She's got a girlfriend now!"

"Get! Back! In! The! Stall!" Shepard screamed between the grappling that was going on between her and the shyno on the floor. How her aunt had not seen the dead body, blood, her new accessory in her shoulder, all that was wrong in that room, was a mystery. Was it because it was just too much for her aunt to take in? To accept? _Worry about her later! _

The stall door, now called Mel's Place, slammed shut as the two continued to fight like rabid dogs, clawing and biting each other. Both were desperate to gain control. Who was winning was up for debate as each was in pain and giving pain. Shepard heard a loud knock on the bathroom door and bit down as hard as she could on the shyno's hand. As the shyno screamed, Shepard thought she heard some kind of bang. She wasn't sure as she was struggling to get a Japanese woman off her. And no, it wasn't as sexy as it sounded.

As the two struggled, Shepard and the shyno both started to yell as they felt their bodies start to lift. Liara threw both of them against the wall, wanting to break them apart as quick as she could. Shepard was struggling to catch her breath, when she was pulled back to Liara. Shepard tried to speak, unable to catch her breath temporarily and as she looked up, Liara looked down at her, emotionless. The detached look on the asari's face scared her. It said that she was nobody to this creature and that her inability of breathing meant nothing as well. _Liara?_

Liara seeing that Shepard was going to survive, stepped over her and using her biotics, slammed the shyno against the back wall, over and over and over and over and over. She only stopped when the shyno had almost folded up like a chair into the hole that had been created. As Shepard looked at the feet and arms sticking out of that hole, it reminded her of a cartoon she once saw.

Liara knew that the assassin was dead after the second throw but she was angry. This person had raised her hand against Liara's house. She had tried to take what belonged to a T'Soni. She had tried to claim what Liara had already claimed. She had tried to take Shepard from her by force. The penalty for such an act was death. This person deserved nothing less than to be scraped up off the wall when she was finished.

* * *

><p>"Why can't we N7's have nice things?" Salvatore asked, looking at all the damage in the bathroom.<p>

Shepard looked at him as she continued to hold her crying aunt, "I'm sorry."

"Shyno?" Salvatore sounded worried as he bent down. "Who have you pissed off?"

Shepard shot him a warning look as she held her aunt closer, "It's okay, Aunt Mel."

"Okay?" Melanie looked up, eyes filled with tears, "Okay? There are two dead bodies and you … you have a star sticking out of you and your stomach is … is … you could have died!"

Shepard held her aunt closer as the woman broke down again, "Shhh."

"Shepard?" Chakwas entered the restroom with Liara as Girard stood watch just outside the door. "I swear we can't take you anywhere."

"My grandma?" Shepard looked at Chakwas worried that she would find out what had happened.

"Greg is dancing with her," Chakwas answered, "He'll keep her charmed and she'll probably steal him from me."

"My dress is ruined," Shepard frowned, the top half folded over the bottom leaving just her bra."

"I think it looks better that way," Salvatore said, before walking out of the restroom and making a phone call.

"How can you care about your dress?" Melanie asked, pushing away from her niece. "Do none of you know how horrible this is? My niece could have been killed by these ninjas?"

"Shyno," Shepard rubbed her back but stopped when she received the Shepard glare.

"We need to check you out," Chakwas said, placing her always present doctor's bag on the counter, as she looked at the small amounts of blood that was trickling down Shepard's stomach and left leg.

"One second," Shepard said, pulling her aunt over to the sink. She tore off a piece of her dress, wet it in the sink and began to clean her aunt's face. "I know this is a lot to take in. But this is what I do."

"But they were trying to kill you," Melanie grabbed Shepard's hand that was wiping her face. "And you killed them. Your parents wouldn't want this. We don't want this. You could die!"

Shepard could see that her aunt was starting to have a mini-breakdown and so she put her hand against her cheek, lowering her voice, "Just breath. In, out, in, out." Melanie tried to do as she was told but in between the breaths were sniffles. "Now listen to me. There are bad people out there and it is my job to keep those bad people from good people like you."

"I am not a child," Melanie sniffled. "Do not talk to me like I am one. You could die and might have this very night."

"No," Shepard said, her voice trying to stay soft, "I will not die. Not today and certainly not while you are with me. I mean, you can throw a mean wine glass and toilet roll when you want to."

"Do you think this is funny?" Melanie was upset and not having any of Eli's humor.

"No," Shepard could see that her aunt was scared for her and not accepting of this violent type of existence. "I just want you to know that I have no plans on dying. None. If someone were to even tell you I'm dead, laugh in their face. I wouldn't do that to you or grandma or grandpa, you have my promise."

"You can't promise that," Melanie said, blowing her nose in the torn piece of Shepard's dress.

"Do you know how much that material costs?" Shepard had to ask.

Melanie gave her the Shepard look again.

"Never mind," Shepard wondered if she could expense the dress to the Alliance, "I just want you to know that I'm not only hard to kill; there are others around me that refuse to let me take that vacation to mom and dad in heaven, as well. Look, even the nice asari won't be left out of my schoolyard fights."

Melanie looked over at Liara, "Thank you."

"Don't thank her," Shepard said, looking at Liara and then back to her aunt. "She just had to play the hero when she knew that I had it all under control. The asari not only think they know better, they think they are better. Isn't that right, Liara?"

"Yes, Shepard," Liara said, taking more vids of the crime scene, as Girard told another group of women that the restroom was closed. _Plumbing problems. Restroom in main section. Thank you._

"Shepard," Chakwas moved her bag closer to the Commander and began to look at the star. "I must insist that you let me tend to your injuries."

Shepard, feeling a little light-headed knew that if she didn't let Chakwas have her way, she might pass out. That would just give her aunt one more reason to drag her butt back to Tybee Island. "Fine. But send the bill to Dr. T'Soni, she can afford it."

* * *

><p>The only sound in that room was the bed, his groans and the slapping of skin. The asari made small sounds that were easily drowned out and he was accustomed to that. It didn't matter as he felt her tighten around him. He had thought that she was giving him a heart attack as she continued to receive and reject his shaft inside her.<p>

He had tried to grab on to her but she had only increased her speed and his heart was pounding in his ear. He tried to talk but all of his strength was needed below his waist. The asari heard him groaning and knew that she could make him cry if she wanted. She had found his kind weak and unsatisfying. As he continued to gurgle and groan, she looked at the faded photo of the human with his wife and son.

Psyria finished the letter, removed it and looked for an envelope in the desk's drawer. As she folded the letter she looked at the Scotland Yard commendation and then went into the kitchen. There she lightly wet the envelope using tap water instead of her own saliva. She moved into the bedroom, placed the envelope on the dresser and before leaving joined briefly with Vasan; _It is finished._

Vasan gave a little moan as Psyria kissed her in thought before leaving. Harkin was grunting, his legs shaking as Vasan placed her finger against Harkin's neck and applied just enough pressure to make him release his seed. As he collapsed, she slid off of him, picked up both her clothes and the envelope as she left the human sweating, panting and holding his cock as his other hand rubbed his chest, "You ever been fucked like that, kitten?"

Vasan grabbed a paper towel and wiped herself dry, then dressed quickly and left the apartment. As the door softly closed behind her, she bent down and pushed the envelope back into the room. _We all must sacrifice for Thessia. _

* * *

><p>"Your family is back at the apartment," Girard said, as the bodies of the two shyno were being placed in body bags. "Adams said that he is returning to the Normandy if you need him. Kaidan also said that he checked the place out before they got there and there weren't any signs of an intruder."<p>

The small group inside the restroom had waited until the restaurant had closed, the staff completed their duties and the place was completely emptied. Now the clean-up operation could start in secret. Salvatore had called a fellow N7 who had brought a sweep team of four to help in the task.

"We need to make sure that no one finds these bodies or evidence of foul play here," Salvatore said, placing boxes of tile on the counter. "Thankfully my wife has a way of buying more than we need."

"At some point they will figure out those two failed," Shepard whispered to Salvatore.

"True," he said, looking at the asari picking up Shepard's heels and purse. "But it won't be for a while."

"I hope you're right," Shepard said, touching her bandaged shoulder. "If the asari hadn't shown up, I'm not so sure how it would have ended."

"Here is the key to my place," Salvatore said, placing them in his jacket pocket that was draped over her shoulders. "Celina and I have a bathroom to repair tonight."

"I can't," Shepard said as she started to take the jacket off.

"Please," Salvatore said, stopping her. "Look at this room. It has to be opened by tomorrow as if nothing happened here and you need a place to stay for tonight. Celina says that she will meet you there, help you pick out some clothes and then she'll be back here. No one can tile a room like her, if you listen to her."

"Thanks," Shepard said, looking at her staff. "Girard, here is the address that I'll be staying at tonight. Send over two guards to stand outside just in case they weren't alone. I'll also need two of your best assigned to my home. If anything happens to my grandmother or aunt …"

"Nothing will happen to them," Girard cut her off. "Or you."

"I'll come with you," Chakwas said, grabbing her bag.

"No," Shepard looked at Liara and back at Chakwas, "I want Liara with me until we determine that there are no other surprises waiting. Her biotic skills trump a doctor's bag tonight."

"And what about me and my worthless bag?" Chakwas asked, feeling left out and a little insulted.

"I need you to follow up with Adams on the Normandy and tell him to have Tali listen for chatter that seems suspect," Shepard said, leading her out of the restroom and into the lounge. "If these two weren't here alone or if they were communicating with someone on the Arc, then I think that given Tali's skills she might lock on to them."

"Is that all?" Chakwas asked, looking at the empty lounge.

"Not quite," Shepard answered, pulling the dinner jacket tighter, "Now is when that doctor's bag of tricks comes into play. After you meet with Adams, I need you to go to Joker's place on the pretense of a medical visit. Once inside, let him know what has happened. I need his friend Wang to do a sweep of my apartment. I'll tell my grandma that my apartment is in need of its yearly inspection. He'll need to dress as a maintenance man."

"Yes, Commander," Chakwas said goodbye to Liara and then left the two alone in the lounge.

Liara watched as Shepard headed for the bar and grabbed unopened bottles of elasa and whiskey, "Do you think that there are more on the Arcturus Station?"

Shepard smiled, placing a bottle in the black dinner jacket pockets, "No, that was it."

"Then why are you having all of this done?" Liara asked as Shepard stood up on the foot rail on the bar to look at her eye-to-eye.

"Concerning Adams, there could still be chatter that might help us," Shepard answered. "Joker, there may be listening devices in my home and if I have an urge to have a sleepover after my family is gone, I want to know your words are for me only."

"And tonight?" Liara asked, looking at Shepard's lips.

"I can't let my grandmother see my damaged dress," Shepard smiled. "I'll need to contact the Donna Karan Boutique in the morning and have another one of these sent over to Salvatore and Celina's. This way only my aunt knows the awful truth."

"Why do you need me there?" Liara whispered, as a bodybag carrying one of the shyno was carried past them.

Shepard looked down at Liara's nipple straining against her dress, "Because I would like to think that my dress was destroyed by an asari hungry for me than a Japanese woman trying to kill me. Call me a romantic."

"But I could hurt you," Liara said, referring to Shepard's injuries.

"Promises, promises," Shepard laughed, draping her shoes over her shoulder and heading for the exit. "Try and keep up, T'Soni."


	105. Random Harvest

"Just make sure you get some rest tonight," Elizabeth said, turning on the kitchen light. "No, no, don't worry about us, we'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Lil'Bit."

Melanie had been quiet all the way home as Gregory Adams and her mother chatted about all things moonshine. Elizabeth was recommending he try the Dawsonville Moonshine of Georgia and he said that he would have a jar of his latest Normandy batch sent to her in the morning.

_Eli's blood_. Melanie had kept her evening jacket closed tight as she tried to hide the evidence. There was blood on her dress where she had hugged Eli. Every time that she saw the stains she fought throwing up because this was her baby's blood. Then there was the threat of tears. How many times did she almost break down and start crying? Too many to count. But she had held it together as she forced herself to focus on her mother. The only thing that she couldn't completely stop were the shakes. She tried but it was no use. When her mother had seen her trembling, Melanie blamed it on the wine. She knew that if her mother had any idea what had happened in that bathroom she would, Melanie closed her eyes, she couldn't even imagine what her mother would do.

"Momma, I'm going to take a soak," Melanie said as she headed straight for the bathroom.

"What did you think of Dr. Liara T'Soni?" Elizabeth asked, kicking off her heels and changing out of her dress in the bedroom.

_Stop shaking_, Melanie told herself as she started the bathwater. "She seemed nice and tall."

"She is going to teach me that elious painting I told you about," Elizabeth said, coming into the bathroom and adding lavender & chamomile to the water. "This may help relax you."

"That smells good," Melanie tried to smile, holding a towel over the blood stains. "Can you make us a pot of coffee?"

"You're not tired either?" Elizabeth said, motioning her daughter to get up and let her unclasp her necklace.

"No," Melanie said, turning around and kissing her mother on the cheek. "Thank you."

"You looked pretty tonight," Elizabeth smiled at her youngest. "Do you want to play spades after your bath as well?"

"Gin, if you don't mind," Melanie answered, sitting on the edge of the tub and testing the temperature of the water.

"Don't take too long," Elizabeth nodded, shutting the door behind her.

Melanie looked at the closed door and then slowly pulled the towel away. She looked at her niece's blood on her, remembered how Eli had looked and then there were the two dead bodies, _Oh, Lord_. Melanie began to shake harder as she covered her mouth. She fought against the groans that were trying to escape as her tears fell. There were people who had tried to kill Eli, her baby girl. She did not see Shepard as a grown woman but as that newborn baby that Pierce had placed in her arms and whispered; _Say hello to your amazing aunt Melly, Eli. I just know that you two are going to love each other. Your aunt is the kindest woman I know next to your momma. Isn't she beautiful, sissy? She's so small. Look at those tiny fingers. _

* * *

><p>Liara stepped into the shower shortly after they had arrived at the Byrne residence. Shepard spent that time with Celina and then once alone called her grandmother. The story told was that there was a small emergency on the Normandy that needed her attention and that she would be back at the apartment no later than noon.<p>

_You are going to hell for all the lies you've told_, Shepard said as she hung up with her grandmother. Shepard had hoped to talk with her aunt, to assure her again that everything would be all right. Who was she kidding? Shepard didn't even believe that. All she could hope is that her aunt was okay. She hated that she had been subjected to that part of her life. Shepard cursed whoever had hired the shyno and swore that if she found them she would rip their hearts out.

The sound of Liara showering finally drew Shepard to the bathroom. She opened the door, stood in the entryway, glass of ice water in her hand, and looked at Liara through the shower's clear glass doors. She was tempted to climb into the shower with her, but there were three things keeping her in the entryway. First, she knew how cold the asari liked her showers, second, her body was starting to stiffen and third, she was in pain. _Three strikes_. The pain was her fault, of course. Shepard had refused the pain pills that Chakwas had offered and now she was regretting it, just as Chakwas said she would.

Liara looked over at her and smiled as she finished washing her body, "Do you want me to turn up the hot water?"

"I think my grandma likes you," Shepard said, taking a drink of her water and ignoring Liara's invite.

"You did not tell me that she paints," Liara said, sliding the shower door open after rinsing off all the soap.

"Watercolors," Shepard said, grabbing a towel and walking to the shower, "She was an English teacher but my dad told me that she also taught art at the local community center."

"A teacher," Liara took the towel and glass of water as Shepard reached around her and turned up the hot water and lowered the cold.

"How do you stand your shower that cold?" Shepard asked, as Liara brushed up against her on the way out of the shower. Liara put the glass of water on the counter as she watched Shepard start to undress. There were small nicks all over her body and as Shepard removed her bra, Liara wanted her but there was also something else she wanted. What information had been in the beacon. She had fought her desire to know immediately after Shepard woke up, in order to give Shepard time to recuperate. There was also the fact that the human fought the joining, hated it. But now she worried that if Shepard died, the vision would be lost with her. She could not let that happen.

"What's on your mind, Liara?" Shepard could see that the asari was deep in thought.

"I will need supplies to teach your grandmother elious," Liara said, going back to drying off her body and keeping her thoughts private.

"There's an art supply store near my gym," Shepard said, stepping into the shower. "We can go sometime this week, if you want."

"We can go in the morning," Liara said. "I want to start teaching her after dinner tomorrow. There is so much that she has to learn, but with our limited time I will have to teach her just the bare minimum."

"Yes, Professor T'Soni," Shepard gave a small laugh as she looked at Liara dropping the towel in the hamper and leaving the room.

Liara heard Shepard making small sounds of discomfort as she checked her messages and sent a response to Calandra about the next Chaironton Festival. They had spoken of celebrating it in Messonia together and Liara was considering it. If the threat was over and life back to normal, Liara just might have free time to visit the T'Soni seaside estate there. Maybe Shepard could go with her as well. The thought of the Commander on Thessia excited her. To show her the beauty of the land, the architecture, the citizens, the history, the sounds of their many tongues, the customs, the music, the dance, the food, her family, friends, the places she worked, the restaurants, sitruuna houses, skyball and most of all, her home in Armali was more than Liara could hope for. She wanted Shepard to see who she and her people really were. This could not be done except on Thessia.

Liara put on Salvatore's Rat Pack pajama top that was left out for her, poured herself a glass of elasa, curled up on the sectional couch and turned on the screen. Frank Sinatra popped up in holo form and was singing _The Way You Look Tonight_. Liara pulled a small pillow over to her and curling up on her side as she waited for Shepard, fell asleep to Sinatra crooning to her.

* * *

><p>"You can't wear that," Joker told Wang who was holding up a Cosmic Pizza &amp; Ale delivery shirt. "Dr. Chakwas said that we needed a maintenance uniform."<p>

"Shit!" Wang scratched his head, tapping his foot to the Reticulating Splines' _Dirt Metal Girl_. "I've got an idea."

"Grab me a beer," Joker said, looking at the scanner that could detect almost every bug out there on the market that Wang had stolen from his job at the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB.

"Do you wanna slice as well?" Wang asked, draping the shirt over one of the stools and looking at the meat lover's pizza from Cosmic's.

"Four," Joker said, putting down the equipment. Wang dropped the beer and four slices of pizza on the new addition to the apartment. Joker had special ordered a Han Solo carbon freeze coffee table and poor Han was looking up at a wooden outhouse. Joker pulled out his bottle of Ass Blaster Hot Sauce from the outhouse as Wang headed back to the kitchen.

"I'll scan your place as well," Wang said, pulling out duct tape and black marker from a kitchen drawer. "You never know."

Joker nodded, mouthful of pizza and hot sauce.

"Did you see the latest sekin they have of Shepard?" Wang asked, talking about the adult entertainment world that created movies of famous and infamous people in sexual encounters. The salarian programs used to make these types of images, either moving or static, were highly forbidden on Earth after it had been used to try and topple a Senator.

Joker shook his head as he drank his beer. He did not want his records searched and any sekin with Shepard popping up. Not because he was afraid of being fined, hell he watched sekin all the time, but he did not want to risk the wrath of his Commander.

"Hot!" Wang said, writing on the duct tape. "The way she yaks that turian Councilor is unbelievable. The vid has even outranked Aspasia in _Hanar Six_."

Joker spit out his beer as the image of Shepard yakking Councilor Sparatus invaded his mind. _Wrong, so frackin' wrong!_

"Here!" Wang held up the pizza shirt with the original tag covered by the duct tape, the words Maintenance Man written on it in black marker.

Joker looked at the shirt, "What the fu…?"

* * *

><p><em>Please be asleep<em>, Shepard silently prayed as she limped into the living room. Her body, no longer in fight mode, was yelling at her. The muscles had done their job when needed but now her arms protested if she tried to lift them too high and her lower back was in the middle of a spasm class. _Please don't make me deliver on my stupid boasts tonight._

Frank Sinatra seemed to be looking at Shepard as he proclaimed it was time for _Makin' Whoopee_. Shepard breathed a sigh of relief as she moved around the couch and the sleeping asari came into view. _Thank Dino, no whoopee_. Even with a sore, bruised and wounded body, Liara's derrière exposed beneath the Ring-A-Ding-Ding! Pajama top made Shepard smile; _the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak_.

Weak?_ Try useless_, she thought as she tried to raise her arms up midway. She had held that shyno too long as she had struggled to get away from Shepard and now her arm muscles were starting to bite. _I get you alone again and all I can do is watch you sleep._ Liara stretched her arm and then faced the ceiling, her shirt opening to reveal more curves, and Shepard cursed all things dressed in black; Except for Johnny Cash, of course.

Liara said something in her sleep but it was in that mystery language of hers and Shepard responded, "Stop, the way you go on about me is embarrassing. I know, I know, I'm sexy." Shepard then located a light blanket, covered Liara and kissed her on the cheek. Shepard then turned and there sat the asari's drink, half empty. Shepard grinned, lifted the glass and mimicking Liara said, "It is mine," before drinking it. Waving the empty glass at the sleeping asari, Shepard whispered, "_Why didn't you stop me, T'Soni? Too quick for you?_"

_What do I do now?_ Wide-awake Shepard asked as she looked around and decided to pour herself a tall drink of whiskey, say goodnight to Frankie and look through the video selection for some entertainment. _Blasto Saves Christmas? No. Call Me Sally? Uh-huh. Pink Skin? Tempting. The Bell Tower of the Blitz? Hell-to-the-frackin-no! Random Harvest? Love, love, love!_

Shepard chose the 1942 film and carefully sat down next to Liara, who softly murmured as she curled up her legs and pulled the covers up to her neck. Shepard took a drink of her whiskey and then started the movie._ Momma, I wish you were here. _This had been one of Hannah's favorite films and Shepard fell in love with it as well. How many times had the two watched it together? _Not enough times_, Shepard thought as she pulled the blanket on Liara down, kissed her lightly on the arm and put the blanket back.

* * *

><p>"You're mother messaged me the recipe to this lotion for my stomach," Grace was telling Kaidan as he rubbed the concoction over her belly. "Its equal parts cocoa butter, shea butter, almond oil, and Vitamin E. She is so excited for us."<p>

"I'm glad," Kaidan smiled as he used his free hand to turn up Hall & Oates' _Kiss on my List_.

"Kaidan, can you take a leave?" Grace asked, as she turned on to her side, moving closer to him. "I don't want to have her without you. I want the first person to hold her to be you; her daddy."

"Let me think about it," Kaidan said, wiping the belly oil off his left hand and helping her get more comfortable. "Grace, can we name her Madeline?"

"That's a pretty name," Grace said, glad that he had not said that SpecTRe woman's name.

The kettle began to whistle in the kitchen, "Be right back with your Chamomile tea."

"Kaidan," Grace grabbed his hand, "You do want this baby?"

Kaidan could see the doubt in her eyes and hated to be the source of any pain. He leaned over, kissing her on the forehead; "Of course. I've always dreamt of having a daughter of my own."

"I love you," Grace said, reluctantly letting his hand go.

Kaidan hurried to the kitchen, pulling the kettle off the stove. He rubbed his temples as he pulled out a cup and placed a tea bag in it. _Shepard._ Even on the Arc her life was at risk. Was there no place that she was safe? Pulling a tray out from the cupboard, he remembered seeing her as he spoke with Girard just outside of the restroom. Shepard was holding her aunt, trying to comfort her as she wore a torn dress, cuts and blood smeared on her body.

"Damn it!" Kaidan, angry, punched the wall next to the fridge.

"Kaidan?" Grace called out, "Is everything all right?"

"Fine," Kaidan said, opening the freezer and placing his hand in the container of ice.

"Can you also bring me some potato chips and ice cream?" Grace asked.

"Is that what the baby craves?" Kaidan asked, wishing that the woman carrying his child was Shepard. That the woman in that bedroom was the woman he loved and he hated himself for it.

After delivering the tray and making sure that Grace was comfortable, he left her in the bedroom and went to the bathroom. As he stripped he could hear Sting's _Whenever I Say Your Name_ playing in the other room. He stepped into the shower and put his face under the shower head. He would talk to his dad about all of his options when he arrived. Kaidan wanted to do the right thing for Grace and their daughter.

_Shepard._ This would have been so much easier if he had never met her. But he had and he couldn't stop thinking about her. He knew that he loved her. That she was the reason that he could not simply marry Grace. Kaidan put his forehead against the cold tile; _what do I do, Shepard?_

"Can I wash your back?" Grace asked, slipping into the shower with him.

"Grace," Kaidan turned around, covering his member and wiping the water out of his eyes.

"You don't want me?" Grace said, looking hurt.

"It's not that," Kaidan answered, feeling even more confused. "I just don't want to hurt you or the baby."

Grace smiled, relieved as she pressed against him, "The doctor said its safe."

* * *

><p>"Shepard?" Liara was awakened by Shepard sniffling. "Is something wrong?"<p>

"I'm sorry," Shepard whispered, shifting over on the couch as Liara sat up.

"Are you crying?" Liara asked, as Shepard froze the image on the screen.

"She just told him that their baby boy died," Shepard answered, pointing at the screen.

"Who?" Liara looked at the image as Shepard got up to refill her drink.

"Paula," Shepard answered, pulling out the two bottles she took from the Thirsty Turtle. "You see that man? That's Smithy. He was a World War I soldier who lost his memory and so he was placed in a hospital."

"How did he lose his memory?" Liara asked, never having heard of that. "Do you humans do that?"

"Asari don't suffer amnesia?" Shepard asked, opening the elasa bottle.

Liara shook her head, looking horrified at the thought of her memories being lost.

"Of course not," Shepard shook her head and saying more to herself, "asari are perfect."

"You do not need to be rude," Liara said, with a disapproving look on her face.

"I'm only human," Shepard shrugged and then laughed at her own joke.

"The story?" Liara pushed, looking even more displeased.

Shepard looked over at Liara and knew that she had raced out on the asari's thin ice giggling like a suicidal idiot, "Right. We humans when traumatized or have a head injury can lose our memory. Look it up if you are really that curious. Anyway, Smithy's memory was lost because of all that he had seen in the war; dying, suffering, loss, just plain shell-shocked. So one evening he walks off the hospital grounds and into a pub where Paula, that woman there, is singing. They meet, she takes pity on his poor lost soul and voila!"

"Voila?" Liara looked at the screen.

"They fall in love," Shepard said, dropping ice in her glass. "Even though he has no memory of his past, it doesn't matter to them. Love and all. They get married, find a cute little happy cottage and have a baby. Life is perfect. Right?"

"But you said their baby died," Liara looked at Shepard, who was walking towards her.

"I'm getting to that," Shepard said, "So impatient, doctor. Where was I?"

"A perfect life," Liara reminded her.

"Thank you," Shepard continued, "But then, like all great love stories, they are separated."

"Why?" Liara asked, taking her drink from Shepard and straightening her pajama top.

"Because true love requires pain," Shepard answered, stealing a peek beneath Liara's shirt.

"Shepard," Liara smiled, pulling her top closed. "How were they separated?"

"Some would say fate. Some would say an evil writer. Doesn't matter. Smithy is in another town on business and is hit by a car," Shepard answered, carefully sitting down next to her. "That accident gives him back his memory that he lost but takes what he does remember in exchange."

"He does not remember her," Liara said, pulling Shepard closer.

"Ouch! Careful, Brutus," Shepard rubbed her right arm. "I'm a little tender right now."

"Shepard!" Liara wanted to know the story.

"You are an abusive lover," Shepard teased, moving Liara's pajama top to reveal her breast.

"And you can be frustrating," Liara said, pushing Shepard's hand away. "Does he or does he not remember her?"

"No, he doesn't remember anything of those years," Shepard answered. "He doesn't remember the hospital, the pub, the cottage, the baby or his Paula."

"And their baby died?" Liara looked at the screen again.

"I am cheating you out of watching how the story unfolds," Shepard smiled as she set the video to restart. "Be prepared to fall in love with Smithy and Paula."

"You do not mind starting over?" Liara asked, checking Shepard's shoulder.

"I will use any excuse to restart this movie," Shepard said, brushing Liara's hand away.

"Shepard, earlier this evening," Liara whispered, running her fingers down Shepard's left arm. "I was afraid that I had lost you."

Shepard looked at Liara, "You mean you were afraid that you'd killed me. I was trying not to bring that up but since you have, Liara Sue, shall we talk? You actually threw me against the wall and then pulled me back like a tart. A tart!"

"I was trying to pull her off you," Liara said, taking Shepard's drink and placing it next to hers on the coffee table. "Do we have to discuss it?"

"I know why you don't want to discuss it," Shepard squinted at her before adding, "You were showing me that you could beat my ass!"

"Can we please watch Smithy and Paula?" Liara turned towards the screen.

Shepard looked at Liara's profile and raised a brow, "As long as you know that you were not nice to me. You hurt me."

"The movie, please," Liara was not finding her throwing Shepard against the wall amusing. It had to be done but she did not want to discuss or hear jokes about it.

_Thin ice_, Shepard thought as she looked at Liara's emotionless face. But she just could not resist one more poke, "Consider yourself lucky that I don't call the Arc police and report you, T'Soni. There is a law on the Arc against asari throwing humans about. They call it the tart law."

* * *

><p>0326 … the clock told Kaidan that he should be sleeping like Grace. But his mind would not stop turning and his heart would not stop hurting. He quietly exited the bed and looking down at Grace. He wished that he could be everything she needed. <em>You have to put this to rest,<em> he told himself as he pulled on a pair of briefs, blue jeans and white long-sleeved dress shirt. Grabbing a pair of socks and his black boots, he tip-toed out of the bedroom and finished his dressing in the living room.

After putting on his boots, he stood and looked at his reflection in the mirror over the couch and knew that he was taking the ultimate risk. But it had to end that early morning. He had to say what he felt and if she turned him away, he would deal with it. How? He didn't know, but he would find a way. Maybe she could help him. He looked at the time again and grabbing his grey pea coat headed out of the apartment where he called Girard.

"Allô?" Girard answered, sounding groggy.

"Girard," Kaidan said, walking towards the Arc tube. "Do you know where the Commander is staying tonight?"

"Quoi?" Girard was struggling to wake up.

"Shepard," Kaidan rubbed his temples. "Where is Shepard staying? I need to speak with her."

"Kaidan?" Girard sounded surprised and agitated, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes," Kaidan was desperate. "Where is she? It's important."

* * *

><p>The film had finished with Shepard semi-asleep and Liara cuddled next to her, "They found each other."<p>

"Of course," Shepard said half-asleep and moved away from Liara.

Liara turned off the screen, put the blanket over Shepard and picked up their empty glasses. Walking into the kitchen she wondered if she should bring up the beacon while they were alone. If that second beacon did contain the same message she might be able to discover what the conduit was. But she had to get inside Shepard's mind again. Easier said than done.

Placing the dried glasses back in the cupboard, Liara returned to the living room and looked down at Shepard. If Shepard had died, what she had received would have been lost. Liara bent down, brushed Shepard's hair back and kissed her eyelid.

"You're still mean," Shepard said, opening her eyes as Liara pulled back.

"I liked the movie," Liara said, helping Shepard sit up.

"Ouch," Shepard grabbed her shoulder and looked over at the time … 0406. "We're not going to get much sleep tonight, are we?"

"I need to ask you something," Liara knew that Shepard would not be pleased with her request. But she had to have the answers to her questions. She had to know what was in that message.

"Sure," Shepard said, reaching for Liara to help her up.

"The Beacon," Liara said as Shepard stood and moved away from Liara.

"No," Shepard said, thinking of the visions and Metentis. "You are not going into my mind again."

"But Shepard," Liara watched as the Commander headed for the bathroom. "There could be answers on where this conduit is."

"I said no, Liara," Shepard was not going to let the asari into her mind. This was not just her hating to let others up into her mind, she would not risk Liara seeing all that she had witnessed. _What if all that darkness swallowed her up? What if she saw those dreams?_

Liara grabbed Shepard by the arm, "Why are you afraid of letting me in?"

"Is that why you wanted to be with me?" Shepard asked, removing her hand. "Is that why you left Aethoyner?"

"Not the only reason," Liara answered truthfully, not realizing that it would hurt Shepard.

"Fuck you!" Shepard was hurt and wanted to hurt Liara back.

"I have angered you," Liara watched as Shepard opened the medicine cabinet looking for aspirin or anything to cut the pain.

"You are only using me," Shepard said through grit teeth. "Why should that anger me?"

"You know that is not true," Liara could not believe how childish and emotional the Commander could be at times. "I did not want to be away from you and I also wanted to learn what the message was in hopes that we could stop Saren. Why does one negate the other?"

Shepard glared at Liara, angry that she did not understand why it did, at least to her. She wanted Liara to just want her. Nothing more. She was about to say things that she would later regret when the doorbell rang.

Liara could feel Shepard's dark mood as they both looked towards the front door. Shepard said something in her mother's tongue and began to walk to the door. Liara stopped her and touched her bandaged shoulder, "Let me."

Shepard watched as Liara answered the door and felt only more anger when she heard Kaidan's voice. She was not up to any of this. Not Liara's need to see inside her or Kaidan's need to be in her. Was there anyone that didn't want something from her? Was there no place she could go without being used?

"Is something wrong?" Liara asked, as Kaidan walked into the living area.

"I need to speak to the Commander," he said, looking at her state of dress.

"She is in the washroom," Liara said, seeing his discomfort at her lack of clothes but she was more concerned about Shepard's mood.

Kaidan watched as Liara headed into the bathroom as he took a seat on the couch. Seeing a blanket on the sectional told him that the two had not slept together, not that he thought they were together. But it still made him breathe easier to see confirmation of that.

Liara collected her thoughts before she slipped back into the bathroom where Shepard was splashing water on her face. "Kaidan is here and needs to speak with you. Do you want me to stay in the bedroom while you two talk?"

"Tell him that I'll speak with him tomorrow," Shepard said, not looking at Liara. "I'm not in the mood right now."

"We do not always get our way, Commander," Liara said, turning Shepard's face towards her. "You can be angry at me later but now, please talk to him."

"You don't understand, Liara," Shepard pulled away from her, "He wants more than I can give him. I can't help him."

"Kaidan cares about you," Liara said. "He respects you. He needs your help or he would not be here now. You must try and help him."

"Help him?" Shepard could not believe that Liara was blind to why he was there. "What if helping him simply means dragging him into the bedroom? What if all he wants is for me to love him?"

Liara looked at Shepard and knew that Kaidan and Shepard were attracted to one another. She had seen Shepard look at Kaidan in a sexual way but it did not concern her. Desire was very natural and not something to be ashamed of. Liara also did not feel threatened by him. He was a human and could not please Shepard on the level she could, nor did he arouse her as she had. Liara was a Porsche, Kaidan a Pinto and Shepard the driver. The Porsche would never feel threatened if the driver took a spin in a Pinto. The driver would always come back to the superior ride. Was this part of the asari arrogance? Maybe. Whatever it was, it frustrated the driver, Shepard, as Liara told her; "Only you know what you want. If you desire him then be with him. Do not let me be a factor in what you do, Shepard. I just want you to be happy."

"Damn you for not caring enough," Shepard hated how detached Liara seemed at that moment. "You asked for this."

Liara watched Shepard storm out of the bathroom and it confused her. She had shown Shepard that she respected her choices and trusted her decisions. Humans could be confusing.

Shepard put on one of Salvatore's v-neck shirts over her bra and sweat pants before re-entering the living area. As she entered, Kaidan stood up and turned to face her, "Sorry about coming here so early, Commander."

"I hope that your reason is serious enough, Lt. Alenko," Shepard said, heading in to the kitchen where she started to make coffee.

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan said, looking at his hands. "I need to make some decisions and can't make them without talking to you first."

"I see," Shepard took her time moving about the kitchen. "Well, how can I help you?"

"I'm going to be a father," Kaidan blurted out as he entered the small kitchen area.

Those words brought her back to Manny and her anger bit at her as she gripped the coffee carafe, "That waitress that you were dating?"

"Grace, yes," Kaidan wished he could see Shepard's face but she had her back to him. He had not told her about the pregnancy and was glad that Shepard had not seen Grace at the restaurant or that anyone mentioned his pending fatherhood.

"I guess congratulations are in order," Shepard said, her words clipped, as she turned around.

"It was an accident," Kaidan said, taking off his coat as Shepard leaned against the counter.

_It was an accident, Shepard_, Manny had told her all those years ago. She felt betrayed again but knew that she was being more unfair to Kaidan than she had been to Manny. She wanted to give nothing to these men but expected them to remain faithful to her. _Your nothing but a selfish bitch,_ she told herself.

"The baby is due in February," Kaidan said, wishing that things were different.

"That soon?" Shepard saw Liara slip into the living area and realized that she must have known. _What a frackin' fool she must think I am_.

"If I leave, the baby may be born while we are away," Kaidan said, looking at Shepard and wanting her to tell him that she loved him.

"How can I help you?" Shepard asked, "Do you want me to request that you are put on leave? I'm sure that I can get approval through Admiral Hackett. Or do you want to transfer to an Alliance vessel? I can arrange that as well. Just tell me what you want, Kaidan."

Kaidan could not fight his pain any longer and the words came spilling out, "I want you to love me. I want you to tell me that you feel as desperate for me as much as I do for you. That the attraction I feel is not one-sided. If not, then I beg you to send me away."

Shepard had never loved the way that this man in front of her loved her. She believed herself incapable of that kind of vulnerability and deep need. She had lost too much that her heart had protected itself from that type of pain again. She knew that his love sprang partly from her looks but there was more. Kaidan was not a foolish boy but an honorable man that had been brought to his knees by love unrequited. How cruel one's own heart could be and as Shepard looked at him she also saw herself. What if her love for the asari grew to his kind of depth? Would this be her before Liara? Begging? Hurting? Pleading? That thought scared her and also made her soften to his presence. She knew that she would need to hurt him so that he could let her go. She would need to be cruel to be kind.

"I would be a liar if I said that your attraction was one-sided," Shepard said, knowing that Liara was hearing their words. It didn't matter. Kaidan deserved nothing but honesty for his moment of emotional bravery. "But I also have to say that your love is not shared by me. I told you that I was too damaged for what you wanted. That hasn't changed."

"I love you," Kaidan dropped his head, tears filling his eyes as Shepard moved closer to him.

"And I don't doubt that you believe that," Shepard told him, brushing his hair back. "But you don't know me. You don't know how empty I am or the dark shadows that wander in my soul. I'm a killer. I've done things that no moral human being would have done."

"You are more than that," Kaidan said, touching her cheek. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Beauty?" Shepard pulled his hand from her face. "It's an illusion, Kaidan. I did not earn my beauty from goodness or as a reward for something honorable. I did nothing special to inherit my mother's perfection. So don't let her beauty fool you into thinking that it signifies anything good in me."

"Your beauty goes deeper," Kaidan said, a man drowning.

"Does it?" Shepard asked, bitterly. "I'm burning a hole in you and a part of me doesn't care. If my mother had not had the foresight to drill her values and beliefs into me, what horrible creature would I be today?"

"I know who you are," Kaidan told her.

"Do you want to know who I really am?" Shepard stepped into him, bringing her mouth to his ear, she whispered, "Without her voice inside me, I would have fucked you just to hurt you. I would have whispered what you wanted to hear just to keep you at my feet. That is who I am without my mother's voice. No, Kaidan, you do not know me and you don't want to."

"You're not like that," Kaidan said, reaching out and touching her breast.

"I'm that and worse," Shepard whispered, her eyes growing cold as she looked over at Liara. The asari was reading more of her messages and had her back to them. Shepard was still mad at her but she would not use Kaidan to get back at her.

"Shepard," Kaidan tried to kiss her as he squeezed her breast.

"No," Shepard pulled away, "Kaidan, you have to see me. I am quite selfish, uncaring and abusive when my mother's spirit sleeps."

"No," Kaidan fought pulling Shepard back to him as she stepped away.

"Forgive me," Shepard looked at him and wished that she could change who she was.

"Why can't you see the beautiful soul that I see?" Kaidan said, his jeans not hiding his desire.

Shepard looked at Kaidan's bulge and wished that she had looked more like her father, "Because she doesn't exist. You created her using my face and body as the starting point. That beautiful soul that you desire so much is waiting for you in a different package. She is pregnant with your child and you are too caught up in your illusion of me to see it. Go home and learn to love Grace. She is ten times the woman that I will ever be and will make you so much happier than I ever could. Go home, Kaidan."


	106. The Shadow & The One

He didn't know why he was there. He didn't know where there was. He didn't know where the petruel were. The petruel were the batarians assigned to deliver the flesh goods as directed before and after a sale. They also hunted any slaves that ran or were stolen. Were they going to come after him? He had looked many times at his new master on their journey together and he feared for her. He had never been owned by an asari and if the petruel were after him, they would kill her. Baba knew that.

He also didn't understand why she had taken him in the first place? Why wasn't he on his way to Verush's moon, Bira? That was where the basth, the batarian word for flesh seller, had instructed the petruel to take the cargo. Then there were the others. Where were they? Would they tell their masters that he had been taken by this asari? He wanted to warn her but Baba was afraid.

She had placed a blindfold over his eyes before they entered asari space and it was not removed until he was standing before the three tall shadows. As the blindfold was pulled off him, he looked for the asari but she was nowhere to be seen. All he saw where shadows moving about him. Everything in the room was clear but those three tall shadows. Baba was alone.

Who were these tall shadows looking down at him? Were they there because he had failed his new master? Or was it even worse? Was this death? Had he already died? Were these shadows here to take him to the other side? The fear made him crouch as he put his hands in front of his face. Baba did not want to die.

Baba's confusion had started when the spaceship that was carrying the two dozen slaves landed on Omega. They were there to pick up four passengers before heading on to batarian space. Baba had been in a cage with two female humans as they waited. But the wait grew longer. Then they could hear the raised voices, grunts of disapproval, but did not understand. Something was wrong.

Tela Vasir had arrived with Bray and six more of Aria's guards. The petruel had argued that their cargo could not be impounded based on the agreement that they had with Aria. They paid good money to travel freely through her ports. Tela moved past them as they continued to argue with Bray. According to the manifest there were six human males. One was from Mindoir. Was he the one?

The batarian slave trade required papers on all their merchandise. Where and how the slaves were captured, bought or birthed into the flesh market had to be noted. Mindoir slaves from the '70 raid had become the most sought-after in the slave trade. This was because of the notoriety of the Alliance Naval Operations Chief Elizabeth Shepard and her actions on Elysium during the blitz. She had stood against the batarians twice and they had not forgotten. The females from Mindoir were worth double the males and could be treated harshly as they found themselves paying for Shepard's sins.

Tela Vasir looked at the manifest and saw the name Baba and knew that this was the slave that she was looking for. She had researched this Ricky Parks and had access to the batarian slave trade blue papers. This is what they called the history on the slaves. She had followed his history and hoped that all of her research had paid off. _He has to be the one_, Tela Vasir said as she began to ask the human males their names.

Baba saw the asari talking to the other human males and it scared him. Had he done something wrong? When the asari bent down at his cage and asked his name he had started to panic. He had been afraid but he had also learned to do as ordered so he said that he was Baba of Erszbat.

"Baba?" Tela smiled, as she called him over with her index finger, "Are you the one I am looking for?"

Baba was confused at her words. No one was looking for him. No one. He was not Shepard's mission. But she was safe. She was alive. She was not a slave.

As he got closer to her, she told him to relax, to breathe slowly, to allow her voice to cover his pain, that they were connected, that he was one with the galaxy, and then she told him to embrace eternity. He felt her enter him like a hundred ice picks slamming against his eyes. He wanted to cry out as she rushed past his years as a slave until she reached his last day of freedom. As he clutched the bars, fighting the pain of the asari's push, the females were screaming as the asari's eyes turned black.

Tela Vasir sliced through his mind and saw him on a rooftop. He was but a boy now and looking at a young girl, badly beaten, on the roof. There was another boy with them and Tela looked over at another female, a woman in uniform, squatting down next to the roof's edge with a rifle. When Tela heard him say the name Shepard she smiled and pulled back. She knew that if she stayed too long it might displease the Matriarchs. He had said her name and that's all she needed. She had not expected to find her answer in his first memory pre-slavery but thanked the Goddess for this lucky break. He was the one.

Tela returned to Bray and said that she had found her house slave that had been stolen from her. The petruel argued that they had papers on him showing that the sale was legal. Tela was ready to murder them and be done with it but that had not been needed. Liselle had arrived with a way for all to be happy.

"My mother would like that creature for her bed," Liselle said pointing at Baba and then smiled at Tela as she moved closer to the petruel. "She is willing to not only trade one for one, but also give you a nice finder's fee."

"A trade?" The leader of the petruel looked at Baba. "It must be another human male."

Liselle gave a sigh and waved out three batarians and a human collared and leashed, "Here he is and here is your bonus."

The petruel looked at the generous amount and the trade and agreed, "But tell Aria that if this should ever happen again, all trades, monies and friendship will end."

"If you feel that strongly," Liselle said, "I suggest you tell her yourself. Even if I'm her daughter, I would not risk delivering a threat to my mother."

"I do not have time," The petruel said, "We are already behind schedule."

"I am sure that is the reason," Liselle laughed as she grabbed Baba and gave him to Tela. "Please see that my mother has him within the hour."

"Of course," Tela said, putting the collar around his neck.

Liselle moved closer to Tela and whispered, "My mother says to tell the Matriarchs that she honors them with a gift to you. But you will still owe her."

Tela took Baba to her space cruiser and carefully strapped him into a seat after removing the collar. She looked at him and told him that everything would be all right. That he would not be hurt again. She said that she had been looking for him. That he was the one. Why was Baba the one? Baba was nothing. Baba was less than the dung of the masters.

Their time traveling to this place had been fairly quiet with the asari occasionally talking to someone over the comm. But he did not know what was being discussed since they spoke in a language that he couldn't understand. Baba had been a good slave, a bright slave, as he learned a handful of batarian dialects and the standard asari language. But this was not standard asari that the two spoke. At least the voices seemed pleased. But why? What did they want from him? From Baba?

After they had landed, Tela took him to a hotel before presenting him to the Matriarchs. She had bathed him and put him in a clean white tunic that went to the floor. She was grateful that the batarians had kept him close shaved and his hair buzzed.

The asari, his new master, had been tender as she washed him and he tried to please her but she told him no. He pounded his head against the wall of the bathtub, wanting to punish himself for upsetting her but she stopped him. She told him that it was okay. She was not mad. As she continued to bathe him and speak softly, he thought of Nabidka Pazness.

He had loved her and she had been so kind to him. She had owned a farm on Erszbat next to a beautiful river and needed another slave to help tend the animals. She saw that he was a former colonist and believed that he could help her. As he stepped out of her carriage, he felt as if he had returned to Mindoir, a place that he could remember but not name. It did not take long for her to bring him to her bed and love him. She had told him stories of her youth. Taught him how to please her and cooked him a type of cake that tasted like sweet cornbread. But then she had died and her son had been cruel. He had known the love that his mother had felt for the qara. He had almost killed Baba after a year of small rations, beatings and being tied outside with no clothes to keep him warm at night.

He would have killed the qara but he had spent almost all of his inheritance and needed money. So he had sold Baba but not before one more beating that took the hearing in Baba's left ear. He would have cut off his balls but that would have made the slave only worth a quarter of his current price. Instead he just kicked him there and laughed as the slave threw up. He had told Baba that the Dite Nabidka Pazness had not cared about him but used him for his meat. That she had called him qara behind his back. It was the batarian word for shit. He had said that the Dite was getting ready to sell him. Baba knew he was lying. The Dite had loved him.

Baba could feel Tela washing his chest, his blindfold still on his face, and she was so tender. But he would not dare to hope that this asari would be as kind as his Nabidka Pazness. He continued to try and not cause her any problems, just as he had on the flight over. He sat quietly and would only eat when she offered, only used the toilet when she asked if he needed to, only slept when she suggested it. He was a good slave.

He was also afraid of her disciplining him just as so many others had in his past. Slaves of the batarian learned quickly or died. A slave learned to make no noise. To do as they were told. To expect no kindness. The masters were all that mattered. The slave was nothing. Worthless. Baba was nothing. Baba was worthless.

Now he cowered before the three tall shadows that stood looking down at him. He heard them talking to each other but their language was their own. There was movement directly in front of him that was coming closer and it scared him. He dropped to his knees, head bowed, his eyes on the ground as he whimpered like a beaten dog. The shadow in the middle spoke in that unknown tongue softly.

"Gastfuri! Gastfuri! Gastfuri!" Baba pleaded in a batarian tongue as he felt that shadow's cloth brush up against.

The shadow breathed a scent like cinnamon on him and lifted his face up, "Gezremsee."

The sound of rain seemed to wash away his fear as he found himself standing in his childhood home. He was back on Mindoir and did not know how. Baba was still there but Ricky was momentarily awake with him as he stepped into the kitchen.

His mother was still in her nurse's uniform as she stood over the stove. She was making his favorite meal, sloppy joes, as his baby sister was sitting in a chair and reading _Charlotte's Web_ out loud. He felt himself choke seeing his loved ones. He had never forgotten them but he had not completely remembered how they looked. How could he have forgotten Fannie's freckles? The sound of his mother's voice? The smell of their home?

"It is okay to cry," The shadow said in his language as she touched his shoulder.

"That's my mother and sister," Ricky told the shadow. "They died without me."

"They are lovely and in the light," The shadow said softly, as she let him watch his family. There was no rush, so she gave him time to love what he had lost. She was also waiting to see if he was the one. _Patience_.

"Who are you?" Ricky asked the shadow as he rubbed his arms.

"Just your guide," The shadow was keeping her image clouded as she had no desire for him to know her or to remember her. It was important that he remain ignorant to the ones that had sought him. "She favors you."

"I use to resent having to babysit her," he confided as he sat down at the kitchen table and his sister crawled up into his lap and handed him the book.

"Read to me, Ricky," Fannie said as his mother put a plate of dinner in front of him.

"Eat up, son," Taryn Parks told him, "Fannie, go sit in your seat and leave your brother alone."

"It's okay, mom," Ricky said, holding his sister tighter. "I don't mind."

"That smells good," His father said, entering the home and putting his jacket, hat and lunchbox down in the corner of the kitchen floor. "Hey son, did you do your homework?"

"Dad?" Ricky began to cry as Fannie crawled off his lap and raced towards their father. Rick, Sr., had died in a mining accident when Ricky was ten and Fannie just a year old.

The shadow continued to watch as Ricky kissed his loved ones in that small human kitchen. _Patience_. The family had their dinner, Ricky beaming as he sat amongst those he had lost so many years past. _Patience_.

As their meal ended, there was a knock at the back kitchen door. A boy's voice was calling Ricky outside, "Hey Ricky, come see the herd!"

She went with him to the backyard where there stood two children in the rain. A boy and a girl.

The girl pointed towards the school of shuima moving up the river Potamoi as she laughed, "My pops would be freakin'!"

"Let's go ride them," Tyler yelled as he raced towards the river.

"Shepard!" Ricky grabbed the young girl, hugged and kissed her.

_Yes, he was the one._

"Stop all the slobbering," Shepard said, pulling away from him as she laughed.

"C'mon you two! Stop making out and rope a horse!" Tyler yelled, stripping to his underwear and diving into the river.

Ricky and Shepard looked at each other and then followed after their friend, laughing.

The shadow walked out on the river and wished that she could go into Shepard's mind but that was not the real Shepard. Just Ricky's memory of her. She looked at the boy and knew that he would have to enlighten her on who this woman had been. There was great hope for her but they needed to understand her.

"Boy," The shadow called out and pulled him to her.

Ricky felt his body being pulled up out of the water and lifted towards the shadow standing above the river. She told him that she was not there to harm him but to start his healing. Her words and the peace that she brought to him, made him believe her. She asked if he would allow her to see his memories of this Shepard and he said no. He wanted to protect her.

The shadow told him that she wanted to protect her as well. Should he let her see his best friend? Her voice was soothing and he needed help protecting Shepard. So he said yes and she gently opened his mind, careful to not hurt him. She viewed all the years that this boy had spent with the child that would grow up to become the first human SpecTRe. From the moment that they met to that final day, she watched. There were moments that she skimmed over and moments that she dissected.

She focused on Shepard's responses to any discussion of the asari and then there were moments from her anger to her generosity to her spiritual beliefs to her protectiveness to her fears to the brutality experienced by the hand of the batarians. This process took just a snip of time and as she neared the end, she stood over the unconscious girl on the floor of the grocery store and looked at her. Ricky watched as the shadow bent down and touched his friend, "They hurt her."

The shadow could see the suffering that had happened in that room; the eyes of a dead old man looking at the young girl who had been split open. The shadow looked at Shepard and then at the batarian who had died next to her, Manok Had'dah. She knew him. He was Edan Had'dah's son, the youngest of two. She had heard that he had died on Mindoir. Now she knew why as she looked up at the human female with the gun. She then touched the face of the dead batarian. Pieces of him were torn out and she smiled. This human had fought back even when it seemed hopeless.

As she followed the slave's memories to his being captured she told him that he would be fine. She told him that this Shepard was fine. She also told him that he would forget all that he had experienced of this touch of mind between them. Instead, she replaced the memories of her intrusion with a feeling of peace. As the shadow released him, he felt a hand cover his eyes as she whispered how lovely sleep would be. And then he slept.

Tela Vasir had waited in the vestibule until she was called in to meet the Matriarchs. There was an elious painting on one wall and a large mirror on the other. A round table made of wood from Lusia was in the center with a gold and diamond statue of the Justicar Cerelia. There were matching benches also made of Lusia wood on opposite sides of the vestibule and a chandelier that looked like water over the table. As a chime sounded, the servant who had waited with her escorted her into the main living area.

"May your home be a place of peace, grace and prosperity," Tela Vasir said as she stood before the Matriarch Livia.

"You have done well," The Matriarch said, moving away from the man lying on the floor unconscious. "His mind is of a boy named Ricky Parks. Was that the name that she gave?"

Tela Vasir nodded, "That was the name that she gave for her lost friend, the one that she had started to look for."

The Matriarch walked behind Tela Vasir, instructing her servants to remove the doors from the far wall so that the room was opened up to the main terrace that had the hanging pool and grand fountain. Matriarchs Sophronia and Aleta took their seats on the couch of cushions motioning Tela to move closer.

"What would you have of us?" Matriarch Sophronia asked as the servants brought in a table to place before the couch.

"Just your pleasure of receiving the gift," Tela said, bowing as two servants picked up the human and carried him away. Even if she was a SpecTRe, Tela Vasir was still nervous in a room of Matriarchs. They had more power than the others species could even guess and Tela believed that there were powers they had that were even hidden from asari who were not yet a Matriarch. It was just a suspicion of hers and it made her that much more nervous.

"Please," Livia looked out at the skyline of Serrice past the clear pool waters, "You must want something. Do not be shy."

"Nothing for me," Tela said, turning to face the Matriarch. "But there is something I would like for my daughter, if you would be so kind."

Aleta sat forward as trays of their midday meal began to arrive, "And what is that?"

Tela turned to look at Aleta, "I have tried to get my daughter accepted into the Paneimi but we do not have the name or an appropriate sponsor. I have the funds for the education and boarding so I would not require that. Just a name."

"The Paneimi?" Livia turned around and looked at Tela Vasir. "Is that all?"

Tela turned to look at Livia, "If that …"

"Consider it done," Aleta interrupted her, making Tela turn again. "I will have her name accepted and she can begin attending this day if you wish. Just forward the information to my office."

Tela bowed towards all three Matriarchs, speechless. The Paneimi was the prestigious boarding school in Serrice and the only way to be accepted there was to be sponsored by one of the members of the Circle or Chamber. This would give her daughter an introduction to the world of the daughters of the elite.

"Now, we must ask you to leave," Livia said, passing by her as she went to her seat. "We have much to discuss."

"Thank you," Tela bowed to all three Matriarchs again before being escorted back to the vestibule and out of the T'Soni villa located in the exclusive area of Politia.

As the servants continued to place the meal and sitruuna on the table, the three Matriarchs joined minds and Livia shared what she had seen in the human's mind. It took just minutes to share a childhood and as they moved apart, they were silent. Each processing what they had seen.

As they slowly began to prepare their plates, Sophronia sighed, "Manok Had'dah was always without honor."

"Did you see her?" Aleta shook her head. "I am always grateful that others cannot do what we can. The small amount of pain at their fingertips is enough."

"She is a huntress," Livia said, eating a piece of sokolatí. "She did not stop fighting."

"The face," Aleta said, pushing her plate away.

"She is not charmed by us," Sophronia said, remembering all her reactions and comments on the asari with Ricky.

"No," Livia said, washing her hands in a bowl, "Does she sense what is behind our beauty?"

"She does not even see our beauty," Sophronia said, pouring herself a glass of thopevo.

Aleta leaned forward, "But we must not forget that she was young then and inexperienced with our kind. She has since been on the Citadel and even Wetrot."

"Forget Wetrot that would work against all of us" Sophronia took a deep breath, "Do you think that she has changed?"

"Liara seems to have hope in her," Livia reminded them of the young asari's words in the Chamber. "I have never known her to see things foolishly. She is like her mother and Aika."

"How is Liara?" Aleta asked as she removed a cushion and Sophronia poured her a cup of sitruuna.

"She is well," Livia said. "She has developed a fondness for a Messonian named Calandra Aise. Do either of you know her or her family?"

"Calandra Aise?" Aleta asked, adjusting another of her pillows. "No. But Aise sounds familiar. Sophronia?"

"Aise?" Sophronia searched her memory of that name. "Was there not an Aise huntress honored in the war of the rachni?"

"I believe that you are right," Livia said, handing a piece of fruit to Aleta. "And she was a Messonian as well. Her name was Tasse Aise."

"Yes," Sophronia smiled. "Tasse Aise. But the Aise are not of the Circle or connected in any way that I can remember. Pure perioikos. You might want to discourage that if that is the case."

"I would not put too much thought in that," Livia said. "Liara is still too young to want a companion to bond with. Let her have her affairs. Her choice of a daer will not be for centuries and then her decision will be a wise one."

"Speaking of daer choices," Sophronia picked two grapes, "How is Aika? Is she still with the human?"

"Liqui?" Livia took a bite of another sokolatí, "Yes, they are still together."

"Aika is so beautiful," Sophrona said, "I had hoped that she would find pleasure with my daughter. Why did you allow that union? I hear that Aika has become more like them."

"Aika has always had her own mind," Livia said, inwardly smiling at her granddaughter's independence and strength. "She loves this human. So we suffer for a century. And Aika is first and foremost a Thessian."

"Well at least they do not live long," Sophronia said. "After this human is gone, there is still hope that our houses will have a connection."

"How long do you think it will take before he is healed enough to see her?" Aleta asked, trying to change subjects.

"Not until after the second harvest of the season," Livia said, looking out at the city. "His mind is fragile and if we rush his healing, we could lose him. We must move slowly and patiently."

"But this human huntress," Aleta said, drinking her sitruuna. "Do we have that much time?"

Livia nodded, "They do not die that quickly."

"I did not mean that," Aleta said, "I meant with the life that this huntress has, a SpecTRe? Should we risk waiting that long?"

"If we reveal his location," Livia answered, "She will not trust us to heal him. She will want him returned to her people."

"But they won't be able to heal him," Sophronia said, disgust in her voice. "He would stay almost as he is. Why would she want that?"

"She does not trust us," Livia said, taking a sip of her sitruuna. "That is why we must start the healing process first, so that she sees our effects on him."

Sophronia nodded, "We need her to feel indebted to us."

"But she may not come for him when we call," Aleta said, passing the plate of sokolatí.

"Or she may be killed by the SpecTRe Arterius," Sophronia said, leaning back.

Livia bent her head back and breathed deeply, "We cannot think that way. If Benezia left a key in her mind, it would be lost. She cannot die until we have that key."

"You know that Celandine will not approve of Shepard's feelings toward us," Sophronia said, taking a drink of thopevo, "It will anger her. The thought of any species not bowing at her feet offends her."

"That is a little harsh in judgment of Celandine," Aleta said, looking at Sophronia. "Not far off, but still harsh. I do agree that she will use it against the human if pushed."

"Then it is up to us to protect this Shepard," Livia said, looking at the two Matriarchs.


	107. Steampunk Heels

The kitchen had been overrun by the easel, brushes, canvas, knives, oils, cleaning supplies, a teacher and a student. It was coming up on their fourth day of class and the painting was not finished yet. This had worried Elizabeth as she and Melanie would be leaving in two days back to Georgia and Jack. Time was running out.

Shepard had tried to help as she suggested to her grandmother that they just order pizza, "This will give you and Liara more time to work."

"Pizza?" Elizabeth rejected that idea. She was going to see that her Lil'Bit had home cooked meals while she was there. No excuses.

Liara told Elizabeth that the elious would be done in time, even if it meant that they painted non-stop. That was pretty much how it was anyway. Elizabeth and Liara would be in the kitchen as Shepard and her Aunt Melanie played cards or watched old movies. Shepard loved seeing her grandmother all lit up as she spent time on her new asari passion. Elizabeth also seemed to really love Liara and they connected through their mutual love of art. Shepard was glad that they had clicked, but it also made it that much harder to stay mad at the asari. Harder, but not impossible.

Shepard had been hurt and Liara did not seem to even notice. This resulted in a chilly wall between them and since Shepard's angry outburst, that wall did not seem to be thawing. The continued divide was not Liara's doing as she did not want to fight with Shepard. But even though there was trouble between them, from all outer appearances they still seemed friendly. That was good since Liara was spending almost all of her time at the Shepard residence. The only night that she had not spent at Shepard's apartment was the dinner party at Barbara Moreau's home and even then she had attended that dinner after Joker invited her.

At the Shepard residence, Liara would stay until Elizabeth was finished for the night and sometimes that wouldn't be until midnight. Liara would wake up Shepard, who would be asleep on the couch, and ask her to take her home. Liara's pass did not allow her to be on the Arc unattended. An Alliance Officer or the SpecTRe had to be with her at all times in public areas. Shepard would get up and escort her back to the Normandy, docked on DB94. The ride on the tube and the walk to DB94 contained more silence between them than words. Liara would look at Shepard and wished that she knew what the human wanted. Liara had messaged Sibila asking for advice but that had resulted in her cousin suggesting seduction and even trying that turian flywheel position that Liara favored. Liara did not want to bed Shepard but to move inside her. To understand her completely so she would stop angering her.

The third night that Shepard had taken her back to the DB94, Liara wanted to try and make it better. She asked if they could talk but Shepard had said that there was nothing to talk about. As they rode on the tube, Liara sitting and Shepard standing, she felt so removed from Shepard that she felt herself get angry.

How could Shepard treat her that way? She was a T'Soni? The human had no right to treat her as if she was beneath her! She should leave the Commander! See if she can find that conduit on her own. That selfish, short-lived bapac! Liara's bottled feelings made her stomach turn and as she bent slightly over trying to fight the cramp, Shepard saw her.

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked, looking down at her.

"Fine," Liara answered, not wanting to give Shepard any reason to be nice.

"My grandmother is working you like a horse," Shepard said, "Maybe you should take a rest tomorrow. I'll tell her that you had a project Chakwas needed you to finish."

"No," Liara said looking out the window. She did not want to spend a day away from Shepard, even if she was a bapac, and she did not want to disappoint Elizabeth. She liked the older woman and loved the sound of her southern accent. It was almost musical. Liara was also learning to speak Anglish as she communicated with Elizabeth without the assistance of Chakwas or Shepard, using Matriarch Eyto of the Thessia Guildhall's training on mastering languages.

Shepard knew that there was no sense in arguing with Liara and looked out the window in front of her, "Have it your way, T'Soni."

The next stop saw a half dozen Alliance soldiers get on and they were obviously out partying. A few tried chatting up Liara but she ignored them as a Lieutenant stood next to Shepard and told her that they had just left a party and were heading to the Aircraft 1512 to finish their night of revelry.

"Would you like to go with us?" The Lt asked.

Shepard said that she would have to deposit the asari back on the Normandy first but she might meet them there. As the two flirted on the train, Liara wanted to ask Shepard how she should respond. She could sense no real desire from the Commander so was this a test? If so, what was she supposed to do? Liara turned away, deciding to respond as an asari and let Shepard act like a human.

* * *

><p>That fourth day had started early … 0718. Elizabeth was in the kitchen drinking coffee and prepping to start her training on the elious painting, Melanie was sitting in the living room, cup of coffee on the trunk and <em>The Guardian<em> by Beverly Lewis in her hand. Shepard had taken a shower, slipped on a pair of tight black jeans, black heels and a red lace shirt. Dr. Chakwas and Liara arrived just as Shepard finished getting ready and as they entered the apartment, Shepard grabbed her leather jacket and gym bag.

"See you later grandma," Shepard stepped into the kitchen and kissed the old woman on the cheek.

"Where are you going?" Elizabeth asked as Liara entered the kitchen and looked at Shepard's curves.

"I'm going to the Athletica Gym and then meeting a friend for lunch," Shepard said, looking at Liara.

"Do you mind walking me to the tube first?" Chakwas asked, holding a datapad in one hand and her doctor's bag and purse in the other. "I'd like to discuss the requisition that I submitted to you this morning. I need to make revisions already."

"Sure," Shepard said, brushing past Liara as she exited the kitchen. "Don't drive your teacher too hard, grandma."

"You are going to the gym dressed like that?" Melanie asked, putting down her book as she stood up.

"I'm not working out in these," Shepard said as she raised her gym bag, "I'm changing once I get there."

"So why are you dressed like that?" Melanie asked, looking at her niece's jeans and revealing lace shirt.

"I'm meeting a friend for lunch afterwards," Shepard answered as her aunt took her by the arm and led her back to the bedroom.

"What is going on?" Melanie asked, looking up at her niece.

"Nothing," Shepard said, kissing her aunt on the forehead.

"Something," Melanie grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the bathroom, shutting the door. "Why are you trying to hurt Liara?"

"What?" Shepard looked at her aunt caught off guard by her question.

"Dressing like that and leaving without her," Melanie said. "Who is this friend that you are meeting? Why are you trying to make her jealous?"

Shepard laughed as she hugged her aunt, "Aunt Mel, if you saw how Liara dresses for asari parties you would realize that I'm dressed like a nun. Besides, she could care less what I wear or where I go. She is not like us."

"It doesn't matter," Melanie said, grabbing Shepard by the shoulders and looking deep in her eyes. "Your momma would tell you that how you act is not determined by others or their morals, but by you and yours. You know that you are dressed provocatively and trying to cause someone else pain. That is beneath you."

"Aunt," Shepard wanted to argue but she saw that cursed Shepard look and hung her head.

"I'm not telling you to change your clothes or calling you a floozy," Melanie said, raising Shepard's head, "But whatever is going on between you and Liara, who is really sweet by the way, you must fix it."

"There is nothing to fix," Shepard said. "Besides, I thought you were opposed to this."

"I was," Melanie said. "But after these few days together, both momma and I have agreed that she is nice and not like we had expected. I've never seen momma take to someone as quick, except for Hannah."

"She does like her," Shepard smiled, wiping her eyes.

"Eli," Melanie smiled at her, "I'm sure that there are differences between you two. But that does not give you license to do things against your own nature. To do things that to us humans would be hurtful. Hannah and my brother raised you better than that and I'm sure that Liara knows what you are trying to do, even if it doesn't bother her. It's unbecoming and unladylike."

"Okay, aunt," Shepard smiled, "Consider me properly scolded and I'll keep your counsel close to my heart."

"That's not my counsel," Melanie said, opening the bathroom door. "That was your mother's."

"You did sound like her," Shepard laughed, as her aunt stopped her from leaving the bathroom.

"I did, didn't I?" Melanie smiled and looking smug.

"Now don't get too full of yourself," Shepard laughed and Melanie gave her a little punch.

"Liara, can you please come to the bathroom?" Melanie turned to look at Shepard. "There were so many times that I wanted to treat Toni as meanly as she did me. But it was Hannah that told me our sleep isn't robbed by others' ugliness but our own. Always do what's right, Eli, even if others don't. So Liara is different. You aren't. Deal with this."

"Melanie?" Liara entered the bedroom and looked at the two women standing in the bathroom door way.

"Miss Elizabeth Shepard needs to talk to you," Melanie smiled, moving to the side and mouthing to Shepard, _be honest._

Liara entered the bathroom and as Shepard shut the door, she looked at the lace shirt that was just as snug as the jeans, "I think that your friend will find you pleasing to look at."

Shepard looked at Liara, frustrated, "And that doesn't bother you one bit."

Liara looked embarrassed, "I have said the wrong thing again. I am sorry, Shepard. I do not know what you want. Please help me."

"If you were human that would have been the wrong reaction," Shepard sighed. "But for an asari I'm thinking that you have said nothing wrong."

"But I have hurt you," Liara said, putting her hand on Shepard's cheek.

"Somehow you've brought out a needy woman in me," Shepard said, pulling away from Liara and running her fingers through her hair.

"And what is that needy woman looking for?" Liara asked, wishing that she could reach inside Shepard and know her secrets. To understand what she desired from a lover. But then she knew that if it were not something true to her, it would be false if she tried to meet that need. Is that what Shepard wanted? A false lover?

Shepard leaned back against the door, "You are always trying to understand me, aren't you?"

Liara walked to Shepard and place her hands on the human's hips, "I want to please you."

"Mmmm," Shepard put her hands on Liara's and then brushed her fingers up the asari's arms and back down, "You do please me this way. But we can't live our lives in bed. No problems would get solved, no bills would get paid and who would stop Saren?"

Liara could feel Shepard's desire and she ran her hand up to Shepard's left breast, cupping it and bending down to kiss her, "_Come to me_."

"No," Shepard stepped away from her, not giving in to the asari's touch or foreign tongue. "That doesn't solve our problems, Liara. Maybe it's time that we really talk."

Liara was silent. She did not want to do or say anything wrong or upsetting to Shepard so she held her tongue. Waiting on Shepard to set the tone. She, after all, had not found displeasure in Shepard. Well, if you didn't count the not letting her see the beacon's message. But she had not given up on that subject yet. Liara continued in silence. No issues on her end to discuss.

Liara's silence and Shepard's need for her to reach out was clashing. Every second that Liara was silent told Shepard that Liara did not care and it was making her fight against hot tears threatening to fall, "Why don't you go back to the kitchen?"

Liara looked at the door but knew that Shepard wanted her to stay, hoped that she did. Risking another wrong move, Liara turned Shepard around and whispered, "Shepard, I told you that we asari do not put demands, claims or restrictions on our lover's physical pleasures. We do not do this because we do not find it to be truthful, respectful or a sign that we share a true connection. That type of connection is expressed in another way. If you touch another it is not because you are reaching out against me. It has nothing to do with me. But I think that this way hurts you."

"It makes me feel that you don't care," Shepard said, struggling with her own emotions. "I don't want you to be okay with me touching others. And I don't want you touching others. And I know that I'm asking you to be more like me and that isn't right or going to happen, is it? So where does that leave us? How many more things are we going to find to be hurdles? How much pain are we going to experience because of our differences?"

"It would be easier if you were asari," Liara said, unable to stop looking at Shepard's curves.

"Or if you were a human," Shepard said, seeing Liara looking at her body. "But I'm sure that you would think that would be a step down for you, even though you are acting like a man right now."

Liara, confused, looked at Shepard's face, "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," Shepard smirked. "I don't want to lose you. But I want …"

"What do you want?" Liara asked, facing Shepard.

Shepard touched her hand, "I want to use you for my own pleasures and it not hurt when you act like an asari. I want to not care if you are here or on some dig. I want to feel nothing when I see you."

Liara watched Shepard lean against the sink, her head down and waited.

Shepard looked up at Liara in the mirror,"That's what I want in order not to hurt. But the truth is that I'm falling for you and the awful truth is that if I keep seeing you I'm going to fall passionately in love with you. I'm going to know what it is like to be desperate for someone and that terrifies me because I know that you are going to break my heart. Aren't you, Liara?"

"_If you would entwine yourself within me_," Liara said in her tongue as she pulled Shepard to her, "_I would keep you safe. If you would place your tongue beneath my hips, I would seal your name within my body_. _I have stirred inside you and found pleasures unspeakable. I have been pleased just by watching you sleep. I am as weak with you as you are with me._"

"Did you just break up with me?" Shepard asked, half-joking and feeling vulnerable.

"On the contrary," Liara whispered in Shepard's ear, releasing the scent of the asari as she began to slowly run her tongue down into the hollow of Shepard's throat.

"This isn't talking," Shepard protested even as her legs opened and let Liara press her leg in between them, making her feel that ache within her sex.

"_Open to me_," Liara almost demanded in her tongue, pressing harder against Shepard. The woman was no longer fighting her touches and it made Liara want to show her what the touch of the asari really was.

"I need to know how you feel," Shepard whispered, as Liara took control of her body.

"_Let me please you_," Liara said, knowing that there was only one way that she could reveal her true desires without need of words and the complete absence of lies; a way that could calm both their fears. But Liara knew she wasn't ready for that step, not yet. That did not stop her from wanting to, the way that Shepard was touching her, breathing hard against her. The touch of the woman made it hard to not reach out and bring her into the meld.

"Talk to me," Shepard whispered, as Liara bit her bottom lip and Shepard ran her hands down Liara's backside. The feeling of Shepard's hands on her ass, her legs squeezing her, it excited Liara and she pressed harder against Shepard. And as Liara began to kiss Shepard deeper and harder, she felt her own natural drive to reach out and wrap her hunger around the weakness of the human. She began to kiss with that hunger and it made Shepard pull her mouth away from Liara's, gasping and shaking, "I can't breathe."

Those words from Shepard excited Liara as her new hunger was reaching out in desperation, pushing down into the woman's sex and it made Shepard cry out. Liara felt the human's raw need exposed, her new hunger ravenous and realized that she was moving into Shepard. She was starting to meld as the room saw sparks of blue. Shepard had felt lost in a dream as the asari made her body start to burn with a passion that she had never felt before. But that heat was gone as quickly as it started and it left her weak. Liara had stepped away from her and Shepard caught herself on the sink counter. Taking deep breathes and turning around to see her cheeks flushed in the mirror; Shepard felt her face and it was hot, and her sex was hurting.

"What was that?" Shepard asked as she splashed water on her face.

"I am sorry," Liara was breathing deeply and trying to not touch Shepard.

"Was that the start of your Vulcan sex?" Shepard asked, looking up at Liara's reflection.

"Did I hurt you?" Liara asked, her nerves on fire and her hunger wanting Shepard.

"Hurt me?" Shepard turned back around and sat against the counter. _I think I'm going to need the coldest shower I've ever had in my life._

"I should get back," Liara said, trying to not look at Shepard.

"Wait," Shepard tried to grab Liara but she had moved away from her. "We haven't settled anything, have we?"

"Are you still mad at me?" Liara asked, looking at the door.

"No," Shepard answered, still trying to catch her breath. "Not mad."

"Then that is enough for now," Liara said, opening the bathroom door and leaving.

* * *

><p>The Heels Lounge was designed around the post-industrial and steampunk vibe, with a copper and leather curved bar, black and red velvet walls and as a centerpiece, an absinthe still. The all female staff wore Neo-Victorian, Edwardian and Dieselpunk couture and the music was steam tech or steampunk metal. The lounge was filled with women only and included an Admiral of the Alliance as one of its regulars. There was also an area in the back that had a walk in cigar humidor and a smoking lounge.<p>

The entry to the lounge was a revolving door, one of the few on the Arc, and as Shepard exited from it and into the lounge, she moved to the side as four women fell out after her. They had already started partying, it seemed. Moving deeper into the bar, Shepard could see that the back was more crowded than at the front or at the actual bar itself and she was glad. She had hoped that her lunch date was already there but she wasn't holding her breath.

Viveca White smiled as she saw the Commander enter the bar and wished that the Alliance Officer had been open to other women. She would have definitely asked her out. But she wasn't, such is life, and so she told herself that Lolly Breville was enough trouble for her. Too much trouble, some would say. As Shepard sat down, Viveca reached down and picked up and unopened bottle of Jameson and grabbed a tumbler, "Good to see you, Shepard."

"Good to see you, Viv," Shepard smiled as the bartender poured her a drink and Shepard looked at the old Edison clips playing over and over behind the bar. Shepard turned around to look past the still and out on to the dance floor where women danced in and around the life size holo of the all female steam tech band Copper Goggles playing their latest hit, _The Lost Jeunet_.

"Michelle called and said that she is running late," Viveca said, capping the bottle but leaving it near Shepard. "Do you want me to order the Tesla fries for you?"

"Add some Shanghia wings as well," Shepard said, feeling hungry after her morning long workout. "How is Lolly?"

Viveca made a face, "Driving me batty as usual, but I love the bitch!"

Shepard checked her reflection in one of the mirrors behind the bar as a patron walked up next to her and smiled, "Hi! I'm Kyla."

"Hi, Kyla," Shepard said, turning on her barstool to face her.

"Can I buy you a drink?" Kyla asked, trying to appear relaxed.

"Why don't I buy you a drink while I wait for my girlfriend," Shepard smiled, waving Viveca over.

"So you are not single?" Kyla asked, sounding a little down.

"I'm not into women," Shepard smiled, "But I'm always on the lookout for new friends. So what do you want to drink?"

Shepard listened as Kyla ordered and for the next fifteen minutes the two chatted about Kyla's last four failed relationships. Shepard was glad to see Michelle in the mirror sneaking up on her and instead of spoiling the hug she let Michelle grab her, "Hey girlfriend!"

Shepard laughed and swung around in her seat, hugging her friend tight, "I have missed you, woman!"

"Let me look at you," Michelle said, pulling back. "Hmm. Butch jacket and femme top? Wear that just for me?"

"Which one?" Shepard laughed as Michelle took a seat and ordered a southside fizz. "Kyla, this is my friend Michelle."

"You trying to hit on my woman?" Michelle asked, acting like a jealous lover.

"No," Kyla said, "I better get back to my friends."

"She's just kidding," Shepard said, as Kyla disappeared into the crowd. "That was not nice, Michelle."

"I know," Michelle said, kissing Shepard's hand. "So how have you been? Chatter has it that you blew up a plant."

"Chatter as in Helen Lowe communications?" Shepard smiled, taking a drink.

"We slept together last night," Michelle winked. "Ran out of pillow talk, so we did the Shepard gossip and it got me so excited that I had to do her again. Thanks, Shepard."

"What happened to your girlfriend?" Shepard asked, playing with Michelle's straw.

"Dumped me," Michelle shrugged. "It's hard keeping a girl when you are always patrolling space, you know. She hooked up with a janitor. Can you believe that? I was dumped for a janitor!"

"Well, at least she left you for someone else in uniform," Shepard teased, pushing against her with her shoulder. "Here is to the people that have dumped us!"

"Fuck 'em!" Michelle said, clinking glasses with Shepard and downing her fizz. "Another one Viv! Just keep them coming!"

"It's gonna be one of those lunches," Shepard shook her head, downed her drink and poured herself another.

"So I hear that your grandmother and the quiet aunt are here," Michelle said.

"Aunt Mel," Shepard nodded. "They leave in two days."

"I leave in five," Michelle grinned. "I feel a slumber party coming on."

"So do I," Shepard grinned, feeling her cheeks flush. "But you aren't invited."

"What?" Michelle spun towards her in her seat.

"Okay, I'll ask if you can have the couch," Shepard said, taking a drink.

"You'll ask?" Michelle raised a brow. "Did you just say that you will ask? I have never known you to say that about any guy you are dating. Who is this miracle man and how big is he to have you asking him anything?"

Shepard laughed, grabbing a wing as Viveca dropped the fries and wings in front of them.

"I'm waiting," Michelle said, picking up a fry. "Is he in the Alliance?"

"Nope," Shepard answered, using Liara's new word.

"Does he live on the Arc?" Michelle asked, wanting to choke it out of her.

"Nope," Shepard answered, licking her fingers.

"Shepard!" Michelle grabbed her friend and shook her.

"Okay, okay!" Shepard laughed, taking a drink. "I met this person about six months ago and it started out a little rough. But by July, I couldn't say no and then I don't know. And now, here I am."

Michelle put her drink down, "I have no idea what the hell any of that meant."

"I know," Shepard laughed. "It's because I'm really in trouble with this one."

"Don't tell me that you are in love," Michelle said, covering her eyes. "Please, don't tell me that some guy has got you wrapped around his finger. That is so tragic!"

Shepard laughed and raised Michelle's shirt on her left side and pointed at the asari tattooed on her shoulder, "I'm wrapped."

"What?" Michelle looked at the asari and at Shepard, "I get it, you are pulling my leg."

Shepard shook her head and picked up another wing, "Afraid not."

Michelle sat and watched Shepard eat her wing as she tried to take in what she had just been told. She knew that her friend had hated the asari and there was no way that she could, that she would, that she, "Holy shit! You're serious!"

"Tragically," Shepard said, closing Michelle's mouth closed. "Shocking. I know."

"But how?" Michelle finally asked. "You hate them. I mean, seriously. The thought of one just shaking your hand could make you …"

"I know," Shepard cut her off.

"So when did you start to find them sexy?" Michelle asked, completely thrown by this turn of event.

Shepard shook her head, "I don't find them sexy. Just her."

"Wow!" Michelle looked at Shepard in the mirror, her glass to her lips.

"I know," Shepard looked back at Michelle in the mirror and bit down on a fry.

"You know if this gets serious you will have to meet her family," Michelle said. "You will have to touch other asari. You may even have to go to planet blue. My god, the screams that you will be suppressing!"

"I thought you were my friend," Shepard said, punching her in the arm.

"Keeping it real," Michelle laughed. "I can see you buying a year's supply of latex gloves before you go and wearing long sleeve turtlenecks everywhere. You will look like that Kilroy was here guy. You know, your turtleneck all the way up to ..."

Shepard looked at her friend, "You really think this is funny?"

"Sooo," Michelle turned in her seat and leaned into Shepard, "Have you had sex with her? This one special snowflake?"

Shepard could not stop the Cheshire grin from spreading on her face.

"If that's not an 'I got laid by an asari' smile," Michelle laughed, "Then I don't know what one is! What do you think of her kisses? I mean the ones that make you feel it down there."

Shepard took a deep breath, "I had no idea that she could do that until she did."

"They have magic hands as well," Michelle said, picking up her drink. "But they always get bored and move on. At least the ones I've dated. If you could call them dates."

"She's not like that," Shepard said, twirling a stir straw. "She is so smart and shy. But then she is not. The shy part, I mean. Half the time she doesn't get my jokes, or even realize I'm joking, which is even funnier. And I like it when she just looks at me. Isn't that funny? I like an asari looking at me. Hmm."

Michelle looked at her friend and could see that she was different. Then it hit Michelle, her best friend had fallen in love with this asari. This could go really bad. "Shepard," Michelle looked at her drink. "How old is she?"

Shepard looked over at her friend, "She's 106. Why?"

"Not good," Michelle answered, finishing her drink.

"What's not good?" Shepard asked, turning to her friend.

"She's too young," Michelle answered, her face pained. "Asari at that age are just experimenting in life. They are college kids gone wild and don't settle down until they are a few centuries old. Now, I'm not saying don't enjoy being with you. Just be careful. She is really young and you could get your heart broken."

Shepard nodded, "I know. But even if she was five centuries old, I'd still get my heart broken. They are so …"

"Different?" Michelle smiled. "Yeah, they are. They've left a lot of broken hearts in the galaxy. But damn can they kiss and hit all the right spots."

"It's more than sex," Shepard said, looking at the amber liquid in her glass.

"You are in love," Michelle said, taking her hand. "Do I get to meet this asari? What is her name?"

"Liara," Shepard smiled. "She's at my place now."

"With your family?" Michelle looked shocked again.

"Yes," Shepard answered, closing Michelle's mouth yet again, "She is teaching my grandmother to paint elious style, something."

"Can I meet her?" Michelle asked, sitting closer to Shepard.

"I'll have you and Rose over for dinner," Shepard pushed Michelle back. "But only after my family is gone."

"Fair enough," Michelle said. "Then we three can have a slumber party."

Shepard cocked a brow at Michelle and shook her head, "Not the kind you are talking about."

"The asari won't mind," Michelle said, "Hell, she might even suggest it."

Shepard looked at the dance area, "She is going to break my heart, isn't she?"

"Don't listen to me," Michelle stood up and held out her hand, "There is no one that would let you go if they got your heart in the deal."

Shepard followed her friend to the dance floor and as Voltaire's Web performed _The Carnival_ they began to slow dance together.

"I'm making a mistake, aren't I?" Shepard said to her, moving through the holo of the lead singer of Voltaire's Web.

"Are you crazy?" Michelle pulled back and looked at Shepard. "Honey, I remember how those asari love you. Hell, your legs alone got them salivating. If this Liara has got her hooks into you, she is not going to let you go. Trust me."

Shepard hoped that Michelle was right and after the dance was over Shepard looked at her friend, "You are going to call Rose and spill the beans aren't you?"

"What?" Michelle acted hurt. "How could you even think that? I would never … yeah. I'm going to race over to her place once we leave here. Sorry. But this is just too juicy and I have to tell her that I was right."

"You said that I was going to be with an asari?" Shepard asked, taking her seat again.

"No," Michelle sat down. "That you were a top."

"Not this again," Shepard shook her head as Michelle laughed.


	108. Japanese Woman

Kanda Yabu Soba was originally built in 1880, a free-standing wooden villa with the feel of a traditional tea house that had its own tranquil garden courtyard. After a fire destroyed it in 2013, the historical Tokyo establishment was rebuilt just as it had been before. Nearing the end of 2183, the patrons were still greeted with "_Irasshaimase!" _as kimono-clad waitresses moved about the restaurant with itsshoji screens, tatami and woodblock prints. Broder, sitting seiza-style, looked down at his ten-zaru soba and cursed under his breath. The chilled buckwheat noodles had been baptized by his own blood, evidence that his evening had not gone as planned.

Broder's contact had arranged to meet him at the club Manekin in Roppongi where the drug nemuri was the only thing sold. He had wanted to meet somewhere else but his contact was adamant and so here he was, despite his disgust of nemuri users. Broder took off his coat as he moved past the line of people that were waiting to pay for their pill. Once they had paid, the cashier would spray a blue type of fluorescent tag on their forehead and then they would move through to the dance floor to find a spot to stand. A server dressed as a nurse and wearing latex gloves would move about the dance floor and place a nemuri pill on the tongue of those with these blue tags. They would then spray a fluorescent red on the forehead and hair to show that they had been served, careful that no patron received a double dose. The customer would then have just a few minutes before they were on the nemuri cloud, where for the next three hours they would stand in one place, unresponsive and uncaring.

Broder, now standing upstairs, looked out over the dance floor as lights danced around the bodies. There was a continuous bass sound that pumped out to the spinning of Tokyo synthpop, as well as an occasional cry of "Tengoku!" by the female DJ named Tsume. Broder could not understand why the young chose this over dancing, screwing or drinking as he looked at the packed dance floor where no one moved. They just stood there, frozen in time. Instead of celebrating their youth, they had chosen a trip that left them motionless, glazed and removed from their own bodies. The more he saw of big city life the more he was grateful that he had grown up a colonist kid. This type of escapism was light years removed from what he and his childhood friends had considered fun. The memory of those boys dead, their lives cut short along with his own baby brother made him hate those on the floor below even more.

"What a fuckin' waste," Broder said and then turned to look at the booths against the wall. He saw his contact sitting alone in the farthest booth and as he moved closer, he knew that something was wrong. The body's positioning was wrong. "Botan?" Broder sat down next to him and the head dropped. Botan was dead. Broder looked around the mezzanine and then saw a red dot fall on his own chest.

"Aww, shuima!" Broder ducked below the table, the bullet missing its intended spot, but it still hit him. He felt a pinch in his left shoulder and cursed at his own failure to move quickly enough to avoid the hit altogether. He pulled out his weapon as he fell to the floor and began to crawl towards the stairs as two more shots hit the booth behind him.

_Get up_, he ordered his body and as his legs did their job, he started to race towards the stairs. A young boy with smeared red fluorescent paint and a finished trip moved past him, resulting in his brains splattering onto a booth as he fell into Broder, who bit down on his own lip. _Move legs!_ Racing down the steps, Broder then crouched as he zig-zagged through the dance floor, wishing the dry ice fog was higher. A girl with a blue tag bumped into him and as she called him names, also took a bullet meant for him. He cursed as bullets were hitting people and objects around him, yet no one seemed to notice. Not yet, anyway. Hell, the patrons were either on a cloud or heading to that cloud while the servers were focused on their jobs. It also didn't help that the handful of bodies were crumpled on the ground semi-hidden below the dry ice fog. "Tengoku!"

Making it to the edge of the dance floor and near the back exit, he looked back at the motionless bodies as lights moved around him and the glazed ones. Blue, Green, Red. Then he saw them. Two gaijin in black suits were moving after him. He saw them waving at each other and then as one headed for the main exit, the other headed for him. _That mistake will cost you_, he thought as the two split up_. _

Broder slammed open the back alley door, stepped to the side and waited. It took just a few seconds of his time before the male stepped through the door and he unloaded three rounds into the chest of his pursuer. As the male fell to the ground, he walked up to him and shot him one more time in the head. _One down, one to go_, Broder spit as he checked for any form of ID on the body. Finding nothing of use, he cursed again before moving carefully through the streets of Tokyo. He ducked in and out of the street's pedestrian traffic, grateful that neither man that had pursued him had been a biotic or a great shot.

_They were good enough_, he told himself as he looked at the blood in the noodles. He had slipped into the restaurant and hoped that he had lost the last one, and that there had only been two. But he wouldn't bet on that. He had learned that those kind of lucky breaks rarely happened to him. His mind envisioned a dozen men out looking for him at that very moment. If they stepped into this restaurant they would spot his tall, gaijin ass right away. No, he didn't believe himself that lucky.

"You lucky," the waitress said in broken Anglish, placing an item in his hand. Broder looked at the Chinese fortune cookie she had given him, blinking in disbelief. Yes, he had been shot but he remembered where he was. Japan. He broke the cookie open and pulled out the piece of paper; _gaijin__ seek a purrfect place to find healing_.

Broder looked up and around the room, his eyes stopping on what appeared to be some kind of holo of a Russian Blue cat moving towards the kitchen. The waitress returned, carrying his fedora hat, trench coat and shoes. She bowed and then led him to the kitchen where she handed him his personal items and bowed again, "Gochisosama deshita." He asked her who had given her the Chinese fortune cookie for him but she just pointed to the back entrance, "Iku!"

Broder stepped outside and saw the holo cat slink around a building. "This is crazy," Broder quickly put on his shoes and looked again at the paper. He needed healing and a safe place. He shook his head and hoped that he was not walking into a trap as he moved in the direction of the cat, keeping an eye out for the other gaijin. He would at times lose the cat only to have it reappear on a fence, around a pole or moving through a crowd. He almost stopped following it a few times, feeling weak from his wound, but he pushed on. The cat finally brought him to Waterras Tower and as it moved into the lobby it stopped in front of a Japanese male and began to rub up against his leg.

"Bronislaw Kowalski?" The man asked as the cat disappeared.

Broder nodded, holding his wounded shoulder and wondering who this man was.

"Good," The man bowed slightly as he welcomed him into the secure lobby. "My name is Keiji Okuda, come with me."

* * *

><p>He had lost the target and was now standing at the entrance of the back alley where his partner was lying dead and surrounded by Tokyo Police. The Shadow Broker was not going to be happy with this failed attempt at stopping Galileo Industries from interfering with the shyno contract. He would need to get back to the hotel room and message his contact of the current situation. He would also need to reassure them that he would succeed before the target had a chance at contacting the shyno.<p>

Entering his Shinjuku Prince Hotel room he threw his jacket on one of the single beds and grabbed a Sapporo out of the fridge. "I'll kill that bastard next time," he said to himself as he pulled out his weapon. He placed it on the desk next to his netbook and went into the bathroom, taking another drink of his beer. As he relieved himself in the toilet he began to plan his next course of action.

He would go to the target's hotel and wait. He knew that this Mr. Bronislaw Kowalski had been hit and would need some place to get fixed up and then heal. There was nowhere else he could go since Tokyo held no other known associates outside of the dead man at the club for this Kowalski. This was not Fukushima or Tashirojima, places that the target had lived previously. No, Tokyo without Botan was a friendless and cold place for Kowalski. This thought made him smile as he zipped up his trousers. "You will be dead soon, fucking prick," he said as he finished his beer and returned to the desk where a red rose, instead of his weapon and netbook, sat waiting for him. "Shit!" He looked around the room and raced out into the empty hallway. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

* * *

><p>The apartment was an open floor plan with clear glass dividers to create private nooks within each section. As you entered, the small kitchenette was to your left, along with a small dining table and four chairs. Part of the kitchen area had been sacrificed for a hidden room that contained the owner's private mini office. In that small space she had a view to the galaxy using an illegal salarian designed master program. The living area was straight ahead of the entryway door while the bedroom and bathroom were to the right. The bedroom was open to the rest of the room, while the oversized tub was divided off by the clear dividers. The only privacy in this apartment, outside of the office, was the toilet which was hidden away in a small water closet.<p>

The overall design of the apartment was Japanese with a basic color palette of black and cream. Each piece in the apartment was focused on simple elegance and luxury. There were exposed timber planks in the ceiling, floor to ceiling windows, a large above ground stone bath tub, hi-tech lighting and entertainment systems, silk bedding, king-sized Japanese-style bed and above it an erotic Japanese Kunisada woodcut from the ansei period 1854-59.

It was here that Broder woke to a Tokyo synthpop version of Pink Martini's _Taya Tan_ playing in a low volume. He turned over and looked out at Tokyo. Daylight. How long had he been out? He wondered as the pain in his left shoulder reminded him that he had been shot the previous night. There was movement and the sound of water to his left. He turned his head to see her standing up in the tub just a few feet from him untying her hair.

She was as he remembered her; petite, small framed and black straight hair that fell below her waist. Broder heard her humming along with the tune as she picked up the towel and stepped out of the tub away from him. He watched as she slowly dried herself and moved about to the music, continuing to hum along with it. He wanted to shift on his left side so he could see her better, but his shoulder stopped him. He groaned softly and she looked over at him as she put on a black floor length silk robe.

Without either speaking, she went to him and helped him get more comfortable. She had always had a light touch and it could make Broder feel like a bull in the China shop at times. As if he could break her. She looked at him with her warm and soulful brown eyes, which almost appeared black. Still neither of them spoke.

She went to the small kitchenette and began to make the gaijin the kind of breakfast he liked; scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes, along with her choice of breakfast. She had always kept track of her gaijin and when she learned that he had flown to Illium on a Galileo Industries private starship, it had concerned her. That company was tied not only to the Alliance but also its special black ops department called Cerberus. There had been talk of Cerberus going rogue but that was not entirely true. Well, not true at all. Did he know who he was really working for? She looked over at him, watching her, and she worried about him. She had run through the stolen netbook, the password broken within a matter of seconds, and what she saw there was worse than chasing the shyno or working indirectly for a black ops company. Broder had been put on someone's wanted list and it scared her. He would need her if he were to survive.

The breakfast table set, coffee poured and toast buttered, she went to her injured former lover and helped him up. He was over a foot taller than her and as he stood up she had a desire to jump into his arms as she used to, but she told herself to behave. That was something she found almost impossible to do as she looked at his bare slightly hairy chest, her weakness. She smiled up at him as she ran her nails lightly down his chest and then motioned towards the table.

Broder knew that she liked to set the pace and so he continued to follow her silent morning as he took a seat in front of the beautiful breakfast waiting for him. There was a single rose placed in a small glass vase and a haiku in Japanese next to it with a drawing of a cat. They both smiled as she poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him.

She finally broke the silence as he took a drink of his coffee, "Is the gaijin hungry?"

"Very," He smiled, as she kissed him on the lips, "I should have known it was you."

"And here I thought the cat was a little too predictable," She said, checking his bandage.

"That Keiji Okuda a doctor?" Broder asked, looking at her small hand tenderly touching his shoulder.

"Former med student and now an Alliance Intelligence Agent stationed at the Tokyo office," She answered, satisfied with the way Keiji had tended the wound. "But he also does a little curator type of work for Kuroth Services."

"Is that who you work for?" Broder asked, touching her hand.

"I own it," She nodded, squeezing his hand and then sitting down in front of her steamed rice, tamagoyaki and broiled salted salmon.

"An entrepreneur?" Broder sounded surprised but a part of him expected this from that little smart, curious and hungry girl of Tashirojima.

"Business woman, yes," She answered. As she brought the chopsticks of rice to her mouth, he could see her taking a bite out of the galaxy.

With a mouthful of pancakes, he looked around the apartment and noted that it was spacious for Tokyo standards, "Huyu said that you were doing well in Tokyo."

"He said that you looked like shit," She said, placing a bit of salmon in her mouth.

"Is that what you think?" Broder asked, putting down his fork.

"Or did he say that you were being stupid?" She pretended to wonder as she ignored his look of disapproval.

"Neko," Broder heard her give a giggle as she moved playfully towards him before her eyes turned serious.

"The shyno?" She looked up into his eyes, "Not too bright."

Broder could see that she was concerned, "It's a job."

"It's suicide," She said, returning to her rice as she picked up her chopsticks. "But hey, it's your suicide."

"How did you know where to find me?" Broder asked, wanting to change the subject.

"I tracked your travel plans once grandfather told me you were back in Japan," She answered, looking at his hand as he picked up his coffee cup. "Grandfather hoped that I could talk you out of this craziness. I mean, really?"

Broder knew that this was crazy, "It's important."

"What's her name?" She asked, looking out at the sky traffic racing by.

"It's not like that," Broder said, turning her face back towards him. "Really."

"But it is a she," She said, standing up and disappearing into her office, only to reemerge with the stolen netbook.

"A childhood friend is in trouble," Broder said, watching as she opened up the netbook, turned it on and pulled up a file.

"She sure is," She shook her head. "Even the great and powerful Oz wants her dead."

"What?" Broder leaned forward, looking at the communication on the screen.

"Those two men are working for an agent tied to the Shadow Broker," She said, running through the messages until she found what she wanted. "The Broker likes to work through others and keep its hands, claws, whatever clean. Who is this friend?"

"You don't know, miss know-it-all?" Broder could feel his throat tightening. How was he going to protect Shepard from both the Shyno and the Shadow Broker?

"They only used a code name," She said, tapping on the screen, "Ushanensa."

"Ushanensa?" Broder had never heard of that word.

"It's a batarian term," She told him, "It means a type of change, a negative and violent type."

"I don't understand," And Broder meant it. How did that relate to Shepard?

"It's really simple," She said, "Ushanensa when used on a person means that they are seen as a violent one responsible for a negative or dark change. The big B must see her as a challenge to the status quo. A challenge to his authority somehow. Or, worse case, she is really a threat and needs to be stopped. Do you know her that well?"

"Dammitt!" Broder swore, sitting back in his chair. "She is not a threat to good people!"

"Who is she?" She asked, placing the netbook to her left on the table and standing up.

"You ever heard of Commander Shepard?" Broder asked as she straddled him in the chair.

"The hero of the Blitz?" She ran her fingers down his chest again. "I'm a fan."

"I'm married now," Broder said, grabbing her hands as he tried to behave.

_Married?_ She had not thought that he would ever tell her what he had done. A part of her had hoped that he would have kept it to himself as he touched her again.

"Her name is Katrine," Broder forced himself to speak her name as a reminder that he was not a free man anymore. "I met her in Warsaw."

"And here I thought something petite, smart and Japanese was more to your style," She teased, trying to cover her pain as she looked at his Eastern-European features.

Broder looked at her small waist, her body ready for him and knew that despite his little Neko's carefree attitude, she was sensitive. He would not take what they once had and hurt her with it. "Go eat."

Broder patted her behind as she stood up and returned to her own seat, picking up the chopsticks, "Shall we discuss business then, Mr. Kowalski?"

"Business?" Broder rubbed his stubbled chin.

"Kuroth Services trades in items and information," She said, using the netbook again to open her business site. "You are going to need information. Japanese Information. I can supply that."

"This could be dangerous," Broder told her, pointing to his wounded shoulder. "… and illegal at times. You don't want to get involved with this, Ms. Goto."

"Himitsu mamottekureru?" She asked as she pulled up the Tokyo National Museum site.

"Of course, I can keep a secret," Broder said, curious at what she was about to tell him.

"I'm the best thief in the business," she smiled as she pointed to the sculpture of a Japanese woman on the Tokyo National Museum site and then looked over at the same bust in her living area.

He looked at the image on the site and after reading the text next to it, __Japanese Woman___ by Vincenzo Ragusa (1841~1927) Dated 1881_, he then looked over at the bronze bust in her apartment as well. "Are you saying that … that's real?"

"I'm saying that it's stolen," She smiled, enjoying his confusion. "They have a worthless bust and I have a piece of art. Everyone is happy. I love the look on her face, don't you?"

"But," Broder looked at her as she smiled at her stolen art piece, "You? You actually stole that? And without getting caught?"

"I'm the best," She smiled, "And I've never been caught. I'm very careful. Do you want to know my secret?"

Broder nodded.

She moved closer to him and whispered, "I watch my step to keep it that way."

"Neko, that is one thing," He stood up and walked towards the bust. "But if what you are saying is true, that both the shyno and the Shadow Broker are after Shepard, this could become even more dangerous than I thought."

"Then you need my help," She said, standing up and following him into the living area.

He felt her grab his arm and as he turned around she stepped up on the ottoman, making her a little closer to his height, "If I hire you, will you be careful and cut me a deal?"

"Safe? Of course," She smiled, patting his chest. "A deal? Galileo Industries has deep pockets. Deep. Markup should be expected."

Broder shook his head as he picked her up and carried her back to the dining table, "Of course."

"I'll see that Keiji uses his contacts to take care of this assassin," She smiled as he put her back in her seat.

Even with his shoulder hurt, she was easy to carry, "What does he do for you?"

"Keiji is the best hacker and entry man ever known," She answered, watching him pick up his coffee cup and walk over to her bookcase near the entryway. "He also has contacts that can make people disappear if needed, not that I've ever required that service before."

"Is he also your boyfriend?" Broder asked, taking a drink of his coffee and pulling out J.D. Robb's _Naked In Death_, which made him laugh and look over at her as he held up the book. "Seriously?"

"Don't laugh, I like those books," She said, glad to see him smiling. "Romance novels, crime novels, the classics. There's something about the feel of actual paper in your hands and I love their musty smell. It's relaxing."

"And your boyfriend?" Broder put the book back.

"Keiji finds me books while on jobs," She said. "Some of these books are more valuable than the objects he was hired to steal."

"And is he your boyfriend?" Broder could see that she was evading his question.

"Jealous?" She asked, pulling her knees up to her chin as she sat on the chair.

"Depends," Broder said, grabbing his trench coat off the coat rack and hunting through the pockets for his cigarettes. "What do you let him call you?"

She got up and raced to him, grabbing his matches and lighting his cigarette, "What do you think? My name."

"Neko?" He teased, saying his nickname for her, as he inhaled.

"My real name," She smiled up at him wishing that she was taller.

Broder pulled the cigarette from his lips, exhaled and rubbed his chin, "What is your real name, Miss Goto?"

She giggled as she began to walk away, "Kasumi, stupid gaijin!"

"Then no," Broder smiled, pulling her back and bending down to kiss her nose, "I'm not jealous, smart Neko."


	109. Conversations

Five hours. Shepard looked over at Admiral Hackett and he looked just as bored as she felt. The meeting with the Alliance brass and political powers currently on the Arc had centered on the ways that Shepard could help advance humanity, Shepard's position as an agent of the Council and the Normandy. That last part was thrown in there just as a reminder to Shepard why she needed to be an obedient child. You see, these good men and women could take her toy away, along with the soldiers that went with it, if she wasn't a good girl. The suits also wanted to remind her that there was a power struggle still going on and Shepard, even if she reported to the aliens now, must never forget that. Senator Varus' empty seat was a reminder as well. She was away in Geneva killing bills that would approve the sale of land and businesses on Earth to aliens. The party that had been pushing these bills was hoping to gain trillions of salarian currency once they passed. Never mind that access to Earth was also strictly limited to the outsiders, as the Alliance struggled to get a seat on the Council. They hoped that the restrictions would be just one more bargaining chip to entice the mighty three. The truth was that the Council and those that they individually represented had no desire for Earthly things. The pushes to gain access to Earth's resources, land and businesses were simply a ruse to keep the Earthlings focused on what wasn't important.

But the Alliance did not need to worry about Shepard and her loyalty to humanity or their home planet. She not only remembered that she was human but her own family had left for Earth the previous morning. Protecting Earth was personal, even if she was a Mindoir girl. It meant protecting her family and friends and the lands of her father and mother. She also knew that in order to protect all that she loved, she had to protect her own image. She had to play a game that kept everyone around her a little off balance. After seeing her grandmother and Aunt off at the port, she received a call from Admiral Hackett who requested that she attend a dinner with him that evening. He told her that Senator Claudette Varus wanted her to meet a young Senator from Rome who was moving fast up the ranks. Shepard found herself not only introduced to the Senator but also sitting next to the young and very single male at the dinner. As the Senator spoke about his friendship with Madame Varus, Shepard could see that her political benefactor was playing matchmaker. At least she had good taste, Shepard thought. Edoardo Maestri was attractive, attentive, charming and a self-made man. She flirted, he flirted and then she said goodnight. Had Shepard been on the market for a new lover, he would have been a contender. But she wasn't and she accepted that, even as she still played the game.

Shepard had even shared her feelings about Liara with her grandmother on their last night together. Of course, she had waited until she had taken Liara back to the Normandy just in case her grandmother had a heart attack. Luckily, no EMT had been needed after the confession. But her grandmother had been shocked. Shepard could see that the old woman was struggling with it and when she finally spoke it was very careful and soft in tone. Elizabeth told her granddaughter that she was opposed to that type of relationship because "a normal relationship between us humans is hard enough, Lil'Bit. Choosing an alien, even one as sweet as Liara, has some very high and unforgiving hurdles that I think will only cause you heartache."

At the port, the next morning, Elizabeth told Shepard to think it through before moving the relationship with Liara into the light. "Relationships with aliens aren't looked upon favorably back on Earth," Elizabeth reminded her granddaughter. "I would hazard a guess that it would be even more so within the Alliance. Make sure that this is really what you want before you poke that hornets' nest." Shepard said that she understood and asked if her grandmother was really that disappointed. "Not disappointed," Elizabeth hugged her. "I just want you to be happy and this concerns me. You are choosing a partner that will only add more challenges to your life and Lord knows, Lil'Bit, you have enough of those. But whatever you choose, you and the person you love will always have a home in Georgia. Even if it means that our house is egged, your Aunt Toni goes into hiding and your grandpa has to carry his shotgun everywhere."

That last remark from her grandmother made Shepard smile as the meeting continued to drone on and on. Looking at her glass of water made her wish that it was filled with vodka. Shepard hated meetings that were held simply to flex muscles, suck up air and justify positions. She knew that she was not under the authority of the Alliance now and that as a SpecTRe she could get up and walk out. But to do so would risk seeing the Normandy shackled and her looking for a new ride. She looked at her Alliance medals and thought how this feeling of being chained to them had never bothered her in the past. Actually, she had never felt chained but a part of the Alliance. She had been committed to her job and to her responsibilities, accepting the orders given to her. But now, she wanted her freedom. As she looked at her glass of water, she thought of the last time she really felt free. She was an eighteen-year-old girl sitting on her motorcycle in front of the Alamo late at night.

_Remember the Alamo_, she laughed to herself as she tapped on her glass of water. A part of her wondered what was happening to her. Why was she finding it harder to allow these people to act as if they were her superiors? Why did she struggle with keeping the chain around her neck? Why did she have an urge to thrust her knife into the throat of the pompous ass flapping his gums? She had been changing and it was so subtle that she didn't know when or where it had even happened. _The Alamo_, she sighed. She was no longer that lost, lonely kid. She looked around the table and truly realized that she had more power and authority than anyone in that room.

This clarity of vision made her almost laugh out loud as the Admiral standing up, pointed at his presentation on what Commander Shepard's main objective should be. Who was he to tell her, a SpecTRe, what her objective should be? When did he become part of the Council? Shepard grabbed her glass as she looked at the Admiral, a man who had less authority than the woman he was trying to order around. She had done heroic things, shameful things, godly things, demonic things to be where she was at that moment. She had eaten the sin to keep others from losing their sainthood. What had this man done to even think he had the right to order her about? To stand in the same room that she sat in?

Why did she have to suffer this meeting? Hadn't she suffered enough? As if reading her mind, the Admiral talked about the time and money that the Alliance had willingly given to keep the Normandy running. _Pull that chain_, Shepard thought as she took another drink of water. The Admiral's voice boomed as he read off the current monthly expenses as well as the costs associated with the deaths on Virmire. Shepard hated how members of her crew were treated as numbers. Their sacrifices turned into a dollar figure. Her head was starting to hurt as the Admiral continued to talk like a human calculator. Then he moved on to the destruction of the Eldfell-Ashland Energy plant and the importance of protecting human assets. Shepard thought of putting a hole in his head just to shut him up, but instead she sighed as she looked up at the presentation. He pointed at something that he thought was important on his colored chart, and she imagined again getting up and putting her knife through his neck. Her head was beginning to throb, the yap-yap-yap of his voice in her ears becoming more offensive, causing Shepard to close her eyes.

The room grew hotter and there was the sound of a flag flapping in the wind. Shepard opened her eyes and saw three hooded men with their backs to her, standing where the Admiral had been. They were pointing at the presentation which now showed a barren landscape and the number 4 in blood. Shepard looked around the table and the seats were empty. The ground shook as the table fell through the floor into a pit of lava. Shepard stood up, panic rising in her, and turned around to see Mentetis standing behind her. She tried to tell him to move but her mouth was gone.

"You must remember, Shepard," Mentetis said, as she touched her face where her mouth had once been. "You must make them see what is coming before the harvesters get here." And then he was gone and she was back listening to the human calculator as the memory of Mentetis faded away. _What was I suppose to remember? _Shepard looked at her glass of water. _Oh, yes, the Alamo_.

* * *

><p>The hour was early and there were just a few people that had arrived in the asari wing of the Council building as Tevos sat at her desk reading. She was waiting for a call back from the Normandy as she turned a page in the Book of Kurinth. These writings on the wisdom of the Goddess of war and hunting were said to have been transcribed during the first half of the fifth century. It was written in the ancient tongue of Anonia, a language that was spoken by those serving Athame in the temples to this day. Tevos remembered an asari at twelve reading out of this very book to her and the child's mother, Benezia. Tevos smiled at that memory, remembering how proud Benezia was at her daughter's skilled tongue at languages. Tevos had received a message from Liara T'Soni in that very language, a way to keep it from being translated by others. Human others.<p>

Tevos had also received a message from Avyn Ekdic about the human SpecTRe and it had made her question the safety of Liara. Avyn had shared what she had felt inside the human's mind and the way that the human had been able to partition Avyn from seeing inside her. This information concerned Tevos. This was not something that happened to their kind and she wondered if Psyria would also be shut out. But then there were the words; _No daughter of Thessia shall harm her_. These words had been felt by Avyn and they kept repeating in Tevos' mind over and over. Not only had they been said in the language of Anonia but was a direct quote from the Book of Kurinth. Coincidence? Tevos put down the book and stood up. The human could not know what was written in that book or speak the language. Who had placed that in her head? Liara? Or someone else? If so, who?

The light chime sounded and Tevos went to her comm. pedestal, "Open communication."

"Good morning, Councilor Tevos," Liara said in the language of Anonia in order to keep their communication private.

"Good evening, Liara," Tevos said, speaking in the same tongue. "Is Commander Shepard on board the Normandy?"

"Not at this time," Liara answered, "She had meetings with the Alliance, but she will be here soon."

"The Alliance," Tevos gave a small sigh. "We will need to cut those ties soon."

"How is Matriarch Lidanya?" Liara asked, "I hope that she is well and that your house is filled with peace."

"She is well," Tevos smiled, trying to decide on the next course of action. "I was surprised to receive your message from the Normandy. It was my understanding that you were quite content with your work on Aethoyner."

"I was," Liara answered, "But I felt that I could be of more use with the SpecTRe."

"What kind of use?" Tevos asked, wishing that they were speaking in person. It was harder to read a person in holo form.

"With her current mission, I believe that she needs the wisdom of the asari," Liara answered, not being completely open in her response.

"I would agree that she needs our guidance," Tevos said, "But you are quite young, Liara. Should we not have someone with more experience to assist her?"

"She has grown to trust me," Liara answered, not wanting any other asari near Shepard.

"She could learn to trust another," Tevos said, wondering if that was even possible.

"As you would wish, but we must be careful," Liara answered, knowing that the Councilor could send her away. "She is not open to our ways. Nor does she trust us easily."

"No, she does not," Tevos looked over at the book. "Why does she trust you, Liara? Does she see you as different? Not as an asari?"

"It is complicated," Liara answered, debating on telling the Councilor the full truth. "But she is not blind. She knows that I am an asari and that my devotion is to Thessia. There is no deception between us."

"What then is between you, Liara?" Tevos asked, seeking out the truth of the relationship.

"Trust," Liara answered, needing to protect Shepard and her own emotions.

"With that trust," Tevos asked, "Has she shared what the beacon on Aethoyner contained?"

"Not at this time," Liara answered. "She is refusing."

"But she shared the last vision," Tevos said. "Did you hurt her in that joining?"

"No," Liara said, "I was very careful with her."

"Why does she refuse then?" Tevos asked, already understanding why as she thought of Avyn's message.

"Part of it is her distaste for our touch of the mind," Liara answered, a fact that pained her. "But … I believe that it is more than that. I think that she is trying to hide what she knows, at least for now. That there was something in that message that … has worried her."

"We must know what she was given," Tevos said, wishing that she was talking to Psyria and not Liara. Psyria could join with the human, pull whatever the asari needed and wipe that joining from her memory. Liara had not shown that skill yet. She was too young and inexperienced. Even if she weren't, that gift may never even develop in her. "You must keep trying, Liara."

"I understand," Liara said, relieved that Tevos was not making her leave the Commander. "She just needs time."

"Let us hope that we have that time to give," Tevos said, as the words _no daughter of Thessia shall harm her_ repeated.

"She will open to me," Liara said, hoping that her words were not false.

Tevos could see that there was something that Liara was not saying and she decided to seek the truth, "Liara, is there more than trust between you and this human? Is there a hunger?"

Liara knew that she would not dishonor the Councilor, herself or Shepard by denying what was, but she was afraid to speak it. Would Tevos disapprove and send her away? Shepard was not just another human and Liara was of the Circle. Both of them were people with responsibilities and expectations.

"Liara?" Tevos pushed, even as she already had her answer by the asari's silence.

"Yes," Liara said.

"And have you pleasured with her?" Tevos asked, hoping that it had not come to that. She could send Liara back to Aethoyner before there was a chance for her to give pain to the human.

"We have pleasured each other," Liara said, almost defiant with the delivery of those words.

_Too late_, Tevos thought as she turned away and looked out at the birds flying by. _We must move forward_, Tevos told herself as she said to Liara, "You cannot hurt her, Liara."

"I would never hurt Shepard," Liara said with both her mind and heart.

"You say that with such assuredness," Tevos smiled. "Let us hope that you are right."

"I am," Liara said, "I would rather die than hurt her."

"Those are human words, Liara," Tevos said. "Do not mimic her in words or behaviors. You are an asari and to try and mirror who she is will only harm both of you."

Liara bowed her head again, understanding what Tevos was telling her, "Forgive me. But I would do my best to not allow our ways to hurt her."

"But it is our ways that is the reason she needs you, Liara," Tevos said. "You may even need to use our gifts to see what that beacon gave her. Maybe it could be done as she sleeps?"

"That would be a dishonor to her and to us," Liara said, her mother's training rearing its head. "We do not take what is not giving."

Tevos heard Benezia in Liara's answer and she nodded, "The words of a Matriarch. But if what she knows can save all of us, if that threat is real, we may have to take steps that are not easy or honorable."

Liara closed her eyes, "We all must sacrifice for Thessia."

"For Thessia," Tevos could see that the young asari was hurting. "But let that be our last option, Liara. I have faith in you … use the desire that she has for you to get at the truth. Hopefully, what that beacon revealed was nothing more than new technology that she is giving to the Alliance as we speak."

"She would not do that," Liara said, still trying to protect Shepard.

"Liara," Tevos smiled, "There would be no dishonor in the human putting her kind before all others. Would you not do the same?"

"Yes," Liara answered. "But Shepard is a SpecTRe now. She would put the galaxy ahead of everything."

"To a degree that is true," Tevos said. "She will sacrifice a part of her people if it would save a greater amount of souls. But if the scale is equal in weight than she will choose humans over others and there is no shame in that, Liara. It is because of that balance that we need more humans in the agency."

"Shepard is not like that," Liara said, wanting to defend her.

"Do not put her on a pedestal, daughter of Thessia," Tevos said, needing the asari to stay focused and not clouded by the hunger. "That fall would be too great for even her to survive. See her for who she is … ungraceful, weak, yet beautiful and a force of her own kind. If you cannot see all her parts equally, then you do not see her at all."

"Thank you for your wisdom," Liara said, understanding that she had at times lost sight of the human in her own desires. This was a new experience for the young asari. She had always been more practical in her relationships than romantic.

"Once you are back on the Citadel, you must come see me," Tevos said, knowing that she would have to tell Matriarch Livia of this potential disaster to the house of T'Soni.

"Excuse me," the voice of Shepard was heard by the Councilor as the Commander entered the Normandy's conference room. "I apologize if I am interrupting an important conversation."

"All conversations have an importance," Tevos said, changing to basic asari and smiling as the human stepped next to Liara. "How have you been, Commander?"

"Never better," Shepard returned the smile. "I was just coming to pick up Dr. T'Soni for a small dinner party I'm throwing tonight in her honor."

"I'll go get my things," Liara smiled at Shepard and then turned back at Tevos, "Councilor, thank you for your words and patience. May I leave?"

"Of course," Tevos said, looking at the asari and human together.

As Liara exited the conference room, Shepard turned back to Tevos, "Any insight into where Saren may be?"

"No," Tevos answered. "But he will reveal himself."

"Let's hope that I'm close enough when he does," Shepard said, remembering their struggle on Virmire. "Maybe this time I won't fail."

"You won't," Tevos said, "Be careful, Commander, in all things that you do. Close communication."

The lights in the conference room brightened as the holo display shut off. Shepard wondered what the two asari were discussing and asked Joker to play the conversation back. Nope. She didn't understand any of it. More asari gibberish_. _

"Of course," Shepard said as she asked Joker to shut it off after a few minutes.

"It's all like that," Joker said over the conference room's comm. system. "Do you want me to see if Tali can hack it somehow?"

"Don't waste her time, Joker," Shepard said as she sat in her chair. "I have a feeling that they used a language not known to the common mouse."

* * *

><p><em>The human SpecTRe and the daughter of Benezia together?<em> This was not what Tevos wanted to hear and as she walked out on the balcony of her office and looked at the lake below, she wished that the Matriarch was still with them. _What would you have me do?_ She asked as a gentle breeze brushed by her face. _Do I stop this or do I just wait? _

Tevos knew that the daughter of Benezia was still young, too young, and not at the age of desiring a companion. If the human were to fall in love with Liara it could only end in the human being left as the asari in her youth was as changing as the seasons. Tevos knew that Liara would become bored of the human and seek new experiences elsewhere. _If only you were a few centuries older,_ Tevos thought.

Normally Tevos would not worry about a human having her heart broken by an asari, or any other species. The loss of a loved one was part of living; even she had been required to let her love go. But the thought of the Commander being emotionally wounded by one of her own kind, was the last thing that Tevos wanted. She needed Shepard to trust her, to trust the Matriarchs. Being hurt by an asari could put Shepard back at square one, or maybe even on a negative square. _That is more likely_; Tevos thought as she returned to her desk and pulled up the image of Shepard. She knew that Liara would not lie to her and looking at Shepard, it was hard to imagine her touching an asari in pleasure. The Commander did not like touching them in any way, social or otherwise.

She remembered the way that the woman had responded even to her while on the Citadel. _How did you get past all that__, Liara?_ Looking closer at Shepard, she wondered if she was in love with the young asari or simply experimenting as well. She could only hope but this she highly doubted. _Do not love her_, Tevos said to the image of Shepard, just as she was glad that the woman showed she could be open to at least one of them. Now if the human could only love an asari that Tevos chose. An asari that was older and wiser and certainly not a daughter of the Circle. But who would she choose? As she began to run through the possibilities of lovers for the Commander, she hoped that she did not have to arrange a seduction in order to protect the human from one of their young.

Tevos sat down at her desk and pulled up her appointment calendar. She typed in the name Sha'ira and then closed it. _We must be prepared for anything_; she said and then pulled up the Matriarch Livia's contact information. She would need to keep the Grameno of the T'Soni line updated on the potential disaster between Shepard and Liara.

* * *

><p>They had said very little to each other from the Normandy to Shepard's apartment, not out of anger but knowing that their words and looks were not private. Now that they were in the apartment, the front door closed, and the world shut out, Liara touched Shepard's waist and kissed her. She loved the taste of the human and the way that this woman would step into her. Feeling Shepard's heart beating faster, her sex beginning to waken, Liara kissed Shepard deeper.<p>

"No," Shepard pulled away, her face flushed. "We have a dinner to prepare, Liara. Play fair. You know that there isn't enough time for that."

"You could not have come for me earlier?" Liara asked, as Shepard stepped into the kitchen.

"I came as soon as I could," Shepard said and then began to pull out the ingredients for her wild mushroom lasagna as Liara moved into the living area and turned on the iMuse.

"How was your meeting with the Alliance?" Liara asked, looking at the Shepard family portrait in the living area.

Shepard started filling the pot with water, as the sound of Akdhat began to float around the small apartment, "I'll tell you if you tell me how your meeting with the Councilor went."

Liara entered the kitchen, not answering Shepard, and pulled down a bottle of Château Carbonnieux White, "This one?"

Shepard looked over and nodded as she began to preheat the oven. The next two hours saw the two moving about the kitchen as Liara followed Shepard's instructions and when not chopping or stirring was making sure that Shepard's glass was never empty. As the buttered parchment paper was placed over the lasagna and then slid into the oven, Liara refilled Shepard's glass for the third time.

"Now about that meeting?" Shepard asked, taking her wine into the living area.

"It went well," Liara said as she watched Shepard change the faux window to an evening view. "She asked if you had shared the vision with me."

"I see," Shepard looked over at Liara and frowned. "And like you, she doesn't understand my lack of joy at your people's mind chats."

"Shepard," Liara reached out as she walked past her. "We are just trying to help."

Shepard stopped and looked at Liara, "I know."

"Then why will you not trust me?" She asked, as Shepard led her over to one of the barstools at the kitchen counter.

"Sit," Shepard said, patting the white cushion.

"Shepard," Liara tried to protest but the look in her lover's eyes said that she might as well not argue.

Seeing Liara following her order, Shepard smiled and after pouring the asari a glass of wine and handing it to her, sat down next to her and explained, "When I was six years old, I did something that was bad. Not an adult type of bad, mind you, but a child type of bad. The funny thing is that if I were to tell you what I did, you would probably tell me that it was nothing. You might even laugh that this very childish memory still causes me a sense of shame even to this day. But it does. It is one of my memories that I've never shared … and I don't plan on ever sharing. This probably doesn't make sense to you, but it's my sense, my memories and my brain. You want to understand me, but it has to be on my terms."

"I would only look at the vision," Liara said, trying to reassure Shepard of her desire to join with her.

Shepard shook her head, "Liara, I would sooner give you my bank account information. Although, I do wonder if you could just sneak up into my head and not tell me. Is that possible?"

"What?" Liara was offended that the human would even suggest that she would take what was not freely given.

"Do asari have that capability?" Shepard asked, seeing Liara getting upset.

"No," Liara lied. "Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know," Shepard said, her headache starting again.

Liara calmed herself and tried again, "Shepard, it is only what you received from the beacon that concerns me."

"You say that," Shepard said, taking a drink of her wine. "But how do I know that's true?"

"Would you prefer someone else?" Liara asked, not hiding her hurt feelings. "Is that what you want? Someone else to help you? I am sure that Councilor Tevos could arrange that."

"No," Shepard stood up and stepped between Liara's legs. "The only asari that I ever want getting inside me is you … and I mean that literally. But my mind is different."

"Because of that one memory?" Liara asked, wondering what she had done as a six year old to be so ashamed of it.

"That was just one example," Shepard smiled, touching Liara's bottom lip. "There are private memories that are not just shame based or dark … some are plain silly, romantic, pornographic and others just simply too personal. There are moments with my parents that are just ours, no one else's. There are words shared with my past lovers that were meant just for them and, Alfalfa knows, that there were positions we tried that I'd really like to forget. Liara, my memories are mine and I will choose to share or not to share with others. These mind chats are controlled by you, not me. If I thought that I could control what you saw, locked away what I want to keep just mine, there would be no issue. But I can't."

"There is a way," Liara said, putting her wine glass down.

"How?" Shepard asked, not fully trusting Liara's words.

"If you focus on the vision before I enter," Liara said, "Then that will be the first thing that I will see."

"And the only thing?" Shepard asked, trying to read if Liara was being truthful.

"Yes," Liara said, knowing that she was not being truthful but also not lying. The lie was that once she was inside Shepard, no matter what the woman thought, she would still have to search for the vision. But she was being truthful in that she would not seek out any other memory, dream, hope or thoughts that were in Shepard's mind.

"Let me think about this," Shepard said, taking a drink of her wine.

"Can I touch you after everyone is gone?" Liara asked, slipping her hand into Shepard's shirt and running the back of her finger down the side of Shepard's breast.

"Did you think that I was going to let you leave tonight?" Shepard asked, moving closer as they began to kiss.


	110. Cinnamon Toast Kisses

The apartment was quiet, both faux windows set to a night time rain, the lights dimmed and the dinner guests gone. Liara had waited for Shepard to fall asleep before she exited the bed, made a pot of Earth tea and sat down in the living area. Once there, she ran her hand against the fabric on one of the throw pillows as she took a sip of the hot liquid and tried not to think of that evening's party. Instead, she looked up at the drops hitting the glass panes, the inferior tasting Earl Grey tea on her lips, and thought of Shepard and the vision.

The dinner party had, by all outward appearances, been enjoyable for everyone in attendance. But the truth was that Liara had found the evening very uncomfortable from the moment the first guest arrived. When the knock came, Shepard was trying to change in the bedroom as Liara started to sidetrack her with kisses. Shepard, laughing, told Liara to behave and go "play hostess and let our guest in."

Liara, entering the common area, looked at the door and hoped that the person on the other side was Rose Stuart, whom she had met at the spaghetti and meatballs dinner party. As she put her hand on the entrance panel, she closed her eyes and prayed that it was Rose.

The door slid opened and instead she was looking at Michelle Edgar holding a bottle of Champagne and smiling, "Let's get this party started!"

"Good evening," Liara smiled back, praying that the human did not recognize her, but she was not getting her way on that prayer either.

"Oh, shit!" Michelle froze as she looked into the blue eyes of the asari that had turned her down on Quana. "It's you! This has to be fate!"

"You must be Lt. Michelle Edgar," Liara said, ignoring the woman's words and moving to the side to allow her entrance. "The Commander will be out soon."

"Don't you remember me?" Michelle asked, placing the champagne bottle on the kitchen bar counter and draping her coat on one of the barstools. "The Aikaterine! We talked in the elevator."

"No," Liara looked at her as if she had no memory of that event, "Would you like something to drink?"

"What?" Michelle watched as Liara entered the kitchen and opened another bottle of Château Carbonnieux White. "You don't remember me? Oh, I see. You didn't tell Shepard about us."

_Us?_ Liara tried to ignore that word as she focused on the bottle of wine and Michelle focused on her backside from the other side of the counter.

"Hey, girlfriend," Shepard said, coming out of the bedroom and kissing Michelle. "Rose's babysitter is running late so she'll be here in about a half hour. I told her to bring the lady bug but she said that little ears have big mouths."

Michelle looked at Liara, who was pouring her a glass of wine, and nodded, "Lerato does repeat what she hears, so that's probably wise. But enough about Rose and the munchkin, why didn't you tell me how attractive Liara was?"

Shepard smiled as she looked over at the asari, "To be honest, I thought that maybe you two had already met."

"No," Liara said as she handed Michelle the glass of wine, "I have never met her. Do you want a refill?"

Michelle frowned as she watched Liara take Shepard's wine glass and disappear back into the kitchen before following Shepard into the living area, "What made you think that?"

"I don't know," Shepard looked at her friend, and whispered, "I just thought she might be that fine ass you went on and on about at the Aikaterine."

Michelle was suddenly glad that Shepard didn't know, "No, that wasn't her. But consider yourself lucky."

"Why?" Shepard asked, sitting down on the couch.

"Because, if she was that asari," Michelle said, "I'd steal that piece of ass from you."

Shepard saw Liara come into view behind Michelle and said, "Please ignore some of the things that my friend, Michelle, says tonight. She has a human disorder called Tourette's syndrome. She just can't help herself."

"Huh?" Michelle turned around, still saying all the wrong things in front of the asari. "I'm sorry. Now you see why they keep me on a ship most of the year."

"Speaking of the Madrid," Shepard said, taking the glass of wine from Liara, "Tell me about the gang. I heard that Seaborg was promoted."

As Shepard and Michelle talked, Liara sat down in the oversized chair next to the fireplace and pretended to drink her wine as she listened. Michelle reminded Liara of Chief Williams and Shepard responded to both women the same. Her language became saltier, her humor a little more vulgar and her laughter more devilish. This Shepard, like the warrior, was the part of the human that Liara felt detached from. It was this part of Shepard that would never belong to Liara.

As the two humans continued to talk, Liara could see that the woman was stealing peeks at her and she hoped that Shepard was not noticing or she might blame the asari. Or at least, that was what Liara feared. The asari, given their reputation, found that they were blamed when a heart of a non-asari was broken. To try and show that she was not encouraging the woman, Liara looked over at the fire and pretended to be listening to Calixto Miguel singing _Sabor A Mi_.

Shepard looked over at Liara and patted the seat next to her, "Liara, why are you so far away from us?"

Liara turned to Shepard and gave a soft smile as she shook her head, not wanting to sit between her lover and that woman.

"Liara," Shepard smiled back and patted the seat next to her. She didn't want her to feel shut out and was trying to pull her in. "Please, come sit next to me."

"I am fine here," Liara said, taking a drink of her wine.

Shepard pouted and then looked at Michelle, "All those years that you went on about the asari and you never mentioned how stubborn they can be."

"That's because I never had that problem," Michelle responded, looking at Liara, "If you knew how to please her with your tongue, like me, she would do whatever you asked."

"Ouch," Shepard laughed, thinking this was their usual friendly teasing, while Liara understood that Michelle was trying to draw her interest. If Liara had been Sibila, this type of boasting might make her sexually curious, the way that Michelle was hoping. But she wasn't. So instead of drawing Liara closer, Michelle was digging her hole deeper.

"You know we've discussed this before," Michelle said to Shepard, "With your beauty you've never needed to be that great in bed. Not really. I mean, if you just let the guy touch you that was all you needed to do. Right? You let them kiss your lips, touch your tits, spread your legs and they shoot their wad."

"Who told you?" Shepard jokingly asked, standing up. "Dammit, and here I paid all those guys hush-hush money on my famous starfish move in bed. The bastards!"

As Shepard headed to the kitchen to check on their dinner, Michelle looked over at Liara, her eyes falling to the asari's breasts, "This must be boring for you ... all this talk about ships and our friends."

"It pleases Shepard," Liara said, her words cold and clipped. "That is what matters."

"What about you?" Michelle asked. "I don't think that Shepard knows what your kind really enjoys or the type of pain that turns you on."

Liara looked over at Shepard and wondered if she was being tested. What was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to be open to these advances or reject her? Liara turned away from Shepard, deciding to stay true to who she was and looked at Michelle, "I do not mean to be rude, but understand that Shepard is the only human that I desire here."

Even with those words, Michelle continued to use tactics that had worked on other asari. Never mind that it only ended in a one night stand, Michelle knew with this asari it would be different. Throughout the dinner party, she would bring up her skills as a lesbian and asari lover and then drop in Shepard's inexperience outside of the human males and had even brought up Shepard's old feelings of the asari. It was all done carefully, so as not to raise suspicions, but Liara saw through it and hoped that Shepard was blind to it all.

* * *

><p>After the guests had left, Shepard had been a little quiet as she and Liara straightened up the kitchen before bed. The quieter Shepard was the more Liara hoped that she was just tired and not upset over her friend's behavior. Had she seen through the words and figured it out?<p>

Shepard looked at Liara, as she handed her the last dish to dry, and wanted to do something to make the night not so terrible. She knew that Liara hadn't enjoyed the party and wanted, no needed to do something for her. "So were you being truthful to me, Liara?"

_Truthful?_ Liara placed the dried plate in the cupboard and thinking that Shepard was talking about Michelle, was unsure of how to answer. So she remained silent. Shepard, drying her hands, continued to look at Liara as she waited on an answer.

Realizing that the asari was not going to answer her, she pushed, "Liara? If I think about the vision that's all you'll see? The rest of what's in my head will remain mine?"

"The vision?" Liara was relieved that Shepard was not talking about Michelle, but she was almost speechless. She had not expected Shepard to bring up the beacon without her pushing.

"Yes," Shepard said, drying the counter and turning off the overhead light. "What did you think I was talking about?"

Liara ran her hand down Shepard's arm, "Yes, Shepard. If you think on the vision before we join, there will be no need for me to search."

"Well, since this is why you came after me," Shepard said, "let's just get it out of the way. This way you can dump me when we get back to the Citadel."

Liara hated when Shepard talked to her like that, but she was not going to argue. She needed to see what was in that beacon and so she stayed silent. For the time being.

Shepard walked to the couch, sat down and turned off the iMuse. A part of her believed that Liara was lying to her, but she also knew that the asari would not hurt her, at least not intentionally. She hoped. "Remember, ukulele is the safe word and I would appreciate it if you did not browse. There is no browsing section in my mind. You are only allowed to what the beacon put up into my head and nothing more."

"I will not hurt you or break your trust," Liara promised, sitting down next to her. "Just think about the vision. Nothing else."

"You look at the vision only, Liara," Shepard said again, fighting the urge to change her mind as the image of Mentetis appeared_. _"I mean it."

"Focus on my breathing," Liara instructed as she pressed Shepard's hand against her own heart.

"Ukulele," Shepard reminded her as she felt the asari's heartbeat.

"Hmm," Liara pressed her fingertip against Shepard's lips as their dance began. Liara would press, feel Shepard panic and pull away. _Gently_. Back and forth they seemed to sway. This was the same dance that they had on Quana and Liara was better prepared for the human's rhythm. _Gently_. This time she was more patient and understanding of the woman sitting before her. Mindful that this was not another asari that found pleasure and comfort in this type of exchange, but a human who instinctually struggled against this very unnatural act for them. _Gently_. Yes, she was mindful as her words were designed to calm her human lover and her movement tender. As a result, the joining came easier and faster because of her prior experience with Shepard. _Gently_. Pushing into the woman's mind, Liara was surprised to find the beacon's message at the front door, as if it had been placed there just for her. Beyond that, everything else was closed off. Once she had the vision, Liara was prepared to pull away but she felt something. Heard something. Something familiar. The sound of cymbals.

_Mother?_ She tried to reach out to see what it was. Was it just a memory of her mother, or a piece of her mother?

Silence.

_Mother?_ She cried out again, trying to move past the vision.

She tried to push harder, the walls solid, and behind them her mother's voice finally sounded out from the cymbals; _Liara, what did I teach you? Not all things are meant to be shared, not all things are meant to be taken. There is nothing more for you here._

_Please mother, _Liara called to her, pushing. _Please let me see you again._

_Daughter, no, _came the voice of Benezia_, You cannot take from a lover what is not yours. That is unforgivable and will make this connection no longer pure._

_But I must see you again, _Liara cried, trying harder to push past the walls. _Mother, please!_

But the walls were too strong and her mother forbade her coming any closer;_ You must not seek me or continue any further in her mind, Liara. You must leave, now. You will dishonor me if you continue in this manner. It is beneath you. Beneath who we are._

_Yes, mother, _Liara cried as she released Shepard and closed her eyes to the pain.

Shepard opened her eyes to see tears running down Liara's face, "Liara, did I hurt you?"

"No," Liara said, moving away from Shepard. "I am just tired. May we go to bed now?"

"What did you see?" Shepard asked, worried that Liara had seen part of the darkness in her.

"Please, Shepard," Liara said, placing her hand on Shepard's chest. "I just need sleep. We can talk about the vision in the morning."

"If you need to talk," Shepard said, worried that she had hurt her.

Liara did not understand what she had experienced, but she knew that her mother must have left a piece of her in Shepard. Not that she believed it was really her mother, just a shadow. _Noveria_, Liara closed her eyes as she remembered her mother's final moments. _But why, mother?_ She wondered as she looked at Shepard slip into bed. _And does she know?_

* * *

><p>Shepard sat up in bed and looked at where Liara should have been. Was it the vision that was keeping her up? Was she trying to solve its mystery? Or had Liara seen something else and now she was frightened? Frightened just like Shepard? <em>Please just let this be about the vision<em>, Shepard thought as she got out of bed and grabbed her robe. She could see the bathroom was empty and as she peeked around the door into the common area, she felt a slight panic at the way Liara was sitting and looking up at the window.

_She is trying to think of a way to leave me_, Shepard worried, as she quietly moved towards her. Liara saw movement to her left and looked over to see her robed lover coming to her. As Shepard sat down next to her, neither saying a word, Liara reached over, took Shepard's hand and then returned her gaze to the rain hitting the window.

Shepard followed Liara's gaze and looked up at the rain as she whispered, "I'm always amazed at how real that looks."

Liara said nothing as she continued to watch the falling rain.

Shepard turned away from the window and looked at Liara, "I've been thinking about something that Michelle said tonight."

Liara did not want to discuss anything that Michelle had said and so she continued to remain silent, unmoved.

"She said that you deserved someone who was open to the asari ways," Shepard said, turning to face the fireplace. "That I would never be fully comfortable with what you are and that it wasn't fair to you."

"She is wrong," Liara said, turning from the window and looking at Shepard. "And you were wrong tonight as well. I did not follow you just for the vision."

"No?" It was now Shepard's turn to look up at the rain.

Liara shifted on the couch, moving closer to Shepard, "Unless you command it, I will not leave you until you have stopped Saren."

Those words cut through Shepard, "So what we have ends when that happens?"

"What?" Liara had not meant that at all. "Once you have captured Saren, we do not know what the Council will require of you. Our responsibilities may pull us to opposite sides of the galaxy, Shepard."

Shepard knew that what Liara was saying was right. Shepard had no idea what would come next and knew that Liara had a career that would lead her on a different path. Shepard ran her hand up Liara's thigh as she tried to lighten the mood by teasing, "I can see our future now. I'm fighting some turian in sewage while you are sipping sitruuna and flirting with an asari on Thessia. How could you, Liara?"

Liara couldn't help but giggle slightly at Shepard's words, "Then you better finish that fight and come find me before she tempts me, Commander."

"Tout de suite!" Shepard laughed as Liara stood up and began to pull her back to the bedroom, "I'm thinking that capturing Saren isn't such a good plan anymore. It might take longer now, Liara. Much longer."

"No more words," Liara said, as they entered the bedroom and she removed Shepard's robe. She looked at her lover's body and ran her finger down a scar before lowering Shepard onto the bed. Shepard looked up at her, seeing the desire on the asari's face, and reached out for her as Liara crawled on top of her.

"Liara," Shepard moaned as her lover shifted slightly and began to kiss her neck, "do we have a future together?"

Liara pulled away from Shepard's neck and looked into her green eyes, "Do you want a future with me?"

Shepard closed her eyes, feeling Liara pressed against her, "I asked you first, T'Soni."

Liara brushed against Shepard's breast with her lips, gave it a slight tug with her teeth and then began to answer in her native tongue, "_Within my …_"

"No," Shepard placed a hand over her lover's mouth, "I need to understand your words tonight, Liara. Please."

Shepard removed her hand and Liara was silent as she carefully thought of a response for the human, "There are things that I feel with you that confuse me, Shepard. A hunger that I have never felt before. But the one thing that I am not confused about is that as long as you desire me, I am here for you. That as long as you want me in your life, you never have to worry about me not wanting to be there as well."

"I hope those words are true," Shepard lifted her head, kissed Liara and then whispered, "Because, God help me, I'm in love with you, Liara T'Soni."

"Elizabeth," Liara moaned softly as she began to kiss Shepard, her new hunger begging to be released and the scent of cinnamon filling the air, "You have touched me."

_Touched you?_ Shepard didn't know how to respond to that and as Liara began to kiss her deeper, moving harder against her, she wondered if the cinnamon toast potpourri was the asari's way of saying that she loved her back. _This is not ever going to be simple, is it? _

The declaration of love by Shepard touched Liara more than the human could ever know. The words of love were like precious seeds being dropped in Liara's garden. A garden that had been tended by Benezia and these seeds caused a shift in the asari's growth. This shift would have caused Liara great pain and confusion, but the Matriarch had known her daughter's uniqueness of spirit. She had carefully protected and prepared her daughter for this first romantic connection. And Shepard had been in the Matriarch's mind when she had done this on Quana.

* * *

><p>The Heels Lounge was loud, the faux window at the front set to a foggy San Francisco day, the dance floor lights festive and the club semi-packed. The Copper Goggles' <em>Corset Kill<em> played as the Arc time read 1730 and the clientele began to arrive after their day at work. Michelle had been sitting on the same stool for the past hour in the lounge, preparing herself for Shepard.

Michelle looked down at her Alliance jacket that was placed on the barstool next to her and pulled out the pack of Marlboro Red. After lighting a cigarette, she shouted, "fuck it all!" before downing another shot of tequila.

Klide, the bartender working with Viveca, poured her another drink, "Still trying to get over your ex, Michelle?"

"What?" Michelle thought of how she had acted towards Shepard at the party and shook her head, "Fuck that bitch! This is about Shepard and being a shitty friend."

"She's a shitty friend?" Klide misunderstood, refilling the shot glass. "Shepard?"

"Who the hell are you to say that?" Michelle stood up angrily, "She's the best friend you could ever have."

"Okay, okay," Klide said, trying to calm down Michelle. "I misunderstood. "

"Is everything okay?" Viveca asked, worried that Michelle might get out of hand.

"Fine," Michelle answered, sitting back down. "Can I have some Shanghai wings and a Southside Fizz?"

"Sure," Viveca answered, looking over at her bartender and whispering, "No more tequila for her."

"Okay," Klide nodded and before entering the order of wings, looked over at Michelle who was now looking towards the dance floor.

Michelle was watching a couple that was kissing and she was no longer thinking of Shepard but of the asari, Liara. She had liked her the moment that she first saw her in the lobby of the Aikaterine. There was just something about her that had attracted Michelle and now that she had spent an evening around her, she was even more hooked. _Why did the asari have to be her?_ Because of how Michelle felt about her, she had put her decade long friendship in jeopardy as she tried to subtly hit on Liara. Had Liara told Shepard what Michelle was doing after she left? This thought worried Michelle because she did not want to lose her best friend. _What were you thinking?_

She turned away from the couple, looked at the Southside Fizz now sitting in front of her and frowned. Michelle picked up the glass and looked at the drink as she remembered telling Shepard that she had been lucky in life. _Lucky? _"You have gotten everything you wanted," she had said to her best friend. "And because of how you look, you've never had to really work for anything. Do you know how lucky you are?"

"Very lucky," Shepard had said, opening the door and giving her a hug. "See you tomorrow at the Heels Lounge, girlfriend."

"Lucky? You can be such a fuckin' idiot!" Michelle told herself now as she sat waiting on Shepard. She knew that her words had been spoken out of jealousy, anger and frustration at who Shepard was now with. They were also foolish words. Michelle still had both her parents back in Tennessee, all of her siblings and had never lost any of her loved ones to a violent death. Not like Shepard. Not like lucky Shepard. Then she thought of Shepard's beauty. How many scars did Shepard have on her face and body? Unlike men, scars were not considered attractive or interesting on women. Michelle looked at her own reflection, no scars on her face like Shepard's and cursed herself again. Even Shepard's beauty was diminished by her lucky, lucky life. "She must really hate me now!"

* * *

><p>Shepard had just finished a busy day with the Alliance and before entering the lounge, she sent a quick message to Liara. The asari was spending the day with Chakwas and Grace as they shopped for baby needs and the nursery. Shepard wished that she could have Chakwas drop Liara off at her apartment when they were done but it would not look right. The asari spending every night with her on the Arc now that Shepard was alone would lead to rumors. No, Liara would sleep on the Normandy no matter how much Shepard wanted her. But even if Liara were waiting at home for her, Shepard still wouldn't see her until after midnight. She had to attend an evening party at the home of an Admiral stationed on the Arc. Hackett was going to be her escort, but she knew why she had been invited. Senator Edoardo Maestri from Rome was also going to be there and she would be expected to spend time with him. Shepard was ready to be off the Arc. Now having sent her message to Liara, Shepard stepped into the lounge ready to put her friend at ease.<p>

"Hiya, Shepard!" Viveca greeted from behind the bar. "The usual?"

"Please," Shepard smiled, as she picked up the Alliance jacket and sat next to Michelle, "Hey, girlfriend."

"Hi," Michelle said, taking her jacket and hoping that her friend didn't yell at her. "How are you?"

"Exhausted," Shepard said, putting her finger in her glass of the Southside Fizz and playing with the ice. "I have about an hour to spend with you and then I'll need to race home and change for another Alliance function."

Michelle looked at her friend, her guilt choking her and she broke down, "I'm sorry, Shepard!"

"What's this?" Shepard asked as Michelle fell into her arms.

Michelle, crying, began to blubber, "I love you … I just … I don't know what came over me."

"Liara," Shepard said, hugging her friend tighter. "She was the asari that you wanted back on Quana."

"What?" Michelle pulled away, about to lie again, but the look on Shepard's face was one of love and not anger. "When did you figure it out?"

"Are you kidding?" Shepard touched her friend's cheek, "After spending a decade with you, I know when you are lying."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Michelle asked, taking a napkin from Shepard and wiping her eyes.

"What?" Shepard laughed, "And stop your crucifying of me?"

"I was an ass, wasn't I?" Michelle groaned, still embarrassed. "Fuckin' idiot!"

"Desire makes us do a lot of crazy things," Shepard said, smiling up at Klide as she placed the tumbler of whiskey in front of her.

Michelle watched as Shepard took a drink before starting to blubber again, "I was afraid that my stupidity ... aw, fuck!"

"Stop," Shepard said, putting her drink down and grabbing her friend by the shoulders, "I forgive you, I love you and don't want to lose your friendship over this."

"Okay," Michelle said, taking a deep breath and then a drink.

"Okay," Shepard seconded, also taking a drink.

After a few minutes of silence, Michelle had to ask, "Do you really like her?"

Shepard, about to take another drink, stopped and looked at Michelle, "She's changed a part of me and I can't imagine being without her. I love her."

"I hate you," Michelle said, kissing Shepard on the lips and then downing her drink.

"You say the kindest things," Shepard laughed, finishing her own drink.

Michelle waited for Klide to deliver more drinks before she turned towards Shepard, "I guess if I'm going to lose my dream asari of the Aikaterine … fuck, I'm glad it's to you. Just promise me that if you two break up, you'll let me know ASAP."

"I promise," Shepard smiled, as she took a drink and then picked up a Shanghai wing. "Now, let's forget last night."

"Did she talk about me after I left?" Michelle couldn't help but ask.

"Talk?" Shepard looked at Michelle and grinned, "No. No talk at all. I did my starfish move and she was too busy doing all the work for us to talk."

"Starfish," Michelle covered her face, "I can't believe I said that!"

Shepard laughed, "And just for the record, I do not nor have I ever been in the starfish position in bed. Ever. Even when drunk."

"Am I forgiven, Shepard?" Michelle asked; glad to see her friend laughing.

"Of course," Shepard said, still laughing as she reached out and held Michelle's hand. "I love you, girlfriend. Just watch your step around Liara next time you two meet. I've seen her bury someone in a wall and I think she might be tempted to do that again on you."

"So she did talk about me?" Michelle asked, wanting another shot of tequila.

"No," Shepard answered, thinking about how they had touched during the early morning hours. "We discussed work and then went to bed."

"Probably for the best," Michelle said, waving over Kline. "Tequila!"

Shepard looked at Michelle and knew that their friendship would survive this little bump in the road. It had to. This was the person that helped her survive boot camp, listened to her rage after Elysium, comforted her after Manny left her, and helped keep her alive after the battle with the turian on Antibaar. Ten years of friendship filled with laughter, tears and love was too much to just let go. Those years together had made Shepard willingly play dumb at the dinner party because Michelle had earned her kindness, understanding and forgiveness. Earned it.


	111. Skylark Purchased

Pirene had received word that she needed to bring a medical doctor from Wetrot and meet a craft sitting just outside Eletania's air space. Moving through the docking corridor that attached her shuttle to the craft, her curiosity was piqued. This was an actual SK-6 Rait, a salarian spaceship designed specifically for research and recon teams from Sur'Kesh. Had the occupant been anyone else, she might have been tempted to confiscate the craft for Rahu.

"Move carefully when we get inside," Pirene instructed the medical doctor who was following her onboard. "When they are injured they can lash out."

"What?" The doctor pulled his medicine case closer to his chest.

Pirene stepped into the craft and heard a low growl coming from the left hand side. Turning in the direction of the sound, she saw the krogan battlemaster slumped in the pilot's chair, bloodied but by his growls still dangerous. Pirene motioned for the doctor to begin working on him, "I brought the doctor you requested, Wrex."

Wrex growled again, pulling off his top armor and looking at the scared doctor, "Get to work, talJok."

Pirene looked around the main cabin, salarian and krogan blood splattered about like a Pollock painting, and smiled, "Need I ask how you came into the possession of this ship?"

"I made an offer that the chatSag couldn't refuse," Wrex answered, shifting in his seat which made the doctor flinch.

"And the occupants?" Pirene bent down and picked up a salarian hand.

Wrex grunted, not wanting to discuss the former occupants of the craft anymore.

"Is she with you?" Pirene asked, looking towards the lift that would take her to the belly of the craft.

"No," Wrex answered, not surprised at her question. He felt an almost perverse pleasure over the way that the asari fell over the pup that refused them. These creatures that used their gifts to take what they wanted had found a woman who was not seduced by their appearances. She did not fall for their seductive sway, provocative touches or soothing voices and it made him proud. "I left her on the Normandy. This smuggling job was mine and the pay too good to pass up. Working with a SpecTRe can empty a pocket."

"Pity," Pirene said, sitting down in the navigator's seat as she thought about the human. "Oh, not for your empty pockets but her being absent."

"Isn't Rahu enough for you?" Wrex asked, knowing damn well that there was no one that would ever completely satisfy her. "Don't you keep your nedVes just for him?"

Pirene laughed, knowing that her old business partner understood her hunger, "Please! Have you been looking at Rahu's little wish list again?"

"Rahu believes that you are completely devoted to him," Wrex said as he closed his eyes, the doctor closing up the deep gash on his chest.

"I am," Pirene said, "He showed me another way of thinking. Healing."

Wrex opened his eyes and looked at the asari, "I'm sure he did."

"If only you could see past his outward appearance," Pirene said, thinking of the beauty inside his soul as they came together in mind and body. Rahu had once been an Endkindler preacher and while he had strayed from that religion, he held to some of the teachings and mixed them in with his more violent and power-hungry lifestyle.

Wrex could see that Pirene was deep in thought and gave her room as he looked at the doctor. The human gave a small hop as the eyes of the krogan narrowed on him, "Not … uh … much longer."

Pirene, hearing the doctor, looked over at the krogan, "So you are flying this all on your own?"

"For now," Wrex nodded and if his words were not enough, his bloody prints on the pilot console were concrete proof.

"Hmmm," Pirene wondered what job the krogan had been on. "This smuggling job, who was it for?"

"The job was confidential," Wrex answered. "You don't need to know."

"Of course," Pirene smiled, "But I'm curious, why did you need to take this ship? I mean, didn't you have one? Or was it destroyed somehow? Somewhere?"

"Pirene," Wrex's eyes narrowing again, "If you solve this mystery, be forewarned that it will require me to slit your throat."

"So why did you stop here?" Pirene asked, taking his warning and moving away from the mystery. "You could get a doctor anywhere."

Wrex nodded as he slowly sat forward, his red eyes clear despite his physical injuries and told her that he was there for business. He needed the ship's registration transferred and the ID changed, "How much would Rahu charge for this?"

"Rahu?" Pirene raised a brow at his suggestion that she only worked under the hanar. That she did not have her own side businesses, one being in the stolen spaceship industry. "What makes you think that only Rahu can help you with this?"

"How much would you require?" Wrex corrected himself.

"A salarian ship sold to a krogan?" Pirene gave a small laugh. "You flatter me, Wrex. But both you and I know that there aren't enough credits for anyone to believe that a salarian would ever sell an SK-6 to a krogan."

"Not to me," Wrex growled, pulling up Shepard's Council ID on his omni-tool, "To her."

Pirene's eyes lit up as she shifted forward in her seat, "The SpecTRe? That could work. Even if there was doubt, they would hesitate to question an agent of the Council. Hmm, interesting. But wouldn't she find out that a SK-6 was in her name?"

"The ship is for her," Wrex answered, slowly standing up so the doctor could tend to his right leg. "She needs to be unshackled from the human military."

"So she instructed you to locate a ship after your side job?" Pirene asked, looking around at the craft designed for a crew of six.

"No," Wrex answered. "But she knows that she is leashed to her human military and given time she will want to tear loose. Soon. This will give her the way."

"You did all of this for a human?" Pirene looked again at all the blood. "Why Wrex, is this human your lover?"

"_Vieg kho bomboo_," Wrex, in the old tongue of his ancestors, grunted against her question. He did not feel the slightest attraction for the human, but he was bound to her in some strange way. When he looked at her he could sometimes see that fearless little girl on Mindoir and that pup needed him. Shepard believed in him and trusted him like no one else had ever done in his long life. No one. As to the ship, he had not hunted for it, but had it placed into his lap. Placed in his lap just as he had made peace that his final breath would take place on the planet that was home to the Vota. Closing his eyes, coming to rest, he felt vibrations in the ground beneath him that were not from Vota and he reopened his eyes to see this very ship had landing not sixty feet from him, like a gift from the gods. The six salarians must have been there for research on Vota and when they saw Wrex, they had signed their own death certificates. After all, not only did he need a way off the planet, but he also could not let anyone live that knew he had been there. The battle had been quick, but the salarians had left their mark on him. Now all he wanted was to get back to Shepard with the gift that would free her from the Alliance. Free her when she was ready.

"_Vieg kho bomboo?_" Pirene laughed as she turned in her seat to look at the navigator's consoles, "I already have or don't you remember? The question is, has she? But keep that your secret, if you must."

"Business," Wrex commanded, kicking the human away from him as his anger started to rise.

"Careful, Wrex," Pirene said. "You might re-open a wound and then where would we be? Hmmm? Sit back down and let us talk as old partners, shall we?"

Wrex grunted, the human racing out of the cabin, as he dropped back into the seat, "The ship."

"I'll need her Council ID forwarded to me and what new name would you like on the ship?" Pirene asked, opening a screen on her omni-tool.

Wrex was quiet as he remembered a conversation on the Mako about the practice of giving ship's names. As the conversation moved to each member on that bumpy ride, each naming their imaginary crafts, Shepard added her choice and then went back to sharpening her knife.

"The name?" Pirene asked again.

"Skylark," Wrex answered, "And the price?"

"Price?" Pirene sat back and looked at Wrex, carefully weighing her options. Should she ask for money? No. Maybe a future favor from the battlemaster? No. Pirene knew what she wanted. She looked at Wrex and using his old language she said, "Hmmm … how about _vieg kho utree?_"

"Is that all?" Wrex asked, thinking this might be easier than he had thought.

"Oh, not from you," Pirene laughed, running a hand down her stomach. "From Shepard."

Wrex laughed at his moment of false hope and her appetite, "I can't promise you Shepard, Pirene. As you saw in the dark pool, the human does not take orders from me."

Pirene stood up and walked towards the krogan, "You don't think that I could see that? Just promise that she will know how I helped both of you in this little acquisition and that you will find an excuse for her to return to Wetrot. Once she is here, you can consider our business deal complete and paid in full."

Wrex looked up at the asari standing over him, his eyes darkening, "I make no promises."

Pirene looked down at him, her own eyes darkening as well, "And yet, you will bring her here."

"Pirene," Wrex growled, grabbing her left leg and applying a little pressure.

"You are starting to move in dangerous waters, krogan," Pirene warned as she felt his grip tighten.

"I am just following you out into those dangerous waters, asari," Wrex warned her.

"Wrex," Pirene softened her voice, "I won't hurt her or force her to do anything. If she rejects me, so be it. But you know my gifts. She will want me to _sha uni sali_."

Wrex let the asari's leg go, "No promises."

"You will," Pirene looked around once more at the cabin, "I'll send a team of cleaners up so that your gift is presentable to the human. Unless she collects salarian body parts, which I highly doubt."

"Pirene," Wrex looked at the asari, appreciating her help but unable to voice it.

"Your welcome," Pirene smiled. "Be careful out there, Wrex. Word has it that the human is making more enemies than friends. Even the information brokers are whispering that the top of their food chain wants to see her dead."

"Is that true?" Wrex asked, knowing that if Shepard was on the Shadowbroker's hit list, there would be little hope that the human would survive much longer. The head of the information world had eyes, ears and weapons everywhere. Even on the Normandy.

"That's the rumor," Pirene said, standing close to the exit. "If I get confirmation, I will send you a sign. Something that you would know would never come from me."

"And what would that be?" Wrex asked, hoping that the rumors were false.

Pirene looked at Wrex, hand on the exit, "Words of devotion, what else."

* * *

><p><em>Sweet Hitch-Hiker<em> by CCR was blasting inside apartment M14 as servicemen stumbled in and out of the residence. It was the final night of the Normandy being docked in the DB94 and the crew was making the most of their last night of freedom on the Arc. Stepping into the apartment, every room was packed with partiers. Looking around the small one bedroom apartment, it felt as if every member of the Normandy was crammed inside, along with other Arc dwellers.

In the midst of all the partying, Joker was sitting in his La-Z-Boy, Kaidan was in the kitchen with Grace and Liara was sitting on the floor across from Joker in a diamond pose. It was Kaidan and Joker that had talked Liara into coming to the party. She had wanted to continue her research into what she had seen in the beacon's message but the thought of being close to Shepard had made her give in. It had been a few days since she had been alone with Shepard and a part of her was hoping that tonight would be different. That Shepard would find her there and take her to her apartment, located just next door.

"Okay, Blueberry," Wang yelled over the music to Liara as he pushed through the crowd with another bottle of tequila, "Time to eat the worm!"

Liara wished that the human would stop calling her that ridiculous name. She had corrected him at least half a dozen times, but he continued to call her that name and so she had given up. _Humans!_ After Wang had refilled her and Joker's shot glasses, Liara picked up her shooter and then followed Joker's lead as he licked the back of his hand, poured salt on it, licked again, downed the drink and then finished by sucking on a lime. She really didn't need to watch him after the first time, but being a perfectionist she did anyway. She wanted to ensure that she did those tequila steps correct every time.

"Be careful," Kaidan yelled over at Liara from the kitchen, "that stuff is pretty strong."

Liara nodded, wondering if she should be acting different after doing four of these tequila shots. She looked at Joker and continued to follow him in behavior. If he began to act impaired, she would mirror that. But so far, he did not seem any different than when they first started doing the shots.

"Who do you think you are, old man? Her daddy?" Joker yelled over the music at Kaidan.

"Just go easy on her," Kaidan told him. "If she gets sick, Chakwas will castrate you."

"I'm not afraid of her," Joker said, lowering his hat. "Not really."

Liara looked over at Kaidan and hoped that their private talks had convinced him that he was needed. The crew looked up to him and when times were at their most stressful, Kaidan was always a calming force. Liara also knew that he would do anything to protect Shepard and that was the most important thing to her. She didn't know how long she would be on the Normandy and if she had to leave, she wanted him there. She needed him with Shepard to protect her and that need was even stronger with Wrex missing.

_Where are you, Wrex?_ Liara wondered just as she felt someone bump into her. Looking up, she saw a friend of Wang's who placed his hand on her shoulder as he bent over behind her and yelled, "Would you like to dance, Blueberry?"

"No, thank you," Liara answered in her regular voice, her words drowned out by the music. The asari did not find the way that the humans were yelling or dancing to be enjoyable, at all. But now looking at this human hand on her shoulder, she could at the least take the yelling and the jerky dancing but not this physical forwardness. It offended her.

"No?" the male moved his hand from her shoulder to her scalp crests. "Just one dance for this poor human boy?"

"Leave her alone!" Joker yelled, wishing that he was able to pop the guy on the mouth.

"Cory!" Wang yelled to his co-worker from the InNoVaTiVe Research LaB. "Blueberry is mine tonight!"

"You wish!" Cory laughed as he flipped off Joker and turned his attention back to Liara. "Look, Blueberry, you look lonely and in need of a man. A real man."

"I am not lonely," Liara moved her head back as she turned a stone face up at the human. Her translator only caught a part of what he said and she didn't understand why the human could not just accept her simple answer of no.

"C'mon, blueberry," he said, bending down and touching her neck.

Liara was starting to become angry at the way the human was touching her and was grateful when she saw the man lifted up by the collar. Kaidan had moved quickly when he saw the stranger moving in on Liara. There was something about her that brought out the protectiveness in him. He knew that she was stronger than him and better trained in biotic combat, but there was something about her socially with his kind that needed protection. Anytime that he was out in a human place with her, he was always trying to make sure that she was not placed in an uncomfortable position or taken advantage of. Now as he held up the pushy male by the collar and drug him out of the apartment, he told him, "For future reference, the asari, just like our human women, don't like to be touched until they know you and give you permission."

"I just … just …" Wang's friend, Cory, pulled away from Kaidan, "… shit, man! I just asked for a dance. It's not like I asked for a blow job! Which her kind …"

Kaidan shoved him against the wall, his arm across the man's throat, "Talk to her or touch her again and I'll break your hand."

* * *

><p>"Thank you for escorting me to the party," Shepard said to her date, Senator Edoardo Maestri, just outside her apartment's main entrance. The two had attended a cocktail party that had been thrown by the First Naval Lord in Shepard's honor.<p>

"Are you sure that I can't talk you into going to La Pergola for dessert?" Edoardo asked, "They have a Limoncello Mascarpone cake with berries that is perfection."

"That sounds tempting," Shepard smiled, "But I'm afraid that I need to get my rest. The Normandy is scheduled to leave tomorrow and I'll need to be on deck by 0600."

"It is a shame that you must leave so soon after we've met," Edoardo said, touching her scar on her right shoulder. "I am growing fond of you, _la mia bella donna_."

"But go I must," Shepard said, hoping that he would not try and talk his way into her apartment.

"Before you leave me standing alone outside your home," Edoardo said, "may I have just a few more minutes of your time?"

Shepard pulled her shawl around her bare shoulders, "Of course."

"These past few days have gone well between us," the Senator said. "If I'm being completely honest, they have been better than I had hoped. As a single man, I am often paired up with eligible females, and this is the first time that I was not suffering."

Shepard nodded, "I know the feeling. But it is a small price to pay, don't you think?"

"An unpleasant price," He smiled, taking her by the arm and walking over to a bench. "May I ask if you have ever been married?"

Shepard gave a small laugh as they sat down, "I'm sure that you have already researched my bio, Senator. There is no need for pretenses with me."

"And there is another thing that I like about you," He nodded. "Your honesty."

"Careful," Shepard said. "I wouldn't go that far. I just think that you and I don't need to put on too many false faces. You have researched me and I have done the same. Now that you know that I've never been married, you must also know that I'm not Roman Catholic and have no desire to be. So where does that leave us?"

Edoardo, a Roman Catholic, laughed, "I have no interest in marriage, Shepard. But I do have an interest in not suffering more dates with lonely women."

"Am I to take that to include me?" Shepard asked, knowing full well that he clearly desired her. "Do I look like a lonely woman?"

"You?" Edoardo shook his head. "No, you are not a lonely woman. I am sure that you have lovers hidden away."

"As do you," Shepard smiled, leaning in. "So what is rolling around in that Roman mind of yours, Senator?"

Edoardo shifted closer, "An alliance of sorts. You must know that as the first human to act as an agent to the Council, there are many people wanting you to fail."

"I would have thought they would want me to succeed," Shepard said, feigning surprise. "After all, this is an advancement for humanity."

"But sadly, not all do," He said, taking her hand. "The stage is divided between those who want equality, those who want control and those who want us to be separate. Those that would see us separate from the aliens do not want you to succeed. I would like to be your defender back on Earth. As a seat holder of Rome, I can keep you safe … at least politically."

"Safe?" Shepard shifted in her seat to better face him. "I am no longer under the authority of the Alliance, Senator. Or any Earth government."

"True," Edoardo nodded. "But your family is and once you are no longer a SpecTRe, you will be again. I just want to help."

"A politician who just wants to help?" Shepard cocked a brow, "Hmmm. I've never heard of such a thing. And tell me, helpful Senator, what would it take to gain your protection? Politically speaking, of course?"

"To start, your silence," Edoardo smiled, as he lowered the shawl on her right shoulder.

"My silence?" Shepard watched as he bent over and kissed her scar.

"Tomorrow there will be images of us released," He said, now kissing her neck. "Images that show we have a trust and that we are connected to each other."

Shepard had wondered why there had been a reporter following them and now trying to hide in the shadows. "Do you really want to tie yourself to an agent of the Council? They might think that you will take your orders from aliens, as well."

Edoardo put his hand on her stomach, "My allegiance is to Rome and the Holy Father. I do not fear that this would be questioned. Your attachment to me will show that you will have a link to my allegiance. That those who are spreading the rumor that you are no longer protecting humanity, but embracing the ways of them, their lies will be weakened."

"And when will this weakening begin?" Shepard asked, debating what she should do.

"As I said, tomorrow these images will be released and I will admit that we are a couple," Edoardo answered. "All you need to do is stay silent and not be seen in compromising positions with anyone else. I cannot be seen as a man that is cuckolded even if you are a SpecTRe."

"Cuckold?" Shepard gave a small smile. "Strange to use a word that only applies to a husband, Senator. But I understand that while you have chosen the wrong word, the meaning is understood." Shepard looked into his brown eyes as her mind raced. As a Senator from Rome, Shepard knew that he was not as gentle or as honorable as he appeared. Seats in Rome were not won by men or women with weak hearts or unbending morals. No. This man wearing Versace suits, Forzieri shoes and Acqua di Parma Colonia, while appearing crisp, tailored and refined was like her. She saw that beneath the public image, he was a ruthless man who would protect what was his and destroy what threatened it. He was a man that had not flinched from hard decisions, nor squirmed over burying a few enemies and knew how to keep secrets. Dark secrets.

"I am glad that you understand," Edoardo said, "I will also keep my affairs private in return."

"I would expect nothing less," Shepard said. "Of course, this would mean you giving up those lonely women dates. How will you survive?"

"So do we have an agreement or shall I erase the images?" Edoardo asked, leaning in closer to her.

Shepard smiled, seeing him as another chess piece to acquire and kissed him to seal the deal. As they pulled away from each other, Shepard pulled out her compact to check her lips, "Print what you want. But understand three things; you will never be in my bed, I will not be making any political statements for or against any issues back on Earth and you must know that my allegiance is to the Council now. If you do anything to move against them, you will become my enemy."

Edoardo looked at Shepard lips and agreed, "Although, I hope you understand if I say that I'll try and change your mind about that first thing."

"I have someone to satisfy me in that area," Shepard said, placing her compact back in her clutch purse and then wiping her lipstick off his lips. "But thank you for the offer."

"Invite me in tonight and you can compare," Edoardo said, as Shepard stood up. "You might find me more satisfying."

"Good night, Senator," Shepard laughed as she walked away. All she wanted now was to get a good night's rest for the midday departure of the Normandy.

* * *

><p>As Shepard reached her apartment, Dafydd's <em>Walk This Way<em> was blaring from Joker's apartment as servicemen came falling out. Seeing their Commander in the hallway, they pushed back into the apartment and closed the door. Shepard couldn't help but laugh as she entered her own apartment and turned on the lights. She was hungry, tired and wanting a nice hot bubble bath, but she also wished that Liara was there. She found herself thinking about the asari like some teenager experiencing their first crush and it embarrassed her. Opening the fridge, she grabbed her leftovers from the Thirsty Turtle and the bottle of steak sauce, "Why can't I stop thinking about you?"

Placing the container on the counter, she grabbed a bottle of wine just as her doorbell crashed. Shepard hoped that it was not the Senator trying to change her mind again and was surprised to see Kaidan when she opened the door. "Lieutenant?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, Commander," Kaidan said, "But I wanted to let you know that I've made my decision."

"Please come in," Shepard said, stepping to the side . "I was a little worried that we wouldn't talk before departure."

"I apologize for not coming to you sooner," Kaidan said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's an important decision, Kaidan," Shepard told him. "So now that we are at the final hours, what have you decided?"

"We started this together," Kaidan answered. "and I think that if I walked away now, Ash would haunt us both. So, with your permission, I would like to finish this mission and once we have stopped him, I'll put in for a transfer."

"Ash," Shepard nodded, thinking of how this all started on Eden Prime with those three working together. "It seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it? That day on Eden Prime."

"It does," Kaidan answered, hoping that she accepted his request. "And it should have finished with all three of us."

"I think that your decision is sound," Shepard said, reopening her door. "I'll see you in the morning, Kaidan."

"Thank you," Kaidan said, exiting her apartment. "I should go get Grace and Liara now. Good night, Shepard."

"Liara?" Shepard stepped out into the hallway. "Where did you leave her? You know that she cannot be left unescorted on the Arc."

"She's at Joker's," Kaidan said, looking at apartment M14 next to her. "We were about to leave when I heard that you were home."

"Why don't you have Liara come to my residence and I'll see that she gets back to the Normandy," Shepard said. "I need to know if she has any new information on what the prothean beacon transmitted."

"Yes, ma'am," Kaidan said. "But we can wait and take her back, if you want."

"No," Shepard said, wanting to spend her last night on the Arc with Liara. "You take tonight and spend it alone with Grace, Kaidan. We have no idea when we'll be back."

"Thank you," Kaidan said.

Shepard returned to her apartment and knew that she would need to tell Liara about her new arrangement with the Senator from Rome. She hoped that Liara would understand why she had done it. But she also knew that the asari had never displayed any kind of possessiveness when it came to humans. As Shepard poured herself a glass of wine, she realized that the only time she had ever seen a hint of jealousy was when it related to another asari. _Well, if I ever want to see you jealous I think I know how_, Shepard smiled as she brought the glass to her lips. Then she remembered Liara in the bathroom using her biotics and put the glass down. _No, I don't think I'll flirt with another asari just to test you. I might end up buried in a wall like that shyno_. Shepard grabbed another glass for Liara and decided that their last night would just be focused on being together. She would tell her about the arrangement after they had left the Arc. There was no rush.


	112. Sovereign's Design

_I am mine no more, I am mine no more_

_I've been bought with blood_

_I am mine no more_

* * *

><p>He could feel the cold steel against him, hear an occasional tapping somewhere off to his right and see small pinpoints of light almost shimmering to his far left. After what seemed an hour to him, he slowly began to struggle both to move and to remember where he was. After a few fruitless tries, in both cases, he was still again. Quiet. He sniffed. He could smell burned shell, sour blood and his own feces. He remembered why he was there. Shepard. She had made him doubt his plans. She had made him doubt Sovereign. Doubt himself. She would destroy everything.<p>

Sovereign had sensed his doubt and struggle with what he was doing. So the master had brought him into his walls to reassure him. To show him that he was important. That his plan would work. That this _Shepard_ was wrong. He was the key to his world's survival. He was a savior. How could he doubt what he was doing? How could he give ear to that weak and decaying flesh called Shepard? She was blind and deaf, just like those who had been harvested in the past. She had no value to those who were coming, unlike him. He had worth. Value. Purpose.

"She is blind," Saren had told himself, even as he struggled with his choices. No, Sovereign saw worth in him and now was offering to uplift him. Sovereign wanted to make him stronger. Yes. Accepting what was being offered would only strengthen their bond. Make him needed and still useful after the harvest. He would be the living example of unity between flesh and metal. He would be perfection. How could he refuse? How had he started to doubt? He blamed Shepard.

As if pulled by an unknown force, Saren had found himself in a part of Sovereign that was cavernous and cold and dark and empty. Nothing, except for a chair-like structure in the middle of the room. It was black, like Sovereign, with tubes and wiring running in and out. Had Saren been familiar with artists from Earth, the chair would have reminded him of works by H. R. Giger. Not a comforting look. But there was nothing about the insides of Sovereign that was comforting. It was not designed for the comfort of organics. There was no other seating, lighting was sparse, oxygen thin and the only sound was a rhythmic clanking somewhere out of view. As if metallic water was dripping onto the floor.

As he drew closer to the chair, it seemed to wake up. Had it been waiting for him? It lifted up another foot out of its stem and turned slightly so that he could easily step up onto it. A part of him wanted to run. A part of him said that this was his death. But those parts were too small. Too weak. It was those parts of him that needed to die. He slid into the arms of Sovereign as the chair began to slowly restrain him. This was necessary, he told himself. He would do what it takes to save even just a handful of his people.

As the chair began to push tubes into him, he found himself in that place again. Sovereign's place. Like Shepard, he had stood in that desert next to the canyon and saw those civilizations walk to their death. He had felt the hot wind against his face and heard the flags and bells and movement and the reapers. To his horror, he had seen what was coming. He had seen all those cycles walking to their doom. Civilizations that had been smarter and stronger than theirs and yet they had not survived what was coming. Their attempts to stay alive, to defeat the harvesters, to hide from the swarms, had failed. Armies had been crushed and cities toppled as if made of clay. What was coming was the perfect reset. How could there be hope?

As the chair began to tilt slightly back, the tubes moving further inside him and his nerves starting to burn, he thought of her again. Shepard. She had seen the images. She had heard the words. She had seen the same thing that he had in the beacon. How could she still have any hope left? How could she not come to the same conclusion? But she hadn't. Or at least, she had not given up hope. As he began to see a metallic grey liquid begin to fill the tubes, he wondered if he had missed something. Was it possible? Did Shepard see something that he had been blind to? Could he have missed something?

His mind began to race. _This has to be right!_ Panic began to move inside him as the tubes began to vibrate, the chair drop a foot and his body began to scream. _Is she right?_ The panic was suffocating him as he began to try and get out of the chair. He groaned just as he felt his body release its waste onto the chair and floor. The odor of his own feces offended him but the chair held him tighter. His eyes were starting to sink further in as the chair began to burn away bits of him. _No! No! No! _He saw pieces of his left arm being burned away as the chair and all its devices began transforming the turian into what Sovereign desired. And this change by Sovereign was about to be done without any type of anesthesia. Of course. Why would a machine even consider any type of fleshy pain? It was not performing surgery but a tune up of sorts. Modifications. Body work.

As pieces of him fell to the floor, like hair around a barber's chair, he fought screaming. He did not want the machine to see his weakness. His turian pride made him clutch the chair and deny that he was hurting. _There is no pain_, he told himself as he focused on a desert. That desert of lost civilizations. He focused on all those cycles past. Cycles that saw civilizations destroyed because no one within their own lifetimes was willing to sacrifice the many to save the few.

They had no one who had the wisdom to see that not everyone could get out alive. No one to make the hard choices. No one to focus on the survival of their own species. No one like him. He did that. He was willing to lose his own soul if it meant that some would survive. He focused on his own people. On Palaven. He would see that as many of his own kind were saved. That they were not forgotten. His people and culture and architecture had to survive. He did not want all of their beauty swept away. As his body began to uncontrollably shake against the restraints, he vowed that he would survive. That this suffering was needed. That he would allow his body to be torn apart if it would save his people on Palaven. His was a noble sacrifice. It had to be.

As he heard his body slapping against the metal, he continued to try and ignore the pain. He tried to not look at the burned bits of him landing on the floor. But as he heard his left arm cracking against the cold, unfeeling chair and his insides boiling, it was too much. He began to roar out in agony and then nothing. His body had become nothing but pain and his mind could not continue on as a witness. So as he passed out, the chair tearing into him, Sovereign was silent as it watched.

* * *

><p><em>I am mine no more, I am mine no more<em>

_I've been bought with blood_

_I am mine no more_

* * *

><p>He was sitting on a bench alone as he watched a group of salarians working in a field. The breeze felt wonderful against his face and he had prayed every day that this was not some cruel dream. A way to make him hope only to wake up and see that he was still collared. That fear had reared its head even more when he had been shuttled from Thessia to Erinle. He had worried that he had upset his new master and was being sold. She was different than any asari he had ever seen. Her skin and eyes were mauveine and she had a way of looking at you that made you feel completely exposed. Instead, she had come with him. His new master. Oh, she said that she was only there to help him. To heal him. That he was no longer a slave. But Baba had to belong to someone. Didn't he?<p>

Erinle was a salarian garden world that, while in its last stages of habitability, was not going down without a fight by those who lived on it. His new master had told him that those workers were ready for setbacks but that did not stop them. Despite the struggle, they would push forward and not give up. It was the perfect place for him, she said. It mirrored him. Did it? He looked out at the field hands and hoped that he could be like them. She had said that he would be whole again. Could he? He was afraid to hope that was true. He had been with masters that had dangled freedom before him. That had promised rewards for being good. Then those masters had beaten him instead. Tortured him. Only one had been kind. One. And she was dead. He was afraid to believe his new master.

But this place that saw a daily struggle was why it was chosen by her. She believed that this human needed to be reminded that life was a struggle. That through hardship, beautiful things were born. She knew that he did not trust her. Not yet. But the healer would be patient with him. She would feed both Baba and Ricky so that the young boy could grow into the man without forgetting what Baba had learned. It was not about forgetting but forgiving.

Behind the broken boy was the estate that he was now living in. It was owned by a wealthy salarian bonded to an asari and it showed. The home was now less salarian and more asari. Kilos Lakins, owner of a mining company located on Erinle, had happily let his bondmate control the estate and anything else in his world. Why not? He recognized that she could make wiser decisions, even if her pauses could frustrate him. So when he came home to find a house full of commandos, a human and an odd looking asari, he asked no questions.

Now as Ricky sat alone, watching the activity and enjoying the breeze, he was unaware of the asari that was looking at him from one of the balconies. She had travelled from Thessia to see him before she moved on to the Citadel. She wanted to make sure that he was comfortable and being managed properly. His importance to her family was growing as she had recently received new information from Councilor Tevos on Liara and Shepard. It appeared that they were becoming intimate. This had not been good news to her. Liara was still too young. She hoped that whatever Liara might do to Shepard, the health of the human's childhood friend might regain some faith in the asari.

_Liara_, Livia closed her eyes as she thought of the damage that this affair might bring to the SpecTRe. _Why did you not find some other human to savor? Why her? We have other plans for her. And you._

"Matriarch," Kata softly greeted as she stepped out onto the balcony. "I was not made aware of your visit. Is there a change in plans?"

"No," Livia smiled as she brushed her cheek against Kata's. "I was on my way to the Citadel and wanted to make sure that everything was as it should be."

"We have been welcomed quite warmly by Phintia and her bondmate," Kata said, looking over at her patient. "I believe that he will do well here."

"How is his mind?" Matriarch Livia asked, looking over at him.

"Fragile," Kata answered, her mauveine eyes never leaving him.

Kilos' bondmate, Phintia, arrived with two servants to offer refreshments to the Matriarch. Livia thanked her as she took a glass of thopevo but she wished that she and the healer could be left alone. Kilos refused the tray without turning away from Ricky.

"Can you heal him?" Livia asked, knowing that the humans were not like them. The asari did not turn away from pain. They embraced it. Pain was as treasured as pleasure. Both had meaning and value. The asari found being at the edge of despair just as important in life as being at the height of pleasure. They saw both in an equal light. Both as treasures.

"In time," Kata answered, turning to look at the Matriarch. "But I may need to close off parts of his mind."

Those words caused a small chill to run through Livia. To shut away memories was like losing parts of the body to the asari. No, it was worse. All memories and events crafted who they were. The gift of any experience was to be honored and learned from. "I do not want that."

"Nor I," Kata said. "But they are not like us. Pain can destroy them or keep them chained. There are memories that he has that have bound him. If I cannot get him to see the beauty in them, I will shut them away."

Livia looked down at her hands, feeling a sense of mourning for what he would lose. She knew that Kata would try and save what she could, but a part of her also understood that this crippled human had been severely damaged. She had stepped into his mind and saw the crumbling walls. Left with any other species he would never be who he should have been. But they could heal him. Kata could heal him.

"Has he mentioned her?" Livia asked, returning her gaze at the human.

"Only in his mind," Kata answered. "He uses her and his mother for strength. I am afraid that he will not be ready for at least four harvests from now. He and I have much work to do."

Livia nodded, "After I complete what is needed on the Citadel, I will stop here on my way home."

"Thessia," Kata closed her eyes. "I will never understand why we left the land of our mothers. We have gained nothing. And these other creatures … their pain seems to be without purpose."

"All pain has purpose," Livia said, refusing to believe that other creatures could not grow through all life experiences. "One just has to look at the heart of it to see what it is. His pain has purpose and the power to strengthen him. You must help him find it."

"His pain will kill him," Kata told her, "He is not asari. His walls cannot bear the weight. What he has not only witnessed but also participated in causes him both grief and shame. He cannot see the beauty in those things."

Livia sighed, leaning her head back to feel the breeze, "Close only what you must."

Kata nodded and returned her gaze towards Ricky.

Livia looked over at the field of workers and thought of the T'Soni plantation on Lusia. The last time that she had been there was to celebrate a harvest with her sister, Dianthe. Benezia was still a maiden then and could be seen running through the fields laughing. She was always laughing in her youth. _Benezia_, her heart dropped in memory of that glorious daughter of Thessia. She still did not understand why that strong soul was now buried in the fields of their ancestors. Why the daughter of her sister was no longer among them.

* * *

><p><em>I am mine no more, I am mine no more<em>

_I've been bought with blood_

_I am mine no more_

* * *

><p>Saren opened his eyes. How long have I been out, he wondered as he tried to breathe in deeply. The air was still too thin and the silence inside him was deafening. It had been too long since his mind had been just his. There still was no Sovereign in his mind. But why? Where had the whispers gone? Not that he wanted them back. Maybe his mind was freed after showing Sovereign that he was willing to allow this transformation. Maybe this was part of the transformation. He tried getting up again but the chair held him still. His head was also still strapped back but he could see that his left arm looked different. Wrong. It wasn't his. It wasn't turian. Then there was a large portion of his legs that had been replaced. Bits of metal and tubing were intertwined with this weak body that he had been born into. I am stronger now, he told himself. I must be. His mind was struggling with what he was looking at. Weak, soft flesh had been replaced by cold, hard metal. His own body, a proud turian body, had been disfigured by his enemy.<p>

Yes, enemy. He had never seen Sovereign as anything but an entity that could destroy all that he loved. He had always seen Sovereign as something to be beaten. He knew that he could not do this physically, so he had hoped to do this by diplomacy. By lying with the enemy. Now, lying in the chair, his body no longer that of a complete turian, his belief that he just might survive this was muted. Muted by her. His thoughts went back to the one person who had seen the same truth that he had. Shepard. What had she seen? What had he missed? Or was it that humans were just too ignorant to understand? They were, after all, a lesser race. If Shepard had been turian, or asari or salarian, maybe she would have agreed with him. Maybe she would have been intellectually able to see the truth. To understand. To grasp the obvious. Saren tried to shift in the chair but he was unable to move past an inch. The chair was unforgiving to his body and he found it discomforting. Binding.

He looked again at his body and saw the grotesqueness of his decision. He saw parts of his body on the ground beneath him as he heard his blood dripping from the chair. The tubes running into him showed a mixture of grey and blue now. Was that what perfection looked like? He focused on one of the tubes and could see the two liquids swirling around each other. _A dance of perfection_, he thought to himself. But without the whispers and his mind clear, that thought vanished as he saw the grey slowly devouring the blue. Was that what was happening to him? Had he willingly allowed Sovereign to replace him? His mind was jumbled, even without the whispers. And his fears kept bringing him back to the same questions. Back to Shepard.

_We don't have to submit to the reapers; _Shepard's words seem to bounce around his brain._ We can beat them, Saren._ Was she right? Had he given up hope too soon? He looked back at the tube and saw only grey now. The turian blood gone. Had he lost all that he was? He thought of Palaven. He thought of Desolus, his brother, who had lost his mind to the reapers' Arca Monolith. Lost his mind and then almost destroyed Palaven. Was he doing the same? Was he inside his own Arca Monolith? He closed his eyes.

"What have I done?"He heard himself ask out loud. Now it was his words that seemed to echo both in his brain and in that room. In Sovereign. In the enemy. An echo that awakened the chair. That same lack of faith that had troubled Sovereign. Saren gave a small whine as the chair clamped down tighter, cutting into him as the drilling sound started up again. As the tubes began to push deeper, the burning smell back as the drill moved closer, he realized that the transformation was not over. That there was more slicing away at his body left to be done. That there was more pain as he was stripped away and replaced by Sovereign's design. He understood in that moment of a clear mind that he had betrayed his own people. That he had damned them all without a fight.

* * *

><p><em>I am mine no more, I am mine no more<em>

_I've been bought with blood_

_I am mine no more_


	113. Flesh & Blood

Johnny Cash's _Flesh & Blood_ played low in the background, the clock blinking 03:33 as Pressly took a drink of his black coffee and looked at the image of his wife. Only two days apart and he was already missing her. Hell, he was missing her before he left. Pressly looked behind him at his bunk and knew that he should be sleeping, but his need to make sure that everything was running smoothly always robbed him from a full night's rest. In between his broken sleep, he had completed a night-time round to make sure that there were no issues and after another quick snooze was currently adding to his daily entry in the Normandy's First Officer's Log for Shepard's morning read.

Finished, he switched screens and opened his personal journal. He had kept one since he was in the Naval Academy in his youth and now as his retirement drew near, he thought he might write a book. He had seen so much, been privileged to be a part of so much history, that he wanted his son and grandson to know what he had done all those years. Pressly was not a bragging man but he hoped that maybe, just maybe, those two boys in his life might be proud of him. He did not realize that his son already was. That his son was already proudly telling his friends about his father and how he was serving with Commander Shepard.

Pressly took another drink of his coffee and began his entry.

_16/12/2183 – 0338 – Normandy SR-1_

_Second day in to our flight for the Citadel and the Commander is a little on edge. Some believe that she is just out of sorts because she left that Senator back on the Arc. I still can't believe that she is dating a politician and if I hadn't seen the pictures myself, I still wouldn't believe it. But personally I think she is worried about NFO Silas Crosby and the krogan. We have still received no word from either and this was the main topic at breakfast in her quarters. All we can do is hope and pray that the mission was successful and that they return to us, safely._

_Our breakfast was cut short when the turian entered and said that he needed to speak with her in private. She said that he could speak freely in front of me but I could see that he was not comfortable with that. So I excused myself, saying that I needed to tour the engine room, and only heard the name of Harkin as I exited. Maybe that is what has put her on edge? It's hard to tell with the Commander. She keeps so much to herself and I know that the pressures on her would choke me. _

_Whatever it is, I will do what is in my power to see that she is not burdened with menial things on the Normandy. I will –_

Pressly heard the asari cry out in the compartment next to him and he quickly moved towards her. He could not make out what she had cried, but he knew it was a sound of distress. As he opened his door, a few others had stepped out of their compartments as well, and he told them he would take care of it. He knocked on her door, ready to use the emergency access code if needed, and asked her if everything was okay. He heard her say something, but it was muffled and just as he began to punch in the code, her door slid open.

The asari was using her top bunk sheet to cover her body and apologized for disturbing him. He said that it was okay, that he was glad everything was fine and told those still in the walkway to go back to bed. As the asari shut her door, others following suit, he returned to his compartment. He looked at his empty cup of coffee and decided to refill it before he finished the entry. As he walked past the asari's compartment, empty cup in hand, he hoped that she was okay. He had not trusted her when she was first brought on board. In fact, of all the aliens on the Normandy he had trusted the asari the least in the beginning. Yes, he trusted her less than the turian, krogan or quarian. She was the child of that Matriarch, after all.

But after what she had been through, how she had protected the Commander at the restaurant, he knew that he had been wrong. And yes, he had been told about the attack on the Arc by Chakwas and Adams. It was these three that worried the most about the woman that they followed. With their experience and maturity, they understood that she needed a support system and protection to help keep her going. That she was not a god but a woman. That she was not invincible but flesh and blood just like all of them. Between the three, they planned and plotted on how to keep her safe and, most of all, protected from the Alliance brass. They also monitored her physical and mental well-being and when Shepard needed to be scolded, that fell to Chakwas. Neither man would risk the wrath of the Commander, while Chakwas almost encouraged it. She was a tough old dame and both men admired her wit, strength and intelligence. And bravery.

Pressly smiled as he thought of the doctor's courage as he began to refill his cup in the mess hall. He loved the mess hall at this time of night, although he really didn't know why. He looked over at the table where a few crewmen were sitting and playing dominoes. They were carefully laying the tiles down instead of slamming them as they would during day hours. Yes, they were quieter than they would have been during day hours. They were, after all, between the sleeper pods and Captain's Quarters and Dr. Chakwas' quarters. He smiled, that's probably why he favored the mess hall at this time of the hour.

It was quieter. It was like him, with just enough movement to accomplish an act without disrupting the waters. Pressly stood over the game, watching the dominoes being played, and then looked over at the Commander's door. What had the turian told her? And what was she worried about? He looked down at the black coffee in his cup and hoped that whatever it was, he could help.

* * *

><p>The image of Shepard kissing the unknown male was pulled up on her netpad as she chose Aspasia's <em>Xas ai Aima<em> on her iMuse. It seemed that no matter which newsfeed she looked at, this image was on its front page. The first human SpecTRe in an intimate moment with a Senator from Earth was creating waves given who they both were. She reported to the Citadel Council while he reported to the Earth Alliance and was known to be a human-centric supporter. He was public in his distrust of Earth's neighbors and supported breaking away from the Council and its laws. He stated that no other governing body had the right to slap regulations or restrictions on humanity.

Liara pulled up countless reports, articles and bios on this Senator from Rome, named Edoardo Maestri, after she had started hearing the whispers. The images had been released just a few hours after the Normandy had left the Arc and it took only a few hours after that for the whispers on the Normandy to start. Liara had been updating medical files as Chakwas performed annual physicals on a few of the crewmen when Nurse Wilma Hudson came in with the news. After receiving disapproving looks from both Chakwas and Chief Nurse Meixiang Zyu for "gossiping" about the Commander's private life, Liara caught the two women looking at the images together once the medbay was empty.

Liara saw the images and her only concern was who this person was. She would have preferred Lt. Alenko in place of this unknown person. She respected and felt close to Kaidan and knew that he sincerely cared about the Commander, just as she did. But who was this man? Would he hurt the Commander? And so began her research on this individual that Shepard was becoming not only intimate with, but more importantly publicly aligned with. Liara understood that this Senator's record and views would be placed on Shepard and that concerned Liara, especially after seeing that he was like the majority on Earth. Distrustful and wanting to be separate from their galactic neighbors.

She had not spoken to Shepard about this man but she trusted that the Commander knew what she was doing. She looked at the image again and then waved it away, knowing that she had more important things to do. The dream that had made her cry out reminded her of that. She could not remember all of it, but she did remember the last part. She remembered Shepard telling her that she needed her. That she could not do this alone. Liara knew that Shepard needed the message within the beacon translated and the mystery solved. But solving mysteries took time.

In the transfer, the vision was distorted. Blurry. The colors too overpowering at times. Then there was the language. It was unknown to her. She had transcribed what she could make out clearly and ran it through a language program but nothing came up. Nothing. Liara looked over at the time … 03:48 … she should be sleeping but that dream had made it impossible. Shepard's anger within that dream was still fresh in her mind. She had told the Commander that it was not that easy. That she had to tear down the vision bit by bit. Shepard's anger grew. Liara pulled her closer as only a lover would and promised that she would solve it.

"You must give me time, Shepard," She had almost pleaded.

But that did not please Shepard, "There is no time. You must give me the answer now."

Liara began to feel panicked as Shepard pulled away, anger distorting her features. She begged Shepard to understand. She tried to explain what must be done in order to translate the message.

Shepard shook her head, her voice growing cold, "What good are you to me if you can't do this one thing?"

As Shepard started to turn away, Liara reached out to her but was pushed away, "Please, Shepard! Give me time!"

"No, asari!" Shepard responded. "If you are blind like all the others, then your city … your world will be lost. And I don't want you! I don't need you! You are worthless to me!"

"I have tried to understand!" Liara cried out.

"You haven't tried hard enough and now your world is lost," Shepard almost laughed, as she pulled Thessia out of her pocket and crushed it.

"What have you done?" Liara cried, pulling her destroyed world from Shepard's hand.

"Exactly what you have done to all the other worlds," Shepard said, waving up at the skies where Liara saw a thousand worlds burning.

"This was not my fault!" Liara cried, falling to her knees as she tried to fix Thessia in her hands. "This was not my fault! I just needed time!"

It was these words, cried out in her birth tongue, which had woken the others. She had felt embarrassed as she heard Pressly at her door. He sounded concerned as she quickly pulled the sheet around her so that she could tell him face to face that she was okay. That everything was all right. But it wasn't. She knew that and so did Shepard. Not just the dream Shepard but the woman sleeping on the floor above her.

Liara pulled up the image of Shepard taken during the victory celebration on Elysium. While others in the picture were smiling, dancing and drinking, the soldier with blood and dirt on her face was looking off camera to her left. Hair pulled up and under a black beret, full lips turned slightly down, blood on her nose and right cheek. This was the same image that had stopped the SpecTRe Tela Vasir and both asari were attracted to the warrior's eyes. They had seen things that had darkened them. Secrets. The human had been exposed to brutality and had not flinched.

It was those darkened eyes that pulled Liara in and made her want to touch the human. To peel back the veils and see what was hidden there. But that was a mystery that would have to wait. She had to solve the beacon's message. She saw the destruction of a city, the citizens lost in shadows as they were cut down by invaders. She tried to see through the shadows, believing that she was looking at the Protheans, but the harder she tried to see them, the darker the shadows became. _Relax_, she told her mind.

She waved away the image of Shepard and focused on the images in the vision. There were maps in the vision and so she began to sketch them. There was something familiar about a few of them and she was hopeful that she might solve them before they reached the Citadel. She hoped as much because she was slightly worried that she was going to be sent away by Councilor Tevos. Would another asari be put in her place as assigned by the Councilor? Was that why she was sent that dinner invitation?

Would that be for the best? Liara knew that Shepard needed the best and another asari might be able to see the vision much more clearly than her. They might be able to understand the message. But the thought of another asari sharing time with Shepard, touching her and sharing memories made Liara's head hurt. How could she even think to leave Shepard with another of her kind? And who knew more about the Protheans than she? Okay, there were a few but she could not even entertain the thought of leaving Shepard. She rubbed her forehead; she knew that whatever was decided on the Citadel by the Councilor she would follow as any respectable asari would. But she would not think of that now. She would focus on the maps. She would prove her worth to the Commander.

* * *

><p>The Senator shifted in his seat as he opened Michael Cunningham's novel of <em>Flesh and Blood<em> in his netpad. He would be boarding his flight back to Earth in just forty minutes and needed to kill time. As he began to read, his mind strayed to his agreement with Shepard. He had known who she was for years and had expected to find some hardened and vulgar woman. But she was a pleasant surprise. Thank god. He had come to the Arc to seduce her but instead she had taken the air out of his tires and spoke truthfully to him. He was not used to that. As he watched her board the Normandy, he wished that they had more time to get to know each other. He might grow to like her. He already respected her abilities at survival. His admiration was interrupted by a message that popped up in the corner of his netpad and it made him smile.

It was a message from the United North American States Senator, Claudette T. Varus. He looked up at the muted screens in the terminal and saw his interview with Westerlund News' Khalisah Bint Sinan Al-Jilani being replayed. He gave a small laugh, knowing that the Senator wanted all the dirty details of how he managed this. She would assume that he had seduced the Commander, like so many other powerful women, and he toyed with the idea of playing along. But Shepard had been different and her words_ I have someone to satisfy me_, they challenged him. He would have this other man identified and disposed of, if needed. Nothing could come between him and his goals.

His goals? No, the goals that brought him to Shepard were greater than that. They were goals tied to humanity and their advancement within the galactic community. He looked up at Khalisah and him on split screens as the images of him and Shepard were rotated in the background. He knew that the newscaster would reach out to him after the intimate images were released. She was considered a media whore by some, who publicly pushed pro-human views while secretly sharing her bed with the asari. There was more to her than most people were aware of. But he knew. There was nothing that he did not know about potential enemies or his friends. Information was power. Khalisah, with her own network of spies, was someone he had wanted in his camp. And what he wanted, he normally got.

Edoardo had charmed the hard-hitting reporter years earlier when she had travelled to Geneva for a story. He had even bedded her on more than one occasion to further keep her in his camp. He should have bedded Shepard before she left, he told himself. He worried that she would change her mind and deny that they were now in a relationship. He needed her to honor their agreement. Senator Varus needed her to honor that agreement. There were many individuals, hidden in the shadows, which needed this public union to be true. There were changes coming and Shepard needed to be part of it. But not just part of it, she needed to be on the right side, the human side, and rallying her own people to stand against this assimilation with the aliens. Humanity could not lose all that it was and is to these outsiders.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>So the rumors based off these images are true?" Khalisah asked.

"Yes," Senator Edoardo Maestri answered. "But as I said, both Commander Shepard and I were hoping to keep our relationship private."

"Of course," Khalisah smiled_. "_Did you two discuss what her current assignment is for the Citadel Council? Rumors back home say that she is tracking a rogue Spectre named Saren Arterius."

Edoardo gave his most charming smile, "Elizab-, I mean, Commander Shepard and I did not discuss her current assignment. We spoke of more private and personal things."

"Care to share any of those _things_?" Khalisah asked.

"No," Edoardo answered, still smiling. "And now I must leave. My flight back to Geneva is waiting."

Khalisah couldn't help but smile back at him, "One last question, Senator. Do you think that Commander Shepard is still on the side of humanity or has she forgotten her people?"

The Senator's smile faded, "Commander Shepard's allegiance should never be questioned. Do not forget what this woman has been through and how many humans she has saved within her Alliance career. Have you forgotten that this woman whose honor you question received the Star of Terra for her sacrifices?"

"But, Senator, that was –" Khalisah started to defend her question but was quickly cut off.

"We should not forget Commander Shepard's heroism because she has not forgotten us, her own people. She is proudly, and might I add, with honor, representing us to the outsiders. She is showing them that we are not to be ignored and that we can perform just as bravely and with just as much skill as any of theirs. I might even say, better."

"That is all we can hope for," Khalisah said, not wanting to upset the Senator any more than she had. "Thank you, Senator Maestri, for your time. This is Khalisah Bint Sinan_al_**-**_Jilani_ with the Westerlund News."

Councilor Tevos shut off the screen, turned up Aspasia's Xas ai Aima and poured two glasses of mayngo wine. Matriarch Lidanya was seated on the couch and took a glass from her bondmate, "It has been ages since we shared the wine of pleasures."

Tevos traced the rim of the glass with her finger as she leaned back and listened to the music. The new development with Shepard filled her mind as her bondmate reached over and opened her silk robe. Shepard's face was replaced by that of the newscaster, Khalisah Bint Sinan al**-**Jilani. She had appeared almost intoxicated as she reported on the romantic relationship between the two humans. But not everyone was buying the news as truth, "She believes his words."

Lidanya, wanting to experience her mate, sighed, "Can we speak of this in the morning?"

Tevos knew who this young Senator from Rome was and why the SpecTRe's choice made the newscaster almost giddy. The Senator was an isolationist and against humans taking direction or orders from any of the _outsiders_. He had even spoken against her own people, calling them parasites and the end of humanity if they were allowed to move to Earth. "This will make many of her kind happy," Tevos smiled, her eyes still closed.

Lidanya reached over and kissed her neck, "Shall we be happy as well?"

"The images are being shown everywhere," Tevos said, ignoring her lover's touch as she thought of the humans. She understood that the humans were still struggling to accept that they were not only alone, but that they were no longer solely in control of their own destiny. That what they did outside of their own backyard was restricted. Humans, the newest species to the community was struggling with that and wanting to break off those restraints. They could not understand what type of damage they could inflict upon themselves or the community as a whole if left to their own desires.

"It appears that you had no real cause for concern," Lidanya said, giving in to the knowledge that their pleasures would be later. She could sense that her lover's thoughts were elsewhere. "It seems that the human has found her pleasures elsewhere. The words of Liara were spoken too soon."

"You believe that?" Tevos slowly opened her eyes and looked at her mate.

"You think that the images are false?" Lidanya gave a small frown.

"They are authentic," Tevos said, placing the wine glass on the table and pulling up the images. "Councilor Valern had them verified as soon as they surfaced."

"Has your SpecTRe made any comments?" Lidanya asked, placing her glass next to Tevos'.

"No," Tevos answered, pleased that her lover was controlling her own desires as they talked and not using her skills to take control. "Only the Senator has confirmed that he and Shepard is a couple."

"But still you doubt?" Lidanya asked, wanting to control her lover.

"Yes," Tevos nodded, as she pulled one of the more intimate images up. "I think that what we see is not passion but politics."

"An arranged relationship?" Lidanya almost smiled. "Do humans do that?"

Tevos leaned back again, "Sometimes."

"Can they be more enlightened than I thought?" Lidanya asked, following Tevos' lead and sitting back.

"You must learn to be kinder in spirit to these humans," Tevos said, brushing her cheek. "They are a young species that shows much promise."

Lidanya nodded, "What human has started to change your mind?"

"A few," Tevos grabbed her wine and took a sip. "I shall invite Shepard to dinner here in our home."

"Just dinner?" Lidanya wondered if her lover desired the human, as so many other of their kind did.

"Do you think that I have changed that much?" Tevos laughed. She did not find other species' tempting and her bondmate knew that.

"Have you?" Lidanya asked, pulling Tevos closer. "I have hoped to share you with another."

Tevos straddled Lidanya, "Maybe one day I will want that."

"On that day, I will be pleased to fulfill that desire," Lidanya said, kissing Tevos' stomach.

"Mine? Or yours?" Tevos teased as her thoughts returned to Shepard.

"Both," Lidanya answered, as she began to move against her lover.

Tevos pulled away from her and stood up, "Let us share after the alneu and wine."

Lidanya wanted to stay where they were but knew that her mate would not be swayed. Instead she grabbed both wine glasses and began to follow her to the alneu. "So when will this dinner be?"

Tevos stripped down in front of the shower, "I have added Liara T'Soni to the guest list for the dinner honoring Matriarch Livia on the 23rd. I may have the Commander attend the same dinner."

"Would the Matriarch approve of a human at a dinner in her honor?" Lidanya asked, putting the wine down, stripping and stepping under the water as well.

Tevos gave the question thought and then nodded, "This human, yes. I think that the Matriarch would appreciate seeing her sister's line in the presence of this human. I think that she was hoping to see them together. The Normandy is scheduled to land in eight days and the Matriarch delayed her visit so that Liara would be here when she comes. Maybe the delay was not just for Liara."

"Will she take Liara back to Thessia?" Lidanya asked.

"Does one ever know what you Matriarchs will do?" Tevos asked, lathering up.

Lidanya looked at her lover and smiled.


	114. Cold & Lozenge

"So is the scuttlebutt true?" Kaidan heard Helen Lowe ask as he stepped onto the bridge where shift change was in progress.

Kaidan stopped in his tracks, feeling all eyes now focused on him and coughed_. Dammit!_ The question had made him swallow the throat lozenge that he had been sucking on. Helen shifted on her seat as his mind raced on what the scuttlebutt might be and hoped that it wasn't about his attraction to Shepard. _Anything but that_, he thought to himself as his head began to slightly throb. That rumor that had previously taken flight had finally died, never to be uttered again. He hoped.

"Well?" Joker asked as he limped past him on his way to the lead pilot's chair. "Is it true?"

Kaidan, his throat raw and voice hoarse from a cold that he had been fighting for two days, wished that he had stayed in bed. "What current scuttlebutt would that be?"

"C'mon, Kaidan," Helen sounded tired. "Don't make me say the words."

"Someone say the words," Joker grumbled, not knowing what scuttlebutt they were talking about as he had arrived late for his shift. Yes, late. He had finally caught the current cold being shared on the Normandy. Joker looked at Helen who was adjusting her ear piece now, but before he could say another word, Lt. Robert Felawa stood up from the pilot's seat and shook his head. Joker looked around the bridge and realized that there was a dark cloud hanging in the room. Whatever it was, hell, it wasn't good.

Kaidan reached into his pocket and grabbed another lozenge as he tried to buy time to get his thoughts together. He had learned to never assume that he knew what anyone was talking about. It was safer that way and it also ensured that he never spilled the wrong beans. He had come there to deliver news but even that was not something he wanted to discuss.

Felawa, seeing Kaidan's hesitation, stepped closer as Joker took his seat and began his shift at the helm. "Kaidan, we heard that Silas was killed on the mission with the krogan."

That news had just been shared at the morning staff meeting by Shepard and before Kaidan could walk to the bridge to inform them, they knew. Kaidan was surprised how fast that news had travelled. Well, not exactly surprised. Like a cold, it was almost impossible to keep something contained in such close quarters. Kaidan thought of Henry and the two mess specialists that had been in the conference room at the time and shook his head. There were the leaks.

"Are you not allowed to say?" Helen asked as she placed a few lemon drops on her station's desktop.

"What?" Kaidan was still thinking about the two specialists who he felt had leaked the information.

"Silas?" Joker looked over at Helen, his face revealing his own surprise and confusion. "Silas is dead?"

"I'm sorry but it's true." Kaidan said, looking around the bridge. Shepard had requested that her Officers share this news with their respective areas as she drafted letters of notification to both the Alliance and NFO Silas Crosby's parents. Kaidan returned his gaze at Helen, "The Commander was notified this morning that the mission was completed but that NFO Crosby had been killed in the process. She asked that I inform the bridge personnel."

"Shit," Helen looked down at her hands and then grabbed a lemon drop.

"What about the krogan?" Felawa asked, "Did he die as well?"

"He was the one that sent the message," Kaidan answered, sensing tension on the bridge.

"What took him so long?" Joker asked, turning his chair to look at Kaidan.

"The Commander didn't say," Kaidan answered, knowing that most of the Normandy personnel did not like the krogan or his species.

"I bet that animal was the reason," Felawa said, rubbing his cheek. "That krogan would kill all of us if he could."

"He can," Joker mumbled under his breath as he pulled his hat down, returned the chair to its original position and looked at his console.

"That's not true," Helen responded to Felawa's comment. "He wouldn't harm the Commander and I don't think that he would just attack Silas. They must have run into the geth. Or something."

"Did you hear what he did on Virmire?" Joker asked as he re-adjusted his cap. "He might have killed Shepard if Ash-"

"Enough!" Kaidan almost yelled, not wanting to discuss anything that happened on Virmire. "Wrex didn't kill Silas. I admit that he still makes me nervous, but he's also saved me and countless others more than once out on the field."

"Trusting a krogan is suicide," Felawa muttered as he exited the bridge.

"It's idiocy," Joker agreed, pulling up screens and then remembered that Shepard trusted him. He took a look behind himself at the others and hoped no one had heard him.

"But I still can't see the krogan killing for no reason," Helen argued. "Especially one of us. Silas was on the same side. It had to be the geth."

"The one thing I do know," Kaidan announced, not wanting this theory of the krogan killing one of them getting back to Shepard, "Wrex did not kill Silas."

"I agree," Helen said, "… and poor Silas would not want that ugly lie being spread either."

Everyone on the bridge hoped that both Kaidan and Helen were right. Helen turned her attention to the comm. traffic in the area and Kaidan took the seat to Joker's right. Pulling up the previous shift's report for review, Kaidan thought of Shepard. She had no other information regarding the death of NFO Crosby. She had said that there had been limited information in the krogan's message, but that they would be able to question him once they landed on the Citadel. They would know soon enough how Silas met his maker.

"At least he'll miss catching this cold?" Joker said, turning on Eezo Junkie's _Lost Boy_. "His immune system was worse than mine."

Kaidan heard a few voices agree but did not join. Instead, he looked out the window, his throat raw, and silently recited a Buddhist death poem, _ill ... traveling. My dreams breaking upon ancient field._ There had been thirteen deaths total since the Normandy had taken flight. _Thirteen_. Kaidan knew that to the Tibetans, that was a holy number. If only he were more of their mind. That number did not comfort him. So he forced his thoughts to focus on reaching the Citadel. "In just thirty-two hours," he whispered to himself. They would know in thirty-two hours what had happened to one of their own. He hoped.

* * *

><p>Liara had been tending to one of the patients in the medbay when Dr. Chakwas returned from the meeting. There was only Liara and Chief Nurse Meixiang Zyu to tend to the patients as the rest of Chakwas' crew was also fighting the cold.<p>

"Any new arrivals?" Chakwas asked, placing her datapad down on her desk.

"No, doctor," Zyu answered. "We are still holding at just two."

"Good," Chakwas sighed. The cold virus that had found its way on to the Normandy had been busy and the sick were outnumbering the well. And while most were just battling a cold, there were two cases that had slipped into pneumonia and were now taking up residence in her area.

"Agreed," Zyu said, looking at the remaining beds and hoping that they were not filled. She was starting to feel a little tickle in her throat and had sneezed a few times that morning.

"Did you inform the Commander that I will need to disembark once we have docked?" Liara asked, thinking of her appointment scheduled at the Dilinaga University.

"Sorry?" Chakwas had not heard what Liara had asked. Her mind had been lost on the news of Silas' death that she was about to share with them instead.

"My appointment at the Dilinaga University?" Liara responded. "Did you inform the Commander that I would need permission to go ashore?"

"Oh," Chakwas leaned against her desk and nodded, "Yes. She has instructed Kaidan to have a pass ready so you can get by the Alliance security."

"Karin?" Zyu could see that the doctor was holding something back.

Chakwas gave a small smile as she looked at Zyu and then Liara. She knew that neither of her staff had been close to NFO Crosby, but that did not mean his death was unimportant. She looked over at their two patients, asleep, and then shared the news, simple in her delivery. Zyu said that they should prepare for any counseling needs that would follow, while Liara immediately thought of Shepard. The asari knew that the human would blame herself. She asked Chakwas how the Commander was holding up and the answer was not what she wanted to hear. Shepard was not sleeping or eating like she should be. If only she could help.

_The vision_, Liara closed her eyes. Why was she not able to interpret it? _I am missing something._ _But what?_ It was all there, but she was failing to connect the dots. She had to focus. Hopefully she could find the answers at the Dilinaga University.

A patient stirred awake, pulling Chakwas' attention away from her staff, "Pvt. Fredricks, how are you feeling?"

Liara sat down at the desk, trying to focus on something other than the Commander, when the sound of the _boatswain's_call announced that the medbay had company. The day was beginning as two crewmembers entered sniffling and Liara's thoughts moved away from Shepard.

"Why have we not found a cure yet for this?" Zyu asked no one in particular as she put down her cup of coffee.

* * *

><p>The looks told him that he was not of them, that he did not belong there and that he should leave. <em>Okatos<em>, he thought to himself as he passed by an Aviation Tech who was glaring at him. If he didn't respect Shepard, he would have challenged the human. He knew that in two steps he could subdue him. Looking around the room, he knew that not one of these humans could last five minutes against him. Not one. But that was for another time, another place. Not today. And not on Commander Shepard's ship. So he took a breath and began practicing sufōcāR, the turian way of restraining all emotion and keeping control, as he stayed on course.

"Hey, Garrus!" Satake called out as he passed by.

Garrus nodded but said nothing.

"Wow!" Satake came to a halt and looked around. "This place sure can make everyone an asshole."

"Keep moving, Pvt.," one of the CIC staff told him.

"Okay, okay," Satake waved him away and half-whispered to the turian, "Did you know that the CIC really stands for Campus of Ignorant Cunts? Or at least it should. Room full of stuck-up pricks. Well, except for her." Satake pointed to a female tech focused on her job. "She's nice. But all the rest … they think they are special. Be careful."

Garrus' mandibles twitched slightly as he nodded, "A room full of Okatos."

"Huh?" Satake looked confused.

Garrus patted him on the shoulder, "Never mind."

"Sure," Satake rubbed his head. "Well, be quick and get out, pal."

Garrus watched as Satake headed for the stairs and wished that he could follow. His time on the Normandy had seen him make a few friends down below, but not here. Not this place. The servicemen on the CIC saw him as a representative of the First Contact War and as a species that tried to enslave them. They saw him as the enemy.

"Are you lost, turian?" a voice, cold and hard, asked from behind.

Garrus turned to see one of the Combat Systems Officers glaring at him, "No."

The two stood facing each other, Garrus almost half a foot taller, "No? Funny, last time I checked the personnel log for the CIC there were no turians on it."

"One of the many shortcomings of the CIC," Garrus couldn't help but respond.

"What does that mean?" the CSO moved closer, tension getting thicker in the room.

Garrus tried to use sufōcāR to calm his anger but it was failing. He was failing. Garrus could hear his father telling him that he was too hot-headed and needed more discipline. He looked down at the pad that Shepard had asked him to deliver to Pressly and wondered if she was testing him? His mandibles twitched for the second time in the CIC. She was always testing others and Garrus was one of the few individuals on the Normandy who recognized that about her. The CSO repeated his question and Garrus wondered if the test was for him or those like this CSO?

"Is there a problem here?" Pressly stepped in between the two.

"No, sir," the CSO said, through clenched teeth. "Just ensuring that there are no unauthorized personnel in the CIC … sir."

"I see," Pressly said and he did see what was really happening. Just a few hours earlier, he had told the Commander that everyone was doing well around the aliens. He had even went so far as to say that their presence was having positive influences on the crew. Positive. Why did he have to go that far? He had not been telling the truth, but he did not want to worry her. She had enough on her plate and with the news of NFO Crosby's death … shit! A few more minutes without him there and there would have been blue and red blood in the CIC. "Well, I will take it from here, CSO."

"Yes, sir," the CSO responded and returned to his position.

"Why are you here, Garrus?" Pressly asked, leading him over to the rock.

"Shepard wanted me to give you this report," Garrus answered, stopping at the bottom of the ramp.

"Shepard?" Pressly shook his head as the turian handed him the pad.

"She said it was important," Garrus responded, handing him the pad just as the female that Satake mentioned earlier brushed past him sniffling with a cold. "She said to wait for your response and deliver back to her."

"Thank you," Pressly said and then pulled up the message as Garrus stood waiting on further instructions. Message? No. A question. _How positive?_ He looked around the CIC and almost laughed. He should have known that she saw through his lie and now she was teasing him. Granted, her teasing him could have resulted in bloodshed but it lightened his mood and he needed that. He knew that somewhere on the ship she had a smirk and it made him wish that he could return the favor. But he was a little too sober for pranks. Instead, he typed in his response, handed it back to the turian and then stepped up on the rock humming _Saddle Tramp_.

* * *

><p>"It took me a while but this should work," Tali said, pressing a button on Shepard's omni-tool. "There … finished."<p>

"So I can hack into any computer with this new program?" Shepard asked, sitting down at her table where her lunch tray was waiting. She had eaten very little at breakfast and so Henry had personally made her tray with a large bowl of Knickerbocker soup, slices of tomato and orange, Turkey pot pie, asparagus, carrots, strawberry shortcake, iced tea and water.

"Most," Tali answered, nervously wringing her hands, worried that this might disappoint the Commander. "There will be some codes that it won't be able to hack … but … I can hack those for you myself ... until I can improve the program even more."

"Sounds good," Shepard forced a smile as she poured herself a glass of water. She had finished drafting the letter to the loved ones of NFO Silas Crosby and welcomed the distraction. "By the way, I saw your scores from the range last night. Very impressive, sister."

"Thank you," Tali said, watching Shepard use her fork to let some of the heat escape from the pot pie's top crust. "I was hoping that on the next mission you might let me join."

"Hmmm," Shepard leaned back, closed her eyes as Epsly Doma began to sing about _Real Love_ from her iMuse_._ The first time that she had heard the song was at Rurik's Grocers with her dad and Ricky. They were picking up a few items for that week's backyard party and as the catchy tune began to play, the two teenagers began to dance. Pierce had started to join, flopping around playfully and that made all of them laugh. The memory brought a smile to Shepard.

"Commander?" Tali hoped that the smile wasn't Shepard's way of showing that the request was silly.

"Sorry," Shepard opened her eyes, back to the present and looked up at the quarian. "I was just remembering … well, never mind. It isn't important."

"Commander?" Liara stood at the door of Shepard's quarters. "May I have a word with you?"

"Do you mind, Tali?" Shepard asked, as she stood up. "I'll think about your request. Honest."

"Sure," Tali said and looked over at Liara. She still could not believe that the asari and the human doctor had taken such a big risk when they had performed a type of stowaway. That act would have resulted in both of them being exiled from the flotilla.

"Thank you," Shepard said as she escorted Tali to the exit. "And thank you for the updated hacking program."

"Commander?" Garrus had also just arrived behind Liara and the entrance was becoming cramped. Tali slid past Garrus as Shepard took the pad back from him and Liara moved in further. "I was also hoping to have a word with you."

"So many words," Shepard smiled, keeping him at the cabin's entry as she motioned for Liara to take a seat at her table. "You have just two minutes, Garrus. Lunch is calling."

Liara tried not to eavesdrop as Garrus spoke about some issue on the CIC, so she tried to focus on the music playing. It was an interesting human tune but she was not in the mood for its lightness and turned it off, hoping that Shepard did not mind. She then looked down at the food and leaned over and took a slice of the strawberry shortcake.

"Stop right there," Shepard said, closing the door behind her, having finished with Garrus.

"Do you not want me to touch or taste what is yours?" Liara asked, her face appearing as it did when they were being intimate.

"Excuse me?" Shepard felt herself blush at both the question and the countenance of the asari. How was it that Liara could seem so sweet and innocent one second and then seductive and almost dangerous the next?

Liara said nothing but watched Shepard move cautiously around the table. Liara remembered the images of her lover in the arms of the Senator and hoped that he would not be mentioned. There was no need.

"Are you hungry?" Shepard asked, motioning to the plate of food as she tried to regain control. They had not spoken of recent events, each focused on their respective areas, and Shepard hoped that it would still not come up. With how little privacy there was on a ship, Shepard wanted the visit to be about work and less intimate things. Even in her own quarters she was slightly cautious.

"Just curious," Liara said, sensing the human's need to lead.

"Please, sit," Shepard said as she took her own seat and looked over at her iMuse. Silent. "Hmm. That serious?"

Liara looked where Shepard's eyes were, "Not serious … I just wanted all of your attention."

Shepard smiled and then divided the turkey pot pie in two, "Here, have lunch with me. I ate a big breakfast at the staff meeting this morning and would hate to see this meal wasted."

"Shepard," Liara looked at the plate and frowned, "Dr. Chakwas said that you have not been eating as you should and that you barely ate this morning."

"Loudmouth woman," Shepard frowned. "Share my lunch anyway. I hate to see food wasted."

"No, thank you," Liara answered, seeing the stress in Shepard's tired face. "I am sorry to hear of the recent loss to the Normandy."

"Officer Crosby," Shepard rubbed her eyes, "Did you know that he was an only child?"

"If there is anything that I can do to help," Liara offered, wishing that she could touch Shepard's mind and give her some peace.

"There's nothing you can do," Shepard said, taking a deep breath. "But I would appreciate you sharing this meal with me. Please."

"If that will please you," Liara said, reaching over and touching the woman's hand. "I just wish that I could help you through all of this."

Shepard gave a squeeze to her hand and then picked up her glass of ice tea, "Help with the vision."

Liara thought of her dream just a few days prior and looked away as she heard herself say, "I need more time."

"Time," Shepard sighed as she looked over at her bed where sleep had been hard to find. "Let's hope we have that, Liara."

"Tonight listen to UttVoc, Shepard," Liara said to Shepard's profile, her lack of sleep apparent to the asari, but not her thoughts. Liara wondered what the human was thinking. "You must be rested when we land on the Citadel."

"I will," Shepard responded, turning back to face Liara with a smile. "Chakwas says that you will be leaving us once we land."

"Just temporarily," Liara smiled and hoped that her words were true. "Unless you would prefer that I stay on the Citadel."

_Always careful around each other_, Shepard thought to herself as she looked at Liara. There had been no private conversations since they had left the Arc and this was the first time that they had been alone. _What are you thinking?_ Shepard wondered as she asked, "Do you want to stay on the Citadel?"

"No," Liara answered, now focused on the mystery of the vision. "I just need to do some research at the Dilinaga University. I have a colleague there that specializes in astronomy and I am hopeful that she can identify some … charts."

"Charts?" Shepard moved forward.

"From the vision," Liara nodded.

Shepard focused and began to pull the vision to the front of her mind. Bits and pieces began to appear and she saw what Liara was talking about. "How did I miss that? Is that where these creatures live?" Liara started to say that she doubted it but Shepard shook her head, "No. Something else." Shepard listened to the words of the messenger but caught only pieces in between static. She continued to try and pull even more of the vision to the front, the voice getting louder, hooded shadows chanting, planets racing by, creatures screaming. She was starting to get lost in the vision and did not realize that her nose was bleeding and her head beginning to pound against the overload of data.

"Shepard!" Liara jumped up, grabbing a napkin off the table and applying it to Shepard's nose as she tilted her head back. "Stop!"

Shepard pushed her away as she came out of the fog, unsure of where she was for just a second, "What happened?"

"You must be careful," Liara scolded, moving next to Shepard again and re-applying the napkin. "Your mind is strong but not invincible."

"It's harder to focus on now that I've been to the other beacon," Shepard said, closing her eyes as her headache subsided with the vision.

"That makes sense," Liara said. "You only had a portion with the first beacon. Now you have the full message."

"Does that happen to you when you focus on the vision?" Shepard asked, looking up at Liara as she began to run her hand up the inside of her thigh. Being this close was making her want her in a way that she knew was inappropriate for the location.

"No," Liara answered, shifting away from Shepard's intimate touch. "I limit how much I pull forward. You must do the same."

"What must I do?" Shepard winked, reaching out and trying to pull Liara back to her. Her desire was getting stronger.

"Now is not the time or the place for pleasures," Liara scolded as she grabbed Shepard by the wrist with her free hand. The asari could sense the human's desire and wanted her to focus on what was important. The vision and how to master it.

Feeling rejected, Shepard pulled away and stood up, "You're right. Forgive my moment of weakness."

Liara, too focused on the vision to notice Shepard's hurt feelings, continued to explain the importance of controlling just how much information she focused on, "You must dissect the vision and see it in layers. Maybe if you strip a piece down to its bare minimum and once you have understood that … add another layer. You may be able to build up your mental strength to see it all in one piece."

Shepard walked over to her desk, the letter of condolences still on the screen and nodded, "I'll try."

Liara begin, "If you need me to assist-"

"No," Shepard cut her off. "I'll be fine."

"Then, shall we eat?" Liara asked, taking her place back at the table and wanting to discuss her schedule while on the Citadel.

Shepard looked over at Liara and nodded. She was too tired to stay mad or hurt or angry. Besides, Liara was right. Touching could lead to the bed and that was dangerous. Sitting down, Shepard asked how the medbay was holding up under the recent "cold" storm and then inquired if Liara was worried that she might catch "this human virus."

Liara, taking a bite into an orange slice, assured Shepard that she was, unlike humans, "immune to upper respiratory infections."

"Figures," Shepard laughed and then said half-teasingly, "I keep forgetting that you asari are perfect ... perfect in every way."

Liara did not like this kind of teasing, finding it offensive to her asari sensibility. She was, after all, part of the Corallium Circle while Shepard was just a human. No matter how close they were, she was still the daughter of Benezia. She was still an asari. Her anger, although brief, was not hidden from Shepard as her face seemed to change. The change was not only just in her facial expression but also included the asari eyes and biotic ability. A ripple of blue, slice of black and static mixed together in that bitter cocktail.

"I was just teasing," Shepard said, pushing away from the table and standing up.

Liara realized that she had let Shepard see that she was offended and felt embarrassed, "Forgive me, Commander."

"No," Shepard moved around the table and squatted down in front of Liara. "I shouldn't tease you before a meal."

Liara looked into Shepard's eyes and touched her cheek as she leaned towards her, "Was this a mistake?"

"What?" Shepard touched the hand on her cheek and whispered, "No, Liara. We just have to learn about each other and that includes the boundaries. I just wish …" Shepard gave a sigh as she stood up.

"Shepard?" Liara stood up and followed her to the desk. "What do you wish?"

Shepard picked up Liara's sketch with her left hand, "I just wish that we didn't have to keep our … whatever it is we have ... to ourselves. That it didn't matter."

"But it does matter," Liara looked at the sketch and understood even more than Shepard how their relationship could cause both of them problems if it was made public. Liara brushed against Shepard and whispered, "Elizabeth, I desire you and want only what is best for you."

Shepard, feeling Liara touching her lightly, nodded and whispered back, "That's how I feel, too. But I can't lose sight of what is most important. Even if it requires me to do things that make it appear that I don't care about you."

"I have faith in you," Liara said. "I trust that you will make the right choices, Shepard."

Shepard could not understand how Liara had so much faith in her. So much trust. She looked into the asari's blue eyes and whispered, "I just don't want you to ever think that I'm ashamed of my feelings for you. That I don't love you, Liara."

"But you are not always comfortable with how you feel," Liara said, pulling back from Shepard as she took the sketch and placed it back on the desk. "How you feel about me causes you confusion at times."

Shepard wanted to say that she was wrong, but both would know she was lying. Liara was stating the truth but did not appear hurt by it. She saw it simply as the truth. Shepard, wanting to lighten the mood, moved in close again and whispered, "There is no confusion when you kiss me."

Liara gave a small moan as she put her hands on her hips, "Then you must stay confused, for now at least. Kissing here could lead to trouble and loud noises."

"You do get quite loud," Shepard laughed as she stood like Liara. "It's quite embarrassing, Doctor."

"Hm-hm," Liara cocked a brow and lead her back to their shared meal. "We will be on the Citadel soon. You must have a proper meal and a good rest before then, Commander."


	115. The Citadel

The Citadel.

A deep space station, home to over thirteen million souls and believed to have been built by the ancient race called the Protheans. Why they had built it or what original purpose it had was unknown, but the station was massive in size and contained multiple mass relays that lead to more points of the galaxy than any other place. Some speculated that this must have been a military station while others argued that it had to have been a place of research. The station itself offered no answers.

Instead, she sat silent as her new occupants moved about her body that was similar in shape to a pentagram, what with its central ring and the five arms that extended from it. These arms had the capability of closing in and turning the station into an impenetrable cylinder if needed, but it had been agreed that she would be closed only once per calendar year to ensure that the arms were functional. The only other time that they would ever close in on the station was if it were an emergency. In all of the centuries that the station had been colonized, this had never happened and they hoped it never would.

The central ring was home to the Presidium while the five arms, called Wards, were self-contained cities that numbered its residents in the millions and still growing. The population in the central ring was much smaller at only 100,000 residents, despite the 400,000 jobs that were stationed there. Those employed there that were not fortunate enough to have a residence within the ring had to commute by way of the public rapid transit system. Those that were lucky enough to reside inside the ring were authorized to use their private shuttles. But even that was limited as the Presidium, which itself had only 10,000 residents, allowed only public transit. Rarely did anyone break the traffic laws as the punishments were severe.

The central ring was also where the main spaceports were located because it being at the center of the rotation, it was much easier to dock with. All large vessels were required to dock in the central ring where the risk of accidents were greatly diminished, while smaller crafts were required to dock on authorized spaceports scattered throughout the wards. The Citadel Control and C-Sec both agreed that at these riskier ports, if smaller crafts failed to dock properly, the damages would be minimal compared to a larger craft. Both agencies wished that they could have all in-coming crafts received in the ring but the traffic was just too heavy. If they tried to use only the main spaceports, thousands would be turned away per a 20 hour cycle, and that was unacceptable to the Council, to the businesses and to the public in general. So instead, the two agencies were left to deal with the small craft accidents that occurred almost daily. Thankfully, most of them were minor and rarely fatal.

Then there was that 13 million on the Citadel. A population not of one race but over a dozen struggling to coexist with each other. Nowhere else in the galaxy was there that many different races living together in a civilized manner and that meant a wide selection of languages, fashion, food, entertainment, religions, politics and customs. All of those things had the power to unite or divide depending on the individual and the head of Citadel Security, Executor Venari Pallin was secretly thankful that the asari, who had discovered the station in 580 BCE, lead in headcount on the station. Even if the maidens were at times part of the criminal element, the matrons were always there to calm both their young and other races. They had a gift of diplomacy that the others lacked in comparison and seemed to take the differences of other species in stride.

The salarians, who had been the second race to arrive sixty years later, were also still holding their place in regards to headcount at number two. A salarian being arrested was not a common sight on the Citadel as they tended to be a perfected Vegas mobster, burying their crimes and bodies where no one would find them. Then there was the third race that had arrived on the Citadel, the volus, a client race of the turians. The volus had watched other races slowly outnumber them, currently leaving them in spot number six of population. But that didn't matter. Next to the asari, they controlled the marketplaces, financial institutions, information brokerage houses and the entertainment businesses. The volus were gifted in all things mercantile and without them the galactic economy might have never been stabilized. They had used that to their advantage and at times colored outside of the lines, keeping the white collar crime division of C-Sec busy.

This deep space station was also considered the heart of Council space, where the seat of galactic power sat. That power, better known as the Citadel Council, was found within the Citadel Tower and was established to maintain the balance between the many races and their governments. The Council, or more accurately, the Councilors had no official authority over the independent governments, but as the final authority over Council space itself, few governments would publicly move against them. It was not uncommon to see the heads of state, business leaders and people of great importance come to the Citadel seeking an audience with the Council. A great majority of these individuals would be disappointed as they were denied access to the Citadel Tower itself. Instead, they would be pointed to their Ambassador's offices on the Presidium.

On the very rare occasion that the individual was approved to meet with the Council, they would be escorted into the Citadel Tower by a member of C-Sec. From there they would walk alone past trees, flowers, fountains, politicians, other petitioners milling about and up the stairs to the Petitioner's Stage. Beneath the stage was a meditation garden, protected by glass, and above them across the garden were the Council podiums. Looking around at the trees and beautiful fountains, it appeared peaceful and void of security, but appearances were deceiving here. Hidden throughout the area were the elite snipers of C-Sec and combat drones. The petitioner, after reaching the end of what felt more like a plank, would wait for the Ekite of the Council to present him to the three Councilors. It was also required to have your ambassador present which helped ensure that your grievance was squashed within the embassies and never submitted for Council review. You see, the Ambassadors tried to limit how often they went before the Council themselves.

Outside of the Tower, you would find a small group of individuals gathered in the hopes of stopping a Councilor on their way to the Chamber. This was useless as the Councilors entered the Tower through a highly secured tunnel that connected the meditation garden below to the prestigious Veria Suites on the other side of the lake. The Veria was home to the Councilors' private residences and each spacious apartment was designed to represent their respective home worlds and their people. The Tevos residence, shared with her bondmate, was both sensual and inviting with its alneu and gardens. Sparatus' residence, shared with his faustel and daughter, was formal with its historical pieces of turian weapons and armor taking center stage in its design. The Valern residence was slightly smaller than the other two, humid and more tropical with Sur'Kesh being its inspiration.

Traveling back to the Citadel Tower and the Council's Audience Chamber, if you went to the offices located at the right you would be entering the section that housed the management team of the Citadel Control. They were responsible for the safety, training and scheduling of the Citadel's traffic and this entry was used only by the C-Sec stationed within the tower. The main entrance was located underground, easily accessible by way of the rapid transport station.

In the center of its main lobby was an unusual Prothean piece of art that was surrounded by eight keeper stations. What did it represent? Why had it been placed there? Just like the Prothean Relay Monument down at the lake, this octahedron shaped black metal piece was just one more Prothean mystery left on the Citadel. It was not unusual to see a group of salarian scientists standing around it. Unfortunately, none of them could get close enough to investigate it because the eight keeper stations were always manned.

The keepers were the caretakers of the Citadel and had been busy maintaining the station long before the asari discovered it. It was believed that they were in charge of the master control unit, which regulated the life support and navigation systems, and that without them it would stop being operational. Believed because no one knew where the unit was, or even if one existed. The truth was that little was known about the Citadel, the core itself inaccessible and the material of the station found nowhere else. These keepers would silently move across a room to a station, seemingly unaware of the other species, or a half dozen might enter an office and begin rearranging it. No one would try and stop them from whatever activity they were involved in, because to interfere with one of these caretakers could mean prison. Harsh? Based on what limited studies could be performed, it had been determined that the Citadel would shut down without these creatures.

While most Citadel citizens had learned to ignore the caretakers, there were many who found the keepers to be unsettling as they would almost seem to appear from nowhere. They were never seen eating, sleeping and if molested in any way, they would destroy themselves. Why? And how were their numbers replenished? An extranet site, Citadel Crawlers, was filled with theories, conspiratorial at times, on what the keepers really were and what they were really doing. The site even included all the claims and rumors around Keeper-20 who was, according to this group, killing lone individuals in the deeper keeper tunnels. Then there were the protein vats that they maintained. What was really in those vats? Yes, while the greater population of the Citadel had learned to ignore these creatures, those that frequented the Citadel Crawlers site were sure that these keepers were not as helpful or as benign as they appeared.

Returning to the Council Audience Chambers, if you turned to the offices on the left you were now entering the private lobby to the Council offices themselves. Just as the private residences were designed around their lands, customs and history, so were their Council Chambers. One might even say more so as the private residences also reflected the occupants' personal tastes. These offices not only had balconies that looked out over the Presidium Lake, but they also took up complete floors so that the Councilor had room for the sizable staff required to assist them in their daily duties. The turian office had the largest staff with the salarian office running a close second, while the asari had a headcount of nearly half.

* * *

><p>A private elevator from the meditation garden was reserved for the Councilors only and entering it to start the work day was always the best part of the day for Councilor Valern. Stepping into that elevator meant that he was someone and that he mattered. This was the place that Councilor Valern felt he belonged and as he exited the elevator on the fifth floor, he adjusted his collar and took two shallow breaths. The plants, salarian stones and images of Sur'Kesh made him think of his home world, but the environment was off. He required the humidity be set at 88% both at his home and the salarian chambers, but the keepers would change it to 44%.<p>

_The keepers!_ It drove him nuts that there was nothing he could do since those creatures had carte blanche on the Citadel. They took priority even over the Councilors. "Em on uma!" He swore as he dropped his case and headed to the climate controls where the game of 88-44 began once again.

Sarra, the asari executive secretary, stepped off one of the public elevators and shook her head as she watched Valern place a few items in front of the thermostat controls. She had watched this game played every day and was on the side of the keepers, finding the 88% humidity almost unbearable at times.

Valern greeted her after finishing his building of a barricade and then entered his office that was located to the right of her desk. Sarra followed behind him and as he stopped to straighten his painting of Talat, the Sur'Kesh capital, she began to open up his messages.

"Did you see the Minars defeat the Falcons last night?" Valern asked Sarra as he turned on the Citadel News.

"I don't watch Cruor League games anymore," Sarra answered, stopping on a message and making a note on Valern's calendar.

"No?" Valern knew how much the asari loved their skyball matches.

"I only watch Fleo League games now," She answered, not looking away from the screen. "It seems cruel to play matches against the humans."

"Is it true that the humans have challenged the asari to play them in one of their sports?" Valern asked, adjusting the lights in his office.

"Yes," Sarra said, "Without our biotics … something called basketball."

"Will they do it?" Valern looked over at her.

"No," Sarra answered, deleting a message and moving to the next.

"Afraid they will lose to the humans?" Valern asked, looking up at the news.

"Afraid that we will win," Sarra answered. "Humans do not take defeat gracefully."

"I have noticed," Valern said, but both became silent as the news of an asari found murdered in the Gaeron Botanical Gardens flashed across the screen.

"Shame," Valern rubbed his forehead, "Murders have been increasing … the Executor needs to get this under control."

"There is just too many here," Sarra said, as she went back to his messages. "The Wards are becoming too congested."

"And adding these newcomers haven't helped," Valern said, still watching the screen. "I get complaints about them all the time. It's not always their fault, but it would have been better if they had just stayed away."

"Councilor," Sarra pulled up a message from Dalatrass Linron from Sur'Kesh, one of the leaders in the Salarian Union. "She is requesting a meeting this morning."

"She is requesting to put a problem on my lap," Valern said, "I have too many problems to have her add another one."

"Would you like me to say that you are in meetings all day?" Sarra asked, looking at his schedule.

"No," Valern answered, sitting down in front of his comm. center and tapping the console. "Be prepared to shuffle my schedule when she lets go of my throat."

"I will leave you to the assault," Sarra said, moving away from his desk and heading to her own.

"Sarra," Valern called out, "Find out if that asari was of importance."

"I will," Sarra answered and then exited his office, closing the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Councilor Tevos had started her day earlier than usual, but it was a good start of sorts. She had traveled to the Tayseri Ward to share the morning meal and Anskrit with Matriarch Livia in the T'Soni residence. The 6-bedroom apartment had been purchased by Livia's daughter, Vasalika, just a few years before her death and was now titled to her only daughter, Aikaterine. No T'Soni had ever lived in the residence or used it while on the Citadel, Aika preferring to lease it out instead. But since its last tenants had recently vacated the property, Livia made arrangements with Aika to have it prepared for her visit. Aika had reached out to both the leasing company and her cousins to ready the residence while she notified the family that the Matriarch was heading into non-asari space.<p>

Livia's sister's daughters, Tareina and Aglaia, arrived a few days before her so that the home would be ready with the rooms freshened up, servants hired, pantries filled and the garden trimmed. They knew that the Matriarch, like their own mother, loved performing the Anskrit in the garden and so they had her favorite flowers added. Shortly after that, Tatiaria arrived with her bondmate, Antonina Delana, and her oldest and youngest daughters, Adyna and Petrina. Aikaterine and Liqiu were scheduled to arrive later that evening, along with two additional T'Soni family members.

Tevos had not been informed that Tatiaria was visiting the Citadel and when she entered the residence to see her there it stung. As Tatiaria looked up to her see ex-lover standing in the entry way, Delana had greeted the Councilor, "We are both glad to welcome you into the T'Soni home, Councilor."

"I was not aware that you.." Tevos stopped herself, realizing that she had not said the traditional blessing when entering a home.

"No," Delana took the Councilor's hand, ignoring the breach of civility and, instead, apologized as she explained that the trip had been hastily put together when they learned that the Matriarch was traveling outside of asari space.

"I understand," Tevos looked over at Tatiaria, "May your home be a place of peace, grace and prosperity."

Tatiaria said nothing but responded with a simple smile that hid her desire to reach out and touch her former lover.

"Do you know why she has chosen to come here?" Delana asked, looking over in the direction of the garden where the Matriarch was.

"She did not tell you?" Tevos asked, turning her attention back on Delana.

"No," Delana answered.

"She did not even tell me she was leaving Thessia," Tatiaria stated, putting down the book she had been reading.

"We still would not have known if the Matriarch had not reached out to Aika about this residence," Delana added. "What is she thinking?"

Tevos touched Delana's arm with her free hand, "Do we ever understand a Matriarch?"

"True," Delana smiled, guiding the Councilor towards the garden. "The Matriarch requested that you be shown to her when you arrived."

"Ciara," Tatiaria smiled up at her as she passed by. "What is that scent you are wearing?"

"It is the new perfume by Venustas," Tevos smiled back as her heart ached. "Wyter ... does it please you?"

"Yes," Tatiaria answered, turning her attention to her bondmate, "Nina, while you out today, buy me a bottle."

"No need," Tevos said, "I will have my assistant bring over one. Venustas sent me a case as a gift for my birthday last month."

Remembering how lovely Tatiaria had looked, her compliment and that smile, Tevos' morning had been filled with pleasures, but once she was enroute to her office things had started to change. Executor Pallin called her and informed her about the murder of an influential asari in the Gaeron Botanical Gardens. Tevos requested that he forward copies of everything that he had to date to her office and once there she pulled up the images and knew exactly what the murder weapon was.

"Ardat**-**Yakshi," Tevos said almost in a reverent tone as she remembered her own personal experience with one.

"Do you need me to manage this?" Psyria had asked, pulling up the day's schedule.

Tevos looked at her day; there was so much to do on top of hearing the day's petitions and appeals, "Thank you, but I think that we need a SpecTRe for this."

"Not that human," Psyria almost seemed to spit, tired of hearing other asari talk about her.

"Shepard?" Tevos shook her head. "We need an asari not a human to track this predator. Send me a list of the asari SpecTRes who are currently on the Citadel."

"You will have that shortly," Psyria said, moving towards the door.

"And Psyria," Tevos called as she sat behind her desk.

"Councilor?" Psyria stopped at the door, slowly turning towards Tevos.

"Soften your mind to this human," Tevos instructed, pulling up a screen with vids of the crime scene. "I might need you to get closer to her … to touch her."

"I will open myself more so that I may have a better understanding of her," Psyria responded before giving a small bow of her head and exiting.

"How much more will peace require of us," Tevos sighed, as she hoped that it would not require Psyria or anyone else for that matter to seduce the human. There was something about Shepard that touched Tevos and she wanted to protect her.

"Councilor?" Damalis, one of Tevos' secretaries, had entered her office before the door could even close, "Sarra called and said that Councilor Valern needs to speak with you."

"Did she say why?" Tevos asked, as she pulled up the latest Thessia World News Channel.

"Just that it was important," Damalis answered, placing datapads down on her desk.

"Important?" Tevos made a note to have a gift basket prepared for Tatiaria before she stood up. "Hand me my robe."

* * *

><p>"Thank you for coming so quickly," Tevos had been greeted by Sarra as the private elevator opened on the fifth floor.<p>

"Can you send in a tray of refreshments?" Tevos asked, opening her robe slightly as she moved out of the cool elevator into the humid outer office.

"Of course, Councilor," Sarra thought that Tevos was the most graceful of their kind and knew that, with her mind, she would handle this current crisis to their favor.

Tevos saw the thermostat controls blocked and gave a small laugh as she walked towards Valern's office, "He will never surrender."

"Unfortunately," Sarra whispered as she waited for the Councilor to move deeper into the office before quietly shutting the doors and returning to the outer chamber.

Tevos looked around the office, admiring the plants before heading to the balcony. That was where Valern headed when he was in a panic because on his balcony, looking down at the lake, reminded him that he had control. He could face whatever crisis was in front of him or jump. Now as he felt Tevos stand next to him, he was glad that she was there, but said nothing. He was still trying to formulate how he was going to approach this crisis with her.

Tevos let him contemplate on his current crisis another few minutes and then softly asked, "What has you troubled?"

"Shepard," Valern answered, just going to the truth of the matter after all of his thinking. "She has stolen a salarian ship and killed a research team in the process."

Tevos did not speak until Valern turned to face her, "And when did she do that?"

Valern did not answer because he knew that it was untrue based on the evidence that the Dalatrass had sent him. The last communication from the Sur'Kesh research team was enough to show that she was not personally guilty as Shepard was not near their reported location when they went missing. How does one tell a Dalatrass that she is wrong? Especially Dalatrass Linron? Many called her the "Queen Bee" back on his homeworld.

"Councilor?" Tevos had known about the SK-6 Rait title under Shepard's name, receiving a copy of the registration shortly after it was entered, and was surprised that it took this long for Valern to find out.

"It's in the report," Valern answered, moving back into the office to pull it up.

Tevos followed, removing her Councilor's robe and placing it on a chair along the way, "I am interested to see the evidence of this theft as well, Councilor."

"Yes, yes," Valern stopped short of his desk. "Proof. The ship's crew has not reported in from a mission and now their ship is registered to her."

"I see," Tevos sat down and looked up at the salarian, "I think that we both know the SpecTRe was not involved."

"No," Valern looked at the asari in full agreement. "But that does not change the fact that she is now in possession of that ship or that a research team is missing."

"True," Tevos sat back as Sarra entered with a tray of refreshments as requested. "What were they researching?"

Valern waited until his secretary was finished and the two alone again before he sat down at his desk and pulled up the report and a map, "It was marked classified but it was somewhere in this area."

"I see," Tevos could see that he was not going to share what those scientists were researching. "Could it be possible that they died during their expedition and that the ship was found after the fact?"

Valern wiped the map away as he looked over at Tevos, "Highly doubtful, Councilor. And now the ship has just been docked in the Shalta Port with a krogan piloting it. Her krogan."

"Her krogan?" Tevos tilted her head slightly, "Does one ever control a krogan?"

"What?" Valern looked frustrated. "Of course not. But this krogan has been travelling with her until now."

Tevos smiled softly, "The krogan is named Wrex from the clan Urdnot. He is the off-spring of the warlord Jarrod, who was the off-spring of the great unifier Attila. Have you studied the history of the krogan?"

"History?" Valern almost seem to snort at that thought. "Brutes clashing, blood spilling … not my kind of reading."

"There is more than violence in their past," Tevos responded, as if speaking to a child. "You might find wisdom, loyalty and great sacrifice within the bindings of their history."

"The asari might wish to see value in all things," Valern responded, "even if it means distorting the view. But we salarian see what is ... not what we wish is."

"Let us not argue this morning over the krogan," Tevos responded back. "We can have that debate at another time. Let us discuss this ship, the human SpecTRe and your Dalatrass' needs."

"Yes," Valern stood up and moved towards Tevos, "Needs. Dalatrass Linron wants me to confiscate the ship and return it to its rightful owner."

"Is that all?" Tevos asked even though she knew that there was more than that.

Valern stretched his arms, "And have this Shepard arrested for crimes against my people."

"She is a SpecTRe," Tevos reminded him as she stood up. "She is under the protection of this Council."

"But that is what the Daltrass has demanded," Valern said. "She has ..."

"That will not happen," Tevos interrupted. "She is an agent of the Council and if she claimed that craft, it was with our authorization."

"Yes, yes," Valern knew that Tevos was right and did not want to ever see the Council bow to any government, even his own. That would quickly knock the balance off its center and open the Council to having governments control it.

Tevos walked out on the balcony, understanding the spot that her peer was in, but unwilling to watch one of their agents be sacrificed to appease a government. As she watched the citizens move about below her, she wondered why the krogan was no longer with Shepard and how he had come into possession of the ship. The SpecTRe was scheduled to arrive that very day on the Citadel but Tevos would not be able to see her in private for at least a few days. Would the human even answer her questions honestly? Valern cleared his throat as he returned to his desk, bringing her mind back to the current issue, the Dalatrass.

"Tevos," Valern called out. "What if we confiscated the ship and detained the krogan? I could inform the Dalatrass that Shepard was unaware of what had happened."

"It might work," Tevos said, moving back inside and picking up her robe off the chair as she passed by it, "but Shepard may not agree to that."

"She must," Valern said, unable to see a way out where everyone was satisfied.

Tevos put her robe on, walked over to Valern and looked down at him, "You and I both know that there is a shift in the wind, a storm that is coming. Somehow this human is in the middle of it and may be the only one capable to stop it."

Valern nodded. There were too many reports coming in from his recon teams about the geth movements and even more. Odd behaviors reported here and there. Something told him that the geth moving outside the veil was just the start of something more dark and sinister.

"Shepard must stay focused on her mission," Tevos continued. "I will speak with her on this matter, but if she chooses to keep this ship and protect the krogan … Valern, we must support her."

Valen understood but "the Dalatrass-"

"Must accept what we decide," Tevos cut him off. "The Dalatrass Linron does not dictate what the Council authorizes or approves. She also has no claim or right to demand anything of us or an agent of ours."

Valern slumped down into his chair, defeated.

"Valern," Tevos' voice softened as she reached over and touched his hand. "Whatever decision is made, we will communicate it so that no one feels diminished. I promise. But first, let me speak with the SpecTRe before we make any decisions."

"Yes," Valern seemed to relax under the touch and promise given by Tevos. He knew that her words could be trusted and that if she spoke with the Dalatrass, all would work out. The asari Councilor was gifted that way.


	116. The Wards

**_Aroch Ward _–**

Originally named Shalta Ward, this was the first arm that was colonized and now one of the most congested. It was also one of only two wards that had any type of housing for the less desirable races such as the krogan and quarians, along with a higher crime rate to go with it. Coincidence? Many believed it wasn't but others pointed to the type of industry that the ward housed; Warehouses, distilleries, the Citadel prison, manufacturing plants, shipping ports. It was the equivalent of an industrial and shipyard city with underground gambling, deviant sex shops, red sand houses and scrounge shops that focused on stolen objects thrown in the mix.

Shepard was not completely unaware of each wards reputation, but she was far from being an expert. She knew enough of the Citadel to get from point A to point B, just as most of the Alliance personnel landing there. She figured that Wrex chose the Aroch Ward because it was more accepting of the krogan. Sitting slightly forward in the shuttle, pressed against the door and looking out the window at the city passing by, she still could not get over how big the Citadel station was. It made her think of the Grand Canyon back on Earth. You could never really appreciate the size or beauty of either until you stood before them and saw them in person. As the Citadel Maximum Security Prison came into view, she heard Kaidan ask no one in particular, "That place is huge … I wonder how many prisoners it can hold."

Normally, Shepard would chime in with a guess, but her mind was somewhere else. It was on an asari. She had been surprised to see that Liara had placed her _intent to disembark_ on the schedule just two hours before they were docked. Liara had said nothing about this at breakfast or notified her first before the post and that hurt her feelings which led to anger. Not anger at Liara but at herself. Why did it matter so much to her? Why did she not feel secure? Why did she feel so possessive? Shepard knew that the asari needed their freedom and that trying to keep Liara close would only cause them problems. Looking over at the prison, Shepard was aware that if Liara tried to do the same to her it would be no less of an issue. But seeing her luggage carried through the CIC by Pvt. Satake, Shepard standing on the rock as it passed by, forced her to turn away, jaw clenched and fear rising. Was the asari leaving for good? Why hadn't she told her?

"According to this," Girard could be heard to answer after a few minutes, "the Citadel prison can hold up to 3,000 but is currently at 2,000 approximate."

Kaidan looked over at him. "Is crime that low on the Citadel?"

Girard pulled up another screen, "Ah, they transfer those with longer sentences to a prison located on … Nepmos."

"That's where we assisted Lt. Durand," Kaidan said to Shepard. "Remember, Shepard?"

"Ugly planet," Shepard nodded, glad to be thinking of something other than Liara, if only for a second. But then she was back to when they were docked, the aerobridge secure and opened, and the asari moving quickly through the CIC towards it. She had not even looked at Shepard as she rushed by her. A part of Shepard wanted to reach out and stop her, ask her where she was going, but this was not the time or place. What if this was the end? "Shit."

"Commander?" Girard shifted closer. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Shepard sat up and adjusted her collar. "Just getting used to this damn uniform."

Girard reached over to help with the collar as he commented on how the NFO uniform looked "all wrong" on her.

"You don't like it?" Shepard asked, trying to appear relaxed as she teased, "Shall I take it off?"

Both men laughed as Shepard turned her attention back to the city. But instead of her thoughts also returning to the asari, they went to a krogan. Her krogan. Wrex had sent a message for Shepard to meet him on the Shalta Port and when she asked why he could not just report in to the Normandy, he repeated his directions. Fine.

As the Normandy docked, Shepard pulled up a visual on the port and saw the press, well-wishers and Ambassador Udina's Executive Assistant, Antun Obradovićo, waiting for her to exit, Shepard needed to get through the crowd undetected. But how? Shepard borrowed one of Talitha Draven's uniforms and chose Kaidan and Girard to join her in the adventure. The two men were not sure that she would be able to succeed, after all, Shepard wasn't exactly a wallflower in the looks or personality department, but she just laughed, "Watch and learn, boys."

When she stepped out of her cabin in a Naval Flight Officer uniform and the crew learned of what she was about to attempt, a betting pool was started. A pool that she joined in and placed against herself, reasoning that it would mean no matter what happened she would win either way. When Pressly said that it also meant that she would lose either way, she gave a playful glare and scolded him for the negative vibes. The game was heightened as those that had bet against her were heard coughing the name "Shepard" as she passed through the port, while those betting for her were quick to hide her from view. This only made the exercise of blending in more exciting to Shepard. Once she was at the customs counter, the Agent scanned her prints and as her Alliance ID came up, Shepard put her index finger against her lips.

The Alliance Custom Agent looked at the name, the crowd waiting and smiled, "Welcome to the Citadel, NFO Jones."

"Thank you," Shepard answered, patting his shoulder. "I hear that some of the crew and possibly Commander Shepard will be letting off steam at the Flux. If you and a few friends are interested in joining them contact Lt. Alenko here for the details."

"Do you think that the Commander would dance with me?" The Agent almost shyly asked.

"She'd be honored," Shepard said as Kaidan took the Agent's information down and Girard led her out of the port.

"I really thought the customs agent was going to say your name," Kaidan had said as they exited the spaceport and grabbed a shuttle.

"You must learn to have more faith in me," Shepard winked at him.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Kithoi Ward <em>–**

This arm, inhabited primarily by asari, volus, salarians, alnitaks and hanar, was home to the Council Central Archives, Taralos Amphitheater, Edroki Plaza, Larathos Institution and Kithoi Point. It was considered the second most desired ward, falling just below the Tayseri Ward, on the Citadel. This was the ward that housed the wealthiest of salarians and volus and contained many of their high-end shops that focused primarily on their needs and desires. The wealthiest turians were also found here but their populace was so lean that just a few sections had restaurants and shops catering exclusively to them.

While temporarily living on the Citadel, Liara had discovered an asari designer named Agaue that had a shop in this ward. It was located just a few kilometers from the Council Central Archives and with Councilor Tevos holding a gathering in honor of the Matriarch Livia, this gave Liara an excuse to revisit the shop. While Agaue focused more on alnitaks fashion, Liara loved her head bands which were unique in both color and design. There was one head band that looked almost Prothean with green stones from Asteria that reminded her of Shepard's eyes. She had put off purchasing it when she first saw it because of the price, but if it was still there, Liara told herself that she would buy it and wear it at the party. But first she had research to do.

Liara had a full day ahead of her with limited time open before she was expected at the T'Soni residence in the Tayseri Ward. She had almost raced from the Normandy after instructing Satake on where to have her luggage delivered and that had placed her ahead of schedule by twenty minutes at the Archive. The receptionist seemed confused when Liara arrived and left her waiting for almost all of that extra time as she searched for the Curator. That time lost was spent admiring the detail in the small replica of the Citadel above the room and also checking her messages, sending responses as needed. Sibila had sent her an update on her life now that she had returned to Illium and also that her mother, Tatiaria, was upset that Matriarch Livia had not informed her that she was leaving asari space. Liara was also concerned by the Matriarch's decision and hoped that it had nothing to do with her or Shepard. That worry faded fast as she felt that neither her nor Shepard deserved that kind of attention from a Matriarch. As she began to draft a response to her cousin, she was interrupted.

"Welcome to the Archives, Dr. T'Soni," Curator Ladas greeted as Liara stopped what she was doing and stood up. "Please excuse the delay but not all of the approvals had been received for your research request."

"I understand," Liara said, following the Curator to an elevator. "The approvals include the downloading of materials as needed, is that correct?"

"Of course," Ladas answered, choosing the floor that contained the Historical Map &_ Chart Collection_. "But you must register with the Archives what you download. No exceptions."

As the elevator moved upward, Liara thought of Shepard and hoped that her meeting with Wrex was going well. With the possibility of Liara not returning to the Normandy, she was glad to know that the krogan was there to watch over the Commander. There was still so much that Shepard did not know about the galaxy, like all the other humans, and Liara knew that Wrex could help her navigate those dark waters.

"Here we are," Ladas said, the elevator coming to a stop and the doors opening.

"Do you also have bathymetric charts from Trategos?" Liara asked, as they stepped out of the elevator into a room that looked more like an observatory than a study hall.

"If it has been mapped or charted it will be here," Ladas answered, showing Liara to a table.

"And all the charts and maps are downloaded?" Liara asked, pulling up the screen.

"Everything that has been received at the Council Central Archive has been verified, recorded and carefully preserved," Ladas answered, watching as Liara carefully pulled out her own sketches of what she had seen in the vision.

"Than that should make this much easier," Liara said more to herself.

"If you need anything," the Curator motioned towards an asari sitting behind a desk, "please let the researcher Sina know. She will also enter the charts and maps that you download and can help research if needed."

"Thank you," Liara wanted nothing more than to be left alone now. Time was limited. Looking at her map, she knew that it was going to be a long shot finding a match but she was hopeful. Having received permission from Councilor Tevos to the Archive while she was on the Citadel was more than she could have asked for. Okay, Liara did wish that she could also see the rest of the Council Central Archives but this would have to do for now. No matter how many hours, days, weeks, this might take; Liara was going to spend all of her spare time within this dome-shaped room.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Bachjret Ward <em>–**

This arm was considered just one step above the Aroch Ward and was where most humans found themselves residing after moving to the Citadel. There was even a neighborhood called the Earthlink District that not only had the Terra Cinema but also human-exclusive restaurants, shops, nightclubs and housing. Terra Firma had offices across the pedway from the Alliance and just a few doors down was the Cultural Learning Center where humans could attend free classes, funded by the Council, which focused on alien cultures and languages. Humans were still trying to understand and assimilate and the Council was trying to help. The ward, like the Aroch, had housing for the lesser races as well as the newcomers. The crime rate might have been as bad as the Aroch Ward, but C-Sec had more officers here to ensure that the humans were protected. There were races that were resentful of this new kind of species and part of that resentment was a perceived special favors. Many believed that the Council had allowed them to do things that other races were forbidden to do and these beliefs were strongest with those that supported the batarian race. The humans were also still bitter over the First Contact War and some were known to try and put turians in their place, especially after a few too many. Some of these clashes saw humans being hospitalized but, thankfully, there had been no deaths reported. That isn't to say no human was killed as many believed that any deaths were covered up by C-Sec per instructions by the Council.

Looking around at the shops, eateries and pedways in this Ward, it felt good to Garrus. He was home. His apartment was just a block away from where he was standing but before he could sit down in his favorite chair, he needed to take care of something first. _Hmmm._ His eyes turned toward the Terra Cinema to see what they were currently showing ... _The Searchers starring John Wayne_. He wished that he had time to sneak in and watch that film, but it would also have to wait as he looked across the street at the Garbage Grinder. The eatery catered to humans with its burgers, sandwiches, fries and malts, but it was not exclusive to humans like the tapas bar next to it. The co-owners, a human that went by the name RayGun Reilly and a krogan named Krill, welcomed anyone with coin. Rumor had it that these two used to be DJ's on Omega at the club Afterlife until they played a song by C-Note Human Boy called _Blue Ass Bounce. _A few salarians that were on Omega said that the song so enraged the Afterlife owner that the duo barely escaped with their life and found their way to the Citadel by way of Wetrot. True? No one knew because neither Reilly or Krill were talking.

As Garrus entered the small eatery, Krill was flipping burgers and yelling at Reilly that the music was too low, but Reilly just shook his head as he wiped down tables. The eatery was half-filled, all of them humans, but Harkin was easily spotted sitting at the counter. He was yelling at the waitress for more coffee as he lit a cigarette and turned on the barstool to face Garrus.

"Well, it's about damn time," Harkin said, pushing his plate away from him.

"We just landed," Garrus responded, moving through the small room, booths to his right and counter on his left. He had taken a quick glance around the room, noting that at the back of the joint were two human C-Sec officers having their lunch, an old woman eating alone and a drunk passed out at a table full of food.

"Just?" Harkin bit down on his cigarette. "You docked over an hour ago. Shit!"

"Excuse me," Reilly took Harkin's plate and looked at Garrus and said, apologetically, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind of food here. But if you-"

"I'm not here to eat," Garrus interrupted the human. "I'm just stopping in for a few minutes."

"Take your time," Reilly said, always a little nervous around turians because they reminded him of cats and he hated cats. Evil creatures if you asked him.

"Seats are filled by customers alone!" Krill warned, slamming down his spatula on the grill. "You order something or get out, turian!"

"Order of onion rings, you say?" Reilly half-smiled at the turian as he moved away.

Garrus nodded, taking a seat next to Harkin. He was not there to fight a krogan but to see the letter that was received by Harkin. Shepard had planned on being there as well but the reappearance of another krogan had changed her plans. She told Garrus to take care of this issue without her, if he could.

"Here," Harkin slid the letter over to him before taking a drink of his coffee.

"Are you sure that this is legitimate?" Garrus asked, determined to solve this problem without Shepard.

"Yes," Harkin said, coffee cup just inches from his mouth.

"How?" Garrus did not want to be chasing lies.

Harkin put down his cup, clearly disgusted at Garrus' question, "What do you think I've been doing while you had your nose up Shepard's ass?"

Garrus fought the urge to knock Harkin off his stool, "What did you find out?"

"The source is a retired turian General," Harkin answered, "Dumb fuck was dumped by the Consort and he's trying to destroy her reputation."

Garrus did not have to ask which General, "Septimus."

Harkin gave a grunt as he took another drink of his coffee, "As much as he spends his time getting drunk in Chora's Den and moaning her name ... I'm surprised he's had time to spread the lie that she's been sharing client secrets."

"This letter says that the person has been claiming to know secrets on Shepard," Garrus said.

"I've heard nothing on Shepard yet," Harkin answered, as Reilly placed the plate of onion rings in front of the turian.

"Are you sure?" Garrus did not want anything added to Shepard's plate.

"So far it's only been information on some elcor diplomat and a salarian business owner," Harkin responded. "But if that letter says that information about Shepard is going to be released under her name … it's coming."

"How do _they_ know?" Garrus, always skeptical, pushed.

"How do the asari know anything?" Harkin responded, adding whiskey to his half empty coffee cup.

"Asari?" This caught Garrus off-guard. "I thought you didn't know who sent you this letter."

Harkin thought of the night the letter appeared and rubbed his pants above his cock, "They delivered it with an asari side dish … I don't know who they are, but I do know what they are. I think they wanted me to know so that I took this serious."

Garrus thought of the General and was disgusted that a leader like Septimus could lower himself this way, "Why give this information to you and not C-Sec?"

Harkin thought of a night after his family had left the Citadel and him. He had gone to a cheap whorehouse in the Aroch Ward and was surprised when he saw Sha'ira appear from a back room. Why she had been there, he did not know, but when she saw him she took compassion on the lost soul. He had spent that night with her crying as she held him. She accepted no money before she left him and he had never seen her again. "Maybe they don't trust C-Sec ... and I owe her."

"You owe her?" Garrus could not see the Consort spending any time with Harkin for any reason. Sha'ira was not only too expensive for their pay grade, but she was also selective on who she accepted as a client. She was known for rejecting even persons of influence on occasion, without any stated reason. Harkin was not the type of person that would even meet the minimum requirement. Hell she had never accepted an appointment by Garrus either; instead he was a client of the acolyte Nelyna.

Harkin lit up another cigarette and looked at the clock, "It was a long time ago … but, yeah, I owe her. That's all you need to know. So will you help me or do we see what your turian General has on Shepard?"

"I'll talk with Shepard and get back with you," Garrus answered, standing up and throwing a few chits down. "You got the bill?"

"You always were a cheap bastard!" Harkin groused as he pulled the plate of onion rings over to himself. "Don't take too long or we may find out what this turian fuck has on your precious girlfriend."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Tayseri Ward <em>–**

Considered the arm of the asari and home to the Gaeron Botanical Gardens, Dilinaga Concert Hall, Tayseri port, Cruor League Lounge, Sava Skyball Dome, Epinnesse Theatre and the Dilinaga University. Because all of the real estate on the Tayseri Ward was owned by asari and the only non-asari that lived here were companions of an asari, many just referred to this ward as the Thessian Arm. That was cemented with it being named after a member of the Corallium Circle, Annasa Tayseri, who was also the first asari Councilor. Members of her line still resided on the ward and owned two of the most prestigious residences found on the Citadel. If you took a shuttle through this section, it was easy to see that this city was completely managed by the asari; gardens, fountains, sitruuna houses, waterways, public alneus and an opulent temple to the Goddess Athame.

The T'Soni resident was located next to the Gaeron Botanical Gardens and just a stone throw away from the Actyly Alneu. Matriarch Livia stood out in the private garden of her temporary Citadel residence and listened as the movers placed a Pyramid Mahogany Fazioli piano in the smaller living area. The main living area already had a Messonian Aggeria Byza onai that had belonged to Aikaterine's mother and was the jewel of the home. A sculpture of Vasalika was placed in the garden next to the privacy wall that butted up to the Gaeron Botanical Gardens and while both gardens were not as beautiful as those found on Thessia, they were enchanting all the same. The private garden of the residence mirrored the public garden and contained flowers primarily from Thessia and Cyone. Sitting down on a stone bench, the fragrances from the Armali flowers were just what Livia needed as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The image of her own mother, Lyrisa, danced before her and soon it was joined by her sisters, Marietta and Dianthe. Livia would have gladly embraced sleep to be with her mother and sisters once again but the T'Soni line still needed her.

Without her sister's daughter, Benezia, there was no one within the family that had the wisdom to step into the role as Grameno. The next in line was her other sister Marietta's oldest daughter, Tareina. But she had never impressed Livia with her wisdom or carriage. Well, that was not completely true and Livia knew that. Tariena was committed to the family name, a respected artist, gifted in her touch and close to all of her cousins. She was also quick to defend Livia's granddaughter, Aikaterine, when her relationship with a human was being criticized within the Circle. There were many positive things about Tareina, but she was not Benezia and never would be. That was the problem.

Livia opened her eyes, her cheeks damp from her tears and hoped that her dreams were wrong. Dreams of black water, sitruuna fields barren, Armali on fire and her mother, Lyrisa, pointing towards the sky as she cried, "The harvest is coming!" That memory of her mother, drenched in dirt and blood, made her recite a prayer of protection before she looked up at the lights of the city. _It was nothing but a dream._ She pulled her thoughts away from the memory and focused on what was best for her sisters. Livia had been on the Citadel for just forty-six hours and in that time she had toured the Tayseri Ward where her touch and wisdom had been needed. The crowds of maidens and matrons that had gathered were not there just because she was a Matriarch outside of asari space. Livia was a Matriarch born of the Circle, a daughter of Justicar Cerelia whose bloodline was soaked in the history of their homeland. She was also an Arci, what the asari called their own who had reached a millennium. By that age, all of her gifts would have been revealed and mastered; her internal touch would be under her complete control now and her vision clear.

_So much pain here_, she had thought as she remembered how many had surrounded her after she landed in the Tayseri port. She was grateful that she had spent the flight in mediation as she prepared to put the needs of others above her own. _The needs._ There had been so many daughters seeking her wisdom that Councilor Tevos had to be escorted through the crowd by C-Sec just to welcome her. _The desperation._ There had been so many seeking her touch of mind that she was reminded of the connection that separated her people from others. _The hunger._ With each new discovery of an alien race, the asari were always hoping to find another species that understood what it meant to join on a deeper level. A true union of the inner self with another race. But the asari had yet to meet a species that understood them. A species that made them feel that they were not so alone.

Psyria, Councilor Tevos' assistant, had arrived shortly after the piano was delivered with a few gifts to welcome the Matriarch and was nervous being in the presence of an Arci. The Matriarch had requested her presence and Psyria knew that Matriarch Livia could help identify and strengthen the gifts inside her. Is that why she was here? Had Councilor Tevos request that the Arci pull out her gifts? Accelerate them? Or was it a chance to become an acolyte? That would mean returning home to Thessia. _Home._ Psyria longed to return home and never think of these other creatures again. She hated being on the Citadel and when she allowed the turian Councilor to touch her, his arrogance and ignorance sickened her. Going home would free her from all of that.

Matriarch Livia could feel the love, hopes and desire as Psyria entered the garden. There was so much promise in her people and as her spirit brushed against Psyria she smiled. _A hunter_, Livia thought as Psyria moved closer, _undisciplined in centuries, focus is still blurry and some gifts still hidden, but promising, very promising. We should bring her home for more training when the time is right._

"Bewitched by her radiance, we spread our minds open to receive," Psyria recited the words of the Matriarch Dilinaga as she bent her head.

"Thank you, daughter of Thessia," Livia responded, placing her hands palm up to Psyria, who bent down to kiss them.

"It is with great honor that we welcome you to the Citadel," Psyria finished after kissing the palms.

"Grameno," Adyna interrupted the two, "Aika and her human have arrived."

"And Liara?" Livia asked, standing up.

"Tatiaria says that she is on her way now," Adyna answered. "The evening tray is being prepared as well."

"It may not be served until Liara is here," Livia instructed. "Please also tell Aika that I will need to speak in private to her and Liqui this evening."

Adyna looked at Psyria and back at Livia, "Yes, Grameno. Shall we also prepare a place for your guest?"

"Yes," Livia touched Psyria's arm. "She will be staying this evening with us. Now leave us."

After Adyna exited from the garden, Livia turned to Psyria and began to reveal why an Arci came to the Citadel. The human SpecTRe had to be pulled deeper into their world, seduced if necessary, so that she would travel willingly to the Chamber of Twenty-Two. Livia knew that any resistance could put the human in danger and that was not acceptable for either Livia or Councilor Tevos. Livia understood that if Liara was unable to put Thessia above her own needs, or was incapable of the seduction then Livia would need to look at other options. But that was not why Psyria was there. It was what Avyn on Aethoyner had heard in Shepard's mind ... _No daughter of Thessia shall harm her_. Psyria was a mind sifter and Livia may require that gift on top of her own skills as an Arci. But no one could know what she was contemplating outside of Psyria. No one.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Zakera Ward <em>–**

This arm was dominated by volus, elcor, and hanar with the Shrine of the Enkindlers located in this ward, along with the Vol-Clan Exchange, Courts of the Center, Galileo Industries Warehouse and the Factory District. It also had some of the best nightclubs and gambling centers, which is why Udina's Executive Assistant, Antun Obradovićo, headed here after missing Shepard. He still didn't understand how he had not seen her pass him. He had watched as the ship slowly made its way to the dock, watched as the supports were attached, watched as the walkways were extended, watched as Alliance personnel began to exit, along with an asari and turian. But no Shepard. He had been sure of that. Hell, Udina had instructed him to locate Shepard and escort her back to the human Ambassador's office, adding that Antun should not even think of returning without the SpecTRe in tow. So he had looked at everyone leaving the ship. Or he thought he had. Once the stream of people exiting the craft slowed down, he approached a guard standing just outside the walkway and requested to speak to SpecTRe Shepard.

When he was informed that she had already left the area, Antun began to sweat. He could not go back without Shepard. He couldn't. He asked where she had went to and the guard stated that he was not privy to that information. Antun requested to speak to the person next in command and a call was made to Pressly. It took a full twenty minutes before Antun found himself being escorted on to the Normandy where Pressly was waiting in the CIC.

As Pressly extended his hand and greeted the younger man, Antun prayed that Shepard was on her way to the Ambassador's office. After all, Udina had dictated a message over a day ago that requested Shepard report to him and the Alliance Captain as soon as she docked_. I fully expect you here for a debriefing before you meet or speak with anyone else on the Citadel, _was the exact wording used. His hope was dashed when Pressly informed him that Shepard was not on her way to meet the Ambassador's office but was debriefing one of her own crew.

"But where is she?" Antun asked, ready to hunt her down.

"I'm not at liberty to say," Pressly answered. "But you are free to wait in the conference room until she returns if you would like."

"No thank you," Antun answered, wanting to find a place that served palm wine. "But would you please have her contact me when you speak to her?"

Pressly promised to forward his request and Antun headed to the Blind Pyjak in the Zakera Ward where he ordered an ANAG palm wine. A group of turians in the corner of the room began to sing a song from Palaven just as a handful of asari maidens entered the bar. This was not Antun's crowd but this was one of the few places that served his kind of wine. Downing the wine, he ordered another knowing that he would not return without Shepard, no matter how long that would take.


	117. Confessions & Silence

"Mine?" Shepard looked at the craft docked behind the krogan not understanding.

"Yours," Wrex answered, enjoying the look of confusion now on the face of the human.

"But how?" Shepard moved past him to get a closer look at it.

Kaidan and Girard were also confused by what they had heard and just stood there speechless.

Seeing Shepard move closer to her new toy, Wrex couldn't help but think of her two escorts as unwanted guests. They should not be there. He had no personal issues with either man but he had truths to share with the woman. Truths that may break whatever ties were between the Beast and pup. But with these two here with her, he knew that words would need to be veiled and that was almost impossible for his kind. They were a blunt and honest species, not able to participate in the intricacies required for successful lies and deceptions. But Wrex had always been unique.

"Please don't tell me you traded that black thing for this ship," Shepard said.

"Something else," Wrex began to laugh as he thought of Pirene's request. The sound not only made Kaidan and Girard jump, but anyone within earshot. Shepard, seeing the reaction his laughter received, couldn't help but laugh herself.

"So tell me about this beauty," Shepard said, leaning against the rail as she looked at the salarian markings. Wrex moved next to her and began to educate them on what type of craft it was and what its capabilities were. Shepard had never seen or heard of an SK-6 Rait and upon learning that it was not only salarian designed, but constructed specifically for research and recon missions, she was pleased. It was that word recon that brought a smile to her face. "And what did you trade for her?"

"Your ass to Pirene," Wrex answered.

"What?" Shepard shot a look at Wrex and seeing that he was teasing her, hit him as she began to laugh again.

"Commander," Kaidan loved Shepard's throaty way of laughing but he didn't want her to lose focus on why they were there. He had been with her for almost eight months and knew how she could get distracted at times. Her curiosity and playfulness sometimes moved her off the playing field and this was important. A fellow Alliance brother had died and they did not know how or why.

Wrex looked over at Kaidan, eyes narrowing, as the male stepped closer to Shepard, who was busy looking at the nose of the craft and leaning farther over the railing.

"Yes?" Shepard moved back off the rail and turned to face Kaidan.

Shepard caught the seriousness in his face and shifted nearer to him, allowing him to lean in close as he whispered, "Commander, we need to know what happened to Crosby."

"Of course," Shepard nodded and, preferring to speak in private, asked Wrex if they could see the inside of the craft.

"This way," Wrex almost barked as he headed for the jet bridge.

Stepping into the craft, the first thing that Shepard noted were the small stains of salarian blood. Most people might not have seen the smears but Shepard's training made the small hints of violence stand out. Wrex caught the shift in Shepard's body and knew that she had seen something. He looked in the direction she was facing and cursed Pirene.

"What is the standard occupancy for this craft?" Shepard asked, moving away from the evidence.

"Six," Wrex answered, showing her the way to the sleeping and hygiene areas.

As Shepard toured the craft, Crosby in the back of her mind, she realized what this gift really meant ... Freedom from the Alliance. But that blood told her that a salarian or two or six may have paid with their lives to give her this freedom. Was it a good kill? An honest kill? Shepard looked over at Wrex as he explained how the bed pods worked and wondered if he had also killed Crosby. She shook the thought from her mind and tried to focus on what he was saying. He would not have betrayed her like that. Would he?

* * *

><p>"What has life been like living on a ship full of humans?" Tareina asked Liara, curious how the asari had adapted.<p>

"Interesting," Liara answered, adding, "But at times, I feel alone."

This confession made the listeners in the room nod at each other before turning their attention to Adyna who was sitting down to play the onai. All asari that had spent any time away from their own kind understood what she was saying. There was a connection missing that left them a little empty. Liara had felt that way on the Normandy, alone and different from the others. But she believed that those feelings were worth it because only she could help Shepard with the Prothean piece of the puzzle. Shepard. That was the new puzzle that Liara wanted to solve. She also wanted to draw the human into her and make her feel the beauty of the asari. She needed Shepard to enjoy being around her kind, because she could not see herself living in a world without her own kind.

The evening meal had reminded her how being in the presence of her family made her feel completely connected. Even as they remembered those who would no longer share these times, Liara felt at peace. Before the meal, Matriarch Livia had honored the memory of her mother and sisters just as Tatiaria honored the memory of her mother and sister. Liara had bowed her head, her heart filled with love, as she heard her Theia speak words of remembrance about her sister, Benezia. It was still hard for Liara to believe that Benezia was gone. Surrounded by members of her family, Liara half expected to see her mother enter the room and smile at her. _Liara, tell me about your time on the Normandy_, she imagined Benezia saying as she sat to the right of the Grameno. But that place was now filled by Tareina.

Adyna began to play one of Livia's favorite musical compositions, as Aikaterine and Aglaia began to dance together. Soon more joined the two in front of the onai but Liara chose to sit quietly and just enjoy being in the presence of her own. She wished that Shepard was there to meet her family and had learned that she had been invited to the party honoring the Matriarch's visit to the Citadel. That made her nervous. Shepard meeting her family. She prayed that they found her as pleasing as she did and that Shepard saw the beauty in her loved ones. Liara was not unaware of the resistance Aika had received when she announced her bonding to a human or how some in her family privately spoke of Liqui. That treatment had led Aika to build a home on Bekenstein just for Liqui so that no pain would come to her. Would Liara have to do the same if Shepard ever suggested that they live together? That very thought made Liara feel foolish at even entertaining the thought of living with Shepard.

* * *

><p>"This is nice," Shepard said, as she sat down in the pilot's seat and felt the soft leather. "Once this mission is complete, I can … hmm … this could work."<p>

"I'll have the lab and living quarters redesigned to suit your needs," Wrex said. "I have contacts here that can change whatever is necessary to make this completely functional for you."

"A chop shop?" Shepard asked, remembering the odd type salarian pods used for sleeping and the small tubes used for relieving oneself. "Toilets and showers are a must."

"Those tubes are big enough for these talJoks," Wrex said, motioning towards Girard and Kaidan.

"And you?" She teased Wrex. Seeing the pee tubes, Shepard couldn't help but wonder where Wrex had relieved himself because those tubes were only a few inches wide. She may not look at Fornax, Shepard still knew that Krogans were well-endowed and much too large for humans. Shepard's smile faded as she thought how asari were one of the few species that actually had sex with the krogan. Asari. This brought her mind around to Liara as she looked at Wrex.

_Stop!_ Shepard's mind had started to go down a path that made her cringe.

"I've had no complaints," Wrex almost growled, bringing her mind out of that bad place.

"I believe you," Shepard turned the chair toward the front viewport, not wanting to discuss Wrex's sex life anymore, and looked out at the Citadel traffic.

"Shepard," Kaidan was stopped by Shepard's raised hand as she watched a C-Sec pull over a shuttle off in the distance. "Busted."

"What is it, chatSag?" Wrex looked at Kaidan with the desire to throw him and Girard off the ship.

"I was talking to the Commander," Kaidan answered, wishing that Shepard would turn around and face them. He had seen the small pale green stains on the craft too and hoped that Shepard had as well. Those stains told him that this ship might not have been purchased but pirated by Wrex.

"And she is talking to me," Wrex had noticed that the two males remained close to the exit after the tour and that Girard kept his right hand close to his pistol, as if that would stop him. He didn't care that these two did not trust him. She did and that was all that mattered to him.

"Did you dispose of the object in a hard to find place?" Shepard asked, ignoring the tension between Wrex and Kaidan.

"Yes," Wrex answered, shifting his armor as she turned around in the chair.

"Good," Shepard nodded as she looked at Kaidan and then back at Wrex. Did she really want to know what happened? Her mind was struggling on what to do.

"Ask," Wrex almost seemed to command her.

Shepard looked up at Wrex and in that moment, she knew that she didn't want to ask but had no choice, "What happened to Crosby?"

Wrex might have told her the truth but not while there were others around, "Slipped."

"Slipped?" Girard stepped forward.

"Slipped," Wrex repeated, his eyes narrowing as his position shifted to a stance of strength.

"I'm afraid that you will need to give us a little more than that," Shepard said, standing up. "I promised to update the Alliance … saying he slipped is a little too vague."

"Shepard," Wrex moved toward her and the two men started to move forward until she waved them away.

"Wrex," Shepard stepped towards him, "I need to know what happened to Crosby."

"The human slipped," Wrex responded, looking down at her, "that is all you need to know."

"All I need to know?" Shepard continued to meet his stare as his words echoed in her head. She knew that he was holding something back but did she really want to know? She had sent him on a mission to see that a corrupted object was buried and he had done that. Wasn't that all she needed to know? Why was she about to open a door that might lose her Beast?

"Shepard?" Kaidan stepped closer.

"Wait outside," Shepard said, looking at both men.

"Commander," Girard, like Kaidan, did not feel comfortable leaving her alone with the krogan.

"That's an order," Shepard's words cut through him as her eyes warned both men that she would not be disobeyed.

"Aye, aye, Commander," Girard snapped to attention, followed by Kaidan.

Both Shepard and Wrex watched as the two men left the craft and once they were alone they faced each other. There was only three feet between the human and the krogan, a fact that should have concerned Shepard but didn't. She knew that he could kill her and the other two without any real struggle but she still did not fear him.

"What happened to NFO Silas Crosby, Wrex?" Shepard asked again.

Wrex could see that she wanted the truth, "He put the mission at risk."

"How?" Shepard asked, clutching her fists and stepping closer to him.

Wrex could see that she was becoming angry, "He was weak and didn't understand shutting up."

"You killed him?" Shepard clenched her jaw and felt her anger growing.

"I completed the mission," Wrex stated simply.

"No," Shepard could feel the tears welling up.

"Yes," Wrex said, just as she began to hit him.

"He was under my protection!" Shepard lashed out in anger as her fist pounded into the armor of the krogan. "How could you have killed one of my men? I trusted you."

"The mission always comes first, Shepard," Wrex said, unmoved by the pounding of her fists against his chest. "If you put people or your own weakness in front of the mission, you will fail."

"The mission fails if you have to kill your own men," Shepard said angrily as her pounding began to slow. What was she going to do? She knew that her fists were useless against him and even if it wasn't, she couldn't kill him. Not the Beast.

"He was not one of my men," Wrex said as he watched her struggle against him. "He was a weak human."

"Weak," Shepard felt her legs giving out and Wrex half carried her back to the pilot's chair.

Wrex looked down at Shepard, "Yes. The human was weak."

"So any of us are disposable to you?" Shepard felt stung by his words. "I'm just a weak human, Wrex … am I disposable too?"

"If you are weak, yes," Wrex answered, disappointed that she did not understand. How had she not learned that sacrifices were sometimes demanded? Or that your ally could just as easily turn and become your enemy … or, at the least, a liability?

"I don't believe that," Shepard's voice broke as she lowered her head. "I can't believe that."

"You will fail then," Wrex almost sounded tired himself.

"Fail or succeed, I'll do it without you," Shepard slowly stood up. "I don't want your ship or you. This is where we end, Wrex."

Wrex said nothing as Shepard exited the craft that he had given her.

* * *

><p>Livia had been carefully monitoring Liara since she had arrived and as the others were now focused on music, dancing and touching, it was time. Liara felt the Matriarch call to her as Livia headed for the garden, brushing against her mind as she went. The young asari stood up and followed, Psyria quietly taking her position just inside the garden.<p>

Liara found the Matriarch sitting down on the stone bench, next to the fountain, as she motioned for the young asari to stand before her, "Here, daughter."

"Have I disappointed you?" Liara asked, standing where she was instructed.

"Disappointed?" Livia could see that the young asari was feeling vulnerable. "Why would I be disappointed in you, Liara?"

"I failed to protect mother," Liara answered as she sat down on her own knees in front of the Matriarch.

"No," Livia bent forward and placed her forehead on Liara's. "You were her delight. It pleased me to know that even in her darkest moment she had you there. But let that be our secret for now."

Liara could feel the warmth from Livia and closed her eyes as the Matriarch brushed softly against her mind. It was not the touch of Benezia but it was comforting to Liara. She knew that the Matriarch loved her and would do everything within her power to protect her.

"So share with me your thoughts on the humans," Livia asked, after the union of mind.

Liara's mind instantly went to Shepard and she looked down at her hands placed softly in her lap.

"Are the humans unkind?" Livia asked, lifting Liara's face up by the chin.

"Not intentionally," Liara answered. "But on the ship I am reminded of what I am. Seeing the humans interact and connect reminds me that I am not of their kind. And it is true."

"Do you not enjoy being with them?" Livia asked, even as she felt Liara's mind drift back to Shepard.

"There are some that are pleasing," Liara answered, "Dr. Chakwas has instructed me on human biology, Lt. Alenko has shown me that humans are kind and –"

"And the SpecTRe?" Livia brushed Liara's cheek. "Petrina saw an interview with the human and says that she is quite attractive. Do you feel the same?"

"Yes," Liara lowered her head again. "She brings great pleasure to me."

Livia looked over at Psyria and brushing her mind requested that she give them privacy. Liara was young and Livia did not want her youthful pain to be exposed needlessly.

Psyria gave a small bow of her head and returned to the small gathering inside.

Livia placed her forehead back against Liara's and calmed her fears. She pressed upon Benezia's daughter that her words, her feelings were shared without judgment. Her touch of mind assured the young asari that the Matriarch, her Grameno, was there to guide her and strengthen her. Nothing more.

"Will you make me leave her?" Liara whispered; the words hard to speak.

Livia pulled back from Liara but said nothing. She did not know. Liara was young and experiencing life in its first stages. This concerned Livia and Councilor Tevos because in a short time, they believed, Liara would become bored with the human and move on. Livia would need to meet Shepard and understand what the human felt and the actual risk of the relationship. _If only you were the age of Petrina_, Livia thought.

Petrina, Delana's youngest, had just celebrated her 350th birthday and was now ready to bond with another person. This had pleased her mother who celebrated having all four of her daughters past the age of risk. With her recent maturation, she was being transferred to Oneiroi on Illium, the same pharmaceutical company that Sibilla worked. Both Delana and Tatiaria hoped that she could keep an eye on the younger, more reckless asari.

"Grameno," Liara placed her forehead on the Matriarch's lap. "Please do not have me turn away from her. Please do not send me away."

"Silence," Livia said softly as she began to rub Liara's back and look toward the gathering inside the residence. The young asari in just a few words had revealed her deep desire for the human and Livia did not want the others to know. Not yet. Maybe never.

Liara felt the Matriarch move inside her again, telling her that the desires she felt needed to be hidden away. That her desires could not be seen by the others and that she would need to appear unmoved by the human when she arrived at the party. Liara understood what was being asked of her and felt the Matriarch giving her strength. Liara would not disobey the Matriarch, but she would also not hurt her Elizabeth. Liara thought of Aika and wondered if she could help.

* * *

><p>Jadaran was one of the few krogan exclusive establishments left on the Citadel and the requests to allow others access was rejected by C-Sec. It was too dangerous to allow anyone except the one-ton krogans into a place that was packed almost wall to wall. Smaller species could be crushed in the Aroch Ward club and had been. The walls had streaks of blood, dirt, feces and vomit on them, along with dents where some krogan had fell or purposely rammed against in anger. This place was not for the weak or faint of heart and until you saw it, you would not believe a place like this was on the Citadel.<p>

The stone grill, with fire shooting up from the center, was completely surrounded by krogan slamming down cuts of pyjaks, landsmir and crou-crou. Once the outside of the half alive creature was burnt, they would carry it over to a trough that circled a fight box. That trough was already filled with rotting vegetables, splashes of krogan blood and insects scurrying about. The krogan would drop the burnt meat down into the trough and begin to eat. As they devoured their meal, they would sometimes encroach on another which would lead to a fight. Now you would have a fight in the box and one outside it. This added level of rage could, at times, lead into a frenzy that spiraled down into a violent nightmare of bloody chaos in the club.

Wrex had come here to find a place to let out his anger at the pup's response to his confession. How could she still be so … so … _human! Weak_! Wrex stormed down into the box where two krogans were battling and knocked them both back with his body. Tonight he was going to bring a few krogans to the brink of death and all without weapons or biotics. He wanted to feel their bones break beneath his teeth, body and claws._ She had not understood!_ Tonight a few krogan would be left bloodied and broken because a small, weak female had walked out on a krogan battlemaster. His pup had turned her back on him and he did not know how to feel about it. So he meted out his pain and confusion the only way a krogan knew how … violence.

* * *

><p>Kaidan knew that something bad had happened between Shepard and Wrex. She had exited the craft, depleted and with a darkened face. She did not speak or even look at the two men as she moved quickly past them. Girad and Kaidan had raced after her but neither asked any questions when they caught up. The return shuttle ride to the main Citadel port was silent and tense as Shepard watched the city pass by stone faced.<p>

Once they were back on the Normandy, she changed and headed for the punching bag. Girard and Kaidan, not wanting to leave her alone in case she blew, changed and raced to the gym after her. Girard was working out on a boxing speed bag not far from her and Kaidan was running on the treadmill as he watched her in the mirror.

Both men could see that she was still angry. Angrier, in fact. Girard thought she might also be crying but with the sweat and her hair falling down her face, he wasn't completely sure. Both men wished that they knew what had happened, what she was thinking and if they could help her. But for the time being, all they could do was stay close and be ready if she reached out.

Bob, weave, straight punch … she knew that they had followed her here, but she didn't care … bob, weave, straight punch … she didn't care about anything … bob, weave, straight punch … her burning, tearing eyes said that wasn't true … bob, weave, straight punch …_ fuck you, tears_ … jab, cross, jab, cross … _fuck you, Wrex_ … bob, weave, straight punch … these bitter tears were for NFO Silas Crosby who she had sent to his death … jab, cross, jab, cross … because she trusted a krogan … jab, cross, jab, cross … _a fucking krogan_ … bob, weave, straight punch … why had she trusted him … jab, cross, jab, cross … why had she started trusting any of the aliens … bob, weave, body shot … they were not like them … bob, weave, uppercut … how had she forgotten that … quick jab, hard straight punch, body shot, uppercut … he betrayed her and killed one of her own … jab, cross, jab, cross … would the other aliens betray her as well … bob, weave, body shot, uppercut ... would Liara betray her ... jab, cross, jab, cross ... _I can't let them get close again _... quick jab, hard straight punch, body shot, uppercut ... _I have to be more careful_ ... bob, weave, straight punch ... _they are just using me_ ... bob, weave, body shot, uppercut ... why couldn't she hate him ... jab, cross, jab, cross ... why did she love her ... quick jab, hard straight punch, body shot, uppercut ... _Mother, I'm so confused_ ... bob, weave, uppercut ... _I won't hurt Liara because of this _... jab, cross, jab, cross ..._ Why Beast?_


End file.
